I'm writing a lot of notes aren't I?
Dear Dr. Marvin,We got to 12:37 pm. So far so good. We’ve been working on CARF Lite. Tedious not hard-thinking work. Probably good for me. Needs to get done anyway so I figured it would be ok.
Rich has been gone for about 3 hours now. He went to Algonquin to talk with his son in person and to get his clothes. We encouraged that he grab some fishing stuff too, because I know that will make him feel more on top of things. He said something last night to the effect of being a man without a home. He said though he didn’t want to offend me. Then he smiled and thanked us. On his way out this he said I’ll meet you at our place (meaning him and us). Then he turned around realizing what he said and true to form we were beaming from ear to ear. It sounded so wonderful “our place.” He said then yah, yah … well this isn’t something we can count on and it was like “I know,” but in the process, it sure did make us happy.
I’ve been trying to turn around what we can be doing in the closets. We have one hall closet that is almost empty, but some chairs, a few boxes on top some of Thom’s old clothes and the vacuum cleaner. So, I’m thinking I can turn that whole closet over. And then we need to process the two large double closets in both bedrooms that are from wall to wall. I don’t use the closets well. In one is old boxes I never unpacked when moving in. The next has clothes that don’t fit, the next has some of my current clothes and the last has some partially filled shelves and a computer box. There’s stuff around like some old Crystal glasses I never use, stuffed animals, little pieces of my past life. That’s mixed with broken chairs, old Tupperware and a vaporizer that probably doesn’t work anymore.
Point being that I think we got a weekend project ahead of us. I’m pretty sure if he helps that we can wear the stuff down to using just one room worth of closets. If he is going to use the bigger bedroom, he has to deal with the tread mill making the back closet harder to get to. The dressers in the back bedroom can be cleared out to so I could get him a dresser. I was so happy to have had his pajamas I’d bought for him ready. I think at the time, I got a big blue robe, a long pair, a short pair and a small terry cloth wrap. That’s a good start, but obviously not a lot for his needs. I can hardly wait to think of making those bedroom space more efficient. I guess that the main bedroom is more male like too. The old stuff that we got from my daughter-in-law is pretty much white. I think of that as a female color. I’ll be so happy to get my stuff put away. He can use maybe the front hall closet for his garage – fish stuff. I don’t think I really have a lot of stuff. Enough for a single person. Hehehe maybe when I start to go through it – it will seem like more. I’m not sure what I’m going to do when pressed to think through throwing away the kids stuffed animals.
I don’t know who might like them. They are probably old and scruffy. I want to make it so we don’t have to move. He presented the thought once of living in the house, in a sense buying out his wife. I told him no. I wouldn’t live in his wives house. It was just a light thought. I think he was also thinking that his son and his girl friend could get married and Rich would continue paying the rent so he could take care of the mother. I think this is the arrangement that his wife is going to want. He says he pays more though. I don’t know what he’ll do. It seems a lot to leave behind. I worried about what he would experience today going in the house knowing most likely he’d never spend another night there. For better or worse, that’s been his and he’s made payments faithfully and has refinanced when necessary. How does someone first give up his rose bush, the garage, all the toys the family has stored and never thrown away. I can’t how he is going to do it, but I know that was the plan.
His son had called or written him, and told him that his wife had gone to work and that he could come over. How does he think that he’s lost all rights and now the son has taken over as male head of household. The father has to ask the son if he can come over. Something is very wrong with this picture. I didn’t have the idea that Rich wanted any furniture. He has no place to put it. But, if he leaves everything then if he chose not to stay with me … he’d have absolutely nothing. Just isn’t fair to him. Maybe he could at least take his map collection. He’s talked about having one corner on the top of the fridge. The place is supposed to be full of remnants from his dead mother-in-law … I think he’s going to in some ways feel like he’s being freed of it. But, then on the same token I’m going to need then taking down my wall hanging so he can make a cocoon for himself. That’s really all a bedroom is. I know that for years, without him, my bedroom seemed empty and threatening to swallow me up. I never made the adjustment to a new bed a couple of years back. I had been comfortable with the bed that went to the back room. I had been familiar with the fireplace pillars. That is still fine with me.
You know its kind of funny and maybe it might change in time, but I don’t need a lot of stuff the other woman is interested in. Rich said something about paying money to have a room mate. My way of looking at it as if that’s money he can save. The only thing I might ask is that he takes over the food budget. AND, I will still pay him back the $2,000 when we get the school money. I owe him that. He told me he has a $10,000 tax bill, I said do you have that much money saved. Then it was like cool, now pay it, before she gets wind of it as hers. There was stray thoughts in his mind today that maybe he would go back to living there. I looked at him and thought … yah, ok you could try that. Is that what you want to do? Then he cleared his mind again and said probably not. I know all those things have to be his choice. But, we’re sure not voting for the option where he goes back to home. Because of this though we entertained the thought. And, the bottom line was that if she punished him before … no sex, talk, etc. What would she do to him if he went back? That worry me silly. But, if that’s what he wanted. The worst of it at this point was that my closets wouldn’t get cleaned, and possibly I’d lose the best room mate, I ever had. I can be pretty sure one of the clauses would be no more relating with Ann. Nope that’s not my first option. But, I can see him trying countless combinations.
WooHOOO … we called … he’s just leaving our house … he said everything is there and he should be back to St. Rose Center in about 20 minutes. Maybe he’ll stop to get lunch … shoot I should have reminded him. Going to need giving him space … it’ll be ok, ok ok … He said everything is fine, why? I told him he was our new favorite worry. It’s going to be ok ok ok … Ok, then we’ll try to move back to work … pretty sure lunch is over by now, but I held off til lunch that was good, right?
Please don’t go away far.
posted by Ann Marie @ 4/03/2007 01:30:00 PM
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