Ayn's Multiple World

A day that was supposed to happen, but didn't really

Good morning … This is a proud mumsy …

I just got off the phone with Thom. I wanted to wish him a Happy Birthday. He sounded in good spirits and he told me that he just got a new job. He said that he wanted to do something with Maury, but Maury needed more stability, in that this company did not pay for the first month, didn’t offer insurance, and paid in regular salary only minimum wage. Thom says this company offere 70% commission, which is a great rate. Maury I would guess then is going to go with the company of his friend from down at the board. I think it was more stable, and Maury would then be learning how to trade by his new bosses method. He’s impressed, because he said 19 of the 20 days, he was in a positive direction. I’m not sure though of the commission rate. Thom said he would try to arrange his schedule so that he could do DePaul and this company. I forgot to ask its name. He said that it was downtown and hopefully there would be some transportation down Michigan Avenue. I’ve been very impressed with Thom for getting out there and trying to do a lot. He said he had gotten a new phone, or I would have offered to get one for him, if he would have accepted. It was a short conversation, because I guessed he is not one to talk long. I did offer to go out, but he said he had several things to be doing. I thought the funniest part was when he said at the end, “We’ll see you Mumsy!” Oh man, the kid is so gosh darn cute.

For the record, I did call Joe too. I asked him if he’d like to get together, today, tomorrow, Saturday morning, or Sunday. Really the door is open to just him wanting to spend some time. I think that if he can arrange to see us, I will arrange to give him $100 for his upcoming trip down to Springfield. I’m guessing that he has under $1000 left and we still don’t know how long before he gains an income. I just know there is going to be gas expense, food, and possibly an overnight. I think he could use the extra.

As to what happened to my morning … there was an upset in the schedule. We were supposed to be at the ARC Convention, and everything started ok, we got off in time and all, but close to the end of the trip to the hotel, we accidentally got on the wrong expressway, because we turned about 80 feet too soon. Man-o-man … it was touch and go for awhile. I think, I know enough to eventually get home, and I did, but it was kinda scary, because I couldn’t tell how to get back to where I was supposed to be because of multiple expressways, and cloverleaves, and construction, and rush hour traffic. Eventually, I found Roosevelt Road, which is a real good thing – it runs about 1200 south from the city, past north of where we are and all the way out west. I didn’t know how to get from Roosevelt though back to the right expressway, or toward the hotel. I think they ran parallel, but that’s as close as I could figure. I knew I was west, so I backed around east, and then found a nice pancake restaurant and had a nice veggie omelet, and then came home to make the calls.

I do feel some kind of guilt and remorse for missing the whole day, but the biggest problem next to finding the place was knowing that there would be no wheelchair accessible parking spaces left that late in the game, because there are so many people who need them. I know this hotel enough to know that if I were lucky it would mean a 2-3 block walk and I couldn’t take that risk, or certainly walk that far. I was also being affected because I’m a bit sore from yesterdays work out.

The thought of being up walking so much between one meeting and another proved too much for me. We’ll try not to tell Sr. though because she paid $180 for today and tomorrow. Weighing in on my mind was that I didn’t get any time to write, so that makes me feel out of line, and that thought that I could use these two days to be working on the paper. Yes, that stuff … still need paper time.

There are a few other things, I want to touch basis with, but for now let me go start the coffee pot again. K?

Ok, good … that’s started.

Hmm, they are sooo cute. Both Missy and Chief are lounging on my recliner and they are nose to nose. It’s about the sweetest thing you could see. I like it when they are getting along and being super close. It seems then most that they really are matcher cats and belong together. If something happened to one of them, I would have to really consider getting another and one that is young enough to learn the ways of the older cat. Ahh, coffee is about ready :)



Hmm, I guess it must be dumpster day … those trucks sure do make a lot of noise.

Ok, now to finish up yesterday, we had done the three – four minute drills on the bike, and there was one more two minute drill while we were showing Rich how it was working. I was too tired though to try for longer. I should set another goal right now to give it another try about 20 minutes from now. It might not be for long, but there should be some kind of progress. I don’t think we met up with Deb at all yesterday. I left her a message and she responded about 1 ½ hours later, but by then she left a message, and we weren’t around to respond. What I ended up doing was turning on Rich’s television to make sure it was going to come on for his Boston Legal, and then I found myself laying in his bed watching and old episode or two of Bewitched.

Rich came home during the last couple of minutes and after the smooching hehehe, we let him go to get settled in. I think he got home about 8:30 pm. We watched him and talked to him as he cooked his dinner and ate, and then we got to backrub, and well you know how those things go … and to make it better, we got in to his Boston Legal just about right. Hehehe. Well, and then of course, as we were watching that he got back-rubbed some more. He sure is a good back rubee. I don’t think either of us stayed up past that. He tucked me in and I was probably sleeping before he fell asleep. I’m not sure if he got another chapter read of his book, but he may have finished, because I noted that he was taking his books back to the library.

Good Rich!

This morning we both woke up late. I’d gotten up at two, but with 4 hours of sleep, I knew better than to stay up. After using the washroom, we woke Rich up by crawling into bed with him. Unfortunately, after we told him the time, he got up pretty quick. He took his shower while we made coffee, and then we joined him by the computer where he went over my mapquest directions with me. This is though where we really have problems without our GPS, because we don’t know how to find our way back when we get off course. But, Joe needs it for at least a little while longer. We sat at the island as he then made his sandwich and checked his gear, and then he was off and running. Rich won’t be home most likely until 10 pm. He has a game, that may or may not be called on account of rain, but then afterward, he has his meeting with the fishy guys. We had followed his leaving with a shower, and then we got dressed, ready, and out the door. You heard the next part, and the current part is that we’re back at the keyboard, and looking for any reason possible, not to do homework, even though I know it is essential.

Hmm, only 2 ½ minutes … better chart that. Yeeks. It’s not even noon and I’ve consumed 1278 calories. That’s terrible. Hmm, yesterday we were doing ok with calories, but then I ate about 992 calories worth of these apple-caramel-chocolate turtle things. That was no good, we showed no reservation. We are not going to be able to eat anything else with fat in it today, to get the ration down of % fat consumed. Those hash browns are killing us. Yesterday we were over the total fat grams and we’re 2/3rds toward that again today. MODERATION!!!

Hmm, just had a little cat nap with Chief. He wants us to be drifty like him. And, believe me with the big breakfast the temptation is there. Damm He’s settling in again. What to do, what to do. Need to be alert. I will wait and then spring for coffee? Or, I will go lay down proper and get it over with? You know the one I should do, but we’re no good here are we? Damn.

We’re back again … It’s now about 4:45 pm.



We’ve been up from our nap for a bit. We talked to Deb for a while, and then we had dinner, read a little, and now we’re back here. We are disappointing ourselves with our accomplishments. I have to break that thread, so I’m going to the treadmill now … brb.



Whew ok … not very long … another 3 minute and 20 seconds. We set the timer for another 35 minutes. We’ll try again. We also did our recording … We’re at 1900 calories and we’d like to hold it there for the day, which means only maybe will we have the grapefruit later. For the record, we had a little pineapple left from yesterday. Rich and us shared a mini after he got home.

Aha! So, now we are here again. We had a very nice surprise. Our friend came home for about 75 minutes between activities. His game got canceled due to rain, and he wanted to eat dinner economically, before going out with the fishy guys. Cool, cool. He had to also drop some clothes at the cleaners and then pick up his friend a couple blocks over. I know which one is his apartment now. WooHOOO … I’d gotten down the building part, but couldn’t remember which apartment. Now I know. Good Ann. I’m not sure if he knows which apartment, but he may have asked. Not sure.

I’m glad he gets to do the drive with his friend. Seems to make a lot of sense. He said he might go out for a beer, but he wasn’t sure. So, we’ll have to see how that plays out. In the meantime, I talked to Deb for a moment. She was on her way to church. Poor Deb, she’s achy because of some physical tests she had to do to maintain her position. I really dislike when she’s in pain. I suggested that if my phone was working that we talk maybe tonight. Especially since our friend won’t be home until 9:30-10.

We had a so-so time talking with him. We had to go over some motivation stuff on school and not spending money. He had brought up the mail with the zoo membership so there was that question needed to be answered. We said we’d like to tell you about money stuff before we do it, but we are scared you are going to be mad. But, he wasn’t. He thought the zoo was reasonable. I was glad for that. We talked to him ahead of time in that I told him that we wanted to give Joe $100 to go down to Springfield next week. He said that was ok too and that he would be spending $1500 about to help his son buy a car. We hadn’t questioned his gift to son, nor had we thought the two sons next to each other, but I was glad that he didn’t mind. Hehehe he did say something about getting his money out of our account. We laughed … FINALLY we said. He hadn’t wanted to before, but we’d hoped sense kicked in because we are not too good at saving money. I was so glad Joe got squeaked in there though. I hadn’t told him previous to making the arrangement, but I did tell Joe after that I would like to give him a little extra. He said that he might be able to take that. He always makes me so happy. He’s such a good Joe. It’s not too much, but hopefully enough for gas and some food. He said that he got his hair cut today, so I know that he’s thinking about things. Every time I can bring a smile to his face, it makes me happy.

Rich and us talked a little about the treadmill too. I told him that the guy had called back and said that it really should be fixed and that it was going to be a $300 fee. That would cover the treadmill, maybe the lubricant stuff and the labor.

It’s a lot of money and I guess we’re going to need consider how relevant this machine is going to be. Speaking of … I should try it again. BRB.

Good girl … that’s another 3 1/2. The timer went off when Rich was home too, so we
did one then as well.



Ok, back back. We might see if we can walk in slippers, but otherwise we might be feeling a conflict. Because pretty much by this time of the day, we want to be feeling more casual. Hehehe sent a little note along to Deb. She’s over at church and should be home in about 20-30 minutes. Yup, yup that’s how I want to do life … just us and the friends and having a good time. Hmm, I hope I don’t get too tired.

I think my light slippers might work … the ones with the rubber like grip on the bottom. I think they will lift up when I walk … the other ones my nice fluffy bunny slippers need a little more focus on the toe gripping part. Yup yup you read it here first. Oh yeah … one other thing we did was to connect the boombox. The cord goes over the top of the floor … that was Sweetie Pie’s suggestion that it not have to go in back of the furniture. He also said that we could put it on the dresser with the lamp, but we have the lamp so nice right now in front of the wall hanging.

We’re thinking that we would like now just a $10-20 long skiny, adhesive type mirror in front of the machine. I don’t like looking at the wall, although a slight glance gets us into the kitchen area. Whoops let’s go try this slipper thing.



Ok, that was pretty good. We did another 3 minutes. Not stellular, but a good inbetween number for the time being. We really do like the music on. We’re not as crazy about the slippers, but until we think of something better. The only alternative we can figure now is to put back on the shoes and that feels like a terrible idea right now. We set the timer for another 30 minutes. Our goal today was to get in 6 times. So, that’s where we’re up to. We’re at 5 done right now.

We’re emphasizing Missy stay down though because after the last time we were up we devoted 15 minutes to petting her and that’s pretty much enough for a while we figure.

Hmm, what’s next … maybe we better do a quick check of the news.

posted by Ann Marie @ 4/26/2007 04:18:00 AM Comments: 0

Progressing the movement part

Good morning. This is me. We’ve been up for about an hour. We got as far as making the kitty food, doing the coffee, and then checking over some writing we’ve done and getting it posted. We had a hard night because we told our Sweetie Pie about some of the stuff going on from yesterday. It wasn’t a spectacular accounting of the day, but we did a couple major stuff. We told him about the repairman coming over and we told him about the wheelchair … those were the hardest. We’ve got a couple more purchases, but they aren’t anything toward the first two.

He was very mad … I don’t know maybe just gigantic frustrated. He doesn’t see how I can learn to be responsible if I keep spending money … He didn’t say it like that, but that’s what I took to be the gist of it. He was pretty much absolutely sure, forbid like the chair, we were crying in the end though not because he was rough with us, but because he cared enough to not seeing me go downhill more. He said something at one point about not wanting to lose us in a couple of years, because I mean something to him. But, I got in my mind that I’m helping us not hurting us.



That sorta thing has me crying again this morning. I’m going to take a shower in about 50 minutes, then see if I can curl up with him for about 15. He had said to wake him at 5:30 am. if I were up. I very much hate to upset him. I don’t mean to be so like I am where I am not listening to him, but if I listened to him, I wouldn’t be listening to me. I’m not so silly I can’t hear the complain in peoples’ voices. I heard it with Deb, Maury, Dr. Marvin, and now Rich. None of them can feel what it’s like to be me. I think they see that I’ve gotten along without a chair so why shouldn’t that continue. I tried to tell Rich about it hurting more on its own like right now. But, maybe that was callous, because it made him feel like I was going to be gone. I’m not going to be gone any time soon, but maybe it is time I back that up with another visit to the doctor. I don’t know what’s going on with that. This didn’t start with extra pain though. Maybe that has more to do with improper posture. I’m going to try sitting up. It still might be a good idea to have xrays done to see how its progressed. I don’t know … doesn’t seem to be anything she is going to be able to do. Same way, I could check my fuzzy hand, but maybe she’d just send me to another surgeon who would confirm its too early to do something and maybe I should be wearing the brace more. It’s hard to tell because its been so long, I don’t remember exactly what was said last time.

No matter. Feeling pretty miserable right now … last night he got too tired and he didn’t want to cuddle. That’s the hard part, but he said he likes me to massage his back all the time, but he was feeling pressed and was tired. He has other stuff that’s on his mind like doing something for his son’s FASFA and helping his son with a car. His son wants a better car than his father can buy but the son still seems to be pressuring. I could understand that in that Rich came back and mentioned a Kia, but his son I think is too proud for that. I think the son is leaning toward a Scion, like ours, but probably the newer model.

Rich,

I wanted to share this with you. This is the more accurate information on how much a Scion costs. There's supposed to be only about 1,200 left, but that figure isn't dated. We were took at our dealership The price below is of 9/18/06. The model that I have is changed in 2007, so they don't appear quite as boxy. I think I've got a classic. I don't know, which one your son is looking at, but I'm very proud of my vehicle. Not the cost I got nabbed for though. When I called him on it, all he could say was that I got a lot of extras. Each car comes customizable to about 60 possible changes. I think the Ipod connection is standard. Maybe if you went with your son, you could better protect him from the sharks. It's of course a personal opinion, but I think its a very good car for the money and its important because its a low-cost car he's handling. He's been in one and likes it. But, this said, I will fade back to the back-ground. I'm sorry I used up so much of your car shopping time last night.

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Ok, we’re back again. I don’t know if I’m helping here anymore or if I’m hurting.

But, I can see why Chris is looking at this vehicle. Probably for the same reasons I looked at. The odds of him and us picking the same car? I don’t know, but one day if he were ever to meet me, he might think it ironic. I think there’s going to be upset feeling down the line if he finds I got something he couldn’t get. But, worse off, I’d hate to see him going alone, because dad is not approving his choice. That’s where we got stung. Not to say it is Sweetie Pie’s fault … it was my fault being scared of what he would say if I asked his advice.



This is me probably feeling sorry for self. I just got scolded for not going into work… He said that we didn’t think straight. He’s probably right. We think crooked. We think like a multiple … I’m not regular. Then he said what were you thinking and we told him we were trying to fix things … get things done right away.

But, then he was saying that we have to be going to work and we have responsibilities and such, but it doesn’t never stick. It’s like somewhere in my head maybe we know what we’re supposed to do, but I don’t like doing it that way.

So, I never learn. I’m not trying to push Sr. over the edge, just that it seems what goes on in my head is more important than the rest the stuff. I’m pretty sure though she would never hire a multiple again, because we can only be there some of the time. She hasn’t read the note yet so we don’t know how mad she is going to be. We just know we have business to take care of … we’re on a salary, but are being watched for hours, we have the extra hours, so we take them when we need to.

Least that’s my way of looking at it. I think in the process that I make Rich unhappy, because he feels he has some overriding responsibility for me. I guess it is like that. One of our thoughts was … you don’t control me. That wasn’t such a good thought, and then we were like we don’t control me good either. But, the things that I decide, I think I really have to do them that way. After the guy comes for the one at the later part of the day, then we’re going to go to the bank and withdraw all except about $120. And, then we’re going to give it to Rich. It’s obvious that I don’t make good choices in his book, and maybe the book of everyone.

But, I don’t understand cuz they seem like good decisions. He doesn’t even know about the zoo membership and the meters and bags and stuff. He does cuz we’ve told him, but he’s not at the place he can listen to it. He knows also for example that I want to go to the zoo and parks, but he doesn’t know I bought a membership. I don’t think I’m going to tell him anymore, because he just gets so exasperated with me. I don’t know what else to do.

Last night was a very heavy night … I didn’t want to go back there anytime soon, but I knew he was going to know if I didn’t go to work. Now if that lady doesn’t come with the chair today, I am sunk. Because that will mean another time. We will if we have to reschedule for next Monday. We have those two days with the ARC Convention, so we gotta do that and then we’ll be at work on Friday. I won’t use the chair if it comes today for the convention. I don’t want people who know me to see me in the chair. There is one person, Stephanie who seems to keep a little tab as to how things are with my back, at least she’ll comment on it, but I don’t want her or anyone to know or think all the bad things everyone is thinking that I’ll be worse off because of the chair. Our friend said; just don’t let me see it. I guess I felt grateful that I had dark windows in the wagon. We took back the email we’d sent him yesterday too, because we didn’t want to further aggravate him. I know he’s got other things on his mind too, because he’s trying to work out his own personal stuff, and his work stuff, and this morning the wife sent him an address to pick up the papers for the divorce. That’s a pretty major something that is all enough to say that I shouldn’t be bothering him with my stuff. I think I am going to have to get a handle on things. Maybe I could start with doing some reading?

That wouldn’t be so bad, but it’s not like finishing the last paper. Maybe I could do something in that direction? That is one of the things my friend brought up is that I say I want to get a master’s degree, but what am I doing for it. He’s right. It’s like Dr. Marvin said, I have to balance everything.

Hmm, just stopped to pet Chief for a few minutes. He’s laying with me now. I think he felt neglected, because when we were talking with our friend at the kitchen table, he kept trying to get up, but our friend wanted him down. I think he doesn’t understand that for 9 years our kitties have been able to be on tables and beds and now he wants them to change their habits. But, that doesn’t seem fair to the kitties, because they need some personal time with us. And, because we spend so much time at the computer, they wait until we’re situated and then come and ask for a little attention. Just like Chief is putting up with the typing now while we’re cradling him.

Hmm, seems like we’re still avoiding the paper. I would like to know where Rich is going to go before I get settled into things, and I want to know when that person is going to come out. I think they open up in a half an hour to an hour from now. I hope they can still be here. Ok, STOP you are now repeating your thoughts. It’s time to get a grasp on things. Hmm, I don’t know if I said this part, yet but, the person I talked to – Paul said yesterday that it is going to be about $11-12 a month for the chair. I guess it’s a rental situation, so I will most likely be getting a used chair. I think that is ok. I’m a little worried in that our friend says that we can’t push our chair, but I don’t remember why he said that. It makes all the sense in the world to us that we walk the chair and then take time out to sit in it. I’m not trying to stay caught up with the Jones’ I’m trying to take care of myself. People will adjust to seeing us do what we need to do. He did bring up that there are enough benches at the zoo so that I could get by without needing the chair, but I forgot to bring up the point that I have to get into the zoo first.

There is no telling how much a wait there will be waiting to get through the gates.

I wish that Rich could be calm enough so we could talk about my plans and we could really discuss them without him getting too upset to listen. I kind of heard the same problem with his younger son last night. The son had figured out something, but Rich wanted to imply his way of doing things that undermined what was important to the son. But, then again, I think like us the son probably was still depended on his father helping out in the situation. I would guess that the son has built up some kind of credit, or if not, could establish credit from the purchase of a car to try it on his own, but that be threatening to him. I worry too, about taking advantage of Rich because I gave him the money and now I’m taking some of it back to cover these needs we have. He pushed a little where the money is coming from, but he knows that the money is happening because of the school loan now in the account.

I think one of Rich’s arguments and the one we fight with ourselves, is that we are good at setting up plans, but less good in follow through, which means we get invested, but not as able to keep up with our objectives. One of the bigger case in points right now is the membership to the gym. Something happened in that we stopped going … oh I remember the thing with the guy, but the thing is that we used that as an excuse to stop going. Rich is frustrated, because the membership is not being used, but we’re paying a monthly fee for it. Right now due to our circumstance of not using the membership directly, we can say that the we are holding open the goal of being able to get back. We want desperately the membership even though at the time we’re not up to it. Then maybe the question is again, how do we make ourselves do the things that we set up for objectives when we’re obviously having problem with the follow-through. Usually, this argument gets us back to thinking toward our interest in self-regulation. Shoot that reminds me that we have to establish an outline for our big project and do the cog lab, and finish the last paper. How is it that we’re going to do this one set of things … like how are we ever going to follow through. It seems like the biggest deterrent is that we need or feel we have the need to be typing out this posts and this seems to have priority over almost everything else. Is it just that we’re taking the easy way out. I don’t know.

We just took a break. We used the washroom and stopped to smooch our friend. He’s so soft and warm. He was gentle and nice with me. I don’t know why … we disappoint him, but he still seems to like us. This is the kind of thing that makes me feel like crying again, because we don’t want to do things that hurt him. So, we try to be nice. We sat down with him for a few minutes and poured him coffee. He said something about the exact frustration he was going through with his system … Hmm, speaking of systems, we’re having trouble being dropped and picked up by our cable company again. I know the bill is paid. That’s about the first thing you always check on. It seems the phone is working, but if I don’t get a call from the chair people within the hour now – it’s almost 8 am, then I will give them a call to reassure myself that they are still coming. Especially, because if the phone is not going to work, we’re going to want to use our friend’s phone before he leaves at about 9 am.

Ok, we’re back. Our friend let us use his phone for a while. So, we made a call to the cable company. They did some checking and couldn’t figure out what was happening, and I couldn’t be here tomorrow so I asked if I could have a evening or weekend appointment … it is scheduled for Saturday between 1-5. He was a hard-working guy, but the kind you didn’t mess with. It seems ok for the time being, but it wouldn’t let me go to an Internet site just a second ago. I had wanted to see why they had killed a 13 year old boy on the highway. It’ll wait. The bottom line is that I can type off-line, but I need predictability for the school stuff. Yes, that’s right after someone takes school away from me then we get protective. There was the second call we made to the home delivery service. They said they were loading up the truck now and that it will get here, but they can’t give us a time yet. We had to let the guy tell them we are definitely home all day, but without a phone, so they have permission to come anytime. He said that latest would be 3 or 4, but sometimes later, they will deliver everything before the end of the day. That means that someone should get out of her pjs. I did take the shower, so all that is good.

Our friend is home and accepted another kiss and more coffee. He’s on the phone.

He says he’s about 12 calls backed up, but he’s starting to make them now. I know he’s been working all this time since we’ve been talking so some things are being accomplished. We let him know of the service calls and he seems ok … he had no particular comment, and is emotionally in balance. Just busy. Like I said before, he’s probably leaving now in about 20 minutes. I think he has a game today at 4:30, so he might not be home until about 7 am. I feel very lucky now in just hearing the sound of his voice. I love him so incredibly much. Ok, then you … do what your supposed to do. You know you need to get dressed, just go and do it … Ok, I know … I’m going.

Ok, back. So far so good. I think we’ll wait until a few minutes after 9 am when our friend leaves to start the school stuff. We’re pretty caught up in the writing and have progressed it about 9 pages. Hmm, following his movements now, trying to be ok with the part that he is going to leave. This is just natural stuff, right?

It will be ok? Maybe if he’s packing his things up it will be ok if I listen to him … maybe he’ll talk outloud his plans. Hold on let me go check.

Wow … ok, we’re back. It’s now about 9:15 am. Rich just left he gave us 3 very strong definite kisses that I thought were going to knock me down. They were intense. He was in control, but we were knock-kneed. I wonder if he could at all understand the depth of what we’re going through. There was an inbetween part who was out who was very shaky. She was trying to tell him how much she depended on his every word. I’m not sure what else, but I know she had a shaky voice and was crying. But, then a stronger part came out and handled things ok except the part of the kisses, that was a lot to sustain. I think we talked for a moment about doing the things that we set out to do. Like a minute ago when we said, “go.” We really did need to make ourselves get up and dressed.



We’re going to come up with a few minutes of needing to be able to say paper, right? That’s what he bargained for as he kissed us … he said before it wasn’t goodbye because he was coming back. Someone had said something about being married and this was why it was a good reason we never get married, because we get so confused. He was saying for a second something about maybe this part of him being here wasn’t such a good idea, because I think of the one part that needed him so much. That would be a terrible thing for him to leave cuz we wanted him so much, but I think he was speaking to the dependency things and that we’ll do less while he’s here. But, I know that we have to do more, and we reminded him that we’d gone through with these other plans so that we could be around more not less. We need to work ourselves harder with reality I think … sometimes I think me as a part skirts away from it. Like I know I’m one of the parts that has trouble being outside, but we seem to be more excited about life, and yes terrified sometimes of it because it seems so huge and overwhelming. I think in our plans today, especially if the wheelchair works out is that we’ll take it to a park. Oh man … I don’t know where there is a park, that one place across from the BK is just like a park parking lot, it didn’t lead into the woods.

Ok, two things just happened. I talked to Rich and I got a note from Sr. Theresa.

She said that she got our email and that a chair sounded good for getting out and from getting to parking lots to entrances. She also said she understood that we’d be going to the ARC meeting and that she’ll see us on Friday.

Man-on-man God bless the ground she walks on … I’m so tremendously relieved she didn’t send an angry email. Oh thank you, thank you, thank you for not being overtly upset. She even had an exclamation after the Hi. Oh man I think I’m the one that must be blessed. Damm crying up a storm again … just weeping, there’s so much pressure, and I’m trying my best to be alive. I want to be alive. That has to be a difference because I feel it so profoundly. Ok, stop that, stop that … there is no reason for this kind of outburst. Oh why is it that I can do stuff that upsets people and they don’t stay hating me. I just don’t understand.

The second call was to our friend Rich. He said he had to pull over to talk to me.
I don’t mean to cause people problems, but he wasn’t even acting as if it was a problem. He said that I would have to give him time, but he and I could go out in the evening and he would find me a safe place to walk. I tried to tell him how overwhelming this all seemed and how magnificent and terrifying it was.





Ok, we’re back here for a moment. We’re checking though on one more thing, if we can get through with this silly Comcast.

Shoot. Ok, here we are again … It’s now about quarter after 11 am. We did a little navigating with the phones. After all these years, we broke down and ordered a cell phone. It is a free phone they say is $179. It seemed like a good enough phone and it has a camera … It can do Internet and it can be replaced if something happens to it. That all seems fine to me. I think I got a low minutes thing for 450 of $39.99 per month, but then for the replacement and Internet there was an additional $22, to cover the cost, I cancelled my home phone, or it will be after I turn my number over to Sprint … I’m going to keep the same phone number. I don’t know if Deb is a Sprint customer or something else, but I know the boys have Sprint phones, and Rich is a Nextell subscriber and she says you can connect to them anytime for free as well. I hope it is going to be ok. D***** I’m so frustrated with Comcast right now. I can’t get through anything on the Internet and people say on the phone they can only hear half of everything we’re saying.

The guy over at Comcast says I have a damaged wire, but he can send someone over to fix it, but it won’t be still toward Saturday afternoon. We had to talk to them when we canceled the phone service for the cell. The cell lady’s name was Joan and she was real helpful and patient with the bad connection. I was appreciative of her. I wish I could read more about the phone, I just glanced at things, but the Internet is so messed up I can’t get anywhere on it. I’ve got to be patient, right? I just have to deal with it until Saturday. It’s going to be ok. I think I’m going to try being outside for a few moments. BRB.

Ok, that was like enough of that … It’s kind of creepy out there. Not really, but it’s I don’t maybe eerie. I hate that that guy sits across the street all the time staring at us or anybody else that’s on this side of the street. It makes me feel like I don’t belong there or something.



Is this what it is like watching a crazy person go crazy? Shhhh shhhh, we’re not going there ok? Let’s step away from the ledge. It’s just that there’s stuff going on this afternoon, nothing got done this morning, we’ve got another something to explain to Rich and we’re a little tired and cranky because of this Internet/phone problem. We try abstractly to push buttons so things happen, and nothing is happening right. There’s a strong part that wants to lay down for a nap, but we know we have visitors coming. Hmm, I don’t think we could sleep through it – the sound of the buzzer that is … maybe if we tried a little nap?

Pshwo … we’re progressing. It’s now 2 pm, and we’ve got the nap done and both tasks. The wheelchair is in the wagon and the treadmill is on top of its game.

They came within minutes of one another. I guess the treadmill guy saw the chair guy loading chair in the trunk and he had tried to ring, but we hadn’t answered … he waited or drove for 10 minutes and came back, and here we are. I am very grateful of him and I trusted his service. I didn’t like the wheelchair guy. He was this is this and this is that and now I’ve stayed too long. He didn’t seem to want to talk at all.

The wheelchair fits into the back sort of laying folded together but towards its back. I think it will be all right the way it is, I have to ask Rich about leaning forward and back against the window when the car is going forward, back, or stopping quickly. The only thing I left in the car beside my white and garbage was the window washer fluid. I think it’s dangerous to drive without that. Otherwise my wagon is not going to have a lot in it. It’s not overly hard to lift the chair, although it is heavy. I wouldn’t want to lift it far. I am actually very, very pleased with the way it fits in. If I were being pushed I would want the feet part on it, but if I were doing myself, it makes more sense to just keep them off. I found it a lot easier to get around using my feet rather than my arms on the big wheel for much more than steering. The seat itself fits comfortably and it looks like we have the desk-size arms. I don’t remember now if the seat is black or blue. I’m leaning toward it was black. Otherwise it looks like a pretty normal wheel chair. Sitting down in it though I noticed it felt less like a wheel chair and more like a chair, but again I think that is because we didn’t have the feet part in. I would like to think of it more as our motor bike than something an invalid might use. We put the extra stuff from the cargo net and a plastic dishwasher like bin with car cleaning things in the downstairs storage. Everything should be fine.

Also like stated before, the guy for the treadmill was nice. A little shy I think with women, but he seemed to know his job. He actually started with just a couple of jiggles, which made me feel terrible. But, he looked it over real well inside and out, took measurements, and cleaned it up. It is good to go. He did say I am going to need a new belt and that should be replaced in at least a couple of months. He showed me a number that should have been like 2-3, and it was 10, which means the belt after 10 years was pretty warn and it was making the machine have to run that number much higher and harder. We’ll talk to our friend about it, but we need to clear a few more obstacles with money. I tried the machine and walked on it for 4 minutes, so at least I have that. This would seem the time to make a lofty goal, but maybe some regular kind would be fine. The guy talked a few minutes about doing just a little at a time and to go back often and not to mind if you miss one or two, but to get back on the machine. He bounded fine for us. He went down to the car to get our driver’s license which was nice of him. Obviously, he’s a younger man and he’s used to some hard work. Oh and he said the other guy would call us back with information on a new key for sudden stops, and about the cost of a new tread. So, I think that’s about it on that score.

Now we’re going to need figuring what kind of goals we should have. How do I know when to get up on the mill again. The first exercise was at 2 pm, for now let’s try getting on it again within the next 7 minutes. We’ll just see what we can do with the day and how hard on us it is. I also want to consider going to the bank. He charged us straight-up $99. That was nice, he had some other things added on, but he took them off. Maybe it would be a good time to bring out the performance thing. I think there are places to mark this sort of thing.

Ok, not sure where we are here …… I guess we’ve just finished up with the Performance Record. I’m still very frustrated with the computer because it seems everything is bogged down today because of the Internet. I may need to turn it off and reboot. But, for now we’ve added the exercise portion to the chart. We’ve walked three times for four minutes each. It’s about quarter to 4 pm. I think we’re still on line, but there is not much going on there. I stopped receiving email from the multiple groups and the exercise group. For the most part they turned out to be uninteresting and arteries clog in my email system.

posted by Ann Marie @ 4/25/2007 02:48:00 PM Comments: 0

A Day of Planning, but not a Happy-ending Story

Good morning … this is me and we’re getting a late start on the day, but it is such a wonderful morning, cuz we woke up and there was Sweetie Pie!!! Oh man … that guy … what he does for me hmm hmm hmm…

He had a couple of things that slowed him down, because his friend had to make a stop and then they had to stop for gas so they could divvy up the gas expense and then he had to get his car and there would have been some getting of his stuff from his friends van to his car, AND THEN!!!!!! He came home :) :) :) :) :)

I was so happy to see him. He’s got sunburn though … I knew that was going to happen. Hmm, finally got the last days blog posted that was a bear. We’ve had some trouble with the AOL program this morning … mangled up our email attempts. I think Sweetie got the brunt of that frustration in that he had to wait and wait to open a few important emails. I think he decided he better save some of mine, because he was trying to save on time, but we want to build up to that story.
I
do want to make one more side note in that … although it is low-grade, between yesterday and today, we are feeling more pain in just sitting. I am hoping that the arthritis isn’t building so much that I’m going to feel pain no matter what I do.

We’ll have to see. I did put in a call to Dr. Marvin, I’m not sure it went through though because we hung up funny. But, it was to ask him for more prescriptions and to ask for a prescription to get a wheel chair. I talked to those people all ready and if the prescription went in today, I might get a chair by tomorrow. It seems to be that fast. And, if I have to wait for a doctor’s appointment on Thursday, then I could get the chair by Friday. So, we’ll have to see where Dr. Marvin stands.

We can say that we talked to Sweetie Pie about a few things. We knew he wasn’t approving though as we talked … I told him I wanted the timer, pedometer, and blood pressure/heart monitor thing. He said that we could talk about it more when he came home, and we told him please don’t make us wait because we are not trustworthy, we want what we want and we don’t want to keep thinking about it. But, I could see where he might think that they aren’t usable, because he doesn’t know about the chair part, but we’re kinda scared of that because he is going to say NOOOOOOOOO.

We are going to get you healthy and not into a chair. BUT, I can’t get healthy until there’s some way I can get out and walk again.

Ok, good there was another call placed. There is a company in LaGrange that services our kind of treadmill machine. He says it’s about 10 years old, but it’s a good machine … that is encouraging … the part that is not encouraging is that it’s a $95 service fee. But, the bottom line is that Sweetie Pie is slow in moving to getting things fixed. I talked to another lady on an 800 number who was talking about unscrewing things and testing out wire connections and she was a bit hostile.

So, as calmly as I could I asked, if there is a local number in case that doesn’t work. We’re against looking at motors and wire and such that we have no ability to be dealing with safely. I tried to hedge my position by saying is that safe? And, for like the 5th time she said, “Dear, I wouldn’t tell you to do something that wasn’t safe!” Was like WELL DEAR … give me the f(Q*&_#% number of someone who is qualified to giggle electrical wires. One of the first things the guy said was did you try opening it up and I said NO. Then he said good, well chances are we can fix it, and I said fine. We also asked if he had an extra key to bring it out, because it had come from the brother-in-law with a colored pencil in it for an emergency stop … we’ve never been a big advocate of it. The first lady went into this thing about it not working because of the colored pencil. And, we were feeling testy … lady it worked before with the colored pencil of all the things that could go wrong why are we going to blame the colored pencil now!!!??? Well, I wasn’t that emphatic, but that’s the position we were taking. I felt much happier with the guy and it turns out that they are in La Grange and that’s just one town over.

WooHOOO. He seemed more a mechanic than a sales man. He has to call back in about an hour to see if he has a key, and to set up the appointment, but we thought that all fine and good.

Seems like the point of all this is … is that we have to walk more either inside or out, and quite possibly a combination of both. We got on the scale this morning and it said 320.4. This isn’t our worst weight, but we’re only down about 5 pounds and that isn’t very significant. Plus, I don’t like how were getting the twinges of low level pain. At this point, it’s just an irritant.

Now, we need to look at the next problem. I know what I want … so do I absolutely have to wait? I think I should be able to tell Sweetie Pie that I’m getting something, but he should just say ok, do what you think is best. I know because he said to wait and we’ll talk about it it means that he’s going to try and talk me out of it. I’m very against that. And, I need to save enough in the budget for a pass to Brookfield Zoo.

Hmm, ok, enough of that! We just ordered a membership. We talked to her about getting Rich on the card and she said that it shouldn’t be any problem and if they asked for a driver’s license to just tell them that he hadn’t changed it yet. And, she asked about children under the age of 18. And we told her we have 3 grandchildren. I always include Austin although he’s long lost, certainly not forgotten. We got the Family Plus membership which is supposed to be the best deal. It includes free admission for two adults and one free guest visit each time, and it includes free grandchildren under the age of 18. Sooo, I could invite Maury and the two girls and they would get in for free. Also in the package are 6 one-time only gifting passes in case Lauren was there or maybe Joe, unlimited free admission to the children’s zoo and to the family play zoo. This is good for variety and because sometimes it might be fun just to watch the kids stuff, but in our more responsible mode, it’s because we have grandchildren. We also get 4 free dolphin show passes and 4 free motor safari tickets, free parking, free subscription to zoo views and member’s quarterly magazine, email updates, and discounts on purchases at the zoo (restaurants and shops) and on their educational programs, special events, and lectures.

Pswhoo … I think that’s an awful lot for $94. But, the big key is in going all the time. Normally, adults are $10 and children are $6.00 and parking cost $8, plus it would be another $2.50-3.50 to get in the play zoo and $1-1.50 to get in the children’s zoo. The normal cost of the dolphin show is $2.50-3.00 and the safari ride cost $2-3. So it all adds up. Anything over 3-4 visits to the zoo a year, you are saving money. I think Rich will like that. But, he is going to need doing zoo hours. But, even on a day like this if I had the opportunity I could go.

Hmm, ok, now a couple more things. We wrote an email to Dr. Marvin trying to explain and also to ask for the prescriptions for medicine that we’re out of. I hope he is able to write the prescription today, because we also got a call from the treadmill guy saying he was coming tomorrow between 1-3 pm. I hope so far so good.

I would also like to order that other few things. I think if it goes through with Dr. Marvin, we’re going to order right away the extra back pack things for the wheelchair for water, side chair and back of chair. I liked what I’d seen and it is a critical part of everything to be able to reach and carry what I need. She said, she would send out the temporary passes for the zoo today, and the permanent ones would be here in a couple of weeks.

Whooooo ok, that looks good or it doesn’t. I am not sure. We just spent a total of $419.14 and are guaranteed to spend another hundred tomorrow. I’m a little buzzed here and have to catch-up. We spend $94 at the zoo, $213.29 with all the meters, and another $111.85 for the bags and all attachments for the wheelchair. This is a little scary, because we have not talked to Dr. Marvin, and we are going to need his ok, before we can get the wheelchair. Without the wheelchair certainly the bags and stuff, but as well the zoo and meters are going to be that much more unlikely. We are glad, but a little angry with our friend in that he said to wait when we didn’t want to. We told him concretely that we are not to be trusted with money in our account, but he didn’t listen to us. I know I’m supposed to be more honorable, but until the money is in his account it’s still in our account. I don’t have any more plans to spend money, but the wheelchair stuff and the treadmill are going to be important programs for getting me out of the house and walking again. I figure that it is time that I’m too tired to do school, but maybe I can learn to hold off food til later, and like I said, I’m hoping that our friend can join us sometime, but the fact of the matter is that he’s booked every day with something or another. He will be going to visit his daughter, go to Canada, go 7 more regular fishing trips, maybe go to Reno, and other trips like to see his son, mother, brother, and friends, work all over Chicago, AND officiate all over the northern state, meanwhile I’m sitting here like a bump on the log. I figure if I did shopping, at least, it was something that I considered good for myself. I’m shopping to go out. I’m very grateful that my sons are making use of the video camera and the PDA, but those are two of my favorite toys and I don’t even get to use them. I figure if my friend comes with me he can use the blood pressure and stopwatch with me, but we got too his own pedometer. Hmm, maybe I can get my video camera back from Maury if I go out to collect pictures. That was all in this whole deal of getting me outside. I still have still a regular picture camera and that might do, but … *sigh* I can be patient it’s hard to compare a picture of a monkey over a picture of my granddaughters.



That’s got to be a pretty good deal if I’m doing stuff to exercise. Cuz if we are going to have weight goals we’ve got to do food part and exercise part. And, I know that as busy as my friend is … we can help him to make some goals too. Like comparing his average day and then increasing where possible. I think mostly this next month though he’s so busy he doesn’t have a day off. But, if he’s not visiting all those other people, maybe he can go to the zoo or a forest preserve with us?

Right?

WoooHOOO … Dr. Marvin called back. He said he’d be sending in the prescription in a few minutes. It’s 1:53 pm. now. So, that means maybe tomorrow I can get the chair … I think they said that it would be Tuesday on the meters. I’m not sure about the bags, but it should be within a couple days, maybe I can check that hold on.

Hmm, things sitting over there on slow down.

Dear Rich,

Please do not be mad at me, but I have to do stuff for me where I make the decisions. These were the things I bought today. I bought a stop watch, blood pressure/heart monitor, and two pedometers. One of them is for me, and I hope you come to accept that one I am gifting to you, so we can play relationship games with the meter. You might walk 20 times more than me or 100, but maybe if I increase by 20 steps a day, maybe then you have to match me relationally. I didn’t choose the cheapest meters, I chose the best I could find for what I considered to be a reasonable price. I also have someone coming out to the house tomorrow from 1-3 pm to fix the treadmill. I know in your heart you want to fix things, but there is this other space, which I know that you’re not very speedy at getting around to those things. I want to start the program right away and beside that if you break anything looking for something else then it would be that much harder for the repair person to fix. This is not to knock you, but to say that you are a very professional person and this kind of thing needs a different kind of person. You shouldn’t have to worry about it.

In addition, I got a membership at the zoo for you, me and that which could include a guest - either your kids or mine, and it allows for grandchildren and parking and other stuff. The cost is such that after 3-4 visits ... it's saving us money on each visit after. The zoo hours are like from 9:30/10 am to about 5/6 pm. If you want to go and have time to go with me that's fine, or if you want to go by yourself that’s fine, but I need to go with or without you. It doesn’t open that extra 1 ½ hours until between May 26th and September 4th except its open until 6 pm on weekends between now and October 29th, and after that it’s back to 10-5 everyday.

Sundays the zoo is open 7:30 pm from May 27th- September 2nd. I hope that someday it will be your and our routine to walk either at the zoo, the parks, or even around the block after dinner. This is much more important to me than renting movies and such … well, I do like to cuddle during movies, but we’ve got to focus you and us on moving.

I figure that during the time on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, I will be able to go to the zoo sometimes during the day, and on Tuesdays through Fridays, I will be able to go to forest preserves close to home, but I will need to be shown where they are. Right now I can only go to a few stores – Walgreens or the fruit store – because they are small enough for me to get through standing up. This is going to be the hard part for you to understand. Within the next day or two, I am going to get a wheel chair prescribed by Dr. Marvin through the same Walgreen’s service that brought me the C-pap machine. Most of the cost should be taken care of by insurance. I’m not doing it to be wheeled, but for me to walk behind it and then sit when I can’t stand anymore. The meters are to help me watch my times and improve upon them whether I’m on an outside walk or inside walking. If I don’t walk I think I’m going to lose the ability.

Now, you say that it’s got to be ok by me that you go out and do what you want. You go throughout Chicago on business and maybe now to Reno. You’re going to Canada and going to visit your daughter in New Mexico and your older son out of town, and now frequently your son, mother, and brother, you do the games almost every night all over northern Illinois, you see your friends and go golfing, fishing, and to cards.

You go shopping when you want and about any other place you see fit. I’m not
against any single part of what you do, but it does affect me. It’s not that I want to do your things; it’s because of the relationship of me not being able to do almost everything. Part of it it’s true that I can’t do things with you. It broke my heart that I might not be able to ever go to a fishy store with you, because it broke your heart to leave me sitting in the car. As stated before I go home, work, and to two stores. Some things are hard for me to consider fair, but I don’t want to be mopey about it or harassed by you because I’m not trying hard enough.

I want to be able to walk more, and the only way I see of doing this is to have the chair for the in-between times I can’t walk. I’m not going to argue out that point further. I know the timing method has worked in the house, I believe it can work outside. Here, inside the house, I time myself for sitting 10-15 minutes, and then I have to get up for as long as I can endure. Then I sit again for 10-15 minutes and then I get up. There is no reason I cannot do the same outside with the chair.

I will leave it folded up in the rear of my wagon and I will not use it for work, or home, but I will use it so I can be out for more than 7 minutes of time. I am going to be very stubborn about this. I figure it is going to be about 50-54 pounds and I can still lift that much weight straight up to the back of my car, though I’ll have to take down the cargo net, and bring in some of those contents.

Limited ability to walk and needing a rest stop is very real and I don’t have to be like my mother and sister, I have to be me. It’s wrong to put that kind of guilt on me, because you know it repulses me and turns my stomach. I have enough skeletons without help from you. And, right now I can’t walk for more than a few moments.

You know this, I know this, this is nothing new, but maybe it’s gotten a little worse because of the weight. I have got to take care of this the best way I know how. I can’t go anywhere because of how great the worry is in finding my next chair. It would be cruel to make me feel that I’m not trying hard enough. You do not understand that the pain is crippling. Not between times, but by the end of my endurance level. I can deal with it, but I need some help … I’m not asking you to do anything for me, except to accept where I am at. You don’t have to stay home with me, but it would be fair that you cheer this effort to be out, just like I say, “Go Fishyman!” You can go wherever you need to go and you’ve got a lot of places; I just want to be outside and moving a little … going to the parks and the zoo will double my life. I’m sorry I don’t have the courage to do this hard fight with you direct. Please be ok with these things I’ve decided concerning me.

With all my love,
Mi

Ok … we’re progressing here right? We just talked to Walgreen’s and they’ve gotten the prescription for the wheelchair and she couldn’t find who had the order, but thought it might be going through the insurance. She asked if it were ok to call back in a little bit and we thought that was fine. I explained about already taking a day off tomorrow and she said that they could do as much as they could, but I needed to understand there weren’t any guarantees. So, now we’re just hoping. I can’t email Sr. until I talk to the Walgreen’s lady. Too, Walgreen’s other pharmacy order called back and said that the medicine arranged for pick-up at 4 pm was not in yet and they’d notify me when it was ready. I hope that isn’t a problem. I don’t know if they are waiting while getting hold of Dr. Marvin. I called the pharmacy, but I couldn’t understand the dialect of the woman speaking. I thought I heard her say that they were getting them ready, so I will hold off and see if they call or email me when done. I’m missing one of the ones I take in the evening, but there’s about 3-4 hours, before I should be taking it.

Man-o-man … it’s kind of a rough day and I feel like I’ve got nothing getting done. This is hard stuff to be thinking about … lots of arrangements being made. I think I’m about caught-up with things. I’m going to read through this post to see where we are.



Pshwoo. We did that … I think there are a few things to go through yet. First is that I did talk to Dr. Marvin on the phone. I think he has the same basic worries that Rich and Maury and Deb have … basically, it’s ok the way I’m thinking of this, but what is going to happen later down the road when we get lazy. Well, they don’t say it like this, but something about not giving into the inability side. I know that I’m edging toward a bad fence in going this route. But, I see so many more doors opening with it. I think the first goal will be to assure I can do 5 minutes, and then another for 10 minutes, and 5 minute increments on up. I don’t know what my blood pressure goals will be or my footsteps, or mileage. That’s the one nice thing about the treadmill, or maybe a few things. First it gives you something to hold onto, and second it calibrates time and distance. This is what we’ve added to the outside walks.

Somewhere in this we are going to need handling the school part too. This part isn’t any good without the other part. Well, actually that part is good on its own, but we need to be doing school as well. Right now its 4 pm.

I don’t think we expect Rich home until late. Hmm, I just left a message on his message machine. Maybe he’s doing his game already. He wasn’t sure and there were several things he might be doing and especially one real hard thing because he had to pick up his divorce papers at his wife’s lawyer. I hope that goes ok for him.

He’s going to have a lot on his mind when he gets home. I think he’s going to worry about cooking me some dinners too. We’re down to one left. Last night he got home around 8:30 pm. I know I took the shower at about 8 pm. When he came through the door I was ready for him. I had been sitting naked at the kitchen table staring into a candle. I was so pleased he was there and we were up and tripping all over ourselves trying to get in our smooching as he was handing over some awkward things and trying to distribute their weight until he could put things down. If I remember correctly, he started with his keys in his mouth. Silly boy! He didn’t take too long before he let us hug him. I think he was grateful of the slurpees waiting for him too. I was right in that he was dehydrated and burnt - My poor baby. We had to resolve the issue of calling in the Chinese. And, then soon after we were in his bedroom watching him put away his things. And, then although we were very willing to be touching him anyways, he was insisting that he get in the shower. So funny!

So, of course we had to go in and supervise. Well, yes, most of it looked a little letchy. *Sigh* Before too long … he was sitting at the edge of the bed and we were massaging. We’d already started to get a few stories, but I wasn’t real happy that I’d gotten any kind of full story. I think he was leaving out the good parts, because he barely said anything about the sound track part of his venture. Maybe it was all too close and real to really sort it out. Of course, we asked if he said anything more to Bob about us. I guess Bob asked, but Rich let him know that he wasn’t ready for that yet, although ………… He said that sometime in the future he’ll probably introduce us … WOOOHOOOOO!!!!

I’m preparing ourselves already because everyone Rich seems to know is gruffier than I take him to be. I don’t know how that happens. There were a couple times since Rich got home and he swore, “Shit!” Like wow … where did that come from!?? I think he’s like most guys where he’s got that kind of swearing in him, but he seems to have tamed it for usage around proper company. I guess he’ll have to put it back in the drawer. Now, when he says it, we go into a kind of panic state, thinking … we’re in a very bad crisis. But, it’s been things where he couldn’t remember where his keys were and stuff like that. Like remember Sweetie I took them out of your mouth? And, your cell phone … well, he figured that out … he had called for the Chinese. Maybe it’s because when you’re out, you come into contact with so many variables, that it’s really dangerous if you don’t catch all the cues. I think in his conversations, he is still saying things that lead me to believe he’s still looking for approval, or at least to be accepted. That kind of thing is the kind of thoughts you might get from losing your father at an early age.

I think Rich is very conscientious about taking things that might rile others, more calmly. Like one of the first things he said was that the guy he was fishing with did things his way, but didn’t want ideas from Rich – probably didn’t take any backseater ideas. So, Rich had to fish almost defensively. The guy hogged the lead spots. That’s not exactly how Rich said it, but more my interpretation. I think that was the lead on his mind though, perhaps some kind of unfairness one gets for not owning a boat, like people stop being nice, because they are the ones better off. Again, he never really complains about the guys, but I feel myself feeling defensive over him. I don’t want people to hurt his feelings. Most of the time though, Rich tells me by his memories, what it is like out there. There’s the fun part which is fishing, but I really believe it to be work. You can be sitting there with a rod in your hand, but you are thinking about and acting toward fishing … I know that when I concentrate on anything over a period of time, I get tired. And, I can’t believe it any different from them, especially because there are things that happen that are exciting. He told us a story he said was his biggest story. And, it was about a fish … I forget its name, but it has alligator jaws and was about 4 feet long and can get up to about 6 feet long. I wasn’t too sure I liked that story at all! He was saying that you had to be very careful of not getting your hand by its mouth and I had the impression that it was swinging all over. Actually, there was kind of a funny story, because Rich told me of the other guy handling it. It was on his line and he said he wasn’t going to lose another lure. So the guy was shaking the fish from the top and the fish was shaking from the bottom and that’s about it, but Rich said it was pretty funny like in a cartoon. Hehehe I felt bad, because it’s obvious that neither fish nor fishing partner wanted anything to do with each other. Rich said that it did provide some excitement, but that no one wanted that kind of fish because it took away time for the regular fishing of bass.

He said it was the same as when a musky jumped on the line. Bass fisherman don’t want em. Hmm, reminds me that I had one uncle who liked musky fishing. Don’t know anything about it, except he was and still is a big drinker and now someone his daughter has to take care of. *Sigh* Not that that happens to all musky fisherman. Shoot off-track, right? Sorry.

Rich didn’t have a lot of impressionable things to say about the food … it was fine, but he grumbled no one goes for the food. It’s about the fishing. He said that on one night they had an all you can eat, but it was so bad that on his second plate he had salad, because it wasn’t worth wasting his calories on. I felt bad about that.

He had another night where the guys fixed small chickens and another night they had fish. I think those nights were pretty good. I think he was appreciative of the guys that stepped up and volunteered that kind of stuff. I think he ate out one more place, hmm, what did he say about that? I think just that he had something he thought might not be too “can’t ruin it like.” He scoffed at the mention of pretty waitresses. I don’t think he thought too much of Kentucky and he teased that the people all talked different. I wonder what he sounded like to them? Probably go off complaining about Chicagoan’s. Oh, and another thing he said he won one of three card games, so he might have lost $60 and won $40 back, or something close to that.

He did talk about the place they were staying … It was a house, which is pretty unusual. I guess there were ten guys and Rich and his partner came in like only 6th. But, he partnered in the house with his best buddy. He says though that he’s starting to snore. Rich said he got to the room first so he claimed the queen size bed and his partner had to take the single bed. I don’t know how that went down for the partner, but I figure they are good enough friends so that it was ok. The friend didn’t want to trade back and forth, because he complained something about Sweetie Pie sweating, to which I think that’s fine for us! Hehehe. Rich reassured that nobody petted and pampered him while he was gone like we do. I guess there was sleeping on three levels and our Sweetie and his partner got the loft upstairs, some on the first and some below. I guess most didn’t want the loft because it had no doors, but that wasn’t a problem for our guys. He said something too about the place overlooking the lake and that there were very few bugs. He said the first couple days were cold and then the next couple days were warm.

And, I felt bad for him; because he said they were like 3 hours late in getting out, because of something his friend was going through, and that if he had known, he could have arranged his schedule different. I think that’ just like a guy being pretty ancy on getting out of town. But, then too they had such a late start, they didn’t get in the first day and had to rent a room. The only good part of that is the room must have had Internet because we got a couple of emails. Oh yeah and he said the place they stayed the majority of the time had a big living room, with a dining room off the side for card playing and a nice kitchen. I think it’s kind of cool anyway. Most often the guys get divided up, but this time he said they all hung out together like they went out fishing, came in went to dinner, etc. Seems thought the strangest thing in the world to me to be going or hanging out with so many people!

I don’t think the guy sweetie was partnered in the boat with was such a happy guy.

Rich said that he did a lot of grunting in the morning. He also said, they never really talked. About the only thing he could say was that he hoped the guy had no problem with him, because certainly he did nothing to aggravate the other. Well, sorta like that … ya know, they use guy terms.

So, I think that’s about all the fishy story, I remember for right now. But, I know there was more. I sometimes get though this kinda sad feeling that my friend isn’t telling me everything. Not, because he couldn’t, but maybe he has sad feelings about not being as happy as he would like. I think maybe we spoiled him … we act and respect him differently I think than others do. Of course, its true with me too. We get to talk a certain level of communication and I think we expect others could do the same. But, I don’t think most people really go out of their way to get closer and a lot of times, they are guarded. I don’t know how much these fisherman talk to one another about their families, work, and such. Maybe when you are a guy those things are uninteresting, because you are so busy talking he-man stuff. But, our fuzzy bear is tough and can do man stuff, and is a man, but he’s not gruff or burly. And, I think some of these others must be. Or, some of them might carry grudges against others that aren’t as high society as them. But, that would be wrong, and if they were that kind of people, maybe there isn’t anything you can do with them? I’m not saying they are, but I worry sometimes about social class differences between lawyers, judges, and businessmen. But, then again, what kind of people would they be if they were out fishing all the time and couldn’t break down those barriers.

There’s one story left over from Rich’s youth that bothers me here. And, that is that he was self-considered by others to be that huggy-bear type the girls could trust, but that might get razzed by the guys, because I don’t think he has a mean spirit, or he could let-go being the brunt of others humor. I’m not sure if that isn’t still playing an effect. I think little things hurt his feelings. Like his partner wouldn’t go out of his way to try Rich’s Country of Origin brand of sausage. Although, I don’t remember its name, beside it starting with a “P” it be an awfully closed-minded kinda guy that wouldn’t try. But, even if it weren’t and nobody has to try things as new, I think it still hurts our guy’s feelings in that a part of him feels unaccepted. Again, I know there is a problem left over in his father being such an idiot.

Ahh now Deb has made herself available. We sent the fishyman’s part of the story to her and she is reading now. In the meantime since it is after 5 pm, we got dinner in the microwave, used the washroom, and found a bottle of cold water. Pshwoo.

Necessary break. Feeling a certain amount of tension. We called the Walgreen’s Home Care too and this time I found a guy that seemed earnest about calling back … he said like the last one that he was going to check where the order was, but the other lady didn’t follow through and call back, at least by the time I was worried about them closing. I let the guy know of my concern and he seemed more earnest in helping than the other woman who didn’t want to give me any guarantees. The only thing I could be thinking would hold it up is if they sent paperwork to Dr. Marvin and he hasn’t gotten to it yet, or if they sent something to the insurance and they haven’t responded back to it. We’re feeling pretty desperate about getting it by tomorrow. Hmm, the nice guy just called back and is trying to expedite … he is going to try calling Dr. Marvin, cuz he says someone else might have it locked in her desk that’s already gone home. Shoot, that would be bad. I trust Paul is going to call back. I don’t know if he can fix the problem, but he’s got a half hour to do it, so we’re pulling for him. I think that it takes an overnight from getting it though to the time in getting the chair. I’m afraid we’re sounding a little panic like.

Ok, breathe, breathe not the end of the world. Just might have to take another day off. She’s going to be upset, because I think sometime this week maybe wed/thurs we got the ARC convention. We’ll have to look that up again too .. hold on. Let’s see today is the 23rd? Yup, yup sure enough … it’s on Wednesday and Thursday. Guess we’re not working too much this week. Still wanting to know about what we’re going to do tomorrow. Glad I hadn’t booked ahead for later in the week. Hmm, am I going to Dr. Marvin’s? Better check out the times. Hmm, I could make it if I skipped the last meeting that starts at 2:30 pm. The convention has a lot of small meetings.

The last one is by a person doing a special social skills and peer sensitivity training … they focused on motivation to learn skills; understanding what to do; performance of skills, and acceptance by peers. Hmm, 9 meetings totaling $180 … that’s about $20 a meeting … interesting subject but not critical … better go to Dr. Marvin’s

Hmm, Deb’s coming in and out … think we lost here again  I think sometimes we’re talking to each other and she just walks away and takes care of something different. Whoops she’s back now. Hehehe she asked one question answered another and is now on a formal BRB. Fine, fine… Better I know I’m being snubbed HMPF!

Ok, now waiting for email. Everything went through with the chair. Someone will call me in the morning to tell me when they can be here tomorrow. The chair will be delivered and they will explain it to me. It will be rented at the cost of $11 a month or less. He warned me the chair will be heavy though because of my weight.

He said it nicer, but he didn’t want to mislead me. I hope its within that 50-55 pound range or its going to be difficult for me to move. And the way he made it sound mad e me think that I’m going to need putting down the seats in my car. But we shall see. Oh dear … we’re starting to have connection issues again. We had problems earlier this morning too. I’m wondering if there isn’t just too many people on Comcast for our area and we’re seeing problems during peak hours. This is pretty frustrating. Also, we did save this note that we’re going to send to sister … it says:

Dear Sister,

It's just been confirmed, I am going to need be home tomorrow. I had to have a couple things happen. I have a treadmill that needs to be repaired, and I'm getting a wheel chair delivered through a prescription from Dr. Marvin and the insurance company. Basically, I need to be moving more so with the wheelchair I can go to the zoo and parks and walk, sit, walk, sit, etc. I'm going a little crazy with being so limited to where I can be and what I can be doing. I've been warned by everyone I talk to about it not taking me backward, but the way it is now even though the zoo and such is so close and accessible to me, I can't go all the way through the parking lot and persevere through length of time waiting at turnstiles. The chair is not to be pushed by anyone, but me, but it allows me longer periods of being out in the world past the 7 minutes I can stand each time. With a 10-12 minute break, I can get up and try it again. I will keep it in my wagon. I won't be using the chair for home or work. The goal is to stand and walk longer. We also ordered a stop watch ... we shall see. Working our way back to gym.

Also, we're sending along a reminder link that the ARC meeting is coming up on Wednesday and Thursday.

Ann

http://www.thearcofil.org/secure/reveal/admin/uploads/events/2007%20Convention%20Brochure.pdf

Ok, ok … check in it’s 6:21 pm … it looks like aol is signing on … I’m not sure if the connection is stable yet, because it took off my buddy list and didn’t give me there little news blurbs, plus AIM isn’t on line yet. I can deal, I can deal … shoot almost forgot time for medicines. I forgot to check if they’re ready … I’m sure not still in pajamas. Dang. Ok, cable didn’t go through, and if I were smarter, I would realize that if computer isn’t working, neither is phone. Shoot.

Hate to get dressed to find out medicine wasn’t ready. Hmm, probably still have to be responsible for checking that out. I better put on some clothes. AND, go take the medicine you do have, K????

Yes, Ma’am.

Oh man … this is hard back from getting medicine … now its 7:30 pm and rich is due in in just a half hour. He had gone to the grocery store. We’re talking to Deb, but she had to piddle. Missy is even bossin us around. We got and took our medicine though and that’s pretty good. We had problems cuz we got all dressed beside one shoelace and the neighbor from downstairs came up and we were arguing politely about the parking space.

posted by Ann Marie @ 4/24/2007 03:30:00 AM Comments: 0

This is the Day Sweetie Pie Comes Back

Good morning … this is mi … whoops ok hold on. I’ve been up for about an hour, but we’re thinking it’s 9 am and I need medicine and coffee … so brb.
Ok, back and we got cereal too.

Hmm. It’s now about 9:30 am. We lost a half hour closing down the computer for a second. It was running continual mode which might not have been good for the computer, and was a bit irritating. Then I got caught up for about 10 minutes on looking at some news stuff on rock stars from the 80’s to the present and how they’d changed appearance. It’s just the fluffy kind of stuff we do … always some kind of distraction. Anyway the machine is not running on high anymore and we’re back to concentrating on doing whatever step comes net.



Need to focus on something. Let’s think where are we. I think we told you about the part where our sweetie pie called and we weren’t in such a good place. We’d been obsessing on the things that we’d wanted to purchase … basically the stuff for exercising with the wheel chair and such … We’ve tried to figure out where all that was at. Basically, we wanted to get into some kind of exercise routine where we could flip between walking and sitting in the wheel chair … It started from needing some kind of place to rest between walking and resting in that we can only walk from 4-6 minutes before needing to sit down. I’ve got to think of it now from a perspective of having some distance from it with the overnight sleeping. I think that we’re still going to go through trying to get it from the insurance, which means that they are going to need contacting Dr. Marvin. I would like to get it started right away, but I’m afraid that he’s going to want to talk it over during the meeting on Thursday. I don’t want to wait any longer than I have to. Because, I’m worried that someone will tell our buddy and he’s going to stop it before we can do whatever it is that we’re going to want to do. We had sent him a copy of the thing saying that we’ve got the school money in the account, but then we took it back so he doesn’t know about the money being there. That seems to be pretty sneaky. But, there are a few things that we would really like and it’s going to take some time before we can work out the details. Deb had a good idea in that we could go through insurance so we were pleased with that result. It could save like $300 or so. I’m not sure what the difference is going to be in the long run, because they will probably charge the insurance company more than I could have gotten in the long run. It’s up in the air as to whether or not I’d get a better or lesser quality chair by doing one or the other.

Hmm, that was some pretty complicated thoughts. I think one of the things that we’re worrying about is that we won’t be able to wheel very far using our arms when we need to sit down. I think though that it has to do with what our plans in getting the three way timer. The goal will be to chart our progress in at least three modes. A lot of this has to do with being at the zoo … this is going to mean we need time between 10 am and 5/6 pm. Our friend says that he is going to want to maybe go to the zoo too, but I don’t remember right off hand where all that was coming from. I know that it is important for me to be able to sit down whenever and I’m afraid of having that panic part where I don’t know where the next bench is coming from … and then some of the farther out spaces in the zoo that I would look forward to being at has fewer chairs. I think another part is that we’re worried about just getting in and then having to wait in a long line to get through the gates. I think also that we’re worrying about being able to lean on something, which is more support than we’re presently getting with the cane. And, there is going to need to be some way of carrying our things like water bottle, notepad, purse, camera and such. Hmm, that’s something we didn’t think too much about last time is being able to take pictures. That’s going to be a good thing. Hmm, so far so good, but we’re feeling scattered.

We keep referring back to pictures on our left from the blog. I can see in total the pedometer, the blood pressure cup, and the stopwatch. I think with the stop watch, we would start all three timers from the time we got out of our car in the parking lot. The second of the three timers would be stopped from the time that we stopped walking until the next time we started walking. The third timer would be started when? I had at first the thought of timing how long we could push the chair sitting down using our arms. But, I haven’t figured out how that would go, because I might start and stop it before we’ve really gotten too far. How would that work?

I know that it can save about 150 times from each timer … Maybe we would just start the first two timers for general over all time out and for the walking, then we would only stop the walking one when we sat down, and then we’d start and stop the third timer for when we were rolling the chair by and when we’d want to time ourselves for 10-15 minute breaks before standing again. That would work out with me. I like that idea pretty good. So in a sense the first timer is over all. The second timer is for periods walking, and then the third timer would toggle between times rolling and times resting between walks. I think we could have used the overall timer to figure that out, but we are going to want to study intervals in between things where we are progressing faster or slower from one more difficult task to another. I would hope that it is easy to use, because time might be of the essence.

There is this other part too where we are going to want to work toward getting back in the gym … I think that we had been like about 8-9 minutes walking at the good point so that will be an important goal to reach. Also, we are going to want to write up a timing sheet so that we can be recording … hmm, maybe over time we will be able to let the timer record our figures, but it could take a little time getting used to all that. I think the big thing with our friend is going to be that we have to consider this an exercise in progressing our ability rather than scoffing at the whole walking process. This is not about being pushed in a chair its about pushing ourselves athletically. We need to be setting goals and watching our progress. I know that was a big deal while we were at the gym, although it wasn’t being tightly monitored at the time. So, we couldn’t keep it in our head more than at tops a day or two. I think we might be going overboard with the pedometer, blood pressure, and heart rate, but those things are what is going to give us clues as to how we’re doing over all and what are our breakpoints.
I’m thinking now about the difficulty we’re going to have moving ourselves with our arms. I think that maybe we’ll use it to reposition ourselves. In a sense get out of peoples way, but the majority of time it will probably be parked between the intervals. Maybe it will be easier than I think, but it would seem getting over aspalt that it’s going to be difficult to push, especially before I build up some upper body strength. There are some shock absorber things called frog legs or something that would take up some of the wear and tear on the bumps, but they cost almost as much as the wheel chair itself, so that would need to be checked at the insurance place, I don’t know if they cover that kind of cost, or have that option. I think my weight is going to have a difference on the drag on the chair in pushing it with arms. We’ll have to see.

We’ve been trying to study its appearance in that we don’t want it to feel as medical as it is just a devise to make my life happier and more fulfilling. I found on one sight that chairs generally measure about 12 inches when folded and about 33 inches long, so I think it’s going to fit in my car and should be left there inbetween things without having to put the back seat down. This is something that would not have been possible back in the days we had the Grand Am. I’m really hoping it will work. I don’t think thought that I will be able to use the back cargo net. And, the things inside it will have to be moved to the first floor storage closet. This should be ok. I really don’t want to use the option of the back seat for storage if I can help it. I like the back seat for temporary storage, but not for holding long term items. I think the model that I was looking at was about 53 pounds, so I think I should be able to lift it just that couple of feet … it should be a straight in position.

I have to admit that when I talked to Deb there was this one other part that is pushing us to do this. That was that Rich had almost set up that I go with him last weekend to the fishing store, which was a good idea, because it was an hour ride back and forth. It was decided against, because I had the opportunity to go out to Maury’s, but the part that was the trump card was that our friend would have felt guilty leaving me in the car for an hour while he shopped. Especially, if he was enjoying himself and wanted to stay a little longer. I very much miss being not able to go to stores if I would like and I miss that there will be other such opportunities that I’m not going to be able to do. It’s just that our friend goes to places all over. I don’t want him to have to push us, but then things need to be considered more realistically. The bottom line is that I can’t stand or walk for more than a few moments of time and that’s not something that happens to most people. Rich for example stands for hours and hours at a time whether he is cooking, working around the shop, or doing his officiating things. I don’t think that it is fair for him to even imagine the panic in always needing to figure out where the next chair is going to be. This has got to be something that comes from me. I think I have a right to do more than be at home or work, and nowhere else.

Isn’t this why wheelchairs were invented? For people who could not walk or stand?

Why does it have to be looked so down upon. Ok, now I’m on a soap box. BUT, the point is we’re looking for more mobility not less.

Ok, now we’re going to clearly move off this mark. We need to be moving on. We filled up our coffee, used the washroom, ate an orange, and turned on the music.

That’s setting the stage for whoever wants to be here next. Ok, ok …

Took down the pictures of the stuff we want to buy … better check the bank. Hmm, maybe we shouldn’t have done that. But, we did clear up one thing … we had left $130 budget for medicine … that was good … we didn’t want to do anything to leave that short. We had gotten for our friend a cheat sheet of our expenditures. It looks like we have enough to buy the three timing devises. I think that what we’re going to do is get our shower done, then take the money to get some oranges and grapefruit, and then maybe if there is extra money we could stop at a florists. I think there is some by the fruit store. I wonder if we should try to drive out to Maury’s with the skates. Be able to stop for a car wash too? Basically, we would be getting to the point where we’d be able to get our credit card down in the car.

I think the trip out to Maury’s makes a kind of long day, especially if we go into talking, but then on the other hand I really dislike having things sitting in the car that don’t belong there.

Wow … been on the phone now with Maury for a bit. It’s almost about noon. He’s had a lot going on. He’s between a couple job offers and both have call backs to make sure that both Thom and he is interviewed. Toward the end the girls we’re needing attention so we had to say goodbye, but there was a lot on his mind as to which position over the other. He weighed one with the next and I hope he tries to keep an open position on both, as does his brother. This first set of opportunities will be important as to how they go on … and if one or the other feels negative then it will play against them. It seem like Thom is leaning toward one he has more self-choice over, and Maury is leaning toward the other where they are being invited by an old friend. But, as we say there will be a couple meetings and then more choices will have to be made. In the meantime, Maury explained an accident he had coming back from the last job interview. He hit the lady in front of him in bumper to bumper traffic. He said it took ten minutes to write 3 lines of information. He said that when I asked him if he was scared. It seems he’s working it out with the insurance company and he had a chance after the accident to talk with a police officer, and he enjoyed that part and didn’t get a ticket, but his car was probably damaged more than worth being fixed. It’s a $1500 car with $3,000 in problems. It is 11 years old and has 130,000 miles on it. It was a second car to both him and his wife. Maury had been driving it because something was wrong with his car and they hadn’t taken it in yet. I hope he’ll get some money out of the car so he can put it down on fixing his regular car.

He also talked about his wife being very busy with gymnastics and work. It didn’t seem like he minded the time being spent with the girls, but I think there is pressure, because she’s complaining of not seeing them enough. His view point is simple … give something up. But, it seems like she’s being very professional in being involved in important things. She was flown this week to a gymnastics meet in Minneapolis. She is a judge. There are never simple answers. We also talked about the wheel chair … he also saw Rich’s side in wanting us to work harder at walking … everyone seems to be seeing this whole chair thing as working backward. He reminded me as will Rich about the family – mother and sister – both being in wheelchairs and that might be just the easier option, which they don’t give the others too much credit for. I don’t know my sister’s problem, but I know she has a lot of physical things going on. My mother had a stroke. But, in each of their situations and mine, we are all very over weight. I guess part of it then might be genetics. I too don’t want to go in whichever direction they are, but I think its not will I go in that direction, but now what do I do with it that I’m here. Maury said to do whatever I needed as a bottom line, but he really emphasized taking other options to help me get out there and be more active. I think it is hard for people to understand I haven’t been out there because I can’t last more than a few moments.

It seems the better option to have a backup for when I’m going down and then to try again. As it is now … we don’t go out to try because there is no backup for when I need the help.

He’s going to be going out soon, but he said we could drop the skates on the other side of his fence and nothing would happen to them there. So, that is a good idea.

Have to see now about getting out. I keep getting the impression that people are suggesting that I’m not trying hard enough. I don’t know if that is true or not. I think very few people try hard enough. Ok, tried that. I called the 800 number on the treadmill, but got a recording asking to call back after 8 am tomorrow. They don’t appear to be open on weekends. I will ask how much to have someone come out to fix-it, or how much it would take to have it repaired. I know our friend said he will look at it, but its either do it now or we’ll have someone else do it. In the meantime, I don’t see any harm getting the other things so I can start right away. The pedometer is going to say she walks 10 steps every two hours.

So, the plan? Take a shower, drive to the car wash, drive to Maury’s, drive to the fruit store, and if there is any money and we haven’t stopped already stop at a florist. Then we bring up the credit card and place the meters order. It’s all from the same company so I’m happy with that. Hopefully, they will all come together. The next plan is to call on Monday the chair place and the treadmill place. Then, I will have to make some decisions. Possibly, I should wait to talk with Dr. Marvin? Grrrr, no ok, well, it was just a suggestion. Nobody wants to do just what other people tell us to do. We want to make our own decisions. AND, nobody wants to tell Rich … ahem, nobody? Wants to tell Rich we already got the money. Maybe though he would help us with the treadmill. The goal would be exercising every day. How could we do that today? The only possibility is the gym, but it would take us longer to get dressed then we could put into the workout. We will work toward that option though. It would be 75-100 pounds or about a year’s work, before we were able to get into a wheel chair that is for people a little smaller. Most chairs go up to 250. We are looking at a chair that’s 24 inches’
I think that we’re going to need planning to get off work and home by 4:30 pm. And, that would give us about a half hour to get to the zoo, and an hour to be there before it closes. The parking should be better at that time too. If Rich is home maybe he could come with us, but if not we have to be ok with that. The zoo goal would then be to walk into the park, and to see how long we can walk. We have to save enough energy to walk back. Maybe make it so there is the up time and then build-up time with our arms, and then sitting-time for progressively less and less time. Just need to see how that goes. Like it shouldn’t matter that we just get inside the gate if that’s as far as we go. Then like the last time we wanted to be able to do the zoo, we can stop and write notes. It might be a good idea to tape the notes, more than write them? Hmm, I think that the PDA allows us to save them, but I don’t know if it’s as good as the regular tape recorder. We could listen to the notes and then type out if there is anything important? Hmm, both are pretty time consuming. Why is it that we need to type out so much of our experiences.

Hmm, interesting all three devises have clocks on them, that’s pretty good. We forgot we wanted Joe to keep the PDA until after he got back from Springfield. The police that talked to Maury thought Joe was pretty far along in that he was going to Springfield. I hope that is a good thing then. I hope that their checks don’t include me. That would be a mess.

Ok, now we had goals, right? ‘Bout time to prove you can get out of that chair.

Let’s go, Hmm??

Ok, good we’re back from the shower. That felt good. There’s a nice breeze coming in too so I think the weather must be fine outside.



Notice how nobody is using that P for paper word. We gotta finish the next one before our buddy gets home … we’re thinking probably about 6-8 hours from now.

Pretty soon, right? About this time they are probably done weighing in everybody’s fish and they know who the winner is. They weigh in at noon, I think. It’s about 1 pm now. I did call Joe by the way just to say hi. I told him I was going to be out in the area, but I’m not sure if he’s still got service, because he answers back so few of the calls. I thought he’d be up by 12:30 pm for sure. I didn’t miss any calls. Hmm, what to question. If I stop for a car wash that will cost $5 and I won’t have enough money to buy flowers. Shoot. What do I do? I know it is Rich that buys the flowers, I don’t want to intrude on something nice he does for me, but then it would be nice for him too? I might have to put in a couple dollars into the gas tank too, I don’t remember where we were at with that. Should we be getting fruit or filling gas tank. Well, yes I know gas is pretty important. Maybe we can split it up … let’s wait on that decision until we see how much gas is left. For sure we bring Lauren the skates. I hope she’ll be safe in them. I don’t know when she’ll have time, but maybe it is something her and Ame can be doing. It would be fun, and I think Maury wants to get into it too. He’s lost 7-8 pounds and is looking into exercising more. Should I go and let my hair dry on the way? Maybe if I leave my window open I should be putting my hair back? Maybe I should pick up here and start the dishwasher? Well, maybe pick-up and start it when we get back … I like to hear it run. Ok, you … get on with it … no sitting about! HMPF!



Ok, we’ve done good. We cleaned up the kitchen loaded the dishwasher and lined it up to the sink, but we’ll turn it on when we get back. Next step should be out the door. I wonder if there is anything else we could be delivering. I don’t think so … not like I have cookies or anything. Just going out for a ride is all. Good time to slow down and just let thoughts pass through unhampered. BUT, no accidents … need to pay attention to the driving, right? Right!

Ok, you get going! BBL

Hehehe we’re back! We’ve been home for a little over an hour, but we’re talking to Deb. And then, she had to leave to get her daughter from work. We had a beautiful time over at Maury’s as it turns out, but then we just called our fishy friend and he is on his way home and just two hours out. Oh man … so excited … we didn’t say much just confirmed he was coming home and that I should save dinner – well, actually he should be doing Chinese for us and he’s driving and two hours away. I don’t know if that meant that his fishing friend was awake or sleeping, but I sure hope I didn’t grow his penis. I was good and didn’t mention it … thought that would be kind of too womanly to encourage sex over fishing. Better not go there … I think too often that he’d give up sex for fishing … don’t want to test out that relationship. Hehehe. I’m satisfied that he does both … and likely he’s going to want to do it after fishing AND before fishing and that all works out just fine. :)

I have to think of something to do with my tummy though so it doesn’t get too bent out of shape. The dishwasher is still drying so I don’t want to take it away from the sink to do the microwave. Thinking thinking … no milk for cereal … oatmeal and anything in the freezer would have to be microwaved. I’m down to salad dressing or an apple, but they are little apples not much good for tying over hungry tummies. Hmm, Maybe if I ate two?? That would be certainly a good Ann, right? Ok, we’ll try that. BRB.



Ahh that hit the spot … I found a yogurt and use it for dipping the two apples. They weren’t very big, but they were juicy. Good stuff. Our Sweetie is coming home that’s about all we’ve been thinking of while eating. Best not to be starved in case someone wants to make love before we eat! WoooHOOO! This is the best part of fishy trips is when he comes home, tickles some pleasures, and sits back to talk and reflect on what’s just happened to him. I ride his smiles and concerns as if vicariously I could be there. Not as they were happening directly, cuz I don’t know how fishy men even talk, but I love hearing the stories. I sure hope that’s not breaking any guy rules. They all pillow talk, right? Shoot, shoot what can I do special for him. I bet you he’s sunburned and he probably didn’t drink enough because then that causes other obvious problems. Better have slushies ready then.

Maybe 10 after we’ll take another shower, then make slurpies and light a few candles :). We’ll need some better music … let me see.



This is the happy picture we took talking to Deb while she helped us wait ... we got into going through some very cool pictures. I can't say enough about her ... but, I shall mark this moment with the thought, "penis rub!" Ok, girls enough of that!

posted by Ann Marie @ 4/23/2007 09:32:00 AM Comments: 0