Yes, Good Friday
Good morning. This was me a little while ago and now this is me
We’ve had our morning spell. I woke up about 5 am this morning and now it is about 9 am. You can maybe tell that Chief has taken up residency. We’ve also taken a shower and gotten dressed. We’ve had a very nice meeting with Sweetie Pie. First of the day after he used the washroom, we went in his bedroom and rubbed his back until he got ready for the shower, and then I think we talked in the kitchen as I took my medicine and he opened his briefcase and computer after a small bit and we came up with a new term called “shifting.” When someone has to shift gears and do something else … he just says shifting and the other person gives him space. So, he worked for an hour in the kitchen and we used the time for computer and dressing.
Mostly, though we’re still reading through the work from yesterday. After his hour and his one major quote was done, then we talked for a little bit longer … umm maybe almost an hour while he was eating his banana and chocolate … well not the whole time. His daughter called within that space too. And its now 9 am.
We’re such talky people there’s so much thought to go into things. Where we last left off was because of something he had to talk over with his daughter too. His wife is spreading around some bad stuff. Hmm, better write a letter to Maury.
Dear Maury,
I just wanted to say hi and to pass on something because it indirectly affects you in a distant way. Rich's wife ... we're just calling her the woman that is well I don't know what the term is, but she's kind of off-balanced. She's spreading around that Rich and I had kids together and that you or your brothers could be Rich's kids. It's making me laugh, but at the same time I know they’re going through something that would make a nice tabloid splash, but isn't based in reality.
For the record, I never had anyone's kids but your dad's, we only had 3 and by the time we met Rich January of 1993 you, me and your brothers were all living in the River Grove apartment. I don't think this is going to be critical information ... we can just chalk it up to the woman is daffy. But, of course then all the kids consider who there "REAL" family is. Rich had asked how she knew we had kids, but that AOL journal started of with a picture of grandchildren back in 2005. Since then again the blogs were put private. His daughter's questions this morning was like the other two kids ... how many kids do I have, how old are they, are they boys or girls. Rich is trying to downplay and redirect, but I think this is valid questioning of the kids. They are trying to reconstruct their history.
They also might have seen the picture of Joe boxing and heard your voice. The video had the titles at the end as being Joe Garvey, and Maury Garvey. Now, if I was looking at those pictures and the picture of Isa, I would want them to be related to me too. Because they are ADORABLE!!!!! And, the guys are macho! But no ... You guys were 13, 11, and 9 when I met Rich. K? I think I told you about Rich about 1997 while I was up in MN so by then you would have been 17, 15, and 13. You've all known then of Rich for 10 of the 14 years of us knowing each other. After that first 4 years of deceit and other than that one ... I've never told you all something that was untrue. I think we have a very honest relationship. That is with all of you and me. So as soapworthy as it might be ... He's only got 3 kids, I only have 3 kids and we together have 0 kids. I had a tubiligation a day after Joe was born....
Ok, now that that is cleared. Will go back to thinking ... the woman is daffy and we're just starting to here the beginning of it. it's going to be a long trip.
I love you,
Mom
Joe got another copy of it with it directed the right way to him. I think the way my boys view it is as a curiosity. I know Rich and I aren’t going to get married, but this is sort of a blending of the relationships. So it is like the boys have a step-family. Hmm, how should we rephrase this … Rich and us are best buddies and we’re room mates … umm his kids don’t know that though mine do. I’ve long considered myself a mistress, but Rich has framed it as friends. So, then by default I would say Rich’s and our kids our step-friends. Woo Hooo, I like that.
The relationship of all the kids are then Step-friends. They’ll probably have to question our sanity too, but eventually whatever will happen will happen.
So, that is that … I hope the woman moves quickly through these phases. Although, in being honest, I have to admit if this all we’re told to me, I might be this same looney. It’s just that if Rich had told me … then I would believe him. There has been times when I’ve questioned Rich’s honesty, but the way we’ve kept our relationship truthful is that he’s not told me whatever it is that he does at home to preserve the privacy of his and his wife’s relationship. So, he wasn’t put on to lie … it was just considered privileged information, or in a sense it was classified. I see no purpose in him not relaying that thought to his kids if he isn’t ready to answer them honestly. I think like those first four years were for me that I thought I was protecting the kids or telling them only what I thought they could handle. Plus, at the time, we were very discretionary. Sometimes we would fool around at work, but it was kept to a minimum. Well, of course there were those times in forest preserves, fields, lakes, whatever … Rich has always been hot. But, for the most part back in those days our love-making was reserved for every other Friday when the boys went to their father’s. It was our date night … hehehe for the record, we were pretty bunny-like. The norm was at least to be sexed 3 times per night with a record of 4, but by then I was in need of being picked up off the floor. MAN has he been hot.
He’s funny now … he’s a little worried about tomorrow because it’s going to be an official date night where he stays home with me. Apparently somebody within us has been having sex with him every day since he’s been here. Shoot, I really don’t know. Don’t mean to overwhelm!!
Are we this prodigious???
Ok, ok … stop laughing … Hmm, I wonder if I should shut the door. We’re just thinking that it’s a little chilly in here. Yes, we are changing subjects. Hehehe, but not for far!
Aha! It’s now 11:30 and I’ve written again to the boys and then forwarded on to Rich … I think it explains things pretty good.
Dear Maury and Joe,
I've got a box full of sheets ... assorted sizes. I'm going to throw them out, unless one of you would like them, please let me know ... I'm cleaning out closets and right now they are clutter ... Haven't been used for 7 years, plus. Please let me know ... I hope to be throwing out things by Saturday or Sunday whether Rich stays or goes. Also this goes with stuffed animals ... I would absolutely love to pass them down, but I would like to clear up the space so Rich can have his own closets whether or not this is again a primary or secondary residence for him. At this point nothing is for sure. There might be other stuff I'll give you an option to having. I think though most stuff in the boxes that will be reviewed is just stuff of dust collections. I'm ready to move on with things in my life by throwing out that, which no longer needs a space in my/our home.
There is one more thing I thought of ... that is the relationship changes and how it affects everyone. Officially, Rich and I have been and are going to continue to be good friends ... I reject the term boyfriend/girlfriend. We're going to aim at being called good friends. I will go as far as Rich is my best friend. Neither of us want to be married again. We are both serious about that. Rich may or may not stay here over time, but we're opening room for him. He has gotten up to the point of telling his family we've known each other for a long time and that we've had sex. I'm proud of him for getting this far in such a short period of time. There's a lot that goes into he and his family bridging reality. We both know that most likely anything that is said, can and most likely is going to his spouse, whether we like it or not, and sometimes that information can and will seem very harsh, so I think Rich is trying to protect as much as possible. Here we are trying to give him as much latitude as he needs. Officially, he is saying now that he wants a divorce, but again it doesn't mean that he and I will ever be married. We're both against losing our freedoms and independence.
Back to the relating of you and Rich and his family. The way I see it is that you all are if anything going to be like step-friends since we're friends and we're not going to have step children. Rich and I have been talking to each other about each others kids since the start. Talking of his wife has been pretty much off limit also from the start. It's been a very important part for both of us that we each relate with our kids as much as possible. For each of us that has been the ultimate priority. I see no reason for that to change. Maybe one day you will be given more opportunity to meet Rich and maybe someday his kids, but again you will be step-friends if anything at all. Or, referred to as Ann's son's or Rich's kids. Up to date neither of us have met each others families, except one or two incidental passing's-by. They are just getting to know all of us exist so we're trying to slow things down and give them a chance to breathe through it.
As far as logistics and my obsessiveness, if Rich decides to stay then he will have our master bedroom. I sleep on the recliner in the living room with the C-pap machine. My osteoarthritis makes it difficult to lie down straight for long periods. My things from the bedroom are being moved to the back bedroom. If we were to have company in that one of the family were to sleep over (Jon and Jill each come in from out of town, or possibly even Chris might want to spend a night with his Dad out of the house), they would probably stay in the living room, unless they wanted the back bedroom for privacy. We'll continue keeping the front hall closet pretty clear in case needed for guests' storage space. By the way, I think his kids are like 28, 26, and 22 and in order Jon, Jill, and Chris. And, of course your ages mix in about the same at now being 26, 24, and 22. There is enough room on the couch for two adults. (who knew each other), or one at a time. I think it would be uncomfortable for Rich and I to sleep together, or maybe it would be uncomfortable for guests to have us sleeping togther, but that too could be a possibility. Just that both Rich and us are used to sleeping on our own. Joe, if you were to ever need extra room, you could have the back bedroom, but would need to use the front hall closet for your things (or on top of dresser and desk, so you would be limited to this space made available to you with warm blessings.
The wooden fold out desk in the back room would be placed in Rich's master room and the treadmill will be placed in the back bedroom (with white furniture). I want Rich to have a place to work on his bills and such he will continue to be paying for he and his family separate from the bills I pay independently. We are not merging money. I moved the 2nd TV to the top of Rich's dresser last night. Wow! What a thing to appreciate. It comes in very clearly with the major channels and about a dozen others. Who would of known. Rich isn't big on watching TV in the bedroom, but for him or anyone that might come in its an option. I would like to think that the house become wi-fi, but I'm not sure how that would go ... I like to think that Rich's lap top could operate from the coffee table, desk in his room, or kitchen table, all depending on the space he might want. I'm hoping like the dickens there will be absolutely no need to move, because I like my space. I am asking for no money from Rich except help with food and he would need to pay for extra Internet access and or better cable for the TVs. That way he can get his feet on the ground financially. He's very adaptable and likes to move around. I will of course keep my computer set-up in the living room. I'd hope one day to invite people out for dinners, but I would defer to Rich being the cook. He is excellent at it. He's a bit of a time-efficiency expert in the kitchen. He's a classic meat, potatoes, vegetable cook. We'll see over time how things work out. Rich is very active so has games to officiate almost every night and appointments and family engagements to be made ... he also has his outings such as poker with the guys, fishing, and golf.
He fishes a weekend a month with the guys up to at least 8 months a year and also does a weekly fishing trip with his friends in Canada at least one week a year, maybe now twice a year. That will all continue. He is out a lot with our blessing, we are in a lot with the exception of work, Dr. Marvin's or Maury's. My mobility is still limited to 7-8 minutes standing or walking. Rich does many of the errands for us like shopping for groceries. I'm trying to help with laundry and cleaning, but Rich gets a lot of credit in domestic chores. Most everything else I do is through drive-ins, drive-ups, or through the Internet. The only store I shop in is really Walgreen's. I hope to continue school on-line for about 10 years through doctorate in educational psychology. Eventually, I'd like to work at home creating programs for adults with developmental disabilities. Rich's future is yet to be designed.
Rich and I have always talked though about getting apartments close to one another, giving ourselves both our own set of life styles and privacy, although close enough to share time and proximity with each other. Seriously enough although Rich would have to find an extra $10,000 in his budget for the year, I asked Mike our Landlord to let us know if one of the other apartments in the building become vacant so he could consider getting his own place close to mine. he could also find a completely new place eventually. I love the pieces out of him, but wouldn't be offended by this ... but, let it be known ... I absolutely adore sharing my space with him as roommates and lovers *ok, small blush here* I'm having the time of my life this week with him being here.
Anyway, I didn't intend for this to be so long, but thought you might like to understand what is happening. Ask questions if there are any comments, questions, or concerns. Please pass on to Thom anything that is open between us. I wish I could be more direct with Thom, but we can only communicate at this point what he allows and that, which can be passed through his 30% audibility on a bad cell phone. You both also should know by now ... if you would like a belated Easter dinner the week following Easter, we've tried to make arrangements to meet at Maury's where I will order in food. Maury emphatically, please continue the calls or meetings as often as you have time and interest. Joe ... your fading ... please call more!!! Let's see if we can arrange some meeting time? I think we need more contact if this is possible. I'd like to think I'm good for both or either of you.
:)
I Love you,
Mom
*Sigh* Ok, that is taking some time to process. It’s now a quarter after 12. I’m just as pleased as punch that sweetie pie is here. We periodically, step into his bedroom to feel his presence … oh man … have I got the hots for that guy. I do so much hope he stays, but he has been emphasizing that he’d be my friend forever, so I know even if he has to go that we’ll be ok. Because he’s still here. I think in this last picture I look like the Cheshire cat. I just don’t know how lucky I can be in having a friend like this. He’s the most trustworthy honest guy there is.
Even though he’s done deceipt … I can believe its in his nature, because I’ve always felt so strongly that we have a truthful relationship. I’m not sure why this point is so poignant now, but I have to say in all honesty that I believe in him for everything he’s worth.
*Sigh*
Now, now now … can we let our thoughts sidetrack here a bit? We need to be moving on. What we’d like to do other than to be typing is to be cleaning that closet.
But, that is a major job that’s going to take time. I’m the person that wants to do it though. WooHOOO. I wish I was strong enough to move that machine. Let me see how bad it would be.
Well, where there is a will there is a way. One more mission accomplished. Somehow or another, I moved the treadmill and the desk, plus assorted accessories. WoW!
That wasn’t fun. But, it was a necessity in the World According to Us. Hehehe Lots to do back there … the furniture needs a good dusting and the carpet should be vacuumed. AND, there are tons of stuff to save or throw out. Rich said something about a clean-up over the weekend, but we’re thinking yet decluttering. I’m looking at the closet and it seems monumental, because I would have to be getting up and down and around. What I am thinking would be that Rich become my arms and legs … if he’d only let me direct as far as what should go and what needs to stay. He could do his directing part in keeping me moving at break neck speeds. I have a tendency to look at a dress for a long time. Can I save it, do I want it, will it ever fit again, where would I put it? Rich could be like yes or no. I wonder if he is busy now. I’d like to surprise him though. It’s not going to be though in cleaning that closet before he gets home. I’m thinking if we could just dust and vacuum. It be nice to do both rooms, but the priority obviously is with Rich’s room.
We didn’t end up putting that plastic thing in his room, but I’m thinking we could at least give him the big briefcase style sorting thing. That’s a nice piece and it’s not being used. He’s always talking of sorting and filing. I wonder too, if maybe he could make better use of the shelves that are in the back closet. He doesn’t have the big boxes and long dresses. But he could bring home smaller boxes to sort stuff. I like where the treadmill landed. Strangely enough its against the door wall standing out and then there is a couple feet to either side toward the bed or teacart. The nice part about it although I wasn’t sure which direction it should go, it’s actually situated across the mirror on the door and facing Rich the Chef!
If that isn’t the appropriate motivation, I don’t know what is.
Shoot, shoot. I just tried the machine and it won’t turn on. I am trying to think through extension or something else I can plug in to try the outlet. Might have to do some tricky stuff. That’s going to take a little bit of time. I figured we need to go back of the bookshelves and get heavy breaker thing, but it means getting it back in in back of the Christmas tree for my Cpap. Just for a test. Hmm, that seems like a lot of work. Maybe in a little bit. Too many things to focus on. Man I’m going to be really ticked if I did something to bust it. I had it tipped several directions, but I never dropped it. Damn last thing we need is a dead treadmill. I’m going to be so mad if it doesn’t work. I never use that outlet though maybe its just that. I suppose I’m going to need going through the test. It will drive me bonkers. No, I can’t do it … can’t bend down in a negative reverse angle that low to the ground. Damn what can I do to test it. I have no more of those strips. Maybe the fan that’s light, hold on. Damn fan works. I broke the damn thing. Fuck. Maybe Rich can help he understands machines and conveyors and stuff maybe something just needs to be reset.
Ok, no sense getting upset now. Maybe its just a loose something. Just remember we didn’t drop it!
Hmm, Dr. Bronke’s office just called … they have an opening and we’re scheduled for a teeth cleaning on Monday at 8 am. Need to remember that too. That’ll get us going early in the day. We’re going to need doing that paper. Shoot, I checked and the room is already open for the next class. I didn’t stay to read up. I need to get this other behind me. But, now its about 2 pm and I think I’m going for fresh air. I need to get some fruit. Is there anything else I need to do while out? I can take down some garbage. That’s a good idea. Hmm, I should check furniture cleaner. I thought I saw something under the shelve let me look.
Hmm, found some pledge household cleaner that says no residue no rinse. I gotta put ¼ cup in to a gallon container. This sounds serious. Am I ready for this kind of investment? It looks pretty old like its been here for a while, but I don’t see an expiration date. What kind of cleaning container? Maybe I need to look under the sink again? Hmm? Ok, lotta up and down today though, don’t you think? Shhh… Let’s go…
Ok, ok that was a little tough, but worthwhile. We finished cleaning out the desk and wiped it down. We have to now wait until it dries and then put stuff back on top of it. AND, we still need to do wash. We had found an old bucket we used to use for washing and rinsing dishes … and while we had soapy water, we washed down the tall dresser too. I feel better about that … don’t want to give him everything all dusty and all. Now 2:19 pm and no fruit yet. I don’t know when he’s getting back … if its about 4:30 pm, then I don’t have much time left. Hmm, I was going to do garbage … got some good garbage from Rich’s room. We transferred over the old garbage from the other room, and then threw away some books. I also have a lot from under my desk here. Better bag it.
Ok, got it bagged. I’m afraid of straining my back because I’ve been using it a lot and the bags are heavy. I suppose I will get them back to the back door and then evaluate from there. I still gotta get up those stairs after going through the store. I know it’s small, but you never know. There’s a whole lot of stuff on the back bed. Sure would like to clean that up today too. No fun moving things around if you leave it a mess. Hmm, sure hope that my friend helps me clean at least one side of the closet. Ok, C’mon girls you don’t want to miss the ride? Let’s go!
Fruit!
Pswhoo … now it’s a while later 4:15 pm to be exact. We went to the fruit store … fortunately, we had only picked up the bananas when we realized that we’d left the money out in the car. We had to wait in back of a long line and then after we got home we realized that the some of the fruit had run away. It went under the seat and everything. Hmpf! Going up the stairs was very, very bad. I pretty much crawled up the last few. I had to take a break down on the landing too. The bags I was carrying were too heavy. I had 3 that contained mayonnaise, salt, cabbage, 4 grapefruit, 6 oranges, a bunch of bananas, and six apples. That was too much.
After the pain stops then you just move on to something else and my mind is much too active this week to stand still. I will have to sit for a while, but after I had gotten rested I was determined to make cole slaw. There was a disappointment in that my food processor didn’t work. It’s been sitting there for about 7 years, I guess it decided it was retired. *Sigh* So, I cut up the cabbage the best I could. And then, I made it from what I remember using mayonnaise, milk, salt, sugar, pepper, and vinegar. I LOVE IT! I made a very huge bowl cuz I didn’t want to waste the cabbage even though it only cost .33 cents. It was just too good a deal.
I just used 1/3 mayonaise and that was $1.88 so I made out...
Oh oh … she ends here … lets then continue onto the next day, k?
posted by Ann Marie @ 4/07/2007 05:18:00 AM
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