Ayn's Multiple World

You'll Never Guess!

Good morning. This is me. We’re just getting done waking up and figure we’re almost ready to officially start the day by blogging. I say almost, because we haven’t taken the medicine yet, but soon. I know that when we go out there we’re going to have to call the pharmacy for an update. Hm… I suppose that be the way to go, HMM? Shoot … just gotten comfortable here … It’s about 7 am and we got up about an hour ago ANDDDDDD our FISHY FRIEND called! Yup, yup … first thing of the morning.

It turns out that he’s about an hour and a half from camp. It was about time they ate. He seems to be in a good mood, though he says its raining so that doesn’t make it ideal to be fishing. He did say his rainsuit will come in handy, so I think they’ll go out anyway. I think God must really love fisherman to have given them so much spirit. WooHOO FISHYMAN!

Ok, I know on that note … he’d probably be reminding me to get the medicine AND it would mean getting my first cup of coffee … that seems like a doubly good idea.

Ok … good good we’re all good to go. Things got done.

So where are we here … maybe let’s go back to thinking about Rich for a minute … anything else here? Well, I could say that we were giddy in listening to him. That was cool. When we first picked up the phone we didn’t realize it was him – it was on a “private” line. I should have thought … who else would call at that time in the morning, right? He says that he spent about 9 of his hours on the computer. He bought a little gizmo that allows him to plug in to the battery charger. That was a good mood, though I’m sorry that he didn’t let go of work. I knew he had to write some contracts that he had due. So maybe that helped him take away some pressure.

He said he drove for 2-3 hours too. AND, I know that Bob had gotten a new used van, but one that came with a DVD player, so the guys had a handful of movies to watch.

Rich said there weren’t any bad ones, and I don’t have any reason not to believe him. He’s a good Rich.

Gives me a nice glow to be thinking of him.

There’s other exciting stuff going on too. Thom’s got McMap this morning from his 7:30 9:30, Then they get an hour to review for a test … and then they get the test from 12:15 – 1:45 .. So, we’ll be thinking good thoughts of him from 2:15-3:45 our time. At 4 pm our time he’s got liberty until our 11 pm. That’s a good thing. We might want to consider writing a note before then … Maybe I should be writing in between, but there’s nothing worth saying really. Most of the time … just want to hear how he’s doing. This was the week with a bunch of stuff before he gets to some of the big weapons. We’ll try to hear from him direct.

One of the other big deal stuff is that we went out with Joe last night. That seems to be going well. He says that things are going pretty well with Maury and that if he wanted to stay until the end of the year that would be fine with him. To Maury it means having family AND it means clearing an extra $400 a month. For Joe it means the same, but only having to pay $400. Joe said though that the place he wants is supposed to be freeing up in August. He got a chance to look at the place and he says that its real nice. He says it’s pretty basic though. I think it’s got a living room, kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom and that’s about it. I think it’s going for $750, so the price is good AND the location is excellent. It’s right over the Karate school. Man you just can’t beat that for convenience. Joe will be able to go down anytime he wants to work on his moves or a little business. I’m pretty excited for him. I know he’s looking forward to it.

Joe says the karate business is going well too. He says that there’s now enough to be pulling a little paycheck out of it. Plus, he says he just got done paying off the old business partner. He says the guy wants some time at the Dojo to be giving private business, but Joe explained he couldn’t have the peek hour when he’s supposed to be bringing in money. I think that was a good thing. I think it was unfair to add in extra stuff after money was being put down. But, hey I’m not a business person. Joe looked happy … I don’t know which of us between the two was the most smiley.

Joe let me talk about a few things too. He didn’t say anything about the weight change, but I think he got a kick out of how little I could eat. I had a small corner from the bread and one small crab cake.

Mmm, I forgot I had another one left in the fridge. That was very good! And, there were a few pieces of pumpernickel bread … it was great … almost sweet. I guess that’s breakfast then. Good, good. It’s about 7:45 am so … we’ll try and remember to get like a V8 about 10 am and then lunch about noon. That should be ok. Now if we were really on schedule we’d hit the zoo at about 1-2 pm. Then we could stop by and pick up our medicine on our way home. That be a good idea. Hmm, and I think we need to stop at the bank. We got our check last night and I have some cash from Rich’s rent money to put in the bank too – that’s the stuff to pay school loans.

I will want to finish up with Joe, but I wanted to say something toward school … we got a call from a counselor from Capella this week. He wanted to tell us that we should apply for the next semester or we would have to reregister to start up classes again. It gave me something to think about … I’m still not ready, but it gave us a good feeling knowing that we could try again if we wanted. Right now though there are too many books and writing ops that I don’t want to restrict my thinking. I have to be careful too, because it’s an expensive proposition. As it is we’re already paying $400 a month. I do have to say that some of that was from still paying for school costs back 97-99. I’m glad to have gone through the school experience. Right now though I really want to get to some reading.

I think we told you that we’d gotten the books for the Marines. Wait though … let’s think anything else with Joe? I suppose not too much. It was a short visit, but very nice. I told him that I’d like to do more of it. Plus, he’s just not that expensive. Between the two of us PLUS tip, we only paid $20. We ate at Outback, but one of Joe’s old friends was there working and he gave us a $10 coupon.

SWEEET! We had to order something extra to bring our portion up to the right amount to claim it, so Joe ordered a cheese cake for Maury. I thought that was really sweet. I’m so proud of my kids … It think they are doing great!

Ok, now as to the books. We got the first of the nine books on Wednesday night, but found it in our mail at the center Thursday morning. It was on PTSD and only about 150 pages, so we read it before the end of the work day. Ok, I can’t claim a lot got done that day, but we really enjoyed reading again. I didn’t read everything about the books being ordered just knew they were on the top of the suggested reading for Marineparents.com. The PSTD book turned out to be one written by Dr. Cantrell. She’s affiliated herself with MP.com. She’s the one that talks to people once a month at the chat site. We had talked to her that once … and wasn’t sure what to make of her. She seemed tightly woven, but I think that’s because she’s a pretty important person with obvious priorities. She’s got quite a name for herself amongst the Marines.

I liked the book good enough. It gave me some background on what the PTSD is like on the military people, especially Marines. There were no big revelations, but the book was solid and easy to read. It appeared like a review. I liked that it gave examples of people being affected. I wasn’t sure I liked the tense of the book. In that … sometimes she appeared to be talking to the combat warriors and sometimes she appeared to be talking to those who loved those guys. I was ok at the latter level of the two, but did not like the “encouragement-tone” she’d used on the guys … kind of an over ceding tone like talking down to them. Like if your having problems she said a thousand times seek help, but I would have rather heard more on what you could do for yourself than JUST going to someone. Believe me I know how important seeing someone is, but she kept what goes on their between the doctor or therapist a mystery. Kind of gives me a sense of frustration.

I’ll give you the chapter names so that you get a sense of what she was writing about.

Journey from War to Peace
Mortaritaville
Driving Fast in the Slow Lane
Some Wounds are Not Visible
First Aid for PTSD
You’re Not Alone
Down Range Was Different
Going From One World to the Next
Home, But Not Really
Asleep at the Wheel
Guilt … The Self-Imposed Prison
Stringing up the Wire
Vet-to-vet
Turning Hearts toward Home
Self-Care for leaders
Prologue: A View of the Combat Community by Chuck Dean
Preparing Families for the Homecoming

Much of her work seemed to be in re-integration. She said often that you can’t ever return to square one. Like the rules are different after the warrior comes back.

Basically, everything is better if you can talk about the experience – though often it will be with a professional or other veterans. I’m not saying that’s not true, just saying that when I’m reading a book, I want a little more information. She does give an example of being in the group – so she is giving information. I guess in summary the book could be a primer, nothing profound. Easy reading level – about 10th grade reading material. It was as good a place to start as any.

Then after work last night … I checked the mail slot and found that there were two more packages containing a total of four books. While waiting for Joe in the parking lot I started to look through the one that has all the colored pictures … It’s called, “To be a US Marine.” I will have to go back and now read everything else. I was reading picture labels, but there are too many gaps. Everything is on its own – like in a sketch book with little framing – so, like when they tell me this is a M40A1 rifle used by snipers, it’s not synching in what exactly that means. It doesn’t seem to help knowing they are using 7.62 mm ammunition. They try to explain it’s 173-grain boat-tail bullet with a velocity of 2,550 feet per second, but I’m still left with “What the hell does that mean?” I can assume it’s big and fast – get the job done, but not in comparison with what else. And, I’m not holding onto the information somewhere I can remember where I put it. I knew this because I’ve got the book propped open, but given a test – I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t figure it out.

One of the things these books hopefully will give me over time is a sense of what all these things are. If you are non-military, everything is new. How the hell would I have known that the old amphibious vehicles hold 22 troops? But, that’s why I’m reading right? Just need to figure stuff out. There were these things along the way – text boxes where they gave things like “sayings Marines use.” I think they are saying things for real. Like shoot first ask questions later. That’s still very intimidating to me. Or, that a Marine is your best friend worst enemy.

I’m just not adapting well that my son is being turned into a killing machine. It doesn’t seem to bother him at all. Just not sure where that is coming from. Ok, enough of that part for now.

The other books are “Table in the Presence,” which is supposed to be a religious awakening out on the battle field – in general. Then there is one called, “The Marine Book. It is also a picture book, but the pictures aren’t colored … It’ has more of Marine history, traditions and training. And, the last book, which I got about 70 pages into last night is McCoy’s Marines. This one is the story of an embedded writer – California paper going into Iraq for the first time - these are the guys that took down the first statue of Hussein. He traveled with the 3rd battalion, 4th regiment. So far it too has been an easy read. He’s been talking about his personal life and how he got into the business, his previous Marine experience and so forth. Where we are right now – he’s up to the part of traveling to Iraq to go in – so, we’re basically done with background and getting into the grit of the story.

These are the titles to the chapters in this book:

Growing up
Journalism
Preparation for War
Leaving Home
Invasion
On the March
The road to Diwaniyah
The compound
Baghdad
Going Home
Back to Iraq
Hearts and Minds
A totally different war
Images of IRAQ

I like the easiness of reading a autobiography like this. I’ve read so many textbooks that its nice to have a book where your just sailing through. I like the guy reading the story. I don’t think he does details like expressions of feelings or thoughts real in-depth like. He’s a newspaper journalist so there is a lot of quickly getting to the point – Just a lot of small points from one end of the book to another.

It’s about a 300 page book so I should finish it this weekend yet. I still have to fit it around my writing – and MAYBE go to the zoo time. That would be really good for me, remember? I know about here I should just commit … I’m going at such and such time. BUT, I like the feeling of having time to write and read, PLUS I gotta do some work this weekend. I really have to finish up the annual report. I’m just stalling there now. I should have done it Thursday or Friday. Hmm, and then too I wanted to progress the next staffing a little more. We’ll see. It complicates things that Candice is coming back on Monday. I don’t know how long she’ll stay, because Sr. is pretty adamant of having her leave. She just doesn’t feel empowered to do so. She’s asking me – what grounds could I use to fire her. I’m not sure.

I’m not real good about that stuff. There is a in-service coming up from somewhere in about September on how to deal with difficult employees. It’s about $100. I’ll ask Sr. if she or I should be going to it. I know she’s pretty tight with budget money, but it would make things like this a lot clearer. Sr. was the one who put it in my mail, so I’m not sure, but thinking that might have been a hint that I should go. Seemed like a well-organized meeting and sets of thoughts. The brochure had great structure.

I’m really tied up in meetings In the beginning of August. There are six and I’m not really “I love meetings” kind of person. But, the majority of the meetings were going to teach me how to use other mediums on computers so there is some fun involved. I might have to reschedule the calendar though unless Candice is going to be here … and then she can do her own staffings. That would free me up, but keep her here for another month and a half … blah! That set of meetings though were very minimal in cost and put out by the school districts … not high-end thinking.

Ok, enough there.



I’m now getting a little ancy to present something else very exciting. Over the last day or two, I made an attempt to get ahold of Dr. Woollcott. For any who may not have heard over the years, Dr. Woollcott is my former psychiatrist. He’s about one of the most wonderful people you could ever know. He started to retire in 1997 about the time I had to leave the sessions to go back to school, but he didn’t officially retire until 6-7 years afterward. The first thoughts I have with Dr. Woollcott is to shake my head. We really gave him a lot of trouble I think. It was back in the days that there were a lot of interaction with real young parts. So he had his share of hiding, pouting, and even tree climbing. I think that’s one of our favorite memories and Dr. Woolcott’s too. He had to go through one of his peer’s razzing. I guess the peer had seen me up in the tree and then gone to Dr. Woolcott’s and said, I think she must be one of yours. I guess at the time, that Dr. Woollcott used to get the difficult cases. It pleases me now to know that I could be such a challenge. I think Dr. Marvin has it much easier in comparison.

There were a lot of communication problems due to age or shyness back in Dr. W’s time. We had a container just for our younger parts to play with him. I seem to remember there was a furry ball – stuffed that we used to roll between us and there were books and crayons and such.

Dr. Marvin will infrequently get someone who talks about little kid stuff, but it’s rare that he will meet someone under 5-6. With Dr. Woollcott it was all the time meeting parts younger than that. I give Dr. Woollcott a lot of credit … he had a lot of patience. One of the other memories I have of that time is that for a couple 2-3 years, we didn’t talk to Dr. Woollcott at all. I don’t know why, but I think it had something to do with the parts switching back and forth. It was a very confusing time. So, I would come in and he would let me sit at his computer and he would ask questions and we would write out the responses. When I think of it now it seems like it just happened once or twice, but I know it was years. All the times have kind of blended into one. I also remember that we were going through real hard stuff, because we were going through the divorce. I saw Dr. Woollcott from 1990-1997. I won’t go into the meeting now, because we’ve done that in the past a few times, but we figure it was divine intervention that let him be such an important person in my life.

Dr. Woollcott now lives in northern Michigan, but I think he comes down for periodic monthly meetings. We met his family – at least his wife and son long time ago … Trisha – his wife was real patient with us when we’d call in the middle of whenever to talk to Dr. Woollcott. We had a real problem disconnecting from him. It was a lot worse then than it is now with Dr. Marvin. And, we used to call Dr. Woollcott from terrible places or situations in our head … Like after we’d been out drinking and carousing. Another thing I remember about that time was how many times we’d end up in the hospital. The deal was that if you couldn’t take care of yourself, than someone else would have to do it for us. Yeeks. I don’t want to go back into those thoughts right now too. It’s been since my father’s and step-mother’s death 5 years ago now since I’ve been in the hospital. That’s a good thing. I can still too clearly remember that set of events. BRrrrrr… let’s not go there.

I remember another thought – and that was that Dr. Woollcott treated us like a human being. That seems to be very different than our experiences before. I know we used to write to him and even sent him postcards when he went away on vacation. He used to take one month outings once a year up to their Michigan place. Once we went to visit him there and it was very magical. I talked to Joe and he even remembered that though he was about 10-12 years old at the time – he said, didn’t we go see him? Yup, yup. I can still remember the sense of sitting at the table in the restaurant eating breakfast with him and the boys and of falling into a sleepy slumber at the back of the boat while he entertained the boys. Funny how things so long ago could seem so clear now.

Now both he and his wife are retired, even though she seems to be doing a lot of volunteer work. She was a midwife. Now she is working for Planned Parenthood. His son was about the same age as one of my boys, don’t remember which. He’s teaching now in Los Angeles. He’s an English teacher. That thrills me to pieces because writing was something that was important between Dr. Woollcott and us. Another thing that seemed pretty cool was that Dr. Woollcott and his son had gone through Tae-kwon-do and they had both become black belts. I told that to Joe last night … I know he was impressed. He seemed to think that would be in kind to having the psychology background. He says he’s heard of other father/son teams and he knew what a close situation that was. I think there has to be some kind of natural longing to be tied to a parent in such a way - pretty much life giving.
Dr. Woollcott continues to see the guys that were in a “writing discussion group.”

I think that’s what’s bringing him back to the city. He still meets with them. I think that was a very creative element of his life that was terribly important to him. I think that after so many years of being tied down as the head of UIC psychiatry department – that the freedom must be very liberating. Dr. Woollcott also said that he misses seeing patients and that he’s thought of me over the years. I felt like I disappointed him a little … I keep forgetting that I can contact him. He made that clear this time … and I’m going to try appreciating that a bit more. It takes some time to build-up though that you’ve done enough important things that it’s a good time to be in touch. I think that’s a trend with us. We connect when things are better, not worse. I know that we have to be talking to Dr. Marvin about most things, but shoot … how I do miss Dr. Woollcott. Now as an afterthought ... I'm remembering what we've called in the past our "dead zone."

Could it be possible that we're still holding on to that? I know that part of it was in doing so, the person would never escape into worrisome thoughts. The mental relationship has been held in warm storage and treasured.

Dr. Woollcott let me do some writing for the book he had been working on several years ago. I think he got disappointed with several rejections when it came time to publish so he’s put it to the side. He did say that his son has helped him and added perspective as a smart young man. That’s pretty cool. I think he’s going to write a couple of individuals he’s seen in smaller articles for professional journals. I sure would like to see him writing again. I loved to see anything that he’d done. Another thing that he’s doing is working through the issues to start his own web page. It sounds like he has some assistance, but he’s going to be heavily depended on for its creative content. He didn’t say that, but that’s our figurerers working overtime! I hope that I’ll get a chance to look at that. I also gave him permission to read our blogs. I’m not sure if he will do that … I think he will – and might be reading this now. That gets me a little giggly, but I’ve tried to maintain my regular cadence. He’d be sweetening to the pie.

We told him small things like how the boys and Rich were coming along. We reminded him of what we do for work and he seemed to appreciate that we were doing something that would require us being a teacher. That makes me feel really proud. I was really glad that one of his old staff stepped up when the message went out from me to the psychiatry department that I was looking for his phone number. Her name is Juanita and she seems to have remembered me. She connected us up. Wow! That was fantastic. I knew the instant I heard his first words that it was him. It was like balm to a wound. If I’m using the expression right, I mean to say that he gave me a feeling of warmth that seems older than the oldest sycamore tree.

There was this one other thing that was kinda funny. We told him about Dr. Marvin and his new office … well actually it’s been several years, but apparently, Dr. Woollcott knows the office well and the person who used to inhabit it. He had high marks as to it being the best office in the building. I think it made him feel happy to know that Dr. Marvin had taken it over. He says he hears some of the old gossip, but not a lot. I don’t know if office location is something to gossip over, but if it were it make a nice tidbit. I’m glad that we have the videos of Dr. Marvin’s place in-between the writing segments. Maybe he’d get a chance to see one and appreciate that Dr. Marvin’s made it such a warm-friendly place. I bet it warms up some of his memories of how time has changed. There’s a lot to be said of Dr. Woollcott having passed me onto Dr. Marvin. He made a amazingly impressionable estimation of how well we’d work together. It's really an incredible feeling to know that someone could care for you to that degree. I don’t know if he could have predicted the relationship would have lasted for so long, nor for that matter that Rich and I were together finally after 15 years of “dating.”

We still give Dr. Woollcott full credit for the relationship I began and held with Rich. For some reason he seemed to be on Rich’s side from the very start. And, I remember talking to Dr. Woollcott when we got to the 10 year mark with Rich. We’d set an arbitrary time-line saying that if he hadn’t made a major move by this time – the time his son would have graduated high school – that we should break things up.

I had gotten an impression of being scolded by Dr. Woollcott. I’m sure he wasn’t mean or anything he never was … But, I really knew what a terrible thing it would have been to break things up at that point. He seems always to have impressed me with the “miracle” of being able to hold such a loving relationship – especially toward sexual “Embracement.” Wow … he sure called that one too.

I think somehow he’s going to bed a little happier last night. He said something once about thinking that I’d never settle for #2 spot on Rich’s dance card. I still think of the amazement of that day April 2, 2007 when Rich walked into my living room with news. I’d been on the computer and he went through the paces, but the bottom line was he was saying, I sure hope you meant it all those years of saying you wanted to live with me, because basically … here he was … he’d arrived. Oh man! What a day that was. I remember crying until he finally got it through my head that I didn’t have to worry anymore that he’d made the choice to be with us.

It was the most incredible journey and now here we are … 14 months later down the road … and it seems like something of a dream. I still treasure his time with me and even the part where I have to say goodnight. He’s just the most incredible person I know. There’s absolutely not one iota of a chance that sticking it out with him wasn’t the right thing to do.

We told Dr. Woollcott sincerely, I’m wonderfully happy. I hoped he could sense that. From Dr. Woollcott I had the sense that he’s still a worrier. I think he does an extremely good job at putting things in perspective. He seems to hold when he talks the whole of the problem/solution in the palm of his hand so that everything he says is integrated with a reality of a broader truth. It’s ok to be. I’m an important person, and I’m worthy of great things. That’s what I feel when I talk or think of him. We’re trying to hold back the hope in that it seems like he’s given us more opportunity to meet with him. I would love more than anything a chance to be in relationship to him in some way. I would love to see something especially become of the writing both of us have conquered over the last how many years. He gives me a sense of being on equal ground. I crave for his insights.

Ok, shhhh. Let’s not build up too much hope. Just a pleasant buzz, k? I don’t want to wreck anything. Still have problems with not wanting to bother him. Just saying though that if he has some space for me in his life … I’d take it up in a heartbeat! Ok, shhhh shhhh. Calm down, calm down girls. It’ll be ok, shhhhh … let’s not go overboard here. Better slidddddde into another subject. I know, I know what could be more important? But, we need to let this sit for a bit. I think though that we’ll copy this part to Dr. Marvin … It’s been a very long time since we’ve written to him too. It’s another situation that he’s always remained open to writing to him whenever, but we never think of it until some special thing or another comes up – or we’re doing horrible and really need some help. I think he’s going to be tickled pink about this one … Ok, Dr. Marvin – what do you think?

Pretty damn cool?!!!

Ok, we’ve taken a little break … It’s about 10:20 am. now. We read and reread the part about Dr. Woollcott … we sent it to Dr. Marvin. Then we read the first part over again. We like to do that to see through how it comes out. I like the cogency of thought going from one thought to another and I will never stop loving the feeling I get from having parts of my life “Down.” I think that also has to go to Dr. Woollcott’s credit. He talked long ago about writing your own mythology.

That’s like life turns out to be like your memory of it. With the blogging I get a little closer to my own truths, in that usually I try to get thoughts down within a few days to up to a week from being in perspective. I’m very proud of the five years put into it. I’m coming up to that anniversary August 21rst. I don’t know how many entries I made in the first 2 years over AOL, but there have been about 750 entries in the Blogger version of blogging since November 2005. Let’s see then … that’s about 25 entries a month. Hmm, if that’s right … I’d think its pretty dam cool. That’s a lot of writing, hmm?

Ok, so here we are then. We’ve pretty much covered our hot button activities.

Lot’s been going on. Nothing much happened with the Thinking Group yesterday. It was a very excitable time … I’d found a book I haven’t read yet on my shelves called, “The Well-educated Mind.” I read a couple chapters into it. I had marked off on my chart that yesterday’s session was going to be crossed between education and self-empowerment. The book talks primarily about learning how to read … and amazingly enough it discusses several times Mortimer Adler and his Great Books. I guess this book is a primer after perhaps having read Adler’s, “How to read.” Don’t think that’s the exact title, but it’s close. I was thinking about that book before

I started reading so was really happy it affirmed my thoughts and build from them.

So, in a nutshell, we converted this author’s, Bauer’s, thoughts on comparing reading to “tasting, swallowing, and digesting food.” I knew it would be hard to do it with the group through the medium of books, so we chose instead the television medium.

We copied out the schedules for Friday night and Saturday TV viewing. We established our comparison and then started walking through it. We figured out what the favorite shows were going to be on TV by calling out the names and hearing the applause excitement for the popular shows. The first one was the Baseball game with the Cubs last night … it got high acclaim. So we asked them the tasting part – which was give me some of the facts about the Cubs – what do you know of them. The group decided that the Cubs were the best because they had great coaching - and, then the Sox fans added that the Sox would win, because they are great at home runs. There were other small observations too, but then we talked about the swallowing part – basically, are these real truths. The story came out a little more in-depth as they supported their arguments. They were very excited to be thinking of the games. Then, we went through the digesting part – which was basically what difference did it make to “you?” How were you going to be affected by the favored team winning or losing. The affect was good. The group still has trouble thinking too much in-depth, mostly they just want to feel “in the moment.”

I could see them envisioning their team – and just radiating happiness.

We did the same process through the shows “Judge Judy,” “Smackdown Wrestling,” and the “Bernie Mac show.” Those were their favorites during the time slots mentioned.

They made interesting observations and we compared what their interests were in either watching sports or learning something. I was a bit distraught with their interest in “violence.” They liked to see guys getting beat-up and the blood and gore afterward, and when they recalled Bernie Mac – they took great interest in him bringing out a belt for the father to smack his kids. I’m not sure what that’s all about, but it might be worth some further down the road investigation. I hate to think of actually watching one of those shows to see what their looking at, but it might be a good idea. I gave them one insight into the wrestling. I asked them, “You know Mr. Rich don’t you?” Of course, we were talking about our hunney bunney. They don’t know any of that of course, but they do get excited hearing his name. He’s St Roses consultant and as a near staff member the only male authority figure in the bunch. The group knows him as the guy who controls their workload in the workshop. So, anyway I told them that Rich’s son was a wrestler. I didn’t know enough to fill in the details, but they did get the gist that he performed in the rink and threw people around and up in the air. I told them next time you see Mr. Rich ask him about the wrestling son. I like to jump on Rich sometimes like this.

It gives me pleasure to think of his quiet soft presence confronted by their obvious interests in a blood-curdling event such as wrestling. They are still wrestling with is it real or not. I think intellectually they think not, but in the heat of the moment in watching the show – they are fully invested. It’s a good tie-in too to Rich other than – do we have work?

The last 15 minutes of the session, after a good portion had dwindled out the door in going home, we got onto the subject of Oprah. She remains a favorite of many.

We had a couple different individuals act out the part of being a moderator and then we called members of the group up to be interviewed. They quickly ran out of questions, but enjoyed giving their answers – so, I took over the role of moderator to give them good stuff to talk about. I know they have a good time with this group and there were times during the meeting that I looked nervously over at Sister’s office across the hall wondering if she was going to come in and tell me to quiet them down. It was a very excitable meeting. I guess one of the gist’s was that I wanted them to take something they are in control of – their own interests on television and make a learning experience of it. I wanted them to come out with insight shared with others of what’s important. The group is an opportunity to speak out loud priorities. The bunch of talkers carries over for the non-talkers group excitement and spirit and everyone laughs uproariously without really realizing they are learning something. If I were to name one of the most important parts, I would think … it was very empowering for them to be in control and exercising the fulfillment of pleasure in making the decisions what to watch and then tie into there are different processes – 3 deep in exploring those interests.

To do it as a large group – is the frosting on the cake. They feed on each other’s titillation.

It was a very good place to leave them on a Friday afternoon. Sr. Was right. I came in for something as she was watching the lunch group. She said, “I don’t know what’s gotten into them, but they are a live bunch today!” I personally credit one of the trainers who’d gone from room to room pushing that Cubs were better than Sox … Sheesh I could hear their excitement all the way back to my office. From that point, they just stayed, “UP!”

Hmm, next?

What else do I want to cover before I get back into reading. I wanted to open more time to that … but, seems like giving prime Saturday morning time to such a sedating activity – would be like cheating. It looks like a nice day out there. I don’t have the door open, but seems to be blue sky, puffy clouds and a breeze. It be nice if it weren’t too hot … Hmm, thermometer says 79. Hmm, two of my favorite people are up on stages. Carolyn Kennedy and Bill Gates – two giants! Brrrr gives me the goose bumps to think of that much power and influence in one sentence. They gottit going on! Carolyn is thinking of putting more time into the political process and Bill finally retires his full time role with Microsoft. He is going to remain chairman of the Board, but in most cases going to be working through his philanthropy. He’s sooo cooll. Microsoft’s a cheat though … Don’t think much of it … You are trapped with their products being the best of what’s out there, but they don’t make it easy to like them. All along Bill Gates was the best thing going for them. But, then if you think he made himself the wealthiest person in the world … that came on the backs of a lot of us little people getting raked over the coals.

Still gotta love the guy! He’s a marvel.

Hmm, maybe I better take a few moments and check out MP.com. Hold up, brb.

Wow … I forgot about that. Shoot … it’s today! We had arranged to meet up with the Wisconsin/Chicago people from Marineparents.com in Lombard at 4:30 pm. The are meeting at Claim Jumpers. Apparently, I could take 31st Street all the way out to Highland One major intersection past Meyers Road just past 83rd at Yorktown Center.

Seems easy enough … it says it’s about 10 miles west. Hmm, I think I’m going to guts up and give it a try. The person who responded to my note said they are meeting out on the porch. Cool, cool … how hard could it be to find that? Just have to worry about being a new face and not knowing anyone. But, we know of them.

They are the biggest group of Marine Parents in the neighborhood. Thinking that
Thom has the majority of 5 years into it … it sure be a good time to get to know some of them now than later. Better count backward. Let’s see give it 45 – 1 hour before hand that make it 3:30-3:45 pm leaving. That means shower by at least 2:30 pm. Let’s see 11:45 am now … If we were going to the zoo … we’d have to shower now and get out by 12:30 – 3:30 pm.

Oh sheesh … that really puts a crimp into my day. I don’t think I can do both. Ok, courage check here. Rich would say no reason in the world we could do both. But, we still have the writing and the reading. Is that always going to be the excuse?

Ok, this is the hard part … we get scared of the walking … Haven’t been building our minds up to it. Thoughts on failure, breaking down after we get out … usually it doesn’t happen that way? But, it tires us out and hurts? Umm, that be the nature of hard work? I don’t want to hear … “I don’t wanna hurt!” Shoot, tough call.

Maybe we should give ourselves some time to think about it. How about we just get as far as taking the shower now and then we’ll think about it afterward. Maybe stick our head outside and see what 80 degrees feels like. Hmm?

Man … it’s gorgeous out there. We just took our shower and there is good and bad to that. The bad part is that we had one of those women’s things. BUT, we haven’t had one for one year! We thought we were in menopause … all we had to do was hold out one month … and then we were ready to kiss it good-bye for ever. This is a terrible turn of events. I’m going to need boostering my confidence that I can still go out and process life with it. DAMN! Why’d this have to happen. I was never a very sure woman. What’s going to happen if I do a lot of walking … will things get worse? Lordy.

Ok, let’s skip to the good part. Before I knew that … I had thought … maybe we could bring one or two of our books to the zoo. Then we could make part of the three hours available to us to be just sitting and enjoying being outdoors. That be a good idea, right? With the wheelchair we could sit anywhere … just need to find a quiet corner by a lonely animal. I think also on the positive side it would lend more to conversation. People could be like so where are you coming from … then I wouldn’t be so embarrassed about only crawling out of the house. Hmm it’s 12:10 pm now. To get a full 3 hours I’d leave in 20 minutes, but that seems like high pressure why don’t we tone that down some … why don’t we just say that … we’ll wait on the decision until after lunch. Remember we have those raspberries in the fridge … we were going to make a nice protein drink … better to see how we feel after that. The only down part is I don’t think its going to taste great after tooth paste. Hmm, Ok, ok … that’s not part of the plan! Go!

Wow! That’s some great stuff … protein mix, non-fat chocolate powder, fresh raspberries and milk – put through the magic bullet. That ought to perk us right up.

Ok, looking now at the menu at Claim Jumpers … lunch specials about $15-16 and dinner entrees $24-26. Yeeks they found an expensive place … let’s see what drinks look like? Hmm, doesn’t seem to be drinks. That surprises me. I’d think this group a drinking group. I think then what we’re looking at after seeing the entire menu is either their appetizer cheese potatocakes or the crabcakes again. I never realized how many served them before. But, yesterday like the first time – they stayed down … as long as I don’t eat more than one. Think we’ll just have the crab cakes. Even at that – they are $14 … sheesh! That’s expensive. But, I guess it is crab meat and that’s some pretty good “eatin.” I’m thinking crab has to have protein and probably not as fatty as the three cheeses in the other. Not saying battered and fried is good for you, but at least its soft on the tummy.

Ok, let’s go check the site … see if people are saying anything.

Hmm, ok, got through all of that … there were a few cases where someone seemed to be referring/asking about me. I should be posting more often than I am … maybe today will get me more excited again. But, by now it’s already 1:00 pm. I’m dressed, but need to work myself out of the door. I can do this, right? Ok, you … it’s time to set out … let’s think what we need. I think no camera this time … hmm, maybe though we will come across something that needs recording? Ok, we’re bringing the bag for water and book anyway, right? We’ll need our purse … and I better be sure that ticket is in the purse thing. Ok, other than that? We’re good to go? Well at least after we finish posting, hmm? Ok, girl, go!

posted by Ann Marie @ 6/28/2008 10:03:00 AM Comments: 1