Post Valentine Day
(See below for if you happened to "goof-up" Valentines!)
Good morning,
First thing is I want to apologize to you all for being so crabby yesterday morning. I am being encouraged to get out my angry feelings, but it’s not supposed to be here. Supposed to be able to talk about it with Dr. M. I will try not to let this happen, but I’m not sure what’s going to happen over the next couple of weeks. I’m not feeling angry now, by I’m feeling intrepid in that I won’t be able to calm myself. While I don’t want to sensor everything I am feeling, I don’t want to upset people that come to my blog out of the kindness of your hearts.
After part of the day had gone by yesterday … after the Valentine’s party, I made the montage of some of the cards we received from the clients. It is a very strong contradiction to think I’m not well loved. I don’t think I said that yesterday, but I was possessive and protective over the feelings I have with Dr. M. I felt kind of defensive. I’m sorry.
Yesterday all in all was a good day. The clients always make such fun use of Valentine’s day. We went right from lunch into the passing out of cards. There was dancing and one of our co-workers even got me to dance a little. Shoot, that surely was a foreign experience. I stood up and moved for about 2 minutes then shot out the door feeling overwhelmed. Thought that’s enough of that! After some dancing everyone sat down and had some treats and something to drink from sister. I am feeling stronger physically. Not only was I able to stand for most of the Thinking Group on Friday, yesterday I was able to stand enough to help pass out food. I am very excited about it. I never thought I’d be able to do it again. I think it has to do with the pounds lost so far. I have more hope that more pounds will be better! After the snacks, there was another round of dancing, which they all love so much.
I felt bad for one of the guys, because he had bought a small box of chocolates for a girl he liked, and she pushed them away saying she liked someone else. Staff got together and helped him choose a girl who would be much happier about receiving the flowers. That didn’t make a more greedy “wannabee” girl so happy, but we’re pretty sure the candies went to the right person. Sometimes I have to laugh. There’s not many staff who don’t know what’s going on emotionally with the clients. I think we’ve said before … it’s a pretty small pond.
I have the picture of the cards up in a background screen and they are giving me such a feeling of appreciation. Most the cards came with hugs.
Other things happened yesterday as well. Mostly toward work that seemed more like work. We spent the majority of the day with our work journal open. After we make sure all the current tasks are listed, we’ve been going back through the book to see if we can progress other responsibilities. I think we’re about up to page 35 of the journal since the first of the year. Yesterday was successful, because we were able to add more black dots for completion of tasks. We spent the morning doing simpler tasks like ordering ink cartridges, checking on the nurses register, and ordering materials for the fitness groups. The shopping at Amazon is always fun. Sister had pre-approved $40-50, but that had only included the scale. We found a really neat scale that measured electronically not only weights, but as well body fat/water. We couldn’t pass up that deal. Then we got six books on counting calories, each book for its own room (group) and one for me, and we got another six books that were for exercise logs. So with 13 items for $162, Sister seemed to handle my spending pretty well. She had told the other Q. when she called us both in for a short meeting that we’d established the program with its own materials. The books are going to be a major portion of the way the program gets run. We’ll talk more about all that when the books come in. YAYYYY!!!
The short meeting concerned Sr. formally telling us about the staff who was leaving. She was curious/concerned about if we knew and who else had know. The other Q volunteered first. She said she’d learned about it only today. I was next. I hung my head down and stated, I’d known a week ago. Sister was like, uh huh, uh huh. Then she brought up the part about the one staff who will take over the responsibilities of the group during the day and the other who will get an additional 8 hours a week to help out doing paperwork and cleaning. Sister looked back at me and asked what part I played in that. I confessed that I had known that the one staff was thinking about taking more hours in July if she could, but that I’d pushed her to setting that up now instead of four months from now. Sister didn’t say too much about it and she didn’t get upset, so we figured we got by that one with the squeak of a whisker.
It will be Group II’s last day with there staff today. She’s been asked to return all of her written materials. I think there will be quite a bit there. Sister didn’t say directly, but we’re going to need going through all that as staff trainer. The other two women that will take it over temporarily until a new staff is hired know what they are doing, but we’ll have to have everything back in order to teach a new person. It’s always a bit of trouble, because it requires 80 hours of on-the-job-training by me. *Sigh* We’ve gone through this over and over again. While the Q’s have been there 6-7 years, the DSPs come and go much more frequently. This last one had the job for a year.
The next thing that got accomplished yesterday was that we took some time at the end of the day to be working with a DSP doing a survey that will be used for CARF, and we spent part of the day working on CARF directly. We are looking at it much more speedily this time. There are 10 business practices sections, 2 on case files, and 2 on community/jobs. We started with the first section (book) on Input. Primarily it is information on how we collect input from the clients, staff, and other stakeholders (everyone else a business deals with), how we analyze the data, and how we utilize the data. The information we have collected from the survey 3 years ago for just this one section is 3-4” thick. It is grouped A-C and we went through A yesterday and more briefly checked B & C.
I’m not sure if I like how it is set up entirely. I think I have to be more distinct in listing out how each of these groups provide information. We also have in this section how the state regulations and our policies and procedures (approximately 61) affect the mix. In going through the work, we found 8-10 pages or sets of documents that just have to be replaced with the current year’s material. That is stuff like participants’ names and stats, who sits on the committees and Boards, and such. Some of that material I will do maybe today and some of it I will get from the regulation book Sister keeps or the secretary types out. I’m not quite sure what to do with the Policies and procedures. Sister likes to keep as much the same as possible. Yesterday I typed out a new list of all the policies and procedures we need and type-cast it against the ones we already have, now maybe today also, I will go through the book of instructions and check to make sure all the requirements are in as they should be. After that, it will be a process to get all the P & P’s updated with this year’s date. I might ask Sister to take on that project with her secretary, because they are the two with the typewriters that could just type in the correct dates under the last revision. We’ll have to see … I’d much rather type the entire thing out so it is in Word on my computer, but that would be very time consuming. I know the work would be better done, than by the secretary, and we have to suffer through the last time I did it 3 years ago, we were working in “Works.” Boooo Hisss Hisss *Sigh*
So, that’s the official where we are at thingy. Sister decided that we should fill out the question portion of the work too, and then she would go over our work and make changes if necessary and type in formally to the book. Lots of stuff needs cross referencing. Those 14 areas mentioned are all within their own book so last times will have to be replaced by this time. I sure hope they turn out to be fairly similar. Secret at this time is to systematize and not get too bogged down by any one thing.
The other part I wanted to write about for a moment is that as mentioned before or sweetie was coming over and in fact did. But, he gave me a very big surprise. He got over to the apartment about 4 hours before we got home. When I walked into the door, he had a nice roast, veggies, and noodles ready, flowers on the table, and he’d cleaned all of my floors, or vacuumed them, along with taking out the garbage and having gotten me a new, more workable chair for the shower. You could have about bowled me over. The changes were impressive. I know that clean floors might not seem romantic, but to say we were appreciative would be an understatement. And, NO box of candy! YAYYYY diet buddy!!!
Taking a moment now to look at the Valentine’s Cards. Sure is cool. In all I’d have to say a very Happy Day. I am in that state where I was in such a good mood, I looked at homework this morning. The teacher wrote back and said she would call me concerning getting papers in, but she already revoked the idea of cutting off from possibility handing in papers late. I really look forward to talking with her by phone. Speaking of we got a chance to talk to Gabby by phone yesterday!!! She has the nicest accent and is very thorough and efficient. I felt bad for her though, because we are more generally confusing and apt to be roaming in our conversations. I know, I know … you already know this. Hence long posts! Thanks Gabreael for calling! I was very fretful with the school work thinking I wasn’t going to be given credit for some of the work. It’s very important that I pass this semester, or I would lose funding. I didn’t want to conceive I could lose a whole educational dream because of a few late papers.
When I looked at the work that has to be done, I figured I could cut down the last few papers by just revision of some old work. And this work is in pretty good shape. I won’t change much except to add some more references. I would like to think if I gave up the next few days, I could have the next four papers written by Saturday. That will be my goal, and then I would like to get one more paper written on Sunday. So that’s the thing … next five days/mornings five papers completed. I am thinking that I will have to cut down the amount of time spent posting over the next few days, but I won’t say I’m not going to post because this is what helps me manage my life. I need to blog as much as I need to breathe. *Sigh*
But, for now … time has come again for me to do the things I need to do to get to work on time. To tell you the truth … between work, school, and blogging, I figure I lead the best life ever. Except for the situation with Dr. M. my life is blessed. And, I know that if we can keep in our mind that he is not dead or anything, maybe we’ll make it through it. Hoping that it is just fear right now and that all won’t be terrible. Ok, you … get moving! Oh ... one more thing ... if you messed up this year read below ... It's an article from AskMen.com
Top 10: Post-Valentine's Damage Control Tips
By Oliver Jameson
Relationship Correspondent - Every 2nd Sunday
You did it again, didn't you? You didn't do anything special for Valentine's Day.
There are only three days out of the year your girlfriend expects you to observe: her birthday, your anniversary, and V-Day. And you had to foul up the most romantic one. Now you're seriously in the doghouse and wondering what to do.
Let's be honest. You can never really make up for not observing Valentine's Day. She's going to remember this forever, and use it against you every chance she gets. There's little you can do about it, except practice some emergency damage control to at least soften the blow. This is it.
Number 10
Apologize
Straight and simple. Tell her you're sorry, that it was a lapse of judgment, that it was pretty insensitive of your part. Make it sincere. You should also make her a present, write her a funny poem, or sing her a cheesy heartbreak song. The lighter you keep it, the less serious your blunder might seem in her eyes.
Number 9
Bring her breakfast in bed
Start working her out of her grumpy mood early the following day with a fancy breakfast made from scratch -- making her a bowl of cereal doesn't count, sorry. Decorate the tray with a rose and nice napkins, and top it with a card, saying that you love how she looks first thing in the morning, or something to that effect. Make it good. Then join her for the meal in a cheerful mood yourself; she'll get infected by it eventually.
Number 8
Tell her she didn't deserve it
Okay, this will only work on a girl who doesn't care that much about Valentine's Day and who has a quirky sense of humor, or on a seriously high-maintenance chick. Tell her she didn't deserve anything for Valentine's Day, based on the past year you spent together. Tell her it's a way to discipline her to be a better girlfriend, as though you're the V-Day Santa Claus. If she laughs at it, good; if not, don't say I didn't warn you.
Number 7
Dissent the season
Tell her you don't believe in this commercial propaganda, and that you don't need others to tell you when and how to show your girlfriend you love her. Blame our over-consuming society for brainwashing people into thinking they need to buy stuff to express their feelings. It's worth a shot, but she might still wonder why you waited until after the day to tell her this.
Number 6
Ask her best friends for advice
Who better to consult than the people who know her best? Tell her friends you wanted to give her the absolutely best Valentine's Day, but had a hard time figuring it out. They'll likely have a soft spot for you and think all your efforts are sweet. Then do whatever they tell you.
Bonus point: If her friends tell your girlfriend the pains you went through, you'll likely look like you really made the effort to please her that day. She'll be impressed for sure.
Number 5
Tell her it was her turn
In psychology it's called "projection." Attribute your faults to your girlfriend as a defense mechanism. Tell her you thought it was her turn to plan Valentine's Day this year because you've been doing it for the past few years. Mirror her disappointment and ask her why she didn't plan anything for you. This is risky, and is very likely to lead to a fight, but hey, you're in trouble anyway. Might as well have some fun with it.
Number 4
Create a diversion
Desperate times call for desperate measures. If you're certain nothing works, then create an emergency. Pick a fight with some guy. Say your wallet was stolen and act all angry and frantic, pretending to call your credit card companies. Fake an injury, if need be. She'll understand the need to delay the celebrations. Just don't let her find out.
Number 3
Relive your first date
This is one that most women love and it works at anytime. Do everything you did the first time: the restaurant, the movie, the music, the conversation. Recreate that chemistry that led to your romance with her. Hopefully the fond memories will overcome the resentment.
If you don't want to clone your first date, add a little something extra, like a more extravagant meal, or dress up in fancy clothes. Let it reflect how much your relationship has evolved.
Number 2
Give her a gift
You have to make it a big one if you expect to make a dent in her grudge shield. Make it something she's always expressed a desire for. For example, if she mentioned repeatedly that she loves Meg Ryan, get her a Meg Ryan DVD box set. Then join her for a romantic comedy marathon. Go out of your way to get it.
If you want to be sneaky, get her something personalized or engraved and tell her it took longer than expected to complete. This can also be a way to test how easy it will be to persuade her in the future. Just don't abuse it if she folds.
Number 1
Celebrate it the following day
Make reservations at a restaurant on February 15th, because, really, who said that Valentine's Day can't be on that day? Who decided on the 14th? Having your own special day on a different day than the entire nation personalizes the meaning. You can also say that you didn't want to do it on the 14th because every place gets so crowded. Tell her you wanted to be unpredictable and dedicate the entire day to her, and doing everything she wants.
If cunning is your thing, then tell her you wanted her to think you forgot so you could really surprise her later. But make sure she's surprised and that whatever you do is big enough to quell her suspicions.
just don't do it again
If you managed to get away this time, be very grateful. Few women are willing to forget something this big. Remember; just because Valentine's is not a big deal to you, doesn't mean it's not for her.
Now buy next year's present right away so you don't forget. Just remember to give it to her.
posted by Ann Marie @ 2/15/2006 06:16:00 AM
Comments: 6
