Sorta into Saturday ... sorta into the new chat
Good morning … it’s me. We’re going to try this new trick where we multi-task it’s already getting to 9 am on a Saturday morning and we haven’t started yet. We’ve been up for about 4 hours. Been spending a lot of time over at OH, which is the Obesity Help Chat Room under Ann G. They are talking about food stuff again and I have to step back a bit on it – we’re up to the part of talking minerals and vitamins. Les just went for virtual drinks and is passing them out. He’s such a gentleman.
Ok, I stepped out … realized I was still staring at the screen and I haven’t taken my medicine yet. That’s not good.
Ok, back on the good side. Baby cakes is in the shower, we’ve started the dishwasher and taken our medicine. I’m wondering if I should try to go with him … I don’t know if he’s going to the grocery store, but we haven’t been in a while. I know that he is going to the bank, and maybe other errands.
Hmm, back again … we checked with sweetie in the shower … he’s not going grocery shopping until tomorrow. He’s arranged to see his son tonight at the son’s wrestling meet and the son is going to bring Rich his cookbook and he wants that before shopping.
We talked to him about setting our own traditions. One tradition he is starting is that he’s going to have breakfast with his son. Maybe there will be some food trade-off’s there. He is going to have a full Thanksgiving Day meal at his Mom’s on Sunday, so we might want to plan that day to do something with the boys. Otherwise, Rich is planning to be home, but I wouldn’t be surprised if a buddy didn’t call for an extra card or football game. We’ll have to be patient. Our part we asked for is to do something that doesn’t concentrate on food. Sure, we want the food too, but we want something non-food so its not all about that. We thought, and we thought, and we keep coming back to the same thing. The ZOO IS OPEN 364 days a year! So, he says that that sounds nice … so we’re going to the zoo. I know I have to fix up my leg, but I need to start losing weight I have to exercise … and I think we need to talk about exercise clubs. Maybe this weekend he’ll go to one with me.
Hmm, just talked to him. He was on his way out the door. We agreed to talk about the exercise club after he gets back, but we can’t make any appointments for this weekend. That’s fair enough, but we need to keep stressing we have to be working on this. We say this though realizing that we’ve been cheating … fortunately the candy bars are gone, but there had been a shake this week, two sweet rolls from the gas station, and some spicy chicken sandwich ($1) at BK. There might be more, but that is what I remember this morning.
We’re worrying a little about our right wrist … it is stinging a little now … but then we are holding the Chiefster. I sure have very good kitties. Rich is gone now of course, and we stopped to situate a new thing we’re starting with the one-note.
We are taking some light notes on some of the people that we are relating to at our little “Club-med.” We opened a section called Club-med, and then we started adding folders … there was one for us, and then one for each person we met afterward. It has stuff in it like
W…
Saturday, 11-17-07@ 7:24 am
Post-op
Taking Chantix (to quit smoking) worried about being bitchy
Married
MIL and she don't get along
Might have a son Christian
Never discusses religion or politics
T…
Saturday, 11-17-07 @ 7:34 am
Post-op
Good person to go to with our questions
Boyfriend 3 1/2 years
Things between them went wrong after the surgery
He was found sharing a cell phone with another woman
Confronted partner and is now saying she will cut him loose, but is feeling bitter
Asked her to keep us up on the progress
Three sons - boys 6, 11, 16
K…
Saturday, 11-17-07 @ 8:14 am
Good sense of humor - strong personality and positive
Mother type with others in room - particularly people who've been around for a while
Master Chef
Wii was a typo that stuck
Maried 28 years
Teased:
Only blow jobs allowed (no sex until 18 months after surgery)
Son got hurt jumping out of "perfectly good plane" - going for MRI (army)
Husband went from stallion to pasture buddy
It’s not that I’m trying to be invasive … I just have to have some way to remember who people are that we talk too, especially due to our recall impairment. I know how rooms go and they send out so much information, it becomes quite terrible on one’s memory … you never know what you said to who. There is a simple search feature on the OneNote that allows you to type name of person and up they pop. That is going to help us a lot. It had struck me after saying that we’d been there one week that we should set up something from nearly the start. We couldn’t figure out for real though if we’d been here one week or two. That’s the problem part with our memory. I think it’s been one though. I have to keep on my toes though, because some of these people change their name frequently, though there is usually the start of one name and then stuff added on top.
We’re up to the point that we usually know at least one or two of the people when we come in, but so far only a friendly or vacant feeling toward them. It’s like, Ok, I can trust so and so some … she’s strong, he teases. Stuff like that.
We are fighting a want to go back and to continue, but I don’t want to lose my time from the writing – we’d be so unhappy after the day had gone by. Especially, since Rich is around somewhat and will want to be using some of our time when he gets back to do stuff. Stuff like cleaning. He says he’s got work and bills and such, and maybe court stuff to be doing too, so that should give us a work break. I should try to gather clothes in a little bit before he gets back, but right now Chief is so warm and comfortable, I don’t want to let him go. He really appreciates weekends when I stay around.
I haven’t heard anything from the boys this week. I tried talking to Maury twice, but both times he was busy. So, I figure that I’ll wait til he has some time for me, or maybe we’ll try toward the end of next week. This is when we get that poor Mom think of being neglected. *Sigh*
I should probably say something about work, but maybe just a few scant details. We had a staffing with our most educated parents yesterday afternoon, which took over time for thinking group.
Whoops cat jumped down … I think that Sweetie Pie is here. We’ll wait til he shows up around the corner. I don’t know if he’ll have laundry.
Hmm, ok we’re back. He was here and he’s like trying to busy my life. He say’s about noon he would like to go out and do a few things including a six-inch sub and library. We were then trying to negotiate how we were going to handle the library … but, then he said something about only going for like 15 minutes give or take. It was like who ever goes to the library only that amount of time, but he said he knows what he wants. I know he’s trying to help me get out, but then there is our frustration factor of being out without being able to stand. He vetoed the idea of me using the chair because he’d be there too short, and the aisles are too thin, but I can’t imagine a worse horror than sitting on the library side-lines without being able to browse through the aisles and I couldn’t do that on my own. I’m not sure … too hard to think about now. I keep having to go back to my music, but I know it will only be a short time now before he comes up with clothes. Only 3 loads this time and I know he’s going to want to get me moving more.
For the record, I did make more coffee. We approached a danger area in that he was saying that he thinks we spend too much time writing … and that is going to make us absolutely spastic. Writing makes me feel more myself – alive … I know we’ve mentioned that before, but it stands repeating. I think somehow that it is in my blood and anything else causes me stress. I can’t quite describe the feeling that I have writing, but I know that when I look at the screen and realize my fingers are typing its like this is me and I couldn’t be anyone else, and I don’t want to try.
Hmm, think he’s back … shoot, I love my hunny bunny, but it is soooo hard leaving the computer. Whoops that’s the call brb.
Hmm, we’re back. It’s now an hour later – 11:30 am. We did the folding underwear thing, but then we ended up talking to Rich for a while. We talked about a couple of big things on my agenda … the first was concerning something that had happened at work, and the next was what was going on with the surgery. We decided that we didn’t want to go as well. Not that it was a bad thing or we’re mad or anything, it’s just that I’ve been away from my computer for an hour and it’s only 4 pages long. That’s not enough to give me a chance to write out all the thoughts we have.
I’ll try to condense though because I know that in a few moments, sweetie is going to be up with another load to fold.
Damn … he just stopped me again and we had a conversation on kitty litter. I’m not mad at him or nothing, but there is a lot of interruptions, and no I don’t want to clean it right now maybe next week. We told him we’d work our a system to do it more, but we would need to start fresh, because the tray we have in there is like from the very start and I’m embarrassed to say how long, but it involves years. I said seriously … tomorrow. I want to get in my writing time now and man … I should probably not get serious about it though until this next load of clothes. And, for the record, I do love talking to Sweetie, so I’m not complaining about getting to talk to him, I’m just saying I have to make up some ground here. Next run too … girls, we need some more coffee please. To make a long story short – with the work thing. As always happens after I meet with staff they b-line it in to Sister’s office to yell that I’m messing them up … we have to meet with a DSP and Sr. on Monday … ok, more laundry brb
Ok, that took only 3 seconds. I’m going to get it next for emptying the dishwasher, but he will probably make lunch first. We lost the opt for subway. It’s ok. I don’t mind a sandwich. Shoot, I just asked him if we get chips and he says there aren’t any … I love when he has a plate for me with chips AND sandwich … feel like I’m sitting on top of the world. Like wooHOOO look at me FANCY stuff! Probably left over from the days that we worked as a volunteer in the soda fountain like thing in the hospital. We were candy stripers. People came in and they got both and the sandwich was cut and there were chips and a soda. AND there was ice cream stuff to make treats. Wow … what a job! For the record, while we were at that part of our life, we were reading Clara Barton, nurse, and Trixie Belden stories … I think that’s the name, but it seems strange now maybe I was wrong. Any way we did babysitting at the hospital too and we worked for a good while at the nurses station. We felt so important to put on our uniform, especially the striped nurse-like hat. *Sigh* for the life of a 10 year old.
Ok, that was a nice memory. We have always been in positions of helping others … it was part of us that was a girl scout from 2nd grade until 12th. Ok, ok … we really don’t want to go there. But it was what it was.
I think bunny is going to call me in for lunch soon … he’s so gosh darn lovable. He hovered a while cuz he’s having to adjust that a female is folding his underwear … and we told him something about being possessive or obsessive about getting to fold his stuff. Hehehe he let us be then and he went to feed the plants. I have to do SOMEthing nice for him, after all he does for us. We’ll talk more of the conversations we had with him after lunch though. Shoot, I just talk about it and then things happen, and then I go away, and then come back for the next paragraph.
Are you getting dizzy with this?
Hmm, the writing thing came up again too while we were in the bedroom. Whoops lunch is served brb!!
WooHoo, GREAT Lunch!!! We had regular sandwiches, but we got an extra half AND with a little box of raisons. See that’s what I mean … he’s so magical he see’s a plate as a template of love. He just amazes me. He’s using the washroom now, but then he is going to get the last load of clothes. Then he has to get the key for his tire, and then get it fixed, and then the library. He already brought home a movie in case I stay up tonight. I don’t know though because it might be after 10 pm when he gets home. I think last time we slept early and woke up and watched a movie with him. It was surreal being up at that time of the night, but we were with him so we felt safe. The movie was kinda funny though. It was like a documentary of some teachers, called “Chalk” or something. I am in the habit of watching whatever is in front of me though, so it didn’t matter – AND because we could still cuddle with sweet love. *Sigh* I’m not sure what we’re doing in the middle … maybe his task will take him a couple of hours, and then we’ll be into dinner I guess. Seems like there might be one or two more things that get squeezed in. I never really have much I want to be doing except being here at the computer and mostly writing. I think we’ll go back to the room for a bit after he leaves. I feel like I’m missing out on so much when I leave, but we got stuck in our brain that its ok … like it will be just our time to die when it happens … no hard feelings. Be harder if it were the boys, rich or Dr. Marvin, but we don’t want to labor there, moving on?
I think I must explain myself a lot. I think if I’m alive at say 65, then I should make a deal with myself to go back and read some of this earlier work. I guess then I actually started at 44. I could sell this part as being “middle-aged” hehehe
Oh oh … someone inside has set up a panic … they thought 50 we’re all going to die … but, that doesn’t have to be … shoot … I should have never brought up you know what. I have to be responsible. Ok, ok where else are we going – didn’t we have a few things not covered?
Well, we were talking about work and that bad thing happened again with the DSPs … one went – Theresa to Sr. Theresa to complain about me. I don’t know why because I forgot, but I think it has to do with discipline. I told her she was being hard on a client. I thought we were both talking, but she was upset and held it in so she could tell her boss … I don’t know the logic … I can see the DSPs using it as a tool to back me off. Nobody really wants to change or learn. She also might be thinking that I’m going to take it to Sr. and so like she has to get there first. It has to be discussed with Sr. my role … either I can make comments or not. Rich is suggesting not. He says to go in there give them the report, and then let sister discuss anything she wants. I think it kind of defeats the purpose of being a staff trainer, but that’s the disadvantage of them holding ransom – they will leave rather than change. I think Sr. has to deal with it, but it won’t happen. She doesn’t support the position, so its like just tell me where you want me to be. I really enjoy having my career dictated by DSPs that are not open to change. I’m not sure what will be different, but I know I represent difference. Sort of like that old term dissonance. I represent something that is not their norm, so they are going to want to get it back quickly to where they are at. I wonder how much that DSP trying to hide stuff. I also worry about the closed rooms that nobody can go in without disturbing the status quo. I think that’s damn dangerous, but its not my call. I think it will have to wait until we get another administrator. If that happens I would find out if she expected something more from the staff.
Ok, anyway that is about as much time as I want to think of it for now. It’s really not my call it’s sisters. If she wants me not to talk to them she just has to say it. I will be initially insulted and then I will sit back and think that’s just the way they are. Maybe … Rich has a meeting on Monday with another center. I think they are going to offer him a contract … it is interesting to think that they could want him to coordinate some of their program. And, it will be interesting to see if Sr. is going to handle this in a manner that is effective. I hate being told though to go in there and see what’s going on, and then be retracted cuz it upsets them.
One of the things that is happening is that Sr. is making herself a part of the staff training meetings. I don’t know if this has to do with the DSPs complaining already. I know she was in at the meeting on Thursday. She ran it like a meeting for the staff Friday once a month meetings. And, then she gave me 20 minutes to take a test. That’s the pre-test I think I talked about that before. Basically, I have to evaluate them. I didn’t take it home with me because I was tired of work on Friday. I noted though on the way out that someone had given Holly a copy of the test. I didn’t look carefully at any of them – skimmed two, but I didn’t figure out what to do with my responses. It will tie in with the next lesson. It will be a good thing to discuss. One of the DSPs Brandi just blurted out you didn’t teach us this. But, they should all know that for 8 years it’s been standard that clients don’t sit in the vans for more than an hour. It’s one thing from me, but then they have to say that sister has not mentioned it in all her training sessions – in consideration transportation comes up in each discussion. I don’t know that was kind of weak.
Ok, that’s just something I have to do before next Thursday and Sr. is going to want them sooner. She answered, but not all of hers was right too, but she went through it and kind of merged her answers with our answers so we came out under one front with nobody having wrong answers. That’s alright. Thinking of sister usually throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Me being the bathwater. Maybe this is a good thing that sister comes to the meetings and that we have a meeting with Theresa and her. I just gotta watch myself being defensive. I don’t want to be treated as Theresa’s equal … although people in general are equal. Sr. will have to decide if I should talk to them and what I can say. That’s pretty tough though … Basically, she will pen me in or not, but I think after the meeting I will ask for my own meeting with her. I’m going to push that I have a right to sit in that room and write notes. If they don’t or my opinions don’t get back to staff, that’s ok, but I think the clients have a right to someone knowing what is happening. Either I know what I’m doing with them or I don’t.
Sr. will ask for some kind of compromise, like take less notes. But, that’s not why I’m in there. I don’t think I’m there to take over the DSPs position, I’m there to evaluate the clients’ responses to “teaching.” *Sigh* I might be reading Sr. wrong though, she could be taking some part of supporting me. I know that she had a lot of problem with this teacher and she especially wanted me in her room. The staff sometime have to know that people are going to be evaluated. I’m not evaluating them directly, but if my boss asks me how its going, then I believe I have a right to tell her. They want to live in a bubble, but it cocoon like takes over where the clients are at. This knowledge of psychology is either going to get used or not. I don’t think I would leave St. Rose for the other center, and I’m not being asked, but the thought is there that another place might not be so restrictive and might want someone to be honest with what is happening to their clients.
Hmm, let me take a look
AHA! Found the zip drive, but then again found that when I pulled up a Words window to open the file, the file was already up, just shrunk. Reading at random now the first part, let me think.
“Completed typing approximately 61 words in 35 minutes (1.7 wpm) - 20 minutes after started was she was asked if she would like to switch gear and type a magazine recipe from a home "fix-up" magazine to which she stated, "I'm trying to find something." DSP suggested using the table of contents, a recipe was found and Rosetta stated, "Yep" to the question, "is this what you wanted?" It was recommended that Rosetta could show her saved work to her regular DSP, so she had to be reassured when asked to leave before she could save the material. Rosetta appeared confused, and tired, but stated, "Nothing is the matter," and she left the room as requested while allowing the DSP to save the material - low to moderate verbal prompting”
I just don’t see anything wrong with that. As far as an observation, I think that it is very good. I didn’t state anything other than what I saw. Something happened, then this, and then this. It’s not something that is anti-staff. Even the one that is being held in question with Theresa
“Non-responsive in staying alert, poor attention, being un-involved, picking at self, talking to peers, fiddling with personal items, playing with hair, etc. Asked to listen and give undivided attention - high prompts”
This was the sentence. And, this is what the DSP was seeing with the client … she is the one that reported the fiddling, hair, picking at self, etc. I didn’t report what the staff had done toward her.
Eh, gotta let it go … Rich is right … just put in writing what I see, tell them very little and only something that is asked, otherwise anything I find out of sorts, I’ll document and give it to sister to handle. Obviously they are going to feel threatened … I told her she would. I know this part well. Ok, shhh … we’ll be ok … we don’t have to feel threatened by them ganging up on us again where we’re left hanging dry by sister. Either I have a function or I don’t. I’d rather go through it then as next choice with Sr. Theresa. I will listen to her, but if I’m asked not to think I will say that is not possible. Hmm, that’s a cue … This is like an extra emotional thing in the old thought of my father telling me not to think as if my thinking was wrong. If I wasn’t allowed to think than that would be what would be wrong with me. Sometimes I feel like I loose a sense of value in who I am. When I go in to the room and I observe I think I’m being very real. I’m writing what is happening. I have to see it with my eyes. But, hopefully I’m a trained enough observer that I can report what I am seeing and hearing. I mean what’s wrong with making a statement “Intermitted nail biting as typing on the keyboard” if that is what I saw. Or “accepted help,” or “followed the instruction of”
Ok, shhhhhhh … let’s move on … what was the next topic?
Hmm, ok, we’re back to the weight loss. We talked to sweetie a little about it. He was calm and relaxed and talked matter of factly that he didn’t want anything that was dangerous for me and that there were three issues financial, psychological, shoot, forgot the third, oh yeah. We asked him. He said physical. Jeese, that’s a lot to be dealing with. But, we talked about being on line with the others in the chat room and going through a different kind of education in learning about something that’s so basically different from anything, we’d ever learned from. Hmm, maybe it’s a good idea that we were taking notes. Maybe that is part of the documentation that I can provide later down the line for insurance. Hey! I like that.
Good work.
Anyway, we were asking him to be more open to discussion even the part of him not liking things, because this was going to be something that happens to both of us.
He seems pretty much resigned to the point that I’m going to do whatever I do. He’s right there, but having him on board is always better … just like him with me when I bought the car … but it didn’t happen and I got “tooken.” I don’t want to blame my parts because of him. I was the one who helped by the car, it’s just that we didn’t know much about car dealerships and with people who weren’t being honest with me.
We trust everyone – including the doctor who is a surgeon and said that yep, she could do the surgery and that we’d be a good candidate. The only thing she was worrying about was the part she might open us up fully because of the trouble getting around the mesh inserted in there because of our hernia. That’s the sticking point, but it wasn’t so big it intimidated her out of it. I thought I was listening very closely, but I’m not so good at trying to remember what she said so that we could tell Rich what the concerns were. I know he’s going to have to go through it. It’s just something that is going to happen.
Hmm, I said that a couple of times. I don’t know what’s up with that. It’s funny during the week, we think so much less of it, because we’re busy with work stuff, but now given the leisure of time and being in our wonderful living room WITH lover duck … pswhoo it’s all pretty powerful. He says he’s doing paperwork, but to be honest, I see him watching the Michigan/Ohio game more… I’m the only one I hear typing. We might too, but we have the music on. I pushed it back a little to hear what he was hearing … hehehe I decided I was a pretty fast typer, but I make too many mistakes, that I’m eternally going back to correct typing errors after passing the mistake for a couple of letters. It’s kind of something that happens very fast. I do like that Word self corrects too … that’s pretty handy, unless I WANT to say, “typer” or “tooken” Hmpf! It’s extremely improbable that I go back to correct a paragraph … that’s like my still *SMILE*
Ok, I think I’ve held back long enough I’m going back to the room for a while, maybe I can try typing a little over here as we go … that would be like a safety for us.
For the record its 1:30 pm.
Hmm, ok now it’s about 20 minutes later and it seemed to take that long to get comfortably settled in room … they talk about food a lot and now they are talking about chili. I don’t usually do food talks so … it’s like sitting back and just watching for a bit. We started a file on 4 new people. Then the conversation turned to Thanksgiving. Ahh do you know people still give ((((hugs))))) woohooo!!
posted by Ann Marie @ 11/18/2007 07:32:00 AM
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