Ayn's Multiple World: July 2009

Monday, July 27, 2009

Picture_-_CARF.mix

Friday, July 24, 2009

Ok, and then We're goin fishin!

Good morning this is me. I'm not sure how much time I really have to work on the writing, because there is some stuff that I'm supposed to be doing, but I need some time for myself too. Shoot ... it's already 8 am and now I'm realizing too that I haven't taken my medicine. Shoot, shoot.

Ok, let's not get excited. I still want to write a few minutes. Not sure what ... I'd like to avoid this think hanging over my head for the last two days in working with some very nasty - one in particular state workers. Maybe I can say something now and get it out of my mind finally? I don't know. I didn't get to explain to Rich what happened last night in addition to the night before, but I did get to talk to Dr. Marvin.

We had to laugh ... I considered his words of wisdom pretty close to basic kindergarten rule about being nice to others. This woman - Denise wasn't nice to start with, in the middle, or to the end. I don't think I can pin fair enough to myself all of her nastiness, but she started off by yelling something about throughing this family out on the streets ... yeah you can imagine where that kinda thing is going.

She acted like a very immature ugly female in that she started the dialogue by attacking, and then attacking and then attacking, and she wouldn't consider the whole picture ... she divided the family from us as if we were terrible with never checking out the facts ... She was accusatory and tried to say that we didn't know what we were doing in recording for this person although we'd been charting her progress for the majority of 8 years. She attacked our heart, our motives and our integrity. She made up her mind to start and again never checked out anything including having read the letter the family received.

This situation took place over many arenas. I had tried to call the state - the person I usually deal with for this client, she didn't return my calls and she didn't return them later when I again left a message. Since she works so closely with her supervisor I called the supervisor to ask if she'd been gone and if I could talk to her. She gave me about 2 minutes before she started tearing into me. She was saying that she had gotten a call from the family 20 minutes before and she had by chance talked to Kathy about this in the morning. After that about 20-30 minutes the brother of the client called - where before it had been the mother speaking Spanish to the secretary, he had said that he had talked twice to Kathy and he'd talked to this Supervisor Denise and that those two were coming to their house that night.

We felt very angry in all that time not only because of dividing the family from our care, but that they had not returned a call that morning, that afternoon when left messages or after the family had called them. They are painting themselves to be advocates, but they weren't helping the family by burning us. She was insulting to the max. I got angry at Kathy then when she did call she called during my Thursday meeting and she had started to try what her boss had done ... about how disappointed she was in us and some other such bullcrap, but I cut her off because I was in a meeting and had 15 minutes left. So I finished the meeting and its minutes, and then i called her back.

I think it was fair to say we were having it out. Afterword I went up to tell sister what was going on, and Kathy had gone to her supervisory. Eventually it became a four person call and after saying just a few words - controlled - The bitch told me she didn't like my attitude and went into this pitiful poor me routine of how she was being abused and I was like looking up at sister who had heard the whole thing and I held up my hands like ... what the fuck! Sister shook her head in disgust of the call, but quietly waved me down ... and then switched the subject. It didn't take too long before the woman tried to come off to Sr. about protecting her from this thug ... ME! Oh man I was so disgusted.

Then at the end sister asked her if we were going to try meeting with the client - because Kathy and I'd set it up for Monday if the family were available. The bitchy one yelled well that's if they want to deal with you at all. They might not want to come back ... my point was that if they chose not to come back that would be one thing, but they should still have an exit interview. Kathy was the one who had pushed this with another client. But, the lady had her head so far up her ass she couldn't see right from squat.

I don't think I've ever used this much anger while writing as far as crudeness, but it's the only way I can think of describing her. She shouldn't ever be allowed near people and people services. She's done this family no justice. And, then to the bottom line with the family? We've been trying to work with them and had had a meeting on June 10th and per the recommendations of the psychologist that works with us in behavior management, the family needed to take the daughter to see a psychiatrist. This had been suggested on her regular psychological report and it had been recommended by the weak and feeble Kathy at the meeting and in her visiting note.

The family has been in denial for a long time about their daughter. We'd worked I though very well at the staff meeting and things at that time were progressing forward. They had next signed the annual meeting and they'd received the new updates explaining their role to get the daughter in ... the mother then called and said she changed her mind, and then over the next two days her daughter attacked her peers three more times. She'd had incident reports written 16 times in the year ... by far the max of any of our clients and 11 of them had been in the last 3-4 months. We were starting to get serious complaints from the other families whose family members were getting attacked.

But, the family wanted to say these things didn't happen at home so they weren't obvious real. EVEN though they'd stated before during the meeting and the psychological report that she was aggressive. The state took the view point that we'd had her for 8 years that we should have worked her past these problems as if the girl didn't have internal problems. We'd worked hard with her for a long time and had worked her outbursts from being 45 minutes or longer to just 5 or at max 7 minutes. But, this part of her attacking others was up ... a lot since she'd had pneumonia in March. The psychologist listed her adaptability as severe and profound. She's got a 1.4 age level as to social skills. At odd times she would just get up and attack and at other times she responded poorly to others crying in the room. One way or another ... it was a situation of danger to herself and others.

We sent with the note explaining our position as to her not coming back until after seeing the psychiatrist, getting a medicine evaluation and getting a behavior plan. We thought our goal of tolerance was on track, but if the state was going to insist ... then that would be our line in the sand. We assured the family this wasn't asking them to leave ... and even if we did they'd have 10 days time before we could do that. But, obviously the state played with this to act out their importance although not listening to one of the two partie was doing the family no favor. They treated our center as if we were monsters.

Naturally, we would talk to Dr. Marvin about this. He sided on the side of St. Rose. He said that it would be irresponsible of us in protecting everyone at the center to let this kind of behavior go unchecked. He understood following the request of the psychologist to be getting a psych eval. When the family refused then that put us in a position of having to push harder. Its for the sake of the girl and the others in that room that she receives help. The family wanted to say that we just wanted to get rid of her. I was insulted ... you just can't do that kind of work with a person over so many years and be blankly shot down like that. I told them look through the papers that we'd sent and try to appreciate all the good that had come out of our relationship with her and with how many things we'd been doing with her.

Ok, ok ... moving on ... I didn't get a hold of sister, but I left my message with Rosa that Dr. Marvin had said we'd done exactly right in assuring that the girl get to a psychiatrist and that we needed to assure she was not in danger to others. I feel much better knowing that a professional would assess the situation as it would be most beneficial even though this person from the state level knowing nothing about the girl would think we should have corrected all of her problems and put her on some kind of behavior regiment.

Nuf of that! We got a fudgicle, some new coffee and we started the dishwasher. Shoot, shoot forgot the medicine again. Well we'll do that on the next trip up when we take the shower ... It's now about 9 am and I think Rich is coming home about 10 to be leaving at 10:30, so we better get going in about 15 minutes. That way my hair might dry by the time he gets home and I can pack before he gets here to speed that up. The house is in pretty good shape, but we've got to remember to take care of the kitties.

I think if I can get my head away from this other thing I should be looking forward to a great weekend. A good part of St. Rose went to the zoo today here in Brookfield. Funny now to think they are in MY town! It was something I'd gotten the original information for, but after I got the contact and general information, we turned it over to sister and she is seeing that it was followed through. I think it's great when our group gets out. It just doesn't happen as much now days as it had used to.

I think Rich was going to St. Rose this morning just for appearance. I know he's doing some work, but I never know if its directly for St. Rose or not. Yesterday he and I went to an online meeting with the person who is in charge of developmental disabilities at the department of human services. She did have knowledge of what was going on, but she was very unimpressive as to her general demeanor. She laughed and giggled at inside jokes she was making with her assistant. It was really unprofessional. I didn't find out who it was until after the meeting ... and it gave me a sinking feeling.

I took notes of the meeting and I gave the administration team a copy. They were a very comprehensive set of notes that was 7 pages long. Pswhoo. Just typed my little fingers to the bones. hehehe.

Ok, little fingers ... why don't you take yourselves to get some medicine before we get real confused. Hmm?

Ok ... we're back. We've taken a shower, taken our medicine, and packed our bag. It's now about 9:45 am so we should expect to have Rich come home at any time. We're ready ... just have to pour our coffee, put on our shoes and socks, and bring our bags downstairs. I should probably grab a couple of waters too, but I don't think any are cool. Usually Rich brings an ice cooler and there's a whole new stash of water so we'll see what he wants to do there. Hmm, there is something else I was going to bring. Got our medicine and camera and will pack up the computer. Maybe I should read back, I think I wrote it down. Hold on.

AHA! We need to remember to take care of the kitties food. I'll do that next time up ... just gotta remember. Right now we need a little break. I'm feeling pretty hot. I think things are going pretty good. I'm not sure if we should make another pot of coffee. It will I suppose depend when Rich gets home. Right now we're good, but I don't think what we got will fill up both our traveling cups. We'll see ... I can check on that after Rich gets in. I'm hoping that the dishwasher gets through the washing part, but I think its not going to finish its drying cycle before we have to leave ... we'll need to check on that. I'm thinking we should call the apartment people about some of our slow draining, but I'm not up to that right now. Maybe while we're traveling.

I also have to consider calling in my medicine. We'll be out by Sunday night of one of them ... we might do that on the road too. I'm not sure whether or not we should bring the bill things. We've got enough time to be working on that kinda thing while traveling ... just not sure if I want to get into it with Rich being there. I don't want cause for argument or worry. But, it would be good to get it done. Maybe we'll bring it with just to have the option of doing it ... we can always pass. Ok, that's thought through.

I'm feeling much more comfortable that things are happening soon. Supposedly within the hour we'll be leaving, but I'm not sure if Rich is running on time.

Whoops ...exactly on time ... Rich just walked in ... better close up and flow with the stream! And hopefully there are fishies there waiting!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Just a tickle

Good morning. This is me. It's already Wednesday. The week is going fast, and we should be taking off the next two Fridays.

Whoops nurse Ann in the house! Rich has been having a bad neck problem that followed a bad knee problem, etc. So, he ended up sleeping out in the living room some time during the night and he seems to have gotten out the heating pad. Now I just helped him because he said he needed we heat. I got him a wet washcloth and he put that on his neck, and then a dry towel and then the hot pad set to medium. His eyes are sometimes open and sometime shut, but we turned it over to one of his fishy shows.

My poor baby ... he's been looking so pathetic this morning. Just have to take care of him and love him to pieces. Whoops ... gotta pay attention cuz I have to do the remote to get past all the commercials. But, I think my patient is sleeping ... because we are watching hooknlook, and he's keeping his eyes closed now. Awe a little snorey too. No way if he was awake he'd miss this because they show the fishes under water. And there were a ton of em.

I know this is pretty problematic, because he was saying he was going to stay close to home today and that he was going to sleep for a couple of hours. Now we're going to watch city limits fishing. We've only got about 20 minutes left. The problem with him staying home is that he should be picking up his medicine and he's not going to get out ... so I think I'm going to try picking it up before work. That means I should probably leave in 10 minutes. Maybe I'll go for that. Too bad though because I like just sitting here typing and sneaking peeks at Rich just to make sure he's breathing alright. I feel better to know he's sleeping just a little worried that he's going to burn his neck with the heating pad. But he's got his hand on the control so I can't turn it off. I don't want to wake him up.

Hmm, we're not getting too far this morning. Maybe we'll get going. Shh, let's not wake up the sweets!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

It's the BIG 5-0 BD Girl!

Good morning ... this is me. It's kinda later in the morning and we've got less then 45 minutes. Yeeks. I didn't realize it was that late, I might need to take a shower in a few moments? Rich is busy doing Rich things and we've got lunch coming up at 11:30 PM and then by noon we're going to leave. He's doing errands right now, but the first thing we'll do is stop by and pick up a couple of lawn chairs for my b-day present ... then we can use them to watch the fireworks tonight.

Well, let's give it 9 more minutes. The thing about today? Well after much crying, and clinging and wringing of hands ... Rich finally had enough time to play with me. :) He's trying to say it was 3 times already this week, but we don't have recollection of the other times. So it shouldn't really count. He's got to allow some time and patience for the thing about having many parts with many umm similar interests. HMPF!

It was soooo nice! Ok, we can't really say more than that, but it sure did take a lot of stress off things. We've been having such long involved weeks. Coming up to a big 5-0 birthday is part of it ... and I think it was weighing on us that we wouldn't ever have 40's s ... well you know again, and then we've been worrying about being in the 50's and maybe somehow locking up. I'm very grateful to say 50's aren't that bad so far! I am grateful that some of my FB friends are from high school and it seems the BUNCH of us are turning the 50 card. Wow! Exclusive club!

Within about 3 weeks Joe got engaged, Nathan got married, Rich got divorced, Maury got divorced and Thom got separated, plus Rich lost his job and Maury moved in. There's a little more, but these are the most substantial things. There must be something very strong in the horoscopes to be making all these changes. We've been trying to be supportive all around, but it's a lot of worry for me. For the most part I've been trying to stay balanced. I've gone to Dr. Marvin's most weeks and we've been doing some good work at work. We're doing well with the Annual reports and we've come up with the general format of the big Performance Analysis. We've been working hard on it. It's all a major part of CARF. We've really put in some time too in the groups and especially in the client files including work on Holly's and training in Robin.

Ok, good good ... out of the shower. That only took a few moments, especially because I had already had my medicine and I didn't have to prepare my lunch for work. I'm looking around now thinking I should pick up some here, but I'm not quite up to that. Mostly it's bringing a few things into the kitchen with me. Oh oh ... Rich got home. Is there going to be laundry? I hope he's not grumpy. We told him several times its our birthday and not to expect so much from us, but then again I know he's working.

Ok ... done that. We folded clothes with Rich and we ate Chinese leftovers from last night. We're doing pretty good. PLUS, we have a half an hour before it's time to go. We're being caught into news a bit in that they are going over Walter Cronkite's passing and then too some stuff on the new expose on being black in America on CNN. They've been having a couple of preview sessions on depression especially with black females and how culturally they seek the church and not therapy. That's left me with thoughts too.

Hmm, I think I'm going to bring my computer today ... I can leave it in the car until it's time to be at the fireworks. Then I'm going to want to write some maybe between periods of waiting for things to get started and stroking babyface. Maybe I'll have enough time to pull together some thoughts memorizing the day.

One thing special that happened is that some people remembered me on FB. I think I'm going to want to save that too ... let me see if it transfers over.

Hmm, that's going to take some doing. Maybe we can think of that later.

Oh oh ... its 21 minutes before the fact of leaving and Rich is starting to hurry me. We reminded him that the reason we asked for the time he wanted to leave ahead of time was so we didn't conflict when he started pushing me around. Then he said stuff, but I was like ... umm it's my b-day and I'm not going to be rushed through it.

I'll hold that ground for about 6 more minutes and then I will move just to make sure I'm standing at the door at 12 pm.

I know I could start now, but that just isn't my thing ... takes a couple minutes to move my motors! I have to think through what I need to do first. I've got to save this document and shut down the computer, and then I have to clear off the couch from leftover stuff. Then I gotta get my camera AND extra batteries. We're getting scared of having to walk long today. We've got the museum and then Rich said we're going to get a water ferry and go over to Navy Pier for dinner and then back to observation point for the fireworks which might be another ride? I don't know ... maybe just move the car or catch a cab. Not sure ... it's not a real long way but too long to walk. Hmm, I better get something for my medicine too - for tonight.

Then I have to brush my hair and check on my face ... and then we have to get dressed - and make sure we got our phone and we're standing by the door. I should make coffee to take with, but I'm guessing at this time of day I should focus on water. *Sigh*

Ok, anything else? Don't think so ... just feelin special because of it being my day and because so many people were nice to stop by my FB and because Rich is doing whatever it takes to make my day special. Sure do love him to pieces. I gotta think if I'm with him today ... everything will be ok.

Umm, Sometime earlier this week ...

Good morning. This is me. I'm up early this morning in that it's about 4:50 and I've been talking to Thom in Im for quite a while. I won't go into all that here because it's not my business to expose Thom, but it sounds like things are concluding toward a legal separation. I have to see how that works out. I was happy that he felt he could talk to me. That's all on that.

Just got to wind down some feelings and get my thoughts back in order to my own business. I'm a little distracted. Maybe if I just get into being here in the room ... Well the kitties left the door open to their bathroom again - third time this morning :( and we're listening for just a few more moments to Anderson Cooper. Whoops there he goes. Now American morning is starting with John and Carol. Funny ... Carol is stepping in this morning for Betty, but my mothers and stepfather's name is John and Carol. Ok, that's about as far as we want to go there.

Hmm, technical difficulties with the channel ... ok, shhh ... we can do this. Just have to calm down.

Fishyface is still sleeping. I don't think he got home last night until about 11 pm. He had a lot of things to do. I remember counting off 5 things he had to do before getting home. One of them was to stop by and visit his friend Doug and another - the last thing was to visit with his son - maybe two sons. He might have been going out to see a movie ... maybe something different I'm not sure.

When he got home last night we were sleeping on the couch. I remember him waking us up and having us take our medicine. I think we were too tired to be real resistant. But, I can't remember the specifics. I think I went to bed early, because when I woke up this morning it was early and I hadn't even turned on my computer. I guess that's just the way things were.

I had made a couple stops on the way home from work. Rich needed me to pick-up his new computer and I needed to stop by the bank. Good Ann. There wasn't much to picking-up the computer. I had to wait a little bit before the Geek from Geeks Squad finished doing what he had to do. He suggested that I look around and I did so reluctantly. BUT, I knew right in front of the area I was waiting in there were phone and phone accessories. Basically, what I was looking for was earphones for my iPod - and if it would follow something for my phone.

What I ended up looking at was the blu-tooths. I think I could get one and it should work on the computer, phone, AND iPod. that be pretty cool. I'm not sure exactly how it works, but the effect is something like wi-fi ... where it just connects by being in the vicinity without the wires. I know how it works with the phone in that my phone is connected to Rich's car and if I don't turn off the Blu-tooth manually the car picks it up and we're listening to it over the speaker system. That seems easy enough.

The headphone I was looking at was a bigger ear thing then the two buds I have that have both broken because they were so cheap. I liked the sound well enough and the inconspicuous part, but they just didn't hold up ... the glue keeping the plastic shells together gave out. I saw them at the store yesterday and they were like $29.99. Yeeks, I don't want to do that again. The ones I was looking at were much more substantially, but the same idea - where they went in the open ear part instead of covering it. I don't mean to block out all else, just don't want to be looking as if we were closed off. I really, really like the part that it's wireless though. I like the idea of being to carry my devises in my pocket while in use and that includes being hands free in the car.

So anyway ... what we're getting to here is that the ones I liked cost $99.99. Yeeks that's a bite. But, the one thing I got going forward is that it's a step closer to getting back to the gym. The music and video was something that kept me entertained while I was there. Even if I only walked or biked, it would be enough to start.

Ok, not too much here though because I'd be way ahead of myself. I don't want to claim that's the only reason, because then I'd be liable to go even if I wasn't ready ... just a stepping stone. Hmm?

I have more that I want to talk about as to some of the work were doing at St. Rose, but it's already 5:30 am an that our new time to be taking our shower. I'd like to be up and out before Rich gets up and we're trying to leave here at 6:30 am and get to work at 7:00 am. This is all part of a general plan to be more work-worthy and to also get out the door by 2 pm on Friday's ... that part is all just too nice. So ... let me do that and then we'll come back, k?

Ok, Back!!

I just stopped by to wake up Rich too. It's about 5:40 am. I figure it's going to take him 20 minutes to get showered and dressed and that will allow some time for him to be with me :) Well, actually he has been trying to make poached eggs for both of us and this morning he has to check out his new computer. He should also be getting down to work earlier. We don't want him to become a slouch potato. I got to remember to tell him that when sister came back with the checks yesterday, she asked to herself out loud, "I wonder what he's working on? I wonder what he's doing?" She said it standing in front of his desk and I didn't volunteer anything. I figure she has to ask HIM directly if she wants to know that kind of information. And, you can be sure we're going to prepare bunny for that.

He needs to be up WITH an agenda!

Ok, we got that all going ... now maybe back to where we were gong earlier. Basically we've been doing something new to us this last week and we are working on it late into the night - well at least until 5:15 pm when we went home yesterday. Basically, we are making use of the Annual meeting for the clients to take really good report notes, and then after the goals and such are written, we go back over the annual report and pull out things like goals and objectives to work on.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Drew a Partial Blank at Work :(

Ok, hi … this is me. We’re finding that we are having one of those kinds of days we haven’t had for a while, but we’re having a hard time making ourselves work. We did for the record come in this morning and we did a solid 3 ½ hours in putting together our Annual report. We had to keep rewriting until we could do something that satisfied us while matching Rosa’s space requirements. Annual Report now days is SLIM!

I’m going to cheat here and look to see how long it’s been since we’ve written. Hold on.

Oh Lordy … it’s now been about 6 days again. I’ve got no steady track record growing from this at all! I don’t think I would have thought of it even now, but V had sent a note and I thought … shoot I’m probably remiss in covering thoughts all over the place.

It seems last time I wrote it was a Tuesday and I’d just been on a bit of a break. I was pretty sleepy. It was the day of Michael Jackson’s big memorial. We had gone out to dinner with Bob the night before and his mother was dying. I think she died on that day – Tuesday. Her memorial was on Thursday and her funeral was on Friday. For the record Bob joined his fishing buddies on Saturday and he brought his brother-in-law with to do the fishing.

Hmm seems like she might have died earlier and I already wrote that. Ok moving on then. Rich had gone to the service on Thursday night and I’d gone to Dr. Marvin’s. Then before I got home Rich had already left for his trip north and he caught about 40 fish he said between Friday and Sunday, but he felt bad because his aerator died and then a couple of his fishies die. Fishymen don’t always eat their fishes. Our guys let them go back so feel bad at times like this.

I’m just skimming over the details and it says that Rich was to be in court that day and Maury was starting to stay over. I think I was being cranky because of the money grab especially because his kids were pushing against Rich’s heartstrings and he’d just lost his main job.

As it turned out he did go to court and the court decided that day that they are officially divorced! I say that with exclamation, but Rich wasn’t going to make it a happy thing and about that time Maury was saying that his divorce would be final THIS week – on Wednesday. AND, he didn’t want to make it be something special either. I think both were sad for losing what had once been so important to them.
I was right about the money grab. Rich is now paying his wife $3000, which is $400 more than it had been the day before and not apparently based on much of anything except desire. I asked him sorrowfully, did she take the entire house too? And, here he at least said, no … I still own a 1/3 of it.

I’m so relieved for that. The family has been adding on to the second mortgage which Rich is responsible to pay. So the appliances they wanted and the roof repair and new bathrooms and lawn mowing and all that were coming off the second mortgage. If the place sells then Rich is going to need a portion of the house to pay off the 2nd mortgage even though it all wasn’t his. Part of it WAS his though in that he’d made that one financial deal with his friend Doug.

Bottom line is though that Rich after paying over 30 years on a house deserves to at least break even getting out of it. I feel he’s been raked over the coals. In the meantime she continues to talk about her retirement. She says sometimes she’s thinking of moving down to where Jillian is – if she could get Chris to join her with his fiancé. That just relays how needy she is of her son. She’s also already talking about getting married again. It seems like her to think marriage before even having picked out a guy.

Then there was an upset, because I was frustrated. She had asked through the kids as if it was perfectly reasonable and sane … basically, if her second marriage didn’t work out, could she go back to getting his alimony? AND, she made it clear she wanted an additional life insurance policy on him. To me that means she’d be more happy with him dead than alive. Maybe I should think more generously like she’ll be financially depended on him. But, one thing is for sure and that is she isn’t going to take responsibility for herself. She talks of shopping until she drops as if money were no object. I think if you are not making your own way in this world you lose sight of how difficult money is to come by.

I think the part I hate the most is that amount of spite she has toward Rich. She hated him while he was there and now she hates that he is gone. Depending on who she talks to she’s either the victor from surviving a marriage which only saving grace was to produce children, and then at other times it’s the poor grieving woman who’s been led astray and whose life has been destroyed.

I see her using the kids similarly making their stories fit to the audience or her mood. I had read something she had written about her kids not giving her grand children to dote on because they were so busy with school. Granted Jillian has done a terrific thing in completing her Master’s degree, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she worked a little then stretched for her doctor’s degree. She seems to have a mind for education and she’s very smart.

The boys though ARE NOT going to school. I don’t think they are even talking about it loosely. Jon’s happy in his life and Chris will need to secure a life for his fiancé. Most likely though until Rich’s ex decides to sell the house, the girl will need to be under her MIL. I think that’s the biggest detriment to a young relationship is having to deal with a Mom.

I think that Chris and his girl might have a child most likely sooner than later, but Jillian and Jon are not in relationships where children could be had except through adoption. We’ve talked before of them being gay. Personally, I love it, because I love Dr. Marvin and I imagine them to be like him perfectly whole as they are without asking for them to bend to another kind of relationship that isn’t them.

I know, I know I’m in above my head again. It’s an awkward relationship to know them and yet not know them for so many years. I guess the final point is that … you gotta stay as honest as you can. I think this part is what has caused Rich the biggest hardship and that he is going to be paying for his guilt for hiding the relationship with me to his family and its going to go on for a long time if not the rest of his life. It won’t matter to them how hard he has tried throughout a loveless marriage to provide yet for her and give his kids some sense of security.

I don’t know if they will understand ever how hard they are on him.

So … maybe about now we’ll try to reground. I just talked to my own son a little bit ago. I had written in the Facebook that I had a surprise at home that I’d hoped he might like. I had gotten both him and Rich their own box of poker chips. I think that I’ve mentioned it here already. They had come in over the weekend and someone had very considerately brought them upstairs and left them by our door. It was REALLY nice, because the box was to have weighed about 50 pounds. YEEKS!

Before anyone got home yesterday, I decided to take the silver carrying boxes with the chips and cards out of the cardboard box. I set them both on the coffee table at an open angle from each other and I put CS new birthday quilt she’d made for me and I put it on the couch, and then I put up all the little things she got such as the Twister crayons and pencils and the markers. There was also some clay and a simulated stain glass (plastic) window set AND a white shirt with small colorful drinks.

I was really taken with my sudden wealth! This was a really super part of it being a super birthday and it’s not even my day yet.

When I talked to Rich a little bit ago, he said that for my special day on Saturday, he would like to take me down to a museum and that we might go to Navy Pier or observation park where we can listen and watch fireworks. I’m a little afraid of all the walking now, but he’s been building me up to do this without the wheelchair which is long gone. He also said that for my gift he might find us a chair that we can sit on outdoors – and then of course we asked if he could have a matcher so we could sit together. He said, MAYBE!

I’m trying to be my braver self which is going to need making that kinda day ok, even if we’re, scared, tired, hot or thirsty. It’s a lot to ask for! But, when we’ve made it past all those pitfalls, we know that we’ve really enjoyed nuzzling our pumpkin in the park with fireworks going off overhead!

There’s something more too. Maury is not committing to it, but Joe has said for our birthday that he and Cari would like to make a special dinner for us at our house.

Wow!!! That’s like a bigger deal than anything! We of course then had to figure out whether they will go as far to cook for Alex and Maury and maybe Alex’ girl – though she doesn’t come out anywhere it seems. We’ll have to wait and see with that one. Maybe we can have it earlier than 5:30 pm because I hadn’t known when making the plan if we were going to be out of town or not.

Hmm, just talked to Joe in IM and it’s still set to 5:30 pm on Sunday - He says no to the poker though and yes to the Alex part. Ok, better leave well enough alone then so we don’t get him backed out … too exciting having him do this. I think Rich will try to squeak something in over at his mother’s on Sunday too. I think he wants to look at the boat with Bud. If he’s planning on having lunch there it better be REAL early and we should do it ourselves so we can get home in time and be hungry for a dinner.

AHA! I just called sir Sweetie Pie. He said we could go out for lunch maybe with his Mom and Bud. This is what I asked for so we didn’t get behind in our schedules. AND, I made sure he knew I wanted to be home an hour before Joe got there. Wow! It’s really stacking up to be a good weekend. I’m not sure about Maury though. He made it seem like he was going to keep it open as if he might want to do something else if it showed up to be more fun.

I thought that was kinda fickle and am trying not to be a Mom about it. Maury and us discussed something else. He was telling me he was feeling pressure because I’d asked him if he was coming home tonight because he had said he was going to yesterday, but didn’t … and so then it gets me to worrying. He said then that that was one of the reasons he’d chosen his Dad’s place first, because he knew his Dad wouldn’t worry about his schedules.

It was like ok … hold on … let me get out of my Mom mode. And, then he said something about me being overly gushy like being SOOO happy with stuff. I said, what happens if I gotta bunch of gushy in me? He said I should do something else with it. I don’t know how to really do that yet. This kid is coming in with a bunch of rules!

And, so then I asked so are you staying out just this week, or are you not planning on coming back at all? I think he’s staying over at a girl friend’s house, but that would be just momspeculative because he’s doing such a great job of not letting me know while making me feel guilty for WANTING to know. So, then I laid down the other hand.

It was like … YOU KNOW … if I knew when you were coming in and out; it might have a better affect on my sex life! So then he said – maybe that’s why I’m staying out so late … I said something like this is not a very good plan yet. And, then he said well 50% of the time you know I’m not coming and 50% of the time you know I might come. I added, but like last night in your 50% might come Fishyman came home and he’d not been there for so many days.

Then he said well you can do it for 3 nights a week and if Rich is doing it more often than that – we should sign up for a sex program. HMPF!

Well … right … we can see where that fox is heading into a hole!

Ok, ok … now we got ourselves all riled up. But at least he knows about what we’re thinking here. There’s got to be some better way of managing all this. I’m NOT giving up MY SEX LIFE!!!

Ok, girls shhh, shhh. It’ll be ok. Dr. Marvin asked on Thursday … yeah I was going to ask how that was going because he knows we have some nakedly preferences. DOUBLE HMPF!

Lordy … it’s been that kinda life.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

A day producing a lot of Changes

Good morning this is me. There is just 45 minutes before going back to work, but it should be a free and clear time unless I just can't wake up! The kitties got me up at 4:00 am this morning then we fell asleep on the couch, then Rich got up around 5 and then we fell back to sleep and then we took our shower and we ... well you can kind of read the writing on the wall. We need to be drinking more coffee!

Whoops ... fell asleep again. :*( shoot ... just did it again I may have to get up and move around a bit. Just a little too peaceful here. It's 6:30 am now and I only have a half hour :(

Ok, we got up and got more coffee and got dressed and such. So far so good. Missy needs some attention, but otherwise we're free and clear.

Well ok, now maybe 15 minutes ... we did a few notes over at Facebook. We're also listening to the stuff on Michael Jackson. Today is the day of his big memorial. CNN is going to be here covering this news all day. I think the actual service will be about 10 am today. I think that's central time, but I'm not sure. It's hard to believe how much news coverage there has been on his death and all that goes with it. Some people are complaining about that especially because soldiers died in Afghanistan and there's not so much coverage of that kind of news because of this other. I think this has to do with America's general attention span.

We're still kind of fuzzy. Last night Rich got home pretty late. He had a game and then he met Bob for dinner and then he came home, but it was about 9:30 pm. Bob had been invited up, but Rich said he was too tired. Bob's mother had died yesterday morning. I feel very bad for him. Rich says he seems ok, but there is definitely hardship on him and his family. The wake is going to be on Thursday night and the funeral will be on Friday. I think that Rich and I will go to the wake together, but he will have been there before me so to support Bob. And, then Rich said that he would probably go to the wake on his own.

Bob is encouraging Rich to still go up to the fishing on Friday, and it seems as if Bob might join the guys by Saturday if things are cleared here. I think he needs some time to gather himself and fishing is usually how he does this. I think that Rich's partner is being very giving in Rich's needs to be here to support Rich so is accommodating whichever schedule comes up and as it turned out, Bob didn't have a partner for fishing this weekend, so if he comes at all or just for Saturday and Sunday ... he should be ok. I worry a bit about him being on his own, but then after all the going ons of the week, maybe he will be able to appreciate some clearing of his mind space.

That's about it for now. I'm going to have to get going. Maury isn't up yet, but I don't know his schedule and again I have to think he's mature enough to pull things together as necessary. He did say something and let it be known that it was a very sensitive issue, but he said it looks like he should be divorced - in final - by next Wednesday. I think he's feeling really bad about, but he was going out last night after he came home from work and took a shower. We'll let him be as long as he wants and try to be here to listen when he wants. Lots of changes.

Rich is supposed to be going to court today to finalize his divorce too today. His son called yesterday while Rich and I were in my office at work. He's pressuring his father for more concessions. Rich said she wanted a couple hundred more dollars. But, then by the time we got home, Rich had gotten notice that she actually wanted $400 more dollars and she wants the entire house. Originally, she gets 2/3rds of it so that if it sells, Rich gets 1/3 to pay for the second mortgage on the house.

I'm really worried for Rich because he's giving her so much without her giving anything. I also worry because the kids are pushing that he give her more and more because she's complaining to them. I'm afraid that Rich has no support from his family. His mother would like to give him more support, but Rich doesn't want her negativity. So ... most likely he'll go to court today and concede whatever it is she's asking. There was no discussion on this just an 11th hour grab for the money. I can't tell you how disappointed I am in Rich's family for not considering his problems - like the problem of him having gotten laid off yesterday, or at least in 4 days time. It's just so harsh. I can't help but to think this is all my fault.

Monday, July 06, 2009

It's a whole new life this morning

Good morning ... this is me again. It's almost 6 am on a Monday morning and Rich has just left, Maury is still sleeping, and I'm just out of the shower. Hmm, we forgot to take our medicine ... this is what happens when we change our schedule. I think I'm going to wait an extra half hour before taking it so I don't lose out on time at the end of the day that I'm going to need before taking the evening medicine. The idea so far was to have us get through the bathroom before he wakes up. We forgot to check what time he's getting up, but I'm thinking either 6 am or 6:30 am. His work is literally just a mile or so away so I'm guessing he's going to grab as much sleep as he can.

Rich's situation in waking up early was because he wanted to get into work early especially if this was going to be his last day. He figures that his boss will call him in today to let him go. I think I explained that yesterday. The majority of JVS is being let go and because the workshop is now closed he doesn't have a direct job. He thinks they may offer him a job at half his income, but then again maybe they won't ... most likely they won't.

Last night Rich had been out with his son and then when he came home we were talking to him in our bedroom. He sat on the side of the bed which isn't an unusual position for him and I rubbed his back as he explained how he thought this last day was going to go. He had his mail to go through and his desk to clean up. He's held that office for a long time and its going to be hard to imagine it not being his. I won't go into again what I think of them, but I told him before he left today, "And, remember that no matter what they say, they are still jerks!"

*Sigh* I just want to make sure that he's going to be ok, no matter how it goes down today. He said he would call me once he finds out, but otherwise he's going to go in and start clearing his desk ... he says he's got about 2-3 boxes of stuff. He said there were boxes at work and he would get them there. He expects to be told around 8:30 am. Maybe that's because his boss is around then, but I'm not sure. I think if his desk gets cleared then he's going to go through his mail and do some paperwork to make sure his employees time sheets get in and then he's going to work on his car expences. I forgot what you call that.

Hmm, I think that Maury's alarm just went off ... Both the kitties were sitting with me on either side ... One seems concerned, but not the one laying next to the window. Hmm, I guess not too concerned because he just moved down to where my knee was bent. Hmm, the other kitty turned directions. They are now both paying attention to the back of the house, but no one is rushing around yet. They did good with him sleeping here in that they got up as normal and had breakfast and such. They don't though like the part where their access to me in the bathroom was closed as was the bedroom when Rich got dressed.

I wonder if Maury is one of those that need the alarm to ring several times before he gets up. The alarm was going off at 6:08 am and now there doesn't seem to be much movement back there. Seems like I should be doing something, but not much to be done. I'm thinking I'm not so excited about putting on make-up today. I will have to give it good thought, but it sure seems nice not worrying about it over the weekend. I'm not sure how much difference it makes. I know I should, but then *sigh*

Ok, let's be moving on.

Hmm, just got up and refreshed coffee and did lunch and medicine and then checked my Pirates ... well you know me ... where there's a buck to spend ... I had half a billion which bought me a few islands. We just made sure we put out our morning entry too at Facebook. The big news of course today is Rich being let go of. I sure hope he's going to be ok. He's still got to be feeling some sense of shock even though he knows its coming.

Rich talked to another director over the weekend who was demoted. Instead of taking care of the building - SKC, she will be taking care of case management I think. She's really hurt and angry. I will feel so much better after Rich clears his desk and gets the hell out of there. This is just hard stuff. You can't have worked 25-30 years for someone without feeling some emotion. This company ... can't say enough bad stuff about it. AGAIN ... we don't want to get stuck here.

Rich said that he will probably finish and then head over to St. Rose Center ... I will feel good about that. I will want to see him and make sure he's ok.

As to my plans ... thinking we're going to talk to Maury in a few moments. Just to tell him we're going to work. Hmm, better rethink that. Maybe we should just let him go and see that he wakes up on his own. We've heard the alarm, but he needs to be doing stuff on his own and I've nothing to suggest that he wouldn't want it done any other way. We'd left out sheets last night and we left out towels. He knew that the drawer ... ok, we're obsessing here. He'll be fine. He'll know that he can take out the chair in the bathtub and that he should leave the liner inside the tub, right?

Poor Mom ... we just are so excited about having Maury here. He said in his Facebook yesterday only that he was going to be getting ready the place where he was going to stay off and on again. It makes me feel a little bad, because it seems as if he's embarrassed or something to say he's going to be at his Mom's. Maybe he's thinking that it's no ones business, but he should have told his soon-to-be ex anyway. I don't know maybe there is some pride involved in that he's not going to want to seem dependent. I'm not sure. But, the fact remains that he's here and I'm real happy to be helping.

I should be getting going then? I never got to the part of thinking through what I am going to be doing for work, but that's coming up now too. Better get going, right?

Good morning like the old days

Good morning ... this is me. It's Sunday morning and I'm not sure how far I'm going to get because I might want to take care of some other goals, but for now we're here so we're going to take advantage. CNN is now back on in the background and we're hearing Bill, Donna, Ed and being interviewed by John King. This is a solid set of arguers and they try to listen to each other, but they are solidly in their own camps be it Democrat or Republican so I'm not sure how much ground you gain because they are not one up on issues to each other's statements and they dance and roam around the board so there is too much being discussed and not enough specifics. It's a general problem on CNN. They should be held to argue one point to another giving it you best 4-6 sentence shot and then be cut off ... People instead just generally start talking and then see where they come out. It's ok for me in a journal, but if your an expert you should be able to specify quickly the points of each argument.

Ok, so that's where we are with that. Missy just came over to visit our ear and Chief is laying at the bottom of my space, but other than that we're pretty calmed down for the time being. We had gotten up before Rich because of the kitties around 5 am and then came in and out of a daze until Rich woke up around 8 am to see his show. About an hour later we decided to take our shower and get ready for the day because we didn't know when Maury was coming over and we had figured we better be decent. We also took our medicine perhaps a bit late, but in there sometime.

And, then about 9:30 am, Rich decided to start movin around more seriously after his show had ended. He unpacked his suitcase and took his shower and we checked in on him and then did house pick-ups so that everything was in its place and the dishwasher was started. After that I came to the computer to catch-up my pirates, Rich got out of the shower and he made his plans so that the clothes load was going down, he was going to pick up a few things at the grocery store and we'll be working on our writing until about 35 minutes from now where we'll back Rich up on the laundry if he's not back in time.

So so far ... we're doing pretty good.

This last couple of days has been pretty good. I had some complaints about Holly at work, but I don't want to go into that now. I don't even know if we haven't already written about it. Basically, the bottom line there is that she tried to go the route where she's more on track than she is, but that hasn't bared-up in real life. The worse part is that she's starting to mess up things with the extra Q assistance - Robin, and the best part is that she's going to go under review of Sr. Theresa on Monday and things like her not being able to file or take care of her own case files and her needing to give the secretary the billing she claims is sooo much of her time and is also not getting done ... well all that's going to come to light and she'll have to be responsible for herself.

Meanwhile ... it's best that I watch my own store. I've been working the last three months to get my files in shape and I'm up to 81%. I think I started about 65%. Holly is at about 37%. Nothin to do for either of us, but to just keep working at it. Thing is that wasn't happening in Holly's situation, because she was in such hard denial of things being wrong she couldn't afford to even look at it because it would disprove her stories. I'm somewhat like that with CARF.

Rich and I were talking yesterday on his way to his Mom's and we talked to him about if he wanted to reassure his job at SRC with Sister, he should do two things. First, he should ask what he can take off Sister's desk, and the second is that he should volunteer to help me out with CARF. Both would go a long way in better securing his position. He needs to work through the point - basically, would they hire him to be director if something happened to Sr. or would they close us down and let go of all clients and staff. No doubt Rich would cost more money because he has to survive and Sister just takes out a bare stipend, but there's a lot more in-between, because Rich doesn't have the reputation of getting things done in time or spending as much time on things as possible.

I probably have the best reputation beside sister, but I get behind in so much that its kinda crazy. I brought home 3 files hoping to work through some back-up work this weekend, but then I get home and don't really want to work on it. It would be a very good deal thought if I can stop by lunch time and do some of that other. It will be good for me and good for Rich and Maury to know that I'm working hard. Both of them are hard workers too and I want them to be impressed with me as standing up with the big guys in contributing my fair share. Basically, at the very least if I don't have their full respect, I would like the opportunity to earn it.

The stuff I want to work on today is annual work with the last 3 clients. I have two annuals to write and three sets of goals and goals and objectives. Sure would be sweet going back in caught up. This is going to be one of my few weeks where I won't have a staffing so being caught up would allow me to get some CARF finished. That's what I should be doing with or without Robin. I'm starting to book her so much with Sister's help she's becoming useless for CARF ... If I could hand over the Performance Analysis report to Rich that would resolve one of the hardest things for CARF ... I could finish up with documentation and start writing out the reports and survey. That's what I've really got to be getting done. The performance analysis Sister doesn't really understand, but Rich could and he could get it done by October when they are going to want an advance copy sent in with our other paperwork prior to setting up our next survey.

Ok, so let's make that a goal. We should try to work on that AT the big computer by noon or at least after Rich comes back and finishes lunch. He wants to do something with me, because he's going to be leaving about 3 pm through 8 pm or so to be with his son Jon. They are going to see a movie and grab something to eat before Rich drops him off at the airport because he's going out to see a friend in New York. That will give me some good time to be working and it should be good in that Maury is going to try sleeping over here tonight ... He sais something about getting up about 10 am and so he might come over and do something here first with setting up his room, or it might be after 8 pm. I think his father is having some kind of party at 3 pm that he wants to be at. It sounds like Maury doesn't have the girls this weekend. I'm not sure what he did last night, but I know through FB that he was looking for something to do in keeping him out all night. *Sigh* He's living his second childhood :)

Watching the clock ... we still got about 15 minutes. Doing good. Rich talked about doing the bare necessity clothes before he has to go, but I think that if he has the quarters I can help out after he leaves.

Hehehe ... man that was tough! I just gave him a call and asked him to bring back quarters ... He was pushing that there wasn't anyplace he could get them - like they don't do that at the grocery store anymore. But, we were quick not to be put out ... if we've come this far to THINK we could be helping up and down stairs with laundry, then he shouldn't be discouraging that. So, we told him they have change machines at the laundry and we told him he should stop by there and see what he can get. He wanted to argue more, but again we press the point of there being only about 3 loads worth of clothes and there's no reason he should want to stop our determination if we're up to that level. I said we're helping out more and that we should continue this even if he's home.

He said then, "Yes ma'am." Both of us like to be right, but in this case I had the more positive track so it's best that I be right then him. Right? Having Maury in the house I believe is going to be a good thing for me, because it makes me feel more like a mother should feel in being able to take care of things in making the environment good for her family. I think for a long, long time we've been looking at ourselves as more helpless and for a while we were, but now we're talking my MOMDOM and I'm much more likely to sparkle there than I was in taking care of myself. Rich has been so capable I've not pressed hard that I could take more care of him than him. This week while he was gone, I got so much done, I don't want to lose sight of that.

I think the other thing that I'm going to need doing today is to clear up some hangers. I told him that we have clothes in the middle that I still have to go through. I think he would have avoided doing the extra laundry, but we're pretty set on wanting things to be nice here after so many years of letting things run down. Maybe that is going to mean breaking free even more time because I'd wanted to go through some extra work on the closet. Hmm, Rich sounds like he is home. Maybe he will take care of the laundry after all. I don't think it would be Maury coming in the back door.

Ok, let's not let ourselves go here. what should we do now. It's 11 o'clock ... we'll let him do the laundry as much as he can so we can do it later when he's gone, but then what should I be doing now as to cleaning or other. Should I do the clothes in the closet that need throwing, should I clean another cabinet in the kitchen, should I switch over to work work, or should I continue to write. Oh Lordy that's tough.

Ok, that's been pretty much decided. We got discombobulated. Rich came home with groceries and now he's cooking too many ribs in our little oven and we were both in each others way a little cuz I got stuff cleaned up and he wants to spread stuff out again like keeping receipts on the counter.

MAN that's not going to work ... I gave him a box on the new shelf system for his receipts, but he says he didn't get to save money from a coupon on the back of one of his receipts because it wasn't sitting on the counter where he could see it on the way out the door. Well MY new system is that we keep the counters cleaned-off so we can use them, but then that includes washing them off after you put a bloody meat container on them and he was like you are pushing me woman! Oh Lordy we shouldn't do some stuff together.

Fortunately the task got over pretty soon. I don't like the part where I'm around and he says get me this or get me that. I said WE came in the kitchen to clean a cupboard not to sit around and maybe get your tasks right or wrong or wait around to be told what to do. I said you take care of your stuff and I'll take care of mine. So basically, he finished up his kitchen stuff and went down to check the laundry and I threw away the scary stuff he'd pulled out of the fridge and I cleaned up an old medicine type cupboard.

Then he came back and said ... where's my mother's plastic dish. And, I said I threw the scary furry green stuff down the toilet, but the plastic was not redeemable so I threw it away. Well like that's a waste to him, but if there was any chance it would have been to go through the dishwasher and that wasn't going to be started again for another 3-4 days, so like no way am I keeping a cheap plastic container with hairy stuff around for that long and then go through horrors because I think that kind of stuff never comes off the container, but someone is going to use it again in a microwave and disperse all those scary things from it's surface.

Nope. Umm ... it's thrown away! *HMPF!!*

Ok, so ... with all that over we're back to the need to calm down stage. I think this is some part of the reason we didn't do stuff with him around ... he's too hard on our system. We had all those years where stuff was too hard for us psychologically and physically, and now we had such a great week where we could move on both accounts, and now we feel scared so much we need to come back to the computer to calm down again. I know part of this is that we switch parts, but I'd like to figure it out so that we can get past it.

I think we're switching up our time scale though in that ... Rich said that lunch/dinner will be around 12:30 pm. He's got to switch up a load of clothes in there somewhere, but he's out looking at his gas mileage and I'm back here on the computer with my air on and listening to CNN in the background. I'm hungry now and tend to eat like a can of something when I get this way, but he's like we need a proper meal.

There took care of that ... we went and got a couple of peanut butter tortillas and the last of the hot coffee. That's enough so I won't be hungry, but too it won't fill me up. Chances are I won't eat a lot of ribs at lunch. It's usually not my big meal, but then I'll have leftovers for dinner before Rich and Maury get here. I like the part there's good stuff to eat when I get hungry. I hate being hungry and waiting for food. Man ... that's so tough for me. Rich seems to like building up his appetite ... I guess we just don't have that kind of tummy patience. But, then again I won't eat so much at a meal where Rich will overeat. I guess we each have our ins and outs.

Hmm, phone! I'm thinking that it's Bob because he's talking about something to read and Rich had gave him a magazine ... yup for sure now because he's talking of his someone as being a strong woman. I said to invite him over for lunch, but I got shushed. He's right in back of me ... I guess I didn't see that cuz he was quiet. Just he's on the balcony side of the screen door and I'm on the living room/couch side.

That's kind of a big deal happening right now. Rich's friend Bob's Mom is dying. She's been in intensive care with double pneumonia this week and I think maybe it's part of pneumonia, but she's now eating something, but as she eats or other maybe I think her lungs are filling up with fluid. They've taken her off of life support and now after this last call just now it sounds like they are taking her off some of the medicine that has been helping her too. It's hard to understand because it's like it just shouldn't be like they should able to be doing something, but stuff is coming to a stop from her.

I guess when they took her off the breathing she's coming in and out of awareness, but she was pretty tough on one of the girls by going over something from the past that's still between them. I think the Mom was part of calling on DCFS for something the daughter had done with her own kids. It's impossible to call that one as to who'd done what right or wrong or whichever combination, but I guess it was still pretty hard on the sister and she left saying she'd never come back and then Bob was trying to intercede a bit, but too I think he knows that sometimes females or relationships are like that.

I think that certain hard things like making that final decision to pull the plug have been left up to him. On the surface he's probably smoother with it then not. Rich has left himself available for Bob whenever he's in need and then just as we were getting home last night Bob called wanting to know if Rich and us wanted to grab something to eat. We had been thinking of going out for fireworks and maybe getting some ice cream, so we got some ice cream while we watched Bob eat dinner at one of his favorite places in town.

I liked it in that it gave us a chance to be around Bob and hope that we could be some help. He talked somewhat of the situation, and we asked questions, but a good part of that was in trying for us to understand the situation for his Mom and for Bob and what his family is going through. Bob is very calm like going through his mind well, she'll die, and then we'll have the funeral and then we'll go fishing ... But, after when Rich and us talked neither of us felt it was going to be that simple for him. As to the literal plans ... I think Rich said with this last call that he probably wasn't going to Pool 10 this weekend with the guys.

I know Rich had said something over this last couple days that if Bob didn't go, that he might stay back to to watch over him, especially if there was going to be a funeral. I really love that about Rich that he would think of Bob's needs before his own - no matter how important fishing is for the both of them. This is something that is going to happen and you just gotta be there and see it through.

I think this was a surprise for everyone. It seems like the mother might have made it if she'd gone it when this business started, but she waited until it was too late. I see that stubbornness in others like Rich and his mom and even us or Sr. Theresa. It's just the worst thing when people won't allow themselves some care taking - especially when there are literal problems.

Hmm, now it's after we're done folding the first load of clothes. I think Rich is talking to his daughter now from the sounds of it. I'd been using the washroom and putting away stuff. It's just that he's talking about divorce stuff again. The girl pushes Rich as to what she thinks is his responsibilities. I wouldn't like my kids this involved, but Rich's family is different. They've set it up so that husband and wife only talk through kids. I know I've said that before. Ok, we're not going anywhere there. Just I don't feel Rich is getting his kids support ... seems like they're all saying the same thing ... you gotta take care of mom ... repeat, repeat. She's like controlling everything while saying all along how helpless she is.

Rich is going into work tomorrow knowing 95% of the chance is that he isn't going to be laid off. He's hoping for vacation and severance pay, but that's wishing on a star. He's very adamant of paying the ex what he's committed to no matter what. My way of looking at that is that he'll pay here everything off the top, but even at that I can hear the daughter suggesting he shouldn't be fishing because that's spending "the Mom's money share." I don't know if she's really saying that ... it's just how I'm figuring it.

It's hard to listen to. I'm trying actively not just gets me upset to think of Rich being so taken advantage of. No one's asking if he's ok.

Ok we're going to move on ... it's smelling really good around here. Maybe it was a good idea to be calm about Rich making what makes him happy. He said as much as he loves his mom's breaded chops, he wanted ribs and corn for his 4th. That is what he's now got. He's in there fixing stuff and it's now 10 minutes after he said it would be done. I don't know if we'll have to fold another load of clothes before we eat, but let me repeat ... it's smelling pretty good. I feel sometimes like I'm the most specialist princess! Maybe I better go check out those good smells?

Pswhoo ... That's all done ... it's almost 2 pm now. Rich is here for a little bit longer. His son is going out to dinner with the friends he visiting so then Rich got bumped and the son said he didn't want to go out to a movie. I think he's not being nice to Rich. But, then maybe his priority wasn't to see his father as much as to see his friends even though its been a couple of months. Rich seemed a little hurt. And you know how we feel about that! He said something about only being a Dad. Grrr...

Anyway ... we're being quiet cuz he's working on something for his divorce. About everyone and his brother called today to push him on one thing or another ... We're being VERY quiet and we let him turn on baseball without complaint even though it meant no CNN ... some of these are regular sacrifices. I know that if Maury is home he's going to rather watch baseball too rather than CNN. Just that's hard for me. I almost got the remote back, but then Rich saw it over on this side and his mind must have said, no no no ... giving Ann remote is a bad idea! *Hmpf!*

We did some more clothes the last time up with Rich. We got two loads done and might do the third shortly, and THEN because Rich will be late in going out we'll probably get a few more done. He'd asked me before ... you don't REALLY want to do clothes after I'm gone? And, we were up doing dishes after lunch and we'd cleaned out that middle part of the closet and we'd thrown clothes and collected hangers and stuff. And we remember looking in Rich's eyes and shaking our head saying ... no we don't REALLY want to do the clothes when he is gone. He said that's what I thought ... it's ok. You've done a lot.

We're very grateful he's taking this spur of energy as well as he is, but we said well we'd like to say that we could do more around the house, but ... he looked at us smiling and he said and I WOULD like you to do more around the house. At that point we thought maybe we would pass out. Because its one things doing stuff cuz you think it might be a good idea, and its another thing if someone is counting on you and it becomes WORK! That be a TERRIBLE idea!

Hmm, now we're just coming up from a nap AND folding the white load. If push come to shove I'd have to let it be known that that's my favorite load of clothes. Most of it is between the big white towels, rich's white t-shirts and my white socks. It's like my specialty load. This time when I went to put away all the stuff there was enough room for everything so that was kinda cool, because it was like filling up your specialty places cleaned up just for taking care of these things.

Rich hasn't talked to me for a while since before the nap really. It was probably short like 15-20 minutes. My tummy was pretty full. Rich is so busy with his tasks and he says ... well he says it in a nice way, but I know I'm not supposed to talk to him. So we arranged the fish he'd pushed around all by ourselves and we're moving on with things ourselves. He's still got the White Sox game on and it's now 2 to 4. They also said the Cubs are losing to Milwaukee 7-1. That's not so good.

I don't know if I said it or not, but we got the closet part done too. I'm not so happy with Rich though there! He was throwing away perfectly good hangers that I'd cleared. I guess from all his years going to the cleaners and getting more hangers he's used to throwing them away, but I'm not used to that ... PLUS we told him we had more new old clothes to hang. He let me have my way and take out the hangers I wanted, but I know he's pretty sneaky and will probably throw the extra's away the next time I'm not looking. Hehehe that must be providence because the newscaster guy just said that's a hanger ... then he said it was a hanging curve ball. Well, it sorta seems like providence.

So here we are on a nice quiet day and we're feeling like no one is paying attention to us. Well, of course there WAS some attention paid last night! WOOHOO!!! Fireworks!!! Ok, we're going show some reserve here, but it has been kinda floaty around my mind all day ... keep thinking ... that was soooo nice!

He sure is working hard over there. He's not wearing his friendly face though so its best I don't say anything. Hmm, that's a good sign he's tiring out. He's starting to sneak looks at the TV. That's a good idea.

It sure was nice of our fishyman to get home though there was the Bob's Mom thing happening for them most of Friday. He said that he had had to drop Bob off at the hospital. I think he got some grief, because the family couldn't get a hold of him up at the cabins where they were staying. I felt kinda bad for him for that. I knew that Rich's phone wasn't connecting either, but I had known the website for the camp and I knew I could get a hold of them if I needed too. Just that's not the kinda thing you know. The only chance I could have been helpful is if they asked Marsha and Marsha would know that I knew for the sake of finding Rich.

That was kinda strange ... when we were with Bob yesterday and the restaurant, he said that my Mom had remembered me and she wanted Bob to tell me that I was a very nice sweet girl. I was like REALLY? I'm the last thing a person should be thinking of even as a passing thought when she was busy dying. I can't tell you how bad I feel about that for her, Bob and the family. It is nice to know even with our brief contact that we left a good impression. I imagine that Marsha will be spending some of Bob's time with her. But, I don't think her Mom would like to hear her talk so much. She would be there more to support Bob.

I think each of the kids and there is like 4-5 are taking turns being with her. I think the Father comes and goes where he can. He seems to want to be there a lot naturally, but sometimes the kids shoo him away.

We're back now ... we've been puttying around some more. It's about 4:15 pm. Rich has been gone for about 45 minutes, we've got CNN back on, we've got a glass of grapefruit juice and we folded/hung the last two loads of laundry - BY OUR SELVES!!! That was pretty cool, and we emptied out the dishwasher too. Thadda girl!

Hmm, just got off the phone with Maury ... he's a little excitable. He had had a confrontation with Joe ... I don't think much of one, because while we were talking he was already smoothing it out with Joe. Basically, the problem had been that Joe and Cari are moving to their new place somewhere between the 24th or 27th of July and after measuring everything out they've discovered they don't really have room for everything ... especially the dining room table.

This is about where Maury stepped in. Everyone knows that this particular table is Thom's table. It is a beauty of a table. It's ALL Glass and big enough for about 8 people. I believe it has about that many chairs as well. Maury was going up one side and down another about Joe saying he and Cari had talked and that they were going to sell Thom's table. To Maury - it's like part of Thom's remaining legacy. Maury is moving out of his house so can't take it and it would be a bear to store, but he was like sounding like he would lay his life down to protect this table.

Somewhere in his bedlam I thought of him moving here and I said I don't want to push this idea, but would my dining area be big enough for the table? Then I was thinking out loud because it is sooo hard for me to let go of anything. I love my kitchen table even if it's kinda broken right now. The top part isn't connecting somehow so it teeters a bit if you lean on it. You really have to press on it and Rich SAYS he's going to fix it, but its still not in its prime.

The part about it that I love so much is that I had gotten the table right after the homeless shelter when I was living in the Winona government apartments. It was Christmas Eve and I was worried I think about the boys coming for a visit after Christmas and so I'd gone to this really big local furniture store. I only had $200 to spend on a table and I felt terrible walking into the store with that little money. But, the guy who owned the place had the biggest heart I'd ever seen. I think I rambled out my story of losing my house, and the bankruptcy and the kids and the government housing etc, but one way or another he said he had just the table for me and he hoped I might like it.

We walked up to the second floor and there was all this furniture and it was very beautiful and I can't explain my feelings of hope that somehow I could leave this place with something for me and for the boys visit. It seemed a terrible thing not to have a table in your kitchen to even serve a cold bowl of cereal. The guy lead me to the table I have now. It was the most beautiful table. It has a middle leaf so it expands to fit 6 people and he through in four chairs - farm style and said it was $200. Then he explained this beautiful top - I hadn't caught it, but it had a big mar on it ... it was like who the hell cares!!! Well it was about that way ... I just wanted to believe that I was going to walk out of here with that table. But it was a BIG table for an old grand am.

Then the guy said that he'd meet me at home and that a couple of his guys would deliver it. Man oh man ... One day I think God will bless this guy. He'd really come through in one of my most neediest moments. I've been so proud of having that table all these years. It's been about 12 years now. So basically, I really don't want to get rid of the table. I thought though when I offered Maury the sport for the glass table that something might come up so that I could do the switch until someone else could take the big glass table. I'm sure I'm going to love it to pieces and not want to give it up, but then I'm like, Maury, Alex, Bob or even Joe. Basically, it is Thom's table.

Maury liked the idea of it coming here a lot. I asked again would it fit? He said that he'd get measurements for the table and that we would see. It's a fairly big dining room for an apartment, but it's also a walk through area to the back door from the actual kitchen. Frankly if it does fit I'd be really happy to have a table that would hold 8. Maybe with Maury here Rich and I could have he, his two girls, Joe, Cari and Alex over more often. Maybe they could even play poker here though that be hard, because its such a staple over at their Dads. BUT, it sure be fun to have Rich playing poker with the guys. He'd have such a great time.

I hope it's going to be ok with Rich. This is IF it fits. Rich is going to be around here I think a little more until things settle with him for his job. A big table would be good for him to work at although we seem to have made an impression that we're certainly not going to want all those bills out and around at the table and on the chair next to it if Maury's here. I hated that stack of stuff that would not go away. In general, I hate clutter and I like it when everything has its own place and is put away.

Rich doesn't necessarily like my table as much as I do. Part of the problem there is that he feels guilty, because he's the one that BROKE my table in the first place. It happened 9 years ago. To cut a dicey story short ... no the table was not strong enough to make love on. Ok, enough said there.

But, we're thinking as much as I love that open space I just made in the bedroom, maybe we could collapse the table so its small again - a round circle, and then we could put it in the middle of the bedroom free space. I don't know if we'd keep all four chairs around it too, but maybe we could keep a couple, put one in the living room, maybe get rid of Maury's two from the farm, and then leave TWO in the bedroom. We could also make an executive decision to get rid of the chair that's been serving us so well.

Basically, it's an old office chair - a black like-leather chair. It was broken though - the back part - so eventually Rich got a new black chair that never got fixed - as to having arms, but the old chair - we had him take off the back and it's served as a roll around stool when we are doing things in the bedroom. It looks pretty terrible because it still has the metal hinges that show it to obviously be a broken chair. I usually sit in the chair when I'm folding clothes. But, even today I was having a fit in there, because the bed is made, but Rich is still processing the dirty clothes on top of the bed and that meant there was no room to be folding the clean clothes. I didn't complain long, but I did take the clothes out to the living room to fold.

Rich could use the extra table in there in case he wanted to privately do some computer or bill work in there while he was watching TV and getting away from Maury and me, or I could use it when we're folding clothes. I always had a clothes folding table in my room I'd used as the family closet. I loved it! It's just going to be tough to convince Rich not to get it cluttered. It would have to be a transition space for stuff. We might also want a small table cloth on it because we'd want it to look nice enough to be in our bedroom.

As to the other table, We'd have to keep the area cleaner at the back of the dining room area. It seems like it ends up being a staging area sometimes for things like garbage going up or down the back stairs. At the end of the room is a taller double set of windows. Under the windows is the back of the house air conditioner and then there is lace curtains over all that. I've got my cloth linen calendar pictures on either side of the walls. That could come or go with no trouble from me. It's just that it's a left over from my childhood, and in my adulthood, I haven't pulled together a collection of anything better or big enough to fit the two big walls.

Hmm, that might be something to think of. Maybe Rich or Maury would have some ideas. I wouldn't mind continuing family pictures, but there just isn't enough of them. I've got the boys filling the hallways and I should be using the opposite side of the hallway for the granddaughters pictures. I still want Rich's and my pictures in the living room and bedroom, but if they wouldn't fit ... we'd at least get Rich's up and then maybe we could use MY old pictures for the kitchen? I don't know. Maybe for one wall and then both walls of calendars could get condensed to one for a while. Hmm, that's an idea too! My sister's QUILT!!!!

AHA! Now we got something! I think it's a very big quilt, but it's a very big wall. We could put it on the one between the dining room and Maury's room. That way you could see it coming in the door and it would if we had the table empty - it would reflect on that like a reflecting pool! The quilt is absolutely gorgeous and be something I'd be very proud to hang. It be hard to hang, but maybe she or someone would have an idea. It's bigger than the tree in the bedroom and the map in the living room. Because the wall doesn't have anything against it except perhaps a chair when pulled back - there's more chance that the blanket would fit floor to ceiling. I think it's a big enough blanket to cover a queen size bed.

I think too it would add more elegance to the room as a table of that caliber would lend. Wow! Really good idea. I placed a call to CS. She didn't answer, but when she does answer, I will implore her to finish the quilt so we could give it a try. I really like the idea of setting up that back room so we could use it more comfortably - me, all of us, or Maury and Rich and or their friends. They still have another little private space out on the balcony with the bistro, but I'm still imagining Rich bringing over Bob or his kid or something ... and man oh man ... wouldn't the boys love meeting Bob and playing cards against them. They'd all be after each other for big bucks.

Oh man oh man ... I'm just so excited. I could stay out here in the living room and listen to the hooting and hollering. I know that's one of the reasons that they got that big glass table - was to play cards. It's a really good idea. Maybe one day some year too ... Rich could invite his son and we could all interact - chances are it would be a lot easier over a game of cards than not. I could say one thing for sure now ... it would be a lot easier getting to know Chris with Maury or his brothers around. A lot more for Chris to pay attention to and much less chance of him refusing our better company. Sure would be fun though to see that big table filled up.

I sure hope it's going to fit. We'll have to get out the boxes, bags going to the cleaners, and the old rocking chair along with the boxes for dining room dishes and the kitty box that somehow got bumped from the downstairs area. I think somehow Rich is filling up that space even though we wanted to get Maury to check on that air conditioner so he could cool his room with the door shut and salvage his privacy.

I was a little defensive in listening to him plan the rest of his day. I had called him around 11 am and he didn't have any real solid plans, just to be at his dads at 3 pm and to stop at Walmart. He may have stopped at Walmart, but it turned out his Dad's thing started at about 1 pm so he's been there all day with family and friends. When he'd called Joe and Cari were just leaving and his grandmother and Aunt Mary Fran were just getting in. So he said he'd stop by in a couple hours, but it might take awhile.

He said they'd do a few things - between him and Alex like he's going to take down the treadmill. I think he has some sheets and some more deodorizers and he's going to bring some clothes I believe. But, then he said he wasn't going to stay long and that he wouldn't be back until very late, but that he would be sleeping here tonight.

For the time being ... well I guess for a long time and probably a longer time to go, we've had problems with the boys enjoying their time over at their dads so much more than here. Maury said again this time that it wasn't anything in particular, but he did like the area out there in the western suburbs. He said the part about it being so close to work was nice here, in that he could actually walk or ride his bike, but in general his socializing is all going to continue being out there. I get the feeling that he'll be at his Dad's house maybe even more in that he'll need a place to hang out when he's hanging out toward Villa Park, but that when he's all old and used for the day ... he'll crash here. I think he's been making a point of sleeping only 4-6 hour a day - on a good day!

Man oh man how did we turn so cranky? This is the bad Mom sneaking out again. I know that the way we are looking forward to Maury being here is different than how he might be looking forward. I think he feels very out of sync out here. We're only 25 minutes from his Dad's place, but one might think we were at the other end of the world. I think the best idea is to get a couple decks of cards and some poker chips. Hmm, maybe guys play with quarters and not chips ... let me see how that works out.

Hmm, we sent an order out ... we gotta see if the credit card holds out. I'm not going to say how much, but it sounds something like the cost of a small fridge. Ok, let's not say that again out loud. They suggested that when playing tournaments you have 75-100 chips per person ... and our idea is that we got an 8 people table and that maybe if they were good games Rich or Bob would bring a few other friends as might the guys. So just to make sure I got two sets of 500. They came in sets of aluminum cases with 500 chips each and two decks of cards. I think it's suggested to have 150 - $1's, 150 - $5's, 100 - $10's, 50 - $50, and 50 - $100's. There were other numbers, but I thought it a better idea to keep the numbers down. I know the boys used to talk about going to their father with all their coins, but if they played for chips and not coins they could win bragging rights without some cut out because they don't want to lose money. I think the draw to play the game is enough to keep them going.

I KNOW Rich likes to play and I KNOW Maury does ... and there are the other guys AND I KNOW Bob to play. If we can have this as a Rich or Maury hosting or them as a combination then we given them a means to interact with each other and develop a relationship. Then maybe too on some nights when both Maury and Rich are working late on Friday ... they could have friends here by like 8 pm and they'd both be at the game already. I'm looking for girl friendly games too. I'd like to see Alexis come over and Cari - and maybe even Alex' Sarah. I don't know what she does with her time, but if she were to come over it be cool. I think a lot though that Alex goes with the guys and she goes with the girls. *Sigh*

I really hope now that we do good with getting the card table. I still think we'd have to make it a non-smoking party. I think the only one that might have a problem is Bob with his cigar, but he could smoke out on the balcony. I think he'd like that a lot. I was really hoping we could get him over this weekend.

Hmm, I did take kinda a big risk here, but maybe I can explain to Rich that I would be interested in this being my birthday present. Yes ... we're there! I would be very, very happy to give half my present to Maury, and half my present to Rich ... and then they'd have to work together to build a big table!!! Oh man oh man ... am I crazy? Could we get by with this?

Wow that's a weird stray thought. If this became Maury's or Rich's game, what are the possibilities that Maury's Dad would come over to play. Oh Man ... that's too big a jump to make. Let's keep it simple. We DON'T have THAT big and fancy enough of a place, but I suppose it would be fair to consider that Pat and Nick Chris' kids might come over. And, then ... we'd have to worry ... would Chris then come over? I think in some respect, we live closer to them then they live to Maury's, but I can't imagine all of them getting together without Maury. The idea though is to establish a place where the guys could come to "Maury's" too. I think already they have been used to going to his house and I'd like him to have that available to him - to bring his friends and family here.

He said something on the phone about moving the table and not knowing even if the next place was going to be big enough. It wouldn't hurt too much if our place was big enough and we got to keep Thom's table until he wanted it back. The whole thing just goes round and round about having something here that is inviting to the guys. Maury ended up I heard last night playing cards at a casino by himself. I can't believe we can't provide a space here that's also inviting. Maybe not exciting like that, but some place.

I didn't know what Maury was going to do with the tread mill, but I guess by tonight he'd made another decision than he had earlier this week. He wasn't interested in keeping it. I don't know if he wants something else in its place, or if he just wants more of his bedroom without the "deadbeat machine." He thought secondarily he should ask ... you aren't REAL tied to it are you? No, no ... not really. Just my normal tension for losing something I might want later, but would never be able to replace. Yeah, I know when would I want to start using the machine?

Hmm, watching the old President of Honduras trying to land back in his country ... doesn't look like he's being real supported by the soldiers. It's bad auditory though so we'll have to wait and see how it gets translated out. It's tough to listen to. Yeeks!

Ok, maybe back to my own thoughts ... maybe have to turn that out. I think that Maury could be here whenever and might be here late, leave, and then come in later. Are we back? Hmm, seems like there is going to be no landing here. They placed military vehicles on the run way so they couldn't land. There are rioters and they are saying if he could he would jump out of the plane ... WITH a parachute of course.

Hmm, should I eat again? I don't think so ... maybe that be too much. It's 6:30 pm or so though. Maybe I could just eat an ear of corn ... that be ok, right?

Ok, that's done ... I feel better with the news too we're back to talk of Michael Jackson. They've got his defense attorney form the child abuse trial and they've got Jessy Jackson both being interviewed by Don Lemon. These are very positive people toward his being. The CNN channel with other news media got some bashing by Al Sharpton today so I'm not sure if they aren't just being gun shy. I will be disappointed if they just view the one "good" side of Jackson. He was multi-dimensional and some of that included drugs and other pressures, but I think this has to be said too because it was a part of HIS package.

I hear arguments about not going into it until after the tributes, but then will that be too soon, and so on. There's no doubt of his importance in history, but to say he was able to climb those heights without regress ... that be against the facts of history. He became his own worst enemy and chose to look toward opulence each time he had available to do good ... that he showed his opulence to some who were needy does not make them his friend. Ride this ferris wheel then go back to your poverty ... what kind of message was that.

Shoot where are we coming from here. I didn't know that we'd developed negativism. Maybe that's just because we're ancy. In the past we've always been a little strange in waiting for Rich to come home, but now there is getting used to Rich AND Maury. That's pretty overwhelming. I hope they get in before I need to go to sleep. I'd like to do some enjoying of them time and I would like to see time where they are both here together lounging ... maybe that won't happen today, but soon enough. They are both going to need letting the other know that they are ok. There's been hard played worry about two men sharing the same washroom ... I mean isn't the washroom like the king of the house like.

Rich and I've been discussing where we're going to leave his fishying trophy. I like it on the side of the sink and he likes it on the toilet, but like kitties marking their spot ... I think that's more powerful a mark than Maury should have to be facing.

Hmm, Man in the Mirror, they are going to rerun the special. We saw this earlier this week, but it's normal for CNN to play things over again during the weekend. I don't mind this at all. I am enjoying his music this week. I would like to see some knew images ... These images are getting ingrained into my brain ... so they become the norm. Hmm, kitty is sitting here now too. He's being polite on the arm of the couch. I close the curtain some to keep out the direct late afternoon setting sun. It's always bright. There's something very nice about letting go of the heat for the cool, but then again there is then a shutting out of the day and acknowledging the privacy of night soon to be upon us.

It's going to be ok, right? I might have to take my medicine a little early tonight. I'm not even close to thinking about going back to work tomorrow. I know that it will have to happen of course. It's just that between some of the other tasks and writing, I just couldn't make myself do it. I think that's going to be a hall mark in my life ... that I don't get it together - the goals I have in mind for myself on any given day or week.

Ok, we're starting to be down a bit. Is this part of the stress of this day just not happening. Do you remember the old days when you were a kid and you'd cleaned your room and the house was good and the goodies were waiting in the fridge, yet you couldn't get dirty because company had not yet gotten there? That's about how it is for me right now ... I feel there is company not yet received. I'm still verging on thoughts that this isn't going to happen and that Maury really isn't going to be here.

I'm not sure why all the thoughts built up toward it. It's a pretty big deal. I think we were here trying to figure it out before too. Is it just a Mom deal?

It's kinda funny ... we went through a mom deal with Rich and his mom last night. Bud, his brother and I did. I remember asking Rich to just stop, but he wouldn't do it ... he was pretty engaged, and after talking to him on the way home, I couldn't make him see - although I was being careful not to use so many words, but

Hmm, Maury and Alex are here. Maury rang the bell, but I think that was more so I didn't get surprised. Cat ran fast! They came in with a couple of bags that might have looked like a couple of sandwiches. Hmm, deodorizers ... maybe then sheets too. The two just came in giggling. Maury brought with him another deodorizer. He put it on the center of my table ... and I was like oh no ... that's not going there ... you can't make me believe that's a centerpiece ... so then he arranged Rich's fish to swim out from the deodorizer. Well yeah that's going to change as soon as we get up. I will put it closer to the door. I'm so used to the smells around here that it's hard to get into someone else fretting. Yeeks!

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Ann Ludford Garvey

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The big sleepy kitty's name is Emelia. She's our new computer kitty to match the love of our new computer friends. Think you could get her to play? Sometimes she will whisper secrets in your ear! She's ticklish.

The two cozy black kitties live with us and run the household. They're names are Missy & Chief, or just Mischief.

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This is my friend V. He's learning to take better care of himself, cuz he scared all of us and needs to get better ... Neither of us and T smoke any more

This is Deb. She's way up high as loved, cuz she's my forever friend! She works hard to keep us straightened out!

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: Name: Ann Marie; Location: Sandwich (Chicago), Illinois, United States

Hi, we're Ann and all (Aynetal3). We are 58-years and am a Multiple. We have three adult sons and their families and am in a 23-year relationship with our best friend Rich. We have in our home Dakota, our 5-year old collie/golden retriever service dog, and Missy our 19-year old black kitty. Oh, and we keep our psychiatrist Dr. Marvin in business ;) We had been studying at a Master's level Educational Psychology and Adult Education - e-learning, technology and design. We enjoy a strong interest in Self-Regulation and Multiplicity/Dissociation (DID, but w/o so much disorder). We do a lot of curating through reading and writing, and we utilize Word, Mindmapping, Evernote, a few favorite books, and social media (Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Speakerdeck, and Learnist). We believe in the power of the BLOG and "all of our" ability to validate People, especially through sharing conversation, video, and art/images.

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Friday, July 24, 2009

Ok, and then We're goin fishin!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Just a tickle

Saturday, July 18, 2009

It's the BIG 5-0 BD Girl!

Umm, Sometime earlier this week ...

Monday, July 13, 2009

Drew a Partial Blank at Work :(

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

A day producing a lot of Changes

Monday, July 06, 2009

It's a whole new life this morning

Good morning like the old days

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Monday, July 27, 2009

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