Here we are back to Monday
Good morning. This is me. We’re back to the writing, but it’s already about 9 am.We had a bit of a rocky start as to waking up the morning. First thing was actually last night. We were still trying to wake ourselves up from a funk and then we went to bed early enough to be massaging Rich, but then we fell asleep and didn’t get our special encounter. He’d been saving up I think for a couple of days so we could have a special night on Valentine’s right before he left and then we didn’t get to it. I feel terrible about that, but we’ll get into explaining more in just a bit.
This morning we got up about 3:30 am and tried to stay up, but we fell back asleep after making coffee. Rich’s alarm went off about 4 am and then we snuggled for about 10 minutes before he had to get up for his shower. This is the big day where he needed to take off for his fishy week. I guess I fell asleep again on his bed waiting for him. I got up in enough time that he was putting hand lotion on my feet. I know that doesn’t sound romantic does it? But, when it is your feet its pretty special nonetheless.
After that we got his coffee ready and then met up in the living room after he tucked some last moment stuff away. He’d put things to go out on the kitchen table and then brought them outside. I was having a hard time not feeling sorry for myself that he was going, but we tried to pull ourselves together so he wouldn’t feel bad about leaving me on my own. We talked and snuggled and did some mushy thinking – expressing.
But, sure enough – at 5 am … he was heading out the door and suggesting I open it for him and give him a good for the road smooch. *sigh* he’s such a love bunny.
Then I promptly fell asleep again. When I got up I took my medicine – it was about 8-8:30 am. Then I did some FB things and posted my entry from yesterday and I then read over again what we’d written and looked at the pictures we had posted and just had thoughts. Finally, I started here again and now here I am – caught up!
There was some stuff though that happened yesterday. Pretty much the quick version story is that we were on our way to his Mom’s and about half way there so a half hour out … and we brought up that we’d spent money again … he had said something that led us to be saying that. We had been conscientiously trying to avoid the subject, but we knew that he’d check our bank account and that we should say something first. He soon asked how much and we said a couple hundred of dollars.
And, then that’s where he pretty blew-up.
It was pretty bad. We didn’t try to defend ourselves. I was thinking that we are pretty hopeless. It didn’t matter to him anyway as to why we spent money just that we had. He got angry enough to threaten not trying to help us anymore and where he’d let us say a few things about the house before, he was now saying that he wouldn’t talk to us about it at all because we couldn’t save money wisely. When he gets mad he gets pretty mad.
It didn’t help that we’d fell out. I think he’d rather have us argue our points, but we’ve found in the past that we can’t do that and make the situation better. We just melted down and we found ourselves in a personality that is more used to being yelled at. Toward getting to his mothers he was more like that we had to come out of this space because he didn’t want to upset his folks. We tried too, but he was too strong and we were too weak. We had to work on looking up, but by then someone had told him we weren’t ever going to be happy again. But, then he looked at this as a punishment we were putting on him. The talking with his Mom and Bud before dinner and through dinner we tried to make ok, but we were still being quiet in general. Bud soon after us getting there had tapped on our arm and said something about lighting up and that we were thinking too much into our own thoughts. I really tried to pay attention – but again it was hard to look up at people’s faces.
We tried to listen to the stories, but found ourselves often dazing. There was a few times we tried to talk, but usually just a sentence or two hoping that someone else would pick up the basic part of the story we were alluding to.
I was doing very badly in comparison. Usually, the stories don’t involve me and we’re like confirmation to the others as to listening to the exploits being remembered anywhere from before Rich was born to present. I’m rarely asked about my own situation so I rarely volunteer anything about myself or my kids. For most practical purposes it’s like I don’t have any and I’m like a blank slate.
I’m sure some of that is my own fault if I stressed that conversation more maybe they’d have more to entertain it, but I don’t feel they are particularly interested because when I have brought the boys up – particularly Thom in Japan they usually cut into my sentences and we all don’t get back.
Bud did his fair amount of jumping on Mom and there was nothing to do about it.
This time I wasn’t strong enough to take Bud on in deflecting his meaner statements. I know that as they were occurring I would either watch his mom sympathetically, or turn my head down in embarrassment over the situation. I don’t understand why Bud has to be so critical it seems he’s waiting for the opportunity to control her … she was fairly good at deflecting his comments. She’d basically look away and switch conversations if necessary, but this time she didn’t feed into his arguments just took a basic ok, anyway stance. I was happy she was handling it as well as she could. But, I still feel bad for her for having to go through it.
I think though when I do stuff wrong Rich comes down on me too. I hope that by the time we get their age that we’re not battling through Rich’s take on us as Bud is mom. It’s a very horrible thing for her to go through or for anyone to watch. I hate it. I didn’t have personalities available last night to help her out. I don’t know really what Rich thinks of all that … well at least last night. I think in general he tries to think it isn’t happening so he doesn’t have to worry about what Bud is doing to his Mom. Normally, I think he thinks that Buds just trying to watch out for her. But, I get frustrated he isn’t seeing the verbal abuse. I think it might be – though not excusing – some of the reason that she drinks. It be a very depressing situation to be in without thought of getting out until one dies. I’ve heard her talk about wanting to be dead and just get so frustrated with Rich not being able to understand how she is feeling.
I know Mom gets angry, but usually under some injustice for someone she loves – like when defending Rich around his ex-wife. She’s not naturally mean spirited. She’s reflective and sweet.
Yes, and she drinks. Still feel bad for her.
On the car ride home we hung in there though didn’t say much until we were getting closer to where we were less than a few miles from our house that we want. We asked Rich if we couldn’t just drive by, but he said that he’d rather spend time at home with me. I remember feeling very strong in the thoughts that this isn’t my home.
It’s an apartment we rent. And, I remember having that thought as Rich was unlocking the door after getting back. I refuse mentally to think of this as my home. I just couldn’t handle the thought I have to live and die here.
In-between him saying no and getting back, we just turned a bit and slept through it. When I got home we put on our pajamas went to the washroom and then just went over to our couch. We didn’t have it in us to be at the computer or work table.
But, then Rich came over on the couch and sat next to us. He suggested that he give me a massage, but we refused. We weren’t angry so much as just depressed. After he turned on a show – he was watching the movie dragnet, we closed our eyes. After a while his phone rang and he got up to answer it – I think it was Bob. When he came back in the room we were up enough to watch TV with our eyes open, but we were feeling pretty miserable.
After a while, he tried to take our hand and we tolerated it, but at one point stopped him from massaging it. Basically, if he was going to have our hand he’d have to do it less aggressively. I know somewhere that it was to be loving, but all the movement felt like it was hurting us more. We eventually between us and without word came to a medium agreement in hand holding as to as far as those things go.
Then there was the part of us both going to bed. I think I explained that above.
It wasn’t a good night for romance. We were quiet, hurt, tired and depressed.
Nothing he could say that was going to change that situation.
Somewhere in-between all that was that he was going to be going. He’d looked forward to this for so long that we couldn’t blame him for his excitement to be going. I would like to think more for the reason of going where he wanted to go and doing something he wanted to do rather than running away from us, but I’m sure there’s some of that too. Sometimes guys have to be with guys who are less emotional than females. I don’t blame him for this. We were terrible to be around. I tried to change it knowing this was going to be my last time with him for awhile, but the result was that it just made us more helpless and shy about him.
I don’t know … we’re going to need figuring out what to do now about that. At least we have to compartmentalize where all that was going. There’s no reason to sulk over it, but we are going to need really working hard to avoid those feelings which come more easily to us. I’d like to think of him being away is really a bit of vacation for us too. We’ll still have to work, but at least we can do and think as we will with little interference. Sometimes that kind of thing is important. I know that he will most likely call and check up on us periodically – especially before going to bed. He made sure that our phone was plugged in. We’re terrible with that kind of thing and it doesn’t seem to make it better that sometimes we just can’t care about talking to people.
Back … took a few moments to catch up on some email. I got another set of houses to
look at from an on-line realtor. The houses were pretty nice and in the ball park – and all on places that were of no maintenance. One actually was the Bolingbrook address that we’ve been looking at for our Denali place.
Oh Lordy … Just checked out another community … been floating over there for over an hour. There is a place close to the Oswego place … about one hour and 4 minutes from work. I know stretching aren’t we, but for 6,000 starting price less we can get a third car garage … a formal living room and dining room – plus the living room is two stories and has above it an open loft – along with 3 regular bedrooms and a master and an extra half bath … AND this is done without losing the first floor study or kitchen, eating area & family combination that I love. PLUS it’s another Ryland, who by this time I trust. You are getting a hell of a lot more
Ok, we’re cooled down here a bit. We just got a call from luver lips! Hehehe nothing too personal … he’s in the car with Ron. He wanted the weather conditions for several different cities. And, then he said if I wanted to I could look up general fishing conditions for Lay Lake. I found a real good one from a fisherman who put a report at Anglerweb.com
This is what it said:
Lay Lake is a 12,000-acre reservoir located thirty-five minutes south of Birmingham off I-65 and fifteen miles south of Columbiana in east-central Alabama. Lay Lake borders St. Clair, Talladega, Shelby, Coosa, and Chilton Counties. The primary uses for this reservoir are hydroelectric generation and recreation. Lay Lake is popular for tournament fishing and boating recreation. There are seven public access areas with bank and boat access to the tailwaters. Lay Lake is best known for its spotted and largemouth bass fishing. There is a good abundance of largemouth bass up to 18 inches and with moderate numbers of larger bass. There is a very good abundance of spotted bass up to 18 inches with moderate numbers of larger fish. Crappie, 9- to 12-inches are moderately abundant and are found throughout the lake associated with woody cover and weed beds. In 1993 a 9-inch minimum length limit was implemented on crappie to help protect younger fish. Anglers have supported this length limit overwhelmingly. Bream fishing is also very popular in Lay Lake. Bream offer a good summer fishery in creeks with woody cover and around weed beds. The best fishing for largemouth bass, crappie, and bream occurs in creeks and shallow water sloughs. A high quality largemouth and spotted bass fishery exists at Lay Lake Reservoir.
Anglers targeting spotted bass should fish riverine portions of the lake. The tailwater fishery below Logan Martin Dam is excellent for hybrid striped bass and catfish. Striped bass are also present. The tailwater area is also popular with anglers who enjoy fishing for largemouth and spotted bass when shad are running along the banks. This is an extremely high use fishery, which is very popular with local anglers.
02/10/2010 12:21 PM Submitted By: Reed Montgomery / Reeds Guide Service
2010 BASSMASTER CLASSIC / LAY LAKE By Reed Montgomery / Reeds Guide Service Website: www.fishingalabama.com Impounded 1914
Lake level; Full pool
Water Temperature; Mid-to-upper 40's
Water Clarity: Upper Lake / Muddy Lower Lake / Stained from mid lake, to clear conditions near Lay lake dam
There are 51 of the world's best bass anglers all gearing up for this years 2010 Bassmaster Classic, to be held all next week (starting with a practice period on Monday, February 15), on Alabama's Coosa River Impoundment, Lay lake. The actual 3 day competition is from Februay 19 - 21. Although many of these 2010 Bassmaster Classic contenders have competed in past Lay lake Classics some of these would-be heros are still not looking forward to this year's Bassmaster Classic... now following some brutal, record breaking cold fronts here in Alabama.
Cold Fronts - that have been taking place consistantly since the beginning of the New Year! [Early January showed lows in the teens for almost a week!]
WATER TEMPS - 47 Degrees Water temperature plays a huge role in whether or not these pros will even catch a bass! With water temps constantly holding in the mid-to-upper 40's, not rising much since February first, not much has changed.
These Coosa River spotted bass and Lay lake's largemouth bass are still in that late winter frame of mind. Not a pre-spawn warming up situation, like many of these pros were hoping for. With only one week of weather prior to this major 2010 Bassmaster Classic taking place, all of these 51 Classic contenders are hoping for some major weather changes...for the better. All 51, I'm sure, are very thankful it is not starting this week!
THIS WEEK'S WEATHER IN ALABAMA The week long forecast starting on Thursday, February 11 / calls for; Highs in the mid-to-upper 40's, and Lows in the mid-to-upper 20's!
Rain or a slight chance of snow this Friday, February 12. Up until next Tuesday, February 16 it will still be very cold throughout all of Alabama. But there is hope in sight! Next Wednesday, February 17 (two days prior to the start of the 2010 Bassmaster Classic) the weatherman is saying it will be sunny and in the upper 50's!
Is this going to be to little, to late? Will Lay lake's bass suddenly "turn on" like when they did when Alabama's Boyd Duckett won it fishing shallow grass in very similar conditions? We will just have to wait and see!
If Lay lake's water temperatures suddenly rise, like say, anywhere from 5-10 degrees, it can suddenly influence some otherwise "very sluggish bass" to start feeding and getting into that first move for an early, spring time pre-spawning condition. Lets hope so, for the 2010 Bassmaster Classic contenders sake!
CLASSIC LURES AND TECHNIQUES Lures like jig combos, Texas-Rigged and Carolina-Rigged soft plastics, jigging spoons and fishing with small, shaky head plastics will be a major factor in this year's 2010 Bassmaster Classic. Even crankbaits, spinnerbaits, rattling lipless lures, both soft bodied and hard bodied swim baits and suspending jerkbaits -- lures usually assoiciated with more active warm water bass -- will fool some key bites in this year's Bassmaster Classic. Techniques will be many! Flipping, pitchin', swimming, or just bottom dragging such lures as jig combos could be just one of the major Classic winning techniques! Slow finesse fishing with miniscule lures on the lake's deep bottom, may pay off for the Classic contender that employs a whole lot of patience! *
NOTE - I still have a few days open for fishing with Reeds Guide Service, for next week's Classic week, if interested!
Thanks, See you at this year's 2010 Lay lake Bassmaster Classic! Good Fishin' Reed Montgomery / Owner of Reeds Guide Service Phone (205) 663-1504 E-mail;
alabassgyd@aol.com Website; www.fishingalabama.com
I was real happy to have found this guy so I forwarded the information to Rich and then I read it to him and then I called Reed and found out that he’s available on Tuesday, Friday and Sunday all day for 2 guys for $300 a day. WooHOO… Rich didn’t answer his phone, but I put the information on his message taker. I don’t know if he is going to want to spend another $300 because things are tight, but he doesn’t want to go all the way to Alabama and not catch any fish. I really hope he does take it up because then his luck will be better and I’ll feel like I did something important for him. WooHOO!!!
I did think that Reed wrote a good report. He sure did have an Alabama accent! I had suggested loosely, that he call the guys, but then he said I should give the guys his number … that was pretty smart in a guy way … a girl will just want to get something accomplished where a guy will sit there and ponder and consider his ego.
*sigh*
So there … that is done. Now if Rich wants to assure himself of better fishing – he knows he can put out a few dollars and then he can get the guy. Just feeling ever so pleased with my selves. The guy wrote a good article – and it was timely and published somewhere good enough that I could find it. Ok, well we’re pretty good at finding stuff, but that’s beside the point. I can’t remember whether Ron is one of the guys that uses guides or not. It’s usually something Rich likes when he’s up in Canada. Could be pretty neat – he would have the guy for a whole DAY! Wow that seems like a lot. If they took him tomorrow he could introduce them to the lake, and then if they had him Friday they could be out looking amongst the pro’s and then they could finish him up on Sunday though I’m thinking that’s the least likely day because who wants to wait til the last fishing day to assure they catch fishes!
I think tomorrow would be perfect for strategizing before the weather is at its best. It seems like on Wednesday on the fishing should be better. I like to think that my guy is connected! Especially since it will only cost him $150 due to the other part covered by Ron.
It was really funny talking to Rich on the phone. I knew very well that Ron was in the car, but the important part was that I was connected to my bunny love. It wasn’t like he’d disappeared off the edge of the world like I’d been feeling before. He’s a good Rich bunny. Ok, you shhhh … that’s enough of that …
Darling you send me you send me darling you send me honest you do honest you honest you. You thrill me I know that you you you thrill me darling you you you thrill me honest you do.
At first I thought it was infatuation the mood has lasted so long now I find myself wanting to marry and take you home. You send me I know you send me I know you send me honest you do.
Whoa whenever I’m with you I know I know when I’m with you honest you do honest you I know I know I know when you hold me whenever you kiss me umhmm honest you do.
At first I thought it was infatuation the mood has lasted so long now I find myself wanting to marry and take you home I know, I know I know send me I know you send me ohhhh send me honest you do!
Ok, maybe still listening to music. *sigh* he does send me though!
Ok, enough of that silly stuff. Where were we anyway?
AHA! The Montgomery Magnolia house … Hehehe that’s funny – Rich is going toward Montgomery Alabama … the fisher guy’s name is Reed Montgomery and the city this latest house is in is Montgomery, IL The house itself is $248,000 – where the one level house is $255,000. I guess that means its $7000 cheaper, but will have extra money costs going into it, because it is a house that will be built. It doesn’t look like it’s got any quick move in models ready … the community is more crowded than the golf course, but Montgomery is a nice town and just east of Oswego. Pretty sure Rich won’t like it so far out, but MAN you get so much for the money. You even get a basement. The Daneli for $255,000 is on a slab and you have to pay $40,000 more for the basement. Oh and did I say … it has a deck and a porch – deck in back and porch in front!
posted by Ann Marie @ 2/19/2010 04:44:00 AM
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