Ayn's Multiple World

Trying to be Nice

Good morning this is me. Today we’re up in WI. It is the day for Connie Sue to go through her second operation. I think she is pretty used to things, but she’s not looking forward to any extra pain and that always comes with surgeries. I feel bad that she has to go through it even if she does say she’s used to it. Nothing like that can be fun.

Uncle Mark and I are both going to take her. I think that’s fair and reasonable. Uncle Marky asked if we should stay or come back, and we were pretty sure to be saying that of course we’ll stay - If he wants though we can bring computers, papers or whatever to be working on during the surgery. We’ll have to set that up with him before. I’m going to need borrowing CS computer if that’s what is going to happen. She’s usually very generous though with her things. Last night I’d fallen asleep when they were playing with their Wii game and I woke up she was setting up her computer next to me with my Christmas music. I thought that was a very nice thing to do.

Hmm, we just got back from CS bathroom. She has some quilt books and magazines in there. In the book on top there are pictures of little statutes from Jim Shore and then they put the corresponding quilt pattern with it. I’m not sure if you remember, but we gave Sr. Theresa an item before of Noah’s Ark. It was a really cool boat and then the animals on deck were wearing quilted covers and the boat was above some 3D fishes extended up by little metal rods. It was really cool when I saw it. I was surprised to see it here. But, it would figure, I’m finding that in a lot of areas CS and us still have the same kind of interests or tastes. I’ll point it out when she gets up.

We had some nice Christmas surprises when we got here. Rich opened his gift first … he had a few things in his Christmas stocking, but then his major present was a battery starter – I can’t remember by which company, but it was name brand. He didn’t expect something so nice and he was taken back by it I think. Our family is a little different than his family in that our families gifts are usually better.

That’s probably part of the frustration in not being able to get better gifts. I think CS and Mark were understanding.

Uncle Mark got his two boomboxes. I’m not sure what he is going to do with the second better one, but the lesser of the two, he shined up really spiffy and took it to work with him. I thought he’d take both because I pointed out he could have one downstairs and one upstairs. I think he put it in the janitor’s closet and seemed already of last night to be sharing it with the maintenance guy who was also pleased to be hearing the Vikings play the bears. I wish I could have cleaned it up first, but we sat by Uncle Mark as he went over it carefully with Q-tips. I felt good in that it was going somewhere where the person respected it. It is not of value in that it is about 10 years old – mine, Maury’s was newer, but the thing was that there was never anything wrong with them and they weren’t over used or abused. Just I found other ways like Rhapsody of getting music without buying CD’s or tapes, or in listening to commercials. I felt good about that gift.

CS gift was nice, but not nearly as much fun as the gifts she had given me. I gave her the leather laptop case that had come with one of the laptops Thom had given me. It’s a good case and should be big enough for her computer, but it was nothing as grand … we’re still trying to get over that. There were smaller gifts like the popcorn package Sister had given us, a candle with a penguin and a Noel bell and a stuffed Christmas bear, and then there was the picture that was made at work with the firecracker like sparkles. I really liked the picture and thought CS might appreciate the shape and color. It reminded me of quilt patches.

Connie Sue gave us several things. The first one I played with was a ½” tape labeler. I like that gift a lot. I think CS knows that I will be using it to label the quilts I cut out for her. That makes a lot of sense for me and I think it makes the work look and feel more professional. She gave us some extra ½” strips too some in different papers like one is see-through. We made a couple of signs for her and taped them to her fridge. One says welcome back Uncle Marky and the other one says thank you for the gift to CS. I don’t know if she’s spotted her sign yet. We’ll check that out today.

I think everything that I got was quilt related. The biggest gift I think was from … well they were all from Ann’s Quilted Basket, but the pattern and material was especially from her shop. It is a civil war pattern. I’m looking forward already to be making something different. I need to finish the fish though. Maybe I can work on it later today. I didn’t bring anything but that, even though I know CS has other things for me to be doing like finishing the design for Thom’s quilt on her big computer.

There are about 3 little packages of stuff – basically quilt designs where we’ll pick out our own material. But, one of the little packages has 3 cutting things that cut out 7 patterns and then basically the special thing about them is they cut out from 2 ½” strips. That is like the most popular size material that is sold in strips that width and about 42 or 44” in millions of different colors. That was another gift she’d gotten. She got two batik packages with different colors that were 2 ½”. That is going to mean that I should be making up some special quilts.

Maybe they won’t be as big, but they are going to be a lot of fun. There’s some design ideas with the directions that look really fun. I can hardly wait to be doing the next thing and the next. Just gotta finish some fishes.

And, last there were a couple magazines and a couple of cutting rulers. One was for the log cabin pieces and the other was for the pineapple pieces. I don’t know a lot about cutting, but I do know about those things. Our first quilt made with CS and the one we’ll make for Joe and Cari is a log cabin. It consists of making a piece next to a piece – small squares, and then wrapping a bigger and bigger rectangle around it. Commonly they are about 3 layers thick and with alternating bright and dark colors. I’ve already got one cut-out and ready to go. I might be taking it home with me this time. But, we still have to finish Thom’s quilt first. I’d like to have his done by April and Joe’s done by July. Maybe there will be time for other quilts too in-between. Along with the teaching magazines are like we said the special cut-out rulers. My log-cabin one will make finished 1 or 2” rectangles. It seems fairly easy to use … although I learned more from studying the ruler and reading directions than from the presentation Ann made while we were at the quilt weekend. I understand that is where CS got all this stuff. I didn’t know. Hehehe it didn’t surprise me that Ann had helped CS with her purchases. I have to admit … I’m extremely happy with them.

There were other things that happened yesterday, but maybe not as exciting as getting cool gifts. I had fun after we’d open them and after Mark went to the church to work and CS went to lie down and Rich left back for Chicago. Basically that was the time to explore and play with our new toys. There was one thing too that I’m not sure if we’ll tell Rich about, but we gave Nathan $40 last night to take Dani out to dinner. He was very questioning of it and I figured that CS had told him that we were pretty poor. But, I insisted that he took it especially being he was our only nephew. I would have like to give them more, but I was pressing things already. Rich had given us $160 out of our account about $100 will go for medicine I need while up here, so that gave me $40 for Nathan and Dani and $20 more to spend. Maybe medicine won’t cost that much, but maybe it will. We were pretty sure we weren’t going to spend much on being up here. It does mean that I probably won’t be treating out for dinner, but I most likely will use the money toward something up here. Rich said something about bringing him back the change, but I just don’t see how that’s going to happen. It’s just that I felt pretty strong that I wanted to give the kids something … kids is like what Christmas is all about.

We had also gone out for dinner before Rich left. I guess it was more like lunch and then I ate the leftovers last night for dinner. I like it when sometimes it’s a free-for-all. CS knows I like making good use of leftovers. We had eaten the sampler plate so had leftover onion rings, chips, wings, and cheese sticks. Hehehe we gave our olive from the bloody mary to Macey. I’m not sure if she saw that coming, but she ate it none-the-less. Good girl.

I’m thinking now we should take a break and get our shower in and dressed so we can take our medicine proper. It’s about 7:50 am and everyone else is in bed. CS has been up, but goes back to bed. She sleeps lightly. I’d like to be done before everyone is moving around. I’ll wait until she’s up before messing with her sewing machine. Back to the fishes, right? I’ve got 6 more to do before the top is done. I sure would like to get it done. We had originally thought this Christmas holiday we would work on the long arm downstairs, but I’m not sure about that … Without CS being able to get around or do the stairs, I think it might be too much to learn on my own. We’ll have to figure that out out loud with her, because if we don’t do it that way we’re going to have to reserve a time and pay for her friend Cari to quilt the tops. I think she can only do one at a time, so maybe we’ll have to go to her secondary person. The job won’t be as fancy, but the fish will get done. Personally, I’d just like a simple clam design, but I’m not sure that’s just easily doable, we’ll run it past CS and check out the cost.

Ok for now … let’s not be lazy. Shower!

Good good, we’ve done that and we’re good to go. I took the shower, dressed, did the medicine, took out the dogs and gave them a real good petting. CS has been up since then and she was like poking around doing this or that. She’s already thinking of getting Thom’s stuff out. I’m pretty lazy, but still want the shaver to go out. She’s offering to do it before we go to the surgery, but that means I might have to do something and I’m not so crazy about that area. I don’t like doing stuff where I don’t know what I’m doing and requires sitting around while someone else is going through it where I’m just aimless. I’m a very goofy person.

Sometimes I can’t figure out what’s wrong with us. I do know that we’re going to need holding onto the part where I want Thom to get the shaver. That will help.

CS said something about Mark going later … that might be a good idea. I can’t imagine me going into a strange post office. I know, I know just lazy, right?

Well, ok that and easily confused and cranky. *Sigh*

That’s about enough of that. I think CS is going to do her shower. It’s about 8:30 am and all is still relatively quiet. I think we’re going to have to ask her for directions on how to use the sewing machine before she goes into surgery, because we’re pretty sure she’s going to be sleeping afterward. I really do need to do that. Hmm, I wonder what I did with my directions for Thom’s quilt. I could be doing that this morning.

Yeeks we’re close to having a melt down. CS took Thom’s shaver out of the big protected box and she’s messing with it. She said something about wanting to see it, but in our way of thinking it was already packed in a secure bigger cushioned box, so we didn’t want to mess with it, but she gets into her own mind and there’s no arguing with her and then we’re just left to trying not to be cranky. I have to dismiss myself from it … if she’s going to do it then so be it. I just have to be patient. I could figure it out, but that kind of stuff is hard for me. I hate being cranky.

Better go on to something else. I have to assume if she’s doing it then she knows something about what she’s trying to do. Just be calm and patient right?

I don’t know what next to be thinking about. Just trying not to be cranky. We have to remember some of the stuff that Dr. Marvin has said about the relationship and some of the other stuff we’re not going to go in to here. It hurts our brain.

Just be patient, right?

Last night we had a hard time and forced ourselves into falling asleep. CS had gotten her and Mark a Wii system and Mark had complained about it to me on our own, but then Mark had said before going to church that if it were ok, he’d like us to watch a Star Trek show with him after he got back. CS said something about him not asking her, so he did and then she said she wasn’t interested, but I told Mark I would do it. And, then CS came out and pushed that they be doing the Wii, but she was woozy and did a terrible job of doing the simplest of setting things up. She wasn’t following the directions and she was holding everyone hostage as to figuring things out the slow way. I got so frustrated. I tried to tell her a couple of times what she needed to do like in calibrating the machine, but she didn’t want to listen … she had her own agenda. So, basically, again we forced ourselves into sleep. Eventually, I understand her and Mark got something going and played bowling or something. I was asleep. I had told her earlier I wasn’t interested in playing the games. But, she’d determined that she’d gotten it and that people were going to enjoy her purchase.

I suppose this is all my regular negative thinking. I just hate to be forced into things. It was taking her SOOOO long … and I didn’t understand just sitting and sitting … to Mark’s credit though he was very patient with her. Somewhere in there I woke up for a few moments to hear them patiently going through things together.

It did me good to think that they could work in that level of slow mode and that Mark was being so patient and CS wasn’t trying to over-dominate, but would let Mark guide her a bit. I could see Mark’s years of patience in teaching in that he didn’t push, but worked gently on meeting the objectives of playing the game. That was a nice thing. I didn’t stay conscious too long. I just left a mark in my mind that they were working together at the pace they probably do at other times when I’m not around. So at that we let it be into the night.

I don’t know what CS is doing now. She’s disappeared into the back. She tends to just move from one thing to another sometimes getting things done sometimes just working toward things that are more gradual. She might be for that matter taking her shower, she mentioned that as something that she was going to want to be doing. So, that’s fine. Just need to relax our mind. It’s better since we’ve let our medicine work. I’ve got to remember though too to order the medicine. I’m good for today and tomorrow, but will need something by Thursday.

It’s been arranged that Rich is going to bring his daughter to Milwaukee on Thursday morning. I think she has a 10:30 am or so plane, and then he will continue up to here to get me. That really worked out well. I think that Chris was a little put out that he was going to bring her and not him when he wanted to be picked up at 1 am in the morning, but then Rich couldn’t really tell him that he was going to be in the area to get me. It’s like in that camp, I’m not really able to be mentioned in conversation. I think it’s a hard thing to deal with for me, but I’m imagining it’s hard for Chris too from his perspective, so for now we just keep pretending that I’m invisible. That seems to have been a chief complaint growing up, but then that’s kind of the deal we signed up for. As long as Chris isn’t interested in meeting me or seeing Rich’s place then we just have to let that go. I’d like to think he’s at a loss, but then maybe this is just the way it’s going to go possibly forever. *sigh*

We had gotten up to the point of having been with Jillian and Dawna on Saturday night. That was very nice. I felt very comfortable with the girls. I couldn’t tell you if I wanted to what kinds of things we were talking about, just that it seemed familiar stuff and very comfortable. I felt all smiley just thinking of who I was sitting at the table with. I liked both the girls A LOT! The next morning we went to the Hi-view restaurant with Joe and that was very nice too. I missed that Cari wasn’t there, but she’d gotten sick.

Joe gave us our present of a couple of pictures of he and Cari and their male and female boxing gloves. I love the pictures. I had saw them on-line when Jacki took a picture of Joe’s grandma and that she’d gotten the same. I was hoping then that we would too. One of the pictures they are kind of cuddled together with big bright smiles, and then in the second picture they are like back to back with tough guy expressions as if they were Mr. and Mrs Joe Bond hehehe I love it! I thought that was it and was ready to go on, but then Joe reached around his neck and pulled out a most wonderful scarf that Cari had made. She had just asked the day before which colors I liked best and I had thought after seeing his grandma’s picture that they might mat something for me. I had forgotten completely that Cari makes scarves and other things like it.

I told Cari that I liked best like a moss green and a matching deeper red … and that’s the colors she put in my scarf. MANOMAN! I couldn’t have asked for a better gift. I’m so happy with it. It’s real soft material and it goes very well with my red coat. I just fell for it heads over tails. I’m so lucky to be getting her in the family. I think she makes Joe very happy and he her. It’s a good match.

The conversation at the breakfast table was comfortable and it seemed that everyone was getting a chance to talk. This kind of conversation reminded me of the kind I’d missed so much when I used to meet Joe at DeKalb. It was pleasant and involving and just plain nice. Joe seemed a little less angry at me than he had in the past. He wrote something in his card about me getting to know Cari better and us being more family like. You couldn’t have dreamed a better and more looked forward to statement. We agreed that we could meet at least every 4-6 weeks and that would help a lot. I’m looking forward to it and because Joe is economical neither of us mind meeting at the hi-view where things aren’t so terribly expensive of fancy. It’s a good deal. I look more forward to talking with the two of them.

I’d really like to get to know Cari better. It seems she gets a long very well with Joe’s dad and his wife, but there’s no reason we can’t get along too. It doesn’t have to be competitive. Just I don’t want to be ignored like we have been lately. I don’t mean to get grumpy about this – just I miss not having an active relationship with my kids.

I think we’re not going to be meeting them on this next following weekend, but that maybe we can still take Maury out on Saturday. I think something though is going on with Rich and Chris in that because his girl Christy can’t get off on New Year’s Day, they are going to go to his mother’s on Saturday instead. This means I get Rich on New Year’s Day and New Year’s Eve. He said something about doing a turkey on the first, and I added that if he wanted he could invite Bob over. I did say that on New Year’s eve I wanted him all by himself. I just love the thought of starting a new year with our lover bunny. 

Maybe we can go out with Maury on Sunday for breakfast at Toni’s again. He said something about being in this weekend. So, that would be a cool thing. It would really finalize this big holiday season when there’s been so much visiting and such.

Hmm, CS has the same Skype sticker on her computer as Rich did on his – just noticed that. If I were either of them I’d taken it off, but I better let it be because it’s not my computer, right?

I think CS is almost out of the shower. I asked her before and she said she thought it take about a half hour to show me what she needed to show me on her sewing machine. Can’t emphasize enough making some progress on the sewing – I really took a big break in that I had worked so long and hard on cutting the pieces. I really enjoyed that though and had filled a pretty big container. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but Ame really wanted to use the few bigger pieces that had been cut. She doesn’t quite have the system down of sewing small patches or expected them to go together. We have to get past the part of her being a little fearful of the machine. She sat back from it and didn’t naturally reach out to hold or guide the material. She did it half-heartedly with her left hand while her right hand held back her hair. *Sigh* All to be learned … I should have shown her more of what it looked like, but we’d gotten stuck doing it all in the living room where we could be more social, but then I had to give her the foot stool so she could do the pedal and that left me on the floor un-assessable to using the foot pedal. We didn’t want to further push her away by making her lose her chair.

The next time we will use the kitchen table so we can both work on it comfortably.

I’m still going to need come up with a place for it. We need a cover for it and we need a place to leave it out, but out of the way. I had thought it go under the dishes on the lower shelf, but it turns out to be too tall. For the time being we left it at the back table per Rich’s directions, but I really don’t want to leave it there. Maybe we are going to have to adjust one of the shelves on the bookcase and put it there. There’s a lot of stuff there that could use some re-arranging.

I left all the little stuff in one of the plastic bins and we put that back under
the bed. Fortunately, I was able to get in both bins. The other one is still empty, but I plan on putting in more cut pieces. I don’t mean to hold them back from CS and I think we’re going to have to ask her again about it and if there weren’t certain size pieces she’d like back here at her house. I know she’s also struggling for space, but all this material has come from her and I want to be fair in getting it back to her. Just have to check it out.

Ok, we’re back. We used the washroom and got ourselves some Mountain Dew. We ran into CS. She was just finishing getting dressed. She’s downstairs now looking for Thom’s box. She decided to do one big one for both books and shaver. I wish I could think of something else to give him. I know she wants to do a special card, but I’m more like this kid is breaking my heart and its hard to think of him. I don’t know why we’re freezing up, but really this is not my house and I don’t want to put a lot of someone else’s stuff in there because it’s one not mine, and two not Thom’s style. Basically I just want to put a note on it saying we loved him and hoped it been a Merry Christmas.

Ok, good good. We made a sticker from our new label maker. That’s about as much fussing as I can do. Yeeks. She said because she got the box I could do the rest and I’m really not the fussing type. She asked if she should wrap it and I’m like I want you to be inconvenienced as little as possible, but that I don’t want to do it more. I’m more like the one that just sits at the computer and thinks – not does. Moving is hard for me and if we’re going to be up we’re certainly not going to be up moving around people that are up. Too much, too much.

We’re just going to try and pretend and maybe it will go away. Things feel hard.

Good, she’s doing it. This is probably the wrong kind of thinking, but it’s hard for me to do that kind of thing. I feel younger, but not totally irresponsible; just don’t want to interact with anyone. It’s hard being me, because I have to handle being around people and not having them expect anything from me. Dr. Marvin says to be careful because of the amount of manipulating CS does and now she’s doing something that I should be doing and I still feel strong armed.

Now she’s talking to me and we’re trying to pretend we’re invisible. This is sort of the feeling I have when we’re around our Mother. We just need a place to be out of the way. We just told her we’re one of the parts that is not very helpful and then she said it was fine because she had anxious energy to be spending. That seems then like a good compromise. I’ll just sit here being helpless. Rich would say something like I should get up and take responsibility, but I’m pretty sure I’m not a responsible part. I think I could stretch for Thom, but not while someone else is around hovering. And, I wouldn’t know how to do anything, but box it and put on an address and then take it to the post office and have them tell me what to do. I can feel my eyebrows furl over thinking this is all too hard, but then CS wants to do something here with labels and such and we’re like way over our league and we DON’T want to learn a hard way to do something. This is the kind of thing we would take to the UPS guy and say send it here and how much money do you want.

Hmm, she’s studying the computer I think she wants to do some hard stuff, but no no no … we can’t do it!

Hmm, we’ve been here before haven’t we. Maybe I should eat something? Hmm, there’s pie in the fridge! Maybe we should have a piece of that. That would make me feel better. Dog is barking … this is like one of those things that is too hard. I don’t know if I could get up where she wasn’t trying to tell me to do something. We’re going to make a terrible nurse. Rich says we’re to make ourselves available and just do things that she needs and asks for. We’re concentrating all our energy to being able to do something like that, but I guess the magic hasn’t happened yet. *sigh*

Hmm, we just ate a piece of chocolate pie. It was very good. There’s one piece left, but I figured I shouldn’t take both pieces, right. We told CS that we were pretty sure we could get ourselves a piece of pie. I think she understands to some extent. She’s still fussing around on the computer, but then she’s into this and that and has veered off course. We offered her her own computer back, but she says she doesn’t need it.

There I did a good Ann. We put the books and shaver in a box WITH our love you label, and we added a picture of the three boys when they were young, and then we put the air bubble in and we taped the box shut … she’s still messing around with the computer, but that was about how much endurance we had. We let Macy out too, but this messin is just like last night when the messing takes too much time and it gets us frustrated. We told her we would just take it to the UPS store and they would fix it and make sure that we covered the cost. It’s just my tolerance level. I think we get that from our parents. It’s a horrible quality.

Ok, just blow it off … about time to go into something else, right? I like the music and it doesn’t seem to be bothering her too much yet. I expect she’s going to want to watch one of her shows sometime in here, but she might be having a hard time concentrating too. Just let it be. She says Mark will need to get up within the hour. It’s about 10:15 pm and he’s still sleeping and that we have to leave at 11:30 am. So, I’m in favor of waking him up in 15 minutes. That way he can think through with us if he wants to bring any of his homework, or if he just wants to bring his computer and I would bring CS computer … I have permission to do that now. Either way … just if we can get some of his work done, he’d be having a nicer vacation this week, because it wouldn’t pile up on him. I asked CS about it and she wasn’t sure what had to be done. It might be just thrown away or it might be necessary to grade it and then throw it away? I’m not sure … seems like that sort of stuff should go back to the student?

I feel a little funny knowing that some of them probably tried to do a good job with it and then here it was … just all stacked up on someone’s kitchen table. I suppose that be the way things get done in the real world.

Hmm, she’s coming out with all this stuff she said is sewing stuff. *sigh* it will be ok, she said let me know when you want to learn this … I’m avoiding whining, but said instead we might as well do it now. And, then she sat down with the other stuff so said she had just given me a heads-up why didn’t she just be more direct?

Ok, stop whimpering. Now Uncle Marky is up. He wasn’t very clear on what there was to do with that stuff. He said something about lesson plans and that most of the work was probably recorded already, so we aren’t going to worry about it … we figure we better bring CS computer. We plugged in the mi-fi card so that would be ready. I hope it has enough time to charge. We’ve got just over an hour. Mark came out all dressed and everything so that was a bit of a surprise. Go Mark!

Ok, just more putzing around. She’s still on the computer. She updated Mark’s security. I know she doesn’t usually go a straight line. It’s bothersome waiting for her to do one thing when she’s doing other stuff too. It’s an inconvenient wait. Best to just disregard for the present and come back to it later. I wish I wasn’t so crabby or demanding. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. She’s doing something nice for me, but I am still crabby. She’s trying to figure out the AP address … I said we’ll just ask when we get there and that it was taking too long and too much energy. But, then she said she was doing other stuff too, and it was like well Yah! We know that. Ok, you be patient, be patient. Just calm down.

She then just asked Mark if we could stop by a mailing place nearby. He said fine. And, ok, then that’s enough. Case closed put away our thinking caps. But, she’s still putzing over that. I think she has a hard time if she doesn’t have all the answers, but I figure why study up … we can just ask them how to do it. It’s their job.

This is why we didn’t write from here before … we spend too much time complaining.

I hate this about us. We just complained again …. And she said she’s updating her program. Ok, FINE … so she’s off our wooden nickel. She grumbled back. I figure we’re getting very pesty, just we don’t like being open to all that someone is trying to do something for us, because then we’re going to owe something back and that’s not where we want to be because it’s always somewhere inconvenient … like updating stuff and we’re still going to have to go through learning the sewing machine, but now we have to stop by the other place it’s already 10:30 am and things are going to be getting rushed. Why can’t we do something in order and straight through. I think this comes from not going to work and having to do something on schedule with or in and around other people. She’s learned to mozey.

Ok, we’re back to me complaining and complaining for no obvious reason other than everything seems to be an irritant. I have little patience or tolerance. That part is just a fact, right? I’m not having fun. I hate to be tied up with other people … just give me free open and easy country. Dependencies they are terrible.

Oh man no she’s saying something about UPS not accepting AP addresses and we got cranky saying that I thought you were updating your program. She said she was … but but … yeah … and that’s the part I didn’t want to be responsible for was that she still was messing with the package. THEN FINE … we’ll go to the post office, but now she’s saying that we’ll leave earlier. Did we just say that? But, she is still sitting there still mucking around. Just give us a new time or let us mail it later. This is NOT worth this kind of bother or focus. Lordy, why is this so hard. I know she is trying to do something hard.

Dr. Marvin said this is part of the manipulations. She’s trying to irritate me into a mood … and we’re falling for it. Undoubtedly, she got unpleasant feelings about the surgery, and that’s being transferred on to me by doing all this stuff we didn’t want to be doing before the surgery. I don’t want to be beholden. She spends the extra time and then we are supposed to be indebted to her. But, it would be easier to just do ourselves. Lord I hate this sort of thing. We just have to calm down right? Shoot have we been here.

That would figure … Rich must have been feeling my pressure. He guessed right that we couldn’t talk, but that I’d been building up frustration. He was laughing with us and helped take the pressure down. So then when we got off-line we asked her when should we be leaving. And, she guessed 15 minutes but worried that it would be enough time. Like don’t be worried about us we can be ready whenever, but then she said we should leave in 15 minutes because she needed to print out the label, but now or at least since she’s been fussing around again. I said that if you need time to do all that and we’d be spending less time at the post office, then we could leave at 11:15 am – which is a half hour. She still hadn’t told Mark the time so then it would be like he would make us late because he doesn’t know he’s got a new deadline.

I think the morphine pump is making her a little unorganized. I hate double booking time. And, she wanted to get all the sewing done too that just wasn’t going to happen. I could or probably said something like that before. Doesn’t she have a sense of time? Hmm, she’s up … had to remind her to tell Mark, but she said she was on her way and going to do that. I thought the way she putzes she was going to need that extra time. She hasn’t played with the dishwasher or done the dogs yet. I know she’s going to want to go through all that too. Maybe we better close up so we can do some of that stuff.

She’s still messing with the labels. How long have we been talking about this? 5 Pages? Ok, Shhh … post, get your shoes on and take the dogs out, k? We’ll hopefully get going and not worry so much. Maybe just tense. Let’s not take it out on others, k? Especially, when she’s trying to help. Let’s practice BEING NICE!

posted by Ann Marie @ 12/29/2009 10:50:00 AM Comments: 0