Ayn's Multiple World: February 2009

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Guess Where Thom and I Went Today

Someday I might get in trouble for this ... but found some interesting pictures

The first picture is my ex playing Risk with Maury and Joe and the second picture is Alex and Joe. Still working over all the feelings, but appreciate we're still somewhat connected although pretty sure we're following stalker rules by now.

Friday, February 27, 2009

How I Do Like My Days Off

Good morning … this is me. I can only guess that you are you. We’re up, but it is later today. It’s almost about 6:30 am. I should probably then go get my medicine soon, but let me stretch out my fingers here for a bit. K?

I had gotten up earlier to feed the kitties and then since it was about 3 am I went back to bed with cozy bunny. He’s just so cool. But, then when he woke me up at 6 am still thinking I was going to work, he’d actually woken me up from a nightmare.

I only remember a few parts … like the last one we were with people in a prison that was built like out of an old castle and one woman had jumped to a window and was going to break out, but somebody in back of her harpooned her and she crashed through the glass and fell on the ground below.

Yup, yup it was that kind of nightmare. There were other parts that involved family more immediately, like that of my cousin Deb. She was at some kind of dining table and there was something bad happening, but now I don’t remember what. I think the whole dream stuff has already started to close down from my memory. Best most likely to let it go. Something too of my brother torturing me with something he was going to rip something very valuable to me and there was this slapping part … let’s not remember ok, girls? Let’s let it go. Please!

Sorry didn’t mean to come off that harsh just starting to feel the crankiness that comes with nightmares. I don’t want to be going there and thinking through the old family connections. We had had some good memories and I think they got mixed with the other elements that aren’t so sane. I know it’s most likely me that’s insane, right? I don’t want to go there though either. Legally, I don’t think I qualify under that term … hard to say if it’s even used anymore. I’m not even sure if people would say I have a disability in that I work so don’t qualify for disability, but then even if I’m not “crazy,” I am mentally disordered. That’s a whole strange lot of thoughts that I probably don’t want to get into either.

Hmm, how to jump that whole boat? Maybe we’ll go in and smooch kissy face and take our medicine … It’s definitely time. K?

Hmm. Ok, back … still hanging around the MP.com site. Well, that’s after hangin around Sir Sweetie. We played with him until he whined I HAVE to focus on work and you’re not making it easy! AHA! That was my goal!

Ok, maybe we weren’t being fair to him, but we were having a good time distracting.

Hehehe

Hmm, there is a noisy kitty making a mess in her bathroom … that can’t be a good thing. What’s up with that?

Ok, we’re having focusing troubles again. Concentrate, concentrate!

We’re looking at those couple of small fuzzy animals that Rich got us. He certainly did characterize himself well. One looks like the fishy guy and the other is a tiger as in he’s got a real tiger in his tank. WooHOO!!

Hmm, ok-ok … we’re not getting far here. Why don’t we at least think through yesterday? Oh one important thing … have I mentioned that we’ll be staying home today? It was a long shot, but we wanted to make ourselves available to Thom JUST in case he got some time to visit. I don’t think that’s going to happen, but we’re banking on an outside chance.

We tried to find him yesterday by contacting him on phone and text, but there was no response. I then tried to get a hold of him through the brothers, but they didn’t have any word on where he was. No one had been in contact, because Thom wasn’t responding to connections trying to be made.

I finally decided that I should take a chance and call Alexis and it appears that’s where Thom was at. Long story short, arrangements have been made so that we most likely will be having him over to diner on Sunday about 5 pm. I was frustrated that I had to wait for so long and I was frustrated that he wasn’t talking to me direct.

The arrangements had been made through Alexis which was fine, but I felt disconnected from Thom and that didn’t make me feel so good.

I left messages with the brothers saying that arrangements had been met and indeed Thom’s been with Alexis these last couple of days. I guess I’m disappointed in that I just don’t understand why he’s been so standoffish. I think that going through deployment has got to be a monumental feat, but I’d have preferred if Thom was in more communication than in less.

Hmm, we’re back again … it’s now about 8:45 am and we’re reprocessing the morning.

About 7 am we just zonked. We were doing fine and then we absolutely needed to go to bed, but I’m not sure why. I guess someone in the system was tired. I don’t think the extra rest did any of us wrong. We’re more relaxed now I would like to think.

At one point of us sleeping the kitties got into a fight and they were hissing at each other. This doesn’t usually happen … in fact it almost never does! They must have maked-up because they’re now both sleeping in the back room. Pswhoo … it was touch and go at the moment.

Rich was in and out and now is in again. He had been working in the kitchen on his computer and I think bills, and then he had to go to the bank to make some deposits. Lucky I was here; because he seems to think his house keys are at work.

Wow! That be a problem if he locked his computer where he couldn’t get at it. But, things are normal again and he’s making his business calls. That guy can really work!

We’re trying to upload a video on the blog of something that was very cute that Vickie sent this morning. I hope that works. Other than that … not much else going on. Thinking I might have to make some more coffee pretty soon. Yes, it’s just that exciting here this morning.

Let’s clear-up yesterday. Hmm. Well, I think we did stuff, but not sure what … that’s no way to operate. There was stuff I am remembering though about the sign language stuff. I know now the signs, but on two of them I have to be looking at the words so I don’t get behind on the signing or mess up. I hope that corrects itself because we’re like a little less than a month behind the event. The worst that will happen is that I have the words next to me on a little podium. I have to admit I was more impressed last year with Candices job she’d done on the music portion. I thought she knew the material well and kept the group in sync. I don’t have a lot of compliments for her, but I give her more credit than Sr. might have given her.

We’ll have to see … Sr. decided this week that it would be confusing to have Holly doing the signs, because Holly was wanting to change things up. Sr. knows that I have everything and she doesn’t want to confuse the group. Holly may have known more on signing, but she’s not had the time with the group.

Yesterday, I worked with Group 1, and then knowing that I wouldn’t be there today, I worked with Groups 2 and 3 too. I was really happy with Group 1 in that Sr. came in and thought we should try it to music. She went out of her way to get the music working and then we did the songs a couple of times. It’s really coming along nice … just in that it was the first time for the music when we knew the words and we were getting it. It is going to take a while longer before the group gets it, but I have hope. I need to be more aware so we can work with each group a little each day. That’s got to be the goal if they are all to be comfortable with the music.

There are the little super stars in each group that are getting it … and we are enjoying their interest especially.

Hmm, is Rich making more coffee? Shoot don’t think so.

AHA! Rich was getting ready to leave apparently, because now he is just gone. A little sad when he leaves, but now maybe we can do something sneaky. Hmm. Sneaky … what could we do that Rich might not be happy that we’re doing? I’m thinking fudgsicles here. 9 am fudgsicles? WooHOO!!!

Ok, we’re back again. It’s almost 10 am now. We’ve been off doing whatever and especially reading. We read most of the week’s notes. We don’t usually do this, but this morning there is a sense of having some time and breathing space.

I’m not sure what I gained, but there is a sense of yes, I can understand what had happened and how I’d been thinking of things before. Some of it hurts though, like I can see my optimism in the return of Rich and Thom, but then there was some pain in that too because they were at places other than I’d hoped. Both cases I’d been upset they had been in real negative emotions. There’s a little feeling here of being abused by it or that Alexis is being abused by it.

I’m not thinking anything toward the order of what happened when I was a kid, but negative just the same and to some part self-degrading. It was like our males weren’t handling something of their life so they made the situation hard on their females. I don’t know why that happens, but I can feel the affect. It’s probably part of a victim cycle that had been familiar to us from our pasts. I’d like to think that Rich and Thom are pretty great people and show a lot of kindness and respect.

It’s just when they get frustrated then we seem to step-up or be put on the plate.

I’m not sure if there isn’t other ways to be doing this. I can think now of Dr. Marvin talking about transference where there problems become now our problems. I’m pretty sure Alexis is right in that he sees that Thom’s behavior could have come from his father. I’m not sure what she sees into this, but I do remember all the yelling. We’d try to yell back, but it wouldn’t stop until we were submissive and worked through THEIR anger.

It seems that most the family females I know had some kind of abuse in their background. So, I’m pretty sure this is what they mean by watching it repeat. I think it’s going to be harder on Thom and Alexis in that for one … Rich is pretty soft in comparison. He’s never done the big thing on threatening like I remember with my husband. But, I can see it major with Thom to be threatening divorce or being with other women or driving 120 miles an hour … those are all things that are way overboard.

I don’t know … this conversation is too frustrating right now. I think we’re going to have to take it down a bit and focus on it later. Especially in consideration of this being a Dr. Marvin night – we still have an open invite to the kids and I will call and leave a message with Thom in a couple of hours, but basically some of these more emotional things need to be figured out. I’m of no help if I fall into similar patterns as they are doing. I think I’m out of this kind of cycle like I believe Alexis thinks, but then I just went through that part where Rich got angry about me not figuring out the taping of his show.

It’s not with Rich so much that he yells, it’s just that he puts pressure on the situation and wasn’t able to back himself off. Sorta … actually, I knew he was backing off because there was no going forward with the vulnerability we were showing. We had felt good about managing on our own and then that frustration from him onto us and our abilities was very overwhelming. I think that’s a good thing to remember between Thom and Alexis is that he can be overwhelming. Maybe this is a better thing than thinking abusive, although it would seem to be a fine line. The thing about being overwhelmed is that you have someone on the opposite side over-doing it, and it is inclusive of someone who’s may or may not be strong, but is falling into a submissive position to compensate the aggressor – dominant male.

Maybe it is then his part in gaining back his authority. The female perspective seems to be like running and hiding. In Alexi’s case she is refusing Japan and in my much more simple case … I’d fallen apart in tears and need to sleep – dissociate from the situation. It’s always about relationship in this kind of deal. Both parties contribute.

Hmm, we haven’t gotten too far from letting this issue go. I guess in this last couple of paragraphs there was more a sense of being able to handle the thoughts.

This has to be a good thing. I wish very much that Thom and Alexis could be there with Dr. Marvin. I feel like I’ve passed on to Thom in having been with recessive female tendencies that aren’t helping him out right now. He’s acting like his father in being overly aggressive. I don’t know how to help the situation out.

He’s acting out and for that matter so are the females. All these absurd behaviors are acting out … the right thing to do would be to talk about it.

I think Alexis sometimes feels like we’re rationalizing bad behavior as if we were excusing it, but I don’t think that’s the right way to look at it. We are trying to figure out where the behavior is coming from, but it is not to ignore, but to correct. It is hard to changes something you are not conscious of. I feel pretty strongly about that and for that reason Dr. Marvin has been excellent with us. For as much as we can dare to talk … he’s been there for us.

Hmm, there … we put the message on Thom’s recorder. I’m not sure if he’s listening to the messages he’s more like hiding from stuff. Maybe this is Thom’s way of saying that HE’s feeling overwhelmed. I know the brother’s want to give him total space in doing things in his own time, but I feel more a sense of obligation to not only myself in being treated “neglectfully,” but also from the perspective of having been placed and accepting of an advocacy type role with Alexis. It’s not fair that she takes the entire brunt of Thom’s anger. We’ve known for years and years that Thom has anger issues. The whole deal that started him living with his father was a cascading of his anger levels and focusing them on me at that time and since then on his women. It’s almost like he is daring the others to abandon him, like we abandoned him. He was doing everything in his power to prove we weren’t worthy of him … likewise I think he’s doing it again with his wife.

Hmm, Washington Post is reporting that Obama is putting a 2.9% pay cap on military raises. I think that’s unfortunate, but I know he’s trying to affect those he can as an example of what needs to happen in the rest of the country. I think military at least at Thom’s level are not paid enough, but then on the other hand these people do not go into the military because of the money they might make.

Unfortunately, this is the same argument that is used for people in the helping services especially developmentally disabled. People from the outside look at us and think … ahh they’d do it no matter what you paid them because they are into the cause. Half true half not. Just because we work with the more vulnerable, it doesn’t make it right that poverty be put upon us and greed proceed throughout the rest of the land. We like nice things as much as the next guy. We wouldn’t bulldoze over someone to get it, but maybe that’s the same differences as we are seeing with this other conversation on abuse, neglect and victimization.

I think that’s where I feel different this time. I’m still feeling put upon though I think it’s more abusive with Thom and Alexis and more neglectful as to me. To think I won’t see my son in three years and yet he’s playing with giving me a couple hours over a week after he’s been home. I can hear Maury and most likely Joe. It’s about where Thom is at that counts, but Thom has to be taken in relationship. I think the guy way of handling it is to protect the other no matter what that other might put others through. In my own way of managing … I feel like I’m standing on a step-stool saying I won’t be forgotten … I’m here … pay some attention and respect.

The only decent way I have to do this is to be somewhat in Thom’s face. Not disrespectfully, but I am calling him everyday to relate to him whether or not he picks up the phone or erases the message. Now as I’m thinking this I’m feeling that much stronger in that which he is doing. To help me and others, I have to say I’m not going to lay down and play the dead victim role. It’s no different than in my past when I felt invisible around people.

If Thom can’t tolerate confronting his relationships now, I at least have the option of talking to Dr. Marvin. I feel confident that this isn’t going to drive me crazy. But, in the same respect if Thom chooses to pick on others of less ability to withstand … I will remain frustrated at him. He should have taken or should take the option to speak to someone stronger than him – which would be Dr. Marvin. I know he doesn’t know Dr. Marvin, but I’m not giving that up as a resource. Usually his military hierarchy tells him what to do … and now Thom thinks he can put that upon others, but that wouldn’t be the fair thing.

It is a way to share Thom though in the role that he’s willing to share with us.

Just this time I feel like I’m going to be an achy pain. He included me in his relationship issues so I took a peek. Now I’m stepping back from that although still feeling protective of Alexis. There’s no doubt she contributes. She in many respects handles Thom in the way she remembers her mother handling her father. I don’t want to get into that … but we all bring our bag of tricks to the dinner table.

Hmm, I guess we’ve been into a little Thomism this morning. We’ll have to accept that for what it is. Thom is a very significant person right now because we keep going back to we aren’t going to have many opportunities to meet. I think we’ll get to know him better with the distance of Japan, but in our regular protective Momway of being … we don’t want him consumed by his emotions while he’s gone. Though in that same respect … It’s better he deal with all this and the military than dumped on his wife or family. They have learned to channel his emotions … now they should be helping in dealing with them.

The other day we had a conversation with Staff Sergeant Jenson. This was the person who brought Thom into the military as to being his recruiter. We put the bare-bones issues to him and asked him what the correct procedures were. He listened to the information about Thom and pretty much stated that Thom had to bring his shit to the table and he knew the way to do it. If he was having problems there were avenues that he should be taking. He gave me the name and number of the service he should be connecting too. I thanked him … I think he’s a good guy. I think he took-in the information about how Thom was treating especially Alexis. I think there was other information new to him. He hadn’t known Thom graduated from MOS 2651 last week and he didn’t know that Thom would be headed to Japan within a month.

I asked if I could remind Thom that he could give Staff Sergeant Jenson a call and he said by all means. But again and very much like his father in this respect, Thom has to go to them and ask for help … they aren’t going to go out looking for him. I think this is funny though … in respect I think women will go out looking for this kind of “trouble.” We have those natural care-taking things going on where we think we can save the day. I remember when we were young and standing in line to be beaten with the belt from our father. We would act out and draw attention from Scot or CS so we’d get the harder licks. I think that’s sort of the protection I’m feeling now with Alexis.

If Thom wants to play rough pick on someone his own size … deal with the mom … OR better yet … deal with her Doctor, because she’s not going to want you to mess her up!

HMPF!

Ok, … we think we’ve gone far enough here to look a different direction for a bit.

We’re satisfied with our thoughts so far. I still think that we have a lot of reading to do as to deployment. We noticed this morning too there were a few responses that someone had made toward me in the MP.com posts. One guy in particular, a Jeff, had had a real strong reaction and we’re going to want to get back to him sometime today yet. There was another message from Sandy who I’d known before … we tried to communicate our frustration toward her before, but then trailed it off to I know we were supposed to be giving it some time. She made a note on one of the message boards saying she’d look forward to seeing me this Saturday.

I’d almost forgotten about that. It’s probably going to be a good deal because Rich is going to be taking care of some officiating stuff during the day on Saturday.

The deal is a dinner in Elgin about 3:30 pm at one of the local hotels. I’ve saved that information. I might as well look it up now – well as soon as my screen clears at least. Internet can’t live without it, can’t live WITH it!

Hmm, we’ve just been over at AOL looking at some news stories. Nothing in particular just bunch of silly stuff and one gruesome story about a funeral director leaving a body to decay after the family wouldn’t pay to have it cremated. Ok, let’s talk about why that MIGHT not be a good idea, hmm?
Ugh!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Vickie sent this this morning :)

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

A Rather Drifty Morning

Good morning. This is me … AND we got an extra hour to be typing WOOHOO!! I woke up at 4:30 am and have spent the last half hour checking things out online and watching our baby slowly come to a place of almost awake. Pswhoo. He’s a hard case. He’d asked me last night to wake him if I was up at 4:30 am. I was and I did and now he’s doing it.

He’s kinda funny … I wake up most mornings and like let’s get the bathroom over so I can be up! Kitty and coffee are next and then we’re happy to have found the computer. If we’re tired … we’ll just go back to bed. Well unless it’s after 6 am and then we’re thinking we better jump in the shower. Rich was like … I wish I could already be in the shower without moving. Uh-huh uh-huh I think that’s going to work. Or maybe not.

Poor guy … but he’s to be congratulated because he DID find it and it seems wet enough for everyone.

I think he’s having trouble at work because of the new boss. I think we mentioned her earlier. She’s fired also the janitor who use to help out in the shop along with letting the production coordinator go, so there is going to be only a shipping receiving clerk doing things. It is a pretty strange way of doing business I think. She decides on I don’t know what grounds who is valuable or not and then just kicks but all over the place. That’s how JVS lost the entire Bloomberg Center. She’s pushing Rich to now do more with less. He’s trying to get a handle on extra reports to her showing her something, but I don’t know what. It’s obvious with her ejection sheet approach she’s not winning many friends.

I talked to Rich about it last night from the grounds of loyalty. I think the one’s that will be loyal are all waiting for her to slip up and be released like they are being judged. Rich doesn’t say anything like that … but it would seem certain that people aren’t really crazy about this style of management. Last night I had a dream about a concentration camp like environment. First there was two of us shooting, and then we had to give in and then we were being let through this area of hallways which had glass boxes of people being abused or mistreated. I think this was a dream about the way I think of this woman.

Rich needs to think of alternative plans in case they simply let him go with no extra thought like the rest. It’s really a terrible thing to go in feeling this threatened. Rich doesn’t complain he just thinks of what is the next thing and the next in the line of work given any particular situation, but realistically, she’d tear down the whole place if she had a choice. Rich has noticed while she’s tearing down the infrastructure, she’s hiring extra people to be working at the corporate office. I think you can kill only so many worker bees before the top heavy parts cave in.

But, it’s her show … let’s just see how fast that all just implodes on her. Can’t be a good thing what she’s doing … and it’s hard to think she has made her choices with the client’s best interests at heart. Now it’s a cold steely business and it would seem like clients are in her way – like those at Blumberg. Eh it’s the fate of a nation maybe at this point. In the end so many people will be let go of there will be no money to pay for even government.

I have no doubt I’ll be in the next rung of people especially if something were to happen to Sr. Theresa. No doubt there is some back-up plan, but I think the plan would be to sell the real estate and let everything else go.

If I were to lose a job in would mean I’d have to find something right away. I think though that even the low paying jobs are going quickly. I saw a line in New York on TV yesterday where people were winding 4 fold and around the high-rise. It was a job fair … and everyone with or without degrees was looking for employment.

Hmm … it seems like sir Sweetie is up and at’m he’s sitting down out in the kitchen after having gotten slowly dressed. I figure I better let him concentrate if he was going to make it this morning. Last night he got in late and we went almost automatically to bed. He let me help him get undressed and then he read one of his fishy magazines while I finished TV and had my fudgsicle. I guess after a bit I didn’t move fast enough because I can remember just shutting my eyes as I was hearing him squeak off the bed. Oh-oh he’s going to come looking for me I thought.

I was right … busted!

We let him turn off the TV though this time without any complaint. We had already taken our medicine. We had been watching the President’s speech to the joint congress. I have to admit we were tired and dozed off … it was during our sleepy time hours. We had brought Sr.’s small computer, but it was so sluggish it wouldn’t change screens, so we ended up not having anything to do while watching the speech.

We had wanted to watch the speech with the Facebook crowd. The Facebook side was working better than the live video, but it’s hard when so many people are negative.

Most of the people are positive, but they are at little levels of just criticizing the obvious things like Pelosi’s dress looked like lizard-ware and the like. It’s not that I was elevated from this … not thinking the same thing. Just to have all us focus on it seemed REALLY negative.

For the majority though the people liked President Obama … so at least that was good. I heard some broadcasters say afterward how he mixed some of the speech similar to Presidents from the past. I thought they were looking at that optimistically. They had said the speechwriter was studying Roosevelt’s new deal and Kennedy’s optimism. They thought Obama did an excellent representation of what is necessary for our country today.

Hmm, been pretty much reading for a bit, plus we took our shower and all that, and we have been petting Ms. Kitty. We figured she was due. The first thing we were scanning through is the bill over at Recovery.gov. Hmm pretty long. It still be neat if we could read through some of it. And then we were going to clear our email, but we found the Newsletter for MarineParents.com so we skimmed through some of that.

I think Missy is making us a little tired now with her snoring … well sorta snoring and sorta purring, just like a little motor boat she is. Poor thing likes to lie on the right more bouncy wrist.

I don’t think we had much of a day to talk about … you heard of our evening. We did work with Group III and we were happy for that. Some of them were doing well and others were having trouble concentrating on what was going on. I don’t want to say it’s just that they are slower functioning … just have to have some way of catching their attention - hmm?

Hehehe we were teasing Vickie this morning … she had said something about her becoming more used to shooting in New Orleans … so then I reminded her that not only do the both of our sons carry guns – one of our sons carries an entire tank! And, it’s not MY son! She laughed back and though we were right. Darn sure of that. It reminds me of when we were a kid and at about 8-10 years of age, I and a friend would pull out matching motorcycles from our pocket and then we’d just go crazy.

Kids now days? Wow …

I’m starting to feel as yawny as Rich was looking before he went to work this morning. I don’t think we’re into concentrating real hard. I keep thinking I should be looking at something, but then I again clear my vision’s view.

Hmm, really seems we’re just skimming along. We keep finding ourselves back to MP.com looking for someone new to have responded, or another site of interest to show up. I’m in a few threads now. I’ve got a couple of notes in the Iwakuni, Japan forum, and then in the Marineparents forum I’ve got one in the first time deployment forum, one in Cheesybears, one in the Alpha bootcamp forum, one in intelligence, and one in a post for 2651’s (Thom’s MOS). There might be more, but these are the one’s immediately up front. I found one that I’ll be interested in looking at more later … It’s from Baddog on “Something to ponder.” I’ve seen her do soul-searching entries before and I noticed one of my friends from boot responded to her note too. I’d like to check that out, but its 6 pages so there isn’t time enough this morning.

Ok, you … and NO falling asleep on the way to work! We’re still drifty. Best though now to get going, hmm? Big day ahead!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Our Minds are Running Over

Good morning this is me and we’re reporting from me-dom. We just checked out a less than clothed fishyman when he passed by here to the shower. WooHOO!!! Yup, yup one of those nights!

Hehehe - Ok you … where’s your mind so early in the morning - hmm? Reign her in there cowpoke.

Pshwoo sorry about that … it WAS refreshing though 

Ok, ok in other news … where have we been? Let’s see after work we came home and RICH WAS THERE!!! Ok, shhh not going back there again …

Well, he was!

I’m not winning here.

We had dinner almost together. He warmed up my left over roast and dumplings and he had some of his favorite rice and green beans AND roast dinners. It was very good and soon followed by you can guess it … A fudgsicle. Things don’t change THAT fast around here.

After well before that … we were watching the end of his fishing tournament. He was pretty happy because on the first day of the Shreveport tournament he and his friend out-fished one of the best guys. Well, not one of the guys on the top this year … but VanDam is very well known. WooHOO!!!

Everyone in between was getting massaged and ok … MOVING ON LADIES…

Well, then it’s this morning and Rich is in the shower and we’re waiting our turn and there’s not too much to be said here yet.

Yesterday at work?

Ohhh … wait a minute … there was something else … we were talking on the phone yesterday. We talked to Thom earlier about his situation after having worked to get a situation together so that he and Alexis could get some help. From the sounds of it that deal wasn’t going to work, because Thom’s open window of opportunity seems to have closed. *Sigh*

We talked to Maury just a minute, but we also talked with Joe and my sister.

Everything seems to be going alright in those directions. I think Joe and Cari are moving in together and making those kinds of plans and my sister is still in the planning and working through stages of Nathan’s wedding. WOOHOO!!! She got a new wedding dress and everything.

So … lot’s of good stories behind all that today.

Ok, NOW we’ll do the work conversation. I remember at the end there was real work going on … we’d done about 10 of those Qnotes we keep talking about. We did some planning with Sr. Theresa.

AHA! But first … we wanted to say we took a shower and umm helped fishyman get dressed and did all the other morning routines. We’ve now got about a half an hour to go.

Ok, now back to the other stuff … we did some planning with Sr. Theresa … I guess that we have a lot of stuff going on for Friday. We’ve got the new staff coming in, Sr. is going to have me host a group of volunteers, we are going to be doing the sign group, plus we’ve got CIRCLES and Thinking Group. Pswhoo. Not looking forward to that day.

We just relayed our terrible busy day with Rich … he’s always calm about that stuff … he said just get one theme for the day and go with that. It’s not a bad suggestion. We’ll have to give it some consideration.

Let’s see … so I did the 10 Qnotes and am hoping to finish that today. That’s good. Then what next? Probably should get those annuals worked on. There is a lot of work to be doing for that. Plus, we really have to get something started with the CARF. Man-o-man there’s just so much to be doing … It’s a matter of where do we begin?

Do we start off every morning like this? Sort of discombobulated? *Sigh*

Ok, so … lets think of something positive.

How am I doing in general? It seems like we have very full days. Things seem to happen and then we’re through something and then something else has come up. We feel we are always a bit behind. I don’t like that part, because it adds a sense of not quite making the grade. I wish I were more able to be on top of things. But, that doesn’t seem to be the way things work out. This leaves a feeling of not being able to keep up and it gives me a sense of worrying that things are not going to be ok.

When I think of general what life is like and supposed to be like, I wonder if people in general face this kind of anticipation of the unknown. I don’t know if everyone feels some sense of not being able to get done with all that is supposed to be happening. I don’t know if people worry about things the way I do in that I am always feeling that I’m so far behind that it’s going to mess me up in the long AND short term. I feel good when I get some things accomplished, but there’s just so much to be doing.

I don’t know what the end all goals are. I don’t know what the big picture is supposed to be representing. In a sense what is the top priority. It would seem that a big part is that we want to think the best of what our family can be doing, but that’s just a small part of things. Well, not too small, but just a part.

There must be something of the process of how we are making things move and having an impact on whatever it is that is our goals and aspirations. I know that having our family happy is a major part of things going well, but then there’s the part where I need to wonder what it is that we’re here for. In a sense … what is the real priority if and when we get all these smaller feats accomplished.

Basically what is the sum and substance of our life? Is there some major purpose that we’re trying to grasp? Are we making things right with our internal and external world?

I’m not sure of the answers to all these questions. I do know that I’m still feeling behind and that I have to sometime or another sit down and get a grasp on what the major priorities are … things like making sure our family is ok that we’re accomplishing our work goals, that we’re ok with our personal relationships, and we’re making a dent on other peoples’ lives at work. Hmm, there’s then too the part of trying to make us healthy. We’ve still got to be working on that, right?

Pshwoo … lots going on, but for now it’s about time we get a move on it. We want to review this post to see what sense can be made of it, and then we’re going to want to get dressed, smooch up our lover, and then be heading for the door and drive into work. That’s about as far as we can make it go for the moment. It’s going to be ok, isn’t it?

Found an Old Picture of Rich for CS

Click on picture for bigger and better view

Monday, February 23, 2009

Ok, Startin up a Monday is Standard Fair, Right?

Good morning. This is me. We’re all shined up and polished like a shiny penny. Well, at least we took our shower, we could go that far. We’ve only got about 40 minutes though before it is time to get going. Rich reminded me that I had to go in on time in case I wanted to take some time to be off with Thom.

Thom was like the subject of the night. I think we’d told you he was at his brothers, but then Alexis picked him up and something had happened and Thom got out of the car while he was still in the suburbs and that of course upset Alexis.

Alexis called and we were in touch with Joe and Maury. Alexis had asked me to have Joe pick him up. Joe of course tried that, but then Thom refused to be picked up and then he wasn’t to be found when Joe went back out there after finding he wasn’t at his Dad’s.

I’m not sure who thought at first he’d be at Laura’s with his son Austin, but that is where he eventually turned up. He had everyone calling and text messaging him and he finally texted back Jose to say that we should all stop worrying over nothing basically.

I was just relieved to know where he was. We talked to Alexis for a bit trying to calm that situation down. I worried more about her then Thom because I figured he was just in the suburbs and he was a Marine trained to take care of himself. I felt bad that Alexis was being wrung through the wringer with Thom’s emotions. I feels she needs all the support she can get. I really like Alexis.

Both Joe and Alexis were worried about Thom being suicidal. I know their thoughts are very important … especially when assessing Thom at this level. I tried to stay on the more positive side. I think that was the right thing for me to do. It would have been too easy for both me and Alexis to be unnerved … I knew I had to stay grounded. It’s not that she wasn’t, but she was handling things more emotionally where I was trying hard to be rational.

I’m afraid this might have come off to her that I was less caring; it’s just that I’m able to look at the bigger picture knowing Thom’s family is a strong support to him. I really thought he’d call someone before he tried anything. I wasn’t so sure he wasn’t drinking, but then even then I was encouraged in the thoughts that he’d call reasonably for someone to pick him up.

So, that was pretty much it of the night. We had the award show on … oh yeah the Oscars, but we weren’t really paying a lot of attention to it, it was just a place to focus our eyes … light thinking. We ended up going to bed I assume much sooner than it had gotten over … maybe about 9:30 pm. Rich had snuck off to bed before us and we just had to finish the fudgsicle.

It’s just a time-honored bedtime routine that let’s us know that everything will be ok.

There wasn’t anything else more important that happened with our day. We spent a good amount of time all the way up until Rich was about to serve dinner working on learning Marine stuff. We found this site which had a publication from the Marines called MarineCorps Concepts and programs that they put out every year … and we had the 2008 program. We skimmed this pretty good, but didn’t have time to read the detail programs. I would like to go back and do this maybe tonight while we’re watching TV. This is the link.

http://www.usmc.mil/units/hqmc/pandr/Documents/Concepts/2008/toc.htm

I was really impressed in that it was giving a very full and comprehensive picture of the Marines and what they were doing and how they were ordered and such. The last thing I looked up over there was a small section on about 12-15 different demographic pages. I thought it was very very educational. I like that the Marines put as much information out there as possible.

We are still hovering over the MarineParents.com website as well. We’re into a few threads, but unfortunately the weekend was really slow in the response category.

Our last thoughts go to whether or not Dr. Marvin could see Thom with me and maybe with Alexis. I think realistically Thom is going through a lot … like Alexis they have their marriage and communication issues, but as well Thom has to be thinking through being in Japan for 3 years and I think in general we could be working on setting up a support network. I’m not sure all of what I expect here, but I want Thom in a situation where he gets to vent some of the emotional things that seem to be causing such uproar. I think is he could be calm the marriage would be in less problem shape. No doubt they could use marriage counseling, but that would take a lot of effort with them being far apart. I do think that the Marines have some kind of family support, again … I think I stated yesterday, that I don’t know if Thom wants this to go on his records.

I’d really like it if Dr. Marvin let us set up that Thom come in over the next four weeks while he is at home. I’d like better to understand his situation. I’d like Alexis to be a part too. Just don’t know if the two of them could be calm enough in a session to make things be on the right track. Maybe idealistically, one week Thom would come in and then one week Alexis and then a couple of weeks they’d come in together.

I might be dreaming up a blue streak, because I know Dr. Marvin is going to be talking about conflict of interest. He’s there to support me first I know that, but I’d be a lot less stressed if I knew that Thom and Alexis were going to be ok and that Thom was more emotionally set to be going to Japan. I see it at this point like a family issue.

Maybe one solution would be to have Maury and Joe come in too … and have it be family orientated. I know this is a long shot, but it would really serve me fine to have everyone come in and talk about the deployment. It be a very good situation all around.

Hmm, can we get our mind past this this morning? Not sure. We are going to need going into the day as a normal Monday. We’ve got probably about 2 weeks before we get the next trainer for Group 1. We already worked somewhat with the new Friday trainer for Group 1, but we have a lot more training to do. I hope that we can really get some time in to be talking to Thom without his defenses being up. Hmm, are we backing to that again?

Shh, be good now…

Ok, and then let’s see what shall be our final summary. You may or may not have known that Rich went into work before our shower and that he’s planning on being home tonight. I really already look forward to that.

Work is going to be about QNOTES!!!! We’ve got to get a handle on that because we made no progress on that absolutely last week. There was a lot of time taken up with the signing. We’ve still got that to be going through, but I’m not sure if the signers will be included in today’s practice.

There’s so much to be doing and so little time. Now I just wonder … did I clean up my desk before leaving? That would sure be nice. Hmm, one other thing. We’ve used up all our space on the flash drive. We’re going to need thinking through that and if we can get connected to Google about releasing the money to the H&R Card. What a headache that all turned out to be. At least I know that by default it will return to the account by March 6th, but that’s yet two weeks off. *sigh*

Ok, let’s not borrow trouble this morning ok? Just gotta keep going.

The Guys are Home

Good morning. This is me. It’s almost the afternoon on Sunday – actually about 11:30 am. We’ve been so happy all morning, because fishyman has been in and we’ve had such a good smooch time with him. Mostly it was like sitting in back of him massaging him while we both watched and talked about the fishy shows. He’s just soooo cool!

We were up last night when he called to say that he was about 20 minutes out. I got soooo excited. I couldn’t believe how happy I felt when he walked in the door. There’s just so much pleasure in being with him. We watched about 1 ½ fishy shows from the Classic in Shreveport. He showed me all the places he knew about and stories about having met or seen one person or another. I think the funniest story was of Iconelli cutting him off as he zoomed to his location. Rich recognized the boat, but didn’t know who it was until he got back and saw the show and matched boat to boat.

Iconelli – sorry on the spelling, but he’s pretty famous for being one of the most outlandish guys on the tour. You always have to stop and watch him when he’s on because he’s so pumped up.

There of course too was a little bit of the hanky-panky going on … so we’re not going to talk about that except to say that life is good. Pswhoo!
Moving on 

It was so rewarding to fall asleep with Rich in his bed last night. I can’t tell you how happy he makes me feel. I just feel blessed to be with him.

We teased him this morning, because it was like dragging an anchor trying to get information from him. I think it was too fresh in his mind to organize … he was giving one statement responses to questions I’d hope gained more information. I felt a little bad about that, but the teasing came after he was on the phone with Bob this morning and they were chatting up a storm.

You know the usual things happened like us swearing that he loved Bob more than us *Sigh* Poor Rich caught between a rock and a hard spot. He finally tracked it down in that Bob knows the right kinds of questions to get the best responses because he’s so attuned to what’s going on. I know that … and know too that we’re feigning hurt more than anything. I look forward to knowing more about what’s going on so that I can ask the good questions too.

Of course the first question was the one on are there any pretty girls you met. He went to the one I knew he would. There’s a Kim who made the cut this year and takes the record for being the first woman to place in the top 51 guys. WooHOO!!! For her! She’s doing terrible – in 47th place right now, but just for the honor of playing with the big guys it’s pretty exciting and there was a lot of news covering her. She seems to have a really upbeat attitude on the whole thing. She knows that it was just making it to the tournament that was the essential part. I feel bad though because I think the 4 men under her in the standings are going to get a ribbing for being beaten by a girl. But, such is the life of male-type people!

Hmm, we keep finding ourselves back and forth from MarineParents.com It’s like ok, we didn’t leave a note there! There are not a whole lot of people on line right now. Actually, it states on the bottom of the form that there are 99 users currently online and at it’s peak today there were 389 people using the system. The chances of getting someone with those kinds of numbers to be going to the threads you are taking a part of is slim. But, we keep hoping anyway. I think we’re looking most for something from Sandy, Kim, or JuDee. I miss those guys!

We’re just trying to get a grip on it really.

I talked to Maury the yesterday. He said that Thom made it home from Florida in record time. He got in at 2 am, which explains why he didn’t get to my phone call about 10 am. I should have known he was going to drive straight through *sigh*. I understand he was working off the high energy drinks. I’m not thinking that was totally safe, and I worry these guys think they are invincible. Maury said that Thom got pulled over 4 times for speeding … he was driving about 120 mph. Umm, yes he has a fast car … Mustang I think. Still think he was really pushing his luck and that kind of stuff scares me. I was relieved though to know he was in.

I called this morning to see if Thom’s plans were already set or if he’d like to come over for dinner, but he had things going on already. Right now Alexis is at work and Thom is over at his brother Joes. He wasn’t in a good position to talk, and I tried to respond as if I’m not hurt when he doesn’t call after getting in to set something up. He wasn’t making any out loud plans and we know this is regular Thom, just wish we’d have a higher priority.

I know that we aren’t totally off the list, because he’d called a couple times earlier in the week. Just that its hard to wait for so long and then not hear direct. Alexis, Maury and Joe have all had contact though and it seems through them at least I’m being kept in the loop. It’s hard to be a Mom.

We’ve been thinking about … I’m not sure if we said anything yesterday or not, but Thom and Alexis seem both willing to see some kind of therapist. For the small amount of time he’s in it’s hard to think a lot will happen, but my ideal situation would be if they came in with me to see Dr. Marvin. He already knows of their situation and might be able to help. I know he’s going to worry though about conflict of interest or in losing time that I might need. Just that it would really be good to have Thom in … it would help me a lot, and if it worked out, maybe we could arrange something with Alexis and Thom could see someone in Japan, or something or another. Just want them to get some help, especially if they seem to be looking for it.

It be better if they could get in by themselves, but then there would be definite advantage if they could get past the normal formalities of not knowing or trusting who you were talking to. I’m going to ask Dr. Marvin to really consider it even if it’s one time. I think because it’s my session we’d probably be in there with me, because it would be seen somewhat to my advantage to meeting with the family. Maybe if we just talked more about the act of deployment and then the marriage stuff would slip in as it could, but the bottom line would be how do we support each other with all this change in place.

What would be really cool is if we could get Joe and Maury in on a session to and do something for the entire family, but I would really settle on Thom coming in with Alexis. We’ll talk to Dr. Marvin first thing on Monday morning. I know he let Joe come in and there’s always been a standing agreement that I could bring anyone in … just have to see. I asked Maury about the woman that he and Lauren had seen and he said he wouldn’t recommend her to anyone. The other possibility that I would check is through the Marines. I would ask if there was any kind of specialist they would recommend. Maybe this spousal – deployment stuff comes up often as a hard bridge to cross. I don’t know though if Thom wants the military to understand that he’s having troubles with his marriage. It would be expected though … he’s only been married for half a year and they’ve only had a couple handfuls of time together.

I think that support is going to be very important for them. I just want to be here as a help. I hope I can figure out how to do that.

Ok, figure we’ll need to move on. It’s now almost 1 pm. Rich and I’ve been talking on and off and we’re already through helping him put away the first load of laundry. Bob had asked if we both wanted to come to a spaghetti dinner at his church, but Rich decided that he had too much to do. I think he’s going through his email now and he’s got some other business type things to be taking care of. He says he’s going out in a little bit to do some shopping. My only requirement is that he buy more toilet paper, and his requirement is that he finds something to make for dinner tonight. I think he’s thinking of making a roast.

Wow! We haven’t had him cooking for us for awhile, though it should be said that we ate on his account ham, spaghetti and chili he’d fixed before going … so I guess that counts as to his cooking? It wasn’t the same though because it had to go through a microwave first. Hmm, and then there was the Chinese too. We actually had then quite a nice arrangement of food. Our compromise was that we picked up the place well before he got home last night so everything was as neat and ordered and appreciated as he had left it. Good Ann!

I don’t like the way the day is sliding past us here. We were really being I guess a lazy bum with him this morning. He was still waking up 3 ½ hours into the day.

I don’t think I have anything specific to be doing with Rich. Our preference is to stay home and be with him rather than go out and I know he’s been out all week, so most likely he’s looking forward to being in. Maybe I’ll call my sister or mother later when Rich is at the grocery store. Another person to maybe get a hold of is Pat … it’s been awhile since talking to her. I would like to get in the habit of checking in with Alexis more often too, but I think now her free time is being taken up with Thom.

I asked Rich and he’s going to tell me in a few moments if there is some time that we could invite Thom and Alexis over for dinner. Most likely that day if not before we will be looking to taking off a day or two this week to be with him and her, or just him on his own. I’d like to have him over for dinner because that would be such a nice Mom thing to do. It would be nice to do it at least once a week until he’s ready to go. I can’t emphasize enough how nice it will be to spend some time with them.

Alexis was very nice in saying she looked forward to when we were around, because we were much more likely to include her in the conversation. I really like her.

I keep looking over at the signature I have for Thom at MarineParents.com. Here let me get you a picture.

This is it … its pretty reflective of Thom’s situation. It’s like a lot of parents, but then it’s a bit different. Sometimes people have information on the family too, but not as often as without. Some people have color and centering, but most people don’t and some people have it placed proportionately in as nice of order and then most don’t … the difference is that we’ve got all the above. There’s quite a few whose signature is so long, but it’s more unique than not. I’m pretty proud of it and what it says about Thom and our family. It was just updated.

Hmm, there are about 194 users online now with MP, but they are being slow to add the new entries … I don’t know if you remember, but they all have to be checked before they are posted. Eh … it’s a rule.

Ok, so it’s now 2:30 pm and we’re still floppying around. We were reading entries from the wife and girlfriends board to see what Alexis might be looking at … I think she’d gain the feeling that she’s not the only one to have emotions of her Marine being gone, but in general the audience seems younger than her. We’ll have to see how that goes. I had said something about looking at some together just as a point of conversation. We’ll see.

Hmm, I was just thinking of Thom and Alexis and seeing maybe Dr. Marvin. I was thinking if it could be set up in such a way as to initiate discussion on how to best do the support thing while Thom is away … and then as a side note letting Dr. Marvin talk in general about marriage without getting in too far with either so that it remained safe all around? I don’t know we’ll just have to see. I know Dr. Marvin is real good in setting down rules.

Rich is now shopping and we’ve been grazing in the kitchen. It was after lunch so to some extent that was ok, but we waited for a little longer and seemed then to have two smaller meals. Yeeks. When is enough?

Maury seemed to be doing better in that he found the piece of equipment he’d been missing. It was in his truck. That took a lot of pressure off of him. I don’t know how Joe’s doing except that he had Thom visiting him. That was a good thing.

I think Joe knew as much as anyone going into the visit. I don’t know how much would be discussed and I don’t know if Bob was in on that visit or Alex. Alex just bought a home with his wife so they are finding a million jillion things to do I am sure. I also don’t know if Cari will be a part of the visiting. I hope it all goes well.

It seemed that Thom was worrying somewhat whether he passed. I think he is past being overly concerned with it. I think he figured even if he didn’t pass they would send him to Japan. I think that’s what he’d asked for … just has to seem like a lot of pressure right now. I wish he could have gotten him regiment and squad names. Oh yeah we were going to let that go, right?

Well shoot … you’ve got to let me think through out loud with SOMEONE!!!

Hmm, there was one thing. Rich said that either Thursday or Friday might be good to have Thom and Alexis over. I think that Friday is more a date night out especially with other dates so it might not be a good night for Thom, but maybe Thursday would be ok, especially if they would be going with me to see Dr. Marvin. I’m not sure as you know how that will happen, but I’m beginning to see some hope. I will ask Thom when he calls – he said he would sometime, if there weren’t a day when everyone else was working that we might get a chance to get together over here. Just kinda a slow relaxing day.

Maybe we could be going over some things before he was going to be deployed. Maybe not … just want some time to be with him - the kind of time where he is willing to talk and converse - sometimes he gets so formal.

Hmm, we’ve been on and off talking to Rich again and he’s now almost done with dinner. The majority of the time we’ve been reading stuff about the military … we just found something on programs & resources for the Marine Corp 2008. We went into that quite a bit before we saved it. It’s pretty cool.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Waitin on the guys

Good morning this is me. We're being tormented by the kitties ... sure you think they are sweet, but that's just a rouse. They mean to take over the world ... I'm pretty sure they even have meetings about it. Don't mistake that demure for fluffybrains. They are plotting away at all times. Hmpf!

It's almost 7 am now and we're going to be working at the small computer so we can glance at the TV. Fishyman called last night to tell us that we needed to tape a show for him. The classic that he prepared for yesterday was going to be on ESPN2. Man-o-man was that a mess. Basically, we went to tape it and we found that the cue was 100% full and we couldn't access what we needed to delete programs. It was a mess because I knew he really wanted it and I spent about 1 1/2 hours fooling around with it. Part of that was sitting back frustrated thinking through my next plan of attack.

Pswhoo. I fell asleep for a little bit ... It's now 8 am. Not sure what happened except my eyes still hurt from last night. We got into a bad situation with fishyman. I was so upset that I couldn't figure out the DVR situation and I'd even talked to Maury and I couldn't get it. So I went to bed ... It was about 8:30 pm and I was just in terrible shape. But, then fishyman called me back like he said he would, but he didn't check his recorder of me saying that I couldn't get the show recorded and that I would try this morning to call Comcast. Maury had suggested that they might reset it.

He was very frustrated with me and we were crying terribly ... It came out in our exhaustion especially after being woke up at about 9:30 to talk to him that we were somehow failing him. We had tried so hard all week to stay on top of things and not go under and here it was ... he was almost home, but we were falling apart in this stupid tears. He was pushing us to go through it again so we did with a small amount of new optimism because he was on the phone and might be able to help me, but we got to the familiar screen that he'd never seen and he wasn't able to give us help. He wanted us to call Comcast right away, but we were so wiped and couldn't get past the crying ... we were just dazed. We told him we'd do it in the morning because we always wake up before 7 am and he wasn't happy with that which just made us more upset because we felt we were failing him.

We suggested that he call Bob and have him record the show as a backup, but that wasn't working for him. He thought we would forget about it if we went to sleep, but we were thinking of it the moment we woke. We made the coffee, but went through the necessary to get the show taped. We were a little panicky at first because we had trouble getting through on our phone. But, then we thought ... maybe if we just turned it off and on again and that seemed to work. Oh man ... we're we grateful. And, then we got to Comcast, but it turned out to be the wrong number because we were getting somewhere they were saying they would be closed until Monday.

Fortunately for us, we kept trying and we got the regular Comcast number that has 24 hour service. I thought the lady was not going to get it because she was being silent on the line so long figuring it out. We were scared that she wasn't really knowing how to fix our problem, but in reality she was resetting the box, but she hadn't told us what she was doing. We had to turn off the power and then turn it on again and I was groggy and could't figure out which cord to pull so we turned off the power strip. Then we had to figure out turning on the TV again ... if you know us by now we're never sure on how to turn off the thing and still get it back.

Fortunately the lady new enough that we hadn't pushed the cable button when we couldn't connect to the DVR at all, but then we pushed that on her command and we got back a more familiar screen. It said that we had 0% on our DVR, which meant I shouldn't over think but we'd erased all of Rich's programming. I felt bad about that, but there wasn't anything else to do. At least we were going to be able to tape his program.

I was so relieved and I think the lady was too because although she hadn't talked in a personable way throughout, she wanted to encourage me that I'd done it all on my own. We were saying no we were just following her instructions, but she was being very nice and she wanted to tell us we were doing good because after the regular screen came back we actually knew we'd have to go to that program and press the red circle record button. Man ... all we could think of though was to get off the phone, but we didn't do that without missing the opportunity to tell her our son worked for Comcast too ... she thought that was awesome. It was nice of her.

It just took a few moments to find the right channel and get things taken care of. We were at first afraid to change the channel, but we managed. And then we called fishyman to tell him we were recording ... It's very very rare that we'll call him while he's fishying, but we thought he'd be very relieved to find out that we figured out what had to be done.

He picked up the phone after a couple moments, and he worried that we'd not gotten any sleep, but we told him that we'd gone to bed and so on. We just talked a few moments really and he said that he was coming home. We got worried, and asked if there was something bad that had happened. And, then he reminded us that it was Saturday and this was his scheduled day to come home. I don't know why we were so cloudy on these kinds of issues, but we were ... then there was a sense of relief. He was coming home finally?!! Oh man ... but, that was soon followed by the thought that ... oh man that meant that Ron was in the car listening to the conversation. We thought yeeks. We better get off the phone.

We took a risk in telling fishman that we loved him, but we knew he already knew that. I guess that had come to question the night before. We were saying something in our blur like why was he yelling at us and that just made us cry harder because someone had been feeling unloved after how hard we'd tried to keep it together. We just couldn't understand how he'd be so upset with us. Now we're thinking he was mostly just frustrated for not getting his show. I felt bad because he does everything going the extra mile and here we were not doing much of anything and we couldn't even figure out the show.

Hmm, we had to stop and tape the second part of the show. I'm lad that Rich told us it went to 10 am ... it's 8:30 am now, but I'm thinking they might just be recording some of the stuff over again? I'm not sure, but we won't take a chance we're taping it anyway. We heard somewhere in there too that they are going to be continuing it at 9 pm tonight. We're not sure how long so we set the tape machine to 3 hours. It had said to be announced, so better safe than sorry and beside then maybe by then fishyman will be back ... oh man do I hope that's true.

BUT, that he doesn't yell at me!

Shhh, we covered that already dear. It's going to be ok ...

We might have to clean up here a bit ... we told Dr. Marvin that the fudsicle sticks had overcomed us again. We don't know how all that happens and as we're walking over the sticks, there's a fearful feeling of bending down and scooping them up even though we know we've done it hundreds of times. Well, mayb not as much as fishyman, but SOMEtimes we DO pick stuff up. We can do it ... but not quite yet. We have the sense about us that we're not quite up to speed yet. Still feeling a little too submissive. We know that Rich doesn't like to see us like this, but it's the way I am.

Probably should get over this for the time being ... We're going to have to try harder. We got our medicine a bit ago and it should be working by now ... just not in good shape. We also got our second cup of coffee. I sure hope fishyman likes us when he gets back.

Hey, hey ... we've already been here remember? We were going to straighten out our act. Just feel so much feelings of longing for him. I don't know where all these feelings are coming from ... we've done our best to compartmentalize them all week that I suppose it's a natural. We've been strong most of the week too especially for all we've been going through. We made sure to soak in Dr. Marvin's profound confidence in us ... we know he's very excited when we're doing good although accepts us 100% when we're not doing so good. Going back now again to that feeling of being on such a high with him, and then to realize that we were losing things again and the depressed feelings were coming out.

There might have been a few transitioning parts, but then without a doubt Casey took her ground. Fishyman was the first thing that she'd brought up. She misses him terribly. I'm not sure how much longer before she had food on her mind. She remembered for us that fishyman had planned that we have Chinese Thursday night and that we'd have leftovers from there the next day or two. That's holding true. *Sigh* there is so much else to think from such a groggy start. How did we get here? I know, I know just missing the fishyman.

Hehehe I have to think ahead and I'll know that we'll get to that point where he's scolding us for something or another and we'll think ... ahh, but how peaceful it was throughout the week NOT to be scolded by anyone! Hmpf!

Hmm, the final part of this is going to be on Sunday night at 9 pm central time ... but it wouldn't let me record that so far away. Have to make sure to tell fishyman so he gets it down. I'm guessing he's going to set some channels when he gets home. I feel bad that all those fishy shows and West Wings were lost, but there wasn't anything else to do. It'll be ok, right?

Our eyes are still tired and sore from the crying. I think it was pretty much crying ourselves to sleep. SHHHH. Why are you doing this to us? Don't you think we should concentrate on something else? Why don't you go do our Mom stuff important stuff going on there, right?

Maybe some more coffee? What else do you need to get us into shape? I'm thinking maybe even a shower this morning? Be better than waiting all day? Maybe it would help us relax, don't you thinhk? DId you know that we had a very white snowstorm last night and it's still flurying hard? Very high density snow. I'm sure fishyman is not going to like that one!

Ok, maybe that shower deal is good for us, why don't we go try, hmm? And, if you don't straighten up ... we're going to do some housecleaning too!

NOOOOO! Not THAT! You heard me. Gotta pick up the mood. I'M GOING TO TAKE A SHOWER! FINE ... if you want. *Grumbling bad*

*Sigh* That seems better.

We had a fudsicle too ... just for good measure. AND, yes another cup of coffee. We've only got about a half hour of the show left, and then we'll probably turn it back to CNN. I'm not sure if we'll stay on the small computer or not, but it's been nice and familar feeling this morning to be on the couch with Sir kitty.

I think we're starting to slow down a bit as too the rumbly feelings that have been unnerving us this morning. Maybe now we'll be able to move on. Our eyes are feeling a little less heavy too ... We looked in the mirror in the bathroom and found them to be pretty bloodshot. They did good in the steam. They were starting to relax some.

I'm going to look forward to some stories coming from fishyman. He's going to have a whole lot to tell us about. We need to get used to him being gone, but the first time it was hard at the end. Hmm, we've probably covered that. Maybe we could talk about our other time traveler this morning. Thom is headed home today too.

As it turned out Alexis flight was canceled though she wasn't sure why. That meant that she wasn't going down and that Thom would be coming back on his own. I felt bad for him because the time would have been good for him to be with Alexis, but things will happen as they do and all is as it should be.

I got a chance to talk to Alexis again yesterday after work. She called as we were on our way home and we sat in the back just chatting for a bit before coming up. I think I came upstairs about 6 pm. I don't know why I get in that position where I don't feel I can talk and walk at the same time, but as long as it's going on let's make sure to say I have no problems sitting in the comfyness of the car without actually driving. It's very relaxing.

I was very happy to be talking to Alexis and I hope that we are able to keep it up. I think we can really help each other out. Hehehe maybe it's going to take two of us to figure out Thom. I won't go into all that conversation, but I was a little disappointed when she texted after we had eaten our dinner and was saying that Thom might not have liked us talking about him in the manner we had. I told her Thom shouldn't be blaming her and if he was having problems have him call us. We will call him in a little bit to see how he is doing. He's got a long day of driving ahead of him.

It seemed to be a night for calls ... Maury called too and my sister was texting at the same time Alexis was. CS was talking about having gotten her dress for Nathan's wedding. I'm thinking she's going to lose too much weight to have gotten it so soon, but maybe she'll be able to get the same thing in a different size later. She was saying that it would be tailored. I was happy for her excitement. She's only got one son to watch getting married. I know she's going to be very happy with her daughter-in-law.

Maury was calling to check up on Thom. I thought that was real nice for him. He got rigged into our upset over the recording and at one point had said something about it being hard to work with us when we were that way ... He explained something on the order of us being emotionally frail. I think that business really wrecked havoc. I'm glad it's over.

Hmm, I just left a message with Thom. It's almost 10 am, so we're thinking he's definitely driving by now. So proud of him for having graduated. I didn't understand that part before we were thinking for some reason he was graduating on Tuesday, but he actually finished yesterday. It will be so good to have that in back of him. Good Thom!

So between all these people I figured it's the most phone usage I've done in it's entire history of my phone. *Sigh* Because I was as tired as I was though, I took the majority of those messages from the lying down tucked under blanket position. Good ANN! Beside it made Sir Chief pretty happy!

AHA! We finished taping. We're pretty sure by the end that we got the same show, but we'd fallen asleep and hadn't seen a big portion so it had seemed new. We're ok, there's lots of space on the recorder now. *Sigh*

Now maybe we can concentrate more? Hmm, Tuesday we have to remember that the President is going to be on and there will be high coverage.

Hmm, just remembered that Thom had told Alexis that he'd go for some kind of marriage counseling. I just tried calling UIC, but they connected me to a number that wasn't picking up. I might have to wait until Monday morning when I can talk to Dr. Marvin. I'll ask if he can refer us to someplace, unless Thom and Alexis want to go somewhere else. It's just that I trust UIC and if I can get a reference I know it will be a good one. I would love it if Dr. Marvin could talk to them, but I'm not sure if that's possible. If they could come in with a session or two with me ... I'd give it to them without a moment's thought, but I'm thinking Dr. Marvin would want them to have someone that wouldn't be a conflict of interest.

I'll just wait ... Alexis reported the sooner the better. We had talked to her not directly about this, but we'd talked about having Dr. Marvin and how he'd helped us with life decisions. Thom has had a little background with psychological services so maybe he's reaching back to a time that would help. I think basically, he just wants to continue positively. I know he wants to be married. Just have to figure out avenues that might help. We'll have to see ... most of this almost all of it is going to fall on the two of them ... we'll just hope for the best and help when asked.

I think Alexis and Maury are working today ... and I'm not sure about Joe ... and then you know of Rich and Thom driving and then that only leaves us. What are WE doing? I had talked to Alexis and said that I was going to try doing some research work as to all the things that should be done before deployment. I have myself offered as an alternative dinner date for one or both of them tonight, but I think I'm on the secondary burner. It's ok, just wanted to make sure they were covered. I'm pretty sure as Alexis stated that Thom is going to be very tired when he comes in.

I really want to be available for them - especially Alexis I think we share something in our love of Thom and that of being both women. It seems like both of us have a lack of someone close to us of female persuasion and there's some good reason to think that that's where we could help each other out. Both of us have thoughts that are different and maybe more worrisome than our partners. Guys, don't always worry about the same things as we do. I'm really hoping - I introduced her to MarineParents.com. I think she had a negative experience the first time she looked, but maybe she'll stay with it and as one of those women type things we can talk about what we are seeing there. I would really like to know her and spend time with her.

Ok, we're falling back to all that space. You can tell that it worries us, but we're trying to preserve privacy too. This blog is about me ... and yes the affect of the world on me, but then I have to hold some confidences. Well, no not for the fishyman ... he's our key construct! Yay fishyman ... and yes we want to jump his bones! Ok, I know a little too much ... But, you have to know there might be a situation where that could come up too, right? Ok, girls. Shhh, time to calm down!

Ok, soooo that's where we're going to go in a bit, but we're still doing the first morning writing ... it's too soon to lose our way there yet, well maybe for a couple of minutes let me just peek in that direction.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Just a quick notes and some feelings of warmth - a Dr. Marvin day

Good morning … this is me. We don’t have much time today because we woke up late.

I don’t think we went to bed until just after 10 pm. But that was cool. We were IMing with Alexis. I’m going to try to stay away from that … there was a few things though. She gave me a copy of the orders and they state that her and Thom are expected to be in Japan between March 24th and 26th. It’s pretty exciting … I don’t know if things are going to work out that Alexis goes, but we told her in the end that we hoped she would, but wouldn’t expect her to do anything that wasn’t right for her. I believe that. They aren’t at an easy part of their lives.

I felt good though that she was going to go to Thom’s this morning … She’s flying out about 5-5:30 am and getting in there maybe about 9:30 am or so. I wrote it down somewhere else, but think that’s pretty close. They will be driving back together.

She said that she might or they might call on the way back which would really be fine. I think we’re both thinking alike that we want to talk without bothering the other. But, it’s really no both … just don’t want to intrude. She’s very honest with her expressions and I appreciate that in her.

Rich called last night, but we couldn’t interrupt the other conversation so made sure sweetie bear knew that we loved him and are looking forward to his speedy return. The one part we got for sure was that he was pretty tired … *giggle* go figure? Oh AND he caught a fishes! I guess they are far and few between, but that was enough for him to feel happy about. Good fishyman! He understood that I couldn’t stop to talk at that moment. He’s such a cuddlebear!

Hmm, the market just dropped some in Japan to a new quarter low. That can’t be good. Whatever we’re going through here they are going to go through it there too.

I think I have to go take a shower now … I’ll be back soon.

Ok, back! The TV is going through something, so we’ll hope that it returns. Hmm, maybe I should shut it off and then on again … hold on.

Nope that didn’t work … we’ll have to see. Oh oh … Internet is down too … It’s then one of those times like did we pay the cable bill?

Hmm. They really like it better when you pay the bill … that’s what we’re thinking here. So that money went out … It’s a very efficient service. It should be back on in about 5 minutes. We’ll see… Let’s move it on, ok?

Yesterday other than the couple of correspondences with the kids nothing MAJOR happened – just routine work stuff.

WOOHOO!!! That was fast … we’ve got our cable service again! It’s really amazing how quickly they can catch my attention Hehehe. Ok, let’s not get slap-happy.

Rich must be taping, because we’re on a channel with a fishy show. I think I’m going to let that play for a bit, because it reminds me of fishyman. We’ve got about 20 minutes left now. *Sigh*

Ok, at work? Hmm, we were working on Blue bags with Group 1 … that was ok, and then we did some stuff with the singing or at least the sign language. There are a few of them that are lagers. It’s not that they can’t do it, but their minds drift … two of them in particular. We needed to keep drawing back their attention. It’s kind of sad when that happens. It’s like they are not tuned in. We’ll keep trying though … we like to let it get a LITTLE silly just to keep their good moods.

We had them working pretty hard, and then we went into the staff training and did the same thing. We made sure everyone worked hard. It went pretty good, but there are a few different modes that the trainers fell in like one didn’t like to be looking like she was interested, but I think it was because she just didn’t want to not be knowing something in front of them. And, then one was like trying to get across that I didn’t know so much and it was like … Ok, that’s fine, but until you find someone or yourself that knows more, you are stuck with me. Hehehe. It kind of reminds me of the Republicans … complaints, but no better ideas. So, like what use is that?

We figured that we would do some of the key words too. I didn’t do the first real easy song, but I did the second song. It repeats a lot so there were only about 30 words that I wanted to emphasize. I think it’s a lot of words for the clients.

But, I haven’t come up with a better idea for the songs other than signing … I think it’s going to get a little dull because they’ll just be stumbling along for too long a period they’ll get tired and confused. *Sigh* Maybe I’ll wait until next week and then we’ll talk to Sr. Theresa about it. Maybe I’ll come up with a new idea in the meantime. We need to change things up a bit – just need to focus, but not enough time this morning.

The last part … but there’s not too much time for it now … well two things. We’re going to need doing staff training today … and that’s going to take up most of the day. I don’t have it all thought through, but, I know I can figure it out … just have to talk to Sr. first to coordinate plans like what happens for CIRCLES and Thinking group when I can’t be with the trainer directly. Like should we save the tapes for her to use during that time? I’m not sure.

The other major part is that we went to see Dr. Marvin last night. We got pretty giddy. We kept coming up with all these major things that were happening like stuff we’ve been talking about all week. There was a lo to cover. I don’t have the time to go into all that now, but we were pretty slap happy, until just at the end and then I remember someone saying, “We just switched didn’t we?” Dr. Marvin was very calm and understanding … he said, “Yes, you did.” My gosh you just gotta love that guy to pieces and that’s pretty much the gist of the important part other than working through the details.

We talked for a bit because we felt so strong of emotions in looking and talking to him. There was a major regression, but the general gist of things is that we were feeling extremely close to him and we were having trouble adjusting to that overwhelming sense of feelings. It was very intense and extremely gratifying.

*Sigh*

As much as I would like to explore more of these feelings now … I know it’s time to get going for the morning. There is going to be a lot to do today … let’s then look forward to the change over in time and the fact that fishyman comes home tomorrow … woohoo!!!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Some family updates ... It's going to be ok?

Good morning this is me. We’re up earlier … 4 am, but it’s taken us again a while to get here. There’s always the fiddling. It’s 4:45 am now and we’ve got a very heavy crabby cat on our arms. He was upset because we were spending so much time trying to get the new podcasts on the iPod. Shoot Chief has got to know at some point that I have to be the one to set my own routines. He’s making me feel like a rag doll. Do this, pet me, feed me, cuddle me … you know how it goes!

It’s all about him. Hmpf!

Ok, well I just apologized … I gave him a good pet. Yeeks … now the grandmother of the octuplets house is getting foreclosed because she owes about $23,000 back taxes or something. Yeeks. The news people have really gone crazy on that woman. You know she’s waiting for society to save her, but I could imagine society take some of the kids of her hands, though if that had been done to me I’d go crazy. The lady really does need some help.

But, then in the meantime they showed a video of the other octuplet family and those people seemed to have gotten some donations, but basically they live on their own with the father working 2 jobs and the mother taking care of the kids. They lived VERY simply, but seemed to be great kids about 10 years old now.

Ok. That’s over … we had to get some fresh coffee too. Mostly though the kitty left … not that I don’t want to love him, but it is sure harder to type with him laid across my arms. Pswhoo!

So, how did the day go? Well let’s start with fishy-face. He seems to be doing better though he’s still having trouble with the trolling motor. He says it has problems going left and right. I know he’ll fix it as soon as he gets back. I think he’s got a call in already … I know that he’s been talking to Bob and I’m sure Bob has given him a few pointers too. He’s pretty well taken care of.

I’m thinking that because of the way the guys are that they are all talking between themselves how Rich and Ron’s trip is going. They are ALL eager to get out fishing, but then we had snow again here in Chicago yesterday. Rich in the meantime was saying that it was 70 down where he was at. What a guy!

He says the fish catching is still slow, but I think some kind of pressure is being released or he’s started to relax some because he was actually cheery. That was so nice to hear! He also took the time to ask about how we were doing.

The main things for us yesterday seemed to be work wise that we needed to get through some stuff with the songs. And, then there was the personal stuff. One of the parents – one of my favorites was going to donate some swords to the center for the Spring Fling. I had taken a good interest in purchasing them though for Joe and he thought that was a very good idea because he like me YAYY!!! Silly guy!

We worked it out in that I’d suggested a higher price, but then he told me he wouldn’t take more than $30 a piece for the 3. So, we made a deal. I called Joe and told him about them and he didn’t seem overly excited, but then later when I called back to see if I could come the same day instead of waiting til Saturday he seemed a little more excited - more on this though in a bit.

In the meantime I was almost ready to go to the CIRCLES group to teach sign to Group 1 – had 15 minutes left when I got a call from Thom. I won’t go into the details except to say that he wasn’t doing well and that he’d made a choice he said to get a divorce and that he’d been out drinking the night before and that he was going to ask to go to Japan right away instead of coming home in-between things.

I felt crushed for him. I’d hoped all along things were going to get better between him and Alexis, but then that’s not my decision. We’ve got to be here just to support as best we can. I’d like to be able to talk to Alexis … not that I can change anything but to let her know that I wish it were different and that I feel sad for losing her. She should know I have absolutely no bad feelings toward her.

If this is going to happen it might not help now, but maybe down the line. She’s really a good person. They can’t get over the part of her not being with him. He wants her to come and she doesn’t and three years is a long time to do a long-distance relationship with so much anger.

I was pretty upset too that Thom had chosen to go out drinking … I had been drifting off earlier to be back at the MarineParents Site and we’d just been 5 minutes before the call at one of the links to parents with kids in the Intelligence and they were discussing the kid that had gotten in the motorcycle accident and killed. I told Thom that it was the same kind of thing and that I thought he had better sense then that, because I’d certainly be mad as hell if he hurt himself in the same manner.

I don’t know if that makes a difference to Thom, but in case it did … I do want him to know this wasn’t acceptable behavior in my eyes. It’s not to say I didn’t know he was hurting bad. I just have to repeat there are better more adult ways of dealing with it and that meant talking to people.

I also let him know that I’d be much happier if he came home for the time between things. We reminded him that I would take him in a flash as would most likely his father or his brothers. Even if he isn’t going to stay with Alexis there’s no shortage of space for him. I also think that if he’s really going to go through with all this there are other things paper-wise that he should be getting in order.

It probably be best for his dad to sign off as power of attorney, but I’m thinking that if anyone is going to have responsibility over his paperwork here it might be his stepmother.

This might be an awkward thing for me to be saying, but I scared myself with how soon it was before I got overwhelmed before with it. If Thom still wanted me to try I naturally would because I should be working toward my better selves. But, I don’t have a good record with bills and so wouldn’t mind to turn that over to Jackie who I believe to be more regulated. I also think she has Thom’s best interest in heart.

I still think that it should be Thom’s father that has power of attorney, but that’s my general opinion of that.

Things need to be set up with Thom’s son too. I don’t know what the relationship is with Laura, Austin’s Mom, but I think they need to have a working relationship so that Thom stays included in his son’s life.

I had told Joe earlier that I didn’t want to have the swords around. I didn’t want to lug them up the stairs, keep them at the center, or leave them in the back of the CR-V. I kept imagining some thug stabbing me with my own weapons. They were really bruatal things to look at.

I think Joe was excited to get them, but then he stayed in cool mode too. I saw him swish them a few times just to see how they felt. He pointed out their flaws and said that he would try to realign them. I think he was more interested in the shoot forget the name … the Japanese one more that the other “castle” styled swords, but he said he’d take them off my hands. We made a deal that he pay $30 and I pay $60.

I thought that was fair. I wanted him to have them.

I could see that Alex might like to see them too. They’ve got very interested blades that weren’t straight, but swordfish/saw like. Yeeks! Joe said he would ask Sensei Steve to give him some advise on how to handle the Japanese blade. He said that one of his teachers had a sword similar and that interested him I think to have one too. I felt good about it and I thought that he would be careful with them.

Joe told me right away that he had to be getting back to his computer game pretty soon, but that I could stay and talk to him so we took him up on that. We got there shortly after 5 and we left at 6:30 pm. Joe was going over to Cari’s. That was fine with me, though it snowed all the way home and it made driving hard.

Bob the boys’ step-brother was on the Ventrilla with Joe. He had waited patiently while Joe checked out the swords. He knew I was in the room and Joe kept a conversation between Bob and him and us and him. It was slower and more tempered.

You can imagine we didn’t get far before I asked him what he’d heard from Thom.

Joe said that Bob had already told him about the divorce was that what I meant. I said yes and introduced also the subject of him out drinking. We didn’t talk about it much, but it was important that we were all on the same page here. Joe had his thoughts and I had mine, and like with Joe on the way home, I called Maury who was also headed home. He had gotten a call from Thom in the morning about the divorce and that he needed his father’s number for something. I think they needed to talk about Thom staying here over the break, though Thom was still thinking he’d ask about going to Japan early.

Again both Maury and I had our thoughts and then Maury talked for a few moments about personal things that were on his mind. In all it seemed like a very tiring night, but I was more relieved that I knew what they did and they knew what I did.

It seems in all cases that Thom had talked to or through his brothers to each other, so I didn’t feel I was indulging in conversation he would be aware of.

I have quite a bit of thoughts in mind, but I’m going to protect the ones more directly between Thom and the boys. You’ve got a general idea what’s going on.

There is a little more that I will say though as to the affects of what’s happening on my own accord as to losing a son to deployment. I feel here I’m on fairer ground.

As I said before I found myself back at MarineParents. This was the way I’d gotten through the hard parts before and the way I’ll go back again. I don’t know why all the separation over the time Thom’s been in MCT and MOS, but I think it was because for one I felt safer with Thom not being directly in bootcamp and that it wasn’t as new and strange and also because I have to admit I’m still having feelings of being put-out for not being a volunteer. That was crushing … I should probably talk to at least Sandy about it.

Sandy was like the next mother in line that was taking responsibilities and not far behind her was Judee and even Kimmer. These are the same three I’d like to meet-up with down toward Southern Illinois or Missouri. I don’t know if I’ll be included there or not. I think they’d accept me, but I’d really have to do the drive. I would like to though.

I think Sandy would be the one that could understand my feelings and thoughts of being put-off. We know that part of all this too is that there’s a little denial going on as to whether or not Thom is really somewhere that is going to be more dangerous. They are just saying now that 8,000 Marines are going to be sent to Afghanistan and I know that Japan is just a PDS and they deploy from there.

Hmm, we just caught up on our news from over at MarineParents. I am remembering a small taste of how much time it takes to be over there. Not just in writing and reading, but in the reminiscing part. You just get absorbed into the lives of others at the sites you are visiting. I’m feeling incredibly fortunate that it is going to be there again for us. I think we need to get out of the feelings of being a leader, and instead just a regular mother going through strange new feelings. I want to be there for Thom. I think part of the pulling back is that I didn’t want to interfere in the relationship of he and his wife. I know they are the primary relationship.

I have to admit though … I’ve been taken with the idea of asking Thom if Alexis doesn’t fly down to Pensacola whether or not he’d like me to fly down so I could drive back with him. I don’t know how much help I could be, but I am certainly willing to talk or be quiet … whichever would be necessary. I would be willing to give up even the computer if Thom would like me to be there. One of the mothers from the Intel site said that I should go down if I can and that there are so few parents there that they are really appreciative.

I think it would be good to spend the time with Thom. I feel bad for his situation and I’d be looking for the safest route. We’ll try talking with him today. And, then we’ll talk to Rich … we still have to get the money back into the H&R account before we could spend the money getting air flight. I’d ask if Alexis would want to sell her ticket, but I don’t think they are as transferable as they used to be. I don’t know how she would feel about that, but if it were possible and help her to save what they’d put out on the ticket … I would try in that respect to be helpful
If there were any way they were still going to meet to talk over their differences, then that would still be the first option. I feel very strongly that they are still in love with each other, just they can’t get over the location situation.

There was one other thing that I think complicates the situation. We found out yesterday that Alexis hasn’t told her mother that she is married. That seems like a very strange situation, but might explain why the difficulty in picking up and leaving to be with Thom. I’m not sure what’s happening there, but I really can’t say I understand that in the least, unless the mother is objecting to the marriage and Alexis hasn’t confronted those problems. It seems very strange to hide an entire marriage.

Pshwoo. I’m grateful though that I’m just a support person and not the one going through it. I think it’s hard on both of the kids … and we hope the best for both whichever direction it turns out.

So that’s about where we are about now … We’ve only got about 10 minutes before we’re going to need getting dressed. Today is staff training and CIRCLES for Group 2. We’re going to be working with both on sign languages. It was an idea that Maria had and Sister Theresa agreed to – basically, it would be a good time to go over the signs. I don’t know if we’re going to get to the third song or if we’ll just focus on the first two songs. I’ve really got down the first one that is more simple and I worked through the second song yesterday, but there are a few signs I’m still stuck on. I also started to pull together the page numbers for the third song – Our Father.

It took a while to get the words for the song from sister … It would have been easy enough to get something from the internet, but there’s always slight changes, so I wanted to get the version that was going to be sung. Sr. Florine when pushed wrote it out and then we typed it out and got copies to the trainers before we left.

We talked to Holly for a few moments and she really seems to have some grasp, but I’m not sure I can duplicate what she’s doing without some ability to study it … and she seems to change up when going through it making small adaptations. She does have some fluidity though that we haven’t conquered. She suggested that she’d be there at the event and would help, but then we told her that we’d have to adapt to what I could put together and remember and that if she was doing something different then what I’d trained them in … that it wouldn’t really be of help. She says though she can do what we’re doing … so we’ll have to see as it goes along.

I have no problem getting her involved, but I don’t want her to change up everything if I’ve spent time getting them to do it the best way I can imagine. If she was going to be going through session after session and not switching up it would be different. But, I can’t have her grandstanding and confusing what we’ve worked hard to manage. We’ll just have to wait it out and hope for the best. There’s no doubt though … at an upfront level she knows what she’s doing more than me. I’d prefer her to update what we’re working through. But, it’s going to fall back to doing whatever I have to do to be teaching a large group. If I could get out of not leading it then I would, because I’m not real thrilled about standing in front of a large group. But, someone needed to step up to the plate and I guess it was just my turn. Be patient baby!

Ok, about time to go now. Let’s hope for a good day … and we’re going to need thinking more seriously about getting work done, hmm? What about those Qnotes you were going to do? Ok, now this is no time to mess up. Let’s do something we can give Rich a good report on tonight, ok? Just think just a couple more days and Sweetie Pie will be home. We’re doing good, right? WooHOO!!! Yay for Fuzzy bunnies!

Ann Ludford Garvey

Craft yer' jolly roger

Ann Ludford Garvey's Profile

Create Your Badge

The big sleepy kitty's name is Emelia. She's our new computer kitty to match the love of our new computer friends. Think you could get her to play? Sometimes she will whisper secrets in your ear! She's ticklish.

The two cozy black kitties live with us and run the household. They're names are Missy & Chief, or just Mischief.

Dr. M's Program <--Click

Us talking to Dr. M <--Click

This is my Grandma's family. She is the middle of the young girls

This is my Grandma's Blog - Myrtle T. (Press Here)

This is my Grandma and me August, 2006. She makes me so happy. She is 98!

This is my friend V. He's learning to take better care of himself, cuz he scared all of us and needs to get better ... Neither of us and T smoke any more

This is Deb. She's way up high as loved, cuz she's my forever friend! She works hard to keep us straightened out!

Please Click Here for the Full Story!

Click to join MultipleWorlds

Click to join FlyLadyMentors

: Name: Ann Marie; Location: Sandwich (Chicago), Illinois, United States

Hi, we're Ann and all (Aynetal3). We are 58-years and am a Multiple. We have three adult sons and their families and am in a 23-year relationship with our best friend Rich. We have in our home Dakota, our 5-year old collie/golden retriever service dog, and Missy our 19-year old black kitty. Oh, and we keep our psychiatrist Dr. Marvin in business ;) We had been studying at a Master's level Educational Psychology and Adult Education - e-learning, technology and design. We enjoy a strong interest in Self-Regulation and Multiplicity/Dissociation (DID, but w/o so much disorder). We do a lot of curating through reading and writing, and we utilize Word, Mindmapping, Evernote, a few favorite books, and social media (Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Speakerdeck, and Learnist). We believe in the power of the BLOG and "all of our" ability to validate People, especially through sharing conversation, video, and art/images.

View my complete profile

Directory Assistance 1l ed. December 20, 2005 @ 4:30 am
Directory Assistance List Please Copy Freely

Directory Assistance List Please Copy Freely

^{Powered by RingSurf}

Blog Design By: BlogSpot Templates

Guess Where Thom and I Went Today

Someday I might get in trouble for this ... but found some interesting pictures

Friday, February 27, 2009

How I Do Like My Days Off

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Vickie sent this this morning :)

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

A Rather Drifty Morning

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Our Minds are Running Over

Found an Old Picture of Rich for CS

Monday, February 23, 2009

Ok, Startin up a Monday is Standard Fair, Right?

The Guys are Home

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Waitin on the guys

Friday, February 20, 2009

Just a quick notes and some feelings of warmth - a Dr. Marvin day

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Some family updates ... It's going to be ok?

Ayn's Multiple World

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Reasons Why We Love These Pictures

About Me

Previous Posts

Archives

Our Places to Stop First

Directory Assistance List

Team and Community Blogs

Exodus Blogroll

Download List

Jen's Exodus Ring