OH GOD I'VE DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN!!!!
Oh my Lord … we been to the mountain and back. I can’t say everything now because we’ve only got a half an hour, BUT we had a day yesterday … like man-oh-man what a day, what a day!!!
We started off soon after we wrote last … went to the nationalist appointment with Rich, then we were driving to work and then we got side tracked … we had taken the blvd instead of Western Avenue and had already driven past the Loft condo project that had gone up – and had caught our attention while building. We had called back when it was going up, but it was way out of our price range, but we weren’t sure now with Rich if it weren’t in our range. So we double backed and called from the front. Turns out it WAS in the range we were looking at.
The lady was ok nice – talkative. She showed us a couple of places. We were most interested in the best place that was like $376,000 plus $375 a month condo fee. I know steep, but then I wanted to see what you got for that. It was on the 6th/top floor and the corner place facing their best view. Man-o-man was the view great!
It caught a sweeping view of the trains – L and other, the park right across the street, and in the backdrop and Emerald city view of Chicago, plus a dynamic view of the south side to the right. It was fabulous – really, really nice. BUT, the condo was at its biggest – Chicago style a loft, but not real lofty – it was only 1,500 square feet.
The place showed the pipes and was about 9 feet, but was not overly generous in size. Like the kitchen overlooked the living room. The kitchen was a gallery – absolutely no more than one person in it at a time. And, the living room which was like 22 or 24 x 20 also included being the kitchen nook, and/or dining room. Uhhuh no room for a table except in the living room so given doubt of size 24x20 it included both space of dining room/nook/livingroom. That’s just impossible. The bedroom was nice, and the master bathroom was terrific … it had large tile going up the back really high, but they cut short –really 1 person maybe short on the closet and there was a reasonable 2nd bedroom and bath and laundry – cubbyhole, but the den – last space of the place they scrimped and made it like 8x12. It looked like a hall. 8 feet is just a terrible room size. You could get a 6 foot desk across and there was a window at the end, but it was too tunnel vision.
All in all a nice place, but short comings. A place has to really WOW you all the way … Specially nice was the view, but the rest was only some nice and some eh … There was another problem in that there was a long walk to it from the elevator.
But, on the good side they had a nice weight room, not huge, but very nice expensive machines. But, again you were paying for it with $375 per month – there was only one elevator for the whole place, AND for my parking – disabled it was going to cost $20,000 extra and Rich’s from $12,000 to $15,000 and with that was distance to the door good to poor AND that wasn’t even covered parking BLAH!
I got back to the car and I wondered for a few moments … we gave a thought to how come we don’t do things like just go to work when we are supposed to. That is worrisome. But, then other thoughts soon crowd that out. And we wonder more … how now is the place out in Elgin that we’ve been looking at going to compare … are we also barking up a wrong tree there? It was about 1:30 pm now. So … we figured … we’re really up shit creek with work … might as well give Del Webb in Elgin a call.
Turns out they are available … we’re available and we let them now we are on our way and we’ll be there in like an hour and a half.
Our do-hicky thing didn’t work, but we figured out just fine how to get out to Elgin – lived there before and did it on instinct even though the area we were going was new to us. Stopped only for a couple fish sandwiches, gas and a car wash.
Turns out the showing office was HUGE and wonderful, but people were out so we settled self in front of fire place and waited just a little and skipping to the next part because only 10 minutes left – It was the most absolutely gorgeous house I could imagine wanting that there ever was. I mean sure there are houses out there that are bigger, nicer, more grand and expensive that you see stars living in, but for practical every day just really, really nice houses??? Oh man this one was a beaut!!! We too a look at the Somerset model we’d been looking at … turns out it was the 2 car version, but that was fine.
It is 2450 Sq. foot for $354,990 … the 3 car version cost $25,000 more at $375,990 and they have a smaller version without the extra bedroom (4th bedroom – if you consider one bedroom a den), or basically 435 square feet less for a loss of $25,000 or $329,990. Of course we want everything we can get. The gave us an option page and we looked through it and added almost everything and brought the house up an additional $100,000 … but we added some really relevant stuff such as a $53,000 walk out garage, plus an additional 21x7 foot garden room (main floor) stunning! We added a stainless steel fridge, washer/dryer, shower in the second bath, whirlpool in the master, concrete patio, 3 sets of double French doors (master and garden rooms), a terrific elevation plan, $6,000 fireplace, $8000 hardwood floors in the greatroom, diningroom, AND basement, extended garage, humidifier, tray ceilings 42” crown cherry cabinets, and about four bay windows and some more stuff, plus all the built ins. Well you get the idea … just all the REAL necessary stuff!!!!!!!!!!!
The place was sooooo drop dead gorgeous that it was incredible everything was big, open and beautiful to the degree my eyes at first could not stand to look at it all. It could only be seen by a little bit at a time. Believe me this is the way that I want to go. As to chance … I really don’t know … I have no idea of Rich’s real potential, or mine for that matter. I know I would have to discontinue working at SRC as we know it, but might be able to offer some contract package with the CARF, but not much else … maybe come in for training? I don’t know but not the Q work. If she’d let me do the CARF work, I’d have to reserve the files in the big shelf and watch the rest of my office go to someone else – most likely Candice. I’d retrieve my books and personal things and say – so long … I’m just that ready – I’m tired of it.
What else to do in the meantime … Hmm, realizing it is 5 minutes after the hour … it’s ok we’re on extended time though Missy doesn’t like it. What was my old hour.
I think 6 am yes I think that’s it. 20 minutes.
Anyway. I was waiting for Rich when he got home … He talked about his day .. there is something REALLY REALLY COOL happening … Bill Clinton is giving a speech at her University today and they chose her office as the place he’ll get ready … it’s just incredible!!! Mrs. Clinton and O’bama will be elsewhere in the city giving their own presentations. Pretty Major hmm?
Anyway … I told Rich about what was going on … and we looked at a few things that we’d brought home … naturally, I couldn’t convey enough about how incredible this place was. It’s just stupendous!!! Rich had that look though that I knew he was appreciating something of our excitement. He looked a little more intently or was a little more patient than if he wasn’t interested at all. I know there are certain things that do interest him … like it is close to his son – he’s done business from the general area – he does games from this area and he had suggested looking for 55 and up community where he could get a single floor home … this was it – though now there is a basement in the deal. The basement Oh my Lord is it big. AND, even those ceilings are like 9-10 feet tall! AMAZING!!! Just think a walk out with bay windows in back … there’d be patio and then upstairs would be a balcony like thing off the garden room … Lots are small, but who cares AND all the shrubbery and lawn and snow removal done by the association for like $180 a month perfect!
The place was done up in beautiful furniture so we could sit and rest and imagine throughout and it was painted well and all. Those were beautiful things about it.
It’s going to be expensive to paint though. Pretty. I think we should get our ex!!! Think he’d charge us an arm and a leg, but I wonder what he could do for us in good painting, Hmm? At nearly 2500 square feet … it’s not something you’d want to do on your own. Ok, now the most exciting hopeful parts – well a couple things.
The big end of it last night was … well, then when do you think you can come out and see it with me? He started off as no can’t, won’t … and we were like … ok, give you a few minutes and we’ll try again. Not going to take no for an answer. Need to have dreams to go forward and such. Did I mention indoor, and outdoor pool and exercise room? Well, we haven’t seen all that yet, but we’ll look at it next time.
WHEN he goes out … Maybe not this weekend because of Superbowl, but maybe the FOLLOWING weekend. Need to fix camera! Hmm, remember that place in Oak Park?
We’ll see. Should look that up.
Ok, and that other bit of hope. Before he tucked me in … Rich said something like – you know you would have to work for me. We said … yes sir anything you say sir.
Damn for this house – we’ll even do secretarial. Anything not to leave the house.
We’ll go over to the clubhouse, or out to the town for whatever. The hardest thing would be to leave our zoo – but even that – it’s 40-45 minutes away – so not impossible, just a little harder – but, that’s ok, too. We don’t go everyday. We can still hold our pass and if we weren’t working “out of the house” we could go when traffic is down during the day when the zoo is open. Oh man it would be incredible. Would I work for Rich?!!! In a heart beat.
Biggest thing would be to train ourselves to be diligent. But, if it meant affording the house of your dreams and past that. Oh man oh man it is the biggest most wonderful place you’d ever seen. And, the kitchen oh just incredible … did I mention 42 inch cherry cabinets. It has an island stainless steel everything a pantry AND an official butler’s pantry – like to put table linen and the nook??? Oh man – You could put a big table and it still be about 6 foot from the bay windows this place is something like a hot tub … you just want to soak your body in it and luxuriate! In addition for the turkeyman there are a full TWO ovens, the fireplace is floor to ceiling - flip on switch, and you have to have a bus to get across the bedroom - oh just magnificent!
Ok, going to be one of those days
Good morning … It’s a sheepish me with just so much time to write. It’s about 7:45 am on a Wednesday morning. We’re still at home because we’ve got a nutritionalist appointment this morning. We have to leave in about 1 ½ hours. We sent a reminder to Sr. and she wrote back reminding us to stay warm … Chicago is in the news for its weather over the last 24 hours. It was supposed to have dropped over 50 degrees. It was and is still zero degrees. The Winds are West at 20 to 30 mph so wind chills are approaching negative 25. Barometer is rising at 29.96 and the relative humidity is 57% - wow! BUT – we can still see 10 miles out Woo HOO!! It’s going to warm up to about 11-14 degrees today and tonight – Good stuff. Sure hope the car starts.
Rich is going with me to the appointment at UIC today. That’s good news. He went to the accountants last night and he didn’t so much like that. He didn’t like the lady because she was a little over zealous and arrogantly goofy. Well, Ok … we saw that too, but pretty much we figured she was adequate. Just Rich didn’t like her openly challenging him to find a better than 3.9% IRA account that could be started at $300. Those things are beyond me, but didn’t make sweetie happy that’s about all there. I agreed that we’d talk it over with him in private and then come back later with a decision. We let both of them know that Rich wouldn’t have to come back the next time … Rich said later that he hoped that behavior of “mine” wouldn’t occur again at the next appointment. I think in general what he’s referring to though it hasn’t been spoken by name is that we have tendencies to be in agreement with whomever is out – though we may or may not hold to that space afterward.
For the record I did very much like the idea of having saved SOME kind of money and the idea of an IRA account starting at minimum $300 with the potential of putting more in sounded good, though I didn’t like the idea that I couldn’t take it out until I was 70 years old. That part I have to check on … Rich states there are better options where my money isn’t tied so heavily to penalties. It seems there are two kinds of IRA’s the kind that they take the taxes out now or the kind that will tax you later. It almost seems it better to be taxed now, because we are guessing that more taxes will be taken out of money 22 years from now when we reach 70. I think there is more flexibility too if we are taxed now. We’d like to talk it over with a banker. I kinda like the idea of putting it into CD’s they seemed safe before and really fluid as to adding whichever kind of money you could each month. The big deal of course is trying to save SOMEthing toward the future.
As you can tell we made an appointment and went in to get our taxes cared for … we still have to go back February 15th, because some clause on something won’t be ready or fixed until then – something to do with school loans. Better for the outcome of something. I think that tax money will then be available about March 1rst or there about. The gist of all that turned out pretty good I think. It is basically the package that I was hoping for to pay off the immediate $1800 that I owe out … Between Fed and State I should get about $2080, which should be enough for H & R block cost, Gov. loan $900, school $600, $340 dentil and oral surgeon, leaving us with $160 to spend on maybe something fun with Sweetie or the boys, PLUS $600 when the Gov. extra $600 passes through the senate floor. Still haven’t then figured out what to do with that money. Government wants us to spend it, but if I do … I will want something special with it. Hmm, what isn’t being covered? I might try something honorable and give it to Sweetie … as a payback or toward an investment in something toward the future I might need – like if something were to come up toward the car.
AHA! Hmm, first a newsbreak … we knew earlier – yesterday that McCain was getting Guiliani’s votes and Guiliani was bowing out of the presidential race, but now it seems that John Edwards is also quitting the presidential race … I’m betting he goes O’bama over Hillary, but he might go something goofy like McCain too … I think he really dislikes Hillary – we’ll soon see. Yup Chicago trib just announce the same … first had come in through CNN. Hmm, Trib says it’s now a two person race and that its difficult to know at this time where his people are going to go – he’s going to announce today at noon – so maybe we’ll find out then who he will probably support.
Hope for O’bama – he’s the underdog now, but OUR guy!!!
Ok, now back to the $600 … we’ve now got a mission for it. Rich had it figured all along. He said that we’re all good with money we owe him that he’s paid up to Feb 1 and that’s just a couple days away so actually just $200 behind … so we can live with that. BUT, he said that I might wanna figure that be the money I need to spend to get to CALIFORNIA!!!!! To see Thom graduate WOOHOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Then he said I might need $1200 to get him there with me … It was then like OH MY LORD! HEHEHE, but it sounded more like … HEY you gotta pay your own way!
Technically, this might have been considered a play day
Well actually ... it started as the above, and then we took another look, and then it became this other...
We figured out all the special angles throughout the morning like the library wall coming down the stairs and around the corner, being left a wooden post, but otherwise having a step or two built up to it - rounded and graceful - and then those corner walls being framed in colonial glass.
Ok, here it is ... about all I can say about Sunday ... We've been here all day mostly by ourselves. But, now it's about bedtime. Rich is reading on the couch with his leg up ... its been hurting and now it's about as bad as it has been - he did 3 games on it and had gotten it bad enough to cancel maybe tomorrow's game and Tuesdays and to check with the Doctor tomorrow. Yesterday he was swearing on an oath of umpires that they never cancel. Yeah like we're all human and have health issues to consider?? We held firm as far as we got him to the Walgreen's and then made him go in. We told him he couldn't come back until he'd found something or talked to someone - like the pharmacist about how to make his leg pain better. We are only so patient. He came back out with a hot leg wrap. Good Rich.
As for now his leg is up and he's starting the rest part. This is also Rich being good ... Sure takes a lot to get some sense into him! And, I'm NOT sure I'm the person who has that kind of stuff IN ME!!
So, what did we do all day ... basically, we just played ... mostly with offsets of the above that came from this one ... yah I know the $375,000 - but, we figure if we're going to play house it's better to play big!
So then the day just escalated. We couldn't figure out what to do with the second bedroom upstairs. By now we realized that the Den would be Rich's mostly - with the exception that we'd use it with our big computer - server against the back wall a large credenza and that he could use his laptop on a nice desk facing out toward the door. Plus side cabinets, shelves, files as necessary, but that their would be beside the regular door going out toward the foyer, we'd use a door toward the back by the bathroom and the back two bedrooms. We would use a laptop naturally for times that he would be working in the den - lots of spots between the kitchen nook, counter, dining room, bath, library, etc. *giggle*
Well, anyway ... marching on toward bed here. Bedroom three has that nice window - go back and take a look ... that will be for the guest ... mainly the daughter when she comes and her girl, or any one else caring to stay the night. But, again we hadn't figured out bedroom 2. But, then we figured it out. We figured we would make it into a small entertainment room - like a tiny theatre. The ideal arrangement would be to fit in a couple rows of recliners, but one would be fine too. They are about 5 1/2 feet wide when laid out with feet extended and we're thinking the room may be about 12 x 12
Damm did I mention Entertainment Centers ... Oh and TV's??? I'm swimming, but Rich says to bed :( 9:24 pm YIKES!
We didn't even get to explain the jacuzzi and sauna in the basement!!! Nuts.
Ok, so we woke up and then went to work and now it's the dining room and the bedroom ... what's the chance we won't take a peek at the office too. I know I know. I love the Dining room Bedroom set ... together it's about a $10,000 deal. They are a matcher set ... think somewhere we could get a deal hehehe ... I would like to get the server to either the front or side of the table, pull the table out full at an angle toward the fireplace for big guests, but then get a double "china cabinet" (buffet/hutch) - one for either side of the fireplace. I still like the idea of a fire place that extends out three ways ... maybe a little skinnier, or maybe a little skinnier with a stone ledge all the way around for sitting. I think the glass on either side of the hutch would glisten. I would love to get the server to the side rather than the front of the table - just mean the table extend a little more depth out into the room - should be ok.
By now we've figured that that whole entertainment center and row of seating is all that's going to be in that bedroom other than whatever might be necessary for sound system throughout the house. I'm pretty sure if we were rich enough for all this we'd get some guys to come in and hook us up. That seem to be the right idea. We read enough to thing we should have a 500GB HP Smart Server. Hehehe Just in case we want everything in the house and beyond hooked up ... like the idea of all music and videos and work synchronized and backed-up. Who knows when we'll get our writing off the ground formally! But, back to the household. We figure with the entertainment in the little bedroom - yes a bit overstated, but really impressive in its own way to have a dedicated movie/sound presentation room. I figure that four people in the recliners is about fine in that any more and you are really down playing the rest of the house and real social conversational meeting. I think the tv's we'll be hooked up so that there will be one in the bedroom in that tall wardrobe thingy behind the doors and maybe one small one in the kitchen in case Rich is cooking and wants to watch his fishy shows. We figure they should be all coordinated together so that an overflow from the sound room can work out in smaller ways. The one thing we don't want - is TV in the living room. Seems we've been fighting our whole life not to have one in there. Wouldn't say a thing though if fishyman wanted a big screen down in his fishing kingdom!! That's a great spot - specially if located close to the jacuzzi! well maybe a bigger one outside that and a reasable one there ... can't be in wrinkledom all the time!
Oh Lordy my worst fear is that we'll get too old too fast before we're rich enough to have some fun!
But, as long as we're surfing here ... what else? Oh we figured for the living room there may be an occasional table AND like a couple nice bar chairs - padded with backs and all off the kitchen, but the back of the couch will be along side the length of the garden room - the chase will sit toward the length of the three-way fireplace, and the opposite pat of the U will ride in front of the open kitchen. It's just the way it's desighned. There will be a couple wing chairs facing the length of the couch - more with their back toward the fire, and with the round table in the center. I really like my couch and would go for another like it if not it's own for a while, but I know where and tear and have to someday consider Rich's interestes even with my imaganation. *Sigh* I think you heard the part about wanting Rich to create a whole garden around my bistro set in the room in back of the living room, but that's only when he gets spare time. I might have to consider doing some gardening myself? Only if I get skinny and can get past arthritis - or if I don't kill the plant I've had now growing in my office ... I don't know there are all kinds of considerations. But, it's worth some thought?
Umm, lots of stuff happening ... we'll talk when we get home ... but before I sign off (4:47 pm) I wanted to show you the office furniture. We found it earlier. I like to shop once, get it over with and move on. Hehehe ok better get home ... Ok, one small thing we're going to say ... I'm officially now the proud mother of a marine.
Nice chair? Why don't we both get some rest?
Swift Note passing through
Good morning … this is us, but there is not very much time left for this morning’s writing. Shoot … we’re having a hard time typing too … wrong letter’s keep jumping into place of the correct letters. Hmpf!
Sweeties in the shower and it is just after 10 am on a very nice Saturday morning. We were up about quarter to 6 am. There wasn’t much done though the coffee was made when we followed sweetie back to his bed about 6:30 am. He’d gotten up to use the washroom. The night before he had left a 7 am wake up call so we thought we’d just kinda help him relax some We are very good massagers … did we mention that?! Hehehe
Well … anyway that happened for over an hour to his varying degrees of awakeness … those are very nice mornings when he doesn’t have to get up, but it can be done slowly, gradually and marvelously! Pswhoo … get teary-eyed just thinking of it! No sex though … he’s laid down the law … pretty much we’re all sex free in the morning – but, who’s to say – I think he said something about being free after 6 pm … wooHOOO!!!!
We watched about 30-45 minutes of news before the bug got in to him. I had turned to be petting sir chief and the next thing I knew was that Rich was in the hall saying that he was “Receiving laundry in the main bedroom.” Hmm, this is a new tactic I thought. Sounded very formal – something that one shouldn’t want to miss!
I think he has to invite me because we still have tendencies to drop laundry here and there. Our favorite spot now is a corner in the bathroom where we drop our socks before getting in the shower. We reason that we can’t wake up Rich finding the formal laundry baskets in his room … NOOO we couldn’t do it later. They take up their own life story there in the corner … kind of sad thought to take them away.
It’s different on Saturday morning when they have an invitation to party with the “white” gang down at the pool, but during the week – they like to chill in the bathroom sauna. Well, you get the idea. Right?
Anyway … by now Rich and I’ve both done parts of cleaning up the kitchen … he got the dishwasher, but we got the red devil out. He also vacuumed … that’s been driving him crazy because he’s way behind there. I’ve heard rumors he’s looking forward to taken down kitty litter. I suppose that will be done soon and I’m up next for the shower. There’s big news – Well you know big for the day kind of big news *Big smile!* We’re going to the museum today!! Not sure how it’s going to go, but Rich had a free day and it’s a free day at the Museum of Science and Industry – WOOHOOO!!! Ok, gotta go for now bbl
Moved on to the Elgin Edgewater homes by the Del Webb builders
Good morning. This is me … and it’s already 11 am. As Rich would say we’re coming out of a funk
Ok, now it is much later … the above is the Del Webb “club house” in Elgin that we’ve been looking at the majority of the day … down below you’ll find two designs and houses that are actually the same but reversed and for $53,000 the second one has a third garage … I know. Most likely too rich for our blood too, but it’s what came up when I asked for a 55+ community in the area. I guess I considered it, because I knew the area … it’s just south of where Rich used to live and I lived in Elgin for a while while we were married.
Beauty - room for Rich to sort his tackle! From $321,570
Hmm, 3 garage ... place to park the boat? From $375,000
Ok, or maybe more reasonable? From $226,615
Postscript:
Damn we're not getting far ... getting bogged down here.
Ok, about ready to retire ... to an internal suburb lake
Good morning … this is us again. It’s about 5:45 am on Sunday morning. We were just caught “RESTING our eyes” by Rich, but that doesn’t mean ANY one needs to go back to bed! HMPF! That might work at night, but NOT in the morning sheesh! This is our free time *giggle* I think we were shlippin cuz we were up a little past 10 … but we were having a good time with Rich.
He came home about 8:15 pm about 20-30 minutes maybe after we’d started looking at retirement places. I said Wow! What are you doing home?! I hadn’t gotten up because we were tucked in warm. He said Chris was first to wrestle and he hadn’t made him stay until the end hehehe. Aha! Then he looked down to the screen and asked us what we were up to … we had a retirement home on Lakeshore drive up, so we told him. Then we started talking and then he pulled up a chair and we looked around a good while.
I think the best things we found out from the looking was that aol local search “powered by MAPQUEST” has a deal where we typed in “retirement communities” and then our zip or Brookfield, IL and we got this large ¾ size page map we could of course zoom in and out of and look at street or aerial views, but it has little red balloons with numbers on it marking locations with a left column of numbers listing all the locations of places by addresses and phone numbers that are listed as retirement communities. The best way really then to find out about the properties is to do a search by entering them in the browser. Hehehe one nice one we found up by Loyola turned out to be only 34 bed and it was for high assistance, and they had violation problems last year when one of the residents started shooting the places up with a hand gun. Yeeks! Good idea to Google your residence I guess! Ya never know. Other places were more like trees, lakes, golf courses ;)
One of the other nice features about the mapquest search feature is that you can just pull the map around to whatever direction like east or west and no matter where you pull it the new locations for the searched for item – in our case retirement communities – well the little red balloons kept popping up! It’s a really, really nice feature. I hope they make lots of money for it.
The other thing we did was found one of those internal search engines … this one called Retirementhomes.com
Ok, good … we spent some time on it … this is the one that we are going with … we’d like one of the little cottages, but Rich wants one closer to home, so he can still do everythin … men sheese! I can’t imagine the cost … like 6 jillion dollars I suppose … it’s on the North of the cities so spose its going to cost … BUT, what we don’t know is not going to hurt us, right?
Postscript:
Ann- Thank you for expressing an interest in Hawthorn Lakes! I am sending you information regarding our Independent and Assisted living programs. I also wanted to let you know that we do have a minimum age requirement of 62 years old. If you a considering a move in the near future, you may want to consider a 55 and older retirement community.
Please let me know if I can assist you further at this time.
Sincerely,
Amy Schmidt
Hawthorn Lakes of Vernon Hills
847-996-1701
*Soft happy smile* Retirement will have to wait another 6 years at least for this one ... 14 years ahead of schedule for me ... Mixed feelings here just know I'd follow Rich to the end of Earth ... shoot ... all those women hitting on my man though!
Well like SOME stuff got done RIGHT?!!
Good morning. This is me … it’s about 4:45 am … we’ve been up for an hour or so just trying to get adjusted … not quite there yet hold on. Ahh now it’s 5 am … we’ve added going to the bathroom, used the lotion for our hands, we’ve covered ourselves in the blanket and we’ve finished creating our playlist … maybe for the day – we’ll see how the mood lasts us. It’s called quite simply “Like John, Harry, Mary, Joni, & Sir Paul.” That’s pretty telling … Basically – John Lennon, Harry Chapin, Mary – from Peter Paul &, Joni Mitchel and the obvious spare Beatle McCartney and obvious lots of others. We’ve got stacked up 524 songs for the day to listen to., but it didn’t add them up for us as to hours … not sure why. Well 523 songs … I didn’t like the Jesus one so we deleted it.
So, what say you are we going to get in a good day of writing here? I’m not sure which day Thom will want to go out to eat I hope he’ll still want to go. Oh man that was something else we wanted to do to … put it on the list … yes that and Qnotes … we brought them home with us, but we wanted to go more through the marine site before talking to Thom so we had a little more insight into the program … I know we can’t crash course the whole thing, but they do have a section meant just for parents figured we might go through that.
Hmm, it’s now 9:45 am. Stuff has gone on … we’re still listening to our music. Not much writing obviously, but *Sigh* stuff happens. The music has been good. Think the John Lennon stuff has been especially remarkable. But, lots of good stuff really is just truly mellow. Rich got up about 7:15 am and he had to be out of the door by 8:05 am … not too much time there. That time other than his shower was spent watching him get ready and doing light talk. Other than that we’ve been going through the marine.com site. We saw all that there was to see there. There were two sections. There was one for the enlisting and there was one for parents. We saw them both. On some of the links there were videos that was kind of nice. The hardest part was the section on weapons. The marines seem to have a lot of weapons. And, we’re pretty sure we didn’t see them all.
There sure is a lot of places for Thom to go in there … I sure would hope that they don’t lose him, but that’s pretty hard to do. Though we saw one picture that was kinda funny it seemed to be a supply yard and there were acres hehehe of supplies – boxes and piles of stuff in all shapes and sizes and one marine you see from the back over looking all of that and it was like he was scratching his head. I think it was like every man has his own mission.
We’ve got too many thought of all that right now … hard to think of where we are with it. The site had a basic site map that we followed in both situations. Maybe it would be easier to just give a framework through that.
The parent one goes:
The honorable path
The Core Values – Personal growth & service options
Education – The options
Making the Decision – Conversation topics & role of the recruiter
Connections – in your community – websites
Preparing for Success
Physical Preparation
Nutrition
Mental preparation
Study skills
Recruit Training
During
Graduation
The Next Stage
Life as a Marine
The Opportunities – Enlisted & Reserves
Prepared for Life
Bases/Deployment
Success Stories – Current Marines & Former Marines
Then there is the part for the enlisted people this might be a little long, but it is important that we get it in … again this can all be found at marines.com.
Guide to the Marine Corps
Life in the Corps
Benefits – Medical, housing, vacation, retirement, travel & recreation
Bases – Hawaii, Yuma, Twentynine palms, Miramar, Iwakuni, Quantico, Parris Island, Camp LeJeune, Camp Pendleton
Opportunities
Enlisted – Combat arms, combat service support, (CCIE) computer, communications, intelligence and electronics (probably where Thom will go), aviation support, special duty, professional duties for women, reserves, & prior service
Officer – ground, air & law (hmm, Thom COULD copy his grandfather’s and go to LAW SCHOOL!!!)
Musicians in the Marine Corp – “Commandant’s Own” Drum & Bugle Corps, Marine Corps Band, & Audition Requirements
Education
Financial Assistance – Montgomery GI Bill, Marine Corp College Fund, Tuition Assistance Programs
Education Programs – NROTC & Key Education Programs – College Degree, Advanced degree, Law education, & Professional military education
Training
Delayed Entry Program – Physical Training, Nutrition, Mental Training & Study Skills
Recruit Training – Accepting the challenge, Martial Arts, The Crucible, Graduation Ceremony
Elite Warrior – Mountain warfare, Urban warfare, reconnaissance, sniper
Officer – (OCS) Officer Candidates School – Platoon Leader Class & Officer Candidate Course & (TBS) The Basic School
Heritage
Traditions – Semper Fidelis, Core values, oath, USMC Birthday, Silent drill, The President’s Own, The Marine’s Hymn 8th & I
Symbols and Icons – Eagle, globe & anchor, The Flag, The Sword, Dress Blues
History
Legendary marines – Lieutenant General Lewis B. “Chesty” Puller, First Lieutenant Baldomero Lopez, Segeant major Daniel (“Dan”) Daly, John Phillip Sousa, Colonel (Brevet Brigadier General) Archibald Henderson & Montford Point
Historical Timeline
Famous Battles – Tripoli, Belleau Wood, Iwo Jima, Chosin Reservoir, Inchon, & Vietnam
Uniform
Field – Combat utility, Flight suit, Mountain warfare, Martial Arts belts
Dress – Dress Blues, Dress Reds, Dress Blues D
Service Uniform – Alphas, Charlies
Rank – Enlisted – Officers
Equipment
Land – Light Armored Vehicle-25 (LAV-25), AN/PVS-7B Night Vision Goggles (NVG), Javelin Anti-tank Assault Weapon, Designated Marksman’s Rifle (DMR), M1A1 Main Battle Tank, M16, Beretta M9 Pistol, Squad Automatic Weapon (SAW), MK 19 40MM Grenade Launcher & M82 Sniper Rifle
Air – F/A-18 Hornet, KC-130 Hercules, AV8B Harrier, EA-6B Prowler, AH-1 Cobra, CH-53E Super Stallion, CH-46 Sea Knight, UH-1Y Huey
Sea – Amphibious Assault Vehicle (AAV), Combat Rubber Reconnaissance Craft (CRRC), Landing Craft Air Cushion (LCAC)
Resources – Wallpaper, Frequently Asked Questions & TV Spots
Hmm, that’s it … of course under each of these things were 2-3 paragraphs worth of information. We read through it as if it were critical. Some of it we read through a couple of times. We want to be armed. We still haven’t memorized the heavy equipment … it’s enough to know he’ll have to make choices or he’ll be lead to make choices toward air, land, or water. The only thing we’ll make sure he does upon enlisting is to get into the Montgomery GI Bill. He can get up to like $37,000 of assistance, but he has to anti-up $100 a month out of his first year’s pay check. He BETTER do that! SHEESH listening to Day is done by Peter, Paul & Mary. Most of everything I listen to is Bands that were against the idea of war. I don’t know how my sons got so … Oh yeah husband and HIS family … HMPF. My sons are all Republicans. I’m a Democrat. That took a while to understand that I was not like them.
Still don’t have to be.
I think I’m going through a bit of a shock in going through this material. I don’t have a husband to talk it through with. I remember asking Rich what happened if it were Chris? He said it’s not … so why consider it? We watched a funny video yesterday with him … just a clip someone sent him … it said that men have brains where everything is organized in tight little boxes. And, it was very important that the boxes never touch … and there was one box for nothing. And this was a very big, important box that men liked to use the most … this was where their experiences like fishing were kept. But, basically, me asking him to consider one of his kids in my kids experience was like asking him to touch boxes. He wasn’t going to go there. In contrary the speaker talked about women having connecting wires going all over their brains and they were being stimulated at all times and everything was connected to everything. So, of course, this experience – of Thom’s – is consuming my heart and soul. This makes sense, right?
I’M A WOMAN … AND a MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really don’t want my son on a hornet. I think that would be dangerous don’t you? He’s still got school to consider.
From what I can see – Thom has 3 options. He can go to school before, during, or after active duty. If he went to school before, he would like go to 2 6 week sessions during his freshman and sophomore summers, and a 10 week session during his junior summer, and then he would graduated college and automatically be a 2nd Lieutenant, which is the low end of the officers, BUT an officer. He would then go straight to the Basic course for 6 months in becoming an officer, then they would ship him probably to Quantico where he would get his special training at whatever he was going to do.
He could go through the service as an enlisted WHILE going to college and upon passing could be elevated to the ranks of officer, or
He could be enlisted throughout, but get his education afterward and forget about being an officer, put in his four years and that be it. I’m not sure, but I’m pretty sure that you need to have college or be working on it to be an officer.
Thom’s gotta do what Thom’s gotta do. I wish he could get the education first … that would put him in the leadership roles I think he wants, but then he doesn’t have the discipline yet. I think he needs the Marines first for that. I think he did well with the computer school – I heard he had A’s, but there were other problems with the girl. I don’t know if he didn’t use both the girl and his Uncle to keep him afloat. I think he did love both, but money was important to both too. I think thom will count on his brothers or friends to help him with the training parts, but I wonder if I could be of some assistance to him. I would like to get his email or at least send it to Joe, but I’d rather hand deliver the information that I have on hand.
Hmm, found it again … this is it … might want to write it out? Better to email Joe I guess ask Thom if he’ll look at it.
Self-Regulated learning - Self direction to transform abilities into skills;
Attainment of goals
A. Forethought - Processes that precede efforts to learn and set the stage for such learning
1. Goal setting - deciding on specific outcomes of learning
2. Strategic planning - selection of learning strategies or methods designed to attain the desired goals
3. Self-efficacy beliefs - personal beliefs about one's capability to learn or perform at certain designated levels
4. Goal orientation - focus on learning progress or effective learning rather than competitive outcomes
5. Intrinsic interest - continuity of learning efforts despite the absence of tangible rewards
B. Performance or volitional control - Processes that occur during learning efforts and affect concentration and performance
1. Attention focusing - protecting intention to learn from distractions and from competing intentions
2. Self-instruction/imagery - refers to telling oneself how to proceed during a learning task
3. Self-monitoring - checking progress of key processes or outcomes;
Self/environment cues balancing routine and change
C. Self-reflection - Processes that occur after learning efforts and influence a learner's reactions to that experience
1. Self-evaluation - comparing self-monitored information with standards or goals; efficiency, effectiveness, and satisfaction
2. Attributions - causal meaning of the results influenced by personal and contextual factors
3. Self-reactions - positive or negative inevitability that assists or detracts from reinforcing systematic variations in approach; propensity to continuously practice well or follow through
4. Adaptive practice cycle - appropriate evaluation of performance; which will create inertia that can facilitate or undermine learning: Learning during subsequent phases
I’ll ask him if I can send it along if – WHEN he calls to go out to eat … He can do it, right? I left it up to him to call me and ask for a time to go out to eat … He lost out on the first available time … because it’s already 12:15 pm and I just ate lunch. I’m not sure if I should shower early in case he wants to go out for dinner, or if we should think toward tomorrow. I don’t think he’s going into work so many he’s not feeling rushed … I would hope that he listen through this little strategy on setting goals. It’s a little long, but if you work through it and cover the bases. Hmm, how could I make it easier to use? Maybe some kind of spreadsheet.
AHA! Nice thing would be to make some double-sided sheets and put some of that sticky glue on top with a hard cardboard on back like a pad. I wonder if a kinko’s would do that? Hmm? Have to see. I believe in that … give a few to Maury, Joe, & Alex too. Good thinking. I wonder if any would use it? Have to push for it. Make it handy have to use ourselves. Good for weight you know? Hmm, look into that!
Anyway here is the thing … pretty general J I went with the more masculine version because I wanted the boys to use it.
Hehehe That’s about it … except I added this …
I thought that was important. I wanted it to be a mom sponsored event *silly mom* Just in case they forget who I am. Then we pushed it one step further – by the way those above sheets each take up a landscape 11x 8 ½ page sheet. Anyway … we looked around and discovered unlike a lot of other printers hmpf! That Kinkos over over in Countryside works on Saturdays and Sundays until like 8 pm … man that’s a nice service … most the regular printers aren’t even open on Saturdays. That’s kind of a mess.
You want to hear something cool? I ordered one dozen pads – 50 sheets each – black and white, double-sided – stuck-together things and it was only 50 cents a pad so the whole deal cost $6 for a dozen … man that was really cheap! I can’t believe my good fortune. I hope I got that much money left in the car … I think so … I figured 2 for each of the four boys and 2 for each of Rich and us. Not to say that any of those people are going to use it, but maybe over time we could convince somebody its some pretty cool stuff. We’d have to start working on it ourselves first. But, we’re going to get it out to the boys right away … We’ll send it out with Thom or the first one we meet up with. I told him we’d meet alone, or with anyone he would like. I forgot to ask the Kinko guy how long, but I will when he calls back. Ahh we’ve communicated. The guy says about this time tomorrow – so 2:15 pm … I said I’d like to have it before I meet my son for lunch tomorrow … He said fine he would call as soon as they would get it done. Good stuff.
Pswhoo. That’s all done … something carried through … I’m glad I went forward …really pays off. I don’t think Rich could complain. Besides its something for the boys AND its for FOUR boys AND HIM AND US and it ONLY cost SIX BUCKS!!! WOOHOO!!!
Good use of Mom time!
Ok, ok … enough of that … have to move on … pretty obsessed with this stuff … I know it takes my mind off of other stuff. Why don’t we move on to some Rich thoughts we haven’t had any of those for a while, right?
Where are we with smoochey face? Last we can remember was that we were at work with him. He left exactly at 4 pm and we followed about 15 minutes later. There was some friction between us. He was going to be home until about quarter to six I think and we were to get home about 4:30-4:45 pm, but we were very frustrated. Not that he was going out with the guys – it was there big annual event, but that he was going out to drink a lot! Apparently, the first hour it was going to be an open bar. Rich managed to have four drinks and didn’t drink or drink much the rest of the night, but we were upset that he was going to be “irresponsible” to alcoholism AND to his diet. Hmpf! He didn’t tell us his weight this morning. I saw him take it and shuffle off it fast … no I didn’t take my weight either for other reasons but let’s not mix moles with molecules!
Well, I guess that part is part of the whole frustration … we were building up a case that we knew was going to be hard for us to beat. We were telling him if he was going out drinking than why couldn’t we go out and have some drinks? And, we were hitting him pretty hard. He maintained that it was two different thing because I had a different diet commitment. Yeah that was going real good. He could prove that case. I don’t remember what we doing the way out that slowed us down. I know that we got some homework and stopped at the bathroom. But, we were pretty frustrated – in a funk driving. I remember turning it in over in our head that wouldn’t an apple fritter taste good – we were heading past a Dunkin donut … and then I remember thinking that we might as well had two – the thinking was that we’d punish someone and it wouldn’t be as bad as drinking, but then we saw a McDonald’s, we thought maybe we could make that less bad. We ordered a fish – two fish sandwiches. But, that wasn’t BAD enough to make a point. So, we asked what kind of deserts they had. We never go to McDonalds and we couldn’t spot them on the menu. She listed about a half a dozen stuff, none were clear. I remember saying umm, we’ll take that cinnamon whatever. That didn’t sound too bad. We paid for our items SEVEN WHAT??!!! OH LORD Was this mistake costing us … There went that big fat ol $10 spot we had been saving for something really good … and we weren’t even getting anything special! HMPF!
Everything was put in a box. After we negotiated the driving aspects we opened the first fishy box. It was the puniest sad fish I’d ever seen. Blah! I focused take small bites …. Mush the fish before swallowing. Whimper. SEVEN BUCKS!!
WOOHOOO!!! 3:11 pm … Rich says he’ll be home in about a half hour, but he has to go to like a 7-7:30 pm match tonight for Chris. Hehehe he says he has the actual address already locked in his car computer. Last time there was a mix-up and he didn’t find the place. I think this is the match where Chris finds out if he ups his standing. Good luck to him! Rich didn’t say anything of his day, but he seemed in a good mood. He said he was stopping in the Dominicks to get a few things. I just said we needed maybe more jello … he said maybe more lifesavors too – so we suggested peppermint since he’d gotten the caramelly type ones last time. Plenty of the 5-colored one. He says he’s going to make CHILI!!! Wow! I don’t think he’s made that since he’s been here. I love chili! I don’t remember if he has to go to a game tomorrow too, but he got in a game, his mom’s AND his son’s today. I think he’s working toward having tomorrow off, but we’re going to need doing laundry. YEEKS someone forgot to do dishes. *Sigh*
Ok, going back. It took us a while to eat the fish because we were concentrating on it … By the time we got to the dessert we were already to the highway … and I have to say one more thing. I have to say honest to God … I had absolutely no idea prior to yesterday that the Mcdonalds backed up onto the street I went down where I knew I’d find the Dunkin Donuts – WHICH by the way – I’d never gone in! Whether you choose to believe me or not, I have never in my life had what McDonald’s had served me up for dessert. It was like one fantasmal piece easily broken or torn apiece dripping and ooohing and goosing which sugary, sweet gooey did I say sweet cinamonanybutteryfrosting. Man! I was dumbstruck … I was making plans on actually trying to find the nearest McDonalds closest to my home and figuring out how to bypass Rich so I could collect at least two more of these horrific testaments against any dietary sense of sanity.
Wow!
After I’d finished I was nearly home and I’m pretty sure you could guess that I was still licking about everything. I dumped all the evidence in the trash bin before fully turning the corner less Rich look down and see the car. I came up the stairs and dare I say … I was feeling pretty numb and flying as high as a sugary plumb fairy. Rich took one look at me and his comment God Bless one tract man thoughts – “Are you still mad at me?” No dear … I didn’t give it a thought all the way home … I put down my things and went to him to give him the nicest hugest hugs avoiding of course breathing near his face lest he pick up our sugary dilemma.
Rich said, I said … I don’t know … know that the question was being asked something toward … are you so hungry we shouldn’t try taking you to bed first? Nooo not me! Take me away sir knight!
See No problems!
Pswhoo.
Eating two dinners that was tight. Lucky it was just a piece of chicken and salad. Oh man … do you see why I didn’t get on the scale today? I don’t know how long we’re going to be able to keep the truth from our baby. Maybe we can just bury a bad thing. What’s to be benefited. It was dumb. PLUS, we now have to worry ourselves about knowing these sugary bun like objects exist! Oh man! They just coat these things in sugar.
I was safe today … never left the house. How long could I keep this up? Hmm? Not sure.
We’re going to have to face it that I think there is a McDonalds down that strip of things down where the printers is … I don’t know how far down Kinko’s is … I’m not sure either how far McDonald’s is, but pretty sure there’s one down there. Ugh. Has to be a special plan. Maybe make it a goal for one of our pads. I wonder if they keep your design or you submit again. I think we spotted at least one misspelled word *sigh* Maybe we’ll improve by next time after we used … At a penny a sheet … we can afford to use some sheets without being too overly cautious. Some, but not overly. I hope they turn out good. Shhh… Obsessive again.
Ok, anything else before Rich comes home? I would like to continue again after he leaves … we just don’t set good records for that sort of thing. I don’t remember what happens next. Hmm, we got up to hmm. He was only home for a while oh and then he left – and I think we were up some, but I think we didn’t stay up real late. But we got him for like 45 minutes this morning … I think that was nice. When we sat down we realized he had left on our space his championship trophy … we’d forgotten he was going to get one!!! It WAS BEAUTIFUL!!! I hate our memory! It’s got a really neat gold script and it says that he is a champion. Oh man is he … he didn’t win it for the whole year like he did last year, but he did win the big fishy contest for that last big weekend which gets a special award. And, he’s featured a bunch a times on the special calendar … it’s really nice. I made him take it to his mother’s house to show her and Bud. It was like how many people could appreciate it so much. Of course they would be delighted to see it!
He had some fishy stories, but we didn’t have much time. One was that he sat next to his best friends mother so he got a little bit of that – though he wasn’t lookin for it. And, the second was that he got in it a little between these two guys that are playing like mad at each other. One of the guys says he might leave the club because of it. Rich was doing his best at mediating … he’s really good at that … been practicing for a really long time – especially with his family. We’re trying to figure out or not whether he is an enabler. Not sure how that word works.
I think that more people come to Rich now than they had the first years … I think he gets a reputation for being someone who will listen. At least I hope so. And, he’s pretty well known because he’s a backseater who gets around and he’s been the group’s treasurer for the last 3 years. I guess they like enough the job he’s doin. Good Rich! He’s a pretty busy guy all told. He said that everyone had someone there except about 5 of the guys out of maybe – what 15-20? I don’t really know. I don’t know enough about the GOOD details … I don’t even know how BOB did?! AHA! Fuzzy face is home!
Ok, going out on resonance for some of the good stuff … well AFTER he uses the washroom. He was going to open them curtains, BUT at 4 degrees and a windchill at 11 BELOW ZERO – there’s NO WAY I want the GIRAFFS coming in between those PAINS at 10 MPH. The curtains may make it dark, but they are to a good extent weather proof! HMPF!
JEESE … One minute in and he’s already tryin to change the setup … this could be dangerous. What should I do as a backup? Hmm, I’ve been listening to John Lennon all day – I would suppose then that the answer would be to make love not war. I’ll have to get naked! Yup yup … Just that it’s chilly AHH CHILI tonight! VERY GOOD! I think we got some crackers too. Hmm, maybe not so good for the diet. Probably have to check that weight for quite a few days. Really sugary. L
Let’s think man for a bit. Men think in boxes. So we will have to think in boxes … give him a treat. Can we ask about how is mother and bud? He went there today … that should good … unless he’s at another box. Maybe we should ask him what box is he at and if he can have company at the box or if it’s a one person box. That be a good idea. BUT, it seems he’s seen enough people he should be reporting back, shouldn’t he? Especially, if he’s going back out to get filled up again?
Hmm, weather warnings are now saying wind and all that frostbit can occur in less than 30 minutes exposure and that between now and Sunday morning wind chill is going to be between 20 to 30 below zero … oh man my man is sneezing … I better get out there … bbl
Pswhoo … back … it’s 6:30 pm. Made it!!! Rich is gone again. He went to his son’s match … I don’t think he had it in him today … not sure what was wrong … he was just hangin. I think he was tired. We did talk about boxes actually he brought it up, but it came after we had kind of an argument, but it wasn’t too bad an argument … basically, he said something like “Woman make me a drink.” And, we said, “No.” That was a little scary. It had come after a period where he’d been making dinner, we had sat at the end of the counter trying to have a conversation with him. He was tighter than one of those football ends. I had to drag every comment out of him … My whole conversation was like … well something must have happened over at your mothers … for example, did she say, “Hi Rich?” You say, “Hi Mom!” That be like something?!
It was terrible … we didn’t pre-think the drinking thing … just didn’t see it coming out of left field … he’d walked toward the bedroom to get changed out of the smoky clothes (from his mother’s place) and he stuck out his head with his get the drink command and we said no … he pushed again. Then we told him he had enough to drink. He said something like he was serious and we said so were we. If he wanted to get himself a drink he could do it himself, after helping himself to four drinks in one hour the night before, we thought he had enough to drink. He said it hadn’t been a big deal, so then we said go tell that to your mother. Hey mom I can drink 4 drinks in an hour aren’t you proud of me?!?? It’s ok, they were for free! I didn’t say it, but I could have added, I can do it just like you! That was the intended meaning I suppose. We repeat often enough … We both come from alcoholic families. We can’t afford to play around with that crap. If we are feeling like we need it, it’s got to stop.
Again … I’m not giving up drugs, smokes, food to get hooked into alcohol.
Rich had gone back in the room. We didn’t know what was going to happen and in the meantail we switched personalities to someone who was weaker … Our Ann … But, Rich came out and put his arm around her and gave her a smooch … she couldn’t talk right. Shoot now I’m crying. He said something about having one of his vitamin drinks … he was just thirsty. Then he invited us into the living room with him to sit down because he wasn’t in the mood to lie down though he had said he was tired. We sat next to him and asked him to reach for our blanket over the back of the couch. We tucked it in over our legs. We asked Rich to share the blanket, but 9 out of 10 times, like this time he turns us down. Our music was still on.
Rich reminded us of his boxes and that he had to take out his nothing box. He put his arm on the back of the couch behind us … we held the blanket trying to be very still. Eventually, the male cat came over to take our other hand and after a few minutes of petting we just held his fur quietly. Missy had settled down at the foot of the long couch. We listened to Rich breath and we softened. We became less defensive. We listened to the music. Rich had fallen asleep with his feet up on the coffee table with soft snores … after 6 or 7 minutes he awoke with a start. He said his arm had hurt … so he put it down and instead put our hand in his hand, then he went back to sleep. We were in our happy space then and we practiced not holding onto his thumb too tightly – holding it firmly, but not squeezing it. We looked over at him in case he woke up and needed us while looking around the room protectively. We listened to the songs to find meaning in the words for him – we looked over to the cats to assure they were appreciating him properly … we did all the busy things women do for their mates making sure they’re nothing space stayed uninterrupted.
I thought back in the olden days the women would have fed and bathed the kids and had them halfway to bed to have protected the space for the man when he got home – so he could have time for his nothing box. Maybe Rich needs that? But, not the “nothing martini!” That part … we’re going to need being firm. End of sentence.
Rich woke up firm after about 45 minutes. I think he smelled the Chili. He filled the bowls and I served. We talked between that time and the time where he put away the food and I started the dishwasher, and the time for him to get redressed. There wasn’t much time. There wasn’t much talk. Our big point was to make sure he realized that he wasn’t really putting himself out today at least from what I saw. He agreed it had been like that all day. He said that he didn’t really feel like going out and that he was tired and just needed to rest, but he’d also told me he’d scheduled another event – a fishing show for 3 hours the next morning with his friend. It’s not like I can help him. I can’t step back and let him have his nothing box if he isn’t in the house putting his own feet up? The Chili was very good though and he said it was enough to eat again tomorrow for the big game. I don’t know when that is tomorrow, but if plans don’t change he might see it with me. Maybe? I don’t know … know that he has to have quiet time while in his own house too. We’re trying.
There was one other small frustration point that came up before he left though. It was late during his time home … and someone had gotten a little too frustrated with his needs. We’d said out loud, “Well, we’re doing fine too.” Basically. Thanks for asking how we’re doing, or asking how our day had gone or what we’d done. He said, well I already know … you did computer. We repeated … We did computer? Yes, you stared at the computer at patterns and designs … Umm, maybe once, but that was quite some time ago. We write on the computer and do other things, and when we write – we write about different things? So then he asked something like so what did you do with the computer today … we said … we stared at it.
HMPF … no room to continue there. Then we were pretty cranky … so we said … oh yeah … we also spent money … We spent $6 … He said then you spent too much because you don’t have that kind of money to spend. I said we ONLY spent $SIX ENTIRE DOLLARS!!! HOW CAN THAT BE TOO MUCH DOLLARS …. He sent back because you have no money to spare … then the topic was changed. He never asked what we spent the money on. We never volunteered.
We complained when he left out the door because he wasn’t putting on his gloves because the weather wind chill was below 20-30 degrees. He said he didn’t need the gloves. I said that hypothermia could occur when … he said he’d dodge in the closest store and call us.
We were still smooching … actually, we got two sets of smooches, but it didn’t exactly feel like we won many rounds tonight - too many small arguments. I didn’t feel real important because he wasn’t in any gear to share space with me, or listen to anything about my space, even though I had felt I’d sacrificed by being alone in my space all day. I made one suggestion that he continue cooking after I couldn’t eat the food and just take some over to Bob after negotiating costs so that these kinds of meals or cooking abilities wouldn’t go to waste. I hope he could appreciate the statement. Basically, I could be alone a lot, but I didn’t want to see him going through it … I think it is hard for him to be alone although it is tiring for him to be with people all the time. Maybe if or when Rich is to become healthier – he’ll have to learn to spend more time being alone and comfortable spending time in his own space. Really truly relax. I bet he could do it. Sort of all this relaxing he’s been talking about.
Rich has been talking about retirement communities.
Oh man … it’s some time later now … we’ll talk in the morning … we looked at retirement places, then Rich came home and we looked together, then we looked at Google maps and well enjoy this one … it’s Ontario, Canada where he’s going fishing – the red circle is base camp hehehe.
Umm ... it's about Thom ... and about Marines?
Ok, … like good morning … and all that too many thoughts going on right now. It’s 7:46 am and we’re at work. We got here about 20 minutes ago and have been talking to Candice mostly about my stuff this time. We’ve been trying to process.
Last night I had called Maury to see how he’s been doing and he jumped me to something he though I should hear about. He said Thom is going to join the Marines. I said, “WHAT?!” And, then I pulled off the road and parked probably for a long time, but I don’t know how long. I talked to both of the boys. Man. Life changes on a dime.
Ahh … Margarita just came in with pictures of her grandchild … Deangelo. This was Mirza’s son. I don’t know much about all of that, but I made sure to thank her for showing us the pictures. This was the first time since he’s been born that we’ve heard or seen anything from him. She’s very proud and I can see why … He’s very gorgeous. It must have been something for Margarita to have brought it this far. She’s so secretive of her life now days. It was nice for her to go this far out of her shell. I’m glad she did.
I told her Thom went into the Marines yesterday. She said “Ohhh” in a nice way … then we went over as we usually do … is that the young one? No the middle one. What about the little one? Is he still at the University? No, he is done. He graduated … he is working. She wasn’t understanding his job, but maybe this time she understood that he’s done from school. We’ll see. Then we went back to how adorable her grandson was. He’s really a charmer … he’s already 2 months old. Or, at least was in the pictures. I think now he is 3 months old.
Good Margarita.
Anyway … as to the other … we’ve talked to Rich about it, but he was getting a back rub and he closed his eyes and listened and he wasn’t asking questions so I couldn’t remember much about what was said. I’m most frustrated that Maury gave us this very literal literated list of reasons why the marines would be good for Thom and I couldn’t remember the first one or any of the others – although as he was going down the list we were listening carefully and agreeing with each one. I think that the boys are each adjusting … both Maury and Thom says that Joe has been the slowest to come around … I think that Maury is worried about Thom in that he expressed concern for his safety … he went through this carefully one slow step thought out at a time thought process of Bob helping Thom work through a job that was the safest and state side and such, but then I talked to both Thom and Maury and we stated pretty clearly I thought that that was Bob’s style and it wasn’t Thom’s style and as much as I wanted Thom to be safe … he wasn’t a Bob type person and that he would have to find his own niche. As considerate as it was and brotherly in that connected manner it was … Thom should listen to the full array of options the recruiter was going to offer him … not that Thom wouldn’t, but that it be known he would.
I didn’t want to hurt Maury’s feelings because he was doing so good a job worrying about his brother – protecting him. It’s just that Bob – isn’t Thom. Thom isn’t Bob. There experience is going to be very different. Maury’s trying already to grab a base … that’s fair, just Thom will have more options than Bob, because he’s that much “bigger” a person – and yes, that could be said, because I’m Thom’s mother and not Bob’s … sorry Bob … that’s just how mother’s think.
Anyway. That was my only concern. Maury gave me all the careful details of what was going on the basics, but then I had to hear the actual things from Thom’s perspective. Maury said to call Thom, but then he said that his father and grandmother didn’t know yet. I wondered for a second if I shouldn’t wait for Thom to call me. But, then Maury said go ahead and called. I think it was too much pressure on Maury. Maury said he would take any fall-out later. After I talked to Thom I did call Maury and I told him Thom did say something about Maury not being able to keep things to himself, but that was it and that he actually fine with the conversation. He just wanted to make sure that I wasn’t going to try to talk him out of it.
I told Thom that the last time that he wanted to enroll I had taken him and then afterward, he had scolded me saying I can’t believe you were going to let me do that with my life. I said I didn’t stop you then and I’m not going to stop you know so you better know what you are doing. This is going to be your decision. I think he knew I was serious … we have that kind of communication … he knows we’re real in that manner. I did ask him if he was planning on telling us … and that Mom’s should have a right to know something and was he going to ship out without saying something? Maybe he got our point.
Within a few moments though he said something as an intro to the subject that it was ok and that if he died that the family would get $400,000 life insurance. And, I said STOP that is not the thing that is the most important and certainly not the first thing that I want to or that HE should be thinking about. I want to hear about how he wants to LIVE. Anyway … that point past … we went into other details that we’ll talk about here over time. I have to slow down and think through my privacy barriers. I don’t know what to do there. This seems pretty major as something I have to write about. My mind is just going wild in thought. I was thankful that Candice talked for that 20 minutes. It was in and out of other conversation and we made sure to include her in it so she wouldn’t turn it off, but then soon enough she turned it off saying … whoa, you are think way too far into it, but we said this is just our first 24 hours into it and that first and foremost we’re a mother … and mothers do this kind of thing we worry.
I think most of the time we worry in perspective. I think … Ok, this son has it in control … he’s doing ok. This one is here, the other here … the granddaughter is in school … the other with her grandmother … I trust all those situations nothing to worry about, but now this is different too many open variables. The boys said that Thom took the Marine’s pre-test and that he scored in the 90’s so that meant to the recruiter and them that Thom could get “any job that he wanted” so they said, but what does that mean?
I looked at their web site. But that scared me. I think Thom will become a computer person … I’d like to think that it won’t be in a scary place, but Thom seems ready to go to scary places if the army thinks he should go somewhere. He wants to be the best. I just read the part on leadership … they said you qualify for training if you have a bachelors or if your are working toward your degree in an accredited 4 year university. I don’t think Thom would qualify, because his school was Devry … the courses will transfer over, but it’s not four year – right?
They have a pre-training place to help you get in shape … I don’t know how good Thom’s shape is, but I know of course that it can be better. I think Joe said that Thom is out of shape … I think he might be eating garbage food … too much pizza.
I told Rich that I think the Marines will teach Thom to love his Mom … I think that he already loves his Mom, but I think the relationship will change. I think that it will become more obvious that I have a role in Thom’s life … because in general people in the service rely more on their moms especially if they aren’t married, or got girls. I hope Thom doesn’t get into a rushed marriage. Maybe he’s that sensible. We told Rich that we have to learn how to make cookies so that we could send him stuff.
Damm … I’m lofting … need to do some work 9:19 am.
Making Decisions!
Good morning … It’s me and it’s only 7:18 am. We said good morning to Brandi and Candice and talked to Brandi for a few moments. Both our weights are holding stable … hers at 14 and ours at 9 ours has been for 3 days and we listened to a brief summary of where she was with her baby situation. It’s pretty darn exciting!! But, we need to leave that go for privacy reasons.
As to our diet there are reasons why we’ve stayed the same and thank God haven’t gone up more than we have … well, maybe by decimal numbers, but not much more than that. We had a couple of problems yesterday … the first was when we went up to the washroom once we reached in and grabbed a candy bar still up for sale by Rosa’s office. We had somehow quickly thought we paid $15 and only ate about $12 worth. That’s very dangerous thinking.
We were so guilty feeling, we ate the damn thing while we were still in the bathroom. Someone came and knocked on the door and we told them we were still in there chew harder faster … oh man … why do we do these things? It got worse though. Dr. that other one was right … we were driving home and working it over in our head that Sweetie had called and worried that we’d not have anything to eat – he stopped by the store and said that he’d gotten shrimp. We were not in a situation to discuss what kind of shrimp because of Candice being here. But, the system was figuring it must be that little tiny package of 7or 8 baby shrimp with about as many noodles and watered down sauce. I guess we were getting pretty angry … because we crossed a couple lanes – looking first and pulled into a gas station before getting on an expressway to get a very big Snicker’s bar.
Were not saying that is proper justification, but we are saying this was the thinking process just prior to what happened. We couldn’t overpass it. We didn’t feel we were going to have enough food. Then we made a medium salad to go with dinner – measuring out the dressing and salsa. At least SOME part is sticking. HMPF!
So, with that said … we can definitely say that anger or fear of hunger are both triggers … we made another mistake today in that … we remembered to bring extra V8 – we had run out of that yesterday, but we’d forgotten that we had just a few life savers left … that’s not a good thing. We’ll have to think through that. I think Rich is out of the house by now even though he’s coming this afternoon … He had an 8:30 am meeting. Maybe what we’re going have to do is a lot of water and or ALL the V8 … all 5 would be 150 calories … that’s still better than having ONE candy bar. Ok, girls here’s the rules … we DON’T DO CANDY BARS – ITS NOT IN THE PLAN. PLEASE SUBSTITUTE V8!!!
I think someone is mad because we are out of fudgecycles for like 3-4 days. Oh – that’s right! We brought a diet pudding too – chocolate! That’s for our chocolate craving. That’s acceptable too. We’re going to do this and we’re going to do this together, k? We’re here for you … you don’t have to go through this alone. Just let us in … we’ll help you out, k?
That’s a girl!
Ok, now shhh. It’s going to be ok … time to rest … shhh
We need to think through a few other things here. I think there was another problem, hmm? Was there something else? I think the other problem was the day before. Hopefully, we got that already, because I don’t remember it … it had something to do with veering off on our weight again I think … some reason why we were off. Can’t think of it now. I don’t want to get into the ideology though that we have been over the last few days that it is ok to do one or two bad things a day and that’s ok – like we can get by with that much – because that will put us at a stand-bye or make us start going up again … we really can’t afford that. We want to hit 300 – and For the docs – 295 because of that 5 pound difference … plus 295 competes fairly with Rich’s weight. It seems like the magic number for going into surgery now. Under 300, but originally at 337 is fair.
“Teach your Children” by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young … Nice.
Ok, ok … we’re obsessing again. Shhh us!
Why don’t you go get that water … do you want to do the walk?
Deep breath … maybe a little about last night? Probably just a little there.
Hmm, Well you heard about the candy bar part. Oh man like there is nothing left … just zoned out. Ate. Played on the computer. Went out to the kitchen about 7:30-8 pm and looked in the fridge. We found a banana/fudge diet pudding. We needed to take our medicine. We decided to call furry face to tell him he should come home because we were eating his pudding. He said he was playing basketball out in the back parking lot. We said “NO YOU’RE NOT!” But, we peeked out just in case … AND THERE HE WAS!!! That made us very happy.
He had to put down the phone to fill up his hands, but he got smooched real good when he came up. We followed him to his bedroom to watch him get undressed. Then we talked for a few minutes while we took our medicine and ate the pudding. He made hot chocolate – I don’t know if someone told him about the candy bars, but he figured at 120 calories that we shouldn’t have any hot chocolate … we tried hard not to be sad we couldn’t share with him. We told him we’d sit in our chair because we were still cold from work and then we could use our sleepy blanket. There was still about 20-40 minutes before his 9 o’clock show came on. I remember him saying something about his grandfather watching channel 11 – so we were watching that for the in-between time, but I don’t remember what was on … and we know NOTHING about his other show – cuz we never made it past the first few moments of the first.
Rich said this morning that he had to tell us twice to put on the mask. We told him the problem is that we think we might stay up, but then we fall asleep so the mask doesn’t get put on then we have to be told. Basically, it’s like we can change since we know we are going to fall asleep we can put on the mask anyway, but then we miss out on that first few moments of getting to watch the show which we enjoy so much. We asked him if it was a bad thing asking us to wake up for the mask. But, by then he was doing something else and he let the question go. We’ll have to ask him later. If it’s really a problem, then we’ll start putting on the mask right away – cuz, we don’t want to bother him. *Sigh*
We woke up about 20 minutes before the shower, took care of our feet, dressed and gave fuzzy face a 12 minute wake up warning so he could pre-get-up hehehe … by that time we’d packed our bag, taken our medicine gotten our coffee and was ready to eat breakfast when he got there. For a while we just watched how his face shape changed … it was funny … but, we didn’t giggle … much at least. We think it’s kind of funny how he wakes up. He’s like lost in space and we’re so giggly … well at least by that time of the day. We try to eek out conversations from him.
He looked at a brochure of a fishing lodge and that made him happy, but it was the kind that was on the inside that didn’t make it to the outside in a real smile. Sorta like an inner hmpf! Then in a few moments he picked up a plastic bag with bills from his house. It was full. He said … I have to pay bills today. I think that made him a little grouchy. Then he said in a more disgruntled manner something about forgetting he had an 8:30 am meeting. He was startled, because he’d have to get moving faster. We teased him about being in semi-retirement, because he’s been enjoying working from home in the morning in his pjs. Funny Rich. No problem making it though … it was only 6:15 am. He had to just shower and I was leaving him in 5 minutes so his time was clear.
He looked at one loose sheet in the pile before putting it down. There was another “Hmpf” Apparently, he’s finished paying off his wife’s car. I said a little sarcastically, oh I see … You finished paying, so she has the title … he said something about “back off,” but it was said in a teasing gentle mode. Then he said the title is in his name. And I giggled. But, I knew that the car was hers, cuz Rich is like that – the car was meant for her and he’d never take it back. It made me wonder though what he’d do the next time she wanted a car – any kind of car? Would she ever have to be responsible for herself? It’s so different from cold turkey in our divorce … Here is my keys to the house … it’s yours … this is the bills pile … figure it out. Bye.
It’s creepy just to think of those days. Hey then – so, lets’ say we don’t, k? Shhh, let’s not go there, please??
Shhhh
Ok, so maybe touching the money thing isn’t a good idea. But, that’s about it for the morning … We had to get going. Not so sure what we remember from the drive in. Usually, we don’t remember that trip. I think there is a part just at the end trying to make sure that we don’t stop for coffee for fear of it being close to donuts. Maybe we are on some kind of alert because of general and especially because of the candy bars … we hadn’t been stopping of with the money in the glove compartment. We don’t want to go back there where we are using money for anything, but parking and medical co-payments.
Ok, so I think we’re pretty much caught up … It’s 8:18 am. We did see Sr. Theresa on our way in just to say hello – hey boss we’re here. As to the work last night – we did pretty good, but had to stay longer to finish the part we were working on. We’ve been talking listening to Candice. For the record the last hour with her we did both work. I think she was working … that was sort of an agreement. She seems to need someone to talk to about the things going on in her life and like Brandi’s story … we’ll keep that private – just we need to leave the marker that it takes time.
I’m kinda proud of the progress on the Qnotes. It might not sound like a lot, but I feel more eager to get back to them. I finished the last of Candice’s people from March through December for the goal data sheets. They are all set so that I just have to type them straight the way they are into the Qnotes. I’m hoping it won’t take anymore than 2-3 hours straight work. Lot’s of tedious concentration stuff. Then I figured – there is no reason that with 10 clients I shouldn’t be able to complete one month’s work per day from now until Friday and in this manner complete my Qnote work, which would thrill Sister to pieces. Then I would get either the annuals work done or the staff training stuff – both are on the hot list. We’ll have to see. It’s a cat mouse game with the state. I’ll be happy when this pressure is off. But, even at that I feel it only indirectly. Hmm, have to check the files again … Know we have to get out notes for the Medicaid forms and there will be more doctor forms. Ok, definitely work ahead. Really have to come out of the funk.
I’m thinking that as much as I didn’t like it – giving sister that note had to be done. And, it gave her the incentive to come out and scold everyone, because if I’m behind you can better believe the other two are going to be behind and they are. I’m more caught up than the other two. Ok, then what are we going to do there. Let’s make a competitive game at it. I’d like to be perfect by the time they get here … hmm? Let’s get to it. 8:30 am? How about it? Shoo!
