Well like SOME stuff got done RIGHT?!!
Good morning. This is me … it’s about 4:45 am … we’ve been up for an hour or so just trying to get adjusted … not quite there yet hold on. Ahh now it’s 5 am … we’ve added going to the bathroom, used the lotion for our hands, we’ve covered ourselves in the blanket and we’ve finished creating our playlist … maybe for the day – we’ll see how the mood lasts us. It’s called quite simply “Like John, Harry, Mary, Joni, & Sir Paul.” That’s pretty telling … Basically – John Lennon, Harry Chapin, Mary – from Peter Paul &, Joni Mitchel and the obvious spare Beatle McCartney and obvious lots of others. We’ve got stacked up 524 songs for the day to listen to., but it didn’t add them up for us as to hours … not sure why. Well 523 songs … I didn’t like the Jesus one so we deleted it.So, what say you are we going to get in a good day of writing here? I’m not sure which day Thom will want to go out to eat I hope he’ll still want to go. Oh man that was something else we wanted to do to … put it on the list … yes that and Qnotes … we brought them home with us, but we wanted to go more through the marine site before talking to Thom so we had a little more insight into the program … I know we can’t crash course the whole thing, but they do have a section meant just for parents figured we might go through that.
Hmm, it’s now 9:45 am. Stuff has gone on … we’re still listening to our music. Not much writing obviously, but *Sigh* stuff happens. The music has been good. Think the John Lennon stuff has been especially remarkable. But, lots of good stuff really is just truly mellow. Rich got up about 7:15 am and he had to be out of the door by 8:05 am … not too much time there. That time other than his shower was spent watching him get ready and doing light talk. Other than that we’ve been going through the marine.com site. We saw all that there was to see there. There were two sections. There was one for the enlisting and there was one for parents. We saw them both. On some of the links there were videos that was kind of nice. The hardest part was the section on weapons. The marines seem to have a lot of weapons. And, we’re pretty sure we didn’t see them all.
There sure is a lot of places for Thom to go in there … I sure would hope that they don’t lose him, but that’s pretty hard to do. Though we saw one picture that was kinda funny it seemed to be a supply yard and there were acres hehehe of supplies – boxes and piles of stuff in all shapes and sizes and one marine you see from the back over looking all of that and it was like he was scratching his head. I think it was like every man has his own mission.
We’ve got too many thought of all that right now … hard to think of where we are with it. The site had a basic site map that we followed in both situations. Maybe it would be easier to just give a framework through that.
The parent one goes:
The honorable path
The Core Values – Personal growth & service options
Education – The options
Making the Decision – Conversation topics & role of the recruiter
Connections – in your community – websites
Preparing for Success
Physical Preparation
Nutrition
Mental preparation
Study skills
Recruit Training
During
Graduation
The Next Stage
Life as a Marine
The Opportunities – Enlisted & Reserves
Prepared for Life
Bases/Deployment
Success Stories – Current Marines & Former Marines
Then there is the part for the enlisted people this might be a little long, but it is important that we get it in … again this can all be found at marines.com.
Guide to the Marine Corps
Life in the Corps
Benefits – Medical, housing, vacation, retirement, travel & recreation
Bases – Hawaii, Yuma, Twentynine palms, Miramar, Iwakuni, Quantico, Parris Island, Camp LeJeune, Camp Pendleton
Opportunities
Enlisted – Combat arms, combat service support, (CCIE) computer, communications, intelligence and electronics (probably where Thom will go), aviation support, special duty, professional duties for women, reserves, & prior service
Officer – ground, air & law (hmm, Thom COULD copy his grandfather’s and go to LAW SCHOOL!!!)
Musicians in the Marine Corp – “Commandant’s Own” Drum & Bugle Corps, Marine Corps Band, & Audition Requirements
Education
Financial Assistance – Montgomery GI Bill, Marine Corp College Fund, Tuition Assistance Programs
Education Programs – NROTC & Key Education Programs – College Degree, Advanced degree, Law education, & Professional military education
Training
Delayed Entry Program – Physical Training, Nutrition, Mental Training & Study Skills
Recruit Training – Accepting the challenge, Martial Arts, The Crucible, Graduation Ceremony
Elite Warrior – Mountain warfare, Urban warfare, reconnaissance, sniper
Officer – (OCS) Officer Candidates School – Platoon Leader Class & Officer Candidate Course & (TBS) The Basic School
Heritage
Traditions – Semper Fidelis, Core values, oath, USMC Birthday, Silent drill, The President’s Own, The Marine’s Hymn 8th & I
Symbols and Icons – Eagle, globe & anchor, The Flag, The Sword, Dress Blues
History
Legendary marines – Lieutenant General Lewis B. “Chesty” Puller, First Lieutenant Baldomero Lopez, Segeant major Daniel (“Dan”) Daly, John Phillip Sousa, Colonel (Brevet Brigadier General) Archibald Henderson & Montford Point
Historical Timeline
Famous Battles – Tripoli, Belleau Wood, Iwo Jima, Chosin Reservoir, Inchon, & Vietnam
Uniform
Field – Combat utility, Flight suit, Mountain warfare, Martial Arts belts
Dress – Dress Blues, Dress Reds, Dress Blues D
Service Uniform – Alphas, Charlies
Rank – Enlisted – Officers
Equipment
Land – Light Armored Vehicle-25 (LAV-25), AN/PVS-7B Night Vision Goggles (NVG), Javelin Anti-tank Assault Weapon, Designated Marksman’s Rifle (DMR), M1A1 Main Battle Tank, M16, Beretta M9 Pistol, Squad Automatic Weapon (SAW), MK 19 40MM Grenade Launcher & M82 Sniper Rifle
Air – F/A-18 Hornet, KC-130 Hercules, AV8B Harrier, EA-6B Prowler, AH-1 Cobra, CH-53E Super Stallion, CH-46 Sea Knight, UH-1Y Huey
Sea – Amphibious Assault Vehicle (AAV), Combat Rubber Reconnaissance Craft (CRRC), Landing Craft Air Cushion (LCAC)
Resources – Wallpaper, Frequently Asked Questions & TV Spots
Hmm, that’s it … of course under each of these things were 2-3 paragraphs worth of information. We read through it as if it were critical. Some of it we read through a couple of times. We want to be armed. We still haven’t memorized the heavy equipment … it’s enough to know he’ll have to make choices or he’ll be lead to make choices toward air, land, or water. The only thing we’ll make sure he does upon enlisting is to get into the Montgomery GI Bill. He can get up to like $37,000 of assistance, but he has to anti-up $100 a month out of his first year’s pay check. He BETTER do that! SHEESH listening to Day is done by Peter, Paul & Mary. Most of everything I listen to is Bands that were against the idea of war. I don’t know how my sons got so … Oh yeah husband and HIS family … HMPF. My sons are all Republicans. I’m a Democrat. That took a while to understand that I was not like them.
Still don’t have to be.
I think I’m going through a bit of a shock in going through this material. I don’t have a husband to talk it through with. I remember asking Rich what happened if it were Chris? He said it’s not … so why consider it? We watched a funny video yesterday with him … just a clip someone sent him … it said that men have brains where everything is organized in tight little boxes. And, it was very important that the boxes never touch … and there was one box for nothing. And this was a very big, important box that men liked to use the most … this was where their experiences like fishing were kept. But, basically, me asking him to consider one of his kids in my kids experience was like asking him to touch boxes. He wasn’t going to go there. In contrary the speaker talked about women having connecting wires going all over their brains and they were being stimulated at all times and everything was connected to everything. So, of course, this experience – of Thom’s – is consuming my heart and soul. This makes sense, right?
I’M A WOMAN … AND a MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really don’t want my son on a hornet. I think that would be dangerous don’t you? He’s still got school to consider.
From what I can see – Thom has 3 options. He can go to school before, during, or after active duty. If he went to school before, he would like go to 2 6 week sessions during his freshman and sophomore summers, and a 10 week session during his junior summer, and then he would graduated college and automatically be a 2nd Lieutenant, which is the low end of the officers, BUT an officer. He would then go straight to the Basic course for 6 months in becoming an officer, then they would ship him probably to Quantico where he would get his special training at whatever he was going to do.
He could go through the service as an enlisted WHILE going to college and upon passing could be elevated to the ranks of officer, or
He could be enlisted throughout, but get his education afterward and forget about being an officer, put in his four years and that be it. I’m not sure, but I’m pretty sure that you need to have college or be working on it to be an officer.
Thom’s gotta do what Thom’s gotta do. I wish he could get the education first … that would put him in the leadership roles I think he wants, but then he doesn’t have the discipline yet. I think he needs the Marines first for that. I think he did well with the computer school – I heard he had A’s, but there were other problems with the girl. I don’t know if he didn’t use both the girl and his Uncle to keep him afloat. I think he did love both, but money was important to both too. I think thom will count on his brothers or friends to help him with the training parts, but I wonder if I could be of some assistance to him. I would like to get his email or at least send it to Joe, but I’d rather hand deliver the information that I have on hand.
Hmm, found it again … this is it … might want to write it out? Better to email Joe I guess ask Thom if he’ll look at it.
Self-Regulated learning - Self direction to transform abilities into skills;
Attainment of goals
A. Forethought - Processes that precede efforts to learn and set the stage for such learning
1. Goal setting - deciding on specific outcomes of learning
2. Strategic planning - selection of learning strategies or methods designed to attain the desired goals
3. Self-efficacy beliefs - personal beliefs about one's capability to learn or perform at certain designated levels
4. Goal orientation - focus on learning progress or effective learning rather than competitive outcomes
5. Intrinsic interest - continuity of learning efforts despite the absence of tangible rewards
B. Performance or volitional control - Processes that occur during learning efforts and affect concentration and performance
1. Attention focusing - protecting intention to learn from distractions and from competing intentions
2. Self-instruction/imagery - refers to telling oneself how to proceed during a learning task
3. Self-monitoring - checking progress of key processes or outcomes;
Self/environment cues balancing routine and change
C. Self-reflection - Processes that occur after learning efforts and influence a learner's reactions to that experience
1. Self-evaluation - comparing self-monitored information with standards or goals; efficiency, effectiveness, and satisfaction
2. Attributions - causal meaning of the results influenced by personal and contextual factors
3. Self-reactions - positive or negative inevitability that assists or detracts from reinforcing systematic variations in approach; propensity to continuously practice well or follow through
4. Adaptive practice cycle - appropriate evaluation of performance; which will create inertia that can facilitate or undermine learning: Learning during subsequent phases
I’ll ask him if I can send it along if – WHEN he calls to go out to eat … He can do it, right? I left it up to him to call me and ask for a time to go out to eat … He lost out on the first available time … because it’s already 12:15 pm and I just ate lunch. I’m not sure if I should shower early in case he wants to go out for dinner, or if we should think toward tomorrow. I don’t think he’s going into work so many he’s not feeling rushed … I would hope that he listen through this little strategy on setting goals. It’s a little long, but if you work through it and cover the bases. Hmm, how could I make it easier to use? Maybe some kind of spreadsheet.
AHA! Nice thing would be to make some double-sided sheets and put some of that sticky glue on top with a hard cardboard on back like a pad. I wonder if a kinko’s would do that? Hmm? Have to see. I believe in that … give a few to Maury, Joe, & Alex too. Good thinking. I wonder if any would use it? Have to push for it. Make it handy have to use ourselves. Good for weight you know? Hmm, look into that!
Anyway here is the thing … pretty general J I went with the more masculine version because I wanted the boys to use it.
Hehehe That’s about it … except I added this …
I thought that was important. I wanted it to be a mom sponsored event *silly mom* Just in case they forget who I am. Then we pushed it one step further – by the way those above sheets each take up a landscape 11x 8 ½ page sheet. Anyway … we looked around and discovered unlike a lot of other printers hmpf! That Kinkos over over in Countryside works on Saturdays and Sundays until like 8 pm … man that’s a nice service … most the regular printers aren’t even open on Saturdays. That’s kind of a mess.
You want to hear something cool? I ordered one dozen pads – 50 sheets each – black and white, double-sided – stuck-together things and it was only 50 cents a pad so the whole deal cost $6 for a dozen … man that was really cheap! I can’t believe my good fortune. I hope I got that much money left in the car … I think so … I figured 2 for each of the four boys and 2 for each of Rich and us. Not to say that any of those people are going to use it, but maybe over time we could convince somebody its some pretty cool stuff. We’d have to start working on it ourselves first. But, we’re going to get it out to the boys right away … We’ll send it out with Thom or the first one we meet up with. I told him we’d meet alone, or with anyone he would like. I forgot to ask the Kinko guy how long, but I will when he calls back. Ahh we’ve communicated. The guy says about this time tomorrow – so 2:15 pm … I said I’d like to have it before I meet my son for lunch tomorrow … He said fine he would call as soon as they would get it done. Good stuff.
Pswhoo. That’s all done … something carried through … I’m glad I went forward …really pays off. I don’t think Rich could complain. Besides its something for the boys AND its for FOUR boys AND HIM AND US and it ONLY cost SIX BUCKS!!! WOOHOO!!!
Good use of Mom time!
Ok, ok … enough of that … have to move on … pretty obsessed with this stuff … I know it takes my mind off of other stuff. Why don’t we move on to some Rich thoughts we haven’t had any of those for a while, right?
Where are we with smoochey face? Last we can remember was that we were at work with him. He left exactly at 4 pm and we followed about 15 minutes later. There was some friction between us. He was going to be home until about quarter to six I think and we were to get home about 4:30-4:45 pm, but we were very frustrated. Not that he was going out with the guys – it was there big annual event, but that he was going out to drink a lot! Apparently, the first hour it was going to be an open bar. Rich managed to have four drinks and didn’t drink or drink much the rest of the night, but we were upset that he was going to be “irresponsible” to alcoholism AND to his diet. Hmpf! He didn’t tell us his weight this morning. I saw him take it and shuffle off it fast … no I didn’t take my weight either for other reasons but let’s not mix moles with molecules!
Well, I guess that part is part of the whole frustration … we were building up a case that we knew was going to be hard for us to beat. We were telling him if he was going out drinking than why couldn’t we go out and have some drinks? And, we were hitting him pretty hard. He maintained that it was two different thing because I had a different diet commitment. Yeah that was going real good. He could prove that case. I don’t remember what we doing the way out that slowed us down. I know that we got some homework and stopped at the bathroom. But, we were pretty frustrated – in a funk driving. I remember turning it in over in our head that wouldn’t an apple fritter taste good – we were heading past a Dunkin donut … and then I remember thinking that we might as well had two – the thinking was that we’d punish someone and it wouldn’t be as bad as drinking, but then we saw a McDonald’s, we thought maybe we could make that less bad. We ordered a fish – two fish sandwiches. But, that wasn’t BAD enough to make a point. So, we asked what kind of deserts they had. We never go to McDonalds and we couldn’t spot them on the menu. She listed about a half a dozen stuff, none were clear. I remember saying umm, we’ll take that cinnamon whatever. That didn’t sound too bad. We paid for our items SEVEN WHAT??!!! OH LORD Was this mistake costing us … There went that big fat ol $10 spot we had been saving for something really good … and we weren’t even getting anything special! HMPF!
Everything was put in a box. After we negotiated the driving aspects we opened the first fishy box. It was the puniest sad fish I’d ever seen. Blah! I focused take small bites …. Mush the fish before swallowing. Whimper. SEVEN BUCKS!!
WOOHOOO!!! 3:11 pm … Rich says he’ll be home in about a half hour, but he has to go to like a 7-7:30 pm match tonight for Chris. Hehehe he says he has the actual address already locked in his car computer. Last time there was a mix-up and he didn’t find the place. I think this is the match where Chris finds out if he ups his standing. Good luck to him! Rich didn’t say anything of his day, but he seemed in a good mood. He said he was stopping in the Dominicks to get a few things. I just said we needed maybe more jello … he said maybe more lifesavors too – so we suggested peppermint since he’d gotten the caramelly type ones last time. Plenty of the 5-colored one. He says he’s going to make CHILI!!! Wow! I don’t think he’s made that since he’s been here. I love chili! I don’t remember if he has to go to a game tomorrow too, but he got in a game, his mom’s AND his son’s today. I think he’s working toward having tomorrow off, but we’re going to need doing laundry. YEEKS someone forgot to do dishes. *Sigh*
Ok, going back. It took us a while to eat the fish because we were concentrating on it … By the time we got to the dessert we were already to the highway … and I have to say one more thing. I have to say honest to God … I had absolutely no idea prior to yesterday that the Mcdonalds backed up onto the street I went down where I knew I’d find the Dunkin Donuts – WHICH by the way – I’d never gone in! Whether you choose to believe me or not, I have never in my life had what McDonald’s had served me up for dessert. It was like one fantasmal piece easily broken or torn apiece dripping and ooohing and goosing which sugary, sweet gooey did I say sweet cinamonanybutteryfrosting. Man! I was dumbstruck … I was making plans on actually trying to find the nearest McDonalds closest to my home and figuring out how to bypass Rich so I could collect at least two more of these horrific testaments against any dietary sense of sanity.
Wow!
After I’d finished I was nearly home and I’m pretty sure you could guess that I was still licking about everything. I dumped all the evidence in the trash bin before fully turning the corner less Rich look down and see the car. I came up the stairs and dare I say … I was feeling pretty numb and flying as high as a sugary plumb fairy. Rich took one look at me and his comment God Bless one tract man thoughts – “Are you still mad at me?” No dear … I didn’t give it a thought all the way home … I put down my things and went to him to give him the nicest hugest hugs avoiding of course breathing near his face lest he pick up our sugary dilemma.
Rich said, I said … I don’t know … know that the question was being asked something toward … are you so hungry we shouldn’t try taking you to bed first? Nooo not me! Take me away sir knight!
See No problems!
Pswhoo.
Eating two dinners that was tight. Lucky it was just a piece of chicken and salad. Oh man … do you see why I didn’t get on the scale today? I don’t know how long we’re going to be able to keep the truth from our baby. Maybe we can just bury a bad thing. What’s to be benefited. It was dumb. PLUS, we now have to worry ourselves about knowing these sugary bun like objects exist! Oh man! They just coat these things in sugar.
I was safe today … never left the house. How long could I keep this up? Hmm? Not sure.
We’re going to have to face it that I think there is a McDonalds down that strip of things down where the printers is … I don’t know how far down Kinko’s is … I’m not sure either how far McDonald’s is, but pretty sure there’s one down there. Ugh. Has to be a special plan. Maybe make it a goal for one of our pads. I wonder if they keep your design or you submit again. I think we spotted at least one misspelled word *sigh* Maybe we’ll improve by next time after we used … At a penny a sheet … we can afford to use some sheets without being too overly cautious. Some, but not overly. I hope they turn out good. Shhh… Obsessive again.
Ok, anything else before Rich comes home? I would like to continue again after he leaves … we just don’t set good records for that sort of thing. I don’t remember what happens next. Hmm, we got up to hmm. He was only home for a while oh and then he left – and I think we were up some, but I think we didn’t stay up real late. But we got him for like 45 minutes this morning … I think that was nice. When we sat down we realized he had left on our space his championship trophy … we’d forgotten he was going to get one!!! It WAS BEAUTIFUL!!! I hate our memory! It’s got a really neat gold script and it says that he is a champion. Oh man is he … he didn’t win it for the whole year like he did last year, but he did win the big fishy contest for that last big weekend which gets a special award. And, he’s featured a bunch a times on the special calendar … it’s really nice. I made him take it to his mother’s house to show her and Bud. It was like how many people could appreciate it so much. Of course they would be delighted to see it!
He had some fishy stories, but we didn’t have much time. One was that he sat next to his best friends mother so he got a little bit of that – though he wasn’t lookin for it. And, the second was that he got in it a little between these two guys that are playing like mad at each other. One of the guys says he might leave the club because of it. Rich was doing his best at mediating … he’s really good at that … been practicing for a really long time – especially with his family. We’re trying to figure out or not whether he is an enabler. Not sure how that word works.
I think that more people come to Rich now than they had the first years … I think he gets a reputation for being someone who will listen. At least I hope so. And, he’s pretty well known because he’s a backseater who gets around and he’s been the group’s treasurer for the last 3 years. I guess they like enough the job he’s doin. Good Rich! He’s a pretty busy guy all told. He said that everyone had someone there except about 5 of the guys out of maybe – what 15-20? I don’t really know. I don’t know enough about the GOOD details … I don’t even know how BOB did?! AHA! Fuzzy face is home!
Ok, going out on resonance for some of the good stuff … well AFTER he uses the washroom. He was going to open them curtains, BUT at 4 degrees and a windchill at 11 BELOW ZERO – there’s NO WAY I want the GIRAFFS coming in between those PAINS at 10 MPH. The curtains may make it dark, but they are to a good extent weather proof! HMPF!
JEESE … One minute in and he’s already tryin to change the setup … this could be dangerous. What should I do as a backup? Hmm, I’ve been listening to John Lennon all day – I would suppose then that the answer would be to make love not war. I’ll have to get naked! Yup yup … Just that it’s chilly AHH CHILI tonight! VERY GOOD! I think we got some crackers too. Hmm, maybe not so good for the diet. Probably have to check that weight for quite a few days. Really sugary. L
Let’s think man for a bit. Men think in boxes. So we will have to think in boxes … give him a treat. Can we ask about how is mother and bud? He went there today … that should good … unless he’s at another box. Maybe we should ask him what box is he at and if he can have company at the box or if it’s a one person box. That be a good idea. BUT, it seems he’s seen enough people he should be reporting back, shouldn’t he? Especially, if he’s going back out to get filled up again?
Hmm, weather warnings are now saying wind and all that frostbit can occur in less than 30 minutes exposure and that between now and Sunday morning wind chill is going to be between 20 to 30 below zero … oh man my man is sneezing … I better get out there … bbl
Pswhoo … back … it’s 6:30 pm. Made it!!! Rich is gone again. He went to his son’s match … I don’t think he had it in him today … not sure what was wrong … he was just hangin. I think he was tired. We did talk about boxes actually he brought it up, but it came after we had kind of an argument, but it wasn’t too bad an argument … basically, he said something like “Woman make me a drink.” And, we said, “No.” That was a little scary. It had come after a period where he’d been making dinner, we had sat at the end of the counter trying to have a conversation with him. He was tighter than one of those football ends. I had to drag every comment out of him … My whole conversation was like … well something must have happened over at your mothers … for example, did she say, “Hi Rich?” You say, “Hi Mom!” That be like something?!
It was terrible … we didn’t pre-think the drinking thing … just didn’t see it coming out of left field … he’d walked toward the bedroom to get changed out of the smoky clothes (from his mother’s place) and he stuck out his head with his get the drink command and we said no … he pushed again. Then we told him he had enough to drink. He said something like he was serious and we said so were we. If he wanted to get himself a drink he could do it himself, after helping himself to four drinks in one hour the night before, we thought he had enough to drink. He said it hadn’t been a big deal, so then we said go tell that to your mother. Hey mom I can drink 4 drinks in an hour aren’t you proud of me?!?? It’s ok, they were for free! I didn’t say it, but I could have added, I can do it just like you! That was the intended meaning I suppose. We repeat often enough … We both come from alcoholic families. We can’t afford to play around with that crap. If we are feeling like we need it, it’s got to stop.
Again … I’m not giving up drugs, smokes, food to get hooked into alcohol.
Rich had gone back in the room. We didn’t know what was going to happen and in the meantail we switched personalities to someone who was weaker … Our Ann … But, Rich came out and put his arm around her and gave her a smooch … she couldn’t talk right. Shoot now I’m crying. He said something about having one of his vitamin drinks … he was just thirsty. Then he invited us into the living room with him to sit down because he wasn’t in the mood to lie down though he had said he was tired. We sat next to him and asked him to reach for our blanket over the back of the couch. We tucked it in over our legs. We asked Rich to share the blanket, but 9 out of 10 times, like this time he turns us down. Our music was still on.
Rich reminded us of his boxes and that he had to take out his nothing box. He put his arm on the back of the couch behind us … we held the blanket trying to be very still. Eventually, the male cat came over to take our other hand and after a few minutes of petting we just held his fur quietly. Missy had settled down at the foot of the long couch. We listened to Rich breath and we softened. We became less defensive. We listened to the music. Rich had fallen asleep with his feet up on the coffee table with soft snores … after 6 or 7 minutes he awoke with a start. He said his arm had hurt … so he put it down and instead put our hand in his hand, then he went back to sleep. We were in our happy space then and we practiced not holding onto his thumb too tightly – holding it firmly, but not squeezing it. We looked over at him in case he woke up and needed us while looking around the room protectively. We listened to the songs to find meaning in the words for him – we looked over to the cats to assure they were appreciating him properly … we did all the busy things women do for their mates making sure they’re nothing space stayed uninterrupted.
I thought back in the olden days the women would have fed and bathed the kids and had them halfway to bed to have protected the space for the man when he got home – so he could have time for his nothing box. Maybe Rich needs that? But, not the “nothing martini!” That part … we’re going to need being firm. End of sentence.
Rich woke up firm after about 45 minutes. I think he smelled the Chili. He filled the bowls and I served. We talked between that time and the time where he put away the food and I started the dishwasher, and the time for him to get redressed. There wasn’t much time. There wasn’t much talk. Our big point was to make sure he realized that he wasn’t really putting himself out today at least from what I saw. He agreed it had been like that all day. He said that he didn’t really feel like going out and that he was tired and just needed to rest, but he’d also told me he’d scheduled another event – a fishing show for 3 hours the next morning with his friend. It’s not like I can help him. I can’t step back and let him have his nothing box if he isn’t in the house putting his own feet up? The Chili was very good though and he said it was enough to eat again tomorrow for the big game. I don’t know when that is tomorrow, but if plans don’t change he might see it with me. Maybe? I don’t know … know that he has to have quiet time while in his own house too. We’re trying.
There was one other small frustration point that came up before he left though. It was late during his time home … and someone had gotten a little too frustrated with his needs. We’d said out loud, “Well, we’re doing fine too.” Basically. Thanks for asking how we’re doing, or asking how our day had gone or what we’d done. He said, well I already know … you did computer. We repeated … We did computer? Yes, you stared at the computer at patterns and designs … Umm, maybe once, but that was quite some time ago. We write on the computer and do other things, and when we write – we write about different things? So then he asked something like so what did you do with the computer today … we said … we stared at it.
HMPF … no room to continue there. Then we were pretty cranky … so we said … oh yeah … we also spent money … We spent $6 … He said then you spent too much because you don’t have that kind of money to spend. I said we ONLY spent $SIX ENTIRE DOLLARS!!! HOW CAN THAT BE TOO MUCH DOLLARS …. He sent back because you have no money to spare … then the topic was changed. He never asked what we spent the money on. We never volunteered.
We complained when he left out the door because he wasn’t putting on his gloves because the weather wind chill was below 20-30 degrees. He said he didn’t need the gloves. I said that hypothermia could occur when … he said he’d dodge in the closest store and call us.
We were still smooching … actually, we got two sets of smooches, but it didn’t exactly feel like we won many rounds tonight - too many small arguments. I didn’t feel real important because he wasn’t in any gear to share space with me, or listen to anything about my space, even though I had felt I’d sacrificed by being alone in my space all day. I made one suggestion that he continue cooking after I couldn’t eat the food and just take some over to Bob after negotiating costs so that these kinds of meals or cooking abilities wouldn’t go to waste. I hope he could appreciate the statement. Basically, I could be alone a lot, but I didn’t want to see him going through it … I think it is hard for him to be alone although it is tiring for him to be with people all the time. Maybe if or when Rich is to become healthier – he’ll have to learn to spend more time being alone and comfortable spending time in his own space. Really truly relax. I bet he could do it. Sort of all this relaxing he’s been talking about.
Rich has been talking about retirement communities.
Oh man … it’s some time later now … we’ll talk in the morning … we looked at retirement places, then Rich came home and we looked together, then we looked at Google maps and well enjoy this one … it’s Ontario, Canada where he’s going fishing – the red circle is base camp hehehe.
posted by Ann Marie @ 1/20/2008 03:43:00 AM
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