Oh man oh man one SWEET surprise!
Good morning … this is me. I’m not sure what day I wrote last … the days are hard to keep when Sweetie and us wake up too near the time to get ready. This officially is our last morning for the next 8 days. And, there is so much excitement in the air because fishyman is doing the big fishyman thing. Today is the day he leaves for Canada. He’ll leave about the time I am and he’ll be traveling north with 3 other guys and they’ll make it to International Falls, MN by tonight. All 4 will take turns driving so they don’t get tired out. It’s a pretty big deal.
Sweetie Pie took about a half hour of back rubs this morning before he got up. He was letting them soak in good. Now he is doing some last minute fussy stuff. He’s got his coffee, but he hasn’t taken his shower yet. He said, why don’t you go spend a few moments with the computer … and its like ok, ok … we can do that! That lets us write about him!
Something very, very big happened last night. He had his list of stuff to be doing yesterday and he worked on it throughout … I came in at the part where after Dr. Marvin’s appointment, Rich and us would meet here and we would go out for our “traditional” pancake place dinner. It was pretty good, but about the worst wait staff I’d ever seen. There were a bunch of kids running the IHOP place without any apparent manager … that was a not good part … they were screwing around in plain site and it was really dumb of a place to let that happen. Most unprofessional award! But, then the food was ok, and we were soon on to the next thing on his list. We went to Dominick’s to pick up a few things. There was some good people watching there. Rich was getting bombarded with a lot of calls mostly from family that wanted to see him off proper. So, we waited out the time and things were moving at their own pace. After he got out of the jewels the last stop was at Walgreen’s because he needed to pick up his medicine and he wanted to get a flashlight for here and on the trip.
This is where the exciting part came in. We were at the parking lot in front of the door and he was talking to his mother on the phone. She was worrying a lot … because I think it must be hard on her when he leaves too. But, I remember just the part where we turned around and like gleaming into the window was a face I would know anywhere … Bob!!! Of all things … we had come randomly to the Walgreen’s at the same time he came and we happened to park next to each other and even though the back of our Scion has tinted windows … he saw Rich and obviously he knew I’d be the mystery person. It was like oh my God oh man, oh man. Our window was only open about 4 inches and we immediately were struggling to hear him and to roll down the window and get the door unlocked, because the first thing we thought was that we were going to give him a great big hug – especially since *giggle* our sweetie pie was still on the phone with his mother. I had glanced over and by the blush on his face I knew that in a heartbeat this was the guy and that Rich’s world had just come together and that he was backpaddling. I think there must have been a certain excitement, embarrassment and flutter in all this happening in an instant of time.
He couldn’t be taking care of Bob and us … who were doing just fine because he was wrapped up *Gigglin to pieces*
I don’t remember everything Bob and us said to each other those first few moments, but I knew I was wearing my 10 foot smile and I remember his first words were that he was going to be taking care of Rich. That meant a whole lot. Bob and I were doing this funny thing I think we were both looking pretty excited and fluttered.
His face was so intense, alert and alive. The things he must process! I think he must be a detail person … I remember now asking if he were about ready for the trip. He said that he was ready the week before hehehe. I tell ya just like a couple big kids. I can’t think straight here to get it down proper. We’ll need to review this area again throughout the week. But, it was like our speech or his were too slow to keep up with the intensity of eye to eye conversation. I think he must have thought of our privacy or his needing a break from it or something, I remember now that he formally introduced himself and me to him, but pretty quick Sweetie was off the phone and now I’ve lost that too, but somehow I think the guys switched the conversation over to the trip like Bob passed on that he’d come up for ice and Rich had just collected the pop and they both disappeared inside the store, but maybe they went their different ways, because they both came out at separate times with Bob a few minutes earlier than Rich.
There were a few minutes of pressured speech. He came out saying that Rich had given him directions to get the stuff in the back and we invited him to help himself. I was afraid of the impression of my size when we’d first got out of the car to hug him and then later of the impression the wheel chair must have made. I’m sure it affected his thoughts, but he was very nice. I told him after he settled back by the car after getting the cooler set up that one thing I wanted him to know for sure was that we’d been with Rich for 14 years. I think that will help him through some initial thoughts … it helps to put things in perspective. I wanted him to know that we’d been around for a long time and was not just some passer bye. I might have said a few other things. I remember him asking where did we leave so I knew that was a pressing thought. I told him at 4605 and then I remember him asking which street. He let that settle into his mind. He told me that he’d said to Rich that we could go together out to eat and then we told him that after we got done cleaning the house, we kept asking if couldn’t Bob come over now. Hehehe but I think that Rich had to hold the keys.
We told Rich later it was providence that after 7 years in Brookfield that we would all meet up at Walgreens both getting ready for the big fishing trip. If either one of us had parked any other place in the parking lot, we might not have ever met.
Surely, this was God inspired. Oh there was another piece of the conversation I missed. I told Bob that if Rich seemed to be confused that he liked to be licked in the ear. LOL I’m so bad. But, the delight in finally meeting Bob was toppling over the edges. What else there are other things. Oh, I remember him asking if we were nice to Rich and we said yes that we try to be anyway, and then there was a second where he said something about calling him at 6 am and how slow he was in getting ready and then we apologized by saying that see that was the problem about that time we were giving him his back massages. I know he said that now he was going to be jealous, but I think he was saying that to be nice …
Ok, ok … that’s all for this second, because Sweetie Pie is ready for our last half hour. He is showered and dressed. We’ll for sure carry on again with this in a bit! Oh Man did that all make us happy though. O man o man!
Few Tuesday morning notes
Good morning … it is me. We’re trying to be up … we just remembered that we had to send in a final paper, I’m not sure if it will be ok this morning instead of yesterday. Dr. Kostere went the extra mile for us and said to hand in anything basically and she would give us credit and not an F. This was the social psychology class I had written a partial final paper for and I had got 100% on all my courseware for 10 weeks. She said that we were a good student, but I didn’t feel like it. I know she’s trying to help me if I were to ever go back. I don’t think it will happen, but I appreciate her giving me this much good faith. So we’ll do a little God Bless first thing this morning.
Sweetie is still in bed and we’re giving ourselves an additional 10 minutes before we need to jump in the shower. Plus, we get to sip on our coffee for this same time. WOOHOOO. We try to be much better in and out of the shower because we know there are two of us that need to get through it, but sometimes we are pushing the edge. I miss my morning time of waking up early to write. Last night we got to bed about 9:30 pm. We took our medicine late so that didn’t help. We need to be more on top of it than that.
Yesterday we had a pretty good day at work considering it was our first Monday back for quite a while. Neither sister or us made a big deal about it so that helped.
She was short-handed … so any little bit helped. I covered the front end for a few minutes … it wasn’t real hard and pushed me to be moving forward. I brought with me my scheduling journal and a stack of papers that were either in the book already or not. I hadn’t used the scheduler for about a month since CARF was here so it was a good thing for me to catch-up.
There are just into 4 pages worth of notes. Most notes take 2-3 lines, and then we skip a line between each … I guess there would be then about 15 entries a page … and less if we were going to write out much directions for the entry. The big deal thing is that we put colored dots across from the entry as we note its sense of urgency. Red dot for hot, orange for 1-3 days, yellow for 1-5 days, blue for 2 weeks, and green for a month or more. Then when we complete the item, we post a black dot on the line.
Whoops, shower … hold on.
Good good … one of us is up showered and dressed. We woke Sweetie Pie up 5 minutes ago and he’s standing up motorally, but I can’t vouch for how up he is. Caught between a rock and a hard place. He was up past 11, but needs to be downtown for an 8:30 am meeting. Ahhh that’s our boy … the shower is running!
Ok, just to finish up here before he gets out … we were using our journal system again … and by the time all the dots were down we were feeling better, because we could appreciate that although about 10 things had a hot red dot, the others did not. So then the items that had a hot dot, we wrote them out on a 3x5 card. I know this sound extra and probably is, but for now it’s the system we are most comfortable with. We scheduled the cards then throughout the day, which gave us the time we needed to think through … this is a 10 minute item, this is a half hour, etc. We did the important parts on time … but we fell through on our single hardest task for the moment which is writing the annual report. That got off the mark, because our friend came in and gave us an important project to him that he wanted me to take over as part of our working for him. We will be doing his case reviews. So … that took a little time. But, then we were feeling guilty so got back on schedule. We stayed 2 ½ hours overtime, so we’re pretty sure that made up for the missing time and gave us the quiet time we needed to work.
Besides that one critical task, we completed, or at least progressed all of the other red dots that were also very important to progress. That gave us a very good sense of accomplishment. Sister had typed out over the weekend a page of tasks to do or consider and we had worked that into our system, but some of them were unsettling to us. We are really against giving away just half of the case load … we want to give it all away. And, now I’m thinking that she might have told Holly the same … so there will be no other way around it. The woman will be maxed. We’ll find out today whether or not we got her or Sr. is going to need interviewing again.
The thing about it was … that Sr. told her I could give the new person my harder cases, especially the ones that took extra work and calls to the family. So I took a 3x5 card to my file drawer and numbered it 1-10, then I put a column for both me and the new Q and I went from start alphabetically to the end of my case load and I figured who was easier and who were harder. By the end … I was actually very pleased with the result. I really do have harder and easier clients. Wow! Now it seems like at least this much help would be a help. We think we will still be working together an entire case load for 6 months, but maybe she will take over her clients sooner. We’ll have to see … Sister will push her. She also wants the new Q. to be getting to know the clients and staff as fast as possible, so I think our plan to have her working with the Personal Preference Interviews, ICAPS, Observations, and Goals will be very good. I would hope the Q she hires will be full time, so I’m thinking it will be like the last Q where she does a days work with Holly and 4 days with us. That’s enough time.
Yeeks. Have to be getting along now … about 6:30 am, our Sweetie just stepped out of the shower and we’ve got breakfast and medicine and lunch to do. Be taking care!
Warming up for a visit with Maury!
Good morning. This is me. It’s about 6:40 am and we are just getting up. We’re waiting on the morning coffee. The kitties have been fed though and that’s half the battle. We’re going to let Sweetie Pie sleep in. I think he’d gotten in SOME time of the night and instead of waking us up he let us sleep. We went in there and checked on him when we got up at about 1:30 to use the washroom. He said its still dark out there … let me get my fishing stuff. Hehehe I guess that’s where a fisherman in the middle of the night. They work on autopilot.
Hmm, Chief is being a little fussidy. Not sure if I like that BEFORE the coffee. We put him on the floor, but he sprung up again … Silly cat’s got springs, but I guess that’s where he is in the middle of the morning. They work on autopilot.
*Sigh*
Hmm where was I? Oh, I wasn’t yet. I think I’m going to have to disturb sir kitty and get the coffee … you know … work on autopilot?
Ahh. That’s better. Just need to resettle chief. He gets like that … says I can read her like a book, so he doesn’t even jump down when I go for the Joe.
Hmm … did we tell you Maury called and we get to go to his place this afternoon. I think its going to hurt Sweeties feelings, but he would have told us to go. Neither of us miss chances to be with the kids. We’re alike like that. For now … we’re also alike in seeing our kids out of the house. We visit them. We could ask him to come with I know it would be fine with Maury, but I know what he would say … no you go on, we’re playing this low key for now. Read him like a book too! I’m wondering if there is some way I could show Maury the movie I had made of that one soccer game. Let me see.
Mmm that was nice … we saw the movie for about 4 times … let’s check … time? 7:15 am yup, yup about a half an hour later. Couldn’t decide again what to do with showing Maury the movie because most of the copies are blurred except the small ones … I couldn’t find anything that would help explain retaining clarity. I think those pictures are off my camera too so I couldn’t show him them. You can see them so clearly on the …
Hmm, we faded here a bit. It’s now 9:15 am. Sweetie Pie woke up about an hour ago. We didn’t get to snuggle him in bed though … shoot … that’s no good. We did share some time getting the first few things taken care of like getting the medicine switched over. He had brought home the new stuff last night. Then we both took our coffee and cereal to the living room and we’ve progressed from there. He’s got on his Sunday morning TV and we’ve both been working on our computer and talking lightly in-between. Before that … we had been looking at some of our pictures. We were trying to get a grasp on where we were with all that. We’ve got about 250 pictures yet to b posted. We got about half way through when we changed pace, so now we’re sitting here coming from a substantial cat pet trying to get back into our groove. Oh one other thing. We listened with sweetie Pie an expose on Sting on his morning show. That was kind of interesting. I didn’t realize it was him who had sung so many songs we were interested in. I really don’t understand a lot of what’s happened in music.
Ahh, I’ve lost kitty … that will help the typing effort. Let’s try to find some writing purpose now, k?
Where are we at?
I’m thinking I want to go snuggle our Sweetie Pie. We talked to him about the day’s schedule. He has a list of 4 or 5 things he has to do from home in getting ready for his big trip. I was correct in thinking that he was going to want us going out to Maury’s when given a chance. It’s been about a month now and we’re feeling that lag that competes with being with Sweetie before his big trip. But, it should give him some time to finish some of his tasks.
Umm, well, I don’t think he got so much done that last episode. The show was doing a spot on sexpressos. Basically, girls with a lot of cleavage and short shorts serving coffee from large viewable windows. Uh huh … I think he was studying what?
Hehehe. That’s the boy in him. Those girls were making a hefty set of ti … ps!
Ok, ok … let’s be moving on.
So anyway. Whoops just lost some time … we went over to pet Rich … and then we found he was ordering his pants WOOHOOO … that was a big long thing to put off … so we had to encourage that. Now he is in the you know where room … we’re going to join him in a minute in his bedroom, so we can get in on his packing. I know … we are very domestic aren’t we ;) Gotta love that guy though … it’s sort of like when we go visiting places on our walk. We look for that movement in folding over a shirt, or stuffing a bag, or crossing from one closet to another. They are all good for us. He just makes us gush.
Ahh, we’ve moved onto the next step. It’s about 11:15 am and we are giving ourselves a half an hour before we leave. I wanted the hair to dry, but also wanted some writing time to calm down. Nothin special just that extra rustling from being away from the computer for a little bit.
We had a very nice time watching our special buddy pack. We don’t like it when he goes, but we like how happy he is when he gets to go. He’s a very efficient packer. We seen it all … socks, underwear, t-shirts, pants, well you know how that goes. We think it is so cool that he can reach in his drawer and pull out so many clean clothes stacked up just right. It turns out he’d brought home clothes from the laundry last night, so everything was set. He’s just SOOOO cool. Now he’s doing his bills and watching a golf “how-to” show. His mind stays busy. Mine just likes to drift … now he’s sorting his soaps, now he’s folding his club jacket.
Everything has meaning and he thinks through everything clearly. He says the extra room in his suitcase will be for extra reels and he has extra room in his overnight for more lure. I think he’s going to do that from here. Hmm, we just had a little extra talk. We’re trying to say … don’t do the lures until we get home. He can do the fussy bills and legal stuff while we’re gone … plenty to do. I think it will be good for him to have day time while we are out of the house … it will give him a sense of being-off.
Ok, anyway we’re dressed, showered, and shoed. Why don’t we think for a moment to see if there isn’t anything we can bring for Maury or Granddaughters. I don’t think they get overly excited over bananas. What could I give them? Well, maybe younger granddaughter would get excited by bananas, but what the other? We’re looking around and we can see some paper clips. Hmm, is the youngest to the level she won’t eat that kind of thing? Hmm, I wonder where that CD is on petz. That would be something … let me look.
WOOHOOO we found it! We have a Catz 5 … this is where you get to have a cat or two or their children … and you can pet them and feed them and play with them. There are different rooms they go to and get dressed in different things. You basically adopt them … I think she’s at a good age for it. And if you want you can let your cats roam in the room that you are at … so they could jump all over my word document I’m typing on now. We also remembered that we have a copy of our work video. That will be a good
Ok, ok … just reviewed the CD from work … we think we’re about ready to go. So let’s be zipping along. Ok, shoo!
A good Saturday ... Just wish I could have 10 of them a week ... *sigh*
Ahhh. Good morning. It’s me … it’s Saturday morning and about 8:30 am and we’re just sitting down to type. We have been up for almost an hour, but fooling around on the computer looking at videos and news. Sweetie Pie wasn’t expected in before about 11:30 pm last night, so I had gone to bed and now he’s really sleepin in.
Hehehe he left a message not to wake him. WOOHOO!! Sleepy Bunny! Before we sat down we put dishes in the dishwasher, cleaned off our computer table … took care of a kitty surprise and took our medicine. So we figure we’re here until Sweet pie is up. Hmm, we also turned on the AC because its felt really humid and had rained adding to a muggy feel. We’ve also got a coffee and a kitty in front of us and the keyboard. So, I suppose that sets the scene.
Oh oh … Sleepy bear got up. What is happening with that! I hope I didn’t wake him up … we were trying to be quiet. Shoot … Maybe though he’s got an internal alarm that stresses it is wrong to sleep past 8:30 am hehehe you never know. Just when Missy got comfortable too.
Ahh … that was a nice half hour with Sweets in bed … you know massage, ooh, ahh, massage, chitter-chatter. That kind of stuff. Now … I’m pulling myself away from ogling him. He brought in his computer so that we can both sit in the air and be on our computers. I think the only real plan I’ve heard so far is that he most likely won’t want to go to the work picnic with the families and he thinks he should go shopping before noon. He’s thinking that I should have my fruit … Probably right, but I don’t want to think of something that sounds so organized. He said something about coming up with more for me to be doing … and I thought oh oh that’s going the wrong direction. I think I’ve got plenty to do and I think it’s a good idea to start with some writing. We have thoughts all the way back to Wednesday to catch up with.
Right now we’re having a quiet time between us. He’s just finished the weather and I believe is moving on to the emails. I’ve got a kitty back in between my arms, but am thinking hmm. Maybe I should have some cereal. Cuz it’s already 9:15 am. Maybe I should do that first … hold on.
Ahh … ok that’s that. Kind of a sweet cinamonny cereal … granola style. I haven’t liked that kind too much for a while, but Rich seems to like it the few times in the morning that he’ll eat cereal, so it’s around when I run out of my cereal. Yep, yep there is no end to the number of news items you get flashed in front of you via this screen. Hmm, now it is Missy’s turn to be up front umm challenging me with her territorial meowing. I tell you … between petting, Rich, Chief, and Missy, we are wearing our fingers to the bones … hmpf!
Ahh, she’s settling without too much fuss. They are like waiting in the aisles for a chance for their turn … I’m pretty sure this was God’s entire plan is to have me pet mistress. *Sigh*
Hehehe … Rich just told me an off-colored joke … It was funny … I’m not sure, but I think our bunny friend has a ticklish rib about the size of New York. Funny guy.
Hmm, he’s almost done with the emails now because he’s commenting on a few that we’ve sent him. Eh, they are business though and the last thing I want to be doing on a perfectly good Saturday morning. I don’t think our friend realizes that when we start typing on a Saturday morning, we can be perfectly entertained for an additional 8-10 hours. I think that’s about 20-22 pages as a norm. He thinks I don’t have enough to do, but there are so many new thoughts to be had, and now we want to get into writing and reading for personal and professional development.
We’re at a loss now though because we’ve got about four books that we’ve started reading all at once. Not sure which one gets the top billed spot in consideration of our interest levels. I guess for the present it is fair to say that we are all over. We’ll have to sort that out later on down the line. I think basically what we do is negotiate for time … We have to handle now that we’re going to need getting back to being at work on Mondays. That is going to be a hardship for sure.
Ok, let’s not focus on the negative.
Off the top of my head I would say the book that is interesting me the most at this moment is the one on shame. I think that is one of the most basic tenants toward all the psychological illnesses that we are dealing with. So too with the problems with food. Because we are doing so much, but so little toward diet … that has to be the biggest concern. Well, actually we have been doing things, but there has been no progress made, although at least we haven’t gone up past 325. This morning we weighed in at 321. This feels abominable to us. When we talked to Dr. Marvin this week on the phone – we’d missed the actual appointment, we talked most of feeling down. It wasn’t the right time to go into all that, but it is a feeling that’s very much connected to doing work at work and the weight.
But, for now … I don’t really want to do that … our mind is too fluffy. We’ll have to come back to it, k?
Where do I want to go? I wish I were in a better mood, I know we had been back when we were going through fluffy face stuff, but I’m not there except to be mentally holding some space with him, because he is also on the computer, just the one right back of me. He is doing more reading than typing, but we make up for the balance of that. If I were in a more positive mood, I would want to go back into the space we were on Wednesday. Maybe if I could will ourselves back there, we would feel happier?
Ok, let’s try.
Wednesday if you recall was the last day of our vacation. It had taken some time negotiating, but the decision turned out to be that we were going to take a trip up north.
Whoops … he got a phone call … need to figure out to who. He’s talking about fishing so most likely Bob or his step-father. Thinking step-father. AHA! Or mother! Do you think? Those are good calls. Makes him happy. Yup, yup … that’s been confirmed. 9:45 am … maybe she’ll get him for a while. I like to think of his mom as being happy and I think she is happy when she’s talking to him. There are always concerns and they seem to smooth them out between themselves. I think that its very much a three-way conversation between Mom, Bud and Rich. They probably talk after the phone call and discuss wherever Rich entered in on their world. I think they save up a lot of stuff to talk over with him. AND, I think that they are due for a visit, because I don’t remember him going out there for about a month, and they have the same long week missing of him while he’d up in Canada as we do. Poor Mom and us!
Hmm, now they are talking about lawyer stuff. They are always worried about what is going on there. She wants to know that he is ok. I think so far I’ve gathered that she is a worrier. I sure hope I get to meet her one day. I’m thinking she is going to be a protective mother and worry that I’m good enough for them. Ahh, Sweetie has side-stepped and now asking into other family members – step siblings. I can tell there will be no concentrating as this call is happening.
I wish I could understand better the affiliation I feel toward these calls. Rich might talk about some more stuff into it later, but for now – it’s just keeping tabs that everything is ok. Ahh, Union stuff, don’t want to think through all of that … I think she’s worrying about something different. How did she ever get to be such a worrier? I wonder if its because she had so much to be taking care of in life. I think part of it is having an active role in helping the people that she loves. I do it like that I think myself. The boys don’t need my actual help, but I feel better if I know what’s happened and given a chance to think it through. Ahh, now talking about the grandchildren - they are discussing jobs for the youngest and governor changing minimum wage. Oh oh … he’s emphasizing 30 years ago. Sometimes I think he worries that she isn’t keeping up with present time. Rich seems to do a lot in explaining how “things are now-a-days.” It will be interesting to see if his children pick that up with him as he gets older. I know our kids do that now … they keep up with latest developments in areas of their interest, mostly electrical.
Oh my … he’s stated it for the record … he’s leaving for Canada THIS Friday. I didn’t know that! Damn it’s coming up … They are saying goodbye and he hasn’t arranged to go out there. We were trying to talk to him, but he got faded into something else he was doing. He’s checking out the baseball games to make sure he is scheduled in as he should be. I get a little irritated in that we’re talking and listening to him, and then he just forgets to talk because his mind drifts into another thing that he’s doing. But, to be fair, we are trying to establish spaces in our head that will allow us to let him be whenever he does something that isn’t particularly agreeable to us. Just like this. We are trying to be our most adaptable self, so that he doesn’t feel he has to change to suit us, or that he think we’re not happy with him or the situation. I will tell him later about it, but not as a complaint as much as an observation. I might wait until he says something like his mother drifting off then we’ll giggle and say … umm, like what you do? And, then we’ll try to remember it. Or not. Don’t know exactly where that one is going to go yet.
Last night on the way home – knowing that we were going to eat together and that he’d been worrying about us and guilt and fishing … that we wanted to conscientiously give him a break to be doing the fishing that he wants to get done.
That also includes when he wants to be off to visit his friends or family. We need to be saying not if its ok that he goes … because he has to be able to go by his own choice, but that we’ll be ok whether he is here or somewhere else. This is the point of our dependency that we don’t like, but I think we’re doing better than not. Unfortunately, we had felt pangs of panic when we realized that he was going to Canada just this Friday … and won’t be back for 8-9 days. That’s going to be a long period for us. We have to remember though that in the past he’s gone every year and we’ve made it through it.
This has something to do with our conversation with Dr. Marvin. I just remember him saying something about being on the positive side of things … so instead of thinking we are failing again, we could be thinking we’re doing it some more. Doing the good things that get us from situation to situation. I think one example of that was how adaptable we really are, more than how manipulative with shame we are on Rich. He also talked about doing things one at a time and accomplishing things. Maybe this is more us now, but if we could just be in general progressing, I wouldn’t feel so bad that we had to go back and cover so many parts different angles. This is what the writing is all about … trying to stay ahead of things. For example, last week we had come up with the plan for writing and reading, but just because we aren’t doing it exactly, it doesn’t mean that that time was wasted. In reality because it’s been put in our mind, we are trying to be working toward it.
In one of the books we’ve been reading – maybe the shame one it talks about … shoot think we’re forgetting … let me come back to this one, k? Oh, I know … we’re working in the time segments and planning toward being able to let go of certain things to get to the new idea, or impress on the new idea things that we forgot to consider that might keep us from that task.
Pshwoo … Sweetie is in the washroom getting ready for his shower. Man that was a lot of moving. He gave me the chore of getting the towels ready for the wash.
Since he’s doing all the heavy lifting of getting them back … I thought that had to
be ok. But, it was hard on the back and we had to go past that and get our own clothes ready. We do the week in about a bag on itself. Our white clothes though have been mixing with his so they could be properly bleached … wooHOOO! Us mixing with him
He’s going to be dropping the clothes off sometime today and he’s going to do a grocery shopping list. There is no way we want to get in on that … It would mean showering and dressing and waiting a lot in the car … to be finalized by helping bring stuff upstairs. On the other hand we could be just typing on a Saturday morning! Yah. You know which way we are going to go with that. Just because he likes to get up and moving doesn’t mean we like the same. Nice rainy day should be spent inside. Ok, I could see getting a shower, but beside that? Nothing else on the plan, though I might start up the dishwasher and walk around the house neatening things up. I’ve got a couple extra piles of books sitting around that we are going to need straightening.
Hmm, he’s between things … we just had a talk on holy underwear and what happens if he gets in an accident and who or who may not be telling someone’s MOTHER!!! She would know what to do! Oh ok, we’re going in overboard. Pshwoo sweetie got to the shower … I had to help him though *little devious smiles!*
Hmm, took the opportunity to pick up the living room AND start the dishwasher while Sweetie did the shower … I don’t want him to think that he’s not appreciated and that I can’t do SOME work around here without being asked. Hehehe oh yeah and then there is the part of my own standards … I’m one of those kind of people that feel I have less work to do if the basic cleaning is taken care of. I think we’ll take a shower after he leaves IF he doesn’t tell us too. We are trying to teach him that we don’t like being told what to do. We’re thinking he gives too many orders. It’s one thing to do whatever you want, but its another thing to tell someone else what to do in the meantime, because that wouldn’t be letting the other person do whatever she wants to do. AHA! Very important. Kind of a making breaking point of having gone from living by yourself to living with someone else. I have to though think if we’re not doing our fair share … then he might want to SUGGEST we do something, but it always has to be a choice.
Ok, enough of that. Sweetie is getting dressed … WHAT! I’m missing that?? Hold on!
Pshwoo … big move there. Sweetie Pie has left, we did another round of straightening and we got our medicines ordered. I think we are good for a while.
Let me think what would be the next thing? I guess there maybe a few things in the bedrooms. We could check that, but otherwise not too much until the dishwasher was ready to empty. I brought in the books from the kitchen and we have a couple nice tidy piles. We will have to sort out our priorities on that too, but not now. Ahh a little XM Heart music … I think of this station as a chance to drift off with thoughts of Sweetie. They are starting me off with Barbara Streisand. I haven’t heard her for a while. Nice. Hmm, just Saturday morning music … though it’s already 11:15 am now. That doesn’t sound like we have to much morning left, but a lots been done. Baby face said he would be back in about 2 ½ hours … so maybe we’ll look toward about 1:30 pm. Which means by 1 pm we should jump in the shower.
Yup yup … just in case there is a make-out opt. Hehehe … nooooo, I did not just say that. Well, yes I did BUT. I think when he gets home he is going to need figuring out where to work on his lures. I hope that he does it here so I can watch, but I don’t think he wants to bring it all upstairs. We’ll have to wait and see with that one. And, then he said something about watching his youngest son in a big wrestling meet tonight. He said he’d told me that, but we weren’t able to recall it. I think he’s planning on being home about 10 pm then. We’ll see. Hmm, we’re saying that a lot I think. Pswhoo. Oh yeah and I remember one more thing … He’s gotten his mail so will be going through that today maybe too. He’s also doing banking, dropping off the clothes, and going to the grocery store, and maybe to Walmart. That sure is a lot of running around. This is added also to yesterday’s work … one of the things he did was to get his private PO Box … WOOHOOO … that was one of his chores he’s been talking about for 3 months. Maybe today he’ll order those pants he needs and those frames for his fishing caps so he can “throw them in the dishwasher” Yup yup that’ how he says its done. God Bless him.
I think he was ok with all the above. He is always good about that kind of stuff.
Plus, he was happy because he said it was fishing hat day. Yes, definitely getting into it. He wants to be packed for his fishy trip by latest Tuesday. BUT, I think its going to get done tomorrow when he gets the clothes back. His fishy friend wants them by Tuesday and will have them packed by Thursday. I think for the record they are leaving Friday, but I’m not sure they won’t sneak out ahead of time. Boys … they’re just like that.
Ok, is that enough fishy man thoughts? I think we got it all figured out. I haven’t heard that his fishy friend called yet, but Rich thought that meant he’d already gone out fishing with one of his other friends. I guess his fishy friend fishes a whole lot. I think that is what makes him the happiest. I’m not sure how he is doing on the girl friend situation. I think the fishing interfered with the romance of his long standing friend, but I’m not sure about all that. There was more on the romance situation all together, but that’s just because I’m a girl and that’s the kind of stuff we’re interested in. We need to know the status quo.
Hehehe. Ok, ok … I’m a letch. NOOOO, but there is to be fair some comparisons. I will want to make sure that Sweetie Pie is having a good life. That means mostly letting him do what he wants to do. I am one of those lucky women that can’t get into a “poor me” thing because her Sweetie isn’t doing his fair share. Hehehe underlining here all the chores he’s taking care of this morning. Besides … we like to see his little boy eyes light up. I don’t think any man can go fishing for truth without regressing some.
Now. I have to consider ourselves. Because that would be the deal … if he is taking care of himself and making himself happy, then it would be my duty to do the same for me. We wouldn’t want him taking over that responsibility. Wouldn’t be fair to either of us. We did have one day together more that we haven’t talked about. Probably act like no big thing now, but at the time, and in our fondest memories … it was a very nice day. Like stated before we went north 2 ½ hours into Wisconsin on the edge of Lake Michigan. The ride up was very, very nice. We did a lot of talking … I don’t remember if we talked as much on the way back. Maybe it was just fluffier stuff coming home because we were both tired.
Now we have to think what was the big discussion about … it was one of those good ones. I think basically where we’d left off was that he didn’t think much of psychological medicines, he was saying that things were more mind over matter, and of course we couldn’t agree with that. I think he was trying to think through logic on why his daughter shouldn’t be on anti-depressants. We covered the part that he surely wouldn’t want us to be off our medications. And, because there is some similarity on the brain being part of the physical body and his physical body required the pain medicine for his swelling muscles and joints. I think he knew he wasn’t winning the argument, and it wasn’t our purpose to push that part. I think in the back of our mind, we were trying to defend more the daughter’s position after hearing very little of the conversation he had with her. A lot of it was uhhuh, uhhuh. He’s having trouble seeing the purpose of a doctor telling his daughter that it wasn’t a good thing to come home right now. His logic is that she needs to work it out so she needs the family, and to go one step further, she needs to be doing “her part” of the family by taking care of her mother. I think the family including Rich is using the children to fill their needs. I really don’t go for that.
We on the other hand know and tried to say to him that she was working on the relationships, but she was doing it with and through her doctor, and they needed time to be going through some of the problems. AND, we very much don’t agree that it is the kids’ jobs to be taking care of their mother. We think it is the mother’s job to be taking care of herself. And, possibly part of the husband’s job. If the husband isn’t going to be there or shouldn’t be there because he’s getting a divorce, then all the more reason for the mother to get the professional help she needs. Rich can go as far as saying his wife needs to be on medicines, but if we were to ask the same for himself, he would say that he doesn’t believe in them. I think he knows they are helpful to us. There was another comparison too in that he says that his wife, daughter and girl friend are all obsessive. Here, of course, we couldn’t but help to mention his obsessions with fishing. Just teasing here, but I needed him to think through what all that meant. I think obsession as we both came to define it was that we were choosing to do something that was unhealthy. He could admit to his problems with food as being problematic.
We talked about guilt and shame. Not very indepthfully though. Mostly because I realize it is significant, but I don’t know why. I think I have a good set of books to be figuring it out. I will try to share that with him, but opened the door by saying that I would be working on it and one of the immediate benefits would be that I would try to take off those things I do, which means that I am putting guilt on him. Not that I may not feel bad, but to be taking care of the negative feelings without the impression or reality that I need or want him to be medicating with his time my end of the deal. I don’t know if that makes sense, but seriously I want to be able to stop this cycle and I think at this point we can do it, mostly because we have Dr. Marvin in our corner to be helping out – and, because it is important to the relationship we have with Rich and we both have with our families.
Whoops bathroom break … lost concentration. Also, we stopped here to reread and to look for companies to order his ball cap frames from. They range from $3.20 to $4.99 … go wild lover bunny! I think you could easily fit 6 on top the dishwasher thing, but maybe only 4 – that’s probably best. He would go with the lesser priced one so we’re talking a whopping $12.80. Not worth a second thought. I would have ordered, but I think we’re overdrawn and there’s always the chance he sees them and picks them up at Walmart. Nonetheless we sent him 3 choices through emails. Ok OK … washroom!
Pswhoo. That wasn’t too bad. We took the shower, talked to Sweetie on the phone for a few moments, and then emptied the dishwasher. I think the place is good to go. He’s about up to the point of finishing up groceries and thinking about going to Walmart. He hadn’t decided yet, but had gotten a gift certificate from his daughter so he thought he might try that. He is to the point I think that he will order the cap frames. We’re being encouraging on that … We’ve agreed four to a dishwasher load. I don’t think he thinks he needs more than that. Missy is back adorning our arm and all is well in the love song department. I didn’t get dressed to go out though. I don’t think that is happening as long as it keeps raining out there, doesn’t make sense to be out walking. Hmm, I know … I should use the tread mill. Umm, no comment there. We did pick up the house, remember? That should count for something?
Breathe, ok we need to be calming down … we didn’t get dressed, because we didn’t know what we would be dressing for. Last night Sweetie was going to get home before us and make something, but he didn’t get to the store due to bad traffic. He decided we should get Chinese and of course, we’re always fine with that. He wasn’t so happy we finished our leftovers last night when he had gone out, but at least we could promise him, we wouldn’t eat his. While we were up last time we made ourselves a sandwich. Good us. Yes, we’re missing fruit, but know hunny bunny is doing his best. If we could get control over the money then we’d be able to take over some of that burden. Just don’t want to promise what we can’t deliver. I worry about lover bunny coming up and down all those stairs laden down with groceries or clothes. I tried helping, but the effect was devastating. I felt bad that Rich had to see us in that bad of shape. Maybe today we’ll try the tread mill. NO not right now! We’ll need to put shoes on … that’s not such a big deal either, but then we are stuck with shoes and weekends should be barefoot. Hmm, did I tell you the part where we were wearing our cat? Sure … a little later will be ok. It’s hard to do things that make you hurt. But, we too know that if we don’t do it now it will get worse.
Ok, ok … do we move the cat? Better to try it before Rich comes home. You know it girl. Could turn on the music back there? Damn. Cat moved. Ok, get the shoes and socks. What would Fly Lady say?
Hmpf. Ok ok … that was done. I don’t know if we made five though. I didn’t have my meter or timer, or radio or anything,. I am worrying now if I didn’t send the meter through the wash. Damn, I just don’t know where it is right now and I put ALL the dirty clothes in the wash without being conscious that I should be checking for it. Damn, damn. Ok, shhh calm down … it’s going to turn up as being there or not.
Just gotta let it be. It will be ok. It will be ok. One way or another. The point should be that we got on the machine and walked some … next time we will bring in the kitchen timer. I don’t want to overdue it though, because I will want to help Sweetie Pie put away the food. Would be nice if he sat down a minute and let me do the work. Chances are though he is going to get stuck going back downstairs.
He had to bring home a fresh bag of kitty litter. I really wish he would consider doing the service for $6.00. But, he is the kind of guy that likes looking over the items and purchasing them. Hopefully, we will come to agreement and budget to get another place soon without three flights of stairs. This is too much on him.
Ok, ok … we’re not going to lose it in worry about it here, ok? Girls? There is a lot of shame for having him do the work for two people. I think that’s part of the extra movement of us today trying to pick up and such. Just feel guilt. Ok, then are we doing as much as we could be? The only thing I can think of is to be doing the floors. That would be a good work out. The sweeping movement is hard on the back, but might as well try, k? Ok, you go!
Ok, good … you did it. Not real indepth sweeping, but good stuff. Now we figure that Sweetie Pie went to Walmart, but we don’t want to wait too long on the mopping so that the floor isn’t wet when he comes up with groceries. We can do this, right? Just gotta give a break for our back. Maybe too we will start in the kitchen area rather than the hall just to make sure we’re done in time. Ok, that sounds like a plan.
How are we going to relax our body now. We gotta rest up. Shhh, ok, girls, we can do this? It feels good thinking that we can do the work. We don’t want to be expected to do it each time, but if we can it would be a good contribution for all the running and lifting he is doing. Ok, maybe take some time this evening to go through the book on shame. Because I’m pretty sure my wound up feelings have something to do with that. They were saying that one way of looking at shame and guilt is that shame leads us from our ideal self, and guilt is a behavior like when we do something wrong. I think they are going to direct us past that point. It is yet to be seen. Let’s give us 4-5 more minutes … note time 1:40 pm. Don’t want to jump in too soon and be disappointed with our not making the mark. Hmm, can we change that to positive. I want to LOOK FORWARD to getting the job done before Sweetie gets home. Yes, that one works well. Probably should do the kitty litter too … should have … no should have’s … those are guilt producing! Well, let’s say this positively … it’s ok to sweep the area twice! Hehehe there ya go! I think we’re doing better on the kitty litter … Just need some reminders with that one.
Ok, let’s put that on the list.
Oh man oh man …. Hurt, hurt, hurt. Shhh … we did the litter box and the kitchen floor – sweep and swiffered. Good, good … now all we need to do is rest and run the vaccum in the living room. I know last time it didn’t work, but this time we could put the cord on the wall direct … that would work? Yes, you know it would. Just need to rest … time is now 1:55 pm. Let’s try in 10 minutes. That should be enough … Not as important to get this one done before Sweetie Pie gets here, but it would be nice to have done so we can rest then help him in the kitchen. Think he’s going to have at least a couple of trips up. Man … I’m not going to feel guilty, I’m not, I’m not. Just something he can do better than us, right? I would have to die with him if he had a heart attack. Ok, ok … shhhh, no reason to be having all of these thoughts. Let’s be nice, k? Everything will be ok. Rich is strong, remember.
Works that heart of his everyday. We need to do our part by moving and eating
right, then we’ll be ok … just have to be conscious that there is stuff we need to get done. It’ll be ok, just need time and practice.
Kinda thirsty too. Might have to make a couple of lemonade freezes when he gets home. We ran ourselves out of the mix. I think we have plenty of ice cubes left.
Should be good for both of us. We done good … together we’re getting all the work done so we don’t have to worry about it for the rest of the week. This is like a pattern, isn’t it? We can do this. I know we can. Ok, ok shhhhhh, we’re getting a little excited still hmm? Shhhh… big breathe. Ok, 5 more minutes … what’s the game plan. We will have to move the couch and table a little, but I think we can do it.
Why don’t we do that part now k?
Ok, that won’t be so bad … really not a lot of floor space just middle of living room, door frame, and under the desk. Ok, maybe a little in front of the front glass, but that’s it, right? Three more minutes. Let’s not get scared. We can do this. We’ll leave the vacuum in the door corner, put in the cord and work backward into the center circle. No wasted movements. And, don’t sweat out the details … just a little bit, k? Let’s not hurt ourselves. Want to have energy left, remember … helping to put away the food? Ok, breathe … we can do this, right? Ok, you go for it – but calmly!
WooHOOO! I did it. Time is now 2:10 pm. Just need some water and wash hands and we’ll be all set … let’s go do that, k?
Ahh … Man does that hit the spot. I am very proud of ourselves. Whoops … we forgot about the clothes out in our bedroom though. Hmm, let’s go finish her off, k? go for it!
Ok Walah! It’s done! 2:15 pm. He should be home pretty soon. He’s going to be tired. Better think back rubbing just in case. Now we can really breathe … we did real good on the vacuuming. It was hard, but not impossible. I feel good that I got the floor areas done all by myself. Well not the bedrooms, but they don’t get as dirty as kitchen and living room. Ok, ok … shhhh. Let’s all calm down. You would have thought we just won a big sweepstake. We are much too excitable. I think somehow this cleaning streak has turned into a sexual thing. House clean, showered, good mood. Damn I’m like a regular Stepford wife! Oh yes, and you know we’d like to go there! Hehehe ok, you be good … your man might be tired? He felt a little guilty, but shouldn’t somewhere over by the bank or post office he figured that he was close enough that he should stop over by the library. There is absolutely no problem there. I thought he was due … he finished his book about a week and a half ago. He was stalling, because he had to go all the way out to Algonquin to return the book. I think he was going to give it to his son to drop off, but we weren’t for him putting another thing on his son. *Sigh* His business I know.
I hope he felt today that he was in the swing of things as he needed to care for them. I really am proud of how well he’s adopted to being with us instead of at his old house. I think he’s been happy between here and fishing. He likes being out like today … and heaven knows we’re happy here. That adventure on Wednesday filled us up like a snow cone! AHA! We haven’t talked about that yet. Might as well give it a go.
We last left off that we were on the way up. I think we stopped only once for a bathroom trip. Oh yes before we left here there was a grocery trip too. Rich got ice, sandwiches, pop and grapes for the cooler. When we got there we had to pay $10 to get in. Later we found we could have gone another way to walk the same beach.
It turned out this was the place we had gone once before and I had collected the driftwood. I was in much better shape then, but at this park they had benches every 5 minutes, so we could walk in and rest, etc. There was another way into the park by bus, but that was limited to week days. For the record there were a lot of flies especially down by our ankles, but we adjusted by holding a small stick that we’d sweep around by our feet. It was very beautiful and I have yet to look at those pictures. I hope they came out. But, anyway … maybe the best part was after a family had left, we went down to the beach to take their place. We had eaten our sandwich up closer to the woods where there was picnic tables and shade. It was a warm day, but with a Lake Michigan breeze you can hardly complain.
Rich had brought a blanket from home and we eventually set that down by the beach. There were nice seagulls and the next family down the beach wasn’t within shouting distance. It was very lovely and I’m glad that Rich pushed us to be doing the extra walking. Ok, there was a little crying, but not much … more like whining. “I sure hope that hill isn’t going to be hard. Only a little farther ok? Will the flies be down by the water too?” You know that kind of thing. Sometime we need to be persuaded further then either adult or child thinks they are able to go. But, then there was all that inviting water on a warm day. It didn’t seem to bother anyone that we should changed from our summer dress to shorts and shirt to eventually shoeless. The shorts were the underbreathing ones that wouldn’t mind being wet. It took some sampling of the water … when we first stood in it it was very cold. We thought we were going to have to do it by ourselves, but our best friend came with us. We stood in it awhile and then went back to the blanket. But, that didn’t last too long because someone was pretty sure she wanted to sit in the water and was getting through the struggle of balancing that with being cold.
I think it helped that the beach felt warm and the water was so inviting. The compromise was that we sat on the wet sand so the water would come up to us, but the main part was out of the water. Shoot, don’t know how it happened but there was some playing in the sun and sand that was way past our ability to remember. We could hear Rich saying to the younger part that she might want to share with the older parts. But, I think that was asking too much for her. Rich told us later about there being a smiling man that was made and that there was a monster part that came out with mud dripping from her hands like blood. Those were the highlighted parts we have that awareness over. I know it took a long time for him to convince us that we should come out of the water. She kept playing and playing.
Afterward there wasn’t much complaining about anything. We didn’t have trouble with the flies because we were in the water. I think our fishy friend forgot how a lake might look to someone who wasn’t a fishing fiend. It took a little bit of walking and drying to get the sand where we could brush it off. I remember too he had taken her into the water deeper to wash the sand of our bottom part. We thought it great fun in being splashed. There is something else we remember the strongest of all.
All that time we were in the water, we never asked for it, but our friend … he stood
by us that whole time making sure we were safe. I think that is part of the reason that we didn’t want to leave. It felt very close and intimate for the parts that made it out. It was like the pure unadulterated fun things you do like nothing else so wonderful. We were happy with every breathe and glance at the blue sky and the gulls and the sea weed swishing in front of us. I don’t think any of us were going to be brave enough to get fully wet, but maybe too that will come closer to mid-July. Our fishy friend said that we could go back for our birthday. I didn’t realize that it had made such a good impression on him too. Maybe it will become our special beach.
*Sigh* so that was pretty much it. We did stop by a steak place to have something to eat for dinner and we drove making various stops on the way back. Our fishy friend counted 5 stops. Hmm, I think one for gas, one for cheese curds – our favorite WI thing, and then we stopped at three fishy places where our friend was looking for just the right bait. He needed Watermelon and chartreuse worms. Go figure … you just never know what is going to make a guy go crazy. He ran them out by taking their last three packages. I think he would have taken more if he could, and I know that what he had was going to be shared with two of his fishy friends.
These bags came 12 to a bag and I guess you can loose them to the fishes that’s why you gotta have so many. He was like in fishy heaven … you should have seen all the other guys we saw in the same situation. They were all fighting the closing clock … one guy literally running for the open door. Oh man these were very happy guys.
The fishy stores were huge like a K-mart size, but they were ruggedly built and lit like fishing lodges with heavy wooden beams. Pshwoo … just seeing him so happy was like the days when we were young and used to play tag games in the dark. I think that God will have to have fishy stores in heaven to make up for the specialness that comes over fishy guys … yup yup the happiest guys on Earth.
That takes a moment to breathe through. I know that I can’t be with our fishy friend when he goes on our trips, but in this way he shared some fishy time and excitement with us. It makes us feel like a million dollars to be with him and this much happiness. That’s why I want him to bring some fishy stuff up stairs this afternoon. I don’t know how he is doing now though. It’s already 2:45 pm … he’s been away for some time. I’m sure he went to Walmart, but now I’m thinking he went back to the fishy store closer in. He’s been gone for a long time. Either that or he brought some of his fishy stuff over to his friends and they are sorting it together. I don’t think that was in the plan, but he was wondering if he shouldn’t stop where there was a picnic table. I would call, but I don’t want to interrupt his fun. Plus, I don’t know how long it takes to go shopping at Walmart. I know that he had a whole bunch of stuff on his list, and I think he’s got to think through the fishy trip to what else he might need. Maybe too he stopped for a bite to eat. I know he was planning on being here, but this is a long time to be out … he might have needed to be refreshed.
Ok, ok … shhhh, we’re getting a little excited again. We go through this every time we stop to think of him … is he going to be ok … is he ok now … will he be coming home soon. We’re like his mother, I think … just regular worry warts. Hehhee. Ok, ok … WOOHOOO. I think he’s here … BBL~!!!
*SIGH* Ok, it’s me again. We’ve been off for awhile. It is now about 6:45 pm and Rich left almost an hour ago. He was going to see his youngest son wrestle tonight. He says he’ll be home about 9:30 pm, and there might be reason to be foolin around WOOOHOOO!!! I might want to soon jump in bed and rest up. We’re without a couple of medicines so I’m not sure if we’re going to be ok with that.
We’ll see … usually I can’t sleep without them, but I did take one that was for anti-anxiety. Again, we’ll see.
I had just been looking at the pictures that we took from the day we went to the museum and the day we went to the beach. Then Maury called and asked if I’d like to come over tomorrow afternoon. That seemed like a good idea even though Rich was going to be home. I didn’t know if he was going to be out of the house putting his fishy stuff together … It sounds like that so far. He’s going for clothes and that medicine after the wrestling so he can be ready for packing tomorrow. And, he said the bills would be tomorrow too. He’s going to want to make sure everything is good to go before the trip.
When he had gotten home he had to do three loads of stuff … two with the groceries AND cat litter, and one with special goodies from Walmart. That was pretty cool.
We got a special kiss right away and then we put groceries away and eventually got him the required Margarita. Hehehe. It was a pretty excited time because we were so ready for him to be home. I took a couple breaks in getting our part of the work done, but then after he got the third load up, he sat across from me and let me pull out the “goods” one item at a time, which made it seem like Christmas. He got two round table cloths, two sets of placemats, a set of 18 kitchen washcloths, some thingies for the bottom of the chairs so they wouldn’t squeak, a thingamajig to hold shower things, and a shower mirror, some shampoo and conditioner, and a new bath rug. I’m not sure if I got everything, but that’s the jist of it. It was so cool.
We talked between each item about the value of each. I wasn’t able to keep one part though. Someone came out that was having trouble adjusting to the change. He asked something that made her respond that the new things were confusing her and making her feel scared because it didn’t feel safe. I’m not sure all of what was going on there. We’ll have to see, but she seemed to calm down.
I thought there was going to be time for Rich to get done with some of those other items on the list, but he stated that he was going to make a very nice dinner.
Whoo! Was it! He brought home steaks and grilled them on the Foreman … hehehe he calls it “The George.” He also cooked corn on the cob, made mashed potatoes, and gravy. It was a GREAT dinner! I don’t think we talked too much in-between this one though. We were concentrating on eating … for the most part. There was this part of whether or not he got the second Margarita … we decided for him NO … because we didn’t want him going out with alcohol. We did compromise in that we gave him the last 1/3 of our glass. Afterward I put away the dirty dishes as he cleaned the grill, and then we umm had to push real hard … well, maybe not so hard, but in essence he had a half hour to spare and that seemed to work into a nice backrub.
Ahh the backrub. Can’t go wrong there. There was some talk, but it was pretty light. We were just enjoying and fading in and out … nice long rubbing of the head too. He’s just so gosh darn cool. The thoughts were what else could I do to make him feel happier than he already was.
There still is overriding concerns of his friend, Bob. He seems to come up often in our thoughts. I told Rich tonight that we were trying to make ourselves handle the inevitable meeting of him. We want him to like us, but we’re still getting over the competitiveness. We’re apt to talk about whether or not he’s “getting it.” And, we’re conscious of him giving our Sweetie a hard time sometimes. I know they are best friends so that must means he has other redeeming qualities. I think as much as Bob can love anyone, he loves his kids and he loves our Sweet bunny. Those are great redeeming qualities. Rich said tonight that he thought that Bob would say something after we met to make me upset and then I wouldn’t want to talk to him. I could see that happening in that I don’t like all the ways I’m getting in general with him teasing our baby. It will be another role to see our friend in and I can’t say I’m looking forward to that part. Maybe we could come to some agreement that he not directly insult him in our presence, but I don’t think he’s going to be that accommodating. I think he’s going to try turning over some of those embarrassments to us. I can imagine ourselves trying to come back equally with negative thoughts and statements, in defense of ourselves or our super bunny. I don’t want to break up the relationship as it stands between the two, but I’m pretty sure I’m not going to want to sit around and see our friend insulted. I don’t think he’s going to be especially tolerant of us.
He’s going to see us as one of those bad women who want more of his friend than our friend wants to give. Pretty much, I guess I see him being as protective of Rich as we are of him. I don’t know if he’s going to feel jealous of us for our time with Rich as we sometimes get with him, I just know that we both love the Rich we know and not the Rich the other knows. I think too that Rich is used to his friends not being friends with his soon-to-be-ex. I don’t want to be like that, or be like the one who never gets to be with his mother. I think I’m the one that is rocking the boat, because from all I hear, Rich’s mother, brother, and friend, can be a little rough on others. We’re going to have to try not to be intimidated by them. They are going to wonder if I’m good enough for Rich. I think that after they find how long we’ve been with him, there will be a little more tolerance. It must seem strange though that I’ve spent so much time hearing about them, where they don’t know about me at all. They don’t know what kind of person I am. They knew that Rich was in a bad spouse situation, but they don’t know if he hasn’t stepped into more of the same. I wish I could get to them that I’m ok, but it could be another year or two before I’m introduced.
We will have to be patient. It will be ok, when in doubt trust Sweetie Pie, hmm?
Ok, I think we’re going to need stopping for a little while. My wrists are hurting and I want to do that catch up on sleep trick. It’s just after 7 pm now … so, we’ll see you in the morning, k? Next stop … Super bunny gets home and we do Saturday night things! WOOHOO!!!
Just a dab of Friday
Good morning … this is a new day couple of days after … I will get to how wonderful it was on Wednesday probably tomorrow morning. But, for now just wanted to say hi again … Sweeties back in the shower and we’re bout ready to spend a few moments with him. No not in the shower! We’re going to wait until he gets out.
Sweetie had a late night of fishing last night and then I think he went out later with his friend to get something to eat. He said something when he said good night to me about making sure he was up in the morning because he has an important meeting this morning. Think he’s going to be zoomin. I guess I too have to get a move on it. One more day to get through so I can have a couple of days off
Yesterday, we forgot the Dr. Marvin meeting and only got to catch up from a phone call. That was frustrating. A lot. But, we were so tired and over taxed … maybe that all fit together that way because there was no other alternative. Just too tired to think straight.
Today we have to pull some thoughts together and firm up a plan of attack. But, we can’t take all day to do it … need to get work done. Just I don’t remember what our work was and for the most part … don’t want to know. Hmpf!
Kind of hard to reach explanation marks, because first Missy and now Chief taken over my arms. Nice that they place themselves on me and still allow me to type … Smart kitties.
Well, that’s about all for now. We want to get ourselves through this next half hour before work in style. Hmm, think we’re out of fruit almost
This is the backdrop for Wednesday ... more to come!
Good morning … this is me. We’re a little on the excited side because we get to go on a road trip to a forest preserve north of Milwaukee. WOOHOOO. We just pulled up the Mapquest and it appears to be a 2 ½ hour trip up and 2 ½ hours back … that’s perfect if you ask me. We had to push Sweetie a little hard on this because we wanted an adventure … go somewhere past Chicago where it was beautiful. Not that Chicago isn’t … it’s just that it’s a shiny dime kind of a place and were just lookin for a new penny.
We’re already out of the shower and now Sweetie is getting out so I won’t be more than a minute. The time now is 11:15. I think I am going to just grab my phone and a book, and put my camera purse in the white bag. I think he said something about fruit so maybe we’ll get some ice and some fresh stuff. I’ve been asking for Panera Bread for lunch and there’s one 20 miles from where we are going … so that means lunch at 2 pm. We could do that if we had some fruit on the way … and then we could have a very light dinner when we get back later tonight. We’ll have to work out those details. The other option is that he makes sandwiches here before we leave.
We’re trying to get out of that we need to be eating out … Just the sandwiches are regular and we’d have to stop at a sandwich soup kind of place for dinner? That’s not such a good idea … would like it for lunch even late, over dinner.
I suppose we’re really at the point though that we can leave it up to Sweetie. I think he’ll let us stop for camera batteries because I’m low … this would be just too nice a day not to be taking pictures. He is bringing his computer, but he says he doesn’t want me to wear down his batteries and he’s afraid even if I didn’t save that somehow his work could get a hold of the information. I say booooo to that, but will at least have my book along. Last time he took us out I could walk away from the computer … Maybe we’ll get home early and crash and I can write tomorrow?
First day back to work tomorrow … I have to try not to cry.
But, the best thing is that we got our adventure. He wants to take his car because it’s nicer on a long trip and his Selma works in WI. But, that means we can’t take a walk when we get there. I just don’t see me sitting down and trying to get up from the trail. AHA! He’s ready … better get going … will report later!
Short one for last morning of vacation
Good morning … this is me. We’re a little on the excited side because we get to go on a road trip to a forest preserve north of Milwaukee. WOOHOOO. We just pulled up the Mapquest and it appears to be a 2 ½ hour trip up and 2 ½ hours back … that’s perfect if you ask me. We had to push Sweetie a little hard on this because we wanted an adventure … go somewhere past Chicago where it was beautiful. Not that Chicago isn’t … it’s just that it’s a shiny dime kind of a place and were just lookin for a new penny.
We’re already out of the shower and now Sweetie is getting out so I won’t be more than a minute. The time now is 11:15. I think I am going to just grab my phone and a book, and put my camera purse in the white bag. I think he said something about fruit so maybe we’ll get some ice and some fresh stuff. I’ve been asking for Panera Bread for lunch and there’s one 20 miles from where we are going … so that means lunch at 2 pm. We could do that if we had some fruit on the way … and then we could have a very light dinner when we get back later tonight. We’ll have to work out those details. The other option is that he makes sandwiches here before we leave.
We’re trying to get out of that we need to be eating out … Just the sandwiches are regular and we’d have to stop at a sandwich soup kind of place for dinner? That’s not such a good idea … would like it for lunch even late, over dinner.
I suppose we’re really at the point though that we can leave it up to Sweetie. I think he’ll let us stop for camera batteries because I’m low … this would be just too nice a day not to be taking pictures. He is bringing his computer, but he says he doesn’t want me to wear down his batteries and he’s afraid even if I didn’t save that somehow his work could get a hold of the information. I say booooo to that, but will at least have my book along. Last time he took us out I could walk away from the computer … Maybe we’ll get home early and crash and I can write tomorrow?
First day back to work tomorrow … I have to try not to cry.
But, the best thing is that we got our adventure. He wants to take his car because it’s nicer on a long trip and his Selma works in WI. But, that means we can’t take a walk when we get there. I just don’t see me sitting down and trying to get up from the trail. AHA! He’s ready … better get going … will report later!
Caught up to Tuesday Here...
Good morning … this is me. It is very late in the morning now and Sweetie Pie has just left. The time is 9:41 am. We’ve been up now since about 6:15 am. We’ve been sitting at the computer, but we were reading instead of writing and then our computer turned off, which usually means someone forgot to pay the cable bill. I thought we were within one month, but I’m not sure … there is always the chance that they are just working on the wiring. I suppose that I’m going to need making a call to see what the problem is, but I don’t really want to know because I don’t have the money in the checking account to pay for it at this moment. It might not be available until … hmm, let’s see go to work on Thursday, deposit check so that it goes in on Friday, then wait til maybe up to next Wednesday. Ok, let’s not get into that right now … I might have to panic after thinking no Internet for a week. We need to be resolved not to ask Sweetie Pie for the money. It is our fault that the check isn’t in the bank. We were the ones who chose not to go in for the check, remember?
Hmm, Sweetie just called from the car … he said that it was in the 70’s and there is a nice breeze and that I might want to turn off the air and open the door for some fresh air … that seemed like a good idea, so we followed through. The kitties are all happy too. I think they miss being outside when the air is on. Ok, good, good.
We were a little dozey while we were reading the last post that is yet to be posted. We zonked out several times while reading. I don’t know if we were tired, it was an affect of the food we ate, or whether the system was closing down on us to prevent the material from going through. I don’t want to really venture out on that point, except to say that we’v been in and out of it. Prior to that, we had originally woken up, then woke up Sweetie, and then watched him after his shower getting dressed. That always makes us feel happy to see him progressing through his paces. Of course, there was sufficient time to do some good back rubbing. Our poor baby, he sure needs a lot of good treatment.
We then poured coffee for both of us and we stayed around him working in the kitchen for a bit. That’s when we eat cereal and take our medicine. It’s like a trance-thing where he becomes though more and more interested in what’s going on in his computer, because the statements he makes are just fragments of his thoughts. And, we find ourselves a little frustrated in saying, “What? What?” Mostly, because he’s so entranced his voice is low and self-hypnotic. We need to learn better when to just say ok, I think you want some time, so we’re going to go in the living room to be at our computer. I think this morning, not being rude, but he really did need some quiet uninterrupted time to be working on what he had to do. When we started reading yesterday’s post it was in mind to check it to see if we could send it to him. It is rather long – 14 pages – but, we wanted him to see how excited we were with the day before we both had that bad spell. That part is integrated into the writing too. I’m not sure in my groggy state, I really saw the transition point, maybe I could look specifically for that now.
Hmm, it seems like we had been writing and things were good and we were progressing with what we didn’t want to forget about the previous days. And, then there was the part where we could hear him getting angry. And, then we went in there and he started telling us all the things we had to do, which made us frustrated. But, we then tried to get back into our writing which was a little successful. We then finished our notes from before and had done the dishwasher while turning down going out to the zoo because of the weather. Then I think we had gone out there and had a bad experience because of all the things he was telling us to do. And, then we became upset, because we were on vacation and wanted to do whatever we wanted to do. That had pushed us in a panic because we felt our vacation slipping away from us. Looking now we can see that his pushiness might have had something to do with anger seeping over from his own business frustrations at the time. Us coming up with ideas that would be costly to him pushed him over his ledge, and then after getting snapped at we felt in a bad mood, and then stopped that by regressing to the coloring. After that we both started a calm down period and we apologized after he’d called to suggest going out, because he was too tired to cook. Dinner was calm and there was some good “in-bed” make up time. So, maybe that was part of it … we aren’t having enough sex! WooHOOO!!!
Ok, analysis done, and then the point would be … lesson #1 don’t spend his money, lesson #2 watch what is going on after he gets mad at work and how that might infringe on the personal side of life. Lesson #3 Get a grip on not only money, but the fact that we are going to need going back to work in a couple of days. Lesson #4 try to figure out the patterns of when he starts to give us lists of things to do. I think that is putting us in a regressed state of our rebellion. Sometimes he gives good suggestions and reasonable ideas, but at other times, we have already thoughts and plans in other directions and we don’t want to deal with his frustration because we are doing something on our own and not in line with his ideas. Lesson #5 … we love our Sweetie to pieces, but we need to acknowledge that we are in a relationship that is still being defined. He went into spaces dealing with his desire for freedom to go fishing when he wants or anything else. We explained that it was hard to be left out and we were a little jealous of the relationship with him and Bob, because it excluded us and seemed to be where he wants to go most in his free time. We felt that he was under an obligation to us to do stuff with us, rather than it having been his first choice. He took things personally in that he felt unappreciated for all the quality time we had just spent together. That’s why we wanted to send him yesterday’s writing is to say … no you weren’t unappreciated we loved every moment of our time together. It’s just … and then here skipping back to lesson #1, 2, etc.
Hmm, ok ok … bottom line? Don’t spend his money, don’t get in the way of his work frustrations, get ready to go back to work, look for patterns when he starts assigning tasks, and don’t forget we are just in the first stage of buiding an “in-home” relationship. Woohooo, got it! Lessons learned … now we have to move on.
What is next?
Time check … it’s a Tuesday – two days left of vacation, the time is 10:15 am, and we have no major plans for the day. We could go back here to thoughts that we’d assigned ourselves a schedule and we might want to consider some of those ideas.
Sweetie is now gone for the day and won’t be home until 8:30-10:30 pm tonight. That means we could have a little more time with him, or it could mean we have some time for reading at the end of the day. That is the situation that has lost out the most during our vacation. When we got that note from sister saying to go be on vacation, we took things literally, and since our reading was work orientated, we stopped that too. Since then, we have approached Rich twice with our request that he pay for a couple of books on fundraising and grants from Capella. He’s balking, so we told him we’d go so far as he could take it out of our pay check. I think we’re going to have to go over again with him, where our money lies in between us, but otherwise, we want to make sure to get the materials before we’re closed out of the program.
Also, it pushes a priority of whether our reading time is going to go into grants if the books are here, or whether we are going back more into program directing.
I think the priority when we get to work has to be in getting done with the Qnotes before the annuals start. I think we can organize it over the next couple of work days and then we have to budget time between that, annual report, and annuals starting up in July. We could start the prep work first week of July, because the first one isn’t until the 10th, but we have two right away so there is 2 to plan. I don’t know yet how we get past the upset we’re going to feel going back to work. We say this because the three projects will be pushing, plus whatever else we missed out on, such as staff training. So, what will be our plan so that doesn’t freeze us up?
We’re thinking there is a good chance that Sister will have an outline for the annual report, because she’ll want it her way and she won’t like that it’s still sitting there undone. We are going to need getting past our frustration that it is bothering our annual time and frustration from still being behind in Qnotes. One solution might be to do a few projects now. We could look at what we are going to write for the main portion of the program, and we could write out our plans for doing the annuals on their own. We should also think through some strategy in training new people. Mostly sister will want them trained on the job, but we’ll need to figure out what we will want the new Q to be doing. In the back of my mind, we see her doing some footwork, such as personal preference interviews, observations, and possibly, ICAPs. I think that would easily take up 3 days each week. We might too need to look at the possibility of losing her one day extra because Holly is going to need secretarial work done. We had wanted to think as an extra that she could pull the information from the Qnotes, for the reports. That means if nothing else get in the Qnotes for at least the first four people. Now, looking at a budget of time – how much can we hope for. Probably, we should look at getting her for only two days.
ICAP – 1 hour with test and 30 minutes typing
PPI – 1 hour with interview 2 hours typing
Observation – 30 minutes in interview and 2 hours typing
Pulling Agenda – 1 hour
Hmm, that’s pretty good … it says 8 hours, but that would be heavily concentrated in those specific tasks. If she were however getting more things accomplished on time, and we were helping with her schedule, then we could start to train her on Qnotes.
Hmm, I think that is a plan. We figure that between this combination, she will get plenty of time to get to know the clients. She’ll get a chance to be in each of the rooms, interview staff and clients, and observe clients, plus read some of their old material. We have to budget too for meetings. I think she is going to miss staff training, but may be around for the actual annual meeting. That would be good training.
Cool, cool … I’m happy with the plan and I think it will get her accustomed to the whole case load. I will beseech Sister to not give her just one caseload until January, 2008. That will get us through all the annuals and there will be more chance to see which clients she works best with. I don’t know sister’s thoughts on us giving her these particular tasks, but after the CARF interview … I think that we are going to fare well with getting the PPI in, if not the observation. Plus the ICAP is something that can be done by anything, because it is just querying the DSPs. The other thing she may or may not get into is the establishing of goals. I think we will keep the part of writing up the formal annual although, we might save a few of those toward the end for her benefit of learning.
I will need to consider her teaching qualifications and whether this schedule will appeal to her. I guess there the first concern would be if Sister took away more of my time, because she wanted the woman in the classroom. Too, we have to figure out if we are really going to get her assistance, because it wasn’t a done deal she would work at St. Rose Center. Sister had to negotiate her salary. So, then we’d have to think … what happens we have to do this on our own. I think its strong point is getting to know the clients and if she’s in the rooms observing, she gets a chance to follow the program from the point of view of the DSPs. If she wants to teach, she could follow us into Thinking Group and prepare to take over something on that order. We could also see that she take over Group #1 goals. We forgot about that part.
We know sister wants one of our days during the week to be for CARF. It looks like by this schedule there will need to be one day to do the above. There needs to be at least one day a week to be doing Qnotes. There needs to be a ½ day on goals. I guess we’ll hold to that only for the time being, because what isn’t taken up by meetings the last two days will need to be spent on the annual and catching up on Qnotes and completing other various tasks as float to the top. Hmm, that sounds like a plan … let’s check it over. Hmm, forgot one of the major tasks yet to be covered is doing the goals and annual paperwork, and scheduling and such. Man-o-man … I sure could use the help now. It’s fairly easy to train on the above. Question will have to remain … what happens she wasn’t hired? We need to look again at our priorities.
I think the one that will suffer first until we get someone trained is the CARF.
Qnotes and annuals have to be done, plus the extras that come up in the meantime.
It will be nice to take a break from the staff training, and I guess most of the work in retooling ourselves is going to need coming from home. That will bounce off of and between Rich’s needs for us. I think this is where the frustration comes in. For the next half year, we will need to concentrate primarily on the Q portion of the job. It is tempting to teach her only Qnotes, but that wouldn’t help her learn about the clients. Best I get through the Qnotes and keep her movin along.
That is the best prospect of training. She will get in a pattern so that she will then need very little supervision. Maybe her courses will be done by then and she will be able to take on full time, and preferably full client load, but of course that will need to be negotiated, because we don’t know and certainly Rich doesn’t promote us loosing full client load. It will have to be emphasized that I would take over certain aspects like … hmm, like what?
I think we did this the other day, but now I’m not recalling … were we going to take over observations, preferences, AND goals of all the clients? That would take off 6-8 hours of work for each of the Q’s so it would be like giving them an extra day to work on something else. We would need to sell sister on the point of view that observations and PPIs are worthy of each of the clients records. Consistency is one factor, but then if she isn’t letting them go to the parents, are they yet practical as a teaching mechanism, or possibly as part of the performance analysis. We could include it in that effort. I am going to go especially this year since all my clients were done last year as a comparison. I think the PPI will be good with its new CARF emphasis as an exemplar. Hmm, I think there were like 3 that Mirza didn’t complete and is still in her basket. Those will have to be done as well. I think they are of her later clients, so by then, perhaps the new person can type them up … maybe not … I don’t know if she would understand Mirza’s notes. We’ll have to check that out.
I think as to are the observations essential … we’ll have to look at the meeting structure. I don’t like it the way it is now, but I don’t know other possibilities according to Sister’s tolerance. I would if I changed it try to include more family into the planning of the goals. We would need to rethink that structure and be more open to not establishing the goals until through the meeting. But, everyone wants to know what the goals are and within 15 minutes time, that is a lot of pressure for me to come up with something close to what they are interested in. Sister is still going to want the meetings to be no more than 1 hour. Then there is the problem that parents are not in a good position for establishing goals. And, we need to consider that Sister is going to want to keep the goals simple. I think we get credit for having goals that are individualized and I don’t want to go toward Holly’s one goal fits all for a life time. There surely could be found something in between. Maybe that will come up through the curriculum work of identifying goals for independence and community awareness. It would be nice to use the support model in establishing the goal. That would come from using the support inventory. The new means of doing things is working not on the clients’ deficits, but on their positive attributes. That is something that we can look toward, but Sister is still adamant of getting needs met that are deficits.
I think in some aspects, we are just going to need reading on what is ideal, and until something changes and sister is not here, we’ll have to work backward. I would like her to know that that is happening, but it is going to depend on how strongly my knowledge becomes on newer processes. One thing is for certain that if I don’t read I get behind in everything. There is another pressing need and that is to identify the programs strengths and weaknesses so that it may be improved. This may mean going back into the work of the clients’ satisfaction surveys. Problem with that is that there will be no time for it until we get someone in to help with Q position. We could though frame what is needed for the program.
I think when we start that we will center on structure. We would like to get to a position that we can write a training manual, and at this point, there is nothing to offer, because we’re not at the top of our game, nor does the center do what it necessary of a newer class program. The key will be in becoming flexible while covering areas that are focal concerns. Hmm, I am thinking of a design here such as the state of IL puts out for training DSPs. Would our program have the elements of lesson by lesson? I would see best it being a training program, with the usage of theory. But, is this novel? Would it sell? Has it been done before? For example, I could see one trend being less workshop and more getting people out into the community. I would have to establish a program that would get each out in groups no bigger than 2-3 at least once every? Hmm, once every cycle? Not sure if it could be once a week, that might be ideal. Maybe the first emphasis should be once a month? If we figured a 2 hour block of time for let’s say two individuals? Hmm, 25 sessions. Maybe we are going to have to take off the list the first 8 clients, because they are already in a work orientated program. That would mean taking it down to 21 sessions which could be done monthly at 5 – 2 hour sessions a week. When the week is short or there are absences, then we could go up to 3 clients to fill the gap.
I don’t know if I would be the person to take them out, there may be better people such as when the new Q was finally trained in, or possibly Margarita and Imelda could off-balance the load. There would need to be more work upfront in the training aspects. For example, the outing trainer could report to me on the general scope of the adventure, and then we could devise other learning activities that are much centered to reach the clients’ next objective. Hmm, if they were both going out, they could double up and each takes another vehicle. I would need to have an inventory of objectives for clients that would be checked off. I’m not sure where I would get this list now. We could say that I need staff 2.5 hours a day or if there was 2 staff, 5 hours a day. It would be good idea to meet with each staff individually 15 minutes after the trip, and then at the end of the week, we could meet for 1-2 hours to discuss learning objectives that I would further work on between their trips.
This could be a function of a program director. I think then the key would be to devise trips that wouldn’t cost much money and could be individually suited to each person from the lowest level clients to the upper. I wonder if sister has other plans yet for these two women. What as an example can we do to get the clients out and around? Maybe we would need a hot list of a variety of things that could be done with them. For example, at some of the major sites, we could get passes for one adult and guests. Hmm, that might mean though that each staff would specialize in each activity. This could be part though of a cultural activity. We could group other places out in the community.
Cultural
Sports
Shopping
Tasks
Library
Food
City Watch
Volunteer
Transportation
Religious
Parks and beaches
Health
Game - searches
Maps – direction
Animal
Educational
Art
Family
Music
Party
photography
Ok, that’s a good list to start from. From there we would design objectives from what? We would need something of training or goals, we should have a master list, but then specify individually as each client warrants. Definitely some what ifs.
Problem is that with the Internet down, I have no ability to check this out … to see how I could collect a master list. If I had the computer … where would I look?
And, could we consider these goals as one of the client’s regular goals, which would take some pressure off of the DSPs. That might be a very good idea, but the goals would need to be simple enough for Margarita and Imelda. Perhaps that would be evaluated during that 15 minute wrap-up.
Hmm, cats keep bringing in cicadas to play with … there has been 4 in the last hour. There … we resolved that. We threw the last one out and we shut the screen door. That was probably a good idea anyway, but usually I try to give the cats more freedom. They abused their privilege. Deal is not to bring inside critters! Ok ok … it will be all right I can let go of the two poor deprived kitties looking longingly out the screen door. Ok, you all no guilt trips … you are going to need handling just having fresh air. Hmm, noisy sirens all of a sudden there are several, plus fire trunks honking. I wonder what’s happening. Maybe something not too far from here. I can still here them. Ok, they are finally fading. Pshwoo that made me feel intense.
Pshwoo ok, back to work … we need to figure out away to get all 50 individuals out in these various activities doing something.
Hmm, it’s me again … we finally got back on line about an hour ago and it is 5:30 pm now. We just ate a frozen dinner and am having a cup of coffee. We talked to Sweetie Pie a little while ago … his game starts in about 20 minutes. He’s in the not so far western suburbs, but his friend that had to cancel the fishing trip due to an aching business is pretty much down, so after the game, Rich is going out to spend some time with him. He’ll know what to say … I’m sure of that. They’ve been pretty good friends all the way back about almost 40 years now. They are through thick and thin friends. I hope he’ll be ok.
I know, I know … backing out … none of my business, cept I know its been bothering Rich. He knows his friend is hurting.
We spent most the afternoon doing reading from a couple different books, primarily one on Quality of Life for service providers. It seems to do most of its work through assessments in several different areas – 8 of them all told. They all make sense though I don’t have them memorized. AHA! Found the domain names … they are emotional well-being, interpersonal relations, material well-being, personal development, physical well-being, self-determination, social inclusion, and rights.
We’re still going through the slow theory building parts, but I’ve done some racing ahead to study how they are using the domains. I think it is going to teach us how to do the assessment without telling us explicitly, but this one part looks like it tells us professional assessments that could be used. I don’t think Sr. Theresa would buy all that, but maybe I can pull something from the book or internet.
WHOQOL-100
Domains Facets
Physical Pain, discomfort
Energy, fatigue
Sleep, rest
Psychological Positive feelings
Thinking, learning, concentration
Self-esteem
Bodily image and appearance
Negative feelings
Level of independence Mobility
Activities of daily living
Dependence on medication or treatments
Working capacity
Social relationships Personal relationships
Social support
Sexual activity
Environment Physical safety and security
Home environment
Financial resources
Health and social care: availability and quality
Opportunities for acquiring new information and skills
Participation in and opportunities for recreation/leisure
Physical environment (pollution, noise, traffic, climate)
Transport
Spiritual Spirituality/religion/personal beliefs
http://www.gfmer.ch/TMCAM/Evaluation_therapeutical_effects_complementary_medicine.htm
http://acqol.deakin.edu.au/instruments/ComQol_I5.pdf
http://www.psy.miami.edu/faculty/ccarver/sclCOPEf.html
Hmm, now it is about 8 pm. We read a little longer and worked on finding the above scales on the Internet. We looked for many others too, but these are the ones that showed up in some form or tense. We just called our Sweetie to remind him that we are here and we’ll go on from there I suppose. We also ate a grapefruit and took our medicine, so all that is good. We have interested ourselves in the majority of the day with the assessments and am not sure where we are now from where we started. I should probably post a few entries and that would give us a sense of balance. But, it gets to this time of the night and we’re not as good as others. I feel like I fell short of the mark today, because we didn’t get too much overall resolved. I don’t think at least. Maybe I have to go back and see what we were thinking of.
Hmm, from the skimming I just did … it looks like we had come up with a couple of objectives and gone down the path to better understanding the annual process and the process for staff training, particularly if we were to get another Q. We veered off of the project to write for the annual report, because its better to talk to Sr. first, and I wanted to use the reading to become more clear on those objectives. We really got into the assessment part after we’d thought more about a framework that would get all the individuals out in the community. We got stuck on wanting to understand their needs before we gave them community options to resolve the point.
Hmm, how did that happen … maybe we were reading something or listening to something, but then we found ourselves listening to a person singing on YouTube, named Esmee Denters … they say she’s just signed with Justin Timberlake. It was nice to be hearing her. She’s pretty young, but is able to sing other peoples songs well. She’s also got a pretty face without all the make up. Hehehe she’s singing for a world audience from her bedroom – well not all … I think someone got her to a sound stage and then flew her over to the US to hear her out. She’s a Dutch citizen and quite popular in the YouTube medium. We’ll see … good luck to her. Keep singing!
Hmm, 9 pm. I was suppose to watch Rich’s show and tell him what was happening, I better hurry up … I can watch only from his bedroom … wooHOOO!!! Party!
