Umm ... it's about Thom ... and about Marines?
Ok, … like good morning … and all that too many thoughts going on right now. It’s 7:46 am and we’re at work. We got here about 20 minutes ago and have been talking to Candice mostly about my stuff this time. We’ve been trying to process.Last night I had called Maury to see how he’s been doing and he jumped me to something he though I should hear about. He said Thom is going to join the Marines. I said, “WHAT?!” And, then I pulled off the road and parked probably for a long time, but I don’t know how long. I talked to both of the boys. Man. Life changes on a dime.
Ahh … Margarita just came in with pictures of her grandchild … Deangelo. This was Mirza’s son. I don’t know much about all of that, but I made sure to thank her for showing us the pictures. This was the first time since he’s been born that we’ve heard or seen anything from him. She’s very proud and I can see why … He’s very gorgeous. It must have been something for Margarita to have brought it this far. She’s so secretive of her life now days. It was nice for her to go this far out of her shell. I’m glad she did.
I told her Thom went into the Marines yesterday. She said “Ohhh” in a nice way … then we went over as we usually do … is that the young one? No the middle one. What about the little one? Is he still at the University? No, he is done. He graduated … he is working. She wasn’t understanding his job, but maybe this time she understood that he’s done from school. We’ll see. Then we went back to how adorable her grandson was. He’s really a charmer … he’s already 2 months old. Or, at least was in the pictures. I think now he is 3 months old.
Good Margarita.
Anyway … as to the other … we’ve talked to Rich about it, but he was getting a back rub and he closed his eyes and listened and he wasn’t asking questions so I couldn’t remember much about what was said. I’m most frustrated that Maury gave us this very literal literated list of reasons why the marines would be good for Thom and I couldn’t remember the first one or any of the others – although as he was going down the list we were listening carefully and agreeing with each one. I think that the boys are each adjusting … both Maury and Thom says that Joe has been the slowest to come around … I think that Maury is worried about Thom in that he expressed concern for his safety … he went through this carefully one slow step thought out at a time thought process of Bob helping Thom work through a job that was the safest and state side and such, but then I talked to both Thom and Maury and we stated pretty clearly I thought that that was Bob’s style and it wasn’t Thom’s style and as much as I wanted Thom to be safe … he wasn’t a Bob type person and that he would have to find his own niche. As considerate as it was and brotherly in that connected manner it was … Thom should listen to the full array of options the recruiter was going to offer him … not that Thom wouldn’t, but that it be known he would.
I didn’t want to hurt Maury’s feelings because he was doing so good a job worrying about his brother – protecting him. It’s just that Bob – isn’t Thom. Thom isn’t Bob. There experience is going to be very different. Maury’s trying already to grab a base … that’s fair, just Thom will have more options than Bob, because he’s that much “bigger” a person – and yes, that could be said, because I’m Thom’s mother and not Bob’s … sorry Bob … that’s just how mother’s think.
Anyway. That was my only concern. Maury gave me all the careful details of what was going on the basics, but then I had to hear the actual things from Thom’s perspective. Maury said to call Thom, but then he said that his father and grandmother didn’t know yet. I wondered for a second if I shouldn’t wait for Thom to call me. But, then Maury said go ahead and called. I think it was too much pressure on Maury. Maury said he would take any fall-out later. After I talked to Thom I did call Maury and I told him Thom did say something about Maury not being able to keep things to himself, but that was it and that he actually fine with the conversation. He just wanted to make sure that I wasn’t going to try to talk him out of it.
I told Thom that the last time that he wanted to enroll I had taken him and then afterward, he had scolded me saying I can’t believe you were going to let me do that with my life. I said I didn’t stop you then and I’m not going to stop you know so you better know what you are doing. This is going to be your decision. I think he knew I was serious … we have that kind of communication … he knows we’re real in that manner. I did ask him if he was planning on telling us … and that Mom’s should have a right to know something and was he going to ship out without saying something? Maybe he got our point.
Within a few moments though he said something as an intro to the subject that it was ok and that if he died that the family would get $400,000 life insurance. And, I said STOP that is not the thing that is the most important and certainly not the first thing that I want to or that HE should be thinking about. I want to hear about how he wants to LIVE. Anyway … that point past … we went into other details that we’ll talk about here over time. I have to slow down and think through my privacy barriers. I don’t know what to do there. This seems pretty major as something I have to write about. My mind is just going wild in thought. I was thankful that Candice talked for that 20 minutes. It was in and out of other conversation and we made sure to include her in it so she wouldn’t turn it off, but then soon enough she turned it off saying … whoa, you are think way too far into it, but we said this is just our first 24 hours into it and that first and foremost we’re a mother … and mothers do this kind of thing we worry.
I think most of the time we worry in perspective. I think … Ok, this son has it in control … he’s doing ok. This one is here, the other here … the granddaughter is in school … the other with her grandmother … I trust all those situations nothing to worry about, but now this is different too many open variables. The boys said that Thom took the Marine’s pre-test and that he scored in the 90’s so that meant to the recruiter and them that Thom could get “any job that he wanted” so they said, but what does that mean?
I looked at their web site. But that scared me. I think Thom will become a computer person … I’d like to think that it won’t be in a scary place, but Thom seems ready to go to scary places if the army thinks he should go somewhere. He wants to be the best. I just read the part on leadership … they said you qualify for training if you have a bachelors or if your are working toward your degree in an accredited 4 year university. I don’t think Thom would qualify, because his school was Devry … the courses will transfer over, but it’s not four year – right?
They have a pre-training place to help you get in shape … I don’t know how good Thom’s shape is, but I know of course that it can be better. I think Joe said that Thom is out of shape … I think he might be eating garbage food … too much pizza.
I told Rich that I think the Marines will teach Thom to love his Mom … I think that he already loves his Mom, but I think the relationship will change. I think that it will become more obvious that I have a role in Thom’s life … because in general people in the service rely more on their moms especially if they aren’t married, or got girls. I hope Thom doesn’t get into a rushed marriage. Maybe he’s that sensible. We told Rich that we have to learn how to make cookies so that we could send him stuff.
Damm … I’m lofting … need to do some work 9:19 am.
posted by Ann Marie @ 1/19/2008 03:42:00 AM
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