Dreamin to beat the band
Hi … it’s me again. It’s about the middle of the day and we’re just getting by. We came in and did our initial hour, and then we lost time in that we received a letter in the mail a note from Walden University. They have programs in psychology for Masters and PhD. Yeah … well you know you’d have to wonder how long before those urges came back. I know realistically that I cannot do it at this time because I don’t have control of my mind yet for the time and effort needed to complete all the requirements. I’m still managing my daily requirements to include that if I get to putting something down for 9 am, I am completing something at 9 am.Ok, deep breath. We’ve been living as if we had more options though … that we could go through a program and succeed at it. Walden has a general psych program which would include a foundation class, current psych issues, history and systems, statistics, human motivation, research design, cognitive, tests and measurements, social, cultural, one elective, and a capstone project. That’s it 12 courses. I’ve got 5 courses complete from Capella. I’m not sure if all courses would transfer, but I have 24 credits and I could only transfer 25 credits anyway. The courses I completed were the foundation, lifespan, research and writing, multi-cultural, and social. I think foundation, multi, and social would wipe each other out and hopefully lifespan would take the place of current psych issues and then the writing could take the place of the elective.
That means I would have 4 years to complete 7 courses or 4 quarters, or one year.
The other thing I could check on is if I could take one course a quarter – though that would make it almost 2 years. I would start in December. If I started then at 2 courses, it would mean that I’d be finished before CARF came back. Man, I would have to work hard. Always the dream is big … I’d have to summon up the nerve alongside that and make it durable. Including $360 per credit, fees, and books … it would cost about $22,000 – think that would be added onto like $33,000. Easier than a doctorate … that would cost $65,000. They a general psych program with an educational specialty that would need to be completed in 7 years.
I think mostly where we are getting these ideas again … is one we just happened to get something in the mail, but as well, we’re starting to think what it is that we want to do when we get bigger again. I would not like to do something immediately toward the center … although they offered a program on organizations and non-profit through the psychology program.
What I’m interested in goes back to learning, self-systems, and self-regulation.
That’s basically what there psych-ed program is.
I think if I were to go back to school now it would be more for learning to become a better me in as far as succeeding in goals. The real object would continue to be the writing. I would like to write the progress – as we’ve progressed over the last 9 years – and 5 years in writing. I would be back to writing in that I think that someone with an MA or a PhD would be much better at selling books than someone without. But, again … I think that the book would be more interesting if I accomplished something. I think I mentioned it over the weekend that my specialty in writing would come from the multiplicity and having been a mistress.
Maybe I would have to study that more, because there might be something about myself that I’m missing. For example, part of me is that I’m a writer too. There is nothing dysfunctional about that.
It I went to school, it would be that much more important to do my work at work.
Some of the information though that I’ve been getting from this writer Brian Tracey is that you have to put goals in front of yourself and aim toward those directions.
There needs to be something that we are working for. I don’t have a clear idea yet of what it is that I could be teaching, but I know I have to make about $350,000.
That’s now my new number. AHA! There you go … I just turned off the spacey music and I started the ambiance sound of waves. I’m seeing a lot of green and brown … ahh must be grass and trees. Yes, we could stretch a desk that far.
I talked to a woman from Capella. I think that I was on some kind of a tickler. I had gone in under my account to check my credits … a couple minutes after a student called and she transferred me to a guidance counselor. If I went to Capella I would be going back under academic probation, but it would be the same if I went to Walden.
In graduate programs such as these … you need to maintain a 3.0 average and I have a 2.82. I am thinking though if I transferred I would have a 3.4 average because I’d only transfer over the courses I had regular grades in. One of the things that we discussed with the counselor was pretty much as I thought.
Basically, you only get 4 years to complete the degree. If I went back now I would have to graduate by March of 2009. They said that we could apply for a one year extension, but it would still mean finishing 8 courses including thesis in 6 quarters. It would mean having to double up. I would still have to apply to get back in their good graces, in a sense writing them to say how things have changed and how I won’t repeat my mistakes.
At one point I just finalized the conversation by saying to the counselor … ok, with all that out on the table – what is your best advice. I had told her as well about the multiplicity and needing sometimes extra time. She thought for a moment and then concluded it would be a very difficult thing to do. It would have been different if I’d taken time off for a family emergency, but I took off for a mental break. It’s easy to assume that might happen again.
I think that it is a good idea to approach the subject, but it is not as if it’s my only option. I could continue the course before trying that by learning to work with the calendar, to-do list and health issues. That’s not a bad tact at all. I have to admit too that if I started the school this semester or next depending on how the transfers worked out – I could be putting me directly into CARF time. I would however ask that time at that point could be taken off. I’m a lot more knowledgeable now as to my limitations – though Tracey would opt that you accept and focus instead on your positives. It seems to be a good idea.
Maybe what I could do is to think for the next quarter now through February about how standardized I could become. If by say the first of the year it was working out, then I could consider again more seriously going back. The idea of becoming more learned has always struck me as essential. If you are not learning – you could be in a manner not upwardly. I would need time to bolster my courage and that of my best supporters. I’ve got to be able to just do instead of worrying about it or thinking how to avoid. Keep seeing Vince here. Me just thinking of this is avoiding … pretty sure that’s what he would say. We’re going to try working ourselves past that difficulty, because its pretty heavy to bear at this time. Was back in the day too.
This is the part that makes it so hard for us to do something worthwhile.
We give up on ourselves often. Thinking now that Dr. Marvin would say that’s something that we’ve learned to do from our upbringing. No one really had a design for me in mind as I was growing up that I’d be a success at anything. And, then I carried it on by myself. I think we’re going to need doing this as best we can … which is to mean not doing it to the best of someone’s ability who can do this or has, but from my/our perspective right now … right here.
I’ve been appreciating that we’ve been going to the gym/swim more often than not.
We’ve been doing so by a positive approach and by not accepting limitations such as if we miss once or even twice, it does not mean that we can or should stop going altogether. We were appreciative this morning when we got on the scale and had learned that although it had gone up a couple pounds, that this morning it had come down to a new record at 253. I really think that is because we are not holding the scale so accountable that we need to see progress every day. We’ve tried to inherit a formula in our head that says if we keep doing the diet and exercise well – that we will indeed lose weight though it might not be as fast as we might like. In general … we’re just going down in that direction.
Another thing we would have to work on is our relationship with Dr. M. I remember where we’d really lost all hope was that we had started to see him just 2 times a month. That wasn’t sufficient. Not only did it not help, it hurt, because so much of the time we were wallowing in sorrow. We should probably think that through too in its affect on us. Right now wouldn’t be a good time though, because in just thinking of it we feel more resolutely dull and drained. It hurts.
Ok, keep working through it, K? More later ... we've talked to both Capella and Walden Universities. Also looked again at CR-V's *Sigh*
posted by Ann Marie @ 9/22/2008 04:02:00 PM
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