Ayn's Multiple World

Ahh ... the missing mornig

Oh man ... this is too much ... we're back again and by the way ... good morning. Our problem is with the cable service now. Last night we paid Thom's phone and then we talked to Alexis and Joe, and we walked upstairs and found out the cable was turned off. I just called them now ... they said that we owe them like $560 to turn on the service and that the past due is $300 something even though we paid them $300 in September. They aren't giving me any options to talk to a service representative.

We're back. I don't know how calmed we are, but Rich HAS left, we took our medicine, we went to the washroom, we put on warm pajamas and opened the curtains so we can watch the light wake up and we're listening to waves in our ears - oh and we're holding our dog. That's a lot of comfort stuff, cuz we were getting yelled at this morning. Rich would say though that he was calm and not yelling, but it felt like he was yelling. Poor dog feels bad when he yells. He feels like crying. And, it gives him an upset stomach.

Maybe in a little bit dog and I will feel better. Rich had woken up ok, cuz we were massaging him and stuff, but then he sat up and he had to go soon, but he was pushing at us to check on the COMCAST. So, we did. We found the two last bills as to why the bills were so high. There was a lot of maintenance cost in first setting up the new cable with all the channels and getting the TVs set up in the back rooms, and then we had had the cable guy out again to put in the wireless connection. Rich said he was paying for the extra cable, but he wasn't helping us with the installation expenses. In that way he was being unreasonable. And, he's not helping with half of the electric. I know we've gone through this before, but everything adds up.

Rich decided that he had to call COMCAST himself so that was a good deal. He figured out some stuff and then he had put out $600 on the table and said we had to get it into the bank and then take care of something. Now I forget. But then we figured out the money he was giving us was our regular money and then that was a bad deal, because that money has already been earmarked for paying the rent and paying the school loans. He was catching up his regular amount, but was still not paying toward the extra expences incurred through hook-ups etc.

But, one way or another there was some progress in that we have some money in the account or will have and then we also agreed to make arrangements to get our work check. I'm not sure if it will be ready today or will have to wait until tomorrow. We're going to need calling Sister Theresa and seeing if it will be done in time to have Rich pick up the check before we go.

Now, I'm getting a little confused with all these details. I think I'm going to need chilling out for a bit with all these money thoughts, because it is driving us goofy. I have to remember to get some money out for the gym membership and for parking today with Dr. Marvin's. Ok, that's just on the side ... our brain is really on overload. I think we're going to need thinking of something on a more neutral basis that's not so taxing on our brain. Let's take a deep breath and see what else we can come up with that's not as threatening. It's about 6:45 am now. There's a little light outside, but not too much. Just enough to see the outline of the trees and top of the houses.
It's going to be ok, right?

Need to calm down. Right ... We're not going to go weird here, right? Deep breathe. Ok, you ... let's think of something not as hard. We're going to be ok, right?

Hmm, I think we're going to need planning to go to the bank this morning before Dr. Marvin. If Rich gave us $600. Then maybe we'll deposit $500 and then go to the gym and pay off that amount. Then while we're at the bank we'll activate our card - we got that in the mail and our pin number. So, then we'll be able to get change for the parking from the $100. Just have to make sure the gym gets us something like $20's back to be accepted at the parking lot. They don't accept $50's. If we go to the bank before the gym, then we'll be able to give them our new credit card or check numbers so that part is straightened out. I would like to think that we might have a chance to go to the gym. It's been a while since we've been there and we'd like to get back in the habit. Just had to wait until we got the money situation straightened out.

Ok, shhh, we were going to get off all this right? Just that we need to leave mental markers so that we can figure out what has to be done next and next. This is all being a struggle to my brain.

It's hard not to think with the TV on. That makes enough distraction and gives us something to do with the interludes of our brain thinking the hard stuff. It relaxes us somehow to get caught up on the news. I know that we could turn on our Barack book and we'll probably do that sometime before the day is out, but for now ... we've got to make due ... probably better to continue listening to the waves. Maybe that will eventually take over more and more and we'll start to relax.

At sometime this morning Rich said something about canceling our trip to Missouri because of the money situation. We felt bad about that, but was willing to give it up if we thought we could get past our money woes. But, I guess he didn't think of that option for very long, because he didn't go back and revisit it. That was good, I'm not sure where we are at with that, but remember something about Rich saying we needed to go to the bank this morning and we needed to pack. Oh Lordy pack? Yeeks ... so much to think about.

Ahha it is getting light out ... it's not all the way light, but we can see the houses and the trees. It's an interesting green yellow from the one in front of us and we can see the houses although the street lights are still on. It's a very nice deep - light blue ... kind of electric. Wow That was a nice relaxing thought now wasn't it? See we're getting better.

As to packing ... I didn't know if I could get it done this morning before the Dr. appointment, but we did know we had to get it done today. That's a good deal really, because it means that we're really on our way. We've got off today and won't return back to work until next Wednesday and then we have a couple half days off for more Dr. Appointments. I'm sooooo relieved that we have a day or so off that you just couldn't imagine.

Yesterday, we had another Annual meeting and we lost one of our clients to Holly. We'll talk about that in a moment, but for now ... we ... shoot just lost my train of thought. Something about yesterday? Hmm, I know one more annual done and we contacted or left messages for the last 3 people to have annuals done. I wrote out a little sheet for sister, Holly, and Rosa. Basically, it says that we are waiting for confirmation dates on three more clients. We gave alternate dates, but basically, please help us out here and confirm these meetings if the families call. After the next 3 people - the 4th person with a staffing was the one I lost to Holly, then we are REALLY over with annuals for the year. I'll be so relieved.

The deal with the client going to Holly's was that the mother had been in the hospital for three weeks and we'd just gotten notice from Sister to check up on that situation. It turned out that for the last week the client has been left on her own. She had said she didn't have anything to eat, but the mother said there is enough can goods and stuff for the microwave that she had food and she said that the girl's brother was stopping by everyday to check on her. I still don't understand why the client couldn't be staying at someone's house. The mother said that she couldn't send the girl to the center because she needed a medical appointment and she had felt she was the only one that could do this. It was a bad situation. Both the mother and the CSO person who got involved thought Holly hadn't been doing her part. I told that to Sister and then she took me off the case and gave it all to Holly. I'm not sure why exactly although I think she needed just one person to figure it out and since Holly had the client on Home base then it should have been her client all along.

CSO wasn't confident so the representative said she was going to have her supervisor sit in on the call to Holly. As it turned out there was her supervisor and her supervisor's supervisor. Holly somehow had talked her way out of it. And, we figure with all this new attention the girl was getting better attention. The way it worked out was that CSO and Holly are going to be paying a visit to the girl's house to see what the situation is there ... and that will be done today. And, by doing this Holly was pushed to get off herself. The mother had claimed she had a positve response back in March and that Holly hadn't followed through. And, the CSO person said Holly hadn't called her when Holly had said she had. I believed the CSO person over Holly. But, we were up front making copies of something and had heard the back end of Holly's conversation.

One of the things that had triggered CSO to reacting was that Holly had told me and I'd told Community Service Option CSO that it was an emergency situation that was being asked money for with the mom being incapacitated. Holly said she knew stuff that the CSO people didn't know of in getting money in 3 days time, so that helped Holly's case. The CSO person tried to push that I had said emergency, but I backed off of that by saying that these words and statements were unfamiliar to me and that Holly would be the person to talk to ... I didn't want to be the one who put everything into alarm status. In this respect Sr. was right in giving the client back to Holly because Holly had webbed the situation in ways that I couldn't imagine.

The bottom line was because of the pushing I'd done the client was now getting the service of both agencies up front. Holly said that it had been to a point where the CSO was going to call OIG. Holly smoothed that situation out by telling the family what I'd heard from the mom. Both times I had talked to the Mom, she was grateful that someone was paying attention to her situation. I told her we were going to advance the situation so that she'd get help. That's what had happened. I don't know how much Holly played off on my ignorance of the situation, but I'll give her credit for taking some pressure off of the center - in whatever words she was using.

I felt good in that ... I told the truth in each situation and got everyone involved. I'm going to giggle here in that ... no I didn't want anyone in trouble, but I sure wasn't going to let the family feel unprotected either. I hope the situation works out. A good part of this was because Sr. had split the case. She told Holly things and had tried to interact with the CSO people with Holly and her, but she'd given me the direction to call the family and see what was up. I did my part, but Holly had let the bag slip. But, again she and the CSO person were going over to the house today ... so we were feeling better about all that. I don't think the family was trying to neglect her, just that they each had their own shortcomings. I still don't know why the girl didn't go to stay with her brother or sister or one of her cousins. It seemed there were people around who could have helped.

There was one other situation involved. We had found out that the girl had been hurt, but that her mother didn't want her going back to the center until she got out of the hospital and could bring the girl somewhere. Obviously with her the mothers internal issues and not being out of the hospital yet, there was going to need being someone else to get the girl back to the doctors to be checked on. That was part of looking at this situation as could be neglectful. It was dangerous though to leave her at home. Apparently, there had been an unpaid person who stayed with her the first two weeks, and it had only been this week that she'd been on her own. Still it wasn't a good situation. The mother let us know that the girl's sister had been cleared to serve in a position she'd get paid for, but again Holly had disregarded that had been done. She said she was waiting for the family to contact her, but she hadn't followed that through.

Ok, I think that is about enough of that one. I'm glad today on my day off that I dont' have to be dealing with all that. I had contacted Holly twice in between things to figure it out, but we're really feeling at this point it was better to have one person. That's what we made sure CSO knew is that Sr. had felt it better to have only one contact person so we all didn't mix signals. I don't know how frustrated Sr. was with it all, but she got Holly to move, I'm out, CSO is in and the girl will be taken care of. I don't think she will be told by Holly how pressuresom the situation had become. I didn't even realize it until I heard the words OIG, which hadn't been mentioned to me by sneaky CSO and I didn't realize it had gone up the level it had with the supervisors.

They were being sneeky in that they weren't calling Holly until they could all be there, but again Holly seemed to feel no pressure by the time she'd gotten off the phone with them. I had heard those last few moments. She was acting like she'd come in to save the day. Yah, BLAH! I'm pretty sure she conveyed that my alarm in the situation wasn't warranted, but my thinking was that if she and Sr. had taken care of the situation when they learned of it I would have never needed to be involved. In a great respect this was sister's problem. She wasn't being upfront with me in concern of her - or actually Holly getting ahold of CSO, she gave me little information and trusted Holly more than she should have. So she deserved getting some pressure on her. I'd carried out the part I was supposed to have ... just did it without the knowledge she'd given Holly.

Ok, ok ... been there done that. I'm feeling much better as far as things being in better shape around me. I could think out these last thoughts without the garbled mind we'd been operating at with Rich this morning. I could probably now think out by the part of being me that situation, but I don't know how far into it I want to go. Maybe we could simplify things with a little schedule of what's to happen ... that be about my limit. Not because it's over frustrating ... just it seems to be another part's business. I'm not sure why this is going to our easily razzled parts instead of for example me, but it's enough to say now I recognize there's a difference. I don't know if Rich understands that it really undermines our system to get parts all riled up first thing in the morning, but maybe it's what is necessary to get our parts or us as a system through whatever hole we've dug for ourselves.

Ok, it's about 7:30 am now... and we've got full light blue cheery skies. This is about the time if we were working that we'd be walking through the door at work. I'm sooooo relieved now that we aren't there, it's just unbelievable. There's been a distinct pressure building up with all the various things going on. I think not going to the gym is hurting more than anything. It seems to be playing the part of giving us some relief. We did, however, wake up this morning and checked ourselves on the scale and it said 247. WOOHOO!!! Finally broke those last couple of pounds, so that we are at exactly 90 pounds lost so far. There's only 10 more pounds, before we can hit that magical 100 pound loss mark. That will be very nice AND for the record put us at exactly half way to our goal of 137. We really have to be more focussed on the gym and our eating to get there, but I'm feeling better about it now. Hitting the 100 mark will be major for us. WOOHOO!!!

Ok, back ... just went to refresh the coffee and found Rich had left some leftover steak in there. He'd been to his mother's last night and she must have fed him well. Mmm ... pretty good steak - the kind we'd find at a restaurant. I dont' think he ate out with them, but maybe. I didn't hear anything about that. Rich came home about 10:30 pm last night and we'd woken up and then crawled into bed with him, until the wee hours when I was awoken by his restlessness. I decided I needed to use the washroom and head back to my own bed to give him some reprieve if it was me making him so restless. I think that was actually only a small part, but enough. Besides our nose was clogged up, so we knew we needed to take care of that. It was very nice cuddling up with though. Maybe that was what was going to happen to us over the next few days. I can't believe my luck in getting him all this time.

I know though that he said when he came home we were going to set-up some of our new accounts. It makes a big difference going over to his bank, because he knows their on-line system so will feel more comfortable in using it. I have to learn everything new, but look forward to the new clean break. As far as what happens today? I knew we were going to give us time to do the writing first thing. Working backward to needing to be at the doctor's at 10:45 am, that would mean that we should leave here at 9:45 am, so should be in the shower by 8:45 am. But, we're also going to want to take care of the bank too, so maybe we should jump the shower to 8:15-8:30 am to be out the door one hour later. Rich said the bank should be open by 8 am. I think it would be too much to go all the way to the gym before the doctor appointment. Ok, let's set the shower goal to 8:30 am that will give us a half hour to psych up for that. Then we'll leave at 9:30 do the banking up to 10 and get us to the docs in 45 minutes. There shouldn't be any traffic and in all reality it only takes about 30 minutes - and at that we're getting there 15 minutes early to fill out any necessary paperwork. I think that works for me. SOO remember shower at 8:30 am please!

Yes ma'am.

After the doctor appointment we might want to come home for a bit? We could set things up to go to the gym, but that would entail getting clothes ready ahead of time and figuring out where we were going to get dressed. I don't really want to get dressed at the gym. But that would mean coming home or getting dressed at the hospital after our appointment. I don't really want to bring extra clothes there and be seen in my gym stuff, so it would mean doing it at home. With an 11 am appointment that would mean we'd be home about 1 pm. We have to leave at 3:30 pm to go to Dr. Marvin's. Hmm, I don't think we are going to make it. That is pushing the gym thing and we wouldn't be dressed and ready for our psychiatry appointment in time. Maybe we are going to need skipping the gym one more day. I think Rich is going to be home after the second doctor's meeting so that means not going to the gym afterward. That's ok, just I know he's going to want to take care of money. Maybe better to do it with him, than not. We'll have to do it from his computer in the kitchen though unless we can get the cable bill taken care of.

The bottom line there is that we're going to need paying like $385 or so to get the TV turned back on. When we go to the bank, we are going to want to deposit $500 cash - keep $100 cash, and then get our credit card activated. I think that's all that has to be done there. Was there anything else? Hmm, if we're not going to the gym, maybe we should get that $100 left out broken into 20's so we can use it for parking. That's a good idea. We'll pay the cable from the credit card ... so there shouldn't be any problems there. Hmm, we still need to call Sr. sometime this afternoon to ask about our check. We will need getting that deposited so we can include rent and car payment out of the money being deposited with the work check. We also are going to need paying the school loans. I don't think Rich understood that. He thought by giving us his $600 monthly cash I could afford the $385 cable bill, but in trugh $400 has to be paid to the school loan place before we pay cable - as to priorities. We'll have to see how that all goes.

At least we're not holding onto the dog. Things are looking up.

Hmm, I wonder what's happening on the news. This sure would be a bad week to go without cable. That's another thing. We need to get our regular computer up and running. She sits over there so lonely and i'm sure sister is going to want her laptop back, but I like it here in front of the TV. Maybe we are going to rearrange something to view the TV from my regular computer? Not thinking clearly of what we could do though. If we sat at the back part of the table we'd be with all those cords, and the table would have to get pushed out into the walking area. Plus, we'd have to be looking at the TV over the two monitors, so we wouldn't be doing things easily. The only other possibility is to get a thinner desk/table. But, I don't think that's high priority for the budget. Better leave well enough alone. Maybe that is something though we could do between Dr. appointments. We could call Rich's Ken guy. Be a sound decision.

Hmm, what was established yesterday as to what to do with the money in our account? There were 6 things. Let's see gas, parking, Maury, gym - don't remember the other two. Maybe it will come to me - oh maybe one was medicine? We're out of two of them and we'll need 3 more within a day or two. I can fill up the car again on the remainder of that $100 - $49 for gym and probably about $13 for parking today will leave ... $28. That's a pretty good deal. I think that we have about half a tank right now, so we'll have to hold out that money for gas. We'll put it in the little cubby hole in the car until we need to use it. That means ... we're just going to be short on Maury's amount. If we get to that point of taking him out it will be at least a week from now ... we'll have a better idea on our money siutation after tonight. Rich might say that we can't afford to go out and then we'll have to tell Maury we owe him one. The prescription money can be paid with the credit card later. Wish we could remember that other item. I'm sure it will come to us. I don't think this is the item, but we also owe Sister $65 for the candy bars and the fees. Apparently, we bounced a check on her. She might have to wait until next check to collect though .. Hopefully, she'll be that patient. We'll see what's left.

Ok, shhh ... enough about business matters already, K???

Anything else to talk about? We should make a few phone calls today to check out our mother and sister. We've been putting that off. Hmm, but it could be something we took care of one our journey tomorrow ... we could do that? Ahh, good thinking. There will be plenty of time during our drive and then we have the security of Rich too. Unfortunately, he might not want to hear the conversation, BUT, we have to listen to him on the phone too. It would be fair. Beside, I know I couldn't call CS before 11 am. That's her comfort point. Not sure where my mother will be. We'll see.

We might want to think of anything else before we go. The kitties should be ok, though they are going to be crabby without wet food for three days. They'll just have to get by. Can't do much to help them there. I would like to talk to Thom tonight or tomorrow too. Maybe if he picks up the phone to relize it's working then we could talk to him today. I don't think talking to him with Rich around is necessarily a good idea if there is a money discussion. We'll have to see. I can't remember why we'd thought we had enough money to pay Thom - something else was stopped, maybe the dentil bills? But, nonetheless we'd take paying Thom for the phone over paying for cable. Hmm, maybe not Internet though. That's pretty important ... It be a bummer not to watch CNN on TV, but there is some CNN on-line so it's not a total loss. BUT, I know that Rich is going to want TV.

Joe called last night and we talked to Alexis. Alexis is always nice to talk to ... she has a lot of pressure on her I think because she doesn't earn too much and has to be away from Thom. She makes everything seem ok and easy, but I know it's got to be hard. She said though she has an appointment with the army next week to take their tests. She says she'll still wait out to take the Air Force tests next February, but we'll have to see ... I would guess that the Army is not going to want to let her go. She says she'll be an officer and I think she's looking forward to that part. I think she worries less about Thom and things when she's got her mind on work. I still worry about the kids not being able to be together in different armed forces, but she's got things thought through for herself. It will have to be ok. I remember toward the end of the call we were both talking about our kitties. It's nice to have a relaxing conversation with her, and somehow it helped for her to know what was happening with Thom's phone bill. We were hoping that she'd get through to Thom before we did as to turning back on his phone.

She did say something about Joe getting Thom's old computer because Thom wanted to get a new one and that for the time being he's using his roommates, but I don't want to get into all those thoughts. Thom woul have to buy his computer on credit and I know he's got enough money on his Best Buy account to do it, but then he's really shorting himself off in other ways. We're going to need contacting him also to make sure he's paying the Sallie Mae School loan people. That be the worst thing for him to default on that. That's one of our problems last month, we payed an installment of his Best Buy and his AT & T and his school loan. I'd forgotten about that, but am pretty sure Rich would have another fit to find out. Best not to get that invovled this month. I think Alexis can get by not overspending, but I think Thom's like me ... we both overspend. That's got to be taken care of somehow.

One more thing before we get in the shower. Joe had called and I think his primary focus point had been that he'd had bad news as to his first job changing hours to interfer with his second job with the Karate. He didn't like that but I don't think he felt in a position to change it. But, the real problem was that he'd called Sensei Steve to talk to him about it, but Steve said he was headed to his old house, because his wife had called and said she was suicidal and was going to do something in front of the kids. I guess she had been the one pushing for a divorce, and Steve had worked toward keeping the marriage, but then he finally accustomed himself toward the divorce and then the wife changed her mind. I think this was a call from her saying the only way you can save the situation is to marry me. But, from what Joe says he's working toward the other direction. We'll have to see how that turns out.

But, the problem part was that Joe was feeling pressured ... most likely from his childhood and memories of me being suicidal. He asked tentatively if the reason I survived was the kids and we had to admit yes it was. That was good for him, but I didn't like the way he'd have to think about suicide through me whenever he heard others were going through it. He did ask for the sake of Steve's benefit if I had any words of wisdom. I told him what he already knew. Basically, Steve's help in this situation was in him getting her to seek a professional and not to take on that responsibility himself. If she were in need and it sounds like she is. She needs real help. His role is just to help her get to that person. She needs someone neutral and knowledgable to talk to.

Ok, better grab that shower, brb.

Ahh that's better. Showers just naturally, I think make people feel better. That's the good stuff.

We got another cup of coffee too. We put back on our waves, but didn't get dressed yet. I've got another half an hour before we have to leave ... so should be ok there. We might want to fill out a deposit sheet before we go though. Just got to remember to ask for 20's on that last $100.

Reminds me that we were working on the cash register program yesterday while being with Group I. We'd figured out that it was running the same lessons over and over again ... There are about 3 different games, and inside those 3 games are 3 games, and inside that there is learning, practicing and being tested - so three more variables. But with those last 3 they reapeat the lesson in a series of 10-20 examples. So we figured that we'd copy down all the actual lessons so that somehow we can come up with a chart of how people are doing and at which point do they lose themselves each time. I figure that if we're going to do this we might as well do it right. Sometimes we get cocky clients who think they can do it all, but their not always aware that I'm giving them extra support in the form of cues.

Like I said there are several games, but basically, we find that some of the clients can and others cannot all recognize the forms of money for example there is 1) penny, 1 cent, 01, and worth one cent - along with seeing the coin itself. What we'd been testing them on is in giving the correct change back, but I think we're going to have to go back further into the game. I'm thinking about the parts where they are counting the coins and remembering which combinations equal a certain amount. Some of the clients can cound 10, 20 30, or 25, 50, 75, 100. But, they have trouble counting a quarter and a dime - mixed coins as 35 cents. I haven't figured out exactly how I'm going to get this through, but if I can figure the points they get stuck from starting at the begining then we can trace down the faulty learning. I think in most instances people haven't gotten into a lot of detail.

Basically, from what I've seen teachers do they will count how many correct out of how many attempted, but they are not going into detail about the counting process. I'm guessing very few get to a coinsistant point of teaching by 5's 10's, 20's or 25's. I'm not sure how I'm going to run that out .. in a sense when I'd started I thought I would bring in different programs. But, then I realized that none of them were getting the whole thing. Not even all of them can look at this amount $1.45 and say one dollar and forty-five cents. We've always known there was difficulty in teaching how to say numbers on the left and right of the decimal point, but if I can chart the clients so remember what to teach and review with them, I would expect to see some progress.

There was something else too ... what was it? Not sure now, but am looking forward to the challenge of coming up with a system to check their knowledge. Then we are going to need systems in place so they can all easily say 7 is more than 5, etc. That seems to be a hard concept. They all have been taught poorly on this exercise in that they just push buttons until they get the right answer. None of group 1 can count out $2.65 - either in giving change from the original amount or counting backward from a higher amount given. I like the though that there is this kind of challenge. And, I think that sister was thinking well in getting me to work with them on the computer. I think sister appreciates my knowedge on the computer and as a teacher. I figure in the long run that's why she's giving me all those duties. I just wish she'd get me off the client load, but I know I'm valuable there too.

Next week we are going to have to step into training again with circles and its a bad week to start because of all my interruptions in being there. I'll suggest starting fresh the following week and then try to work around the last meetings.

Hmm, just remembered something we had done before we left ... we made copies of the stuff inside of three of our clients. They finally got a substitute for the CSO person and she claimed there was nothing left in the files. I've heard that before of CSO workers, that there files when leaving service are really screwed up. I knew Evelyn was behind becaus I never get reports from her. I will miss that she's goin because personally I liked her even though she was pretty emotional. We got along. I know that most likely Holly will give her the files when the CSO person comes in on Tuesday and I'm not there, and I know that I've already staffed all the clients in September or October, so she doesn't have to see anyone, but we'll see how that goes. I put the files and directions on Sister's desk so she would understand that I'd done my responsibility part. Left just to Holly, Holly would sabatogue me and take credit for straightening me out. Nothing wrong with putting out ... I'm actually quite straight myself! HMPF!

As to the Circles training. That will mean going back over the material ... I think that sister means for me to be only giving 45 minute lessons. We'll have to check that out. I can do 1 hour, but 45 is nicer. It's more succinct. I think the schedule goes Maria 10:30 on Tuesdays, Sr. Florine noon on Wednesdays, Theresa noon on Thursdays, and Karla noon on Fridays. I'll still have to do staff training on Thursdays after group and the Thinking group on Fridays after the circles group. It's a lot of meetings for me. I'll be better after I get in it a while. I might want to think within the next several days how to figure out like with the money that people are getting certain objectives accomplished. Because the group varies so much in advancement or lack thereof, it is a little more challeging to figure out where each is. It would be a good idea for me to have Rich grab the lesson book when he's in tomorrow morning picking up the check. Ok, good idea there. Maybe we can write some objectives for each group - and maybe for the lower groups for each person.

I don't want this to be all encompasing because obviously I have so other work to do, but I like the feeling that I'm feeling myself capable and willing to work again. I just then have to figure out how to get in a staff plan with Sr. at the meetings, get the annuals and Qnotes done, and get CARF accomplished. If I could do all of this then I could honestly say I'm earning a paycheck. I wonder how much doing all these annuals has taken me down in enthusiasm. There is no doubt I feel overwhelmed more easily than most. I just have to get on my game. I think one of the things I'm going to need doing is to schedule myself to be getting up and going to bed on time. When I can wake up at 4 am - I have enough time to write, then I don't feel such a need to do it at work, which is time consuming.

That means a couple of things. First I should probably not be listening to news first thing in the morning. Like we discovered this morning. I get a lot more written when I'm listening to waves than listening to CNN. I really like listening to CNN, but when I get to the point I can't turn it off, I have to realize that it's part of what's most likely overwhelming me because it distracts me from gettin other things accomplished. The second part of that is setting a bedtime for my TV watching - as well as accounting for time back at the gym. If I'm back on schedule ... I'm at the gym until about 6:30 pm. I go in straight from work. Then I come home and eat and either be with Rich or watch ... shoot ... I don't really like CNN as much between 6:00-7:00 because then it is that noisy guy who yells so much. I like better all the time before him and after him. Maybe I'll be in the gym close to like 7 pm. This is when it would be real nice for Rich to drop in after he got done doing whatever ... I really do wish he'd join me at the gym for so many reasons.

Ok, at least now we're starting to plan ... this is a good thing. We still need to settle that we watch TV only for 30-60 minutes and then HOPEFULLY do some reading and then go to bed. Maybe then Work until 4 pm, gym until 7 pm, TV till 8 pm, and reading til 9 pm. That means though my reading time is at Larry King. Maybe then what we should do is switch reading and TV. Then I could watch Anderson Cooper at 8-9 pm ... that sounds good ... gym til 7 pm, reading til 8 pm, than Anderson Cooper 8-9 pm, then BED! Wake up with alarm at 4 pm. AND giggle squeeze in Rich in between. If he's home we should let him choose the TV programming and we should curl up with him or get the book out. That would be more reasonable. Right?

Ok, you now it's 9:30 am and you know it's time for going to the bank, right? Let's check. Yup that's it ... better save this we'll post later when things are up again ... good deal, right? Right!

posted by Ann Marie @ 10/30/2008 03:14:00 PM Comments: 0