As much of Wednesday as we can stand
Good morning … it’s now me again. Wow – two days in a row … that’s something.Maybe we could make this a real thing again. I have been worrying about us blaming the situation of Jillian reading the blog as an excuse to not be writing. But, I think it is more something different.
It should be ok for anyone to read the blog without it affecting me too much. I want to be concerned with the others’ thoughts and feelings, but I need to work on my own self-esteem in that I am STILL ok, even if someone has other opinions of my writing processes.
I have probably more issues with it than that, but we’re moving on … well, one more issue is that we’ve been using time in other directions such as the quilting and then when that became to much – like now we’re finding ourselves also sleeping too much. How Much? Last night we got home about 5-5:30 pm, we ate, and then we fell asleep … a couple of washroom breaks, but basically we slept until 6 am this morning. AND, we didn’t feel revived.
Maybe part of this is the stress that we are causing ourselves with the avoidance of the CARF work. I will be so grateful when the survey is over, even if it means that I’m fired. I hope I’m not working toward that end, but pretty much … just tired of it. This has nothing really to do with being a QMRP. Just a big project that I got stuck with – I used to care more for it, but that got mixed with too much responsibility and we choked.
That’s where we are now … just trying to salvage it. I have to be more concerned with where our thoughts are going. I’m hoping the writing will help us like it has in the past … Maybe the process of writing things down will keep us from losing those work thoughts completely, because after just so much roaming around, we naturally fall back into … oh yes, and then there’s that! Sheesh. Ok, now our song and dance part … we did want to put something down with a place we’d been before we’d gone home. We had about 20 minutes left and ended up staying an extra half hour. We were back to working on the bedroom furniture. This is where we’re at.
Hmm, I’m not sure if we showed you all these pictures before. We were doing it on FB for sure. Basically, we want 2 headboards, 2 chest of drawers, 2 wall mounted TV cabinets, 1 dresser, 2 nightstands, and 1 extra mirror. We’d throw in an extra microwave – small to make an even $2400 for the total necessary between the two bedrooms. There is one more set of extras in that both rooms should get a new TV that hangs on the wall … I’m thinking that’s going to be another $1000-1200.
*Sigh* But, in general – other than a few things in the bathroom, we’d be done decorating – with the furniture part.
This is the stuff that matches our other furniture in the living room. I’m real satisfied with it … I wish the covering over the furniture – would be a little more solid, but for the most part – we’re only getting what we pay for.
Functionality-wise we’re getting quite a bit. I think things average out at about $170 a piece. Ok, let’s do another *sigh*.
Maybe the last time we were here we were thinking about this kind of stuff. I think it was about October. Now it seems like we’ve been living at this new standard for ever.
Wow! Just checked the blog and this furniture business IS where we left off. I can’t imagine all that’s happened from one time to another. I do know that it took Rich and Bob a bit of time to put things together. And, it took longer to get my computer back together – Joe and Maury helped there. When the keyboard was put away – a couple of keys broke making it unusable. So in great extent I haven’t finished there yet.
You’ve probably heard then by now we’re planning on putting the tax money toward the bedroom furniture. EVEN if it means not signing the check over to Rich. Hehehe … well things aren’t QUITE that bad, but pretty much. We volunteerily begged Rich to take over the money and he’s done very well with it for the last 1 -1 ½ months.
We had a big discussion though about it I think on Sunday. He had instituted things that he hadn’t told me about, or at least me as a part. He was putting money in an envelope and then he was taking money out of that as I asked for gas or Dr. Marvin parking or even for a new pair of tennis shoes, an oil change, and medicine. The amount in the envelope was $600, and that seems like a real good idea to get that much, but when you take out some of the above AND fritters in the am, then it didn’t seem like enough because only if there was enough from all the above, well, that balance was considered my free money … AND, you just gotta know that this month is Christmas.
I have what I consider Rich’s gift in that we’ve paid for about $400 or more for the quilts for him and Bob. But, there was only $430 left to get ALL my shopping done AND pay for gas and whatever for the balance of the month – thinking here the month is just half over.
It took a lot of discussion, but as to financial status, I think mostly I was schooled. In the end I pulled out $350 so that each of the boys got $100 and Cari – my new DIL-to-be got $50, and we’re really being frustrated, because Alex, CS, Mark, and Nathan aren’t being considered as to buying them something new. Just getting over the Alex part was major and we’re still not sure what we’re doing there.
The granddaughters were covered in that I’d used the quilt money, plus more to explain to be getting them a new sewing machine that will stay at our house. IT’s a BEAUTY!!! That gift was over-budgeted and goes mostly to Ame – CS gave us another battery operated machine that will go to Isa. And, we should be putting together a package of stuff for them to be sewing.
There was $80 left for then personal expenses for this month and $34 of it went today for a full tank of gas and some window washer stuff. That means we’re down to $46. This is a terrible predicament AND it doesn’t cover that I owe my sister money. She wouldn’t so directly say so, but I know so. I don’t know how much I owe her because a lot of times she says that she will just take care of stuff. It’s going to help that I won’t have work for the rest of the month after a week goes by – so we should make it AND Rich says he’ll pay for the trip up to see my sister right after Christmas.
Ok, we did this … we wrote a letter to my sister that pretty much says stuff straight out. We’ll print it here for the sake of eternity. We also sent Rich a copy so that he knows what we have and have not done or completed through our thought processes. I think it makes more sense and leaves me feeling more in tune with the reality of money. I can’t blame my sister for not being in reality when I’m so much not better than that myself. *Sigh*
Ann Ludford Garvey December 16 at 10:51am
Good morning Connie Sue. I am back to writing and we are trying to figure out how much we owe you. I won't be able to start paying back until later and I may ask that you allow me to get the bedroom furniture first if it isn't too much. I figure for both rooms it will cost $2400 for 14 pieces. I'm hoping for about $2000 from taxes.
Then it will be a matter of will Rich cover the balance, or am I going to have to piece it out by check to check.
I figure once I get the new furniture I will be that much closer to being able to invite you down to stay. I think we told you already that Maury plans to have moved to the new place by April 1. If Rich isn't so happy about paying extra we might just have to pay for the master bedroom and save up for the guest room so that it will coincide more with Maury leaving. I'd like to give him the new stuff to use, but for now he's got things pretty packed in there. He's got a 46" TV on the old dresser, the small fridge and two very large speakers on a 100" wall. YEEKS! I figure the guest bedroom will be about 1/3 of the cost between the two rooms.
We got $100 from Sister for Christmas, and $200 from Mom, but Rich says that has to go toward the bills because apparently I'm real close to being sued by dell for a printer I'd stopped paying for when they didn't fix it. With all the fees it climbed to a $700 bill for a $400 machine - AND i'd been making payments on it. Rich settled or is settling it in that their attorney's brought it down to $500 if I paid over the next 3 months. So Rich says I have to use the gift money for that - plus other bills such as school, hospitals-doctors, rent, etc. About February I should have more money to send in your direction. Maybe before ... Just depends I haven't looked at the account to see what needs to still be paid ... too afraid.
Rich and I argued over the weekend, but it seems that he's giving me $600 for the month cash, but that goes also to medicine, gas, parking fees, and other loose stuff like oil changes and new tennis shoes and for Christmas shopping and trips up to WI including my fabric. By the time he told me this new system I found the envelope and it had $430 in it. I pulled out $100 for each of the three boys for presents, the granddaughters are taken care of, and there's $50 for Cari ... soon-to-be DIL. There was then $80 for the month and $33 of that went to fill my gas tank and get windchill wiper fluid.
Rich says he will pay for gas when we come up after Christmas. I feel a little silly telling you all this, but I need you to understand the lack of money right now, but that we are still very responsible. I appreciate you paying for things, but it should be that I be stopping an uncontrolled tab that I HAVE to pay back. There's things like fabric and supplies, the class, the retreat, and the sewing machine.
There's probably more, but this is what we're remembering straight-up. Please come up with a balance for me. My guess is at minimum $7-800, but if it's more then I gotta know that too so Rich can help me budget paying you back without waiting so long. I'm hoping he will take it out of the regular account as a few back bills should be paid by January. I like better that we only get the very necessary stuff like extra thread when we have to, but that we start to use up some of the goods you've already bought and stored up for new quilts the two of us will be working on.
I don't want to be adding to what's become to open of a tab. I will continue as part of the agreement give you the balance of the $50 I bring up after paying the gas and what doesn't get used for eating. Here its been helpful to have a few meals from home. At least that way I can feel I'm working on paying you.
I think that Rich is trying to be fair, but he's also taken on responsibility to make sure my bills get paid by my money. I was pouting for a while - I took it to the level of well if I'm paying for half rent, and half cable, and have electric, plus everything else like car and school loans, and hospital debt and what not ... then what are you paying for as the male part of us being boy and girl friend. In my way of thinking ... I'd never asked for jewels or furs - so then it didn't seem fair. I'm afraid I hurt him a little and that makes me feel terrible. It's fit and parcel though for having parts - in and out of reality. What we came up with was that Rich pays for the food, dates including eating out, and for our joined vacations - PLUS the little gifts that come in time. I guess one of the problems was that he'd put in about $900 so that I wouldn't be in the red - I kept getting $35 service charges for over-spending, but I guess we spent that though I don't remember on what - except maybe some on sewing. Just not sure what we spend money on. He's going through our account and lessening some of the charges, but I guess we have to pay him the $900 back too. I'm paying for his gym $25 a month, so he says that although I started doing that as a gift added to my membership cost - that it would go toward the $900, so that in a couple of years (36 months :() I will have paid him back.
Sometimes it doesn't seem fair, but then it does. I have to be responsible whether we spend like a multiple or not. I know that Rich is very steady and dependable and will help me get out of this financial mess I've been trying to deny all year. I don't know how this fits or does not fit into your own financial designs, but believe me we do take this all seriously and I CAN be responsible ... just sometimes we have to drag it out of us ... Ok ... maybe not that bad. It only hurts a little at the beginning. SO ... let's come up with a total, hmm? I want to start paying back.
Thanks for everything,
Ann Marie
Pshwoo. Ok, need to send out one more letter.
Dear Rich,
I talked to a banker this morning from the Brookfield bank. I asked them what was necessary to get you as a registered person with my account. They said that we will need to come in and sign a signature slip in front of an officer of the bank. I think this is an excellent idea. She said also that they could then get started on getting you a debit card with your name on it so that if you needed to pay something for me by credit card or computer you would be able to do that. That would also give me a secure feeling if anything were to happen to me and you might have to handle things. I wish I could give you an account to handle with more money in it, but I guess I'm not that type yet. I really do appreciate your help in me becoming more financially responsible. The person I talked to said that the bank would be looking for us to then coming in. I think this is the right thing to do - just looking for the wrinkles. LOVE YOU! So financially responsible and damn sexy too!
Wow!
Love
Us
Ok, that’s done … and now sister has been back. We discussed CARF which didn’t need too much discussing and then we talked about things like insurance and spring fling and the choir and such. Then it was announced that a State person was here to see one of my clients. That seems pretty normal, we knew he needed to be here - just hope he had confirmed before coming that one of our clients was going to be here.
We knew he was out on Monday and Tuesday for medical, and Holly then did confirm he was here so all is good with that. Pswhoo
I think that Rich must be here too? No, maybe not I guess that was the heating guy that had come through. He’s a busy dude about this time of the year. Figures. I think it was about 15 degrees without the wind-chill this morning.
I’m back again. I think I’m a crabby part though. Rich was just here and really messed up our head. It’s hard to tell which direction is up and which direction is down. Our forehead is a series of crinkles. I know we were here … and then I remember sister coming in – and leaving that situation feeling pretty good, and then Rich came in and said something about if I wanted a half sandwich. We took that, and then he was saying stuff that I don’t remember, and then there was a phone call and then we were getting really cloudy and confused and our brain hurted.
I went back to my office and then he came in and sat down and then was like playing something bad in our brain … and he was laughing I think at us and then he said something about having to go and I knew I felt grateful and then happy to turn to what I know in that we got something going on here with the writing.
He was talking something about money. I think the point he lost us was when he laughed and said I think I’m going to turn over your sister’s accounts to you.
Somewhere in there we fired him. I don’t think seriously fired him. But, that’s as much as I can handle without going loopy. I need something to block this terrible overshadowing feeling that I’m now suffering. It’s sort of like a dead muskrat left to bake on a hot rock in the sun. Yeah like that.
Ok, maybe it’s too late and we’re already loopy. Damn … now I got to find our way back to regular. I know that’s like saying I could imagine what is “normal.” It’s just not going to happen. I do know that I have to relieve the pressure I’m feeling, because it is just deafening in the crunching of my brain muscles.
posted by Ann Marie @ 12/16/2009 12:33:00 PM
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