Pretty Spacy ...
Good morning … just the regular me here … thinking there isn’t too much time to write this morning … only about 30 minutes. We’ve been over at V’s place having coffee … nice digs!
Last night was a Dr. M. appointment and we’ve gone past the first rung in trying to remember what happened. Pretty much just younger parts and the last was the only to cry for about 5 minutes. I’m not sure what to think of the session. There was so much regression with little to no ability to track conversations. It is easier to see what they are seeing than to hear them. For example, one part was looking at the carpet in front of us, another part took interested in a “jungle” her vision of three plants in the office, another part held our head down subserviently and the last part was holding onto the couch. She didn’t appear to want to let go. I know they were talking to him, but I don’t know at all what they were talking about. I have a sense of it being abstract.
Having trouble here because something in our minds trying to close down
Taking the picture helped break the “bad” concentration feeling trying to over power us. It usually comes as a warning for thinking about stuff other parts trying to control. I’ll lighten up … not sure if it isn’t too late feeling tired and cold suddenly. Ok, we can do this let me heat up the coffee again … maybe a blanket.
I remember the part where he walked us to the elevator. He moved some yellow tape across the doors, we were in the corner and scooted out fast when it stopped. We found ourselves locked in the bathroom. Not sure how long we were there. Remember thinking there were too many loud noises outside the door. Couldn’t move. I remember now something happened during the session and we couldn’t move there either and something about listening to sounds.
Shoot … closed down again for a few moments. Like going to a daydream, but you can’t figure out consciously what your mind was experiencing. Need to stretch shake it off … Guess we’re not going there this morning. Have smoke. Sip coffee. Look around, check email.
I don’t know where I was … Ahh Dr. M. I don’t think he’s a safe person yet. We did go to the appointment though … that’s important. Ack strong powers against thinking of him. Isn’t there something we could do that is safe? Damn keep shutting down. I have to think of other stuff if I’m to maintain consciousness. Nothing else seems to be as important though. Maybe if I sit here and just listen for a bit. Hear the traffic from distant highway, a few birds, the whirring of the computer, the sounds of the keys being pressed down … again that heaviness is on top of us. Try to shake it off. Damn … Just a few minutes left, but haven’t said anything relevant.
Double damn keep getting knocked out … startled to awareness thinking I dropped a cigarette that turned out to be in the ashtray. If I would have fallen it be a nose dive into my coffee.
Maybe I should look at that shower about now. Sorry, not much to read here today
posted by Ann Marie @ 4/28/2006 06:26:00 AM
Comments: 2
