Not just more than a few thoughts
Good morning … this is me. We’ve only got about a half hour left before we need to leave for work, but maybe we could continue later. We’ve just taken a while to get up and organized for the day. Not sure how far we’ll go because we’re a bit disorientated. Sometimes that happens and then all you get is yadda, yadda yadda.We’re hoping for some communication from real estate – builders – mortgage people today. I didn’t get a response from Rich as to him looking at the Montgomery home.
I don’t know if he’s going to be so against the idea that he cuts me out entirely.
I so much like the place … Dr. Marvin agreed too. I had him look at my facebook set of pictures and comments. I don’t think he had a lot of time to go over the verbal part, but the first thing he picked up on was how nice the balcony was. I’m pretty sure that’s the biggest added bonus to the place.
Everything else is so nice too though. It’s so incredibly nice I don’t know how to stifle my energy and excitement. There’s so many things to get past with Rich though including distance, cost, and two levels. But, it’s SUCH a great deal.
I think that the person I like so much at the Bolingbrook place knows that we are looking for the one at Montgomery. I don’t know what to say about that. Maybe she feels a bit used and abused in that we continued to keep looking, but its so much more for the money – it’s just impossible not to look at it.
We had a very good time over at Bob’s last night though we didn’t talk too much about the house. It was a nice casual conversation – not sure if I could remember what exactly we talked about … we did say some things more personal like how Rich and us moved into our more personal relationship and somehow I got to the story of going through shock treatment. That was a hard thing to say. We talked a little about relationships in general like about his and Marcia’s and then of course like Rich and us. It was a very relaxing night. I had the impression that both of us appreciated our contacts. I said something about our partners all being too busy or out of commission for us.
Bob is such a gentleman he’s a pleasure to be with. I don’t know how Rich is doing with Bob and us having more contact in his absence. I don’t know if there will be repercussions with that. I hope he’s ok and secure enough to know that nothing would ever happen and that both Bob and us love the pieces out of him … even though he’s got peculiarities. Heaven knows he’s put up with a lot of our stuff! I had the impression though that Bob really appreciated the company … he said something about not enjoying to be eating on his own. I really respect him and treasure that he’s such a good friend to our fuzzy bunny.
We’ve only got a little bit of time left before Rich gets home … you could imagine by now we’re so looking forward to him being here. We’re a little nervous, because we don’t want him to shoot down our housing ideas, but we’re trying to be optimistic. As mentioned previously we have some business to go through today.
We’re going to bring some papers home to scan and then email to the mortgage person. We’ll just have to wait and see what can be done and then present that as a package to Rich. I don’t know what it would take to get him to see the dream that I am. I understand that it’s a lot of responsibility.
We talked a little about it to Bob, but I’m not recalling any particulars. But basically we’re looking at what we could agree to and being able to build on a dream. It was a lot easier to talk to Bob as it came to relationship ideas. He could see more toward the long term situation. I think if he could get married again that he would … I don’t see that happening with Rich. It’s just that we don’t seem to be planning any kind of a future together in that we aren’t building dreams. It’s like he’s satisfied with an apartment and fishing lifestyle and not having to push that I might have other dreams of being more than just a invisible couple. I think this is something long standing in our relationship. I feel sometimes as if he takes me for granite and that we don’t have to be building on my needs too.
I don’t know maybe my needs are unrealistic, but again … we should at least be able to talk about having a future or not. I know that Rich wants me to be in his life and I think its forever, just not sure that he’s willing to step out of the box for me. It seems unfair that we are living what he’s comfortable with, but that anything from my direction would be unavailable. I don’t know maybe we’re spinning our wheels again. Just I don’t see much of a future as to any of my dreams. I don’t know what he expects or anything toward that direction. I look at things like how long it took him to move in with me and that even that wouldn’t have happened without his wife having found us out. Things like not meeting Chris though we live so close and that that situation has continued for a couple of years. I think unless the situation gets pushed through a bit that it would ever happen.
I don’t know … this is about when we get so frustrated we can’t even think straight about it. Probably best to move on with our morning and come back to this later. K?
posted by Ann Marie @ 2/22/2010 06:57:00 AM
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