Ayn's Multiple World

Huh! An Entry? This goes down as a Tuesday parcel

Good morning this is me. I’m not sure who our audience is in writing, but we have in the back of our mind we’re making a journal entry. I don’t think that the last one we finished made it to our online log, but we’re not going to worry about it too much. I think we were talking something about the quilting weekend, meeting Jon – Rich’s son, and the upcoming date to meet Jill who has now been over to our place.

There are probably a few other big changes. One of them is that Rich is now taking care of our money situation. We had gone nearly a year without paying bills properly and things had gotten pretty out of control.

Along with the items around the sewing weekend, we also should say that we’ve been working on quilts in and around there at least since about July. It started with getting one from Connie Sue, and then we helped her cut them out and iron them – we cut out 10-12 quilts and then we started late in October the actual sewing of them.

We had taken a class with her. She was in there just because I was really. It was a class of just the two of us so we both got plenty of attention.

I made a quilt for Sister Theresa – that’s still waiting the final last touches of quilting it on top. I still haven’t done the 3 quilts I have for myself to be placed in the office, but soon? A couple of other projects got in between. The predominant one is that we’re making fish quilts for Rich and his best friend Bob.

The top parts are about 2/3rds done – so we’re making progress.

CS is doing the majority of a quilt for the work fundraiser. The blocks are put together and she’s just got the pieces to sew together and then quilt. It’s been stretched out a while.

And, then last we’ve got a quilt in the works for Thom. We have designed the front of it, but are making changes in that we’re using a computer program from CS that does designs for quilts. You can take some from readymade designs, but a lot of it is just imagining on your own with loose lines and curves and testing of fabrics and colors. I like the one that we’ve got going. It is based on getting some material from Connie Sue that has large and small Marine emblems.

Hmm, can you see here we are pretty much concentrating on the quilting? I also have a quilt in the works where we make a log cabin duplicate for Joe and Cari for their wedding in July. Wow! Still lots to do!

I’ve had a couple days slow-down in that we’ve been coming home and watching more Christmas specials than actual quilt work and it’s a toss-up to see if we sleep-in or quilt in the morning. This morning we got a few pieces done on the quilt PLUS some extra sleep. It makes me feel better to have worked on it somehow. They say basically if you are a seamstress that you should sew for at least an hour a day. I don’t know exactly where those rules come from, but we’re going with them 

We’ve had quite a few trips up to WI to see my sister and her family. That’s been a very good thing for me. It kind of like is having a cabin up north – though West Bend isn’t really like being in the wilderness. It has all the conveniences of a modern moderate-sized suburb. Basically, there’s a little escapism involved, plus we’re building a family relationship with my sister. I’m pretty happy about that though there are little psychological issues we’re addressing because of it with Dr. Marvin. That would be to be expected.

Last night I had said something about what Dr. Marvin had said to CS on the car ride home from work and I’m afraid that I got her a little too defensive. I didn’t mean to do that, just wanted to open the subject up for conversation. Basically, we both have to work on some familiar issues so that we don’t hurt each other. It comes from being from an abusive family.

The statement had something to do with reality. Dr. Marvin had said that CS has trouble balancing her internal reality with that on the outside. Pretty much I take it to mean that there are things that take priority on the inside like her day to day existence without people like regular self-care, sewing, household, etc. and then there are the things going on in relationship of her to others and just plain others in general. I think she’s seeing things from her internal point of view and has to work on the external connections.

I think even little things like doing things for people who don’t want those things done, count in this bracket. Basically, if I’m saying no don’t do this, and she continues to do it, she is working more on her needs to be doing things for others, more than the others concern. There’s a lot more behind it than this, but that will come up in time. I don’t want to get over involved in this conversation at the time.

Somehow it was in and around conversation on her assistance of Mark and in conversation of her frustration … basically, she’s doing work for him now or at least with him at the church, but he’s not always as appreciative as she would like him to be, so then she gets angry at him and more demanding that he be specific in “her chores” which he isn’t.

I had told her last time I’d been in that conversation that I had backed his position more and had gotten hit because of it, so I was being very careful this time. We added toward the end that humor was important.

Basically, if it was Mark’s responsibility and she was helping, then she shouldn’t be expecting that he’s going to treat her with kid gloves just because she’s going out of her way, which she is. It’s new grounds that is occurring as her body becomes in better shape. I’m pretty sure that Mark is absent-minded as a manager as he is generally – and because the authority has been role-reversed, it is probably hard for the both of them.

But, again enough of that, basically, CS realized that she was just complaining, but that wasn’t a bad thing. Coming from our position, I know that it is important to listen to her, but I’m thinking she wants to advance the conversation too. She doesn’t get a chance often to talk to others about what is going on in her mind and I think that’s where the problem comes in. As well, I think there are boundary issues in the family – hers and most likely ours. We work through our problems with Dr. Marvin, but they have things going on that don’t include me. Mark has a private therapist, and I think CS is seeing that as a family situation. But, then that is the boundary issue too. Basically, CS figures what is Mark’s and what is hers is hers. Like Mark can’t use her bathroom or bedroom. CS states that she can’t trust him because of the drugs, but she’s secured that in a vault so that shouldn’t be the problem. Basically, it’s her space so when he’s in there without her she feels put-out.

Ok, we’re becoming a little distracted here. Just all in all there seems to be a lot more to consider in having a family now that includes my WI relations.

I have to be careful to watch our own boundaries, because we tend to want and fix things. It’s ok as long as she’s asking to help her, but it should be helping her come to her own conclusions – maybe be more conscious of them, but I can’t expect her to change to accommodate me.

One situation too that happened last night on the way home was that she’d brought up her anger with the dog. But, then we pretty much said that it wasn’t trained well.

She again became defensive and we stated more simply that we would consider the dog better trained if you could tell it to sit, and he would stay sat until you were ready to release him.

We talked about her being able to show the dog she was angry, but that was only after the dog had violated her physical space. We talked about training him starting with a schedule if only 10 minutes – pretty much today, the day after when the dog isn’t being triggered. We tried to help her settle out that it wasn’t a good training situation if she was angry with the dog and trying to get him to change. Plus there was a part of her needing to guide him physically, so he was very sure of what she was trying to tell him. Like it is very different saying I want you to sit, from I don’t want to be jumped on.

I don’t think I’m an expert at training animals though I put a lot of time and consideration into the training of our family pet. Just mostly on the basic things like sitting and staying and speaking and shaking and things like that. We apparently had both listened to the dog whisperer too so that came out in the end.

I told her I didn’t think she was a pack leader. She considered herself one, but there wasn’t a chance to discuss it. We’ll have to go through that again later. I have to remember to talk more with her on a consistent time schedule so she and I have a chance to work through our concerns.

The part of the dog conversation was that I seem to get pummeled by the two dogs every time I’m up there and have something to eat, especially on the couch. Ok, ok … maybe then I have to start getting up to consider my own predicament with the dog so that I can settle down to eat in peace. If she doesn’t mind … maybe that’s just the thing. Just need planning and some consistency with the parts – something we’re not real good at, but can try. Then it be monkey see, monkey do, right? Maybe even to the point of bringing the dogs outside when it is time to eat. It’s a thought!

Ok, it’s about 10 am now. I really have to get to work on CARF, but I needed some time to be more fluid. Oh Lordy, I’m not ready for that all. Maybe a few more minutes? Let’s say another half an hour and see where we are by then.

Sister was already in and we had a little meeting concerning the CARF Intent to Survey. I’ve got now the final check of it to be going in. Today’s task is to get the documentation taken care of. I have an example of the book that went in the year before that I will imitate and then I have to make 4 copies. One to stay and three to go in. I think I have a month to do all that, but if I got everything in by the 31rst, we are then put into a drawing to win $1000. That be nice. Just have to get a grip on the Performance Analysis report. I’m not as close to that now as I would like to be.

Hmm, I wonder. I have the Performance Analysis report from last year. I wonder if I should do the same over or make changes? Hmm, seems to be an option I hadn’t been considering.

Ok, where were we. Just finished lunch with Rich and caught up with a few FB items. We had to take a break to do a little emergency shopping. We had figured out after passing his desk that he was online shopping. That had started in reality the night before with his kids. There is an annual thing that happens in that Rich makes sure everyone is in new underwear. It’s sorta like a fatherly ritual that is taken in full consideration and appreciation by all. I’m sure you remember me writing about it last year and the last.

The items we came down with were three … the first is a Bluetooth headphone, the second is a Logitech illuminating keyboard, and the third is a Logitech wireless mouse. Pretty cool, hmm? I think they are about a total of $232. We’re hoping we just caught Rich’s range. All the items are at Best Buy and we’re hoping he does them all online so he is not tempted to get something different because one or another is backordered. I think they are still good – so we’re going to hope for the best. We sent Rich a direct link to each through an email. He’s just stubbornly elfish enough not to confirm or deny that he’s ordered them. Yeeks!

Two of the items were rated 5 on a 5 point scale with 8 or 9 people considering the items value, and the third item the keyboard – there was a 4.8 consensus, which is pretty good, but the fact that it’s the average of 41 people … that makes it a stupendous buy! Ok, we can be patient?

Right now our keyboard at home is broken – several keys no longer work, and we lost the headphones we had. The new keyboard is supposed to have excellent touch and it lights up to 3 different shades – just the keyboard regular keys, but that’s pretty nifty. It’s a plain design, but considered a designers keyboard. It’s heavy enough to sit still. It’s not wireless, but that’s probably the trade-off for having lights. It’s been my experience that I never take the keyboards too far from the screens. The headphones are just pretty cool because they are so useable for phone and iPod … I’m like I really can’t live without this stuff – AND it’s REALLY a must when you consider the gym or traveling. I’m really frustrated when I don’t have the usage of the iPod.

The nifty thing about the mouse is that it’s very good quality and is supposed to be really good scrolling, small enough for my hands, but the kicker is that it works on any surface, so at home where the keyboard tray isn’t that big – I will be able to use the mouse without a pad either on that level or the top desk level. I’m really looking forward to going pad-less and THIS item is wireless which is critical in a mouse – good optics reading too!

Poor Rich … I hear him on the phone with the computer ordering people from Hanes underwear. I wish I could help him, but he’s way past that. He’s doing this all HIS way.

Ok, now we’re toward the last 20 minutes of the day. We got lost a little reading emails and online news, but am back again. We did some work in-between too. We sent in the CARF Intent to Survey form – 36 pages Yeeks! And, we lined up some documentation for the 4 sets of info that should accompany the Intent though this time by slow mail. The report was tech.

We’ve made some ground today, though its not entirely sufficient. But, we’re still doing something with the day, so we’re going to take that much credit.

posted by Ann Marie @ 12/16/2009 09:18:00 AM Comments: 0