Taking this show on the road ... :)
Good morning … we’re going to try this again. We started an entry, but got no more than a paragraph or two into things. We had discussed waking up to a very crabby Missy. We didn’t mind us being woken up, but when it comes to Sweetie Pie, we want to wake him up. So, we put Missy into the backroom until she could compose herself – or about 20 minutes later when it was we got dressed. She was just too much … if anyone is going to wake up Sweetie Pie its going to be me! Hmpf!
He in fact, woke up a few minutes before 6 am and then fell back into bed so he could get some good rubbin. Hehehe … he knows the right tricks. He had gotten home the night before about 10:30 pm and had sat for a few moments out on the balcony. That was kind of cool. We talked to him while he was getting rubbed and again after he’d taken a shower and gotten dressed. Then we did a few morning routines at the kitchen table and he looked through his date book for openings that might correspond with my vacation. We needed to tell Sr. when we were going to have off … we have 6 more days to take before the end of June 30 or we will lose them. We’re looking now at Th. June 7, Th & F June 14 and 15, Mon, Tues, & Wed June 18, 19 & 20th. That’s like one day next week, two days the following and three days the next.
I’d kinda started hoping I could take off right away, but Sweetie says he might be able to get me half days then … he’s got fishing tied up there too so doesn’t want me to take off days he’s going to be gone. He also has to fit in CARF at the other place. That’s going to be week after next June 11, 12 & 13th. I think we will both be better after this whole CARF thing is over. We’re going to get through it though. I think Sr. wanted me to take it earlier and get it out of the way so it didn’t interfere with the Annual report, but I will ask her earlier when we can sit down to plan from last years copy. I can get started on that sooner than later. It has to be finished before June 30th, and I will want it definitely out of the way before the annuals start-up in July. Actually, that’s going to be coming up next week. We have to start making appointments. We’ll see how that all goes.
But, for today, I think I’m going to need to start planning the rest of my life post-CARF. I think that’s going to take some thought and I have to find something to get excited about. I think I mentioned yesterday the highlight seems to be thinking about being a program director. I would like to put together an outline, that includes handing over the Q job to someone else. I know there isn’t anybody hired yet, but we’re going to hold on to faith. I want to believe someone right will come along to fill the position. I have to be ready to sell sister on what else I can be doing. Another thing we have to consider is that we’ve got the new Circles program coming up again. That is going to take some planning … it means teaching about an hour a day. Like I said planning will be needed. It’ll be like doing staff training or thinking group where you got to figure out in advance what needs to be done. I think we could work this into a plan toward program objectives. I think we would like to read over the CARF thoughts and the old thoughts on Program Director … I want to take the center in a direction that is along the lines of what Sister has in mind. Maybe though something a little new.
Hmm, that is better … stopped to use the washroom. Builds up there … hehehe.
Ok, ok … getting serious again. Shh, it’s going to be ok.
Ok, what’s the first thing. What do we need to do first. Hmm, just said that … stalling already? Hmm? Damn
Probably a good idea to get rid of some of the things that we’d put on hold during CARF. Like it would be good to do Qnotes. We think if we did get help that we would need those not to be behind. Especially coming up to the Annual meetings, we want those finished up. Not a good idea to get behind at this point. Let’s check out some of the things that need to be getting done … a list?
Woohoo … got all the red dot things done … That’s a good sign.
1. Confirm status of group going to CSO for computer training Wednesday, June 6th
2. Confirm everything is filed – but this should be good
3. Assure that Mrs. Cervantes gets into the psychological meeting. The appointment is June 12 at 9 am.
4. Read Alma’s file and review behavioral incidents, check Cathy’s written record and balance against the suggestions from the Behavior meeting. Call Dr. Sripada, and talk to the family through Rosa.
5. Complete the Annual report – starting with a meeting with sister, then make an outline for Rosa – discuss, and then complete tasks established
6. Optional - Arrange to set-up filing type work for Lupe for 2-3 days a week for an hour
7. Assure that we get signatures for the two documents from corporate compliance
8. Check files for missing state, psych, medical and dental records
9. Complete Qnotes not completed for March, April and getting into May
10. Type-up minutes for the behavior meeting
11. Discharge Maribel
12. Discharge Maria
13. Discharge Moises
14. Check with Ms Chaidez about Ana’s sleeping and check concern over weight loss
15. Prepare for the starting of Circles
16. Write follow-up letters to parents not sending in Medicaid cards
17. Check on Joel’s video goal
18. Check what Kathy needs for forms – Star – on discharges
19. Call back Eskra’s to check on their status
20. Establish a schedule for the July Staffings
21. Consider thoughts toward Program directing, CARF for the next year, and goals established by CARF survey
22. Take 6 vacation days
Good … good … think I got it all except of course there are regular things like Thinking Group, Staff training, Administration meeting, staff meeting, Circles group, Computer meeting, and Goals Group.
I just brought a copy up to Sr … she skimmed while on hold with someone. She laughed at the end saying vacation? That’s probably the most important thing. During her read through she questioned how long to get this done, and she questioned if these priorities were in order. I said no. Though in general the things on the top of the list are more prioritized than the things on the lower part of the list. And, of course there will be more things added as we go along. But, this is a good starting point … and should answer the internal questions as to what do we do now post-CARF. Hmm? Sister also said … you got a little behind, hmm? Uh yes sister. BUT, CARF is done I think it was a good thing to do … because instead of handing it back to me she laid it down on her desk and then took the call she had been put on hold for.
WOO HOOO!!! CARF is over!!!
Now, we have to work on our motivation to get things moving … it doesn’t really matter which item on the list we take … they all have to get done. I’m leaning toward work on the Qnotes … we could establish a goal to get done with as many as possible today – Wednesday through Wednesday next week – because then Thursday there is a vacation day … then we’ll have Friday to complete some “emergency things” that come up by then. That then gives us the next 7 days off and that will finish vacation … BUT, we’re probably going to need organizing some of the annual report before then … hmm, which other ones have to be finished before vacation? 1 -10 min, 3 – 10 min, 4 – 2 hours, 5 – 12 to 15 hours, 9 One week – for 2 months, 11 – 2 hours, 12 – 2 hours, 13 – 2 hours, 15 – 4 hours, 19 – 1 hour, and 20 – 3 hours. Hmm, that’s going to take some time too.
Wow … theoretically, if I didn’t miss a beat … this would mean 80 hours of work – which is 2 weeks and in truth we have … let me see … 17 days from now to June 30th to work – which means vacation days came out … 80 hours of hard core work, 32 hours of scheduled meetings, comes out to having available 136 hours, minus 80, minus 32 … equal 24 hours – or 3 days of unproductive time – or time spent in the addition of new tasks or tasks that take longer than scheduled. Ok, good … At least I know then that this is doable … if I make good use of time.
Hmm, that was important … The secretary just came in to check some discharge dates – we looked up all my 3 clients that have left or have died. Those are good dates to have down … Including the one other … that means I’ve lost 4 clients this last year and that means I’m at 19 people and now Sister wants to discharge one more. She says I’ll get some of the next intake clients, but they haven’t gotten funding yet from the State. So, we’ll just wait and see how that goes … better for scheduling annuals at least.
Ok, now … important … is there anything that has to get done before I start on Qnotes?
I’ve got a couple of sister items, but I was just up there, they will wait for a bit. Ok, have to make an executive decision … do I do all those Qnotes starting today, or do I take care of those 6 hours of discharges and anything else client wise I can get in like 4 – Alma and call back to the Eskra’s. I suppose that – more pressing is to get those clients scheduled. Though not many of the tasks are things that I want or like to do. It’s already 10:15 am, but I can stay after work tonight. Sweetie Pie isn’t scheduled home until 8:30 pm. Ok, that means I’ve got 8 hours if I stay until 6:30 pm … why don’t I get started then … Oldest first and we need to remember how to discharge. I figure do one and the others fall into place. Ok, let’s turn around and check that out.
Hmm, ok … take a moment and breath. I’m burning up … have to check the air conditioner again. Sister just visited and we went through some things together from the list … Fortunately it looks like we have the circles program off the list until further notice, though I told her we might want to make a clean break and start July 1. She said then or September 1rst it doesn’t really matter … I didn’t say anything after that … because it seemed like a good deal. But, we will try to schedule it in by July 1. I like to start things fresh for our new fiscal year. She’s going to write the check to CSO right away, so that means, I should call by about Tuesday next week to make sure its ok for the following day – Maybe Monday.
Hmm just finished making notes. Check for the computer class will go in today so call Monday to confirm for Wednesday start. Stay on top of Noemi’s psychological date. Read Alma’s stuff – ask Cathy for a copy of her notes. Start the Annual report June Mon June 11 – Wed June 13 among other things. Ask Mrs. O for help with filing if I need it .. sounds like Sr. has forgotten she agreed to having Lupe working with me. It’s not filing … it’s giving her something directful to be doing. Discharge are first priority, but it doesn’t look like they’ll take 6 hours, but we’ll see. She didn’t like the video goal for Joel because we were paying for it, so that goal has to be re-written with the DSP. And, we need to make sure the STAR form gets filled in today with the discharging process. Ok, good sounding fine.
Maybe time to take an orange break.
Ok, ok …that’s done … let’s look more positive … what happened to the music? That’s better. Ok, Maribel … shoot I hate to close her out. She was one of my first three clients, almost 8 years ago now. Ok, we need to do this, right … simple business letter. Then do some copying.
WooHooo … we’ve got some work done … we did all three of the exits, the STAR form, and we went over #20 with the Annual Staffings … still in a preliminary stage. Now … looking over my list and noting that it is almost 4 pm – my go-home time, I can fold up now … or put in the original 2 ½ hours. If I did that … and I could because I’m good on food that would mean taking a significant task like typing up the behavioral minutes. Hmm, that be a pretty good goal. Would need to get a can of pop. Pretty sure of that … AND some water. Let’s check that list once more … thinking it would be a good time to call back Ms. Eskra, but we need to keep a tight schedule to accomplish a hard task like minutes so late in the day … Need to be calm and patient for that task. Let me check if there isn’t anything else … but think it be a good day.
Ok, ok … here’s the deal !!! We finished the minutes to the Behavior meeting. Woo HOO! AND, we’ve got 20 minutes to spare … definitely going home now. There’s not too much else to be said … Everyone is out of the building and the Sr.’s left me in charge … so we are going to be a good Ann and lock-up tight. Later!!
Letting Go Some Time ... It's an adjustment to being in Post-CARF
Good morning … we’re back again … still feeling groggy … but this morning I think some of that can be blamed on the alcohol that I drank last night … least it seems to be coming up on me. We drank 3 drinks … 2 Margaritas and a Kaluha-Chocolate Chip ice cream drink. Sweet!
We had planned a night going out with Sweetie Pie for yesterday and he had heard about this place that his son went not so far from our place. It was a Hollywood movie designed place with nice comfortable single seats and dinner served. Mostly though they kind of pushed the alcohol. All the seats were auditorium like, but there were long rows of tables too. The waitress came to get your orders starting before the movie, but they were back through it. Sort of like the Renaissance place close to here. Except there you only get one dinner and here they serve lots of stuff. Good appetizers and desserts and sandwich kind of dinners, but an interesting variety all named after different movies, stars, or directors. I could see going back again, but I’m not so sure about drinking so much … I don’t like this slowed down slushy feeling I’m having now.
Sweetie and us watched Spideyman. We are like someone way different there though … We had some trouble watching it … felt like we were absorbed and breathing it up, but we were scared and I’m afraid Sweetie might have clench marks in his thigh. It was INTENSE! We didn’t get too much other than that as to what was happening in the movie … I know there were like four things happening … something with Spiderman, and the black one, and the sandman, and his friend. That was a lot to keep up with … and there were two girlfriends. I can see how close we still are to all that … better not think too much of it for right now. Maybe later.
Ok, we have to concentrate here. How else was our weekend? Hmm, well it was sort of long and I liked that part. The first two days though were spent by ourselves. I didn’t like that all together, but it allowed us to do things we wanted to at the computer … so that wasn’t so bad. Sweetie Pie stayed out on Friday night … he went fishing with his best friend and a few of the others. And, then he got home around midnight or something and went to bed … and then he got up Sunday morning and had to leave by 7 am or so to see his son and his mother for the day. He got home about 11 that night. But, he was ours on Monday. We went to see the house, but it wasn’t going so good even on the way … we were trying to adjust to some of the negative thoughts. He didn’t say much of anything and never got into conversation with the realtor all the time there. I was pretty upset by the time we got to the car. I asked just to tell me what he was thinking … He wouldn’t say anything much about the place – a couple things, one good thing, two bad. And, then he said we should keep looking, and since the other place needed immediate attention if we were going to do something, I figured it was out. He didn’t like that there was a church parking lot going up in back of the place and that he thought the little woods beyond that would also be developed. To be honest to me the place felt smaller the second time through. But, the problem was of course my emotions on being let down. I know now that the things I was finding while decorating can be used on another place, but I know now that I won’t look again until his divorce is final… It was too much emotionally. It gets more complicated than that … but I don’t want to go down that path too far … think it’s a trap. The bottom line is that we are doing this together and it has to be the right place for both of us. I knew that unless he was taken with it on first glance, that it wasn’t going to work. So, we’ll see.
You’ve already seen all the planning that I went through on Saturday, so I decided on Sunday to try a different path. I worked on a longstanding project … the collection of our writing work in a book format. That was quite a bit of work, mostly because our on-line connection was bad. I tried several things and finally came to the thought that I could unplug the cable and get another ISP connection. That seemed to do the trick … but, we were pretty much into the day by then. I still was glad to have come to a solution.
We tested out doing something right from the Blogger account – back in November 2005, but then we found ourselves back to August, 2003. There is really a lot of writing … we managed to get through the first two months. There were about 85 different entries, but they were back in the days that there were only allowed 2,500 characters per entry. That comes out to about a page a post. I am surprised by going over the old work how much I remember as I am reading. It’s going to take a long time to put it all together … the part where we are figuring out what our life is all about. I’d like to hold a more collective idea. It’s a start. It’s like life barely happened before my father had died. That’s the point where we’d started blogging. We’re coming up to a 4 year anniversary soon. That’s a significant amount of time. So far in those 2 months out of 46 months we are up to about 125 pages. So, it’s going to be kind of a behemoth book. I figured we better get some more ink cartridges before we start trying to print that out. Part of the reason that it is so long is that we’re painstakingly including pictures. That takes some time. But, it’s the way I want it … I think it will be easier when we get to the Blogger ones, but for right now it means clicking on each one and saving it to Snagit and then to a file, and then opening the Word document and inserting each picture one at a time. Of course, it does give some pleasure to see the pictures again. I started reading some of the material, but it is a lot for me to do right now. We’re trying to get just into the part that it’s moving along and it’s an efficient project with interest.
I’m guessing that its going to be over 10,000 pages before its done. It’s going to take someone with a lot of interest to get through it all. I’m not so sure if its exciting enough to be making movies out of it. *Sigh* It’s pretty hard to make a million jillion dollars. Hehehe ok, maybe not that much … but as long as I get a couple copies out … I’m pretty sure that I will be carried forward in time. I keep thinking that its going to be my Granddaughters that will end up with the project, but maybe we could do it first and save them the trouble. I think we’ll have to start living more an exciting life for that. I’ll have to live through the thought that I can be a famous couch potato. *Sigh*
Ok, on to the business of the day … we didn’t write during the time the CARF person was here. It was too much pressure at the time and the time was spent in just trying to do the right things. We went in about a half hour early each day.
I think my first thought was that it was a disappointing experience. But, as far as the accreditation went, I think we did ok. There was a lot of recommendations, but none of them was too serious. She tried to minimalize them. Sister seemed calm enough so we were ok with that. The two big markers that were negatives were that she never mentioned performance analysis, barely put in a few words about the business improvement reports, and she didn’t seem interested in my computer system. Beside that it was just business as business goes. We had had a problem because of trying to get caught up with Qnotes. We had spoken to Dr. M about this … he had told us that it was a risk, there’s more but I don’t want to get into my morality at this point. As it turns out the surveyor never looked at my peers materials, nor did she talk to Rich or the other Q. That was a bit odd. She did say something nice to me in the beginning for my extra work put in. I thought that was nice of her. She didn’t need to do that. She did a lot of reading of material. What wasn’t there already, she asked for. Sister seemed pretty calm through out. It’s always extra tension to have people around, but the part I didn’t like was that the lady was making herself hard to read … you can tell she was relaxed around us – the center, but she wasn’t giving a whole lot of information. The last one talked more about our business. This one just gave summary notes at the end. She read off a lot of positive stuff and then the negative stuff. I took notes and will try to type them up in a little bit, because Sister has already asked for them. There was a good amount of information at the end, and as always, they are trying to get out fast.
I liked the lady enough … she had my respect for what she was able to do. But, I didn’t like some of her suggestions. Like she was real big on getting our clients to be doing work with animals – I think this was because the animals were so accepting. I don’t like that this kind of thing could be a recommendation. No where in CARF does it say that we have to get our people involved with animals. But, if we got a fish tank out of it … that would be ok. Pretty sure that sister isn’t going with the bird idea. Hey, she put that out not me! Sister doesn’t want to have dogs and cats around. That was something another Sister had tried.
I will include a copy of the notes I type up as to the entirety of what we were able to get down. This is the first Friday of the month, so sister is going to want the notes for the staff. When it got down to the brass monkey … I was the one to ask, well, did we pass? I guess it’s in the rules that she can’t say – basically, people have to wait the 4-6 weeks for CARF to make things official. But, when pushed, she did manage to say that she thought we should be able to sleep through the night. I took that to mean that we were going to be ok. We’ll just have to think the best of the situation. She didn’t seem as if she was going to make other recommendations. I think they read through most of what they are going to submit to the bosses.
Hmm, maybe we’re up to all that … just had a small orange … it’s almost 10 am and I’ve got the notes out. Let’s see if we can find some sense in all those 8 pages of scribble?
Hmm, just looked at those again … they really are a work of art. They clearly let people know where everyone was at … equally well done though, I believe, is the observations. I would give these to any police officer looking for our clients, because it really expresses the majority of their immediate ability. Ok, let’s go on…
In general, Colleen said it was a very pleasant experience. She said that she had easy access to all her materials and that she found it very pleasant being here and she enjoyed celebrating mass with us. She thanked us for making the stay enjoyable and commended us on having a great organization. She had found that all the people she talked to including the funding and parents had complementary things to say. There was little advise being offered by the people she spoke to.
Colleen then said she was going into the strengths first. She began with community integration. She prefaced this by noting the difficulty of our area being urban and poor and that that was challenging in itself. She said that we followed our stated missions and there was good strong communication with the individuals served beyond what was expected. Colleen also stated that we had very strong leadership. She said that we integrated our mission in daily activities and involved families in the community. We solicited information and had numerous accesses to input. She thought that the work showed organization and she also stated she enjoyed Town Hall – it was great!
Something was said – that I don’t recall concerning the Blessed Mary and staff members. She said in continuation that we were appeared to teach self-sufficiency and values and it was apparent that we worked together as a team. She appreciated that there were weekly staff meetings that allowed for plenty of input and she felt our program very structured and our assessments thorough. She thought our goals were meaningful and that it was good to see some of the work translated into Spanish. She also recognized the picture enhancements. She thought our level of concern over safety showed that we had clear priorities and that the center felt warm and welcoming. She stated that the program outcomes were clear.
Colleen said the center had a positive reputation and was responsive to the people we were serving and committed in quality as advocates and educators, which included our work with the State legislature. We were financially sound, well-managed, well-organized and complete. We received an exemplary performance because of our Personal Preference Interviews.
As to the business standards, Colleen reminded us that recommendations do not count in the data base, but are included as part of the survey. She says that CARF collected information in a data base that was weighted. She said this to caution us in keeping perspective over the recommendations given. CARF is a part of a quality assessment and to she hoped it would enhance our program.
There were no recommendations for the CARF Business sections for either input or accessibility. There was a suggestion to wrap the sink pipes that might be used by people with wheel chairs.
Toward the technology plan and information management, she stated that we had a good amount of information and did well with program evaluation, which she thought concluded with meaningful summaries. She stated though that we should look into broader security for the computers by installing firewalls and that if we grow bigger we should graduate into having passwords that would allow access to different levels of staff or administrator and that should be put in the plan. Our backup didn’t offer any specifics – who, where, when … we need to put it in a plan so that someone else would be able to access the information than if Ann were gone … someone needs to be designated. She said also that we needed a disaster recover plan in case all the computers were to crash. She saw the intranet as working into a positive change. If there were a brown-out, we would run into multiple problems – so think through a plan to recreate the data. She wanted to be assured that we were all backed-up all the time and to formalize the plan so that it was clear. She mentioned Norton as an example that could safe guard our system. She also mentioned that we should clarify rules on downloading. We could easily have someone come in to make the system better.
Our rights were excellent – no recommendation
We did a good job on health and safety. She suggested thought that we have an ongoing record of our driver’s records being checked – perhaps each 6 months – not a clear timeline, but ongoing. She stated that this might be something our insurance company or risk management could run for us. She stated as a consultation that regardless of the consideration in our tape, which said not to use the fire extinguishers in the vans, that by right of the standards, we should have extinguishers placed in all vans. She also stated that we should simulate, minimally on a desk top, a review of safety procedures.
Toward human resources, she stated that we should write-in when that the job descriptions were reviewed annually – just a notation, not even typed. She also said that that the Rich’s contract needed to be reviewed. She said this should be a formal evaluation. As a consultation, she stated that in our job descriptions, we should list the physical demands and that at current; we would have trouble legally with ours. We were to list things specifically like lifting and bending, or that the people we served could act-out. This protects us and assures that the employee understands. Also, as part of our performance evaluation, we could enhance the job functions by putting down more meaningful tasks that are being asked. There should be 6-8 major things for each level of staff – somewhat like is being done with the Q’s.
Under Leadership there was good accountability-responsibility, etc and no recommendations.
Under Legal, we should have had a procedure for what to do in case of a subpoena being served at the center. This was something that could be done by Risk Management. She didn’t think this would happen often, because we were a controlled environment (locked front door), but we should prepare for papers being served to the center, staff or people served. Colleen also had a consultation on reviewing and updating the by-laws and that the Governance Board Secretary should sign.
She said of the financial section, “What you did, who can complain. No recommendation.”
For program individual services, she thought that we showed quality in our in-services, and that the information applied to everyone. She said with this standard we did a superb job and again emphasized the Personal Preference Interviews. She said the records were very well done and it was easy for her to find everything – organized. Colleen said that staff was available to people in-house and within the community, but that we should still help them out.
She looked at two parts of the community standards – access she had no recommendation. Community integration she had one recommendation. She said that our vocational development focused on the workshop and that we should continue to explore more with community integration because there was so much to explore and as one of the staff mentioned – they act differently when out in the community. We should look at assessment and what we hoped to gain long-term. She thought it would be good to get more staff out in the community and bringing only a few people at a time. The more integration, the better – there are many opportunities and she talked about using volunteers.
Colleen then went onto talking about animal shelters and the therapy work they are doing with them – such as therapeutic riding. She said there were many physical and mental advantages and that the animals being used were non-aggressive and easy to interact with. It also gave the individuals an opportunity to care for others. It was here that she mentioned being in Group 4 and having watched Karen B. slapping Carlin for not doing what she said. The suggestion was made to move the hand rather than having slapped it. She said that the animals are very accepting. She asked us to look into opportunities to bring someone in for the afternoon, or if a staff had an animal to bring it in.
She then went on to mention special camps, churches, food pantries, child care, etc. Also that we should check in at the volunteer center and that many had long lists of organizations in need, but that we’d have to work with small numbers, but to get everyone involved. She said this would be great natural supports for 1 or 2 people at a time. She said that we should challenge the staff to brainstorm.
And then she said, “That’s it.” That it was a lot of information for two and a half days. She thanked us the opportunity to meet with us. When pressed in responding to the question of whether or not we passed, she said that we could sleep soundly. She said that she had not seen anything significantly wrong and that it was mostly little tweaks. She said that we could start making the small changes on our own time-line before CARF mailed out the recommendations, but that they were doing pretty good in sending out the formal letter in like four weeks. Thank you.
Dear Dr. Marvin,
This is me ... if you want to get on to the CARF part exactly read the attached file. It is the the final report. I guess they don't answer directly when you ask if you pass, but after some finagling, she said we should sleep well. It might take 4-6 weeks.
Now there is this other part where we're going for the next hour. I had to work hard this morning to type the Interview ... pretty much because I don't even want to hear the CARF word. Matter of fact ... the two or three times over the weekend when I heard it ... we directly went to something else. Didn't want to think about it in the least. To be fair the surveyor was fine ... she was thorough - though she did not catch my cheating. Actually, she was quite pleased with the books and especially the Preference Interview. But, in all the time here, she did not interview either Rich or Holly, nor did she look at Holly's files. I think she said something I caught in my notes toward the business improvement or performance analysis, but she did not let on or out much. She stuck to easier stuff. She was a good fast reader. It just seems there is so much information going into the lady ... there should be more coming out. She said there was a whole point system thing that CARF analyzes, but I'm not so sure we're getting anything of that back. The report will probably repeat most of the stuff that I've written down from the Exit Meeting.
I'm probably in general beaten-up with the whole process and in need of a break. Traditionally, I have to do the big annual report in June and start-up with the Annual meetings in July. Feeling like for now ... I have no game plan for nothing. I brought up the report on the exit thing to sister and she was talking about Imelda taking a vacation this week. Then I thought oh ... I should look into that ... so she harassed me for a second on needing to know how many days I have. When I looked, it said 6 days and then hearing that ... she pushed me to be taking it soon ... then specifically, next week. I don't know ... no plans made. Rich is always talking about doing something or taking off days together, but I am guessing next week is too soon to plan anything. I don't know just having the opportunity to be doing something is inviting. Just don't know what to do.
I guess I could use the time for trying to figure out how I can do things ... plan for the July work on meetings without Mirza, but I don't know ... Just don't want to think about much. The weekend was ok ... the first day I obsessed in the condo/apartment. If you looked in my blog you'd notice that we'd done a lot of window shopping. Rich was fishing again that day ... had stayed overnight Friday. Then he got back around midnight and left again Saturday to be with his oldest son and mother. I think the poor kids been feeling lonely. Rich says he doesn't have a best friend. That smarts. Rich got home at 11 pm that night. But, on Monday he was with us. We had an appointment to see the place in Elmhurst on Monday at 9:30. Rich was crabby about it going in ... talked about 3 words the realtor and thanked her for coming out on a holiday. That's it ... he left the other to me ... and because he wasn't saying anything I surmised we had a big problem. I told her I would figure out what was going on and get back to her. Rich said after getting back to the car that we weren't going to decide anything until after his divorce and that we could keep looking. I pretty squarely in the chin took that to mean that since he wasn't impressed to talk about the last place that we'd just been in that I assumed it meant no. He didn't say anything. So then I didn't. It went a while like that. I was more lost and disappointed than mad ... I knew going in that we'd both have to like the place. He just said that he liked the layout too, but he thought that they would build in the little bit of green that was left in back. That was it ... no more comments or discussion. I swear to God I will shoot myself before I look at another place - especially before the divorce. I did tell him that no one should expect that he could live with friends until after the divorce and that certainly he could look for a place. But, he thinks that if he does anything or if anyone knows he's living with me it will prolong the divorce. His family thinks he's living with Doug two blocks over. That be fine as long as no one bothered to follow him home, look for his car or hire a detective. It's all pretty obvious.
Pretty much that whole situation leaves me feeling frustrated. He is willing to throw all this money at his wife ... for her 34 years "devotion," but he's not willing to put some money down on a place to stay? Ok, ok ... those are my crabby feelings. The more grateful feeling is that he wants to stay with me. And, truth be said the place looked a little smaller to me than I'd remembered. I wasn't sure it would fit my couch. And, with two or three people in there it felt filled up. That's the truth part ... and I acknowledged it to Rich, but he took us out once then and once later that day to look at places. And, I didn't want anything to do with that. I told him that it was too soon. I had told him that I needed to get over the disappointment I had after putting so much energy into it. Chances are that there was feelings of disappointment from CARF too. I didn't give him much trouble though, because I really like Rich more than the disappointment.
After we got home, we both started cleaning opposite ends of the apartment. I was taking the top layer; he was focusing on the bottom. We didn't talk too much while it was happening. We just worked. He gave me a break in that I could still take my 15 minutes break between rounds and I used that to calm us down on the computer. Then there was some nice make-up sex :) ... I think I fell asleep for a little bit, because when I got up he was gone. I knew he was going to do some grocery shopping. Afterward, we planned on going out to a movie, which after 14 years was a first. His son had told him about Hollywood Blvd. Theatre in Woodridge ... I'm not sure if you're familiar with it. It's a place that serves food and alcohol in the theatre ... I liked that idea. It's sort of like that Renaissance place Medieval Times, but you get your choices ... mostly appetizers, sandwiches, dessert and drinks. Emphasize drinking ... *sigh* we had 3 ... Umm, then we had sex again ... no not there at home ... We had watched Spiderman ... we left clench marks in Rich's thigh. I think I was pretty tired. Don't remember, but Rich said he put us down to sleep.
The only other thing and something I might have to lean on is that I was working on the concepts of putting my "books" together. It doesn't have to go real publishing, but I wanted to make hard copies of all the blog writing over the years. I keep thinking that something is going to happen to me and I will be lost because nobody will know who I am or what I thought or cared about. I figure if someone puts me in - papers - in a closet for a hundred years someone will finally look at it and think I'm great. I don't know isn't this like what people do when they write ... hope someday someone cares? *Sigh*
Ok, we might be feeling a little depressed. Natural after a survey is over and the minds been wasted.
There was this one other part about Joe getting a job, but he's put himself into a mode where he's looking more seriously at target. He had two interviews at one store and they sent him to another, and there were two interviews there and now he's waiting for a call because there will be another interview. I called him just before writing you ... he said that he's working on this job so he'll just have to say no to the one offered through Rich and Sean. It made me feel totally defeated that my son would go into business rather than social service. But, I didn't say anything ... just ok.
Man I am feeling down. Today was the day the sisters from Italy came in ... the Mother Superior one. They were here when I got to work. So other than looking put together from that and some writing work ... nothing was accomplished. I really feel toward work ... BLAH! I'm thinking could I start vacation tomorrow? Probably am going to need a brain reorganization. Trying to baby those Weekends into the plan ... The next thought is to take off Friday and the entire next week, and then take a Monday at home ... that be a nice break. I think unless Rich offers something else ... that's about it. Just then I will miss the First Friday of the month meetings. That's probably pretty important. Especially, since so much of it will be weighted on CARF.
I think the only thing that could really excite me at this point would be to think of being a program manager instead of a Q. Sure be sweet if Joe could come work here. But, he's not interested in hard - no money - no respect for others in need. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Damn I don't want to have a vacation where I go no where and just stay home depressed. I don't feel there is nothing to look forward to. The next check goes completely to rent and car. Is it ok to cry?
Mi
Long Day - Lotsa Good Window Shopping!
Good morning. It’s late … about 8:30 am on a Saturday morning. We’ve been up for a couple of hours, but sort of just waking up … been hovering over into the news pages. Last thing we did was to pull up a picture of the place we’ve been looking at … Have we even talked about that yet? AHA! Checked that out and turns out we haven’t said a word.
There’s something that has come up since last Sunday after leaving to get the Joe. We were driving along on the way to his place when we noticed a nice looking building with condos for sale. I don’t know what gave us the nerve, but we stopped over there to take a look. As it turned out even on a Sunday at 2:30 pm, there were some models open and the realtor was down in the lobby, being just as nice as anything. Realtors are like that you know? Anyway we told her we were looking for a 3 bedroom, and she pointed out on a sheet of paper how they had just one left and would I like to take a look. We said yes we would. We figured we had about 20 minutes to time to pick up Joe and we were curious as to what we could get. The realtor had pointed out this model had gone for $359,000 and it was marked down to $329,000. We were pretty good about that because Sweetie Pie had switched interest over into a condo and he said you couldn’t really get much for under $350,000, so our thoughts there were … good deal.
Hehehe Fishy man just called. He was in a very good fishy mood. He’s out this morning with his best friend and this is the closest I’ve been allowed to him. He was just checking to make sure we were ok, and after he’d clarified it would be a 2 minute call, his friend started tickling him. We were all giggling I think. I think that was his friends way of teasing his buddy for talking to a girl. Rich was in a very good mood. We told him everything was fine and that we’d talk to him later. So all was good there. He’s never in 14 years let his friend know that I was there let alone talk to me in his presence … That was pretty darn cool. I’m sure he’s going to get some hell for that though!
ANYWAY!!!
So, we were headed on up to the third floor of the elevator where the condo was. The realtor let me go up by myself. I thought the elevator a little small, but it was fine … maybe just the foyer was smaller … not the kind that would have a door man. We’re talking suburbs here now … the only thing I knew of it so far was it was off Roosevelt and 294 and was on my way to my son’s place … actually on my way toward BOTH sons places. I can’t remember exactly what was on the walls leading to the condo, but I was very pleasantly surprised. There was some kind of nice arrangement with a light about every 10-15 feet and it made me feel as if I was in a real nice place. I opened the door to 306. First thought was that there was a lot of light I was looking in at everything all at once, but I remembered turning toward the living room and the big three panel door to the balcony … AHA! All’s good there! I remember there being a big picture on a tri-pod thing between the balcony and a French door to its right. I don’t think at that time … I had given the kitchen or dining room toward my right a serious glance … That was one of my favorite features of all those apartments we had looked at were double doors swinging into a library … and here we were looking at beautiful glass panels. We entered that room and noticed that it was nicely shaped and had a nice-sized window toward the same wall as the balcony. We spotted the closet, opened it and though hmm, pretty nice! There was also a door on the other side of the room and so we decided to go in that direction. There was a double closet door to our right after leaving that room and it was here we discovered a nice deep closet with washer and dryer hook-ups. We thought SWEET! We were then deciding that we would like to buy the place, but figured we should at least check it all out hehehe.
On the left side we spotted another bedroom … we remember walking in there and checking out that window and closet too, but it wasn’t the master bedroom and we were more eager to see that. We passed up a brightly-lit bathroom and pushed on to see the master bedroom. We liked the arrangement so far and it seemed the right combination of not too much space, but enough … It didn’t feel crowded. The master bedroom was a nice surprise. We found later that it measured 24 x 14 feet. Really cool. We stood at one end finding it had a long sense about it and that the bed would go down by the double windows closer at the end and that there was enough room at the farther end – by two more sets of double windows. I was thinking already that I could put my recliner here with maybe a small table and floor light, and perhaps even another chair to talk with our sweetie before bed. I thought it would be nice to have a reading chair and our bedroom chair in the same room as our Sweetie, even though we couldn’t be lying down with him, we could still be in the same room with him and the length of the room would give us each our own sense of space. That was very important. Just like it was important in scoping out the room with the French doors that I could fit all six of our bookshelves. I figured there that we would also be placing in there our computer and table. Everything was really working out. On the way out of the bedroom I remembered to check the closet. Pswhoo … really surprised there … it was a huge walk in closet that had hanger space on all three walls. Each of the closets had those white vinyl racks for hanging things – so that was pretty darn cool. You could get lost in this closet.
Next, what I remembered of the Master bath was that it was very large. There were the most beautiful cabinets to the right – and I thought they were maybe a little more masculine than feminine because of their simplicity, but the wood and finish were what made it beautiful. It was very solid, and a moderate color not ugly dark like in my apartment now and not that light pine color. Pretty much it was a deep oak. There was a heavy stone like counter that was all white with one basin and a long mirror over that with beautiful lights above … like maybe 10 across. The other thing that was noticed was that the cabinetry was high so you would not have to stoop over much to be brushing your teeth. The shower opposite was a double and it was a very clean walk-in. The stool was next to the cabinet on the far end, and across from that was a very deep linen closet with the same white-coated shelves as the closet. Nice! I went back into the hall and by that time I was getting pretty tired. I had noticed the sitting thing built into the shower, but I gauged most likely the realtor wouldn’t come up so I positioned myself to sit in the second bathroom. The bathroom had a matching cabinet like the other, but perhaps not as long. The light fixtures were a little different, but still designer lights all across the large mirror. In this room was the stool of course, but also a deep wide whirl pool bath … WOOHOOO!!! Maybe even I could fit in there! I settled down for a few moments trying to review the condo and how it would be that we could convince our Sweetie that this was the place for us. The realtor had told us some disappointing news in that there was only one assigned parking spot left, and then she had shown us there was more parking outside, though I didn’t feel it was a lot … I have to check that situation out better. I tried to make a conscious note to remember to look outside, but I didn’t want to keep the realtor too long.
I finally left the bathroom, checked out another big closet that turned out to be the furnace and hot water closet. And, it would probably be used for the broom closet. Then I finnnnnnaly walked into the kitchen … Seemed to blow me away … it had the same gorgeous cabinetry as the bathrooms although it was double paneled.
The counter top was dark maybe like a green marble and the appliances were stainless steel. The fridge wasn’t in, but I figured that was just out for the time being and there would be one in there soon. There was a dishwasher, double sink, disposal, oven, upper microwave and spot for the fridge. I noticed right away there would be room for a kitchen table, but even more wonderful was the open wall on about a 75 degree turn that allowed you to see the dining room and at the right angle you could see into the living room. That was a very important part of what I wanted too. It was important that the place have an open sense. And, I was getting that from the flow plan, open kitchen, French doors, and balcony. The walls in the kitchen had a little beige-tone, I think, as did the floor in the kitchen, but the walls in most the place were white. The bathroom floors matched the vinyl in the kitchen, but the rest of the rooms had a nice thick carpet that was beige and neutral. In the corner from the kitchen and living room was the dining room and it seemed a fair enough shape for a table. I’m not sure about a cabinet, because neither Rich or I own one. Maury Pat and his wife have one … so I had given them my grandmothers china.
That’s ok … we can handle that. Oh yes, one more thing … there was another closet by the foyer dividing the living room from the dining room. It wasn’t a big closet, but good size for guest coats and a vacuum. Maybe too a few of our folding chairs … just in case.
It didn’t take long before we were figuring out what goes where … you’ve seen some of that already. I know we’ll use our living room couch and we’re thinking that Rich might get a dining room table although I don’t think there are extra pieces.
Just chairs and a table, but something he picked out and rather likes. He wants to use the bed his mother gave him as a wedding gift so we’ve got to accept that. My bed would go in the guest bedroom and we’d have to figure out whether any of the other furniture in my bedroom was worth keeping. Maybe at least for a little while. The bedroom furniture doesn’t match in my bedroom, but it does in the present guest room. I’m emotionally attached to the bedroom set in my room, but the stuff in the guest room looks better to most people, though it should be painted wood colored instead of white with blue trim.
Hmm, have had a chance to look around trying to see how many pieces I could salvage. I think that the white/blue furniture could be nice enough to go in the guest bedroom. Thing would be to keep it empty so whichever guest would feel comfortable to unpack his or her things. I think that I would like to put my tall dresser in the guest closet for extra things such as an extra blanket, towels, candles, and writing paper, etc. And, I think it would be the right size not to interfere with their hanging clothes. I don’t think guests often bring too many things. I would like to put the big mirrored dresser in the main dressing room closet. I’m not sure if it would be too big, or whether or not the clothes would need all three sides. It would depend on how many more clothes Rich might want to have around and how often we plan to have sex in the closet hehehe. Ok, now don’t get silly!
I think though if it could be fit nicely, It would be nice to have the big mirror in there and the drawer space would be handy for underwear and such. Everything would depend and have to be more thought out. I thought for a minute about the fireplace mantel … Our thoughts are that Rich is going to try getting it thrown out, but our thoughts are that we could place it in the dining room if he didn’t have extra pieces. It would make a nice back drop and we could consider painting it or refinishing it to match … if we were to stay there we could think of permanently attaching it to the wall. I looked at it just now and I realized more than ever how much I love the piece. I’m not sure if Rich doesn’t love it just because while we were sleeping under it he thought it might fall. We won’t be having a real fireplace, but this really might add to the atmosphere. Maybe we could get a grill cover for the front to give it the appearance of being real. I remember the fireplace mantel in my ex-inlaws place and even though it was never used … it was beautiful. I think we could also consider getting another mirror on the bottom part to expand the sense of space in the dining room … I think it is tall enough that we wouldn’t just be magnifying chair legs. Ahh just as I thought. Horchow offers some nice screens all in the $2-400 range. There were a couple that were completely blocking the fire part and most more like grills to show the fire. There was a really nice one for about $340 that is a three-paneled piece of wood painted by hand with fire birds on blooming branches on a ground of antiqued silver leafing. It’s a beauty. It’s my favorite so far. Think it’s a pretty good deal. I’m still a little lost on how to finish the mantel. I would really like a permanent mount and it finished. Money, money … who’s got the money? I think looking at a picture now … the higher mirror might really reflect nicely the chandelier in the dining room.
I would like the Teacart to go perhaps next to the fireplace. I’m not sure yet where the treadle machine would go. I know the six bookcases and computer table are in that room … I’m still trying to figure out how it would fit to put Rich’s two chairs in the living room with the big couch set. I’m not sure how that will all fit. I think the couch will take up most the space and that we will need to get a wall TV next to the French doors so that the room isn’t any more crowded. I’m worried if the balcony door opens on a hinge if we’ll be able to fit the lounge part of the couch and still open the door. I figure that one My living room TV or Rich’s TV … I think he’s getting his could fit in the master bedroom AHA! Maybe the treadle machine there on an angle to the recliner chairs. That is one place to consider Rich’s chairs if they don’t fit in the living room. I’m not sure … really have to size things out, because the living room is only 15 x 14. I think another hard piece to fit in would be the tread mill. Realistically the only place it might or would have to fit is in the guest room. I’m not sure if they will appreciate that, and it might cramp space, but we would have to consider it like their own personal gym. And, that is where the second TV would go.
I would have to figure out which item to keep between the file and the contemporary desk. My thought at this point would be to keep the file and put it in the library closet and to give the contemporary desk to Joe. It was originally his grandmothers and it might serve his needs down in the basement or wherever he goes next. It is a nice practical piece for something although not a great desk per se, because it is too low for knees and too narrow for real work.
I’m not sure too if we mentioned that my kitchen table would be inside the kitchen and Rich’s dining room table inside the dining room. Hmm, I think that’s about it.
A lot of arranging. We’re hoping that the storage closet down in the garage is worthwhile of space, but we’re not counting on too much there. I’ve stuff to store, but would be willing to give up most because I think Sweetie Pie is going to need storage space too. I’m not sure how he would feel about my stuff taking up so much room. But, I’m hoping that I don’t have to get rid of things. I think of Maury’s place and figure he’s already got enough stuff so he wouldn’t be able to fit much of my stuff in. He doesn’t have a garage either, so that part would need to be considered. I think Sweetie Pie will need most of whatever storage for his fishing things. He’s someone that is used to having his own garage. He might have some tools too. Not sure about how much of that … we’ll check out the storage space on Monday.
I guess we should get back into that arena. We were having trouble getting Rich into see the place although I was telling him it was an ideal set-up. I liked the floor plan more that any of the seven apartments we’d looked at before, with the exception that this place was a condo and much better regulated without a lot of people in the building. Well, there is quite a few, but in comparison to the 18 floor place not too many. I believe the building holds 24-32 apartments. We’d have to check … The floor plan shows 6 units on 4 floors, and we’re thinking the two middle units could be 2 bedroom, but we’re not sure. Rich is pretty sure that until the divorce finalizes that he can’t purchase anything … and his court date seems to be about end of August. I would think he was right there and we told this to the realtor. We told her that Rich didn’t want to lead her on by coming to see the place if he didn’t think he could put things into motion. But, then on Tuesday, she offered something that helped to get Rich to agree to seeing the place. She said that her owner was willing to consider renting the place out and taking it off the market for a while and that when he put it back, we would have first consideration.
Man-o-man … we were flying about then and Rich finally conceded to seeing the place … He couldn’t arrange his time to see it before Memorial Day, but the thing was that he would guarantee seeing it. He had told me previous that he would make arrangements to being with me for that day … pretty much because he decided to go fishing two weekends in a row, and tomorrow he would be spending the time with his older son visiting his mothers.
That all was a pretty big deal. He at first said he didn’t think he could afford $1800 rent, but we explained that we would commit $1000, and he only had to cover $800. Plus, he would pick up utilities. He didn’t think we could do that, but we explained that we’re paying $870 for rent, $100 for cable and another $60 approximately for electric, which was just over $1,000. We told him he could take it under the table or we could set up a rent agreement to be paying him that much.
We showed him that over the course of the next 15 years … which is how much time I have before a regular retirement, I would have paid him $180,000 dollars, of a $340,000 place, which would be about 53%. He would own the home so he gets tax credits and business deductions. The home would be his, but we would ask that we be considered if something happened to him, like getting something that would say the mortgage would be paid off. We would also like him to consider ALL six kids if something were to happen to us and him and the money would be to go somewhere. So, it’s sort of like he gets it all legally, but my portion be considered in case something happened to him, so I could remain in the home, and if we both died or it was sold after he died that the kids would all share equally in the ownership or money realized. I’m not sure how he feels about all that yet. I don’t know if he wouldn’t want to if owning the building give all his portion only to his 3 kids or how that all would go, but I would definitely consider my portion to be worthy of something.
I think if anything were to happen to us, then I would simply leave and take my rent money with us. At that point everything would convert back to it is his place and that my rent at the time was well spent during all the time living in the home or with our hunny bunny. I didn’t start out with much … wouldn’t leave with much. I don’t suspect Rich as ever burning me in that direction.
There’s something else we need to consider, in that Rich hasn’t even looked at the place, and I know there will be some difficulty for him in not getting a place where there is more greenery. To be fair on this account, I looked at things more carefully. The place is in Elmhurst which is a fairly wealthy community. At first I felt bad because it was on the Southeast corner and not nestled in the center of town. And, it is close to traffic. Roosevelt road is a main artery and it’s next to the cloverleaf of another main artery – York Road. The space is tucked between some major travel centers of the Chicago suburbs. It’s got Route 88 going east and west, 290 going to the north and south, 294 going to the upper west and east, and 83 going to the western north and south. And, its just south of Butterfield Road going southwest to northeast. MAN O MAN … you can’t get any better than this for being someone to be doing a lot of traveling. For this aspect I thought it ideal. There is no more better central location that this. We would be moving again closer to our kids, we’d be close enough for the arteries toward work, although a little farther away. Rich would be close to either directions going toward his north, central, or southern work places, and he’d be closer and in better position to be reaching his son to the northwest and his other son to the south west. AND, he would be closer to his ball games, which he attends at minimum 3-4 times a week.
The troublesome part is that he can still hear traffic at a low level from the bedroom. I think this is acceptable because it becomes like white noise. You just get used to the sounds and it becomes its own melody. I like it because it reminds me of being a part of things and in the middle of the Chicago universe. He, of course, might just think it is annoying. Time will tell.
There too seems to be more development encroaching on our view from the balcony. I don’t think this is a problem for me, but it might make Rich feel penned in. To be fair, we decided to figure out what was in our other directions. Elmhurst itself like I said was a very nice, old community known for people with bucks. Nice postal address. To the west is the other suburbs including the kids, to the north is the town, and to the east is major arteries as explained above. Also directly to the east are a couple of very major big cemeteries, which gives you open green space with no industrial. Oh, one other thing directly to our north. There is Elmhurst Memorial Center which is a big place offering a lot of clinical and hospital services. That’s fine … nice to be connected to something important and safe. The big surprise was in the space toward the south … we’ll include pictures, but basically, you get a series of forest preserves, golf clubs, and country clubs because we are just north of Oak Brook, which is really another and maybe even more upper class society. It is more new money than old money and its Chicago’s major shopping artery. There are about 16-18 of these parks, golf, etc. So, our hunny bunny could be at his heart’s content. This is the exclusive good life that we know that he wants to be living in.
In hearing how dedicated we were becoming to this one place, Sweetie had taken us out one night and he drove through some suburbs out to the South of us. I could get what he was saying in being next to forest preserves, but I didn’t like the communities at all … One because we were further away from the boys, and for another, we’d never heard of these places. There were some mixing with poorer areas and they weren’t central to Chicago as I’ve always known it. We started off our Chicago life next to Oak Park on the west side within Chicago, then to Oak Park itself, which is very affluent, then we had a couple places within Oak Park, and then we moved way west to Elgin, and then further north to River Grove, then Chicago itself again, but closer to the big city though on the north end. Now in Brookfield we are the farthest south we’ve been, and because of the zoo being here, I have a sense of being not too far gone from main stream. I’ve done a lot of travel back and forth between Villa Park and Lombard, which is just to the west of where the boys are and where we used to rent hotel suites in this area when I was in MN and visiting the boys. So, for me I really believe Elmhurst is central. There is one more fond memory of it. We used to have a psychologist who was familiar with this area and to prevent a hospitalization we spent a week retreat in a hotel in Elmhurst before things started getting way overwhelmed in our marriage. So for me … it’s always been a fond memory.
Another aspect of this whole deal has been … just the part of deciding between apartment, condo and home. You know of me going through a couple of thousand apartments and having found 7 floor plans that were acceptable. What turned me off on those deals is reading of poor management and so although you see spacious apartments, you need to know you’re dealing with a lot of kids, broken elevators, and mismanaged care of units. I take condo life to be different. I also looked into homes for equivalent costs. I have to say though, we’re really really against the thought of living where we would have to do something about lawn care and driveway maintenance. Mostly because I can’t do it anymore and because sweet bunny doesn’t have the time. I’m thinking after all the homes we’ve been at that having grass that’s yours isn’t such a big deal, because in comparison really the amount of time at home is spent indoors. I feel for bunny not having deer eating his rosebushes, But, then I know that was a lot of work for him. You could always hire out to have people doing these things, but I see no problem in having someone do them and more for their $180 condo expense per month. I also like to maintain this feeling of living at the third floor WITH two major exceptions. Number one there would be laundry IN our apartment, and number two there would be an ELEVATOR!!!
Pretty big deal – no explanations necessary.
We figured that we would give hunny bunny the heated inside place, because the outside place is no big deal. He could help us if necessary with the car window scraping, and that would put him with the nicer car right next to our storage unit.
That’s what he needs for transferring things in and out of his car. And, especially, because he’s the owner of the building we figure between us … he deserves this special service. Another thing we checked into though was of getting right next to the door, a small bellhop type cart. REALLY, we checked into this about Tuesday. We would try to get one that was fancy enough that we could leave it somewhere in our apartment between dining and living room. This would be so that I could bring it down and help bunny get the things out of his car upstairs like groceries! This is a very big deal. I’ve seen him struggle bringing things in for us and I don’t like it in the least. And, I figure that as the two of us age, that we will want more ease in our ability to be getting around. I figure it won’t be too big a deal and that we can bring it down to meet him as he comes home from a weekend out or a shopping trip. It’s got kind of a romantic feel to it. The other nice thing is that there are garbage chutes on each floor next to the elevator, so it is much easier for either one of us to be emptying the trash. WOOHOO!!! One more nice thing about the third floor? Is that we have safety again for the kitties. It’s important that they be able to go outside on the balcony without having the fear of them jumping off. There is some missing of the fact that we aren’t on the top floor, so we miss the pent house sense, but we’re comfortable with the third – much better than first or second.
Another couple of things to worry about losing. One is the sense that our friend has of having to find a place with a view of Lake Michigan and the other is in not having a place that is more novel with interesting nooks and crannies, which will lead back to the discussion of not owning a house. As to the first. I know that it is a plush feeling to look out of a 32nd floor view of the city or lake, but living in the city direct, is something I would like to avoid. Even in a luxury place, it’s to big a scope for me. I can live in a little complex village of a few other condo’s, but I don’t want the big hustle bustle and crazy parking or driving. I am a suburbs person and will always be one. Plus I’ve looked at views of the lake … and although it is somewhat a romantic notion, I think that pretty much looking at Lake Michigan is like looking at a line across two blue fields. Unless you are going to promise me a place right on the lake where I can see sand, I think it’s no big deal. And, I know that living in one of those place, would be affording the same thing for a loft or one bedroom apartment as you can get out in the suburbs, and then it leads into the next part of the debate between new and not so unique, or old and intricate.
Mostly I am seeing new as in giving Rich AND myself NOTHING that needs fixing and nothing that has been used by other people. I like the fact that it has been designed well, and I can even like the part of it being on one floor. I like that the bedrooms circle the place instead of lining up on one end of the building or the other. I don’t like thinking of other peoples places that have been left uncared for. I don’t have the sense of this new place as having corners left uncared for.
I like the new walls and no finger prints, and no water stained or cracked walls. I also like the thought of our place as appreciating. By one calculous measure … our place would be like worth $900,000 some in about 20-30 years. Whoosh … sweet. I like the thought that if something happened to Rich that someone might come and help take care of me, but I wouldn’t be paying for lawn maintenance and someone else worried about all that. I like that the new places though are handicapped accessible. I figure in 30 years, I will be 77 years, with about 20 some left.
Hehehe. Well, actually, we haven’t gone as far to think that we’ll be living that long, but there is that possibility. I want a place where someone can come in and help me with meals and cleaning, but the sense that I still might have a place that’s mine. If Sweetie Pie makes it as long with me … we’ll consider ourselves more blessed than an angel. I hope for nothing other than to live with Sweetie Pie for the rest of my life into eternity. But, by the time I’m 77 … sweet cheeks will be 85 … I can be very certain I don’t want to be bothering him with household when we can be having in a housekeeper. He can continue doing the cooking, and knowing my bunny, he’ll still be out coaching or reffing little people. He’s so cool. I couldn’t have imagined a better partner to share life with. As much as I might complain of losing him on a fishing adventure. I love the thought of his interests in life and hanging out with the guys and being a man’s man. I could never take that from him.
OH OH … I forgot something else happened … I was in the bedroom with sweetie pie watching him pack for the trip, and he told me something. I don’t think I could ask for a Colorado vacation too at that point, but he said that if I got down to 200 that he would take us on a cruise. He said he wouldn’t tell me which cruise, because than I would obsess in finding a place to be going. I told him I couldn’t believe what he was saying because it was so amazing, but he said that he’d always wanted to go, but didn’t have someone to go with. I figure he meant to say that it wouldn’t have been appropriate to take with a mistress, but a girlfriend would be different. Man – that whole thing hasn’t hit me quite yet. I haven’t the faintest idea which direction we’d go … there would be in consideration Alaskan, Hawaiian, Caribbean, or European. Man … what a thing that would be!
Wow that’s pretty huge … I would want something 10-14 days … and the cost would be like $3-400 for two people depending for the princess line depending on where you were going and whether or not you had a sitting room, but I wouldn’t take anything less than having a balcony. Shoot … you’d be getting a shower too. Man-o-man what a trip … you’d be like getting overnights on ship, and then during the day you’d be at some place where you could be like taking tours or being just around for like 4-8 hours. You could go from island to island or city to city like Denmark, Sweden, Russia, Germany, and back to Denmark. Pretty darn cool. My head is just swimming.
Be a lot different than when in college and you’d sleep on just open chairs or floors. Man o man could you be like in the lap of luxury. Could we really do something like that? I might never want to come back home! We’re talking like $5000 and it wouldn’t cover the cost of air fair. Oh Lordy what trips they would be though. Let’s see … how much to Denmark round trip from Chicago?
Hmm, ok … we’re settled into thinking of this now … at least enough so we’ve looked around and think its going to cost $250-300 per person per day, and we know that … we now have a travel agent in mind. There’s a company with a lot of years experience on Archer the street in Chicago I take home from work every day, called Travel Forum just a block west of Oak Park Avenue, or 7 to 8 blocks east of Harlem.
I talked to a nice lady named Dianne who said she could of course give me a better idea after I came in. Hours are 9-7 pm Mon and Thursday, 9-5:30 pm T, W, and Friday and 9-3 pm on Saturday. Better put down the number here too in case I forget … 773-586-8843 (6835 w. Archer Ave). I’m pretty sure that would be some kind of a car shopping experience where we better not think too far ahead without Rich. We told her it was an agreement toward working on weight. She agreed it is much more promising with an end-goal in mind. We agree. Dusting off my palms now.
Pshwoo … ok where are we at all that. She said that a trip could be planned around my walking and she quickly picked up I don’t need an accessible room, because its for more like walking on and off the ship. I’m pretty sure Rich wouldn’t like the idea that the wheel chair is going with us, but its kind of like a fact of life.
Speaking of … I wonder if we’re going to leave the house? Today?
There that’s better. We shut off the air and opened the door. I guess we didn’t really need it and our feet are cold. Missy liked the idea of an open door and birds too. It seems like kind of a cool day out there. Definitely overcast. I have to tell our friend mogul that since he last talked to me about being very poor … that we get the new apartment first! I don’t want to look at a cruise deal before we look at the condo/apartment first on Monday. Did I get as far as to tell you that? The condo person saw something likely in us. I guess he is considering taking the place off the market for a while and renting it out. That would definitely be something I am interested in. Rich says nothing happens until after the divorce though and I’m not sure how long this guy would hold out. I think he’s looking for someone to get in there soon. I think he’s had the thing on the market since August last year. He probably had a lot of them, but this is one of the few remaining. The realtor said that it would cost about $1800 a month and we’d have the first option to buy when it was placed back on the market. That’s all of what got us so excited about the deal. It be a nice upper level thing to do.
Unfortunately end of August seems like September so we’d have June, July, and August to go through. I just know these people aren’t going to wait that long … they’d be foolish.
I decided to skip a turn in arguing out the case, because I figured that the first time he hears anything he’s stronger against it than the next time. I told him before, but will remind him again that his ex and lawyers can’t expect him to be living just at friends’ places until the divorce is over. She’s got a place … He needs a place. He also talked that the lawyer doesn’t really want him living or seeing me, because he thinks that is going to prolong the divorce. It might be so, but I was proud of bunny for telling the lawyer that it is not possible that we be seeing each other. But, I feel cautious none-the-less. I think he can put down on his papers that he’s renting the new place for $800 a month and skip the part of my $1000. Or he can for the hell of it tell them he’s renting at $1800. I think it’s a better deal if we put down that I’m paying my fair share, but the point is we can live together there as well as we are living together here. It would take some separate figuring on how to get out of this lease – which might be just losing the deposit, and how to move over there – which is like hiring movers. THE END! No big deal … Change the mail box addresses. We basically say this was a nice one person apartment … we are now going to rent out a two person apartment. A lot would depend I think on how much time we get before he tries to put the place back on the market. Or in other words, get Rich on his financial feet post-divorce. AND, we can’t quit to forget that Rich hasn’t seen the place and might have different ideas.
I think we forgot to go into completely the part of what it means to not own a traditional home beside not cutting the grass. There are so many different homes, it is boggling to the mind to imagine all the different varieties they come in.
It’s not quite the case for these new condos. We’ve got the Dove Plan on the one were looking at. In its own right then it is a cookie-cutter model. My big thing all those other years was to get something unique and different. Now all of a sudden I’m going for something no more intricate than a French door and a couple of lamps. Well true, and then those nice cabinets. I’m letting go of all the wooden nooks and crannies that I’ve so loved and was reminded of by the fireplace mantel.
I loved the Victorian home because it had so many possibilities. Each room of the 18 represented another opportunity that I was never fully allowed to explore. The time we finally pushed out unto the entire first floor, my ex vacated the building and we soon had to sell. Truth be told I love the oddness, with the only restriction, I hate a mess. I know I can dissociate more than most so I can ignore a good mess, but if given the choice I’ll always take the neat deal. Hmm, maybe that could inspire us to do some cleaning up around here before Sweetie Pie comes home? Maybe … it would be a nice thing. His bedroom is clean, maybe I could do the same in the living room?
Hmm, that was another thing, I didn’t know if he was going to mind. In some of the other models, they have islands, and there is no island in our apartment. I might miss not sitting on a bar stool on the other side of Rich’s cooking, but is it enough to turn down a plan, or wait until another model opens in the new building?
There is another plan called the Astor that I’m thinking about and I think one more called the Bennet. Why don’t I give that another look.
Ok, ok … it’s now about 3 pm. I’ve been gone for a while. I looked at all the other houses listed on a 6 page sheet in Elmhurt for the same price range of $250-350. I didn’t like the houses at all and I walked away with a real firm belief that I didn’t want a regular house with a family room. It’s hard for me to understand this, but I felt resentful for the thought that I could entertain people down in my basement. There is something about the moisture and lack of windows that makes it a very uninviting place, plus I was very sure I didn’t want to get into a situation like with rich and his spouse where one of them claimed the living room and the other claimed the family room. I do not want to set up separate existences. Even with the idea of a living room and library, the key factor has always been those double French doors. Even if closed they were glass and would assist in that open air feeling that the apartment has.
I did spend more time looking at the matcher apartment that is just being completed next to ours. They used the same floor plan, but the building I want has a prettier warm red/beige stone where the other building is white cement like. I also like much more the entrance way to our building because it has a nice welcoming portico where the opening to the other is too much simplified. But, to speak in favor of the other building, it has only 24 units where ours has 32 … That means that most likely since they are lookin the same on the outside that there are in our building four three-bedrooms on each of the corners – 16 condos, and four two-bedrooms on each floor – 16, where the other place has just three-bedrooms six on each floor.
To make up this difference … our condos have a little less space. Their big model has 3 more feet onto the living room, 1 more foot on the library room, and a whopping 5x7 foot onto the kitchen. Granted at this point that apartment is listed for more, but not by much. Those extra feet could make a lot of difference, and it is my assumption that that big kitchen has an island. What we cannot assume is that the other condo has the nice walnut cabinets and French doors, and we can’t assume they would rent us the space like the first until we are ready to buy.
Pretty much … I don’t like the white cement look as much as the others, but seriously that nice large kitchen with island something to consider. Most likely it will be next to go … that is the design I’d seen before called the Astor, and I’d feel a lot safer bringing in my big old couch and think that there were enough room for Rich’s chairs and what not for the library. Another thing both these places have that I recognized as liking before was that the balcony’s were inset not outset. The other ones seems to me to be like slabs at this point. Something you’d see out of bedrock. The inset balconies give the whole place a feeling of warm privacy and seclusion. There is something to be said about the equalness of all three bedrooms. The chance of getting riff-raff is lower if all three bedrooms, because it is that level-up people that can afford the extra room. And, to be honest having 8 less people to share common service of lobby, elevators, and garbage might be more advantageous. BUT, our building has the better realtor, and my guess is they’ve gone the extra expense in ours over the others by just that call alone.
I don’t see Re-max out there putting together 12 page colored brochures up for their investors. They don’t even have pictures of the rooms. I’m sure that all their customers were sent over to our building to share the pictures. The other place is probably a little more than a couple hundred square feet larger, which would be like getting a room for free. Gotta think how much difference would it make?
Hmm, we’re back. It’s about 4 pm now and we’ve been doing some more looking around. I’ve figured that if we were going to put an island in we would have to do one small enough to avoi the corner wall with the light switch and opening the fridge door. Instead we thought we could just skip it for the time being and allow that space – the dented wall to be used for the backdrop of the bell-cart we were looking at. We did a lot of searching for the right one the other day … and came up with the mini-bell cart used by hotels and other smart condominium users. See you couldn’t do such a thing at a home, because there are always those nagging stairs leading up to the home. In a condo though we could bring it up and down the elevator and most likely out to the car, because the spaces are most likely wheel chair accessible. This way, neither Rich or us needs to carry up the heavy loads, whoever is up just brings down to the first floor whatever it is that needs to be taken. There is a gold model and a stainless steel model, and although the kitchen is stainless steel, I think the accent in the dining room is gold. I think this is a critical must have item. This is what is going to make it all worth while for poor rich who has been carrying up all those heavy bags of food. And, I think it is beautiful enough to use as a decorative item of discussion. I also like it because it gives me the feeling of being in a five star hotel. I want us to be living the life of luxury. How do you think it looks in relationship to the fire place cover?
… Well gold bronc it’s all the same. Hehehe … pretty close matchers. I don’t think we have much other choice. Ok, good we’re doing good today … spend $239,000 for a home out of Rich’s money, then cap it off with another $1000 worth of necessary capstones. Now that I have the birds blown up, I really love them. I hadn’t seen them clearly before. And, in the big picture the panels definitely look gold.
Ahh here we go. We brought it down. We really need to finish up the mantel. It would be nice to do it in whatever color the kitchen cabinets were, I
suppose. Man oh man … it’s what the mantle always needed! I think too that we’ll need a couple of tall plants on either side of the mantel. It will have to take the place of a china cabinet. I’m pretty sure Rich doesn’t have one of those coming over. Hmm, thinking now … and I wonder if there wouldn’t be enough room for the sewing machine and treadle on either side of the mantle. That’s a lot of wood, and then we would just need to get some plants in there that sat on top instead of on the floor. We still would need to get a tall plant for the corner by the French door, and maybe an arrangement under the hanging tv set. We have to be careful though because that would be next to the heating and cooling vent. Sure be nice to have an inside fountain! Might have to consider too if Rich has more than six chairs. Pshwoo it’s hard to decorate in thin air! If the table is shorter, we could always offset the dining room with the teacart next to the serving wall.
Rather not do that though … better that someone could walk up to the wall and hand over. Boy wouldn’t this look nice against the wall holding the wall tv. Right between that and the French doors. Thank goodness they open up toward the room or we’d have a big mess!
I like the idea of mixing some old with new. The clock is a perfect offset of the TV. And, very important concept to be watching time during the commercials! Hehehe … I know … now we need an accent table over the grill so that it is not so apparent. Let’s see what we find. Hmm, really nice wrought iron, but $1400 is too much for a half table.
Wow!!! Just found something … Wouldn’t this be GREAT!!! It’s called an Iron Urn with Tuscan Tole Leaf Wall Grille. It’s antique brown Iron & tole. The dimensions are 44.5” w x 34.5” h … I think it now goes on the must needs list! This is it and it would sit about floor or base height over that Yucky grill in the living room! AHA! There’s madness in my step … I LOVE IT!
Isn’t it absolutely gorgeous!!! And it’s only $140. It’s damn perfect! Now we can go back and look and wrought iron consuls and they don’t have to be filled in the middle. Remember Ironstone Imports Design Center
Woo Hooo … and look at this one I like this too as part of a clever plot … I could see two of these matchers at the head of the dining room to the right of the fireplace INSTEAD of a formal picture.
The shelves slide out but that might hurt that plant in the lower left. Let me see … size is 24.25”w x 8”d x 44.25” h. That would be a beauty … we might need one lower than the other though. We could attach some kind of little grow light maybe?
I want to give Rich plenty of greenery to be taking care of. We might want some hanging baskets by the divider too. Not too much to close things up, but something pretty to add color. These planters by the way are $229. I love the continuation of things being like open … and its really nice because otherwise the dining room and kitchen do not have windows, and this would be fully accessible to both.
Ok, ok … this might be my last shopping item for the day.
Wooo hooo. How would all these items look together? I’m thinking at 60 inches wide and 20 inches deep AND 40 inches high for the server … that we might want to put the clock on the corner space instead of a plant … or it could be behind the on the end of the couch on the long wall, or even on the dividing wall to the dining area from the door … but that would depend on the looks of Rich’s dining room set. I’m again at one of those places where I don’t want to give up a thing. The idea of a server is perfect for that space next to the French doors and in front of the grate … most of it shout be away from the grate, but I think the urn will still be in back of it … most likely just finishing up behind the open space by the pillars. I’m thinking we’re a little leary about the clock by the balcony because it’s too close to the wind and could be hidden or overshadowed by curtains. Ok, leaving this last site, but need to remember we got there from the Kathy Ireland Standard furniture first lady series and that our set is called Fontaine. Whoops after long search, we found our server for $916 at Kathy Ireland AccentWarehouse.com
Ok, we’ve got our talking in with Deb … she told us about her mall shopping, but then she gave us a chance to talk about our window shopping. It’s just what I like to do. Even better when I can purchase, but for now we’ll let things go. I really had a hard time finding this place with prices, but I was excited to do so. I figured that if I wanted the entire dining room set it would cost around $4500 and that would include the table 6 chairs, buffet, hutch, and server. Then if I threw in another $5000, I could get the sleigh bed, a nightstand a bureau and a chest, with mirror and a TV entertainment center. WoooHOOO could go the complete Fontaine set … be living in luxury and for just under $10,000!!! This is quite the deal.
This has it all and for a special price … matches with the walnut cabinets … actually its got a cherry finish, but it seems very compatible. AHA! The mission statement of Kathy Ireland seems to be … “…finding solutions for families, especially busy moms.” She’s got it all. Fitting family budgets seems to count.
Woo HOO … just found out that my store willing to let me have it all for $10,000 ships free. I wonder if you took the whole line if they’d give you some kind of deal … Like out the door for $9,000? Be something to consider. Oh man oh man … they’ve got financing so you could get a large purchase over $50,000 … umm for the record we’re pretty sure we couldn’t do that. BUT, it’s an important consideration. Basically, could I at least get my $916 item. Hmm?
Oh man I shouldn’t have kept looking … I found this fantastic cabinet for wine that is very small for only $555. It’s got room for 18 bottles of wine. We looked at portable bar things, but I felt it really wasn’t us. We could always put a couple of bottles of something over the fridge. But, this one is just perfect for the corner in the dining room by the entry door. There is just a little nook without anything in it so far. This is old fashioned and continues the pillar idea, but is more simple, which would tie in the tallness of the fireplace, teacart, and treadle. And, it’s a good color match with all the above, walnut and cherry. It has a place up above for stemware storage, a small serving surface … a little drawer for bottle opener and corks, and again little squares to store 18 bottles of wine … 3 across and six down. Ok, good … that’s also at accentwarehouse.com. Let me check to see if there is anything I missed. Nope … considering all in all especially the simplicity of the dining room … this is the best one … AND, I happen to like it. It is officially an etagere, but I don’t know how to pronounce that.
Oh man, oh man … I was closing down screens and I came across the first item I found that clued me in to Cathy Ireland. It is her Eden Bakers Rack. I like it MUCH, MUCH more than even this last one here. I’ll show you, and then next to it, I could stack the two windows boxes. Man WHAT a WALL! AND, the price is less! Here let’s put it together.
Isn’t that quite some wall? I think the dimensions of the Baker’s Rack are 54”w 78” h x 18” d at $476 and each of the windows are 24.25”w x 8”d x 44.25” h at $229. I think that it looks like the cabinet can hold about 12-14 bottles of wine, plus ALL those other shelves! We can have on the main shelve a basket for the corks and corkscrews, the bottles below and we can put some more platters down there as well.
Instead of plates though, I think we’ll have more flowers and greenery. We’re going to give Rich a year round garden. We better check on some grow lights. Oh that wonderful bakers rack is from furniturebuzz.com. It’s like I said another Kathy Ireland item – model: 17582 – Eden Bakers Rack. Hmm, the wrought iron goes right next to the sewing machine and the light hearted tea cart fits right in.
Ok, we’re making progress … it’s about 11 pm now and we haven’t taken the nap that sweetie pie had asked us to take, but we figured out a grow light system would cost about $450 and we are looking at growlights.net. We went with a 600 w HPS Premium White Maximizer which includes the ballast, reflector and lamp. We upgraded for $25 to include a special Hortilux 88,0000 luments light. I think that’s all you need, although I’ll be danged if I know what happens with the ballast … I just know that it’s a part 1 and 2 of the process. It is supposed to cover an initial 6 ½ foot and then. Hmm, we figure we’re going for Sun System, Maybe with the 600 Watt HPS Sun System 1 w/cool sun xl refector bulb included from Bestgrowlights.com for $424 hard to tell … where’s Sweetie??? Shouldn’t he come home … He’s going to say something maybe about the beer?
Oh man oh man … Sweetie Pie is home … we just put him to bed … he listened to us babble for about 10-15 minutes as we were rubbing him, and he said uh huh, uh huh, then we stopped talking for a few minutes and Sweetie Pie said, zzzzzzzzz. Hehehe he’s so silly … He said his friend’s daughter was in an accident … not severe, but he got in about 3:30 am and said to our fishy friend let’s go. My fishy friend had only went to bed about 11 pm. Two silly fishy friends fishin. My baby spent part of the time getting rained on, but yet the brave souls fished on. It was the fishy mans secret code of honor. He said he has to leave about 7 am tomorrow so we figured he really had to get some sleep. After listening to him snoozing, we got off the bed and pulled the covers over him, but that woke him up … and just like us he asked for his smooches. That’s what we do last thing before he tucks US in.
And, then he said something about turning on the CD. The green light was already turned off. The sound is of his rain and thunder. Maybe that’s why fishyman fishes in the rain. He just doesn’t know any better to come in from it. He does the rain in his sleep.
We figure we might turn in too. Nitey nite!
