My new home away from home. Mom, Multiple, Counselor-sorta, Psych Grad Student, Friend, and AOL Refugee.
"I am becoming my self when I am patient and encouraging, which allows me to find the peace I need to give joyfully to the people and projects I love" (Aynetal, 2006)
Good morning. This is me. No word on yet who me really is, but I’m here nonetheless. We were at Dr. Marvin’s place last night and the question came up more or less. Basically, when we’d gotten past the first half of the session then we asked for the hard work and in so doing asked to work on multiple business and then in return of that asked how do we get to know the parts.
I guess that must have made of nervous though because Dr. Marvin noticed that we were at the edge of the couch and we were rocking. He said that was a normal behavior for when this question or types like it had come up in the past. It was like … umm, ok. We’ll have to leave a marker on that point.
Besides the nervousness though we progressed the best we could. But, in so doing there were at least 4 parts who came out … the one that was originally there most likely Jamie, and then I was there – Corey, and then the two Casies were out … Casey and KC. I think there was a little disappointment. Dr. Marvin said something about hmm, don’t remember, but the disappointment part was that after Casies were there then the conversation just stayed on their interests and didn’t progress before the time was out.
But, for the part that they really must have needed some time … that had to be alright too. Dr. Marvin noticed that certain parts come out after certain parts. I don’t know why I would come in after Jamie, but it’s often that the Casies come out in that general order, so maybe I’m a part of something I’ve never really put together before. We’ll have to watch for that.
The Casies interest turned to a discussion about too many rules and then when asked what kind of rules, they immediately went to a discussion of somebody who may or may not be Rich saying something about the puddings. Their concern was that he had noticed how quickly they’d been going and then Casies interpretation of that was that they wouldn’t get to eat as many as they have been.
Dr. Marvin got around to asking how many did Rich think was too many. They pieced together that someone may be having one in the morning, two during the day at work, and one more sometimes in the evening … so that would be 4. Dr. Marvin didn’t appear overly sympathetic … we think he sided with Rich on that one. I just agonize over things when he does that.
Someone came home and complained to Rich that he had come up in session again and that the pudding situation had been brought up. He said something about not telling us what was too much, but then I would suppose in the systems feelings of guilt we just assumed if he was paying attention to noticing the puddings were disappearing too fast that that was going to be his next probable move. We also told him that we were disgruntled at Dr. Marvin always taking Rich’s side. I suppose that isn’t always true, but it’s true enough to mark a similarity.
Casies too brought out the similarity in noticing that they always had food conversations with Dr. Marvin like on fudgsicles or candy bars and such. They were pretty cranky to want to figure out that much farther with Dr. Marvin. HMPF!
That was pretty much the end of the session, but there were things that had come up prior. I thought it was interesting that we decided to make changes in the conversation in that different parts came out when asked about figuring out the multiplicity. I suppose one reason is that there is a general curiosity in that part of us, because we spend so little time trying to figure that out.
I’m pretty sure we’ve discussed in the past about not calling us out by name or being really too much aware of the switches. Last night when called on the carpet about it … it was hard not to notice when things had shifted over. It’s like we want to know about it, but then we don’t. So Dr. Marvin progressed the conversation and talked more on us or multiples in general as carrying secrets amongst the parts. We didn’t like the sound of where THAT one was going though, mostly because if it were true, then I’d have to worry … do I have secrets too that I might not want exposed.
In the switching of parts … you only sometimes are aware to one degree or another what’s on the mind of the part before or after you. I knew that Jamie was interested in figuring parts out, and I knew that I had made a noticeable entrance, but I didn’t hear me thinking differently than following along with where Jamie had been. My interest in the case was a little off that mark, and then the Casies seemed to be a lot off the mark. I didn’t like the idea of secrets … again mostly because then I’d have to worry about stuff that hasn’t been my business up to now.
I guess the Casies way of thinking was that this part on the pudding was something they’d held back on and now we’re going to expose it’s nasty truths.
Hmm, and now almost on cue … we stopped to blow our nose in the bathroom and then found ourselves reaching for another pudding … take THAT Dr. Marvin. Whooops …
who’s up? Hehehe.
Ok, that’s enough of that … yes ma’am…
Anyway … while we are remembering some of the session, I wanted to say that Kelsie was the first one to have come in … she was bent on figuring out some stuff with the iPod. At work after the work with the staff training group we’d fallen back to figuring out what was going on in the Senate with Blagojevich. We’d paid some attention to him earlier and how he’d been in the last of four days fighting for his career. Without going into that too much – except to say that we’d watched a great portion of a bunch of Senators giving 5 minutes speeches on their thoughts of his impeachment … we listened after the session and the new Governor Pat Quinn was sworn in and giving a short presentation.
That meant that during the hour they had finished the 5 minute speeches and had taken a unanimous vote to get rid of him … AND they made sure to vote that he would never be able to hold an elected office in the State of Illinois. I thought that was good thinking on their part. It will be decided after his federal hearing whether or not he’s going to be able to keep a pension that’s almost $200,000 a year … Wow that be a handy thing to block. WooHOO! Good luck finding a new house former Governor Blagojevich!
We had covered our knowledge resources at work in that we knew the tribunal would be recorded as taking place at CNN. But, then we had to worry about leaving the office for Dr. Marvin’s. So we found the Chicago Public radio station and got their call numbers which we didn’t know so we could be listening to the situation on the way to Dr. Marvin’s. But, then we had to get out of the car there … and we wanted to be still listening to it. We were trying to then figure out if we could somehow get it on the iPod. The iPod is an amazing instrument and we find almost anything we think of … can be done on it.
First thing we thought of would be could we get on-line with it … basically, did UIC have WI-FI we could tap into. We got stuck with that for a few moments, and then carried that problem into Dr. Marvin’s office though it had made us 5 minutes late.
We did find that there was a guest pass and all you had to do was call a certain number and the pass would last for like 24 hours. We thought by the time we got the numbers/letters that we would get in, but we must have heard the case sensitive code incorrectly so when we got in to Dr. Marvin’s it was still heavily on our minds.
We asked him then if he would call the number and confirm if we had the right key and passwords. I’m not sure where we went wrong, but the basic thing was that we got in! WooHOO!!! Then we wouldn’t let him tell us what the radio numbers were again because we were trying to be self-sufficient. We couldn’t use the part of the radio stations system of “playing now” the station, but then Dr. Marvin remembered that he’d been told of an application to get public news stations. So we went off to find that. We figured it out before Dr. Marvin did … WooHOO!!!
He had gotten out his iPod too and I looked up at one point and said out loud how cool was that that both us AND our Dr. Marvin was iPodding together! Hehehe. He’s so cool! He seems to have the same idyllic interest in the gizmo as us. It shouldn’t be a surprise that he’d have something because the something was just so darn cool. I’m guessing though he had his before us. We’ll have to ask.
To have found that application was really cool. Just think anytime we’re near a WI-FI … we could be listening to the radio – especially our up-to-date news service. I know just as easy to turn on a computer or the car radio, but how cool … not … would that be. Eh, too simple! It reminds me though that we should be charging her up.
It’s already about 4:45 am. We’ve been up for 45 minutes.
I think that Dr. Marvin listens to NPR on his way home from work. We should confirm that so we can be cool like our Dr., but we’re listening to it now and it seems to have commercial type things. I think we have less control when we listen to the radio than if we do the podcasts, but it will be interesting to get another view on the news. I just want to make sure we don’t become too jaded with news only for CNN. I have really been enjoying Rachel Maddoux (not sure on the spelling of her last number). I think she’s on hmm, forgot. Maybe the Internet MSNBC. Aha! Found it … her name is Rachel Maddow. I was close!
Ahh just skimmed through her website … It wasn’t overly ambitious, but it was comforting to know where she lives. Hmm, that’s news … did you know that Dilbert got the boot? He didn’t make the cut through the recession. I think that is the most hilarious thing I ever heard. Dilbert is know as a comic strip for being work orientated. It adds soooo much interest to his character to know he goes through more than the problem of cubic office space.
We’d gone over to check over Marketplace.org. The guy that was hosting the show announced that it was his last day because he was going over to work on the companies blog and podcast … that’s an interesting thing. Maybe he is going to become someone interesting to listen to. He said that he’d been in his position not seeing the light of day for 3 ½ years. Good for him!
Hmm, ok been off over there for a bit. You know what it’s like when we get over to the iTunes downloads. Do you know that Dilbert has his own podcast? WooHOO!!!
Just remembering something that Dr. Marvin said … he said something about the way we used to video tape things. I wonder what that was all about. It was something about us noticing the different multiple parts and conversations.
Hmm, we’re going through electrical hell again … I think our computer though has picked up our video devise … I hadn’t realized it was unplugged. We’ll have to get it wired better later if it works.
Hmm, it worked fine to be doing the video … now we’re checking out to see if blogger can handle it. They grayed out my screen an it says that it’s processing the video and that we can save it and return to publish when it’s complte. It seems to be taking quite a while and it’s only a couple of seconds on the video. We still might have to go through Hipcast … I think that’s how we really did it before. I might want to check that out too.
AHA! The first test bringing it directly up through Blogger worked, but then the Hipcast method might work faster or for longer videos. I know it can do 2 hours and some. Right now it says its read to transcode.
AHA! They BOTH WORK!!! I must be pretty smart! The next test will be to see how long the videos take to load at a longer length … I know that Hipcast can … oh I just said that. Sorry … The Hipcast is being paid for anyway, so it would be nice to make better use of it, but then now side to side … the quality of audio seems the same for both, but the blogger direct is a bigger video screen that’s kinda cool.
*Giggling* we’ve got the video camera on us now we talk out loud to ourselves. I don’t think this will last long because now Rich is up and we don’t want to disturb his world. Chances are he doesn’t want a camera with him first thing in the morning. I don’t know what’s wrong with that guy!
I think that’s going to be about enough … I’d like to try more later, but actually more when Rich isn’t up and around. We had gone to his bedroom and shut the door so we wouldn’t disturb him, but I think the kitty felt shut in and woke him up by scratching at the door. Ok, that’s
We’re going to record another video I hope you don’t have to readjust your volume I’m speaking lower so as not to disturb the other household beasts. No, not my Sweetie! Rich is already up and is using the washroom. I can be pretty sure that he’s not going to want me to be videoing him first thing of the day … whoops quiet!
Rich is in the shower we’re going to do this at the same time we’re typing … I’m sorry to keep the volume down to a whisper, but we really don’t want to upset Rich.
He’s already asked why we were running the video if we’re typing already, but we didn’t have a really good reason for him yet, and so then he left with a scowl and a warning that we had used up a lot of memory before. I don’t remember that part, but I don’t remember that as not happening.
I’m just beginning to remember that there was a little more pressure to be doing what we do with the camera moving because we are more conscious of what’s happening. Mostly were into your space just as much as we are into our space … and since it’s happening at the same time … It’s a little overwhelming.
Whoo … just saw a naked guy walk past … so obviously that was my naked guy face … did it look surprising. Ok, ok … we’re being a little goofy this morning. Umm, we are supposed to be taking our shower because its now 6 am, but since sir sweetie wanted to jump in fast we decided to let him go. He says he has an 8 am meeting.
Oh, that happened yesterday at Dr. Marvin’s too. We told him about Rich’s big surprise for the day … He had some very interesting gossip.
Do you remember me talking about Al? He’s the guy that’s always bothering Rich … He’s his lead production coordinator, which is the job I used to do for him. Well, he told me the first part was that Al was FINALLY going to retire … well you can imagine that about amazed me to pieces hurrah hurrah … because I’ve pretty much disliked him all along. Then Rich had told me he was going to see if he could get Sean in the position. I’m not sure, but don’t think that went particularly well with the main office, but we’re still hoping for the best for Sean … cuz we love Sean to pieces!
BUT THEN!!! This is where the gossiping gets good. It turns out that Al got married … the only thing we’d thought in that direction was “poor girl.” But, then Rich said do you know WHO he married? Well that’s a clue that I’m going to know the person, but would have never guessed. I wouldn’t have if he didn’t tell me … not in a million kajillion years.
It turns out he’s married Lucille. That was such a shock on our system we said something like … well how the hell did THAT happen!?? I think Rich must have thought the same kind of thing. But, it was from Sean and Sean and Lucille have been friends for all these years. Apparently, it had happened not too long ago and now Al was going to move to another company. Well sianara! (Sp?) I’m soooo pleased he is finally going, though I don’t know if Rich is going to get a replacement. Anyone’s better than Al! But, to see those two married? I thought that Lucille had a lot more class than that. They are both over 62 and I think that Lucille might be in her 70’s. I think she was pretty old. Sorry I hope Lucille you never heard me say that, but Al? Hmm, I think it would be an easier thought adjustment for them all to figure that Rich and me were together after all these years moreso than Al and Lucille. She’s been much higher rated at JVS and doing more important work. I think she does the billing. Just really disappointed with that. I know that Lucille liked me ok, but at the time I felt just like a little guy. She called me in once to figure out a computer problem. I couldn’t believe she’d think me able, but it might have just been her way to figure me out. Well, Lucille I hope to say … God Bless … and please do save your sanity!
Rich is out now so I’m going to take the shower. Catch up with you on the other side.
Ok, we’re back … that last clip didn’t seem to work so well … my program got frozen up.
Hmm, we are back … we listened to a few more moments of the movie before we set it up to be saved. Hopefully I can upload to the computer in the next 15 minutes before we have to go. It says about 3 minutes to where we are at now. We’ll see.
I tried doing this movie as a larger screen than the one before. I’m not sure if I did that right … but again … we shall see.
I think that’s something you could definitely say about us. We are curious. I’m not saying we’re ready or willing to try everything, but around technology … we’re probably at that upper 10% level for our age. Just simple stuff though … we are nowhere even IN the ballpark as to professional computer people … we’re just talking about casual moms ;)
I don’t know if there’s anything else important to say about Dr. Marvin’s last night other than what’s been said. He seemed to be in a good mood, but we caught him once drifting and that will probably come back again later when we’re explaining how perfect we expect him to be. Hmm, ok, that was a surprise? Hhehehe
Ok, now we’re doing the uploading part. I’m giving us a general timing … the video turned out to be about 11 minutes long and we are saving it with Blogger. REALLY you don’t have to watch the whole thing we are doing the videos at this immediate to sorta preserve something of how we are, but mostly so that we could watch ourselves and try to figure out how the switches are happening.
Going back to Dr. Marvin’s it was a little frustrating that we didn’t yet know after all this time very much about the parts. Wow … there’s a lot of noise … we’re listening to the typing on the movie and we’re listing to us typing now. It sounds like we’re in a newspaper office. WooHOO … someone is doing double time in productivity. Ok, so far upload 3 min. There’s no reason to think it won’t take it.
Hmm, seems like we’re avoiding going back to the other thoughts. Maybe with this little time left its best we let it go. As to yesterday otherwise - we got through a couple meetings and ended up spending some time trying to get a sign language version of “Our Father” for the Spring Fling … and you know … It’s actually out there. At least 3 sets of people have videotaped that particular song in sign language. Is that just not a little amazing? I think just about EVERY thing is On-line.
I think we’re going to be going in a few minutes late until the entry is ready to publish … but I better get dressed in the meantime … I’ll be right back.
Ok, it’s now 7:08 so it’s been processing for about 18 minutes. This is telling us something we should be paying attention too. Unless there is a whole lot of time we might have to go through Hipcast … though what I remembered of that it was a long upload too. I’ve decided that we’re going in of course to work, but we’re going to wait out this effort to publish … It’s that part of us that wants to make sure everything is complete before we feel comfortable moving on to our next step.
I want to say something here while the screen is up. Our cheeks and chiin seem to be looking on the fat side … we really need to be getting back to all that again … We’re going to need trying harder though. Maybe we should plan DEFINITELY to be getting back to the gym.
Sir Sweetie Pie just left a few moments ago. He’s got a full day ahead of him and he’s going to end it with a basketball game, so I don’t expect to see him for quite a bit of time. It’s up to us to make the best use of our time. Right?
We smooched him up for a few moments before he escaped out the door. I know that we’re not going to get far when he’s in a hurry, but it sure feels good to try and break into that space. WooHOO We’re here dear!
Woops … we got it ready to publish … better get going … our last thoughts? Thinking of Hill Street Blues … when the sergeant says be safe out there. Ok, that’s a deal!
Oh and the time .. it took about 25 minutes. Yeeks!
Good morning … this is me. We’re here and it’s another day … and well you know how the rest of that goes. Uh-huh. Ms. Meowy Cat is doing her thing, but I’m not sure why. We’ve done everything that we were supposed to do. I think we’re pussy-whipped. Hmpf!
We’ve only got a half an hour, but everything else is done. Rich got up a few moments early and is doing something with the computer in back of us. Neither one of us turned on the TV yet. That’s a little unusual, but we both stayed up watching too many West Wings yesterday so I think there is that much grogginess … I think too that he had trouble sleeping because of his legs being gitchy. Bad legs!
I just checked on him to be sure he was going to be ok. He said he was just going slow to wake up and that he was letting the computer takes its time. That was nice. He said that we should continue what we were doing.
We’re not doing too much yet though. Yesterday was a kind of blechy day for no good reason. I think I was doing what I was supposed to do, but we let go of things late in the day. We remember doing Group 1 in the morning and then again at noon. We’re doing the same kind of stuff with the CIRCLES stuff like matching gestures to colors and to numbers. We took a progressive step forward in that we wanted to have them match in front of them the numbers to the colors. I’m disappointed with how many of them can’t do the tasks. I might have to try and figure that out, but not now. I just want this stuff deeply etched into their brains.
We found out that Sr. is just going to have that other person come in on Thursday next week, so we are going to need getting some stuff done. I don’t know you’ve heard me like this before and it doesn’t seem we get very far. We’re like burned out by doing the morning group, the noon group, and then the staff training group.
Between transitions and preparation and such, we are losing over a half day – and there would be more if you consider our recovery space or the walk-ins. We’re trying to keep up but just barely swimming on top. Yesterday it was a big deal to just uncover our desk. We had to do some task that required writing and I couldn’t find a flat space to do it because there were layers and layers of stuff on our desk. I know that is when we get ourselves into trouble. Today is another back-at-it day. It will be followed by a Dr. Marvin appointment. Hmm, haven’t thought there what we’re going to be doing. It will be ok, right?
I think that’s as much of yesterday as I’m going to want to remember. There was lost time there and I’m not sure where all it had gone. Just need some time to withdraw from all of that.
Last night we ate and then fell asleep again waiting for Rich to come home. I think he was there about 7 pm. We watched a couple of West Wings, but then we got so engrossed in them that we didn’t nor did Rich want to turn it off. It was the one where Zoey gets kidnapped and President Bartlett lets go the office for a couple of days until he gets over things. Pswhoo … that was pretty terrifying … except by the time Zoey was recovered then we were pretty tired and not registering much.
Hmm, forgot. There was a little Tom Foolery happening too. That was a good thing!
Hmm, one other thing too … Bob kept going back and forth in calling Rich … Rich might have made at least one of the calls. I guess this is something, but Bob has got tickets to see something something Ms. Saigon. We are officially double dating. I just can’t get over it … I’m like so stunned and flabbergasted I don’t know how to register all that, except we’re pretty sure we don’t have much to wear.
I don’t know what the other woman is going to be like at all. I think it’s going to be pretty strange for all of us. I’m going to get over it, right?
I’ve wanted this for a long time, but now that it’s here … I’m pretty afraid. I don’t want them not to like me because this step is so monumental in what will happen next. I hope that she – the other woman isn’t too fancy. I think I can be about as dull as they get. I’m not a shiny penny. Hmpf!
I won’t have the good clothes, make-up, hair style, shoes, manners and so-forth that I think she’ll have. Then I might feel deficient. I don’t want that to happen, but I’m already there. I really really hope she’s a nice person. It’s going to be ok, right? Hmm, I asked that already. Hmpf! Yeeks … I’m in repeats!
Maybe it’s time we went and got dressed. We’ve got 10 minutes left, but we want to not rush things. And, I’d like an excuse to talk to Rich for a few moments. I am thinking he’s pretty tired and we’ll want to make sure he’s ok. Ya know? Shhh…
Good morning. This is me. We are just sitting down up front and trying to let go of some of the extra flourish our one talkative client brings in. Her brother has a cold so she wants everyone to pray for him. I don't think anyone likes a cold, but then again it's not a life or death crisis as she's weighting it toward. She doesn't realize nor have I ever been able to make her realize that what is going on in the minds of all the other people in the room might be just as important as her personal concerns. Even in talking to her and trying to convey to her ... look at so and so or look at so and so ... that it's still going through her approval process in does my experience get YOUR approval for breathing space. It's really not supposed to be one person's choice. I don't know how to get over this.
Now she's asking for prayers for one of the staff who is supposed to bring her to work, and when one of the other clients announced his birthday tomorrow she asked why are you saying that ... it just doesn't make any sense ... she's getting worse instead of better. We might have to confront her a bit today, but usually what we do there is to make certain true or false statements.
Hmm, ok that went ok ... we confronted her on a few things. She thought that she should talk to Cathy one of the other staff or sister because her watch didn't work. We backed her up in realizing this wasn't an issue that was of their concern. If her watch didn't work then she should talk it over with her mother. Then she made a comment about letting her brother come over. We discussed is he coming over because it's his mother's house, or was it because the client was letting him come over. She shifted around the conversation, but at least she slowed down for a few moments.
I was disappointed to learn yesterday that Sr. Florine had taken away the tape recorder to be used in another capacity. She should have at least let me know ... because it had been established as a goal. I had also brought in one of my earphones, and instead of giving me those back, she just placed them in a box under the small table. We learned that from one of the clients. It doesn't sound very responsible.
I know, I know ... who am I to talk about responsibility? I told one of the clients next to me after she asked if we were going to be busy today that we would be working with Group III for CIRCLES. So then the talkative client announced loudly that her Group 1 would have it the following day. Everything about me including not only the Group announcement, but that she should be in the middle of a conversation between me and another client. Now she is being quieter. I think it's important to confront her when necessary - falsehoods are made, but it's not worth stopping her every time she speaks.
The room is filling in nicely. There are 9 people here now. It is sometimes hard just watching them without interrupting. But, I feel it's important that they get their time to settle into the morning with as little disruption as possible. Hmm, so saying that ... is there anything I need to be doing or thinking? We're still in a monitoring mode. When the client with too much on her mind spoke the last time she was telling me that I had to get her a notebook because she'd run out of paper. We again reminded her that wasn't our business, but that her mother should get her some more paper she was at the drug or grocery store. She then announced that she would ask Sr. Florine for the paper. Well, that's half the battle.
I could say it in a million different ways how this client expresses herself, but it's all pretty much the same thing. She's just on her own agenda ... I would go as far to say that it's a narcissi personality - and in so being she's got limited ability to be thinking of anything different.
Hmm, Margarita is back. I think that's a good thing for the client, but not ... ok ok ... I know we've been here. The phenomena still floors me. It shouldn't, but it does.
I don't know where I picked up such high expectations for this person. I know she's capable of conversations and thoughts, it's just her domination of her ideas and needs over everyone else. This probably tells me something as a professional that I lack in many respects. I feel some empathy, but I also feel put upon. I think this is a selfishness about me that might not be too different than the other. The only difference is that I am important to just me where she needs to be important to everyone.
I can't imagine Dr. Marvin complaining about one of his client's problems, so I'm thinking I'm off-base here.
*Sigh* Ok, we’re back in the office. We had to face-up to acknowledging a mistake … we thought it was the 28th today and it’s turned out to be the 27th. Sister was the one who knew the correct date … so we gave her a hug for showing her a bad time Hehehe and we admitted to the group that we were wrong. Yay Ann!
We also before sister had gotten back talked to the talkative client about being in the middle of everyone’s world. We drew her a picture where she was big (a smiley face) and how everyone else was small. She did reasonably well in trying to get through that discussion without becoming defensive. I don’t believe we made a strong headway, but there’s an indentation as to being ready for the next conversation. She repeated her egocentrism during the next conversation too so we said … see this is what we’re talking about.
I don’t know how much control she has over it, but we need to be doing something with it. But, then she used having my ear to go over a half dozen other things – still taking up everyone’s time to be listening to her. So then we ended the conversation when she brought up the tape recorder. I told her that Sr. should have done something else besides just taking it away and that I would talk to her and try to resolve a different path.
Just a few notes ... it's just getting busier and busier
Good morning … this is me. We’re already up to almost 6:30 am so we haven’t gotten too far. We are showered, packed, and pilled. Hehehe … well something like that.
We were up a little bit earlier to do the iPod and we did a couple things on our Facebook. That seems to be a really nice program. I don’t use it every day, but I like it for its variety and number of connections to others. Hmm, we’re going to need waking up sir sweetie in a few moments. I always feel bad about that. Believe me … he needs no beauty sleep cuz he’s got it, just I wish he could dream away the morning. He’s so perfect.
Yesterday … umm we had a meeting with one of the DSPs late in the day so that went well, but there was more work added. I have to do a few more goals. It’s for the better I’m sure. Just means backed up a little more. Sr. was going to tell me, but we got busy and I heard the news through Sr. Florine and Imelda.
Basically, we’re going to get the new DSP who might one day become a Q – she’s got the education. I liked her, but there will be more of that as we really get to work with her. Sr. passed on through the others that she’ll be here tomorrow and that I will be training her for at least a full week. I hope I pass muster on being able to train her as well as sister would like her to be trained. I’m really worried about the things not getting done, and I’m thinking I might have to work at home to get some stuff done.
It’s pretty stressed out there.
Yesterday was a marker day for me getting in trouble with the boss. She asked me to take care of some problems in getting a code so that Sr. Florine could be connected up front. I went through about 50 minutes of calls to get to the right person, and then I got someone who knew what they were doing and I started to work through it.
But, then Sr. had a terrible, terrible time with that because I was switching up things on the computer – as per the techs instructions. She was saying that she’d worked so hard to get things right that I was way out of bounds. And, then like clockwork she yelled so much I told the tech that I would need to call him back.
By then Holly and Rich and Rosa were in the office reporting that their Internets were down. It was because one of the first instructions were to reset. Sr. was having a fit and we only had partial support from the others. She really steamed on us and we felt terrible. I knew that the only real option was to call the support guy back and follow through. Eventually that’s what ended up happening, but there was a lot of stress put out on us.
We ended up getting the Internet back through his support, and he was nice enough to be sympathetic, but it was a real emotional drain. Unfortunately, we found later that the Internet seemed slower and we had not connected the printers properly. So we are going to need calling them back today to get all that cared for. It is a really difficult thing when sister gets angry … you got to do your best, but sometimes nothing is good enough and you’ve just got to take the hard knocks.
Hopefully, we’ll get through the updates today and things will be ok. I’m worried about it, but don’t know what else to do, but progress the situation. Let’s take heart … we know we’re doing our best, no matter what sister thinks.
Before we found out the printers were still down I had gone into tell sister something and she said something about us maybe expecting her to apologize, we told her in not too many words, we just wanted to hide back in our office. We got no compliments, but we weren’t looking for them. Sometimes it’s nice to just lay low.
Sweeties been up for a few moments … I think he’s getting his coffee. He’s such a life’s pleasure. I love him so dearly. *Sigh*
We had Group 3 yesterday for circles. That turned out to be ok. We are still working with them on tying together the colors with the numbers. It seemed to go pretty good, they weren’t getting it perfectly, but I thought they were making good advances. We added at the end the part about ordering the cards. We really had to work our way through it slowly, but I was appreciative of the progress. We might want to repeat this part. It will depend on where we go today and the rest of the week with the other groups. The others have had like two sessions on this so they are ready to move on in some parts, but they still don’t have all of the old stuff that we were working on yesterday with Group 3.
We’ll have to make a decision today … if we’re going to be with Group 1 and the new staff tomorrow then maybe we won’t be able to go on anyway. We’re still most likely going to need doing staff training and Thinking Group so we’ll have to see how that goes there. We’re also going to need worrying about setting up the first week of lessons for Group 1 … sister says that we’re going to get a new book so the new DSP doesn’t take information from Sr. Florine which isn’t good. It’s going to take some work and time necessary that we needed for other things. We’re still REAL worried about not having all the annual work done – and then also the last 4 clients for the Qnotes for the year.
It’s all becoming quite a pressure on my brain. I’ve also got to consider needing to take a few hours to get my taxes done as soon as possible. We are set toward hoping to get enough money back to buy the computer. We’ll have to see if that’s going to be possible, but to get in we’re going to need taking some hours from the week to get in at a time there are openings and H & R Block. Pswhoo! There’s just so much to think about.
We’re almost out of time this morning. We’re going to need getting dressed and out of here. I don’t know what to think of first. I might have to get busy with the schedule for the new person. I think her name is Robin. She seems smart and is fairly young. Her goal is to become a QMRP, so we’ll have to see how that works out. I brought it to Sr.’s attention and she thought that wasn’t a bad thing. So, who knows maybe we’ll progress there somehow.
There’s one more staff she’s considering for one day a week. I don’t know how that one will turn out, but she’s basically considering her to be coming in just to work on client goals – particularly Group 1. That would be a true blessing. I don’t know how she’s doing financially on the payroll, but I like that that kind of change is happening. More help is better even though it’s going to be a drain on the system to get things started. Things will be better after we pass the state inspection … Oh please help us God!
Good morning … this is me. We’ve only got a few moments before we get in the shower. We’ve got stuff warming up … like me! So silly. Well, maybe we’re not going anywhere important in this first few moments. I did want to say we found our fluffy bunny slippers. WooHOO!!!
Hmm, if I wait a couple of moments though I can get those extra downloads taken care of on the iPod. We might want to do that. Hmm, it seems like we’re in a good mood today … not sure of why. We did get to sleep with sleepy bunny last night … that puts us in a good mood. He’s so cool! Well, let me rephrase that … he’s soooo warm!
He didn’t get home last night until late like somewhere about 10 pm. We had fallen asleep on the couch. We didn’t talk too much … we watched a few moments of a fishy show with him as we ate our fudgsicle. I’m afraid we didn’t last too long with the typing but getting some good sleep was a nice idea. I remember enjoying the feeling of being there on the couch with the computer. We’re going to need getting better with our thought processes … I remember struggling for a thought that was coherent, but that I really enjoyed being there with the computer. I don’t know why it didn’t occur to us before to be holding the computer on our lap. We have to be leaning back to appreciate it, but it was good for us!
Ok, it’s still updating … and this time going up to 31 … better get our shower
Ahh we’re back again and everything is taken care of. We’re a little worried that one of the pineapples might be leaking, but we’re not sure. Something was sticky so we washed it off, but again not sure where it came from. Ok, this isn’t Earth-shattering is it? Moving along …
AHA! Sleepy Bunny is up … he seems to be doing pretty good … he responded to the first news story he picked up. Sometimes he’s too tired to go that far. We’ve got about a half hour left and we need to stop the urge from going over and demanding more of our bunny’s time. It’s so nice to curl up next to him. That might be defeating the purpose of getting up though. Best hold ground.
I think with a couple of posts already, you know as much as I do about yesterday.
Pretty much the big thing was looking through the computers until we found one we liked and that seemed doable. We contacted our tax place and she said that we could get in almost any time especially if we came by during the day … we might want to take some time off to do that. Maybe go into work late. I should have checked their hours.
The woman said that we should get the school tax forms very soon … she thought they had to go out by the 30th. I think today is the 28th. So we just have to be patient. I know … my strong suit.
I’d like to open ground for use of the new machine. More or less why is it that we need this so much when I knew another part wanted the vacation to see Thom and another part was suggesting that we put money aside for a potential house one day.
Those things aren’t getting as much notice at this point. It seems that half of what we talk or think about … doesn’t get carried through. I don’t know why we can’t be more agreeable. It seems though that I really have to get toward that money before another part gets there first.
We’ll test out the theory of writing from the couch this week to see how that goes.
We could have to wait 2-3 weeks before getting the machine we will be ordering from the place mentioned yesterday. They get the computers from a distributor. I’m not sure who does the adding features but the guy said it wouldn’t be a problem to downgrade the machines to get XP instead of Vista. I thought that might be a better idea, but then I realized too that there was only a DVD player and most of our programs are on CD … so something there might have to be worked out too. I think this place is small enough to be accommodating … there would be a cost, but it didn’t seem too steep. He said the one change I asked for would be about $45. That seemed worth it to me.
I thought that Rich might be enticed by the machine himself. He’s always talked about doing work in the car on the computer, but it’s an obstacle to be using two hands to be inputting data especially because of the conflict between the steering wheel and the computer. But, the tablet would allow him to take notes with one hand as the computer rested on the other seat or consul. We’ll have to see. Rich talked about getting a separate computer from JVS in case anything happened to him there.
It would be nicer for him too in that he’d be able to use it for his personal things, not the least being able to play poker – Hehehe
Oh man … we just read an email from Vickie. I don’t want to get into her personal things in the blog, but please God Bless her and her family. She’s had some terrible burdens put upon her. Our heart goes out to her and our best hopes and prayers.
Evening. This is me. We're back at home and we wanted to try something different. We're too tired to be up at the computer doing our regular things, but we figured ... hey ... we do have a laptop at home we might as well try being more productive from here. There are some advantages to not being tied to the table with the Internet cord. We've still got the power cord, but it's really stretchable. I think there are a couple immediate hard things. One is that the computer seems to have tough corners that my forearm is leaning on and the other problem is that Chief insists on sitting so close to us, I can fairly say that my shoulder is aching. He's coming in above us and resting his gazump over the upper part of my left arm. I might try shifting him a little now ... Pswhoo ... can we say ... take advantage?
Hmm we think he took that fairly well, but with definite resistence. Whoops spoke too soon. He's up and looking for a better spot. It Shouldn't be on top of me though. Hmm, now he's got his right paw on my shoulder like he is telling me how it's going to be going. At least that's a lighter weight.
I will be glad when we get a new computer and this one goes back to work. One thing is that I know it's bothering Sister, but too it's not the perfect machine. Like the Word program doesn't work and I can't get the other Microsoft programs. It does get the Internet ... so that's pretty cool, but I'm really sure that Sister wouldn't be happy to find that we'd taken the computer on a fishy trip. It's a very slow baulky computer.
There seems to be breaking news stories. Geithner was just confirmed for treasury sectretary. They still seem to be going over the econimc bailout plan. We are watching Lou Dobbs now so you might imagine there are a lot of complaints. They've been having republicans complaining about the money going out, but then CA is set to receive 63 billion dollars. The complaint is that they are being rewarded for running up their budgets and being inrresponsible.
Yeeks and Blagojevich has been on the news all day today. CNN and a local radio station has been broadcasting the trial. Hmm, maybe we said that already.
We're thinking some positive thoughts for having the computer with us especially on the nights that Rich is out. It gives us a chance to at least talk amongst ourselve and have real thoughts beside just the ones that are following along with the news. Part of the good part too that we figured out is that we could sit fairly comfortably on the couch propped up by pillows and with our nice warm blanket over our laps and legs. Our legs and feet were so cold today. We just never warmed them up.
I don't have too much a sense of ownership in this computer, but it would be different to have the tablet. I can't get over the positive thoughts of having the writing part, I'm not sure how it would work though as to it having a lit screen to be writing on when it's dark. I don't know ... I use legal pads a lot at work. It would replace all of that. I hope that it picks up my writing. I can write pretty messy, but I hear it's supposed to be very good. I guess in a pinch I could straighten things up. I think though if I had it on the lap it would be the keyboard that be used. I'm thinking now about choosing a method by looking at whether it be beneficial to write right or left handed. There are times I'd like to give either or a break.
Rich would be glad to have the new computer because he could use it to be playing poker. He can't download the game on his work computer so it's on this one. I told him this afternoon when he called to check in that I was looking at one. He started that deep breathing thing he does, but then he let go and said something like well it is your money and not mine. He knows us pretty good. He said as long as he doesn't have to pay for anything he wouldn't say too much. It will be nice to have a computer that weighs less that's for sure! Hmm, took a few minutes to find that information, but at the time it was considered a light 7.5 pounds. The one we are looking at is 3.5, but up to 4.2 with the bigger 8-cell battery. Still it's substantial at almost half the weight.
Good morning ... this is me. We are at work now and I'm with the group. Everyone is talking quietly or working in their notebooks or puzzles. I think this writing is part of us doing our thing like they are doing theirs. I look up every 15 seconds to make sure everyone is doing what they are supposed to. People seem pretty calm this morning.
We've been doing just a little this morning. We had written a couple of paragraphs from home, but didn't get a chance to post ... I just hadn't gotten far enough along. We're we left off last night was that we had gotten pretty obsessed with trying to find a computer. We are spending the money we haven't gotten from our taxes yet. We'd looked at net books, and then we looked at tablets and decided we really wanted something better like a tablet.
We had thought we were going with a Dell, but we had trouble with the financing. It was considered a business computer, so I couldn't use my credit even though we have a couple thousand dollars of credit. That was frustrating because I'd spent so much time checking out the machine. But, that opened up another possibility. There was a machine called the Lenovo X200 tablet which was getting a much better review. It was the same cost range.
So, I did everything I needed to get that in order. I didn't know if I'd get financing, but they said it was only a 2 question form, so I thought there was a chance. I was at least hopeful. But, when I had picked out all the options and pressed enter to get to their payment screen the screen didn't open up. It was very frustrating ... I tried having without having an account and I tried with having an account and the result was the same. I figured that it then either that the program was faulty, or that they might have had it turned off because we weren't in business hours.
Either way it was frustrating ... I will have to decide now today if I'm going to try it again. Most likely I will, but I'm still not sure if I will get financing so I don't want to build up too much excitement. The computer cost $3,000 with all the options I wanted on it. They really - they being all computer systems really add on the extra money. There were a lot of things that we felt were necessary. The only thing we weren't sure of was the program for Microsoft Office '07. We're hoping that we could use the disk we've got. I'm also not sure about the part of which operating system ... we chose an option that had Vista and XP.
Hmm, we just got a call from Wells Fargo ... I guess we were farther behind then we had thought. I'm going to need making a $500 payment today ... That's going to sting. I will still have to make a payment in February. I'm not sure if I'll be able to cover for that. There's a lot of other stuff to pay for too. I'm going to need checking in with my checking account when I get back to the office. I need to make sure things are covered ... I had paid so much out the first week of January; I really thought I was better caught up. Shoot. $500 could be a deal breaker. It also makes me wonder if I'm up to date with the other school loan.
Drat ... I hate when reality gets involved with my dreams especially considering my spending habits. Ok, we'll have to be tough.
We want the computer before we go out fishing with our fishing buddy. We're going to want a laptop that we can use whenever and not be in competition with Rich wanting to be on the computer. I love the idea of a tablet because it would allow me not to be carrying around the clipboard at work. I'm always taking notes. It is really cool to do it on the computer. It's also pretty light weight. It’s less than 4 pounds. Plus, I like it because it's an evolution for me.
Again though, we have to be thoughtful of maybe not being able to get financed. If my school loans are in question than I have to worry about what my credit is looking like. I can deal, right?
Good afternoon. It’s me again. It’s still during the work day, but there is less than an hour left and we’ve been off-focus all day. Yeah you can about guess where and with what. But, we’ve made a choice and it’s looking pretty good. We brought the price down to under $2400, which should be pretty close to our tax refund. We didn’t order any computer today, but we checked things out pretty thoroughly.
We had looked at the X200 tablet, but then we didn’t get that financing. We tried not to be too down about that and instead did quite a bit of research on a Dell XPS 1500 something.
Hmm, there was a little break here. We checked our email and then set up the media so we could read, listen and watch the hearing for Blagojevich’s impeachment trial. And, now Sr. Florine is back here. She’s asked several questions so far. It’s not a problem, but it’s noticeable. Sometimes I feel like her secretary. I’ve got to stop this because I do love Sr. Florine … just again feeling a bit invaded with her back here. We might go as far to say because we aren’t doing what we’re supposed to, but that doesn’t overly alarm us. I can’t say why though. I think we are sometimes just a bad person. We are pretty self-centered on our own needs over that of the clients and the center. Not directly, but essentially. If someone had a direct need I would take care of it … but in-between these times we are being pretty resistant.
Let me go back to the other … there’s no fixing of the situation I’m not getting better. Not sure if it’s something that is important to me. I seem just to want to fill my minds with things that are important to me disregarding the facts that I should give my boss my work time. I felt bad too in that she’d given me a good written review. In our minds we tend to block out things that are counter to our freer thoughts. I don’t want to feel bad and working makes me feel bad – not after we do it so much as to the starting of it. I guess then that it would be considered the transition.
Ok, Our way of looking at the X200 is that we can buy the computer for about the amount of money our taxes should be and it should cost almost $1000 less than the original price we’d gotten from the company directly. The company that we’d found was in Pennsylvania. It seems like a stable place and they only sell tablets and tablet accessories. The company is called, Allegiance Tablet PC Experts. I liked that after we called them to talk the salesman was a nice older man and that they had different departments which included technical assistance. The gentleman – Al – I got a hold of did a pretty good job of answering my direct questions as well as the indirect questions where we were still trying to assure ourselves that we were looking at the right computer and purchase point.
Earlier I had been looking at the computer at Dell, and we’d gotten up to the closing screens where you just have to push the “buy” button. The computer we were looking at was $1700 so still it was under the $2050 we had in the account. We were figuring that would be the only way we could get a computer. I can’t tell you right now when we are doing these sort of things why it’s so important. I feel thought that we are getting information from more parts than one. The point is though that we stopped before pushing the button. It had occurred to us as we were at Dell that we hadn’t actually looked up as much information as we should have – we were just there buying because we could.
So, we went back to the Internet and started researching the computer. We’d done pretty good – in that we were coming up with positive things, but at one point we noticed that although the reviewers were giving it a good review there was a group of about 87 people who had given it a rating of about 3.2 of 5. That seems like a real low score especially for that number of people. I figured as much as I didn’t want to because we were so close to a decision that we should really listen.
I got about 30 people down and we seemed to be getting multiple reports of the same kind of problems. I didn’t like the noises that the computer was making as to lose parts, poorly venting fans, and hot palm spots. There were plenty of other things wrong too – in general people liked the way the machine looked and the keyboard, but there were other problems that were building up in my mind … not the least of which was that it had terrible reflection outdoors. This was the primary spot I would be looking to use the computer – or in the car. Things like the battery only being average didn’t help either and people kept repeating over and over again how the computers were going into blue screens and dozens of other problems and how terrible Dell was at servicing the machines.
At one point … I just said enough. As much as we wanted to purchase the computer … it just couldn’t be justified. We figured that if we were going to spend big money, we should get something we were really happy with. Then we thought lovingly back to the X200 tablet from Lenovo. It had been really high rated yards and above the others it was being compared to. I thought maybe I should look at that some more to figure out if it just wasn’t sketchy information. We went through a couple of Google screens just reading and reading. It seemed that there were consistency’s in almost every report, but that I was learning new things as we went along. I really think I have a good idea of what this machine is about.
For now though I’m going to leave it go … our concentration isn’t strong enough to finish the conversation, Sr.’s talking again, the trials been happening, and now it’s a quarter after 4 pm. Probably best to just head out.
Good morning … this is me … we wanted to start off with something we’d left on our computer yesterday afternoon. Politifact now has a truthometer and a Obameter. I didn’t look at the truthometer as much as the Obameter. It states stuff like this:
No. 1: Increase the capital gains and dividends taxes for higher-income taxpayers
Increase capital gains and dividends taxes from 15 to 20 percent for those making more than $250,000 (couples) or $200,000 (single) >>More
No. 2: Eliminate all oil and gas tax loopholes
"Eliminating special tax breaks for oil and gas companies: including repealing special expensing rules, foreign tax credit benefits, and manufacturing deductions for oil and gas firms." >>More
No. 3: Eliminate capital gains taxes for small businesses and start-ups
"Barack Obama understands that small businesses are the engines of our economy, and he will eliminate all capital gains taxes on investments in small and start-up firms." >>More
No. 4: Extend child tax credits and marriage-penalty fixes
Will extend aspects of the Bush tax cuts such as child credit expansions and changes to marriage bonuses and penalties. >>More
No. 5: Expand the earned income tax credit
Expand the earned income tax credit for workers without children and taxpayers with more than three children. Equalize threshholds for married filers and head of household filers. >>More
There are 510 items in the Obameter. And those more links at the bottom are real important … the first part is just a calling card.
This is an example of a link where the promise was met. They have categories of:
Promises Kept Compromise Promise Broken Stalled In the Works No Action
Looking at Promise No. 125 you can tell that the promise was kept Barack Obama Campaign Promise No. 125:
Direct military leaders to end war in Iraq On "my first day in office, I would give the military a new mission: ending this war".
Sources: New York Times Op-Ed column, July 14, 2008
Updates:
Obama orders 'responsible' withdrawal from Iraq
Updated: Wednesday, January 21st, 2009 | By Angie Drobnic Holan On Jan. 21, 2009 -- his first full day in office -- President Obama met privately with the military commanders in charge of Iraq.
The White House announced that morning that attendees were to expected to include the following: Vice President Joe Biden; a representative from the State Department; Secretary of Defense Robert Gates; White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel; National Security Advisor Gen. James Jones; Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Admiral Michael Mullen; Gen. David Petraeus, Commander in Chief, U.S. Central Command; U.S. Ambassador to Iraq Ryan Crocker; and General Ray Odierno, commander of the Multi-National Force in Iraq. Odierno was expected to join via video conference.
After the meeting, Obama issued a statement, included below in its entirety:
"This afternoon, I met with our Ambassador to Iraq, the commander in Iraq, and the overall theater commander in the region in order to get a full update on the situation in Iraq. Key members of my cabinet and senior national security officials also participated in this meeting.
"The meeting was productive and I very much appreciated receiving assessments from these experienced and dedicated individuals. During the discussion, I asked the military leadership to engage in additional planning necessary to execute a responsible military drawdown from Iraq.
"In the coming days and weeks, I will also visit the Department of Defense to consult with the Joint Chiefs on these issues, and we will undertake a full review of the situation in Afghanistan in order to develop a comprehensive policy for the entire region."
Promise kept.
Sources:
The White House Office of the Press Secretary, statement from President Obama, Jan. 21, 2009.
The statements always give a source or sources where the item first appeared and then in the updates … well you can see the progress in the update and then again you can see the source. Often there are direct links to the sources if they are available, so when I looked at a few health statements they led me directly back to Obama’s Health Care Plan … I thought that and another on Disabilities were interesting enough to read in totality. You know that my memory won’t do things like that, but as we were reading it was very helpful. If I had studied it more I would have been able to start seeing commonalities between the things being worked.
One of the first questions I thought of was … hey does Obama have a copy of this? I think it would be real nice to have something to be checking off. I don’t know if he’d already kept track of it, but this list makes a lot of sense. I’m not sure of the order like is 1 the oldest and 510 the newest? That would make the most sense, because they could be adding to it. I can’t believe there were so many promises made. I found out about this on CNN so I have to figure it just went out. They also showed a statement where Obama was asking to be kept on track. I would think something like that inspired this move through St. Petersburg Times. Or, maybe it’s just one of those progressions on time.
Hey, did we not that other new thing through CNN? It’s still making news. We’re talking about the Photosynth project called, “The Moment.” I talked to Dr. Marvin about it … he’d heard it, but hadn’t looked at it yet. We heavily encouraged because it’s so gosh darn cool. For those who don’t know about it, CNN collected 1000’s of pictures that were all taken the moment that President Obama raised his hand to take the Oath, and then through new technology they melted all the picture together so there is like this one very, very huge picture of the whole scene from all directions and depths.
Oh … cool, cool … I guess this technology is being done through Microsoft. If you would like to see the CNN picture which is HUGE … look here …
but if you want to go play personally with the photosynth you can go to …
http://photosynth.net/Default.aspx
You have to sign on, but you can create your own synth – just it then becomes public property.
Pswhoo. It’s been all morning since I wrote that last sentence. It’s now 12:45 pm … though still Sunday. Babyface is still here because it’s rumored that his friend got lucky. So basically, Rich has been on-line looking to be making purchases for his fishy world. He had watched his show, and then he let me watch my show. I wanted to watch the new John King show on CNN. I was happy that he gave me the time, but I was afraid to get up from the couch because I thought I’d lose my viewing space.
Now he’s on the phone with Bob and he’s telling him he thinks he’s just going to stay home and continue his shopping from here. They were teasing pretty bad. Rich said something to Bob about Bob’s prosthetics … I can only imagine what that might have meant. *Giggle* Everything is competitive.
Ok, enough said there. Like we’ve said we’ve been off-schedule all day and am just now starting to write and it’s so late in the day there’s no good way to be doing anything. Sometimes I wonder about why we plan when we spend so much time then canceling our plans and doing just what feels right at the moment. I know this has something to do with parts just wanting to do what they want, and I’ve been as guilty as the rest. While we’re thinking one thing it takes stress off doing others.
I don’t want to go into all those comparisons, because there is a bigger part of me that gets disappointed with our selves than not.
One of the things we did when we sat down again was to take another look at the Pulte house. They are offering 3.99% interest or a year off the first year’s mortgage. I know that is though for well qualified buyers which means putting 20% down. That’s a lot of money. I think it’s just meant to get people through the door.
Oh one more thing on the synth … just want to put in mind that it could be really useful for the fishing pictures we’d like to take. I could see some real nice stuff. Hmm, it reminds us that we have to get a new cord for our camera battery.
Man … that was hard. We ended up getting the new battery charger and that came with the adapter for the car and a couple new batteries, and then we ended up getting a new case which was smaller than the other – and we got a halter for it to secure it to our body – that was only an $8 item. We are getting ready for our new fishy season.
I had forgotten though that we wanted to be looking at a Net Book.
By Check: Mail your payment and include your student id 1087117, to Capella University, NW 5408, P.O. Box 1450, Minneapolis, MN 55485-5408. Please note: This address if for payments only.
Ok, Good morning … AND don’t forget to check this address … I’m not sure if my school payment got to the right place last time. We want not to get in trouble with these people, right?
So otherwise is all fine with you? Good good … all’s good with me. AND, it’s a Saturday morning!
We started a new blog yesterday … can I show you? I won’t double post, normally because it would defy the purpose, but this is what we’re doing:
We have two or more distinct identities. To be exact we have twenty. We each have our own way of perceiving, relating to and thinking about our world. We are unable to recall some information. Over the years we’ve put through our own mythology of being. I say this with tongue in cheek, because I believe that even singletons make a mythology of their being. I believe in what I remember or have pieced together of our past. But, I acknowledge that history through recall or recall through other people is transient. We believe each of us sensor our history through reworking personal dilemmas and excitations.
We are unable to recall all the information of what happens to us, such as day to day life or our doctor's office though we make a point to try and capture what has happened to us. I never forget our relationships with others, but sometimes we forget what those others are dealing with or how they dealt with us. This happens even when we are paying attention. We have what is considered co-consciousness. This means that sometimes we know what is happening with some of our other internal others, but sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we are blocked. We don’t often call our parts by their name unless we are trying to explain to someone something that happened that would be easier explained by naming a particular part.
We are not under the influence of alcohol or street drugs. We have drunk in the past and concluded that it was too dangerous for us. We’ve set rules so that we can have up to two drinks WHEN with a friend or family member. We did a few light drugs when we were younger, but we can safely say it’s been about 20-25 years. We aren't allured by drunkenness or having been drugged. We did have a long history of smoking. We stopped smoking about 2 ½ years ago.
We do take prescription drugs, but not many. We take anti-depressants for depression and we take one medicine for psychosis, one for anxiety, and one to help us with the clarity that is lacking from sleep apnea. Perhaps later I will look again for the names of these medicines. Many people that take medicine like to discuss such things, but it doesn't interest us. We would recognize them if we heard their names. If we don’t take the medicine, things become a little more confusing and there is more aptitude to regress. I don't know of a medicine for multiplicity - just symptoms of our various other diagnoses.
The other diagnoses we have besides multiplicity and sleep apnea are depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, hypothyroidism, ulner neuropathy, high cholesterol and arthritis. We have had diabetes, but that now seems to be gone since we’ve undergone surgery for weight loss. We also have been diagnosed for having a moderate impairment in our ability to recall. The most bothersome of these problems is that because of our still being overweight and because of the arthritis, we have problems walking or standing for long efforts. In our recent past we could not walk or stand longer than three minutes, but we can now walk and stand up to 30 minutes. We’ve lost about 90 pounds. We try to get to our gym to walk, bike, swim, or do weights.
We work at a full-time position as a QMRP, which is a counselor-social worker type position for adults with developmental disabilities. We work on the south side of Chicago and have held this position for almost ten years. I am good at what we do. Our problem with work is sometimes paying attention to the things we are supposed to be doing. Sometimes we pay too much time and sometimes we pay too little time to the various tasks. We do extra work with groups, and am the staff trainer, program developer and accreditation specialist.
We are in a regular relationship and we have three sons from another relationship to our ex-husband. We have two daughter-in-laws and three grandchildren. These relationships are fairly normal. They know of our multiplicity, but it doesn’t present anyone with special responsibilities or relationships to us. We also have a psychiatrist. We’ve been with the current doctor from the University of Illinois for almost ten years. We have had other therapists and one long-term 7 year relationship with another doctor from the Univ ersity of Illinois. We’ve known of the multiple diagnoses for nearly 20 years. We believe the most striking aspect of multiplicity is our abilities or desire to communicate.
Our First Take on Multiplicity
I don’t think of personality identities or states taking control of our behavior though I do believe that parts switch us from one mindset to another. I don’t think about which parts are going to come next. Almost always the switches come without notice or forethought. We behave however it is appropriate to behave for that part. We watched the new show on television, “United States of Tara.” We have only watched one show so we aren’t sure of that whole situation, but I know that her switches have been dramatized to entertain audiences. The switches can happen as quickly as they do for the Tara character, but our switches are all more similar to us.
I am more confused on the question of memory. I was tested at the University of Illinois psychology department and they concluded we had the moderate impairment to recall. I don’t know how this affects our multiplicity. Some of our parts have a harder time trying to remember than others. The doctors explained to us that it was as if our brain was a map, but someone had pulled out all the street signs. All the information that we’ve learned is in our brain, we just have an extremely difficult time accessing it.
Due to this unless I have something immediately in front of me cuing me to one part of a conversation or another, I most often won’t recall it. At best we remember a key cue word or thought and we hope to regain information by retracing those paths. I don’t know for a lot of things how I would be very different from anyone else. Each of us has memories triggered by “tags." We think that while some parts share information or consciousness with others, it is not a given that this will happen. For example, a younger part may not remember how to do procedural things that an older part knows. Sometimes we have parts out that don’t recall how to hold meetings we’ve had for nearly ten years. This is very confusing and builds a lot of tension when we need to schedule something to happen at a specific time, and it might seem ok for some of the times, but we might make only 6-7 meetings before needing some kind of break.
I am not sure how the brain is affected physiologically. I know in general about neurons transmitting impulses. I believe that certain shocks to our system has created different neural pathways, so when our brain is triggered it might go to sections of in which holds only a specific set of memories or repository of knowledge, abilities and skills. I don’t know20enough about the brain to know more realistically what happens to ours that might be different from others. Some of our younger parts have drastic differences such as startling, convulsing, choking, or stiffening. These all seem to be immature reflexes.
The parts have separate thoughts, memories, feelings, actions and identities during the dissociative states. Associating seems to happen in clusters of being that are not always available to us. It seems though that we can become triggered into a state of something that has happened in the past. It is said that this is caused by previous traumas. I like to think that God is giving us a do-over. Until those responses are worked out, they repeat at inappropriate times. Dissociation does seem to be a mental process, but it is unconscious or preconscious. We have been in situations where it seemed you were in an open field and there was an electrical storm happening and you find your arms up in the air yelling please come take me out of here. There is at these times a wish to dissociate without the knowledge of how to get another part to take over for you as a release.
I’ve heard it explained that during trauma a person will switch “out of his mind” to avoid being hurt or damaged from the fear or pain of trauma. The jump will then occur again later when they are triggered by fear or pain. The jump is a mental escape. We tend to say we have one brain, but many minds. I’ve also heard of multiplicity being a continuum. I am not well versed in the Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (DSM-4) to understand the differences between neurosis, psychosis or anywhere in between. I think of the continuum as being somewhere between forgetfulness and daydreaming to total dissociation. I also believe that Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is on that continuum and I understand that people who dissociate are easily hypnotizable. I know that I was able to be hypnotized to help me stop smoking, but I was not able to be hypnotized to lose weight although both were performed by the same specialist.
The disability part seems to come in when you are impaired from doing the regular things others do. I see myself as multiple dealing with multiplicity rather than having a disorder like multiple personality disorder or dissociative identity disorder. I am a multiple who has a responsible position in the community; we are intelligent, creative and usually appear to function normally to most people. People that know us well, see the discrepancies of being. We are very careful not to expose our child parts around people we don’t know or trust. We don’t like the stage show of calling parts out. It would leave us to being unprotected to be this vulnerable or manipulated to outsiders.
I don’t know multiples very well, but from what I’ve seen most have other issues other than just multiplicity. I’ve expressed our other diagnosis previously. We usually consider ourselves part s. I know other words are used to describe us, but these aren’t used by us. Those terms include alternate personalities, alters, state of consciousness, ego states, manifestations or identities. There is no particular reason I don’t use these terms. I think some of them are pretty sterile. Yeeks!
Ok, we’re back again … this is the end point of the Quite Frankly Orderly Ann (QFOA) entries. We’ll consider the above a teaser, but if you want to keep up with the other blog it is located at QFOA.blogspot.com
Hmm, we just made some more coffee. Sweetie Pie is up and he’s watching his fishing show … he’s such a dear heart! We had woken up about 3:30 am and stayed up for a couple of hours, but we’d gone back to bed about 5:30 and slept until 7 am. We had gotten a call from Maury just to say hi and to give us some information on Comcast updating the speed of downloads. Maury knew that I was hooked up into that so he wanted to make sure I was fully updated to the change. He didn’t think so much of the advertising for it. Pretty much it means that I’m going to need to turn off the Comcast box wait about 5 minutes and then turn it on again.
I’ll try to remember that a little later down the line, but right now it’s enough that I remember that I’ve got to do it. In general, he seemed to be ok with his life in general. There wasn’t so much time to be chatting, because he had gotten to work. He’s still doing overtime and he seemed happy that he was going to be getting a very nice check the next time.
Hmm, kitty just decided that he needed to be held. I don’t know what’s up with that, but it seems that holding him and typing is taking a little more effort. I think he’s feeling better though so we’ll let that go.
Ok, where are we now?
Ok, it’s about 8 am. We took our medicine an hour ago so that’s alright. I’m not sure of Rich’s schedule for the day and I’m not sure what we’re going to be doing.
I just asked him and he wasn’t sure what he was going to be doing except maybe washing a couple of loads of clothes. He has a couple of games midday, so that means he’ll be gone. I think he’s going to be leaving a little early to stop by at the hitch place where he’s going to get that added to his car. I’m still not in favor of him getting a hitch on his car rather than him getting a new vehicle to be towing the boat, but I think there are other practical considerations like doing anything before the divorce finalizes and making sure there is enough money to go around.
I just asked him how that was going … he seems to be working through something on taxes. He’s not sure if he’ll get tax deductions on the house that he’s paying for as part of the alimony. I’m not sure how that all goes, but I think something new is being written up. I don’t think there’s another court date until March, but that’s all to be seen. I’m not really very much up on all that. Rich isn’t sharing the information precisely on what’s happening like I don’t read the documents. He just gives me the briefest details and only if I ask. It’s a little frustrating not knowing what’s going on, but I know that it’s not really my business. It’s all his inner life and that part really doesn’t include me. *Sigh*
So, we go on.
Not sure where to go here next. I suppose by practicality sake we should see if there is anything in particular we want to remember of yesterday before we go on with today.
We had a couple of groups and I lost time to be working on the new blog. I couldn’t concentrate on the real work well. I did have to spend a tiny amount of time planning for the group, but I think for the most part that just lost time. It really was a disappointment, but I think part of it is because we lost the day before to teaching in the group and then doing two groups that we had gotten ourselves a little burned out. We weren’t in a place all week where we could be doing the work we wanted to get done. It really was a bummer of a week there with the exception that it could have been expected by only having a 3-day week.
The groups yesterday were the Leadership CIRCLES group and the Thinking Group. We did the same kinds of things for the CIRCLES as we’d been doing all week and that seemed to work out good for the group. It was a pretty big group and there was some distraction in that one of the clients is not into real work. He kept trying to distract his peers and he did the same during the Thinking Group, so at that point I separated him a big from his peers. I don’t like to mess with interruptions especially if it’s breaking into my concentration or others being heard. They really do have to focus in my groups.
I don’t think that there was anything spectacular about the group … they seemed fine and did the best when things got competitive. I really don’t have much tolerance for them not listening to others getting through their obstacles. I’m much better when they get excited for their peers. This sometimes happens and sometime doesn’t and it seems sometimes it depends on the other person’s general popularity. We try to break this all the time by making sure they ooh and Ahh and clap for everyone in the group even if I have to initiate it first and slow them down until they are all participating.
We’re listening a little to Rich’s fishy show in the background … one of the famous guys Jimmy Houston he watches brought his wife and Rich seems to want to point this out to me and especially because she got up before dawn. Hmm, what’s up with that?
But, we’re pretty down on all that, because he’s so competitive with her and is tearing into her fish as not being as good as his. I figure that’s terrible. He better be treating her nice, especially after kissing all those silly fish!
As to the Thinking Group, we did an exercise where we got into social support. We borrowed the thinking from one of the exercises we’d had them working social support. We made little slips of paper with everyone’s name on it and we passed them out so everyone had one other person’s name. Then we went down the line and asked everyone who there person was and then they had to say something nice about the person – besides she or he was “nice.” That was just too generic. The second question was how could you make that person happier, and then we asked the person whose turn it was if he or she had any needs that could be met by others.
It worked out pretty good … I think they listened for the most part, but like the other time sometimes they veered and had to be brought back on track. People in that group are leaving all the time so it’s a bit distracting with all that … but we got through the hour – most likely 5 minutes early. Sister keeps switching up whether or not the chairs go up or down, so that part was figured out and we finally headed back to our office. It was a tiring session because I remained on my feet the entire time going to the person who was speaking so that I could assure which person he or she’d gotten and also so at the end of each person’s turn, I could give out a reward. This was pretty simple. I gave them a 4” version of my angel with blue wings. I know it’s silly, but once we get into something we like to play it out.
Hmm, we just got some more coffee for Rich and us and in the making distracted the kitty - poor thing. He absorbs most of my attention when I get home moving from place to place with me every time I sit or lay down. Missy’s time to catch me is the first 5-10 minutes after lying down on the chair for the night. She likes to climb up on my chest as she had as a baby and she curls under my chin and lets me pet her until Chief comes and pushes her out of the nest. Rich says that he has about a half hour left. So, he’s going to watch one more fishy show and then be getting on with his day. He seems pretty relaxed.
I did want to say too that Karla was back again yesterday. That was real nice. We gave her a hug and made sure she was ok. She’d been held under the weather and was then going to do double duty catching up. I felt bad for her because I know she’s real good about getting into work as much as possible.
WooHOO! I just got another site for Rich. He wanted to have me write down the name of a Wisconsin Lodge that he would look at for later maybe. So, I went to his blog site and hooked him up there. I made an entry that said click here – and then that took him right to the fishy spot. I just love doing that kind of stuff for him. I think he’s getting used to having a site, but I should be catching him more often when he wants to take notes on one thing or another. It’s really a handy thing to have.
Hmm, in the back to work stuff … there was something also about Sr. Florine. She’s trying to get me interested in her – breaking into my concentration to center on her by giving me a lead in sentence on something I might be interested in like the news site or the music. Yesterday I softened a little. I gave her some information and then got her a link to a catalogue that she wanted to order. I also had been playing Charlotte Church and she knew him to sing with Josh Groben so I then pulled that up for her to listen to.
We’ve really got to hold the line or we won’t be able to concentrate on anything.
She remarked it wouldn’t be long because Sr. was getting whatever was necessary to be using her computer in her room in the convent. This is going to be ideal for all. I do like Sr. Florine, just she has some really bad work habits, and we have enough trouble with our work habits, we don’t need to be getting worse.
We left about the same time just after 4 pm. When I came home we had some leftovers, but then pretty much fell asleep until 10:30 pm. We woke up worrying over where Rich might be even though we knew it was going to be a late night for him. He’d been out doing games. God Bless him. A call out to him indicated that he would be home in a half hour. We were ready for him with smooches as he came in the door. We watched him get dressed in his pajamas and then we massaged him on the couch as he listened to one of his Star Treks. We followed, but weren’t heavily invested because I think the stories are simple-minded. My baby isn’t simple-minded, but I know he uses the shows to relax a bit … I don’t think his game went well. He said he pointed several times down the wrong direction. I felt bad for him.
After that we were going to go to our computer and actually might have, but then I think we were detoured to the freezer to get the fudgsicles. After that it was pretty much straight to bed. I don’t think we made it to Rich’s bed before he finished watching TV. He might have stayed up for a little, but I don’t think he stayed up long. He was very tired.
So that was the day. Time to be moving on.
WooHOO!! Rich said he’s going to be home about 2:30-3:00 pm and that we can go out to a movie and dinner. We barely EVER do that! We were giving him trouble at first. Forgot altogether then what he had recommended, but was less resistant the next time. He said I could pick out the movie, but I didn’t know too much about movies, so I went to the reviews and decided pretty quickly that I’d like to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button with Brad Pitt. This is the show where he starts of old and then gets younger as time goes on. Now I’m really looking forward to it.
I’m glad we didn’t get TOO difficult.
He says we can leave about 5 or so and do dinner or theatre first I think we’ll do dinner first … well maybe. I’m not sure … it seems romantic to do dinner after a show. It be really interesting to do dinner, see the movie and then go out for a couple of drinks after. We never go out to drink. I don’t know why today, but it does seem a think that other people do. I really liked those couple of sport’s bars he’d taken us to. Usually what happens though is that we get tired and want to catch a late night … you know. Rich and I have never gone to a regular bar so I don’t know what that be like. 9 times out of 10 when we go out he has a diet coke to whatever liquor I might get. Usually it’s a Bloody Mary, Amaretto Stone Sour or a glass of wine.
Ok, so there is that much of a plan … from 5 pm on … we’re off the self-schedule and onto the Rich schedule. If I were being real good, we’d plan to go to the gym too, but I’m not sure if we are THAT good. We’ll try to plan for it though. Maybe we could think of going about 2 pm? That would give us at least the next 5 hours to do something. It doesn’t sound like too much of a Saturday toward writing or editing though. Shoot. How can we then make the best use of that kinda time?
It’s probably what we want to do most, right? Let’s narrow down our options.
First, we didn’t bring home any work. So that much is OUT! We still have tomorrow too, so that should be balanced now as well.
Yeeks … tomorrow is going to be an OUR day too. Rich says he’ll be gone from about 11:30 am to 8 pm. He’s got a couple of things going tomorrow … First he’s going with Bob to one of his fishy shows. He says he’s going to be buying lures and such. I know that he wants to get double the number of boxes he owns and he has to arrange all that. I don’t know, but he might also get stuff for the boat. I don’t think it’s really about that though. And, then he’s going out to his annual fishy club meeting where they do a really nice dinner out. They are supposed to bring their wife’s too, but I guess it’s not time yet that I can go to that. He says that not many are bringing their girls, but I think he’s just in that awkward stage of me being with him around people.
We just reminded him it was a week later and we were supposed to double date with Bob and his girl. I commented just a couple of things and then he cut me off from the top. He says we’re done with that. It might be because we said something like … this arranging a date with you and Bob is like going as fast as his divorce.
*Sigh*
Ok, guess we’re out of that social loop for the weekend. But, as to the general planning - we’ll probably have to spend some of that time helping with laundry either this morning or tomorrow, but other than that I have a lot of free time, especially tomorrow.
Ok, then it’s back to our planning … we’ve narrowed down a few things now what are our options? 1) Write in the blog, 2) edit the blog for the second book, 3) write entries for the new blog, 4) read from the publishing and agent books, and 5) continue the work on the tag cloud words. Is this the main stuff?
We had a little run-in with the guy trying to sell us on the eBay thing. He doesn’t want us to base our decision on the web site they are giving with the eBay deal. I told him it was a package decision and that seemed to frustrate him. For the second time he wouldn’t just email me the links. He didn’t have enough time at the end of the day so he said he’d call me on Monday and we would walk through it. We agreed to being called on Monday about 5 pm. We played tag with him yesterday because he kept getting back to us after the times we gave him so I was needing to do other things when he called like being with a group or going home or not yet being at the home computer.
He wasn’t as frustrated sounding with us as he was before, but you can tell he doesn’t like being put off, spending so much time selling to us, or the odds that I might walk out on “the deal.” He started his conversation with saying something like here I am and you agreed we would sign the deal. Well like no that’s not actually where we are. He’s a high-pressured kind of guy most likely working on commission.
Can’t help him there and we’re feeling less empathetic.
I think that we’re going to walk away from that opportunity. Dr. Marvin was right in that he had to give me more information and I don’t like him not being forthright. He was trying to tell us that the web site wasn’t important. I did call him back at one point and I think the machine said something about Omni business so we’re going to try looking that up now after we get our Internet to unfreeze. Maybe it was like Omni Business Solutions?
AHA … that was a good idea. We checked it out and it turns out that most likely it’s a scam too. There were a couple of things noted. One was that they sold for a lotta money services and education, and then scraped by with giving a lot of nothing. They said that they have high pressured sales people who get you to sign up and then to progress you have to buy more and more services and that if you get into their contract you have a real hard time getting out of it. I feel a little unnerved to think how close we were to going into this with this company … that’s all I need is to get into something there was no getting out of … especially for $80 a month. I talked to Rich about it before he left a few minutes ago. It’s almost 10:30 am now. I feel a bit of a let-down, but then again there is relief. I know when he asked for our credit card before getting the services it would be a big deal. We didn’t give him the card, but we easily could have. He’s still going to call back on Monday, but we’ll tell him we want off his list. If I’m not giving him money there’s no reason to think he might want to keep me on the list - right?
In the meantime … because Rich did such a good job of cleaning our closet last week, we now have our old fashioned fleece slippers. WooHOO!! Really happy about that!
We’ve got toasty toes again.
So priorities … let’s look at that list again, hmm?
1) Write in the blog 2) Edit the blog for the second book 3) Write entries for the new blog 4) Read from the publishing and agent books 5) Continue the work on the tag cloud words
How do we prioritize these? I guess the first one is natural. We chose to write in our blog first. This is what we’re doing now. The short one of the remaining tasks would be writing entries for the new blog. This could be a longer one depending on how much we chose to write though. It’s funny … everything I want to do has something to do with writing our books. I guess although we’ve started many paths we’re on the same track.
Well, one thing would be to read the books after we get more tired toward the end of the day. I don’t know if we’d read after we got back with Rich, but that is definitely something more toward the evening. If we don’t do it tonight, we could plan on it for tomorrow. Maybe we could shoot for a goal of 6 pm. That would give us a couple hours into it before Rich got home and we could continue if he wanted to relax instead of talk. We’d have to avoid getting into West Wing. That would be its natural competition. I’d like to watch United States of Tara, but that’s on Showtime. For the sake of records it shows at 9 pm on Sunday night.
So, that one is timed out. The writing one is too … at least if we give ourselves a cutting off point to be doing some work. Is there any other that could be done more easily at night? What about difficulty ratings?
We could decide to do an entry for the new blog and just do one maybe each today and tomorrow. That would put that one in fine shape. Best not to rush through it – maybe we could do that 30-60 minutes from now.
That would leave us with deciding between the tag clouds and the editing. I’m thinking we’ll have time for one of these 1-5 pm, so that’s 4 hours. So, do we do one of those things and get into it … or will we break them up by doing only 2 hours of each? Each are long and onerous work that I would like to complete, but whatever I do it will just be a little of the whole getting done.
Hmm, it seems that we’ve written out going to the gym? Shoot, we gotta get somewhere progressed? Hmm, forgot about tomorrow …
Let’s see writing Blog #1 until 10:30 am, Blog #2 10:30-12:00, tag clouds noon – 5 pm, and then reading from 5 pm to bedtime. That would mean that today’s 4 hours could go to the editing and if that became a hard priority there would be time for it too tomorrow. I think we’re going that direction.
Saturday
7-12:00 Write Blog #1 12- 1:30 Write Blog #2 1:30 – 5:30 Edit book #2 5:30-8:30 Dinner and movie with Rich 8:30 – 10 Read publishing book
Sunday
6-11 Write Blog #1 11-12:30 Write Blog #2 12:30 – 4:30 Tag Clouds 4:30-6:30 Edit book #2 6:30-10 Read publishing book Rich get’s home at 11 pm.
Ok, that seems cool … It’s almost 11 am now so that would give me one more scrumptious hour of writing here. Again as to our normality … we don’t know what we’ll write, just love that we can be here doing it because it feels so good and natural to us.
We’ve taken care of the schedules for the week past and future. So, maybe there’s a little time to talk about the writing projects? This seems to be the center of attention in our world. Sr. Florine and sometimes others ask us what we’re going to do over the weekend. The clients asked yesterday. We tell them the same thing we do almost every weekend. We’re going to be home writing. If that’s what you want to do … it then has to get done.
We see the new book as having come up yesterday after it had become clear that we didn’t want to do the work of a store, where our true interest is in writing. That’s about when the other blog was open. As its preface we wrote:
We haven't concluded our decision to open an On-line store under this title, but we wanted to create a site to explore thoughts about our multiplicity on a more professional basis. It is our goal to contrast our experience with that which we understand of others. I would like us to generate new truths and realities that might be shared out loud.
There are several other reasons in coming to this idea besides having been natural from the progressions of thinking of a shopping place for multiples. One simple reason was because of the United States of Tara. Maybe it’s going to turn out to be a great show, but the thing is that it seems very unreal to us … as well our sons, doctor and best buddy. Even when we go out to the Internet to look-up information on multiplicity, we find a lot of information that we don’t agree with nor does it match our life in the least.
We figured that since we’re in the book writing business already, it would be a nice compliment to our work to write something more centered on the multiplicity, but done in a more organized manner somewhat as people in general talk about multiplicity. It’s not that I think we have the only or the last word on the subject, but it would seem like I could present a fair picture of it on a more normal scale. We still do strange things, but I think the strangest of that is the mistress part. Spread out over so many years though it doesn’t seem to be a really big deal.
There have been some suicidal ideations, but not nearly as much as there had been in the past. So, I think we’re doing pretty well there. We raise normal boys which is cool … though of course as a Mom we think they are exceptional kids! I hold a regular job and continue with doctor appointments … see nothing special hear as to really exciting someone … but the thing is I REALLY think it’s more honest than I hear with the dramatized stories. I also hear people talking a lot more about their abuses. We seem to bring these up as they come up, but perhaps after so many years … there’s no reason for them to come up often. Usually it’s because Dr. Marvin has made one 1-2 sentence observation on why we might be doing something today as related to an old feeling or memory. We go through this in discussion and it might come up several times because different parts pick it up and others do at a different pace.
But, we don’t find a need to start from scratch and write out our life. There are just too many blank holes in it. At one point … I think it’s captured in the blog somewhere, we wrote out a short paragraph synapse of what we think happened to different parts and their present characteristics. But, it’s been many years since we’ve revisited that arena. Hmm, I’ve pulled out an old copy where we’d sketched out our personalities when writing with Dr. Woollcott. I think I’m going to read through that now and see how it appears. It’s probably been a couple of years since doing this. BRB.
Wow … it’s already 11:45 am. We’re going to be running into the first difficulty of breaking from one world into another … just in the switching of tasks. It means giving up something you love doing and handing it over to another with interests and intent just as strong as yours. Maybe they would allow just a few more minutes.
Basically, we just read the chapter written by Dr. Woollcott. I felt it was pretty intense. There was quite a bit of material that we’d written and I was surprised by the strangeness of our voice. There was too much information to take in all at one time. I think we will include the chapter as an appendix in book #2.
I’m not sure when it was written in that it might have been closer to when we first started with Dr. Marvin and before we’d been blogging. We went from July of 1999 to October 2003 without having a lot of written documentation. We had been writing, but it was done in long emails to Rich and Dr. Marvin. I think I explained just a short while ago that I no longer had those documents.
I’d be really surprised to learn if Dr. Marvin had them. It is pretty cool if he saved them though. He’s switched computer systems, but I have a feeling he does save stuff, just not sure if by now he hasn’t purged some of it. I know that Dr. Woollcott still has the pages and pages typed with him and the long journal type entries I used to write him. I’m not sure if we have anything left from Winona. I know we were writing journals there too, but at one point we’d made a point of throwing away things that were old – especially to do with being married. That was a part of our life we wanted nothing to do with.
We should probably think of collecting the work out there. I like the idea though of Dr. Woollcott holding it safely. I know we’ve mentioned it before, but we’re pretty sure he’d let his wife Trish know that if something happened to him he should pass it on. I think we hold onto the idea or dream that one day one or both of our doctor’s from UIC would write with us in mind.
I never got anything back to check if both Dr.’s Luttmers and Woollcott had received the books I’d sent. I have no doubt they reached their destination, but I didn’t really set it up in our mind to follow through any further. It was important that they know that we still think of them and think highly of them. We didn’t want to hold them responsible for anything including reading what we wrote, though there is that hope too. I know they both read pretty fast, but they both have other agendas. I don’t want to make me bigger than we are. I think given a chance though, I would send them a copy of the next books as well.
Hmm, we just watched the tail end of a fishy show. It had turned to record … but it was these guys who’d caught their first sword fish. I gotta admit that be a thrill to connect with a wild beasty that was that big! I’m glad they didn’t keep him though. They had a underwater camera that showed the fish on release swimming straight down another 2000 feet to the depths he normally lives. Pretty darn cool!
But, other than that … we opened some soup, added hot sauce and are back to watching CNN - Pswhoo. Can’t go long without that! They are talking about the economy and the stimulus plans again. Ali Belcher and their lady finance person. They are both good and they’ve been interviewing others so having a nice conversation. There’s nothing new about it though. Basically people are saying that the systems have to change, but aren’t. The next guy is arguing against infrastructure as not getting money to people fast enough. Another guy has added suspending the payroll tax.
That is a good idea! People in general are afraid though to spend their money because they are afraid of losing their jobs. We’re supposed to be patient in general, but that’s hard if you’re not working or bringing in an income.
Ok, enough of that … I think I’m going to need finishing here … maybe in the next 12 minutes. That way I can go onto the next writing project. Maybe we could do a slide over while we’re doing both at the same time. That seems to work usually.
Hmm, that’s pretty forthright. One resource states that switching is due to stress. I could see arguing out that point, but it’s a pretty general statement.
They also said basically that the part waiting is aware of losing time when another part is out. I could agree with you to some point … in that there is sometimes a feeling like just now in letting go of the writing rights in this blog that time is passing and you know there has to be a switch because some other part is losing time, but then it’s you against the other - bad dilemma.
I think we will have one entry where we’ll just stack up the symptoms. These are the ones stated by the first resource:
• Multiple personalities, on average 10 though there can be as few as two and as many as 100 • Exhibits different personalities, behavior and even physical characteristics • Episodes of amnesia or time loss (i.e.: don't remember people, places, etc.) • Often they are depressed or suicidal • Self-mutilation is common • 1/3 of patients experience visual or auditory hallucinations • The average age for the development of alters is 5.9 years • Depressive symptoms • An inability to focus in school (in childhood) • Conduct problems (in childhood)
To be clinically diagnosed with DID, the following symptoms must be identified:
• The presence of at least two distinct personalities with their own relatively enduring pattern of sensing, thinking about, and relating to self and environment • At least two of these personalities assume control of behavior repeatedly • Extensive inability to recall major personal information cannot be attributed to common forgetfulness • This behavior is not caused directly by substance abuse or a general medical condition
The big sleepy kitty's name is Emelia. She's our new computer kitty to match the love of our new computer friends. Think you could get her to play? Sometimes she will whisper secrets in your ear! She's ticklish.
The two cozy black kitties live with us and run the household. They're names are Missy & Chief, or just Mischief.
This is my Grandma and me August, 2006. She makes me so happy. She is 98!
This is my friend V. He's learning to take better care of himself, cuz he scared all of us and needs to get better ... Neither of us and T smoke any more
This is Deb. She's way up high as loved, cuz she's my forever friend! She works hard to keep us straightened out!
Location: Sandwich (Chicago), Illinois, United States
Hi, we're Ann and all (Aynetal3). We are 58-years and am a Multiple.
We have three adult sons and their families and am in a 23-year relationship with our best friend Rich. We have in our home Dakota, our 5-year old collie/golden retriever service dog, and Missy our 19-year old black kitty. Oh, and we keep our psychiatrist Dr. Marvin in business ;)
We had been studying at a Master's level Educational Psychology and Adult Education - e-learning, technology and design. We enjoy a strong interest in Self-Regulation and Multiplicity/Dissociation (DID, but w/o so much disorder). We do a lot of curating through reading and writing, and we utilize Word, Mindmapping, Evernote, a few favorite books, and social media (Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Speakerdeck, and Learnist).
We believe in the power of the BLOG and "all of our" ability to validate People, especially through sharing conversation, video, and art/images.
