Ayn's Multiple World

Christmas post happy person!!!

Good morning. This is me and it is the day after Christmas. Thom and I’ve connected and now we are virtually shopping together. Well, since Thom is looking and I’m typing, maybe it’s more like virtual message box waiting Hehehe … woohoo … we got to shop together!

I mean really together. I found the shaver that he took. He was being a careful shopper too. We got him a Panasonic ES8109S Wet/Dry Shaver with Nano Technology and HydraClean System!

AHA! This is it!



Nice, hmm? Well, actually I don’t know how it is supposed to look, but this is the one we got. It does cleaning too and is set to work in foreign countries. It is supposed to have a adaptable voltage thing. We had to ship it to Connie Sue’s because they couldn’t ship to APO address. That’s ok, we got 1 day shipping and then it should arrive by Monday at her place. If we were really lucky it would get there before Rich left and we could go to the mail box with it, the books, and the CARF stuff sitting in the car.

I am so excited to have done what we did with Thom. He said he was looking at American stores, and then we went to Amazon and found a nice one 4.5 or better of 5 rating out of 210 people. That’s good stuff. I really depend on the Amazon ratings – very helpful. Thom must have too because before I recommended he was reading the reviews. He said it seemed good. AND, he said he could wait the few days for it so we’re very excited to have gotten him something he wants and needs. Good Mom! It was marked down from $179 to $110 too so I wasn’t too much over-budget – so Rich can say GOOD ANN!

Yesterday turned out to be a nice day. You heard how the first part had gone with Rich – I think a pretty good day. He had an extra gift laying in the bedroom right before we left for his mothers. We were very surprised!

I tried to get the headphones to work on the way out, but I’d forgotten to bring the directions so that didn’t work out so good. We had a good drive with Rich both ways.

We got there about 30 minutes late, but we had to stop at the bathroom because of me so that ate up some minutes. Also we ran into some bad traffic with the snow coming down. Rich’s brother and nieces were at his Mom’s and Bud’s. It still took awhile after we got there for the dinner to be put down on the table. That seemed ok, especially because Rich stayed in the kitchen and helped Bud. His mother gave the directions. I didn’t hear too much fighting, but Rich said afterward, he had had to intercede some. I was very glad that he volunteered to work with them. It assisted his mother and Bud in staying calm and not feeling overly put out.

I heard Bud say twice to his granddaughter’s that they’d have to help in the kitchen washing dishes afterward. They kinda blew him off. I volunteered naturally right after dinner was done, but Bud was like … no sit down and relax. So we said ok, but after a bit when it became clear the granddaughter’s weren’t going to work in the kitchen, I sorta slid in and did the minimal work that had to be done. They had an empty dishwasher so nothing was very hard.

I talked to Mark and his two kids and watched Mark’s grandson. Chance is about 5-6 years old and was heavily invested in a hand game he’d gotten for Christmas from someplace else. That seemed ok, because it gave the adults more time to talk. I tried very hard to stay in the conversation, but sometimes it was just between father and his girls, and very often it was just between the two girls. They seem to lean on each other for emotional support. I think they accept their father, but they didn’t really grow up with him, so there is always some mental distance. He tries very hard to interact and please them. Mark is gruff, but sensitive underneath.

Dinner was very good and I had a full helping. They had cooked spiral ham and had a lot of extra fixings. Everyone was able to sit at the extended table, though Chance did not eat and played his game through dinner. Having children around during Christmas is very nice, but it’s nice too when they have their interest tuned into something. Last Christmas we met, he ran around a lot and people gut a little ruffled. I talked to Rich beforehand how everyone took their turn on telling him he was going to be spanked. Not Rich of course, but the others. It was hard on my nerves. This time they were still doing things like saying they were going to take away his gifts if he didn’t behave. That’s a horrible thing to say to a kid on Christmas. He really wasn’t doing anything wrong. The mother said and the Aunt and the boyfriend said … he acts up a LOT. I think with that many adults and so few kids, there are probably issues on boundaries. BUT, I’m a distant person in the family … so will stay out of all that.

I enjoyed seeing Rich’s two nieces again. Crystal had a new camera and was taking plenty of pictures. Her boyfriend Tom had gotten the camera and he seemed a little overdone and she was … well excited to be taking pictures. It’s always fun to see someone with a new toy they love. I think Brandy is the shier one, but we had a nice thing happen in that we shared a couple wine coolers. I liked that part a lot. It gave me a way to interact with them – although limited. I like the girls basically. They are still young, Hehehe but at 50 years of age young is different.

Actually the girls are about 28 and almost 30.

After dinner there was presents to open. Rich and I had an agreement I think with his Mom and Bud that our presents to them and theirs to us wouldn’t be opened until Sunday with Jon and Jillian. That seemed like a good idea, but it was a little uncomfortable in that I was the only one without presents. But, alas – let’s think back to the part of being 50 … and figuring out that’s ok, too. The really fun part is watching Chance – the great grand nephew open gifts. He didn’t spend too much time looking at the gifts, but his face seemed to relay that he was pleased with them. I think mostly he was getting hot wheel things and he got a device and some books so that he can learn to read to himself. It was some kind of print reader – maybe with some kind of a wand. The stories looked to be something that would interest him.

The gifts at Rich’s parents are usually small, but the girls each got a little money along with Chance, and Mark got a couple shirts, some pants, and a belt from Rich.

There was some disagreement on sizes in that Rich thinks his brother needs bigger sizes and his brother thinks small sizes. Rich’s point was that he was wearing smaller pants only because they fastened under his stomach. *sigh* They are brothers. I don’t think the brother liked his shirts too much, because they weren’t the regular kind with animals such as wolves on them, but then Bud gave him a shirt with pictures so he was at least excited by that - Rich’s shirts although T-shirt style would be considered fancy because there were no pictures on them.

I think that Mark was touched that he should get so many presents even though there were only two boxes for him from Rich. He got from the others too so that was very nice. He seemed to be saying as if he didn’t deserve all the packages. We might have said something about him being more valuable than he might be thinking. He’s really worked hard in his life and is of rougher cut than Rich, but he is Rich’s brother, so he deserves the best!

After presents there was a little time to eat some strawberry cake before we left.

That was nice. Again the girls and Mark took the back of the mobile home living room and we sat with Rich and his Mom and Bud. There wasn’t too much stress so that was nice. I had commented to Bud once to be nice. I think this is standard for us too because Bud almost seemed to expect it. I think we got one of those out on Mark too. His reaction was that he was never good, but we disagreed with him. Just told him he had to be nice.

I’ve really got no business do this, but I think if there is one thing I can pass on to the family – especially at the Bud, Mark, Mom level is that they should be nice to each other. None of them have so many other people in their life that this connection shouldn’t be treated as any other then golden. I’m in that boat too. I have very little family and I consider them part of me. The selfish part is that it turns my stomach in weird directions to have so much arguing, so on that behalf I’m selfish. I want things to be peaceful and loving. I’ll work toward that.

As a whole it turned out to be a pleasant event. There was the traditional problem of smoking I tried hard to work with … Rich’s Mom, brother, two nieces, and Crystal’s boyfriend all smoke and it’s done in a very small mobile home. At one point I got permission to turn on the fan, but toward the end it was making Rich’s Mom too cold so it got turned off. It was much nicer with it on, but I wouldn’t want to chill her. It did have something to do though with how long I felt comfortable staying. I really needed some fresh air in the end. Maybe that’s what happens to people who don’t smoke. All I can do is apologize to Rich over and over again for being a smoker for such a long time. Lord please let him forgive me.

AND, let my granddaughter’s forgive me … my children? I’m not so sure. Still remember me walking into Maury’s house and him fabreezing me. That’s a hard egg to swallow.

Ok, enough of that. Rich seemed to have a pretty good night. He didn’t seem to argue with anyone while he was there. There was a small melt-down just before getting there between us. We had stopped at a gas station to use the washroom and I came out with an 82 cent package of cookies. That pretty much tilted Rich in the wrong direction. It took a little work to get us nice again – by that I mean the two of us. We usually take the position that sounds like – you are not the boss of us! And, he’s like when are you ever going to learn.

After a few moments of that we were like … does this mean you are going to be mean to us at your mother’s house. Frozen reaction. But, we talked and things settled down. Rich is quick to displease, but doesn’t usually hold a real grudge. We talked of some of the nervous scary feelings we were going through – we knew in the past that we are a nervous eater AND we were hungry although Rich was sure we were going to spoil our appétit.

He said I thought you like my Mother. And, we had to agree, we really did like his mother, but there were somethings that were harder for me to handle like the smoking and loud yelling. I really had a lot of trouble with both of them while young and having it at the holidays seemed that much more difficult. I could imagine out where everyone would sit and what kind of conversations or voice tense and how the girls would react between them and how the adults would treat Chance, and how But would treat his wife. I really don’t have too much negative in the way Rich and I are together. We are always very nice to each other and others – though sometimes Rich will argue with his brother or yell at his Mom. Then we get cranky after we are alone together in the car.

Always it seems there is some kind of debriefing. This is what I thought, or that is what he thought. Afterward, we both sort of let that go and we are back to talking about things that Rich and I talk about. Not so much arguing or disappointments as when things don’t go real well with his Mom’s. Usually Rich allows me room to be myself, but might complain especially if I overeat. I really do love the hell out of Rich. I’d go in to his family situation no matter how tough, just because I want to support him and help him be happy. That’s sorta-like my job! Hehehe

So that’s about it of that. We were glad to get home, although we remember commenting to Rich how much we enjoyed being in the car with him. During the last few miles the traffic was slow so we were getting a little ancy to be at home. I had in mind that we were going to wrap the granddaughter’s presents. It took us a while to get there in that we came home and felt a little zombie like especially while Rich was still in the bathroom. We both slipped into our pajamas as soon as possible and made sure the smoky stuff got to the dirty clothes. I was disappointed although I expected my new shirt from Rich to be smelly. That’s just the way it is I guess.

After not too long, Rich and us fell into our grooves. He was in his chair and with computer watching the old Sherlock Holmes, and we sat on the couch with wrapping paper and presents listening to Sherlock Holmes. It was a very pleasant space, and like I’d expected after you wrap a few presents it comes back to you and there you go! We wrapped a LOT of presents. Most of them came directly from CS so we were more than appreciative of all she’d given us. Some of the things won’t be as exciting to two little girls, but I think at their age the joy of unwrapping and having surprises goes a long way.

In our minds it’s all worked out so that when they come here and see the clothing boxes under the tree, we figure one of them will ask if that is their presents.

Hehehe I’m so pretty sure of that it gives me fits of giggles. Then we’re going to say … oh, I’m sorry no those aren’t for you. I’ll be able to watch their faces unsmile for just a second, and then we’re going to say we put YOUR presents under the bed and forgot to take them out! And, then they will follow me into the bedroom, we will unroll the large container from under the bed all the way into the living room and have at it!

There’s no presents for anyone, but the girls. I am going to let Isa open the first present and she’ll get the little battery operated sewing machine. And, then we’ll let Ame open the next package and she’ll get the coffee container with small sundries. After that we’ll let them each pick out a present every other child until all the presents are open.

We’re going to have to say that most of the presents should stay here that are sewing orientated. There are a few extra that aren’t for sewing like the clay, but most of it we’ll say will go back in the plastic container under the bed. We’ll need to say something about them having so many things at their father’s and mother’s and grandmother’s place, that this will mean they have stuff at this grandma’s house to play with. I hope that’s going to be ok. It’s the part of the plans I’m most scared of, but I will tell them that anything they make at Grandma Ann’s can be taken home or given to anyone they want. I hope that helps even things out. And we have some small plastic packages of foam pieces they can cut and glue right away so something is going home just in the brief time here. I DON’T mind if the clay goes home because that stuff can be a mess. *giggle* well there has to be some fun for grandma too!

I figure after they get all through with the rather small packages, that Ame is going to say – is that all the packages. And, we’ll put on our thinking face and say, well it seems there are maybe just ONE or TWO packages left. And, then we’re going to go back in the bedroom with them and we’re going to get Isa’s box of fabric and Ame’s sewing machine. I know that they will share things more than that, but I’m sure they will each open and spend some ownership of both. Ame can be the one sewing for now, but she’s going to need Isa’s cloth and Ame is going to make something out of the cloth and that can go somewhat to Isa. I’ll suggest to even things out that Ame do that relatively soon … And, we’ll also have a way to break things up because Isa will get the little battery sewing machine.

*sigh* I hope at least this is the way it happens and I’m really so extremely happy with it – the plans at least that I’m feeling filled up with glo-worms. I’ll figure on appreciating deviations from the plan as spontaneous … so we’re really planning on not being disappointed.

I’m afraid the worst thing is going to be they have to go home before they get much time to play with the new things. That’s going to be a little rough. I hope though that they will encourage their daddy to bring them back often, and I hope in this way to add support to the girls as they are going through their moves this next couple of months. They will move out of their house – in January or February, and be staying only at their Grandma-grandma’s until Maury gets his place in August. I would really because of that like to see Maury bring the girls over to be here as much as possible. That way he can step out of Lauren’s space over at the Mom’s
Everyone I’m sure will be ready for Maury’s move in April, but for now … I’m really looking forward to helping out in any way I can.

Maury said something funny the other day while he was here when we were discussing the girls coming over. He said almost in a negative way, but not really that no one else was giving the girls as much as we were and that was without him knowing of all the little packages we have planned. I’m hoping that because the girls were over at Maury’s Dads and their Mom’s parents and they’ve already gone through Christmas at Maury and Lauren’s that this will be a grand finale.

I didn’t mean to outspend anyone. That hadn’t been thought through by me. I did mean to get something special to them which seemed for a gazillion reasons to be the right time and thing to do. All these years, Maury has impressed that I only give money gifts – so the only real gifts given other than money was in how we presented the money like in purses and bags and such.

This is the first year we’ve gotten to shop for our granddaughters. True most of the little stuff comes from CS, but the whole notion of sewing is something that comes from my heart with CS’s support. I couldn’t be more thankful for what CS is helping me do. Maybe today we’ll go to CS Facebook site and the girls can help me right a thank you letter for helping grandma give them a nice Christmas. And, then I plan to give CS the picture of Maury and the girls on our fridge. That should make things a little better.

Ok, we’re back again. WooHOO! Except this time we are all showered, dressed and the house is all picked-up again. We’re doing real well. It’s about 9:30 am. I’m hoping that Maury and the girls will be here in about a half hour and by then Rich will be back. He went to the grocery store a while ago to get the necessary things for making chocolate chip and marshmallow pancakes and bacon. He’s such a heart-love! It was his idea to add the chocolate chips for the girls. They do like their sweets.

We also put out a little bowl of the granola mix we got from Santa’s stocking yesterday. We figured that would hold people off until breakfast. Rich thought we should open the presents right away and he came up with a contingency plan to pick up Jillian and Dawna in Joliet if that became necessary. I was a little disturbed that they could not handle things on their own, but between Chris, the mother, Jon, Jillian and Dawna … they were like feeling half abandoned and without ability to get through the snow. I mean it is snowing, but REALLY it isn’t that big a deal. Ok, so that’s an opinion … mostly of someone just wanting Rich around on her granddaughter’s day.

Instead he might be trucking them around. I’m more disappointed than anything … I’m really hoping that they can drive themselves back to Algonquin so Jillian can come this way to get Dawna to the airport without Rich being out of touch for a couple hours during my most valuable time of the year.

I know that he would do anything for the family, but I think they should have been able to handle this without him. Ok, letting that go.

The back-up plan is that Rich does all the extra transporting on his own so we get the girls for a little more time … in this sense he would go out and get Dawna and Jillian and then just pick me up here and we’d eat somewhere close instead of the fancier Flat Top. That part I like. I know Maury and the girls like Flat Top, but I prefer something a little less modern. I like going to a restaurant and them putting on the plate a complete well-balanced tasting meal. At Flat top you go in and put together your own combination and then they do the frying or grilling. I never come out ahead with that deal. BUT, if that’s where the group is going I’m there!

I look forward to seeing Jillian again … I’m a little more scared of Dawna because she’s my own age, but in general … we’re looking forward. We’re wearing a peach over-shirt with a maroonish undershirt so we’re hoping we float by with that. The rest of the ensemble is a jean skirt and my regular tennis. I never wore this combination before, but it gives me the bigger over-shirt with the more holiday festive red. Eh, so I wasn’t a designer. Working with fabric has made me a little bolder.

AHA! Rich is home now. It is 9:40 am. 20 minutes for him to get ready in the shower and dressing and 20 minutes for Maury to get here with the girls, AND 20 minutes more for me to type! Well, more or less. Need to be flexible, right?!

We helped Rich put away the few groceries he got. I’m really impressed with the time he made. It feels like we’re doing real good together the grandpa and gramma thing, but he told Isa last time to call him Rich instead of grampa. I guess that’s ok, but I did like the sound of being a matched set.

It was funny … earlier Rich and I had talked quite a bit between me writing and then going over to be social while he woke up. We talked about all kinds of stuff, but the question of not being a wife came up in some sort of abstract way. Hehehe … never saw someone named Rich back-pedal so fast. He was funny … no no no never never never! *Sigh* Girl’s gotta try!

I’ll definitely settle for having a live-in lover. Just don’t know what to tell the girls … guess it’s better now in that they are only asking indirectly I’m sure to their folks, and someday they’ll ask us and we’ll get through it. Rich was kinda embarrassed last time, but Isa asked him about the mole on his face. He is very self-conscious about it and then more-so that a child would notice, but he seemed to get through even that! He’s doing so good really about going past his internal comfort level.

I’m feeling pretty good by now. I like that everything is on track and seems very fluid. Rich is going to have to excuse himself for a few moments at some point to put together Dawna’s packages, but other than that and his shower and getting dressed I think he’s good to go.

AND, it’s been all morning since I reminded you how happy we were with our new keyboard. Wow. You thought that escaped us, right? Fat chance! It’s really, really comfortable and much less stressful on the fingers. Right now the keyboard at work is the worse and actually that’s not way bad.

Hmm, I was thinking that Maury might ring any moment, but then we forgot he lives here. It seems something he doesn’t do when he’s got the girls – like they are still all the folk from Lombard. Sure am happy they are going to be here. Oh, and you know what? We’re getting an extra visit in. Cari can’t be here, but Joe is going to go out with Rich and us tomorrow. We’re going out in the morning before we go to back to Rich’s folks with this time just Jillian and Jon. I’m looking surprisingly forward to that too. I want to see how all the people relate to each other. I like all these folks and already feel closer to both Rich’s kids, especially more than with Crystal and Brandy although I’ve met them a few times.

Rich basically doesn’t really know too much about them. But, I hear about his own kids all the time. Well, actually at least the number of times I can shake a “nothing really happened.” Shoot … I want all the details!

We’re going to meet Joe in Villa Park at the hi-low place. It’s a little casual diner that fills up fast with crowds. Food is fair and reasonable and it’s not so fancy, nor too poor. It should be interesting and more conversational with just Joe. I think sometimes he has to carry on more of a role with Cari. But, I don’t know if the difference isn’t Rich. We’ll find out. Hmm, now that I remember it was sorta ok with Joe and Cari and Rich and us. But, pretty much, I was the thorn in everyone’s side. I wanted and fairly demanded to know why I had to be such a stranger to Joe.

This morning it was a little strange too in that when I went through the family Facebook connections I came across pictures at Maury’s site taken by her step-mother. So we got pictures of all that family. It is one thing to think about it, but another to see how comfortable that whole family unit is with one another.

I don’t think too much special of their place its pretty average, but people seemed to enjoy themselves. Everyone looked happy. When I get in my more Christmassy cheerful self, I’m actually glad. I wouldn’t have ever wanted the boys to feel they didn’t have a father they could appreciate.

I just have to move this situation somehow away from when people come over they just watch the TV. Maybe we should try to disallow it? No, I don’t think that would work either, but it’s worth a mental note. I’d like there to be more free thought.

I don’t think that we all have common things of interest. We all have the girls, Maury and Joe have their special bond and Joe loves Cari and Cari gets along with Maury and Maury and Rich talk about fishing, but otherwise I think the relationships are a bit undeveloped. The sore spot being I don’t think much that my kids like talking to me – though on occasion I can get to a point where they will let me listen to them talk of themselves.

I’m thinking un-prosperously though in saying I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Its part of the problem with my memory … I don’t really have the ability to talk very intelligently, unless the other person is doing it first. It makes me a better listener and commenter than hostess of my own conversations.

Oh oh … we’re only partway here. It’s now exactly 10 am. Just happened to look down about the right time. Rich is now wrapping something and I should maybe wait a few minutes and then see how late Maury is going to be. It’s never too sure when you are getting 2 girls ready, though he’s generally prompt. Relax Gramma chill, right?

WooHOO! Update. Maury is going to be here in about 15 minutes. I also got to talk to Cari for a second to confirm tomorrow’s plans to meet at Hi-view at 9 am. She and Joe have classes at 11 am, and we’ll have to be getting ready to do … ok, we’ve been over this like a million-jillion times, right? Ok, girls breathe! Fresh coffee … that will help.

Hmm, I think we’ve been at this worrying for some time it’s about 12 pages of typing? Yeeks. I’d stop, but then my thoughts would race entirely. Now at least they have to slow down to typing speed. Cari asked me about my favorite color. I told her moss green or about that same depth a dark red. I wasn’t sure until we asked ourselves. Maybe she’s thinking about matting on some pictures! I’m hoping that we get some. I saw that Joe’s grandma got pictures of them yesterday. Thank goodness for technology. I have to admit I’ve appreciated Jacki not overly privatizing her Facebook. Not enough to spy, but to be caught-up in my boys lives a LITTLE!

WooHOO! They are HERE!

posted by Ann Marie @ 12/26/2009 10:28:00 AM Comments: 0