Hmm, kind of a summary up day and now let's do something more worthwhile?
Good morning. This is me. It’s now about 20 minutes into the day, or 10 to 8 am. I used the 40 minutes this morning available writing time to be soaking in the news and star stuff, but this morning, mostly news ;) caught up on the star stuff last night. Rich wasn’t due til late, so we took the opportunity after figuring out we were tired and we went to bed at about 7 pm. I guess this is what happens when we take our medicine early – or, on time, whichever way you look at it.Rich said this morning that he came home about 11 pm last night. I wouldn’t worry about that, except he was going out again late again tonight to play cards. I think a little of that happened last night also. We were going to meet him at home, but he called to say that Mike and some of his business friends were getting together.
Bob was included as well. Rich had gone up to see his son because he’d been to a meeting up north, so I think the cards were on his way home.
Come 6 am, we were willing to jump in the shower, because we know that we can jump in bed with him right after that. *Oh man* he melts me!
Ok, ok … should not be talking about that here though. We are wondering if … um yup, yup there she is! Right on schedule. I hear some of the other clients collecting out there as well. We have, of course, put on our headphones, because I don’t like living in other peoples’ space. I can do the music very well as long as there aren’t commercials or frequent interruptions. We’ve made a small change today in that we’ve got an XM station on called, “Easy as Saturday Morning.” We were getting to think the other channel pretty predictable.
As to news, we didn’t talk to Brandi on the way in … no particular reason, with the exception, we’re pretty sure that the little we say to her is going out to others.
I need to stop talking negatively about anyone and its seems particular that it’s usually about the same person, and that doesn’t make me feel good about myself. I got a lecture on my way out of the door this morning about not buying into the little things, but I did take down the pictures in the hall from Halloween. I know that Maria got a call, so she knew that we were in the hall (a few feet away from phone). Most likely that the call came from Brandi … it was an internal call.
I don’t think it mattered. I haven’t run into Sr. Margaret Mary in the last couple
of days, so I don’t know what is up with her. I left the note on her desk asking about the pictures. But, there wasn’t a response, unless she left something in my mailbox. I’m not so enthused about going up there for that though. We’ll have to let that one go too. I am going to need going to the washroom soon. I’m feeling more paranoid than not because of all the things that are said, but are not said to me directly.
Sue had come in on a scheduled meeting to meet to go over one of the clients goals.
We worked on that pretty hard with her. About the time she was ready to go she said something about the pictures – that she had heard, we explained the situation, and then we heard that they’d talked over me coming into the movie room to ask Sue for a meeting time. Both Sue and Maria had claimed that they had come into watch a movie with the Sister’s permission and the others had come in. Basically, I had found at about 1:30 pm 4 out of the 5 groups in the multi-purpose room watching the movie ET. Sister very specifically states that nothing should be changed when she’s gone and she rarely likes people to get together. That’s a long-standing thing, so having the four groups pulling their own new schedule was something that shouldn’t have been happening.
I felt stubbornly annoyed last night in that we were asking the questions and Sue was like almost begging, “Please don’t make a big deal of it.” We were like, umhumm.
I didn’t know what I was going to do, but the thing that holds me tightest is Sr.
Theresa saying that she wanted me to handle things. Not handling others, but handling me being around the obvious changes staff were going to make. But, because we had sent out those pictures, we were in the wrong too. I don’t know how to clear past that point. Basically, I had the idea of getting pictures out to people, but I knew that it would be an extra expense to the center because of the extra ink, paper, and then envelopes as well as my time in putting the project together. I told Sr. Margaret Mary I was doing it and asked her if she minded. She had said to go ahead, but then now I’m no different than the others – whichever Maria or Sue that had gone to her to get permission to see the movie. I had found too that Sister had begrudgingly told Sue she could watch the movie in her room, but then Sue said she didn’t have a DVD in the movie so they had to watch it in the other room.
I understand how much easier it is to watch a movie and hang out with peers in a dark, quite room, but it is different than what Sister expects of her agenda. I’ve pretty made up my mind not to say anything, unless asked. We’ll let one of them cave on it. And, if they don’t then I’m going with Rich’s best advise … let the little things go.
Unfortunately, it sets me up further against the staff. They had talked over Ann being mad at the pictures rearranged on the wall by an underling. All I had said, at the time was, “Why would she do that?” And, I said, “Hmm, I see.” It was in that irritated voice, so I don’t doubt what they passed on to be the truth. But, then it was again then against me about the video. I felt that Maria had two opportunities to put me down … both times … Sister Said. She’s using it as a trump card.
At this point … I don’t feel like I want to be talking to any of them, so I won’t … Brandy was into Candice’s room saying there were donuts in the staff room. And, as much as I like donuts, I don’t want to lend myself to the cause of them bringing in food between themselves when Sr. is gone. I didn’t have any yesterday either. I don’t want anything to do with anyone of them. But, I think this is being more generated by the hurt feelings. I have known for a while that I’m not on any inner circle. I talk somewhat to Brandi, but that has to stop too. We’ll have to see how the day and the rest of the week plays out. This is when I think to Rich. He doesn’t have to win any popularity contest with the staff. Both of us just have to concentrate on doing the jobs well. Right now … I’m feeling dirty with all the staff stuff. I don’t like the parts of them I see in me. And, as long as sister has given me the message “handle it.” That’s what we’re going to do. Pretty much that means that I have to concentrate on the day here. I’m going back to whatever I was doing yesterday. I have a meeting at noon. But, that is it. I’ve got 3 ½ hours to get something done.
I don’t think I got very far on J’s goal yesterday. I had been investing on what was supposed to be happening with his goal to get the computer and Internet. I got as far as the cards like Rich has are too expensive at this point. They are $60 approximately. That would have given Joel anywhere Internet access. But, as Rich pointed out, the only place he is going to have an Internet is really home or here, and here he can plug into our system. What would be good is for him to have a wireless connection through a router. At least I think that’s how it is done. The logistics of how to do that we are unsure of. If there is any fancy stuff, we have to make sure that someone in the house can fix it up. I don’t think that Comcast does it unless there are more than one computer getting hooked up. I know that Dell sells routers, and we would look for one from $40-100. But, then you get this box and we would need to figure out is it just hooking it in or are there other directions about how that happens. I’m thinking that we might want to contact someone from Best Buy.
Hmm, we got side-tracked. We were talking to Candice. I think that I probably talked too much. She was asking me something to with a client’s goals. And, then she asked straight-up about me taking down the pictures.
I’m a little confused here for a second. The music stopped, so I turned everything off and now we’re back up again WITH music. Candice and I were talking in general about the things that are going on around here. The conversation per the time away from AOL was 22 minutes. I told her about the pictures being taken down. I told her that Sr. Margaret Mary had told Maria to arrange the pictures, and it seemed that Maria had that on me as she could do something that bothered me and then be passing it on. It got passed on that I wasn’t happy about the groups meeting in the multipurpose and it had gotten passed down about the pictures. I knew that already, but to have Candice … I talked about from my perspective what had happened and how I was feeling.
She eventually came to say something about trying to stay neutral with staff and between Holly and us for butting heads. She said that I would say stuff about Holly and then Holly would say stuff about us. And, as much as Candice can state that she’s neutral. There is still the feeling that she enjoys being in a position of collecting information. In a sense, she is protecting her position, which is something that she had to learn. The more we can keep turning back to business the better … that goes for me and the others as well. Candice is the one who said we better go back to work though after interrupted by Brandi, and then again by Lupe.
I’m feeling vulnerable in having said so much. It was coming from our collective parts that feel something to be on the outside, and then not trusting what Candice was going to do with that information. She didn’t appear honest in where her sudden concern had come from with the pictures. But, this again is the distrustful part of me. Rich would say don’t give out extra information, because it will come back to you. I guess we’ll have to see what happens next. I would expect that before the end of the day, Brandi will be in … unless the information that Candice has now got will now go to serving the staff’s needs.
I think Maria is pretty much heading up stuff. I get that from old comments that Brandi made, but then just about 30 minutes ago, she had sent a note with a client to tell me to call her – which is a power play, and she was stating that she didn’t have the goals. But, we called her back and asked her if she had looked through the package of information and the goals had been attached to the back. She hadn’t. I told her to send someone back for the packet. I don’t think she would have done that except that she was focused on us … and wanted to feel as if she was in charge and in a disciplinary position over me. Oh Lordy, how much is true and how much conjecture. I believe that Sue was telling the truth over Maria about who had talked to Sr. Margaret Mary and gotten permission to hold the special group and who had come in and squatted.
Ok, we’re back to this isn’t helping anything. I need to go back to concentrating on work. I don’t need all the rest of this. I just have to keep my eyes open. I’m not going to panic. I also have to be aware that I’ve got the meeting coming up with Group I. I’m not sure where I am with that, but should do some planning. Let me check.
Ok, we’re back. I can’t say much work was done, but we’re here. We just finished cleaning up our office. Not all the way, but now I can see the bottom of my desks.
Things are still going around. Sr. Margaret Mary came in and sat for a bit. Most of it was on this extra stuff, but some of it was her fear that Sr. was too tired to do the job or she wouldn’t ask for vacation, etc. The final part on all the upper stuff was that she hadn’t told Maria to make everything into straight constrained lines – it was more that sister had told her just to follow the lines meaning the top of the paper. We asked her like so why was that necessary – she stated basically, she’s under sister’s rule of thumb and didn’t want to get blamed for the unevenness of paper *sigh* We asked her what difference does it make – the clients put it up and they did the best they could. She was like Holly said that you had done it. I told her I sat on a chair and handed them tape and three of the clients placed it up. She said if I had known that I wouldn’t have asked her. Then she finally got to the point that she should have done it herself, and she couldn’t answer why if it were my project she couldn’t have come to me. I could have retaught the clients on the “proper” hanging of pictures. She couldn’t answer that, because she didn’t know clients did it. So, ok … that then kept going in circles.
The other funny thing is that she said that nobody asked her about the movie yesterday – although Maria asked her about it and Sue said she asked her for it.
Sister said … it just stays in the office and that all was over – we talked about that kind of stuff in general happening with women. I talked of my paranoia of the staff. So, we were fine with that, but then Maria just came in and flashed something in my face and stated that see it says we could this … It happened too fast and I couldn’t even recognize the papers she was showing me … and she said something about telling Sr. Theresa, and I said is that what you think, but by then she was running out of the room. Like a hurricane.
That doesn’t bother me so much … I’m glad to have talked to Sr. Margaret Mary. She is right, we can stop it right here. Fair?
Hmm, not sure what happened next. It’s 2 pm. I think the change came in doing a group. We did group 1 and talked more about neighbors and neighborhoods. I had found the map before, not sure if you saw it … just a simple map. See?! The red star in the middle is St. Rose Center. And the grey block to the lower left is the airport and right above that – the orange square is the race track. And you can see our main two highways on this side of town, and a little of the Chicago River and Lake Michigan. We also have many parks and the University of Chicago. In all we impressed that it was a pretty impressive neighborhood.
Then we went back to the range of touch, talk, and trust correlating to a neighbor, like no more physical contact except to shake hands, and such – polite, but not personal.
I gave them each a copy of the map to trace, look at and draw. I think that you need to manipulate it somehow to become more real. They really did seem to like the maps. They went back to their room and people from the Leadership group are there.
R. said – well, WE are going to finish the yellow circle too!?? Hehehe I was happy that the group had made an impression. She’s right … they still have this part coming up. She didn’t seem to like that others would have this “cool thing” and not her.
There was one more part. One member of the group who had been in today was able to bring up when we were talking of casual news that a Governor was going to prison today. Took me a second to realize she was talking about REAL news and I said, “YES! Governor Ryan” and then we told the group about his corruption charges and spending other peoples’ money. So after the meeting when I opened the email there was a Chicago Trib picture and short story, so I printed it out for the observant one. She was a definite contribution to my day.
Ahh, that was nice. A DSP – Cathy had come in and she wanted just to bring to my attention that one of the clients was changing. She said she was becoming more interactive – almost more independent in her thinking, decision making, and behaviors. I got a little excited. Like WOW! Then we talked about one my other client in the room becoming more sedate. Well, at least 1 of 2’s making positive change. She is thinking that it might have been the addition of a more active peer in the room. She seems to be initiating that kind of movement, but some of the movements are a little more belligerent hehehe – yup yup that’s the problem of independence … it’s a little harder to be leading them benignly wherever you want them to be. It’s ok, keeps the center honest. We wouldn’t be here if they weren’t.
It’s funny, but Sr. Margaret Mary had talked of almost having her sister here. Her sister has the diagnosis of MR too. She made a statement that she might like to do more than coloring. We were like – more? We have computers! She said though that her sister wasn’t that advanced and the place she is at doesn’t have computers for the clients. I thought shoot! But, on the other hand I’m excited that we can offer it here.
I’m not sure if I wrote about it yesterday, but one of my clients came in with new goals. The goals real complex. But, its cool, because it will be so worthy to this client. Here wait a sec … I’m pretty sure I haven’t shown you this yet.
Ahh. … here it is …
CD Goals
#1: Call Ms. Ann to see if the computer is available
#2: Get the timer and set it for 15 minutes
#3: Collect notebook and go to Ms. Ann's office (bring chair to computer)
#4: Put the headphones on
#5: Go to start
#6: Click all programs
#7: Click on accessories
#8: Slide over to Notepad - click (Song titles will be collected here)
#9: Go to start
#10: Click on "e" Internet Explorer
#11: Click "yes" on Security Information box
#12: In address bar - type: lyrics.com
#13: Scroll down to the #1 song in the Top 10 Songs
#14: Click link on top song
#15: Click the link for the song title
#16: Click "File" then "print"
#17: Under general print options, click the "print" button
#18: Punch holes in sheet and place it in alphabetical order in Lyric folder
#19: Type in Notepad Title of Song (First letter Capitalized)
#20: Cut and paste so that song title is in alphabetical order
#21: Click "File" and then "Save As"
#22: Type name and date - Click save
#23: If time allows, repeat steps #13-21, except choose #2 song and on #20 press "File" "Save"
#24: If time allows, repeat steps #13-21, except choose #3 song and on #20 press "File" "Save"
#25: If timer rings stop work, stop the timer, and return to Ms. Theresa's room
#26: If work is complete before timer rings, stop the timer, and return to Ms. Theresa's room
#27: Ms. Theresa will record on the goal data sheets the step # and the time the clock was stopped.
If the song lyric has to be cut and paste, do it to a new Notepad document - then print
To find the 2nd or 3rd song hit green arrow for "back"
Close down screens when complete
If title is already in collection search down the list to the next "Top song"
Close advertisement windows by checking red "X" button.
It is ok to listen to the song as work is being completed for that song
Copy songs to a clean Word Pad document if you have to add a title, but don't save
this document
Ok, back. That was it … this was the directions to get everything covered from the top to the bottom so that this client could go to my computer, find the Internet, and then find music, listen to music, and then copy the words to that song to her folder. She’s only got 15 minutes every two days to be doing the project. It’s pretty exciting by this time, because she is so excited about it and so quick. Some of the lower groups have been hearing about the Internet, but we’re not there in getting it for them. That’s got to be done if any of these guys are going to get fully into computers. I know this client lives for music, but now we’re making it so she can hear hit songs, on the computer that she doesn’t have yet. It’s a very cool goal. When their faces lite up you just know you’ve made a difference to someone’s life and you gotta run with it.
Otherwise though it’s a nice quiet afternoon. Holly and Candice went to Ray Graham training center for some kind of informational meetings I don’t know if they are working directly on intake, but I’m glad that the other two went and I wasn’t involved. Sister isn’t sending me anywhere outside the building, though Spring Fling will be right around the corner. That’s at a banquet facility and she’ll be bringing the whole group to a banquet hall for Thanksgiving. I think that’s actually coming up soon … not sure if next week or the week after. It’s always nice to go out with the group all dressed up. And, they have a big dance floor … so music comes with us and they have a great time.
I’m not so sure after this last fiasco. Ahh, that reminded me that I had one thing I had on the list to be doing. One of the girls asked a special favor of getting a picture of her favorite teacher who is going to be gone on Pregnancy Leave for quite a while. I just printed it out … we’ll put it in Sue’s mail box on the way out.
Hmm, pretty thirsty … maybe I’ll go on up that direction now and get a can of pop.
Mmm that be good. Just an hour to go now.
Ahh, back. Gave the picture to Sue. She understood it right away. She seemed a bit lonely, because Holly and Candice had gone to the meeting. She’s up there all on her own and has chosen not to answer the phone. She said that Sister usually gets the phone, so we are assumuning that that is a job of Sr. Margaret Mary. I won’t pick up the phone either. The pop is warm … that’s a little problem though, right?
Thinking back to the talk with Sr. Margaret Mary. She was talking about no one to take Sr. Theresa, or that no one wants to come down here because of gang stuff.
Last week someone a mother with two kids and pregnant was out for Halloween and she got “accidently” shot in the head. Whose to say what happens with that kind of stuff. All these families belong to strong Catholic churches, but still there is no control over some of these kids. They saved her baby. That was nice, but what kind of memory for those kids. Sheesh.
There was some more bad news up there. Sue passed on the news that is probably very old to the rest of the bunch, but Imelda will have bedrest now until her diabetes can be controlled and her high blood pressure. She is about half way out and had a complicated birth last time, now there is another pregnancy. Her husband was just deported though back in Mexico. She doesn’t want to go there, so they are planning on being separate the 6 years until he can come back legally. It must be like serving a time. There was problems here too, because he was illegal he couldn’t get a regular job on a good pay. I guess that Imelda is going to live back with her mother, who can help her raise the kids. I don’t know if Imelda can visit her husband in Mexico. It be a terrible thing to go through. The way sister was talking, she was suggesting that Imelda should stay home and raise the two kids.
That seems to be a good point, but she may feel she can get more from working than from public aid, though now with two kids she will get more support.
This is a pretty terrible thing. Sue knew though what that picture for Karren was for. She lives and breathes for this staff. I don’t want to encourage any negative stuff, but it was pretty sudden that she is learning that Imelda is going and she’s scared because she knows Imelda is going to be in the hospital. Let’s say a couple of God Blesses! We’re not close, but I would be someone that was concerned for an associate. No, we’re not all friends here. Maybe that is something to keep in mind with Maria. She seems to be needing extra attention this week. Sister is right that I don’t have to get involved. Sister Rosemary laughed, chuckled and worried with me over the interpretations of what was going on, but then more seriously on the way out the door, she asked me to see the larger picture. I think that’s good advice, even though the time I’m spending now is on the writing, I have a sense of wanting to get out of the petty stuff, to get maybe more through it than get rid of it, but basically, move past what happens on the shallow day to day stuff, and take on a more worldly perspective.
I haven’t done anything with the work for being in the rooms, but today when Cathy was in we took it out to explain things … basically, my excitement for learning about the behaviors and thoughts of the clients. In general, I want to help them progress like St. Rose having computers is pretty progressive.
Hmm, Sue just called to say it is 3:30 pm and she is leaving … Holly may have intended to come back into the building, but if Sr. Margaret Mary isn’t up front, I’m not going up front to let her in. I figure she’ll have her car keys and can just go home. She knew that Sue would be leaving by 3:30 pm.. Ahh … see more little stuff.
Ok, going further past that all now …
There is the good stuff. Rich called during the interim too to say that he would meet me for dinner at 4:30 pm. That’s now at least 3-3 days that I’ve left pretty early to catch him. It’s worth it though, please don’t take this as a grumble. I think I’m going to take that stuff with me – and work … Ok, I think I did that right. I exported about 130 files to the E drive. I saved it under this year, reports. That should do the trick. I would like to get that done … it would make me real happy going into the next week. Maybe by the weekend I could get a copy of the Chronological notes from the last two weeks. I’d like to see how that all figures in. I also will have to figure out what we’re doing with the staff training meeting tomorrow afternoon. I would like to add a piece of this and prepare them for being in their rooms. Maybe I could use that information for the last 1/3 of the session. I am still going to want to have some carry over about getting anything up front taken care of – maybe someone will have enough courage to tell me what’s ticking them off.
My intent though is to keep it as business and as formal as I have to. I want to keep us productive. I will need a short segment from the state, and then maybe I can do what? Hmm, just thinking that we could probably make a copy of the 2 ½ page conclusion page, unless I completed some more of it today when Rich goes out. I still need to form answers to some of the big pictures. As it is now, I’m doing it by gut … this just feels right. They are (as staff) going to want to know why I am in their space and they are going to want to know if I will be judgemental of them.
For sure, I will not be like other staff discussing odd tidbits. I will be very work orientated. We’ll still see what sister thinks of how much time I can spend in there, and if I can jump around time slots – coming in unannounced. And, I will want to know if at times, I can pull out small groups, or a big group within the room to test. I still haven’t really got testing theory down. I will want to know how and what the client can do rather than just allowing him to feel an experience.
And, if I don’t see any form of learning, I will want to go back to Sister and share with her my concerns. But, I don’t want to go in there threatening the DSPs.
Ok, close enough to the end of the day that I should probably be closing up. Anything else? I need to post this, and then grab the chronological notes … ok, got my stuff pulled together, just need to gather coat. After I turn off the music and small light … I just want to be down the hall and out. Ok, Pshwoo!
posted by Ann Marie @ 11/07/2007 03:54:00 PM
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