This is Monday the 30th ... an idea is brewing
Good Morning. It’s me. Just regular bubbly going to wake-up the fishy man person here. Going to give him all the way to 5 am though, because he was up late last night with his son. *Big yawn* Soooo, we’ve been up for about 45 minutes getting started. It took me almost all that time to get up and get the coffee. I’m so glad I did! I was up too waiting on the call to be completed. I could only hear periodic words of bunny spoke more loudly, and rarely more than 2 words put together. I knew he was talking to his older son and I heard “your mother.” Rich said afterward that his son was working through the concept of his parent’s divorcing and that he’d had problems somehow associated with his religion. I think that Jon had been overwhelmed. I can see the response in Rich. It puts him into that father mode, where he is going to be that more cautious. He talked about maybe stopping down at Jon’s overnight on his way to see his daughter. So, he will leave Wednesday night instead of Thursday morning. It’s a teensy bit harder for me, but very worthwhile for Jon. His father has been worried because Jon hasn’t been very vocal over the last 3-4 weeks. I’m glad that Rich can do these sorts of things. I worry though about his worrying. Not that he worries, because after all these are his kids, but that I can’t help him enough.
Maybe in my own way, I help Rich, but do not help his kids other than helping Rich stay sane. There’s this funny part in that although this big change has come over, I have the least problem with it, then Rich, because Rich has been with us for so long it’s quite natural for him to be ok outside the marriage. But, it isn’t so long since all his family has to deal with his separation from his wife and their mother. I hope in the long run I will prove out to be much healthier for him than not, even though we consider ourselves sometimes not worthy of his relating to us.
I’d really, really like to think that the effect of Rich being happy and our efforts of treating him well will serve all in that he can better care for his family.
Ahh, but for now … it’s time to wake lion heart up.
Hehehe … that didn’t work so well … he’s too tired. I know its Monday morning and he has to get up, but he needs to make-up for that hour of sleep he lost last night. Ahh, it gave me a chance to give Missy a good pet. She’s holding pretty steady at that 10 minute specialty set she gets about now. Kind of lulled us a bit. I am hesitant to get in the shower first thing, because I don’t want to use up hunny bunny’s water, but maybe I could slip on my shoes and try a little bit of walking? Hmm? How’s those chapped places? I don’t mean to aggravate them. Hmm, maybe we should wait for shower and powder … don’t want to upset things more than necessary.
Shoot, fell into a little tired spell now myself. Maybe what I’ll do is go in in about 5 minutes, and if honey can’t get up, we’ll lay down with him. Hmm, but then that will lead to our snoring. Can’t have that? My poor sweetie pie.
AHA! We’re back … it took 35 minutes, but mission accomplished bunny bear is up!
Ahh definitely headed for the shower. Thadda boy … he’s in, he’s in!
Just looking at the scores here … we need to get into the mode of having bunny check his numbers too. Might as well start watching the heart stuff. It looks like I have the lower blood pressure, but he has the better pulse. I think that means that he’s using his heart more efficiently. Yesterday by a difference first thing in the morning of 27 points. That’s pretty significant. In all 29% more efficient.
That’s almost a 1/3! Today, we were much better at 66 – that’s about where his was yesterday. I think yesterday my pulse had been checked after some slight up movement, so I go from good to bad very quickly. We’ll be looking forward to correcting that. Means showered, powered, and up! Maybe we’ll put on the shorts he talked about yesterday this morning. That’s not a bad idea, right? It looks a little cooler, but we’ll try to be doing some exercising today … Maybe we’ll have to
bring a small powder with us? Hmm, I think we’d left a little bag in our suitcase.
I think we’ll retrieve that. I’d like to walk in the wooded area today, but we don’t have that area really marked. I have to think through it being ok to wait by the side of a path or road with the chair and not panic anyone to thinking that there’s a big problem. I think it would be encouraging to be in nature again. We used to love the woods. Remember running along the trail and feeling like a million bucks. Light and free. Damn that was a nice memory. It’s not too late? Plenty of runners older than us. It’s going to take some chocolate cake free hours.
Whoops, think bunnies almost dressed?
Ok ok … bunny’s left the building. Good bunny. Hmm, now Chief is waking up … he says that sure was a lot of commotion. Whoops got more meters to read. Hold on.
Hmm, naughty kitty wants tooooo much attention. He wants to not settle down. We’ve got things to do kitty! Hmm, he’s now sitting in front of us, but with his back turned. Hmpf! Silly cat!
Let’s move on and hope he settles in. He’s got to realize that he can be there, but we’re not going to pet him or crawl back to bed with him. That would be a bad Ann.
Actually, good Ann should be taking her shower, Hmm?
Ok, here we go … someone’s up and showered … It’s a few minute to 8 am … I think we’re going to set our timer. Good 8:15 am we are going to do some walking. Hmm, I think we’re going to earlier than not follow the path we went to Joe’s yesterday … somewhere I think before Cermak, we saw an opening to a forest preserve. I’d really like to try that out. I need to be back before this afternoon, because we’ve got the cable guy coming again and we have to be here for sure. Maybe we’ll do one treadmill and then wait about an hour and then do the next one in the park. That will give us an idea whether or not we’ll be able to withstand the chafing feeling.
I think it will be better now than before because we are wearing the fitting shorts. Rich says we need something to absorb the moisture and these seem to fit.
Oh dear … we forgot that we should be doing laundry? Nah … we’ll do it next weekend. I think we have enough, but it be especially good to get in the shorts as soon as we were home for work and then go out to the paths. We’ll see … one thing at a time we’ll check ability on tread mill first.
Ahh … little rest room stop there. Pswhoo. Good Ann.
Just a few more minutes. We’re psyched right! It’ll be ok … and then when we get back there will be this nice cool fan Sweetie Pie set up. We can do this … just going to take some effort. Ok, anything for this last moment? Hey girls … it’s not like this is the end of the world or nuthin. I know Dr. Marvin says we got to take care of each other. This is a good thing girls. Exercise will make us more able to do things, you know? We are going to be a “good Ann” again. Not just for Sweetie, but for us too. We need to want to be here. I know we’ll talk later, but for now?
Let’s check it out, k? Go ahead.
Ok, that was ok, not great … I don’t know about going to the park. That seemed pretty hard. But, if we don’t go, we’re not going to improve. Ok. Then it’s settled … we at least try to get out about 9 am. That gives us a little over a half hour. I think we should time ourselves to be out for about an hour. That way when we get to the half hour mark – maybe 25 minutes then we can come back. Rich showed us last night a park with benches and such that we could go to. It was a baseball park, but it would mean doing laps and I really don’t want to do that. I know that the forest preserve can be the same, but there won’t be all those houses and cars looking at me. I think Rich is working very hard to come up with an alternative for me where we won’t be needing to use the wheelchair and as admirable as that is, we’ve come up with a means to be taking care of ourselves, and that’s what we’re going to do.
Ok, good … we made a couple payments. We did the car and rent and it seems we have about $133 left over. I am going to need to get fruit by tomorrow and maybe next time out get some gas. I should have done that yesterday, but I didn’t really think of it. At least we’re back to being able to use the card and that will make it easier to fill up. Taking in dollars and to avoid the second tempting trip back into the store, we were guessing and then rounding the dollar payment and not always filling up the car. I would like to get another car wash too. I might be obsessive with getting one each week or two, but there is a very big factor of pride in having a shiny new car. Maybe I can do that on my way back from the nature walk. WooHOO I like that … hmm? Nature walk, you are getting into this aren’t you girl? Very good.
Ahh Maury signed on … kind of late in the day for him. Hope everything is ok.
Sure would be nice to gain on the week by stabilizing under 320 calories. I think we can do this. I think a big part is getting us out into areas we would like to be putting ourselves. Some excitement with a walk in the woods. We used to do it during various times of our life. But, this is going to be really the first time of doing it on our own. You know without a coach or anyone pushing you. I look at our face now and think of it as our fat face.
We’re going to fix that right? Be nice to see who we can uncover. We should shoot for another goal of Doing the Performance Factor today and certainly lets go for no transgressions. Hmm, that seems to come from the Latin “transgression,” which means an act of crossing, passing over. That must be then like an act of crossing over our path into the briar bushes and passing over our goals. Maybe it is a good thing to affiliate God into that, because in all reality it would be him we have transgressed from. Also we seem to be tying in trespass against. It’s really His gift that I’ve abused.
AHA! Boy that will do the trick … we had a picture of Rich up and so we went in and made him a big picture on our desktop. It’s the one he’s sitting at work giving us that all knowing look of I got faith in you! And, it shares that thought with his … you’re kinda cute kid! Hehehe Silly Ann. I don’t think he’s going to like it, but I love it! Because of the size of the screen, he’s almost lifelike in size. That be like him reminding us all the time to do what we’re supposed to be doing. Like the walk in a little bit? You know it! That’s a good girl. Oh man the picture is so good … He’s just staring straight at me. It’s this one. Hehehe Isn’t is so wonderful. I’d follow this guy off the edge of the Earth.
How could you not fall in love with that face. And, the eyes! Oh Lordy have mercy on me. It’s like he’s really here. Hmm, he would be saying, “Ahem” don’t you have some school work to be doing? And, then I would say yes Sweetie Pie right after we walk. What are you waiting for? Do I really need to wait another 9 minutes? Not really. Still cool out … why don’t we get out there before the sun starts warming everything up, ok? Good girl … Sweetie Pie would like that.
Go ahead, we’ll wait for you!
AHA! This is the person who walked 2015 steps!!! That’s 110 calories and .63 miles wooHOOO!!! Thing is I think I can do some more … Man-o-man … what a fabulous walk that was.
Pshwoo … just got done publishing the new pictures to my few loves. Right now that includes Maury, Joe, Rich, Deb, V, and Dr. Marvin. I’m think V wouldn’t mind. It seems that talking right now is hard between us so maybe just pictures so he can see a little of my world. Because it’s so terrific. I hope he’s ok … seems so out of sync. But, maybe one day he’ll be back.
Wow, do I love that new picture of Rich … and its on both screens though hiding now behind the Word doc I’m typing. It’s like having a part of him here … I feel sort of like a blush, because I’m well, we’re trying not to be lesser than him, but rather his equal, but it’s so hard because he is so good.
I know, I know … need to keep things in perspective. I’d like to say a little more about the day though. First as far as Rich being here this morning, it seemed to work out pretty good. He had a couple of fast cups of coffee with us and was out the door. I know he had an important meeting this morning at 8:30 am. It seems so gosh darn normal sharing the morning with him like this. We did something last night that was interesting too. We drove around and looked at apartments that might be for sale. He says it could happen any time from a year to tomorrow that he might buy. I think he gained from us a perspective of what we would think as acceptable and he gave us ideas on what he would like as acceptable. I reminded him that I didn’t want to move into something lesser than I already had. And, then I explained that I still wanted a balcony and a living room large enough for my couch. He seemed to understand all that almost introspectively. I am glad he’s not in a rush, but then I’ve seen this thing come about like with our ex. We too used to drive around looking. He had found the Douglas house on him own and then introduced me to the idea. I didn’t see it at first, but then he pointed out the detailing in the brackets and such, I was pretty much taken with it from the start, but I didn’t like the idea of being in only part of the house. He assisted though because the first thing we did was to knock down the wall between the upstairs two apartments. So, it really was a nice size. We also took the upstairs, because then that gave access to the attic, which was a huge wonderful space. It took a while to get ready, but that became the family room and it was really something.
Now looking with Rich I have those feelings of anxiety, in that he’s buying a place for him, with consideration toward me. I asked how it felt to be looking at an apartment building rather than a house. I don’t recall the answer, it was probably in little parts. But, it seems he feels very sure that he’s interested in a three flat with one floor for him and one floor for us. Maybe he is looking into the future for an investment. I could see that, and I guess he really is working toward getting his own place. Since it’s going to be his, I would recommend though toward the back investing in a circular stairway to get from his space to our space, or something like that so it’s more internal. I figure that together, we would actually own a very nice big place. And, it would change in attitude from going to my space from his place, or back and forth. I know he is really put off by the parking here, and I think very much he’s the kind of guy that would want his garage, but he hasn’t mentioned all that. I do think he’s thinking about barbequing and how we really can’t do that here. He said well, we don’t need the extra calories, but then after eating rib tips, he made an argument that the sauce isn’t much more calories than the ketchup. Hehehe ok, works for me!
We would need some kind of understanding that we could go downstairs to his place and do those waking up routines. You know, like this morning where we cuddled him to pieces. I would still like to share coffee with him in the morning, but I wouldn’t mind if he came to my place, or I went to his place. I would look forward to being in his space, like I look forward to being in his bedroom. I’m really kind of honored that he would buy a place just so the two of us could have our own space, but still be so close. I don’t know who would inhabit the upstairs, but I like the option that it could possibly even be one of the kids. I’m thinking of either Joe or Chris, or if Jillian would ever come back. Maybe it would be too close for family, but it would actually be neat to have that option. You know that feeling of taking care. I’m thinking now of my uncle who had built his cottage, and then bought the place next store, and one more so that his family would have plenty of room to vacation together. It’s going to be very important that I maintain my income and ability to take care of myself. I don’t want that pressed on him. Plus, we’re pretty sure, he would appreciate having his own stately bathroom. Hehehe just think he’s so close to having his very own place. He’s talked some of the furniture. He will get back his mother’s bedroom set, and he will get the things in the family room, so that will be the start of his living space. He’s going to need a second bedroom for visiting kids and he’s going to need kitchen and dining room things. I think he just bought a nice dining room table, but he didn’t think his wife was going to want to give that up. It will be good for the kids to see some kind of familiarity when they go to his place. And, I like that I will have my own place if he chose privacy to be meeting his family. Maybe we could start slowly like he’ll invite me down for dinner or something. And, then I can disappear when they need more time together. It would be the same for our boys. Hehehe except in that case, I would hope that Rich would volunteer to cook. I don’t think that Rich will be getting any cats or dogs. He BETTER allow pets in his building!
Hmm, I’m worried a little now in that … Rich thought this morning he was loosing a bit of a crown. I hope that with all his plans, it includes getting in to see the dentist. I think he’s avoiding, because he says there is more work in there to do.
Maybe we’ll have to reiterate to him that teeth come before buying a new place. It worried me a little when I heard him say that he was thinking of hiring a realtor.
It sure would have been easier if the folks from across the way would move out and Rich could just stay put without the real estate investment. I know that I will move with him if he asks, but I sure do hate the thought of giving up this place.
Maybe too he could appreciate that the lease is until the end of October. That would give all of us some kind of transition time. If I had a choice? I would want a couple of cottages around a lake area. Maybe someday we’ll build toward that as a retirement. I think he’s going to need some of that money that should come from his place. The wife says she wants a couple of years to live there, but you can never tell. I think this is the kind of person who might try to marry again, but she’s looney enough to think it might not happen soon.
I feel real solid at the moment of being on my own in an apartment adjoining his … I still would like an inner connection. I never thought to ask, I’ve always been kind of a top bunk person. I hope he’s going to want the place below me. I like to be up in the air. We saw some real interesting places around Brookfield. There were a lot more of the three flats than I had imagined. I’m not so impressed with the size of all of them. And, not as many had balconies. I don’t use ours all the time, but I very much, very much appreciate that it is there and I always have the option of walking outside.
Rich now wants to look into getting some kind of privacy dividers. And, he would like to do some planting out there … I forget the flower, but he mentioned having a couple of rose bushes. That’s pretty spectacular thinking. It will give him something to parent too! There really isn’t a lot of space out there … so I’m not sure if it will be all worthwhile before he decides to leave. He is saying something either in a 3 paneled room divider or bamboo-type curtains that will roll down from the roof. I think that in doing so you ruin the chance of having a view, but I can understand his concerns.
It would still be an interesting idea if some kind of double home arrangement could be found that would have some kind of greenery. I would hate for either set of kids to think that we were living in less class than had been established. I really think our apartment is very nice. Ahh, but those big baby blues. They entrance the hell out of me! I don’t know there seems to be a little part of me that is thinking ahead and feels the urge to be making plans. I know that he has to get his furniture out probably sooner than later. He talked last night of his family having a garage sale. Like yikes, what of his could they be giving away and what do they have that’s being considered “junked,” but hopeful to bring in a profit. My concept of all that is use whatever you have until it breaks down and then throw it away.
If you really have something of value offer it first to the kids. Those eyes lookin
posted by Ann Marie @ 5/05/2007 11:07:00 AM
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