On the way to the boys ...
Good morning. This is me … I know weren’t we just here? AHA! You remember then … very good …
I know same rumpled shirt … at this point it is just something to be worn on top to prevent the chills. We’re thinking we better jump in the shower soon, so that doesn’t get lost with the day. But, by now Missy has settled over my arms so we’re thinking best not to upset the cart. Yah yah … if not that then something close to it. Bottom line we’re probably not moving for 45 minutes until its time to take the medicine. *Sigh* That’s just the way it works. I think from yesterday I was supposed to be doing something this morning besides leave at 10:15 am for Maury’s.
Maybe more of the grant reading? Maybe we should just count that in now. We read for about 2 ½ lasts night, so that means that we go back to reading from 7:30-10:00 to get in the next 2 ½ hours bumping us to 5. I really do owe fishyman that much and probably more. Well, not too much more … we figure bare minimum is that instead of paying our regular cost of $22, that he is getting us for $10, which is half our value. Can’t say too much though, because we are still a student grant writer.
But, since there is only $200 being handed over that’s four weeks times 5 hours each week. We’re going to hold to those figures … that would be unless he can convince me that there is extra money being saved off my labor that is going toward purchasing a house. I would consider that a good savings.
Don’t mean to get stingy, but I do want to hear that I’m valued to some degree. I know, I know … I’m valued, but I know too we went through that with the marriage.
Only in that relationship I was worth at least $500 a month. Not a whole lot, but still more especially by old standards of money compared to new. I just don’t want to feel used and abused. It’s bad enough that I’m being asked to pen the project under his name. I’m still not convinced Sr. isn’t going to see through that, because I’m sure she knows my writing style, but Rich wants to perpetuate untruths *sigh* but, then same for me cuz we are agreeing to it. I’m not sure that we would like it so much that he get caught, but I’m so sure Sister is going to recognize us that I hope he decides to come clean and say that he’s hired us. But, then I think he’s afraid why would he be needed if I could do all the work. I think he could get by with he is supervising me, but then from what I’m reading of the grant material – it is the one who knows what is going on that facilitates the meeting. I don’t know maybe it will be my chore then to direct him to be giving me ideas … and then he could say that it is a good part his grant proposals and I’m just filling in his words. I don’t think it will be that clean, but then he gets the respect for being a grant-seeker “in-charge.” I don’t know … I would like to think my hunnybunny doesn’t lie, just what would it be called if he were underpaying me AND not giving me credit for my work. Isn’t that then like stealing? What about the part where I do stuff because I love him? I do love him, but I don’t want to go back to giving myself away for free and for invisible. Where’s the honor in that? Ok, we better get off that point. I don’t think its helping us and it is bringing us down.
Damn … we go down too far? Feel like wanting to sleep again. Shoot, shoot … got too much to do to sleep right now. Please, lets not do that? Maybe a nice warm shower?
How about we take our medicine 20 minutes early? That’s not too much, hmm?
Umm, this is us … we didn’t make it … it’ now almost 9 am. We just woke up.
For better or worse I guess there wasn’t much option it had to be a nap. This is frustrating to us, but we have to be ok with it. Cuz it happened for real.
I think this might be a good day to be missing. The neighbors across the hall are moving and they are making a lot of noise and doing a lot of bumping against walls.
I don’t know why they are moving, but it has to be ok, because I also can’t do anything about that. Hmm, seems like we’re in a little repeaty mood. I can hear them talking out there, I thought I heard one try to open my door and the pictures have been bouncing off the wall. I have an unsettling feeling they are going to come into my apartment at any time. Shoot, now we’re starting to scare ourselves we better stop.
Let’s switch over to the part where we had a very specific dream right before we woke up … well actually the dream was happening for a while and the last part was about needing to find a bathroom. So, our bathroom dreams continue. The dream was about being on our own, and then there was this part about having kids, but they were told at the end by what appeared to be my parents that they couldn’t go with me. We didn’t have a place to live because we were kicked out of school or something … but then, they were tired of having us too, and we didn’t have anyplace to go. So, we planned to take a vacation for the rest of our life where we were going to travel, work, live, and then travel again until we worked our way around the United States. Toward the end, we had gotten some kind of mobile home, but it was very rough. It was more like a couple of boxes and it had homemade elements and things like coolers for fridges lawn chairs for furniture, and folding toilets that had to be cleaned manually. I remember rows of bottles that and glass window/mirrors both stacked up and precariously in danger of falling and breaking.
I also remember a speaker system made up of odd sets of speakers and there were wires everywhere. I think someone had done me a favor … most likely my father in arranging all of this and we were feeling adventurous and ready to leave so it was ok.
There was a hard part of trying to find clothes in my mother’s closet which was a terror of childhood .. Trying to look for SOMETHING that was clean and of the right size. Think we found enough for two bags that looked sort of like the bag that Rich forgot over the weekend. I think we grabbed a lot of shoes that were new and hadn’t been taken out of the boxes, which reminds me we have a new pair of shoes we haven’t tried yet. Hmm. How’d that happen. Anyway I think one last thought was the feeling that we were free. We worried about fitting in at the different places we might live … like understanding the dialogue or coping with the weather changes. We figured we had to be ok though, because there wasn’t any other choices.
Hmm, think we’ve had enough of all that … it’s harder and harder to remember because we are being distracted with thoughts of the people moving and needing to get in the shower, etc. Our agenda is moving on. Maybe if we get in and out of the shower, we’ll have the opportunity to write a little more. We’re in that hard transition place where we are kind of afraid of moving on or past the part where we can be here just writing our thoughts. It’s going to be ok, right? Man this is going to be tough … But, we’re leaving in an hour, so it is a good time to progress. Take a deep breath. Ok, now you know what you have to do … let’s get that shower going.
K???!
Woo HOO!!! Shower done, and we’re dressed for the day.
We’re wearing the new purple striped shirt and the new blue jean skirt and new shoes. I’m kind of feeling the differences in wearing new clothes, but I’m sure it will be fine. Especially, after our hair dries and is put up. We’re not sure how hot it is, but I should be fine whether it is hotter or colder. This is what happens when in the lap of luxury being the air conditioning. AHA! Forgot almost need to feed Rich’s flowers … brb.
Ahh good, good … they are doing fine. It was hard getting out there, because we were only partially dressed. But, they are doing fine now.
We’ve got about a half an hour to finish before we are on our way. I think we’re pushing the kind of early button, but we wanted to follow the schedule we usually keep with Joe, and we wanted to be back in time to be here and have the place picked up for Rich. Homecoming!!! Hehehe after he takes a shower all is good. I hope he’s having a good morning and right at this very moment has a big fish on the line!
Rich called last night right after dinner to check in on us. But, it also gives us a chance to check in with him. He seemed kind of down. He said he’d been catching fish, but not weighing in enough so that he was 5th place. He really sounded down.
He said the others out fished him including Bob. He said he had a big one on the line, but he let it get away. We scolded him for punishing himself. He said he was tired, but that the guys were getting together for a card night. Maybe he could win that? Last time he played he came out $50 ahead. That was a good night. He said also that he was getting up at 4:30 am so he could be fishing by 5:30 am. I think another reason he was down was that because of that thing that happens when things aren’t set up quite right and things get held in causing tummy problems. We told him how successful we’d been hoping to encourage him on … Basically, the team of us is pulling the both of us forward, just like boat fisherman in each boat fishes count toward the one score. That way team work is accomplished. YAYYY!
Ok, 20 years from now he’s probably going to be glad we talked about his tummy problem in a blog that was turned to book and made millions hehehe. Poor fishyman.
We teased about how the conversations have turned and become more graphic as we age. Let me tell you about the age of 48 things just starting to heat up! We’re thinking this is going to be a very good year for intimacy!
Hmm, I should be thinking … is there anything I can bring for Maury or the girls? I think Joe is covered.
Hmm, just read over the note to Joe’s Sensei … I was pretty specific about being available on Thursday. He didn’t confirm, but we were there. He also hasn’t answered back the two phone calls. I think this is really up to him. I am wondering if I shouldn’t give Joe the money and ask him to work it out with his Sensei … We’re thinking about $350 now. $50 for each of the first two gifts and another $250 for the Samurai sword. Maybe it will work out that Joe gets to help pick out his gifts. I think if I stopped by the bank, we could have the cash ready for him. I know it’s a better chance that he’ll find Sensei Steve before we will.
Hmm, I just need a cash station. AHA! There is a bank station ATM thingy at the 7-11 down the street. That seems like a good idea.
Maybe I could pick up something there for Maury and the girls? I could get $180, I’ve got the first $200, that would give me $30 for the other. I don’t really want to buy pop although that’s a thought, because … Hmm. What happened if I just gave him Cash. Maybe I can pick up $200 and give Joe the $350, Maury $40, and me $10.
Hopefully someone will have change for a $20. I think I can swing $200 from my account though something won’t get paid. We are just a week from the next pay check, but that’s the one to cover the rent and car. Hmm, that sounds like a plan the worst thing that could happen is that Maury gets an extra $20, I get nothing and Joe is down to $340. I hope he is not going to change his mind and take the money for something else. I wouldn’t mind another karate gift, but I don’t want it for something that isn’t symbolic of his Karate Journey. I really want the gift to go to Sensei Joe. Maury will be good with the extra cash, we will recommend that he takes Lauren out for dinner. Hmm, if I had $10 I could spend it on something edible for the girls that isn’t bad for them. Hmm, going to a 7-11 … what could that be.
I’m thinking here slurpees, but I don’t know how well they would last. My ex MIL used to bring Entemann’s cookies, but that didn’t help in the long run. I want something Maury would let them eat right away … well not to spoil there dinner, but I want it at Issa’s level. I think we could get by with animal crackers if they had them, but then I would need something older for Ame. What could I get her. Hmm, maybe if I look around it would come to me. We’ll have to see. YEEKS! It’s already 10:12 … We’ll want to post, better get this show on the road!
posted by Ann Marie @ 7/22/2007 10:15:00 AM
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