Ayn's Multiple World

Actually a nice rolling Saturday leisurely floating past

Good morning. This is me. It’s been a whirlwind week I think … not sure how much we’ll remember. It’s Saturday morning, and we haven’t written since Sunday and it’s already 7:12 am. We’ve been up but drowsing through it so far. Just getting to consciousness. So much to remember. First a couple notes of the morning?

Hmm, we’ve just mixed a Sarah Brightman playlist with Hayley Westenra, Bond, Charlotte Church, Andrea Bocelli, Celtic Women and more. I know kind of in it today. That’s my mood I guess last few days. We’ve eaten a power bowl of strawberry shredded wheat like things – just one! We’ve done our Chief petting duties and we’re waiting for sir love a lot to get up. But, we’re thinking that he is going to want to get some laundry done.

Today he is going to spend the majority with his son. They are going to the auto show and there have been indications that they MIGHT spend dinner over at Hooters. Rich chuckled over his son’s positivity in leaving the car parked there so they could drive to the show together. *giggle* Yah, uh huh. I suppose that kind of thing could go on all day … I would suppose they’d meet between 10-12 pm? We’ll see. We’ll try to avoid work this morning and do some writing and then spend a couple hours with Maury … he’s coming this way and we’ll be going out to a late lunch together. I think his girls are going to an all day party of some sort or another – I forget … so that leaves him free. I don’t know what other plans he has for the day. When people are young they have plenty of plans. *sigh* Since Rich isn’t here – we’ll invite him back this way if he’d like to talk more. Yeeks that would mean picking up? I’m not sure about that. *gulp*

I know, I know … it’s never that bad … but, right now I have in mind not to leave the keyboard for a while, you know what I mean?

Rich keeps stacking up mail here though … don’t know what to make of it. I think I paid he immediate bills, but you never know … should process my way through it. Everything takes time L Ok, we’re not going to be dreary this morning ladies – k? Ok, good that’s straightened out!

Might want to get some coffee soon. Still working off the first cold cup … we’re on our last pot of coffee. Rich and us were supposed to go out yesterday for groceries, but then one of us might have fallen asleep in the car and I guess we got driven home instead. Guess what? Guess What? We got to hang out with the BIG GUYS!! Yup Yup!! We went out with Rich to see a basketball game last night. It was very neat! They were 8th grade boys and both teams were trying pretty hard … but, at the end the better team pushed a little harder and the score was like 31 to 46. I was surprised that the parents weren’t more cheering like, but it seemed quiet in general. There might have been like 20-25, maybe 30 people in the stands, and then the kids and the coaches.

Rich had a real uncomfortable time ahead of the game. He realized half way there that he’d forgotten his shirt and whistle. Oh man … it really wasn’t a big deal, but we got scared for him and didn’t really make it back all the way from it. I’m afraid we regressed a bit. Not a whole lot, but we did withdraw. He got on the phone right away. He talked to a few people and decided to go to the game anyway … he had to go like an hour and a half out and was like 2 minutes early. It was close. But, they decided it was ok that he play. Fortunately, he was in neutral colors. He had his tennis and black pants on and a grey shirt. AND, the other ref had an extra whistle. Rich bought it from him, so that was nice. No sharing of the spit or nuthin.

It was a very fulfilling thing watching him do his thing and seeing the boys working so hard … I can’t tell you all where our mind went. It’s not usual for our mind to be so free from chores or computer for such a nice period of time. Mostly, we just watched the boys and tried to disentangle what it was the refs were seeing. I couldn’t make out a lot of it … But, we understood the traveling one and maybe a bumping one – they thumped their rolled hands together end to end. Not sure. There were a lot of calls made, but no one said anything bad against Sweetie Pie so I thought that was nice. He says sometimes the coaches don’t like the calls, because they are against their team. *Sigh* Poor refs.

There was a couple other side things. There was a couple little kids – 6-7 years old playing a side game between game in front of us. There was one kid with glasses who was actually pretty good. And, then there was a lady off to about 5 pm position in back of us. She made the most ugliest faces while she was smacking on a piece or two of gum. We tried hard not to stare at her. But, she wasn’t the friendly type that liked you to look at her kids or nothing, so we tried to look away. We started to feel bad about what it would be like to be her kid – because she was the all powerful type and then there was all that loud gum popping. And, then … we got a look at her daughter. Damn! She was doing the same thing!! Two obnoxious women … side by side they looked like a clown stunt show – especially with the buffoo hair doo and lipstick and heavy black lines around the eyes. Man this was a serious woman to recon with … But, beside from her that’s about all the side news … people were pretty spread apart.

I don’t mean to be mean, it’s just that some people do everything they can to catch your attention. Her colors and sounds were dramatic – and then her emotional stance being an “angry” person or a dangerous possession-like mother-figure like a giant nestling robin were all a little scary and stood out as being well “story-worthy”. Just don’t meet any of these type people where I live. Not in the apartment anyway … Yeee!

Ok moving on. Before we went to the game we had a very nice drive … It was a little dizzing though after a while because of the regression and because Rich was running late so he got into his serious mood and he was cutting in and out of streets and it was dark and the streets were up and down hills and it was wet and a little spooky because we were up past our bed time already and didn’t know where we were going or if Rich was going to be in trouble. But, he kept plunging forward over all the dead tree stumps and undergrowth with his sword drawn and his horse snorting the fresh misty air … and and

Well, no it was exactly like that but it almost was …

Well you can at least see the problem right?!

Ok, well before that … we went to a restaurant and it was Italian and we had bow-tie spagetties with not much sauce and lots vegetables, but they were chopped up good. Rich had spaghetti and we had a stack of good bread and a salad. AND, we had only water and no dessert. The dinner talking was a little confusing. I think its getting mixed up because we wanted to talk more of the boys and the doctor visit we’d just had an all Rich wants to talk about is the boats and vehicles he is or isn’t getting. He’s a little confusing, like when we pass the vehicle he isn’t getting he say’s there that’s the one – that’s mine. And, we say so is it going to be soon … and he says – no next year … and then we say so next year? And then he says well he’ll see … going to look with the boy tomorrow … so are you going to buy one tomorrow … no just looking. Uh huh, uh huh.

We’re getting closer on a boat deal I think too. He’s now talking about not getting a big boat – bass boat until next year after the divorce and now he’s talking this year getting a small jon boat and getting a membership at Bob’s club. This is a Jon Boat.

Something like the first or the second. I like the chair version!





Whoops sparkly lips just got up! It’s 20 minutes later – 8:40 am. We took our medicine and saw fishyman off. We helped him gather two loads of laundry, which he took down stairs with him on his way to the grocery store. He said that he would leave with Chris closer to 1 pm. He said the above boat was expensive, but a good looker! Hehehe. Hmm, someone got her glasses smudged from smoochin. Yup that’s just the way to get up! Maybe it’s a good idea to let fishyman sleep in … he sure did get up fast … we ok … better not go there … it had to do with touch and feel … and ok … skipping that part sorry.

ANYWAY. Back to fishyman … hmm, we’re we talking … oh yes … I think we were sorta something about his latest desires. I think he’s thinking that he could be having his step dad looking for him to be getting a good deal on a Jon boat up or down the river he’s living on. Rich says there is something always for sale. Although I’m not sure that’s the best deal. I think that Rich is thinking new is too expensive … but then he might buy a new boat next year and put it on payments of like $100-$150 per month for $10 years – I’ll do the math … I got the calculator. It’s up to the most about $18,000 boat, plus interest I suppose. Probably he’d pay it off sooner, but one way or another he’s just trying to make it reasonable without pinching the pocket or tying the money up too much. I guess that’s not a lot of money for something that he’d want so much.

He’s talking out loud about how much it would change his life style to be getting a boat and how much he’d want to be out on it and how that would affect our relationship. I don’t know really what to say about that right now. There’s part of me that says well maybe I could come with him sometime … but, then there’s the other parts that worry about fly’s, mosquitoes and out houses. I think I could toughen it up and especially if I were thinner so I wasn’t worrying over tipping over the boat or being too clumsy, or embarrassing him. I think that I would get into reading and tanning. I always used to like those things. Just have to spray down I guess with the buggy stuff … think that’s what the fishy guys do. AND, we’d have to learn not to talk too much … I think fishyman prefers it to be quiet when he’s fishing. I have always loved the idea of being “with my guy” as long as he doesn’t get razzed by it from the other fishy men. I think he’ll fair better if I’m thin and good looking and quiet and fit it rather than if I’m yucky like now … ohhhh ok, let’s not do that to ourselves. Ok, but you know! Maybe we’ll be better for next year than this year – k? Just Sayin. That’s all … plus this year there is still the divorce. Better to be unveiled next year.

Ok, now that that’s settled.

Ok, so in general we’re still for this boat idea. AND, I think it’s not a bad idea to get him used to the little boat before he gets used to the big boat … I’m trying to get over the safety factors. I worry about him being in the water, but then maybe that’s natural at this stage. Just with others, there’s always been two’s company. Felt safer that way. Hmm, ok, so let’s go on. Is there anything else to be said about the boat aspects for now? I just know that he is ancy. He’s also talking about that if he gets the membership – and he’s gotten to the point that he’s given Bob permission to ask around – think it costs about $3,500 to join – then he’s going to ask his stepfather to fish more. He says its about 20 minutes away from his mom’s place so shouldn’t worry his mother so much. I like that aspect of it. And, I would like the aspect of him maybe taking out his son … or maybe even my kids one day if they all got along that way. Hehehe … think Maury would talk him to pieces though. Have to watch for that. Ok, we’re getting ahead of ourselves again, though we asked him about it again last night. We asked him if he’s thought of a relationship with our sons. He said just a little and it was about taking a back seat to me, but that wasn’t what we were looking for … we were hoping that they’d get to know each other more. I wouldn’t want them not to like each other though. Pswhoo … that’ be a problem too much! I think they would respect him, though voice that their thoughts in opposition to a few tendencies of his. Might help me gain perspective – in a family manner.

Anyway. Let’s not go down that path too much … lots ahead yet.

Hmm, before we forget … there’ were 3 doc appointments this week better say something about all that. We had appointments with Dr. Prensky, Dr. Marvin, and Dr. Berger. First two were right after one another on Thursday and the third was on Friday. Dr. Prensky was the worst and Dr. Berger was very reassuring – particularly concerning Dr. Prensky. Dr. Marvin’s was hard and thick and perilous. Don’t know how deep we’ll go there.

As to Prensky. Dr. Berger said it best in that he’s a bit into the power trip thing. We were not even fully into our full complaining mode before she cut us off … I know, I know … hehehe she had the story without us needing to explain. Basically, Prensky told us that if we didn’t do what he said that he wouldn’t sign our papers to get the surgery. He started the meeting with … let me look at your file. I’ve read Dr. Marvin’s notes … I’ve reviewed our last notes … Did you listen to the relaxation CD? Then at the end of the meeting he said that he was going to call Dr. Marvin “on us.” This came off like a big “I’m going to tell on you.” Like after 9 years of being with Dr. Marvin … he had the higher superiority to “tell on us” and confer notes with Dr. Marvin where we were lesser than the two of us instead of being on the team anymore.

It felt very threatening. We let some of our frustration out … like ok, here we are 20 years down the line working with all these great psychiatrists and psychologists and all of a sudden he and his gimmicks were supposed to cure us in 4-5 sessions where years and years of intensive psychiatry have yet to unlock all of our secrets. OR, we couldn’t get the surgery we needed. HUH??? We remember telling Dr. Marvin … are we at the point we need to just lie to him to get past the sessions. Dr. Marvin said, I don’t see where that’s going to help, but then that was just a further frustration.

Dr. Berger basically laid down the line … she said … we have 2 more sessions with Dr. Prensky she said promise that you’ll listen and SAY that you’ve been listening to the CD’s and they are very good. That is the key crux of getting past Dr. Prensky … it’s like HIS THING. I guess she’s been around this bend before. She says that all I have to do is put up with it and he’ll sign the papers by March 4th meetings. She was very sure of that point. I am guessing that it doesn’t look very good on him not to sign that he’s been successful. His big thing with Dr. Marvin was that I wasn’t trying. I’ve come a long ways in life … most often I think I do try, but we go through each of our separate sets of obstacles. But, to say that we don’t care … I don’t think that would be accurate. I think though that it could be said … that we don’t care a lot about Prensky and his Pop psych. Say this mantra and be cured in 2 weeks or less. HMPF!

Dr. Marvin though took it seriously. Between all that had gone on and … the feeling of being blocked do this or else kind of thinking … somehow we got into a bad way … I remember we were crying quite a bit … and there was some head thumping … and there was some uncontrolled arm movements that we thought later of as someone’s attempts to block hitting. I think there was a lot of conversation about our mother. Part of that was that she’d called back this week. Instead of being able to talk to her we’d not been able to. I don’t know if we’d talked about that … I think we might have. The only thing that happened on that this week is that she mailed a clipping from the newspaper from a lawyer who sued for the sake of family – loved ones when people died from complications of the surgery. I couldn’t comprehend that … was she saying that they figured we were going to die and she was going to make off with “our life” like she’d made off with our grandmothers? That really shook us up. There was no notes or anything to go with that. We couldn’t understand it. Dr. Marvin agreed it sounded suspicious.

I remember something now in that he said that we are going to have to give up some kind of thoughts or hopes to think that she will ever be capable or something of being the person that we’d wanted or hoped to have in a mother. I don’t think he said it like that, but that’s our nearest understanding of it at this very moment. We’re still having trouble grasping that idea. He was saying something like you deserved a mother who cared. I remember him saying something about her being very self-interested. And, that he couldn’t diagnose her, but there were psychological something somethings that went with that. He didn’t seem in the position to be able to tell us directly … I keep forgetting what it is, but I think in the back of our mind we know what it is she has … ahh Narcissistic Personality Disorder – that’s it … let me check that for a sec.

Yeeks – now its almost 11 and Maury’s called … He says he’ll be here an hour early – about noon and that means we’ve got to jump in the shower … brb!

Whew! That was hard. It’s now 11:38. Computer said I was gone for 43 minutes though … It’s always right. Rich had to come in and help me out … we had stopped processing after the shower. Shaky. I asked for the V8, but it wasn’t enough for the diabetes. I had skipped the afternoon snacks. So, I had to ask for a fudgicle. That did the trick. Wow … We were really out of it … could barely see the bed two feet away or lift our hands. It was really terrible. But, its over … We aren’t going to fool around … we’re sucking on toffee lifesavers and will order lunch soon. We told Rich that we think we’re ordering a full salad with veggies and either steak or chicken … could have shrimp, but usually don’t trust there’s more than 6 shrimp on it. We’ll see where we go.

Thinking light. I think Maury will eat well. He usually does … he’s such a joy … I can’t believe I get him all to myself … I love my granddaughters and daughter-in-law, but getting #1 son alone? Pswhew … that barely never happens! Maury says he’ll call … It will be in a few moments … enough to kiss sir smooch, grab our coat and keys and head down the stairs. I’m not sure who’s car we’ll bring … mine is very clean on the inside, but a mess on the outside. If I had some money I’d clean take it through the $30 wash, but not yet … gotta wait til after the 15th, I think of next month. Hmm, what else then? I know Thom will be gone … that will be the biggest deal.

We left Thom another call yesterday … He still isn’t answering … we invited him out to dinner Sunday. I’d really like to share time with him … There will be more with my mother’s narcissism – I don’t think Thom has it though. Mostly because Thom can be very empathetic to others. Just sometimes like me I think he blocks people out. I’m sure he got that from me. Not sure his father’s influence. And, I have to remember Dr. M.’s thoughts – sometimes it has nothing to do with us, but just Thom’s volition. Kid’s on his own. I know … but as a parent maybe its baked into us that you always feel responsible. Well, of course, unless you have a narcissistic mother. That puts us going back to figuring out my father. Is he the borderline one? Oh Lordy read that til we got drowsy .. Borderline is my father. God Bless him. But, we were saved by the bell. Maury called. God bless him!

WooHoo!!! We’re back!!! It’s about 3:30 pm now … we’ve been back for 15-20 minutes. We had a very, very, very nice time … well except it wasn’t nice hearing about some of the hard stuff that Maury is going through, but we’ll let that part be private. Later on he started talking about stuff that was lighter like he talked about his fantasy basketball team with a new league … He’s very happy about it and he says that he gets extra points for playing the extra effort type things that he likes to do. He was very careful to say only an hour or so a day. Think he’s taking heat on anything that is not getting a job orientated, but I know that with that kind of pressure there needs to be some kind of release. He has another hopeful event on Tuesday – he’s looking as a technician at Comcast thinking that they must make a nice wage for some good old hard hours. I’ve already said a prayer for him. He needs something for now just to be paying the bills. I worry about the part of him being 27 and not really knowing what he wants to do with his life, but maybe that will still come in time.

We talked to Maury about officiating. I’m hoping that is going to work out, because I think in the long run that that could be one of Maury’s really really good strongholds. He really does like his sports life and the bit of authority that comes with it will suit him. I like him getting out during the week and making those extra bucks for his self-esteem and there’s this other little part where I like him identifying in some respect alongside of Rich. But, let’s not tell him that part yet … ok?

We went pretty much down the line with everything … we talked a little about the person that has died on the Garvey friendship side, hmm, we didn’t really talk about Chris this time – Maury’s uncle and old boss. Maury did talk about his father. His father was pretty haunting in that he told him that he should stop paying on the house, because basically, he was like many on the title wave of going belly up and that he would make sure that his daughters got fed, but that the house was going to go, etc. Man – that sure didn’t make ANYONE feel good. There’s parts of Maury that believe it … and it makes me feel like screaming. How can he – but, then there’s this part now that’s feeling it where at the table I just felt angry and shocked to hear Maury repeating what his father said … I thought How dare he say that to my son. But now here thinking … it seems like just what had happened to us. He basically, just disconnected any chain of responsibility – as if saying sorry you are going to have a miserable life – write when you get over it … second hand nah I’ll probably be in Phoenix that week.

That explains Maury’s father to a tee. But, then on the other hand, Maury left here thinking that he wanted to use his free time with his father at his father’s “show” – he does advertising at a Home Improvement Show over a long weekend. And, then because of this other person’s funeral, Maury will be doing the whole show for his father on Sunday. He would help his father naturally – but, his father wouldn’t help him? But, I know that’s the kind of person that he is. EVEN if he was helped all along and had generous parents with long apron strings. Thom and joe even – they are in Florida this weekend – ONLY because Grandma flew them there for the weekend. It’s always rested with that generation Garvey … but most unlike even his generation Garvey – my ex was totally devoid any emotion when it came to seriously helping anyone other than himself, or if another – only for personal gain or appearance. Somehow, I think he’s been attached to the boys, but the flipping on and off of a coin when money is at stake is really hard to understand. The boys don’t get it either.

Generally, I try my best not to toil long in there all relationship. It’s hard when you don’t see it. I just hear these off-statements. They make me angry and all the time I feel helpless because I’ve never really had a position to stop anything that’s gone on around me. Maury’s fantasy games and sense of them all being real and getting players down the line 3 to 4 years in advance wasn’t I thought any more unrealistic or realistic than my thoughts of looking at a home. I thought my chances actually of getting a home one day were better than Maury’s of getting his own ball team. But, that wasn’t a point I needed to make. But, from his conversation on teams which really excited him – we went into ours on the houses which really excited me! He played with us on it like saying things like I’ll look at it a little closer to closing, but he at least listened to a little of the story of us looking at it. Hehehe We got to the part where we were saying, “We figure …” And, that’s when Maury really started teasing … he said, “Mom that’s the problem … ya gotta stop figurin! You’ve done too much figurin already!” I thought man I haven’t brow-beaten this one enough! What would a mom be if she were figurin on something or another?

Then we went on to explain … that If Rich were making so much and if half of that went cleanly to the wife and that if we both contributed 40% to housing than I would put in $1000 and he would put in $1600 and we’d do 15 years at like $300,000 and we’d get our dream house! Well – honestly I don’t know what the numbers came out to be, but they might have been something like that. I would just have to find a fairly easy job in the Elgin area where I could make $45,000 a year. I’m still wondering if I could get a job up at St. Joseph eventually and retire my career from there WITH pension of $1000 a month. That way I’m ALWAYS guaranteed to pay $1000 per month toward home, right?! Well at least I figure!

Well I guess all that figurin made Maury a little tired, because he said something about IF Rich wanted to spend all that money toward housing and If and If and if … and then we got into cars and I explained the something happening and that Rich might do something and we could turn his car into my car in about a year and get out of paying my payments … and then Maury really dashed any thought of hope as far as really that I owed with interest about $28,000 on my car and the best thing would be to get out of it owing about $6000 by selling back the car and giving them that much to get out of the deal. We’ll talk it over with Rich tonight. He’ll be a little excited after having been at the show. I think if I had to pay someone $6000 that would take like a year at $500 man that be tough … just to get rid of the car?? Stupid-ass deal. Ok, Ok … enough of that reality … too much.

Dinner was a long long time, but it was a very good time. He gave me some trouble on getting information about the girls. I think he figures we’re not interested in them because he teased about me waiting 2 hours before I asked about them. We claimed unfair, because we were asking about him and all – well ok, a little about the brothers, but mostly about him. For the record talk about us didn’t come up til the very end.

The girls seem to be doing pretty good. He talked about Isa finally getting to be 23” by her 2nd birthday. I didn’t seem to think she was so small … she seems JUST the RIGHT size! Maury says she’s just getting on the percentile chart where most are zooming up the angles. Well good going for her! He told a funny story too about toiled training already. I guess he’d gotten a gift certificate from Walmart, so Ame picked up a toilet training chair for her sister. Hehehe – go AME! Maury set up a rule that before Isa could take a bath and float anything in the tub with Ame – Isa was going to need trying the chair … we won’t go into private details, but things worked out. I think that kinda stuff makes a very proud daddy!

Good Isa! He said just a little about Ame and that was about his concern about her reading. I think that he was feeling guilty that he wasn’t spending enough time listening to her reading – even though they seemed to still be reading to her. My response was that guilt is built into parenting – just stay conscious and do the best you can. She’s got parents who love her … and she’s smart! She’ll turn out good!

There was a little problem up here right before he left. We warned him it was a bit of a mess. I wasn’t sure how bad until I got up here. The stack of mail to our computer left may be the worst spot. I told him rich kept bringing me the stuff, but I couldn’t handle it. In the living room there is still Christmas trees and stuff like stockings on the table and presents from underneath the tree that never made the put away stage. It’s hard to see these things when you aren’t looking at them through someone elses eyes. Maury asked about the cat litter while he was standing next to it. He said how often does Rich make you change this. We downcast our head. And, we said once a week. He put his hand on the door knob. And we yelled don’t open it it’s smelly in there! But, he did. Then we said … we cleaned it this morning. He seemed to be impressed that we’d at least taken ALL the old stuff out and put in completely new stuff. Shheese its hard to be inspected by your kids.

Oh there was a couple other things. I thought we’d impress him by no dirty dishes sitting around, but for some reason – Chief decided to come out and not hide. Maury being himself decided to pick up the kitty – we said NOOOO the kitty doesn’t like to be picked up – WE don’t DO THAT! But, Maury picked him up anyway and he said Man is this a big cat and on and on and than such cat stretched and reached until he’d maneuvered what almost appeared to be a jump out of Maury’s arms, but since he was such a generously-sized cat he landed with a Pfthud! Yeeks that wasn’t going to “weigh-in” on the thinness scale. Maury … it’s not a good idea to drop kitties. L

Man was that cat heavy … ok ok …we’ve heard enough of what you think of our cat!

So, then subjects were changed or something and the next thing I knew was that he was in the living room and had gone over by the chair – and sure enough he’d had hold of DOG and it was half way under his SHIRT! Oh Lordy! THAT ESPECIALLY didn’t go over well as you might imagine. Fluffy parts got ALL upset – and like we were remembering what it was like in the olden days … so someone saved dog and put him WAY AWAY … and then we said pushing Maury out the door … well come again … some time much longer away … you’ve warn out your welcome goodbye goodbye greendog to bluedog. Well not exactly, but sorta that way.

Man … It’s a good thing that kids grow up, right? We’ll have to try and understand what that little bit of pleasure was that he was asking for with the dog – and teasing us with his name being freckles and not dog. Cause that was just silly stuff, right? HMPF!

We did tell Maury earlier about Joe’s birthday … he said that he and Alex have been trying to get together to celebrate with Joe and Joe’s time was all filled in, but they gave him a gift anyway – mostly Alex but a little Maury … they got him a sewing machine. And, it was like WOW! What a fantastic idea! It was only a $75 one Maury said, but it did about 25 stitches. Joe would love that sort of thing. Especially because he’s into making these costumes for the fantasy games. He’s putting together all these tons of circles to make the body armor like a vest and I know there will be so much more in it when he figures out how to use the machine … Wow ….

We just sent Joe this email – and then forwarded it to Maury and Rich. It’s sort of like a declaration. We don’t often think to give away much … but it’s time to let go another piece if Joe shows any desire. I’m not sure … he is getting more space with Thom’s old room AND he’ll need a place for his new machine Alex and Maury bought … it’s a rather heavy transfer, but we’ll see if it goes. It’s a bit of tradition. Maury got the dishes from his other great grandmother … this would be very fitting.

Hey Joe ... just thought you should know.

We were just out to dinner with Maury and he told me about your birthday gift from Alex and him. If you were interested in that sort of thing ... I thought you should know that ...

Your great, great grandmother and your great grandmother were professional seamstresses (sewers) and for the record you grandmother and aunt sew very well. I inherited the "treadle" sewing machine I've carried from home to home all these years (presently under the TV) because it was my great, great grandmothers. Since you are the one picking up the interest if you want it now or later it's yours. It needs a simple leather belt (held in a circle by a heavy staple), but beside that actually works though could use some oil. It's called a treadle naturally because you have to rock the "treadle" back and forth with your foot ... I think you would like it because it doesn't take electricity - it's all natural. cool stuff!

Let me know seamster son! I don't know why it didn't occur to me while you were telling me about your Armour the other day ... thanks to Alex and Maury for helping me to put it together ... Oh and one more HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

These are your Mother's, Mother's, Mother's people. Umm, let's try that again. This is your maternal Great, great grandmother and grandfather (the mom and dad) and the middle girl is your great grandmother "Myrtle" who is now 99 years old. She just retired this year to a nursing home and is the last alive of the family. As I said. She and her mother were seamstresses. They also cooked and your great, great grandmother helped to run the local dry goods store she and your great, great grandfather owned. He worked the farm during the day. One other interesting thing - or two was that they were the first in their area to buy an automobile (pick up supplies) and they were the only ones with a player piano - in their living room, but available for all around to listen to. The house like the store was fairly open. As my grandmother grew up she rode on wagons like railroad cars out to the laborers in the field with her cousin to cook for the farmers lunches. My aunt alice the older daughter was a school teacher, but she's the only one I really knew. She's the one that turned us into reading by getting us kids magazines when we were young. (There's more to her story - but for another time). Point being you have Seamster stuff in your blood :)

I'll mail this to Maury if he's interested too.

LOVE YOU!!!
Mom



Hmm, ok … better let that go now. I think I’m about ready to let that go. I don’t know if my Grandmother will live much longer … could go on for years. It’s hard to know by my mother’s report, because in her la-la land everyone is doing “SO-WELL!” She could be 3” from her grave and be doing just like a “trooper!” Her word is like watery rice-paper.

I have conflicts now days about what to do about my grandmother. I feel though at this point very distatched. I think I like that “her story” is a part of mine more than the woman is a part of my life, because I don’t trust her not to do or say something that would be hurtful. She’s at a space where she needs to rely so much on her sons and daughter who to my belief are screwing with her that the whole thing is pretty God damned silly, but it is not going to change. I feel in danger to be talking to any of them now even though I can hear my Dr. Marvin voice giving me cautions as to not filling those sails with wind. I can’t make them love me. For the record – I don’t think my grandmother was like my mother as to being narcissistic, but I do feel she was of low self-esteem in that she relied on her husband to establish her life. She was like many of the time … she raised her family … some of her families family, gave as a volunteer – til in her 90’s. She like sister Theresa never drove a car. She worked prior to marriage out in the community, but never after. I think somewhat like Mrs. Garvey – they are ladies of leisure. My grandmother from the domain of her small community and mrs. Garvey of her larger, but the fact is that they had only to be responsible for themselves and as much family as they bothered to be concerned with … but always myself first. They never were in need of scratching for a living, because their husbands had seen to leave them with enough support to future their existence. But of their life?

I don’t know … I would guess that Mrs. Garvey still lives to be with her friends – or people who can make her feel good about herself. I think my grandmother had less people she trusted in her circles. Both had close friends. I think they each had close relations with their own children, but most likely in usury manners. As for Thom’s and Joe’s going out to Florida – It was an easier way for her to say her good wishes for Thom’s adventure and for Joe’s birthday perhaps secondarily. Who knows … maybe she was lonely. I don’t think it ever made sense to me why the woman chose to live in a state separate from all of her children – she the one who was to have loved them so greatly. And her grandchildren? I think especially of Maury Pat … I think he felt at least more than once in life that after having known her closely growing up that he was robbed of her in later life. He feels a sense of dependency on her though at this time when his life is sagging I don’t know how much he hopes she can and will actually help. Tough family … Tough circumstance for Maury. I think like something he had thought over that perhaps Thom could give him a few bucks to tide him over. I admitted to thinking the same. Thom basically walked out with some of Chris’ funded money – like $7000 or so, where Maury didn’t even get 2 weeks severance … It’s not to say Thom owes, just that Maury needs and Thom has. Thom though too has needs because he’s helping out his brother and step-brother by maintaining his portion of the rent even though he won’t be there. Thom’s a good guy.

Ok, shhhh shhhh. Probably should stop about now on all that stuff! Hmm, thinking that maybe one of us should have some medicine? Hmm, pretty soon. Not quite warbly enough, but soon … loosing our focus. We just had a fudgicle AND a jello – that’s 60 more calories that won’t see the light of day! HMPF!

Starting to wonder when Rich is coming home. It’s about 5:45 pm now. He said though that he was planning on meeting his son maybe when … about 2 pm? I think he was going to leave about 1 or 1:15 pm. PLUS, he was going to be eating dinner at Hooters, remember? SO, I think that he is not going to be home until 8 or 9 pm, unless he figures he could get home by 7 pm and pick up a movie. That might be a way of saving us a LITTLE day! HM?? Ok, let’s not plan on it and accept the best hope, k? Could be we could settle in for a night of good writing. We don’t do that very often, and could really use some for the shortage this week and this day.

Beside, nothing on TV right? Hmm … That’s a little taunting … There’s first Law and Order which at this point is usually a little more give than take, but there’s two things fighting for a little bit of fresh air. The BIG one … is that it appears Johnny Depp did Charlie and the Chocolate Factory … Unbeknownst to us! Well, that might just be the thing to do on a Saturday night! And, then that’s where the conflict comes in. Some of us want to watch the 2008 Chicago AUTO Show on at 7 pm – cuz that’s where RICH is!!! And the OTHERS of us want to watch A Charlie Brown Valentines!!! But, now as we’re typing it we’re thinking already a compromise. I think we’re going to need skipping Charlie Brown, but getting Charlie and his chocolate instead. The latter follows the former on abc, where the auto show is a half hour longer – a whole hour long show. SOOOO – we’ll watch the auto show for a HALF hour, then we’ll skip over to the chocolate factory! WOOHOOO!!!! I sure hope that depp fella isn’t going to be scary … cuz we don’t know when Rich is getting home!

Ok, nothing til then and it’s a about 6 pm now. Contrary to common belief … we are not giving up our computer even to watch our celebrity gossip on TV. Seems unfair of the sport of it to have it simply dished up! Hmm, AND medicine before TV STARTS – YOU hear just fine! Yeah right … someone’s afraid of falling asleep and missing something. Why do they put the good stuff on so late at night anyway??

Hmm, I wonder if our Jamas got washed – that might convince us to get up y-spose?

Wow that really took some time … it’s already 6:25 pm … lucky we started early, but we forgot all that happened. One part we didn’t forget … well a couple … we went to the washroom, and got on our jamas and took medicine. AND this is the part that burns … we checked out the date book he’d talked about earlier for recording expenses so we don’t forget … I thought … Hmm, that’s pretty handy … so we took a peek. Sure enough … it says $400 for March 1 and March 15th. Well, we didn’t like that at all … because he was only ahead of us 2 weeks and suddenly he jumped ahead a whole MONTH! So we changed it back to Feb 15th and March 1rst! And, then he wrote down $50 for Maury … AHA! We’re going to have it THAT way, HMMM??? AND THEN!!! He wrote down Food $98 What’s that?? Food $98 … did I approve $98 for food? Holy Corimbo … seems like this is going to add up fast and against our favor!

So we took the black and brown little “figurin” book and did a few calculations on our own! First we paid $100 for Electric on Feb 5th. We paid $15 also on that same day for MUSIC … the house has music and I PAY FOR IT! … Then on the 7th of this month, I paid a WHOPPING $154.07 for the Cable bill. Nobody has been paying for the cable bill, but ME! Then because I was in an espirited mood I wrote down $71.92 for my Sprint bill. I went 2 perfectly good years communicating to the world with NO telephone and I gotta along JUST fine. The only one I really talk to on the phone is Rich, Maury, and the Sprint folks who call to survey me when I’m driving home on the express way! I pay a phone bill to make RICH’s life more convenient and so he knows when I get stranded in a desert. If he doesn’t want to know then that doesn’t make him look like a nice guy. PLUS, he doesn’t even half to PAY for HIS phone bill, because HIS phone bill is paid for by the company – that seems pretty cheaty like to me that only I have to pay the phone and he doesn’t!? HMM???

So then … because we were riled up … we put in a $12 couch sitting fee. That’s just to remind him that we in our evil times think hey you … You are living with every stitch of furniture, dish and spoon belonging to us and so show some gratitude! But, then because we’re like that … we gave him an $8 credit for sex staining our couch. That’s kind of an important thing too. Then we slid in the big bill NINE HUNDRED DOLLARS RENT!!! That means I see your $548 with my hefty $1244.99 … that koolie means I am paying 56% of the bill and I’m the one making ½ the income AND I’m the female body that should be getting some gentlemanly relief for said opening doors being nice to female sorts of ways AND then I put a great big heart around Valentine’s day added many dollar signs and drew a happy face. So whichever mixed message you want to read from that? Be my guest! HMPF$!

Well. There ya go. I guess it’s a good thing WE did some figurin too!

Though I’m pretty sure We won’t get flowers out of it, or if we do they’ll come with a price tag added to the little brown and black book … HMPF! L

Damn! Hate that when it happens!

But, since it’s almost time to stop for the night guess we’ll go over to our happy zone. We had a nice day with Maury – and in all reality – did about 15 pages, so had some pretty good writing time too. Hopefully we’ll be up late enough for super tiger. Betting that he brings home a movie and that he calls us first to ask should he bring home the kind where Ann is up or Ann is sleeping… Hehehehe well if he brings home the kind Ann is sleeping … better not see that $ on MY side of the table! DOUBLE HMPF!

posted by Ann Marie @ 2/09/2008 06:57:00 PM Comments: 1