Ayn's Multiple World

Dear Ann,

That’s Mi!! Whoa. Your going to write me too?! Wow! I didn’t even know you knew me any more! Hold on … don’t do that now. You are going to play the jealous mistress I see … No reason for that … you know we love you … hey, hey … no whimpering that’s not fair. You know I love you and save the best for last! Does that mean I get my fudgicle now? Hmm, Is Rich sleeping? Looks around quietly. Uh huh. Go for it kid! Whoo hooo!

Ok, ok … fudgicle well done and gone. We’ve been over at Trafford Publishing for a while. They sent us another email. I think they know authors are famous for putting things off even the things that are good for them. Man oh man. I’ve been studying up on the situation over there. This is pretty much the deal … let me see if I can get it over to copying format. Ok, I think I got it here in picture format now. Sorry to be doing business so fast first thing in the morning … BUT, by now it is already 7 am ya know??!

(Click on image to view full size and then click on back space to return to blog)











Ok, so what is all that exactly? Hmm?

Well, that’s some real interesting stuff, actually. AND … it has nothing to do with military, so I thought it be a nice change. Trafford is a self-publishing company on the Internet. They offer just a couple of packages and the one I would be interested is obviously the best they have, but on the first chart, they compare what you get in each package. Obviously its set up so if you want yourself promoted to Amazon and beyond, get your own web page, noticed in search engines, some posters, royalties, e-books, and 20 free copies of your books – you are going to go with the expensive package … yup, yup that’s the one I wanted! That package is called the Best Seller Classic and Best Seller Plus Packages. The plus package adds some custom page layouts. Hmm, that seems like an interesting idea! Anything to make the book look good sounds good to me.

Oh, what book? Hehehe … well I figure that if we are going to write a book or so … And, may I add that it’s only going to cost $2,300 then – and that includes getting 20 books back valued at about $20 apiece or $400, that I should have a book in mind. I should slap you silly for not knowing what I’m talking about … wake up you! We’re talking about Ayn’s Multiple World … the 5 year old blog. Coming up soon in August we’re having a 5 year old birthday. Say wouldn’t that make a nice birthday/Christmas present?? Remember I didn’t ask for one last year, Hmm?? It get’s better down the line, but first let me explain some of those other pages-charts. I think there are 5 total. But, so far you should read down the total list of features we get for the money … the stuff mentioned are more on the promotional side. We still get the “core legal, administrative and on-demand publishing services” and “Trafford bookstore services.” Some of the exciting stuff in the first set include getting an ISBN number and library cataloguing, plus copyright and barcode and stuff. It gets us a cover, the binding, print, a proof copy to library of congress. The bookstore service includes a webage with photos – have to check this though, because I want a website link with thousands of photos – all the ones that can’t get in a black and white book, but that are listed on our site. It helps us accept orders through Travis, and does invoicing and pays ¼ royalties.

So all that in the last paragraph is all of what you get in the $2,300 Pretty good deal? So now you are asking what kind of book? You have to look at the top of the third page for this … the one where it says in blue publishing profit calculator.

Basically I will be producing a book that is 620 pages long and printed on 24lb white bond stock paper stock and will measure 7” x 10” and weigh 3.1218 pounds. It will cost me for one copy of my book in soft cover $21.95 and in hard cover $22.40 – that’s a BARGAIN price! If you read further down, you’ll find I will get an e-book for the price of $11.49 WooHOOO!!! My life has FINALLY become affordable! And, of course I’m even more affordable at greater quantities! Now on the fourth page … Trafford breaks down the RETAIL prices. So the soft cover book that costs me $21.95 costs the public a minimum of $46.09 and out of that $46.09 I will get the royalties you see listed … 15% at libraries $10.34, 25% at Trafford $7.57, 40% retailers $3.42, and 50% distributors $.66. If Amazon or someone else sells my ebook then I get $3.45, and if Ingram (I guess the major hard book distributor who even sells to amazon) sells my book, they get a 50% to at .67. The money amount again being the amount I get back. But, if your selling a box of 200 you are much more likely to say ok .67 or $134 is enough. So, that all makes sense. AND, your book is still getting out there.

Then the 5th page is just to figure out (interactively if you were at Trafford’s site) how much money you could collect by thinking through how many books you could sell, to which I think I have no idea. Might take a year to sell 50 for all I know. But, then again maybe multiples or mistresses might be a big deal again and then … pwhsooosh off we’d go hehehe.

So, anyway that explains the charts we’ve been looking at. BUT, there is remember one more thing I wanted to say about all this. I discovered Trafford about 1 ½ years ago and I’ve been getting their letters ever since, but this time they are offering a promotional that makes me cringe because I want to do their deal so bad.

Basically, you know that deal where I have to pay them $2,300 for doing all of this and how the cost of my book soft cover is going to be $21.95? They got this special deal going on. They are saying now … time limited of course that they are offering a pilot program as an exclusive opportunity called 100% book-back bonus. What that means is that they are offering back in number of books (value) the amount of money you put into the publishing process so if I put in $2,300 and cost is $21.95, then I will receive back 2,300/21.95=104 books. Yup, yup … I will get 104 copies FREE of my own book. I can do anything I want with them … give them away, sell them, anything … it would give me a chance to earn the money back say give little book parties and sell at discount the price of $46 (down to $22) and recoop … or just be a good guy and give away to get my name out there. Whatever it’s an entirely great great deal. I’m not sure if it means you get the other 20 books still free, but this deal is physically worth the pennies put into it. That’s the part where I think I could catch Rich’s attention.

I’m not pretending that any of the publishing effort would be easy, but it would be a way to become published for a reasonable amount of money and give-back if you could call it that. I think the problem would be in editing out the material for names and places so that I could still write about the people and places that mean everything to me. I think I would take some middle ground in the work between the years 2003 and 2008. That way I could do it like Back to the Future, where they went earlier, than later in history or future. The trick would be getting it divided squarely. I don’t know if it would all have to be put in Word document format before we did the divisions that would be the most sensible, but very time consuming. But, that would be the challenge. I would have to get advice on editing people to characters to make it relatively safe or to somehow come up with a pen name along with location identity changes. I noticed you could buy the package and then edit your material, so I could work with time.

It be my life-long dream to publish. I’m not saying that I would ever hit big time, but I do believe that everyone has a story to tell and that mine is important because it says something important about relationships, and yes particularly, because I’m a multiple and because as a multiple Rich and I’ve had this long relationship where he’s been married for so many years. That would become something people would like to understand better. I don’t think people understand that well at all. I think mostly people – women like me are considered cheap or whorish. I don’t know … maybe I’d still be perceived that way, but I’ve tried to be more with my life. I don’t think of myself as more or less than others. Sometimes I think of myself as smarter, but then I get into these life predicaments. Ha … wouldn’t that be something to say that this is the relationship of the future … OH YAH let’s not go there at all! This though is where we zip back into our Kate Hepburn – Spencer Tracy mode. Didn’t they all cover this ground before us? Did we ever find out if they wrote about their kind of relationship? I’m not saying ours was just like there’s … we’re not the magical important people they were to the world, but the giving and taking may have some similarities.

I’d have to read more or at least SOMEthing about them to figure it out. I’m just going on a one line gossip that I think I know they were lovers all those years while he remained married too just like Rich and us. It helped a lot during some of those years knowing at least there was ONE other model of it happening and in particular it being someone – Hepburn that I Loved best of all actresses. I’ve never looked into her personal life, nor have I studied her as an actress – just know she had intelligence, class, style and dignity as a woman that I admire best of all women.

Hmm … ok, ok … shhh … little break from me you get here. I’m a bit lost. Rich and I’ve been up together for a bit watching his Sunday morning show. And. We’re going to talk over the book and do some omelets together in a few. He’s on the phone now with his plumber. There was a little washroom crisis first about who was first, but I think we’re through that now. Better review the sales pitch. Hmm, maybe it’s better I don’t sell him too much on the computer … maybe we’ll just do a quick one here. Whoops he’s off the phone.

Ahh, we’re back now … we did good. We didn’t ask for money direct because that isn’t what we were looking for … well sure if he had it of course it would be nice, but we were looking more for project approval and acceptance as a writer and all and I think we got that. He put down two stipulation goals that we not publish anything until after his divorce and that hmm something with money … I forgot how he put it now … I don’t know if he said that it can’t cost him anything, or what. I know I didn’t feel it was something that should come before his boat as he had defensively suggested, or for that matter his divorce attorney. Down the line … we ran through the preliminary stuff while at the computer, but basically as we’d discussed before, then we did the most talking of it over the making of the omelets. It was a nice relaxing time that evolved into other conversations mainly of how he and I would progress next and about the kids – especially Joe and Maury. It seems that we’re still listening to our kids and he’s still talking more to his kids so the places we are at with them in our minds are somewhat different. I think it is easier for me to fall back toward daydreaming and light-worrying and projecting scenarios on my kids where Rich is more like well – they won’t listen to me so they are on their own. Maybe his system is a little more close-minded.

We talked some of getting together after the graduation, but he is still reticent of making commitments where I’m having my boys over, but we’re putting it now as if its going to be pretty much a done deal. I think how it might happen is that like Maury or Joe might drop in for dinner or brunch and while Rich is making the meal, we’ll be in the kitchen talking and Rich is going to need going through a period of learning of a different way of how kids and adults interact. He has much less time listening to me with my kids even on the phone, because he gets up and leaves where I’ll stay around more – though not as much as I thought I would. He needs private time to be talking with them. I think Rich is much better at listening then he used to be, but there is a stubbornness. It’s different too in that – Maury, Joe, or Thom might tell me something about their life, but they are rarely if ever asking me about something like how to do something or decision making or approval. Rich seems to think with his kids that they need him to tell them what to do. So then when they come up with their own way, he gets defensive and shuts down a little bit and says – well, then go and do it your own way. As if there should have ever been a choice to do it any other way. I think he’s still fighting for some parental control – and maybe he deserves some because of the money ties. His kids are more orientated to financial dependencies than our boys are – with the exception I still try to treat out for dinners and giving $50-100 for gifts.

I’m probably way over my head now making comparisons, but I think in mixing two sets of families in one’s head its inevitable that comparisons get made, especially with the kids being equally as bright and about the same ages and status in life. There might be some funniness in that … I’m much more liberal than Rich. But, my kids seem more conservative than Rich kids. Probably something to do with the other half our relationships too, but I’m sure each us have an effect. Maybe the more a parent goes one way the more a kid goes the other. Sometimes I have to laugh … because when I push myself to think back and remember what marriage was like, I know that my ex was a conservative, but would be considered a liberal conservative. I just made that up, but I believe it to be true. I guess that would make me a conservative liberal. Hehehe Hmm, this could get fun. Ok, ok I’ll stop all conjecture anyway.

When I think of the kids one day maybe getting to know one another – I think of it being in the Elgin house with lots of living room open kitchen space. That’s about the only way it could be. I think though that my boys are going to be turned off by someone giving them absolutes of thoughts such as potentially Rich’s son Chris saying this is the way it has to be. I could see unfortunately my boys turning almost like a pack of wolfs, not that they are looking for blood, but that they share each others logic an will support each other in argumentation and debate especially against a newcomer. I’d like to think Jon or Jill would similarly support Chris. Somehow I think that my boys and Jon would not even be caught dead in the same conversations – though I’d love to see them try. Just don’t know so much of what Jon would or would not talk about. I guess I’ve been seeing him as a little withdrawn. There is a lot to talk about actually, because of just having seen Joe. It seems though that Jon might have a new room mate and so might Joe.
I’m not sure if Jon’s roommate isn’t also doing the drugs and I’m not sure Joe’s roommate also doesn’t do laundry often. But, I’m thinking that both boys need the privacy of their own room, but the company of another.

Hmm, maybe Joe could adapt more than I think. I think Maury would talk to anyone that would listen … I’m not sure if Jon would be too exclusive. They don’ have Maury’s sports in common. Joe however learned a lot about himself through the relationship he had with his close friend James who was gay … through sense of humor and some earnest talking they found more similar than different. I think Joe would be upfront enough to start that in common with Jon. I think that they would also go toe to toe in matching minds. Jon would of course blow Joe out of the water with his knowledge of religion, but I don’t think Joe would show much patience with discordance. The drugs, smoking and drinking will be a turn off to all the boys, though Maury might share a bar tab with John. I think Chris would out last them all on that score. I don’t know if either Jon or Jill do much with Chris’ wrestling. I would stand a bet that any of my boys would give Chris more support there than his siblings, though he might get some grief with that too because of the showmanship part. But, I think they’d find that part fun. I don’t know what Rich’s liberal kids would think of Thom’s military base. They might respect, but think him frigid, though Thom could most likely break some of those barriers.

All in all it’s kind of fun to think of all them together. Most families though getting together like this later in life probably stick to her family is coming over or his, but don’t usually mix. I hope they do drop in on each other though. The combination of kids be just so cool. I’m afraid a bit about Rich’s kids because of the acceptance part. I’m the other woman separating their father and mother, but they’ve been a part of my life for so long … I would like to meet them on the friendly side of life and get to know them and start going through whatever it will be necessary to gain their comfort levels. Hmm, that’ll be sometime years further down the line. But, maybe Rich is close … I see it as just a couple more months down the line … Enough so I should have to start worrying about keeping a neater house. Yeeks! You heard me babe!

Ok, your scaring me again. Shhh. Let’s not go into panic mode. Just have to look at things one at a time. It’s getting to be spring again. Maybe some new rules on the tables, but they are not terrible – just could use improvements as well as keeping clothes picked up. AND we should really do something in that back bedroom.

We’ve been there … still don’t know what to make of that space. I’m thinking now … the best thing we could do at this point is to take out the extra bed maybe and make the second room into an extra office space for Rich? Is that our overrun? Thinking about the stuff in his bedroom. Not sure. I guess we’re back to figuring out that mess over at his house. Could be again that we need flat storage space. Hmm, maybe later today over turkey dinner we could entertain that conversation. If Rich’s son is going to move in with a roommate and not his Dad … yes not sure if we talked about that here, but that was a thought, then Rich is here, BUT still should move his stuff out of the house, ESPECIALLY if Chris and Christy is going to move into their own apartment. Chances are more likely that the wife is going to give up the big house for a smaller condo. The divorce might turn, though it would take forever to sell the house in this market … BLAH! Would if it sold free up some money or maybe responsibility for Rich … he’s still sluggish in figuring all that out. So, what are we waiting for … maybe someone to push Rich … They have put out a couple power moves. Rich is doing stuff with bathroom now making decisions and setting dates AND there was something about him checking out things they were throwing out.

It was supposed to happen as an alternative to a raindate … forgot to ask earlier this week if that went through. But, still is he going to help that situation by putting things into storage … or is he going to wait until Chris and Christy move out – and the house goes up for sale and what – the next people are moving out?

Will he clear it to clear up its appearance. It seems like he’s going to hold it in reserve to its bitter end. Hate to say that of honey, but maybe he’s forcing her to take just what she can fit in her new place – as a tactical move? Who’s to say.

What does he really want … it’s so hard for him to make plans, but then sometimes when something goes through we find hes got whole complicated plans figured out.

Today he talked about the plans of someday moving into his mother’s place. And, it was like, hmm? What about Bud – well Bud and Mom … Bud’s going to live forever, even if you think your mother will go sooner. And, then what about your brother and Bud’s 5 kids? How much is that place worth? $150,000 split 7 ways? $20,000?

That’s not exactly a retirement plan? I’m not sure where he was coming from there.

The place is in the middle of no where. It’s a trailer home? We’d been talking of a half million dollar estate … certainly feel were going the wrong direction here.

Yes, sweetie I’ll follow you to the end of the Earth, but let’s keep thinking, k? Hehhee

Oh man that was soo cool …. Rich came by to talk over a few things and he was facing the big window and he noticed something I’d never seen, though Missy had noticed too. There was a Mrs. Dove outside on the balcony railing and then in not too much longer a Mr. Dove came by too, so we watched and talked about that too, but it was pretty cool and then we lost our place multiplyingly speaking. We forgot that again in our dynamics of relating to new family … it always seems to put us back in relating to others – who may or may not want to hurt us. It’s a scary thing. Rich says especially Chris because of all his contact with his mother – he might have hostile thoughts towards us. What happens the first time a dove come by and we’re a little kid … is he going to act in a manner that’s mean? I would hope not, but we gotta deal with that too … what happens when those kinds of stories goes back to Rich’s ex … it’s been an easy reason to stay away from my ex and his family … didn’t want to become the object of their ridicule. *Sigh* Better let it go for now … nothing is happening

Rich for the record is in his own way preparing us for meeting Bob. He said something this morning. Maybe that meeting is coming soon. He seems to think that we’re not going to handle Bob well. I think it will be a new challenge, but Bob and I will have to make adjustments and Rich will have to play a position of not being a middle man all the time, which is his natural thing. I’ve got to handle ourselves up front so things aren’t having to be rectified by Rich always after Bob leaves.

Cuz that could get very tiring. So we mostly then gotta be alright upfront.

*Sigh* So many new challenges. First My kids, then Bob, and THEN his kids. Heaven knows when Sr. is going to find out. All we need is one vindictive employee and I think we have one right between us. Ok, not so much stress needed on a nice Sunday morning. K?

Hmm, thinking I might take a small break and write a short letter to Thom it’s about 12:45 pm now. I’m coming to a small breather space. I’m kind of confused by the Message Board … I stopped for the umpteenth time to check it and it seems like it’s not going anywhere .. I was willing to believe it was the moderators not adding anything. It stayed on the same two entries from yesterday no later than 8 am.

But, now it seems there is a lone entry at today’s date marked for 1:57 am so maybe it was the members problem in not writing entries and not the moderators fault. I’m not sure. It’s a bit like the twilight zone not having new entries. I’m on 40% of the last entries on this front page – so its not like I’m not doing my part plus most likely too much more. There are about 35-40 people on this board … part of the effort has to come from them too. I refuse to put anything down until some of them put some stuff down … if they’re weekend is so good … I’ll continue writing elsewhere, Hmpf!

Ok, going to write Thom – then write to his buddies – the maybe to Iraq – then maybe a couple to the Pals – AND maybe a couple to my friends. That’s a lot of writing ahead of me yet … if possible I’ll check back here again, but we’re already let me check – yah 11 pages into it … plenty fine here good time to change over … be back soon :)

posted by Ann Marie @ 4/13/2008 12:52:00 PM Comments: 1