Ayn's Multiple World

Thom the Recruit

Hi … Its back to me. We’re hopin Thom will be here in about 15 minutes. Plans were on delay … he was somewhere else at noon. We gave him a couple of calls. Joe was at work, but didn’t know where he was and neither did Maury, but right before I left Thom’s place he called to set up another meeting at 2 pm … It’s 1:45 pm now. It was fine … Maury was supposed to be getting ready for a party, but he was talking to me instead about some good news stuff. Thom felt kinda bad for putting me out, but we felt good in saying that he was worth the wait. Ya know … he really is!!!

Nothing else to spectacular on that trip … But, some of Maury’s good news is that he’s getting out of his financial jam. He’s talked to his uncle. I don’t know if the uncle realizes the horror he put Maury’s family through financially, but he’s saying to come back until he gets another job – even if he has to take off for job interviews whatever. He says he’s doing better. I told Maury he’s still an addict, but take the $2000 to get him past the bill crunch. That part’s a God send. Take it that none of them offered to help financially – especially the father, but they are letting him earn his way out of the other’s floundering… Hmpf! *Sigh*
Ok, let’s not go too far there.

Anyway … Maury’s been doing good getting around. He’s been out to a few places he’s dealing right now with Comcast, AT & T, and Panasonic or Sony. Hehehe I guess he has an interest in all things electronic. I didn’t think he was pinning it down, but I’d say now he was. I think he’s most interested in Comcast, but has a surer in at AT & T, but is willing to look at any of them with the best package. I am PRETTY sure he’s willing to look for some job security. He needs some ability to move forward, earn good money, benefits like vacation and insurance, AND school! Hehehe AND he’s lookin for someone to pay his electronics bills. I didn’t want to tell him that’s probably only getting him like a 10% discount if any, but if that’s motivating him go ahead.

I’m most enthused about AT & T, though I’m not so sure I like AT & T … I’m not ready to buddy up to them yet. They lost me in two years not getting phone service over a stupid error. Maury says it’s a Union job … he’s afraid not much room to move up, but regular pay increases. Some kind of cable technician I think They are filling up a group to educated – Maury knew there were 11 to pass the first mega set of tests, but he wasn’t sure how many passed the interviews. He knows he passed and they are collecting a group of 80 people to school together. Obviously all those won’t make it. I think these people are going to do some real physical work out in the field and I’m not sure what the hours are going to be like. But, we’ll see what the money and security package is like. Maury liked another job where they were talking about setting up playstation 3’s in stores. Yeah. Pretty sure the job learning up to 11-18 weeks setting up AT & T wiring would pay better AND it’s nice to know he’d be paid for that time so it wouldn’t bust anyone’s piggy bank. I’m not sure though … Maury’s a brown-noser like me so I’m not sure how well he would be received in a Union. Have to decide who was buttering his bread. We’ve been on management side with Rich and seen how much he fights against Union. I don’t know we’ll see.

Hmm, Thom will be here any minute. I am really looking forward to him being here.

He said something interesting and admirable. I was figuring out loud whether or not it be ok – without Rich here to invite Thom without moving around Rich. I know Rich would clear space for family, but he was gone. Before I could say that though … he said just let him know if he should pick up another sandwich. Wow. That was pretty positive.

That’s probably the biggest news of the day. I’m not sure if I mentioned it much earlier – we were so excited to set up a group going to CA. We’re talking about the part where Rich is hedging that he might be ready to meet the boys. We hardly breathed when he said it. We’ll have to go back in our Ann-way and diagnose what was said. This is probably the most major thing in our life’s together with the boys. It has to be just right. I told Maury about it, but he was pretty matter of fact and I think Thom is going to be too, but I’ll want everything really good. I think what happened was that I’ve been thinking back and forth quietly to myself if Rich would actually go – could he would he actually go with me to the ceremony … I didn’t want to ask, because that might break the spell of thinking that he might. I didn’t want to feel the disappointment.

But, this morning, we were sending out that request to figure out the cost and we were pretty much in-depth with our thinking … and we just kinda went in and leaning over the kitchen counter and talking to him when he was in the middle of straightening out all his bills … we sorta said, umm are you going to be able to get off all those days, cause we pretty much figured we should go Wednesday and come back Sunday. He said that seems a long time, and I said, I know but we’re already in California – don’t get there often and he said I sure hope I don’t have a fishing trip … my mind started to panic … I figured he was trying to get out of it … I hate conflict. I think it was very painful for both of us turning those pages – but, we got to the right June pages and there was nothing there. Very efficiently, Rich took his pen and marked VACATION across Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, AND Sunday. Then later, we clarified that was only 4 nights, right? That’s not so much?

Somehow though we both got to the bedroom. Rich said that we had to realize that JVS had CARF in June. We felt a heaviness. What exactly did that mean? It took him a while to explain it. It was simply said most likely the first time, but we needed to hear it a couple of times explained one way or another, before we could let ourselves understand it. Mostly it meant that JVS is freezing all June vacations until they figure out which days CARF is coming and there would be NO VACATIONS on those days. There would be no way Rich as a manager with responsibilities could go with me if it fell on CARF inspection days.

So even though it seems like this could be the best deal in the world that the guys are finally finally finally going to meet – it could all be for nothing! Plus there are the complications. Now not only for Thom, but for this other thing would it be important. And, then it begs the question – since he’s going to meet them, does it have to be in San Diego? Could we have a meeting before Thom goes? Oh man ya just gotta know that’s going to be asked! I know Maury’s been open … Pretty sure Joe would say, sure, why not? And, Thom’s just made this last statement … should I bring an extra sandwich … so there will be no doubt on the most exciting day of his life … more would be better. Rich said not too much after that humble statement that he might go to the ceremony – which means YES!!!! He said next, that he doesn’t know if the boys would want him to be there. We tried not to get excited. We were too dumbfounded. We kept our voice low – still not thinking we should really be breathing. We said … “We’ll just ask! That’s pretty simple then.” And, then we kinda just moseyed out of there … we didn’t want him going backward … this was the farthest we’d ever gotten with him on the subject … it was pretty incredible. Sure wanted to take it forward!

There’s still the inevitable Annpsychology. Trying to figure out the man thing. Maybe we’ll ask Thom … he’ll know the manversion … umm IF he gets here … he’s late again 2:20 pm … eh just more time to write out these fantastic events. See this is what happens to be part of my family … things turn on a dime. It’s like when Rich comes home and we figure out if we’re having hamburgers or shrimp, or going out or maybe over to the zoo, or are going to hear about his mother. You just never know what is going to happen. When you get cut out of things – no information coming in – its like being blind-sided – in some senses you stop growing … at least in the same direct way as the others … not saying there is bad or good to that, but it is lonelier.

I think that should be understand with the brothers going into the service … we have to make sure that they become letter writers. I remember that feeling of being in Norway and waiting on letters. They were extremely important. I hope today that I can find from Thom some of the things that he’ll be interested in … maybe I can help him keep up? Probably most of the stuff will have to be from his inner circle though. Think that’s where it’s happening … still Mom’s on the outside. Just I don’t know if the others can be as regular as Mom’s. Mom’s can be pretty faithful when it comes to their sons and daughters. Well we’re just guessing on the daughters, but we’re thinking that way. We’ll have to talk to him also about having a family picture with him and his brothers – maybe Alex for his foot locker. I want to be in a picture though … want to be part of his family … not just the one that we need to keep protected – left out in a quieter space. Hmm, maybe we raised them that way? I don’t know … was I such a tough Mom that they had to keep their life from me? Yeeks?! Ouch better not go there either – Nothing negative today, remember?! Thom’s coming!

I hope he’s ok? Ok, shhh, remember we weren’t going there? Just kids aren’t as much on time? Hehehe Marines will straighten that out! Poor kid.

Ok, what else do we want to get straightened out. Ohhh yeah well let’s just think a second about Rich … on the car way home we were thinking just about the part about the boys now being more grown up that he wants to meet them – I don’t know I think there is something about the situation now that he is very proud of them.

Holy Schmolly … I’m back It’s about 4:40 now … Thom just left. He was here about 2 hours. I guess he called and called, but I didn’t hear my cell phone. I’d left it in my purse stuff in the kitchen … but one way or another he was here. Oh man … what a kid! My little heart just goes pitter patter.



There is so much, so much I just feel overwhelmed in joy … but, I know it’s like this with Maury and Joe and Rich too. Just right now it’s Thom and I’m feelin it pretty strong. So gosh darn proud of him. He’s changed – changed a lot, but then he hasn’t things are all mixed up in my head. There was one point we were trying to talk about the difference between himself as the Board of Trade “business” person like his Dad, now he’s more the humanitarian person like his mom – talking about saving lives – mostly that of fellow military. I don’t know when all that really started … I just know that its there now. He talked about if he was going to die he wanted it to be in some business that was doing something important with a few others in a secret manner than in an out loud manner with 40 others. We talked about him dying. I told him that I’ve known him ever since and I motioned to his being a two year old – mostly by the one word, honor. He had mentioned the word and it had triggered ours. I said you’ve always had it and something like that you would do something now like die for it, I could understand. But, then they would still have to put me in the hospital for a while … and then I had to stop because I started to cry some like now. That be my Thom.

We did go over the part to of flying out to San Diego … he tried to say something about the farthest thing from his mind and that he heard something about and was going to recommend against and didn’t even know to ask cause of expense and such, but then we were like, whoa Nelly … hold on … Umm Thom … Graduation is June 6th and we are going to be there with bells on. We’re already figurin it out … because and then we started breaking it down in our slow and fumbly bumbly way. Then we talked about contributing $3-400 toward a room for anyone else and that people should be starting to figure out how they can do it, because the marines said they want all the families there … That part was for sure! We talked a lot about what was stuff we’d read.

He seemed interested in the site that we’d found from Marineparents.com I can imagine he might want to tell his dad and Jackie about it … It sounds like Jackie his step-mother is going to be the motivator on that side of the fence, because when we brought up letters earlier he said that he was passing information to and from his friends, but he said he figured eh … they were coolin off like in 2-3 weeks. He said, that he figured only 1-2 letters from his brothers – maybe a little more from Alex and he had hoped not any from Bob. I’ll never understand the boys in relationship to their step-brother. Sometimes they seem to like him and sometimes not. I think Thom explained it today in that he chose a bad relationship with a girl and it went downhill from there.

Basically though … Thom thought that Jacki and I would be the only ones that would be writing letters to him seriously. That made me feel secure in my relationship, but sad too. It was like the first breaking away of reality for Thom. It came up again in another way. Somewhere during the conversation we were talking about 10 day leave. Thom said he didn’t think he was coming back here again. I think that is going to be a very sad thing if it happens like that because it means I won’t see him again. But, he talked of maybe going to Hawaii for leave – he commented on going alone or without his brothers. And, I acknowledged yes they would need to go home and back to work. I also added that maybe he would find new friends – marine friends that he would go with … and he said yes that’s a possibility.

I think though that Thom’s got in his mind that he’s now a world traveler and I think that may be the case. It fits him now that he doesn’t have a home per say. I think his brothers and friends have absorbed his things. Thom very poignantly talks of leaving just with the clothes on his back, his social security card, driver’s license and recruiter’s number. He says he probably won’t have a dollar bill in his pocket. He’s not planning to have anything, because he’s pretty convinced and I’m thinking he’s right that it would be taken away from him - though they might take nothing as a sign as being a smart-aleck. Another time I told him they were going to spot that ego – could have said a million dollar ego and take care of that right off the spot! But, I don’t mean anything mean here … Thom is about as honest as they come.

He talked about taking on leadership roles after he figured out what was involved.

He has desires to be the strongest, the best, and all. He could be, but I could also bet that he will find others that he’ll admire. I think it is well noted you go in as a “me” and come out as a “we.” Thom says he’s at his heaviest now having gone up to 140. He’s thinking the marines could help him bulk up to 170 … wow!

Thom’s was running up to 10 miles a day, but 3-4 miles at a time. He stopped that because he was hurting his knee, but he’s still working in the weightroom. He wants to build especially his upper body. I asked him what he was doing with his time and he said not much and I guess that might be a problem, mostly I think he just wants to get going. We asked him to come down to the center with me and meet my work.

But, he said probably not, but we’ll try again. I think it would be more eating of humble pie as he calls it. He had talked about cleaning his barracks with Q-tips.

When we were talking about the death stuff … we talked about insurance. He has to sign his $400,000 or so over to someone and he’d pretty much decided that he didn’t need to give that to his brothers that they should do for themselves. And, I agreed and I told him as I should do for myself – unless he had $10,000 for burial expenses. That’s all I would ask for, but even that half-heartedly. I said that the money and he’d already thought about it and agreed that it should go to Austin, his son … well at least some of it to Austin. He thought that $100,000 should go to him for educational scholarship, but then maybe the rest of the money should go to his ex-girlfriend – Austin’s mother for her to buy her home – even if she was married. He wanted to do that for her, because he thought she had really done the best for them all in their relating.

I thought that was like Thom … noble.

Thom said that he met them over at the recruiter’s to sign some papers and he talked to Austin about joining the marines. Austin asked if he might go to Iraq. Thom said he might. Austin asked if he might be one of them who would die. And, Thom said yes. So, Austin said that he hoped that his dad would be one of them who wouldn’t die. Thom told him “me too.” This kid and even HIS kid are pretty damn cool.

I’m going to meet him one day.

But, can’t go there now …

Thom talked about wanting to be in a relationship again … not right away, but some day. He said that he’d be interested in learning 3 languages. He doesn’t know if he could learn languages, but he would like to know Japanese, Chinese, and Spanish.

Wow – Ok, Thom !!! He’s now interested in an Asian wife – someone who is educated, but still more feminine, I think – but don’t quote me there. He did say he and his girl would work out the logistics of home and him being involved in secret business in different parts of the country. I think Thom is seeing himself in a role as a secret person – though he talked quite a bit about being a sniper. He said that he could see that if it turned out like he was in the top 2% there. He liked the odds at being 1000 yards away from someone and shooting them before they shot his fellow military men or women.

We talked about Thom taking lives and if he could live with himself and all … Thom thought he could after the first one. I told him that’s the kind of stuff that could really mess with your head and he agreed and said that affects a lot of people that go into the business. He said something about shooting and then and here he gave the corresponding gestures “run like crazy!” Hehehe good boy!

We asked him about what he thought of President Bush. He had a weak position, but basically could see nothing against him. He had his strongest position as being against Americans who said after the war in Iraq that we should be out of it – he thought that was cowardly. Where were they after 911. He softened the tone for me saying yes there were people like me who even WITH 911 didn’t believe in going to war. I think he sees that point. But, then we talked about delegates for president now. He didn’t know McCain – nor did he associate McCain with Bush as both being republicans. He knew pretty well that he wasn’t for a woman president, but his logic was that she had accepted it was ok that her husband had these – he assumed more – sexual affairs. I didn’t ask about his thoughts here on me having a sexual affair so long with a married man. Let’s not go there right now, k? Then he had some pro-things to say about Obama. Seemed like he’d listened to a good handful of things about him … maybe more young adult orientated, but we had no problem with the logic. Just didn’t think in general Thom spent a lot of time with politics. That wasn’t supposed to be a big deal amongst the parents in marine parents group, but I suppose it will come up in Thom’s training. I made sure he knew that we supported Obama. I ignored the Bush factor.

Thom seemed in a good mood all the time he was here. He finished the sandwiches fast … He had 1 ½ as planned and he gave me a half. Good boy. Thom said that there were only a few things he had to learn before going in, but he skimmed for me a parent brochure I had here about what was happening at boot camp. He also read through the schedule. He has about 14 rules that marines follow – maybe all military? I’m not sure … he knew a few … seemed like how to process the regular work schedule like starting the day through to handing over the work to the next shift. And it seemed he had to know the hen-pecking order of the ranks … he had put in some work there, but I figured he would learn it more quickly.

I am already losing a grasp on some of the things that were said … maybe I will remember more when it is earlier. Right now it is 6 pm and we’re hoping Rich will come home … we’ll remember different things with him. There was so much more … I’m afraid of losing my valuable Thom “stuff” I made sure he knew that we wouldn’t be satisfied with this being our last visit … he said he would see what he could do … I’m pretty sure he was going to work with us. I was happy with the amount of information he seemed to take in of the info they had given to him in their training sessions and “movie/videos.” I think that Thom is very capable of learning. At one point we were talking of the points of being broken down and he talked of his step-brother and how everyone gets drained until they sleep/pass-out at some point back in the barracks – again lots of cleaning. Thom seems excited by it all. He said something else interesting he talked about probably not going to like his drill sergeant, but then looked forward to him saying afterward that one nice thing about Thom that he couldn’t say before. It made me wonder though about the relationship that he held with his dad.

Ahh Special baby’s called … It’s my duty to pick out a redbox movie on-line … better get going he’s pretty close to home now. Take care!

posted by Ann Marie @ 2/19/2008 05:18:00 AM Comments: 0