Ayn's Multiple World

A musical rest with see-through marshmallows

Good morning. It’s about 9:15 am now … it seems that we’re miles away from seeing early morning writing … well now 9:30 am. We’ve fixed our feet up … first we took a shower and used the new massager that Rich got us … it has a foot pumice-like attachment and then we put on the special crème from the doctor. We heard the one-sided conversation of Rich and his son while we were finishing up and putting on our socks. He had turned on his shower and was getting ready to go to the bank. I hope that his water didn’t get cold in the meantime.

I won’t say much because it isn’t my business, but I don’t like the sense I get of someone trying to pressure Rich – that’s what it feels like … to be fair I think the kid is feeling pressure to be taking care of his mother and the house, but he’s the one putting himself in that awkward position if he’s going to be getting married and living in the house for free – and then to be “telling” his father how to carry on the business of fixing it or whatever. Ok, enough said … I could be way off-base … Rich and us didn’t discuss it. I washed my hands, checked his cheeks on the way past and we’ve both carried on. I thought Rich took a firm, but respectful position. I think it’s a difficult situation all around, but Rich seems to have the upper grasp on all members of the family – including his wife. Have to give him credit for that … I give him respect for not being a mean person.

We’re listening to Celine Dion again this morning and I think Sweetie’s almost out of the shower … he wants to get to the bank because he’s worried about overdrawing something … I think others have access to the bank account. How he works it … God only knows. He’s talking about making money now with the ball games to put aside for fishing so I think that gives

AHA! Sweeties done and dressed … we umm guided him through it. And, somewhere in there we exchanged a few smooches … GO TEAM!!

He’s getting ready for the bank now and I’ve been tucked back behind the computer. It’s almost 10 am. Not getting very far with the writing. But, that seems to be the thing with Sweetie … we work around his schedule. The writing fills in the rest of the time.

We’re not sure what we’re going to write about yet. Maybe a quick summary of yesterday? I don’t think we wrote very much. It took us the majority of the afternoon going over the better half of December gathering the material we wanted to include in the OH blog. We need to leave a mental marker not to get so far behind again. Not quite sure how that all works. But, we know that at least we keep up on the AMW blog – so there’s that safety. But, the bottom line is that we got all our cross-over’s done – oh there goes Rich … he says he’ll be back in about an hour and a half … so maybe about 11:30 am. Ok, marking time.

I’m not real happy about the system of archiving in the OH blogs, but at least there is a system. You would have to be pretty dedicated to actually find something in there, because there is no way of knowing how many page “backs” there are except to go back one set at a time and that is time consuming and the page backs are not obvious because they are put between the bottom of that group of entries and the last entry on “My Story” at the bottom of the page. *Sigh* It is there for the record and that is the good part. Under the archive it states a beginning by the month, such as December 2007 and November 2007.

I don’t think most people I’ve run across in either the AMW or the OH blogs use them as I do. Most aren’t very long and most aren’t on a close to every day deal. Not saying one is better than the other … Just that it is part of our nature to be more the writer. Sometimes when I look at our writing it seems very immature and we have to say that it is ok, because we are a multiple and the age regressions are sure to show there too. Sometimes I think we write things that are smart, but more often we seem to take on a silly air about us. We gotta let that go, because if that’s where we are in our writing then that has to be ok. We try to keep the majority of the parts that come over to this blog about eating and exercise or about our experiences with the room, but it is inevitable that some of the other stories come too. We like to think of that as background. Clever, hmm? Hehehe another way of looking at that is that sometimes we’re a little lazy. It just kinda merges together.

We’re ok, you’re ok? Wow! That’s almost like psychology 70-80’s stuff Eric Berne’s, remember? Transactional Analysis? Hehehe ok, we’re dating ourselves a bit. We did want to say something about that and a little experience we had yesterday in the room. It was kinda awkward.

We mentioned previously that we spend a lot of room time “lurking.” Sometimes we don’t feel we fit in proper, sometimes we’re just trying to understand, but one of the regulars we like a lot came close to it the other day where it hadn’t occurred to us before. Somehow the word “Analytical” came out and she penned it on us. Was like Yikes! Is that showing?!?? We got some kind of cryptically encoded message from her to say yes it was … shoot … sorry about that. I think that one other guy the main watch dog one has really noticed it too and whose to say how many more … maybe the main room holder, and a few others – at least those who bother to think of such things.

But, then there was a part of all that that led to some awkwardness. I’m not sure how, but somehow a statement was made maybe by us that I thought that everyone had a story worth telling and that thought got challenged. I defended my point – but, that person was like coming from a point of depression and he or she was supported by another and then it was like they were saying like who are you a philosopher and someone was bringing up names of philosophers and I said I was more into psychology than philosophy and at that I enjoyed writing more than anything. I think that’s about when the one came at me about being analytical.

See that’s the point … it hit me again that these people were seeing through me to my oddness … and I was getting a feeling that I was unwelcome. But, that might be my own personal self-esteem problems. I think the one who’d offered her own analysis was commenting because someone new had commented on there being or not being any alpha dogs or something on that order. We commented back on us thinking that seemed to be more aggressive an orientation and that we thought some of the males more protective than aggressive … that’s what we got leveled for being analytical for. It was a quick check to us for sure. We pulled way back.

So after 2-3 hours of time in the room that was the most important part. I had thought this person might have thought we were ok, and maybe she still does, but I don’t know how people think of me. I know that getting into a conversation on something even hinting at philosophy, psychology, or writing seems to have been overdoing it. I don’t think any of those subjects are too difficult for this group, but by calling them that it seemed too exclusive for their tastes. As if counting all the carbs and proteins and understanding the affects of the surgery weren’t just as difficult of topics.

So, that is again the majority of the evening … everything else was relatively calm. I just listened. I think I may have talked a little more this time, but now don’t remember who we were talking with. Maybe just little stuff. At the end there was another lady who had the position of a QMRP as I had, but had held it 25 years before I had … that put her much higher on the food chain than us … she was now a healthcare consultant. Pretty sure that equated to making “bigger bucks” hehehe.

That was about it … Lot’s more people, but just getting to know more – lot’s of intro’s – not paying as much attention to the big guys – just tired really and falling asleep to the wine.

We had a little bad moment with Rich in that we were thinking that we’d like to be moving toward a little wooHOOing with him under the covers. We are having trouble again with the remembering when was the last time … we sent him an article telling him 12 great reasons why to have sex. He said something about a couple times already this week. We just can’t remember and it always seems like forever. He said that we’d see how the day goes and maybe he could give me a little tap on my shoulder later on in the day. We were concerned with when … so pushed come to shoved … he agreed that at 12:10 pm, we could re-evaluate the situation. Hehehe He’s such a smooch! God bless him and the middle-bunny that has to please so many multiple-parts!

Ok, ok … that’s enough of that for the middle of the morning, especially since he’s not even here! Hmpf! That’s not even fair! So, just you go turn another corner, please!?

Grrrr…

Ok, ok … so how’s the weather?



Hmm I think it still be fun to go to the zoo when it’s snowing, but Rich might think it better on Sunday when its warmest. We will get this to him right away 

Ok, that’s done … Not tonight though … this takes time to develop … we need to be doing something special for NY eve. I’m guessing that it’s going to be pretty crowded NY eve down at the lake and that it will be pretty cold. But, the fireworks must be spectacular. I would definitely have to take a nap. In the past I think its been hard not to have Rich here, but we’ve learned to sleep it off until the noise wakes up the animals. We’ll have to talk to Rich and see how he wants to spend his holiday. Long time since we had special popcorn, pots and pans! My only plan is that I get my special smoooooch of the year! WooHOOO!!!

I’m going to want to make the most of my last and first sex’ of the year too … yup yup lots to be doing now towards this New Year.

Umm, okkkk … your like back there again, hmm?

Oh, sorry. I didn’t notice.

Uh huh.

Sheesh… Get a life!

I heard that!

SHHHH you!

Ahem….

Anyway … we were saying … anything will do here. It’s about 11 am and we’ve got a kitty laying with us. I think it’s Missy … she’s laying in that direction at least. My mind is as vacant as she’s been this whole vacation. Didn’t take too long to get here either. Maybe that’s been one of the goals – to empty her – ya know, like Yoga! Ommmmm Ok, ok just teasin … WTF why’s everyone so tense around here … I told you we should have more sex! I know, I know … we’re not talking about it … oh yeah like way back what was it now 2-3 days … maybe less … your all more sex craved then me! HA! Ok, leaving that flame ball alone …

Soooo …

You know that commercial where you suddenly need to get way the hell away? That’s about me right now. Shhh, I know, I know… Change of subject

I’m not going to talk about work. REFUSE. OK HERE ME REFUSE!!!

Good so, we’re done with that. Rich done? Let’s see … he played cards – didn’t win us our fortune. Yup yup done with that. Boys? Sent Maury note for the zoo. About done there then. No more money to take anyone out … they need a break from us … there is always a place for them to go on NY Eve. It’s a kids’ celebration. Hmm, kitty got up … she didn’t like all the typing … well who’s to blame her? Tsch, tsch…

Think there is something new with Rich’s son … I guess now he is – the youngest one is going back a class or two at a time paid for by his bank – that’s a pretty good idea and to his pace I think … it will push him to do the grades, because I think they only pay for the better. Hehehe I heard Rich mention grandchildren in the conversation today. I know he’s not fooled with that conversation – no not us!

Hehehe well, I don’t know if that’s what Chris is saying, but most kids do and it happens anyway … we’ll see. I think Rich wants grandchildren … just in time.

Everything in time. I think he’s still hoping that his older two will come home and help take care of the wife, but I wish he wouldn’t feel so responsible for her. She really has to claim some of that. I think something was said the last week or two of her being unhappy about everything, but the Beetles band. That’s a tough position to take. But, if she’s seeing someone now maybe that will help. In that regard, I can see why Rich is sticking it out more now … and to that I say God Bless.

Next. Nothing from my mother’s side yet. I’m surprised she hasn’t checked her email … I thought she had gotten a new computer. But, maybe she is busy with whatever happens around her place at Christmas time. I think they had a little harder time, because it was the first year without John’s oldest daughter. I can’t trust my mother that my Grandmother is doing well either. It is their’ll strange code to say everyone is doing well to the day they die. No one tells the truth, as if people aren’t supposed to struggle in life.

Who knows where the siblings are … If I heard from my mother I should ask, but not really interested more than for gossips sake. Not worth that much … I think it would hurt more to know than to not. It seems as if my silence toward them shows at least my disdain. I’ve never liked being “treated” by them as sickly, or below them in health, wealth or spiritual standards. Never will. Fuck that dumb shit.

Ok, enough said there. I guess we have unresolved anger issues … No need to go there.

AHA! Rich is home now … and he was right on schedule. He beat the clock by 10 minutes. He’s put in a load of clothes, gotten his bills put together, and taken a call from one of his buddies. Now we’ve gotten some James Taylor music per his request of my request of his request hehehe and the like going and we should enjoy a nice quiet afternoon. He brought up my bills, but I’m not saying we’re ready to go there. I think we’re more apt to do them … umm later. Pretty soon, he’ll be suggesting that we have lunch … I don’t know if he has any more mustard or horseradish though. We could have our liquid lunch because he might want to do a regular dinner. I don’t remember having him here for two meals in a row for a long time. Not a very long time. I am thinking that he’s going to want to go somewhere. Not because of me, but more because it’s not like him to sit for long.

He’s an on the go type guy. Two chances out of three that he’s going to come up with a need to go to the grocery store before the end of the day – or, he will need to go out for a movie. We’re going to recommend though that we have an evening that’s even more laid back – just him reading and/or maybe umm LOVEMAKING … HMMM!???

Hmm, why can’t we plan that? We used to make ourselves more available … I say we plan dinner and then umm rest on our laurels hehehe … Oh wow. This is going to plan right into our schedule. On both CBS and NBC they are covering the Patriots and Giants football game tonight … I didn’t know they did football on Saturday night … I think I must be dense … Ok, so be it … we’ll watch football at 7 pm that’s always interruptible by you know what … but it’s something that can be planned for … movies? Eh those tend to be watched all the way through. What’s more football then can be watched either in the bedroom OR the living room. Yes, I say that is going to go our direction. AND, there’s no problem if he does want to watch it through … I see no problem with a 2-3 hour massage. Or watch, play, watch - Yup, yup … we’re just like that … we see it’s a good think to thoroughly massage a man back, shoulders, head, buttocks, legs, feet, the wholly schmollys – WooHOO!!! I like the way this is turning out.

Perhaps next … we could do something to like declare an early reading time? Hmm, he finished his book the other night, better check if he has another book. Ok, just checked he has another book. Hmm, and he just scheduled a fishing seminar on January 11th should be over about 6:30 pm – it’s on a Friday … Hmm, I don’t think he’s doing bills too seriously yet. Uhhuh uhhuh … he’s saying now that was part of the mail and he was just going down the list. Like uh huh, uh huh… likely story.

We want him nice and relaxed I think … Lessons here on how to jump the guy!

9 minutes to our 12:10 pm sex talk … HELL NO I haven’t forgotten that! Watching the clock now closely. What else should we prepare. I think we’re going to need another shower … should plan another one about 6:45 pm. Dinner maybe on the table by 6 pm – time for talking … this is good … I’m not sure what’s on the dinner menu … we’ll go through that in a few moments – be part of the action … maybe we’ll be done washing clothes by then – not sure maybe 3-4 loads today, maybe some by tomorrow or right up to 6 maybe we’ll live dangerously. 12:07 pm. We’re getting there. Alicia Bridges – I love the nightlife – this has got to be the good stuff! What’s next … this is our James Taylor mix  Oh good Huey Lewis & the News – Do you Believe in Love … I think we’re making headway here. 3:28 … 12:08 this will be a good song to take us in to the talk … I guess it’s like then what’s for dinner because we’re watching the pat’s tonight and foolin around and loving you all over and do you believe in love…

WooHOO … ok, reporting back its 12:22 pm. All is good in the sex department! We’re just back from the washroom and swishyface is down putting a load in the dryer.

Well y’know if everything has to be done to make it just right for y’know what time then so’be it! Are we kosher here? Ok, this then be the plan … Afer sir loverlot finishes putting over the load to the dryer then we’ll meet up in the kitchen for lunch. He’s got what he needs for lunch – the makings for a sandwich … whoops he’s going to the washroom first while we speed away at the typing part … but then there’s liquid lunch for me and solid lunch for him – yes we’re still dieting disregarding the problem with the wine and fiddle faddles last night while he played cards then the plan of going out for dinner fixings – maybe sub sandwiches, then yes talking, then shower 6:45 and you know the rest - Wait eating being done here and yes the 12:10 plan talked through yes worked very well as a crossover to all the above woohoo!!! James Taylor and all Rock!!! Hmm, better get to lunch!

Ok … here … it’s now about 2:30 pm. We’re a little spaced out. We were a LOTTA spaced out. It’s after lunch and we got confused because money got brought up and Rich started going through something with money and it was like please stop you are hurting our ears. He was saying that we have to do it sometime, but we were saying no it was too much. Then he said there was clothes to fold and we asked him if that would help us be less confused and he said yes, but I don’t remember all that happened because there were two warm loads to fold first the white underwear and then the dark underwear. Rich is on the phone with the phone company I think or we could ask him what has to be folded next. And, we know that our purple blanket is in the wash.

We were supposed to be ready by 3 pm, but now it is 3:30 pm. We’re going to try doing it the next time we’re up. But, it is hard. Rich says we’re going to the grocery store and we get to ride the grocery buggy. I like when he takes us out, but it is hard … it’s too easy for us to get confused. Today he left the bedroom before we finished with the dark load and most of it was his socks and underwear.

We knew what drawer it went in – the second one, but we weren’t sure of all the places the colored underwear was stacked. Rich came in and we were just standing there … and we said please help we don’t know where this goes, and we waited, but I don’t think he heard us because he was in getting something to help him with his bill. We figured we’d have to figure it out ourselves. We fit it in in three places. The drawer is pretty narrow and he puts a lot in it. I figured we did pretty good because we could shut the drawer. I’m really glad he lives with us now … things are a lot less confusing with him here. Before we wouldn’t leave the computer at all, because we’d get stuck on stuff.

I gotta think through the next steps. We’re going to the store so we’re going to need jeans and those blue things. We’ve got our socks on already. Our showers been took. We’ll need underthings … shoot I’m going to have to pick a top. Maybe we can wear one of the soft knit shirts today? I don’t think we’re supposed to wear the sweat shirt jacket because we are supposed to keep that fresh for work. I wonder if there is something else we can wear to keep us warm. I’m going to need going in there to check. I know that’s a problem. I don’t really want to go anywhere … I don’t think we have anything and I don’t know if we really need something.

Ok. We’re back now but the confusion is still here. It’s 2:52. Rich doesn’t want to talk because he says he’s focused. He’s done with the phone company and we’re dressed. We have a half an hour before we have to go. I’m thinking that it’s going to be cold out there. We didn’t find a top to go with our stuff except that one, but now that it has the cat hairs off of it I don’t want to wear it. I’m getting nervous. My stomach is upset. It’s kind of being gross right now. If you know what I mean. Why can’t things be more perfect all the time? The music is perfect.

I know some of this stuff, but a lot of it I don’t. I don’t know a lot by James Taylor. We didn’t used to listen to him. But, I guess Rich did.

It’s funny to think of Rich as a kid … but we could think of him lying down in the September grass. No Carly Simon and You’re so vain … I don’t think Rich is vain. I guess I don’t think of much except him … I’d cop to that. He’s like a preoccupation. It’s how I feel if things are ok. I like to take care of him.

Probably a wrong thing to say in this current generation. Maybe I’m lost back a few. Now We’re all alone by Rita Coolidge. I don’t want to do anything now but listen to music and maybe write some … but, there isn’t anything real important to write about … just a few fluffy thoughts floating around like see-through marshmallows.

posted by Ann Marie @ 12/30/2007 05:16:00 AM Comments: 0