Ayn's Multiple World: March 2007

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Things People Think of at Three in the Morning

Friday, March 30, 2007

Late Day Posting ...

Ok, ok … we’re back … the time is now 10:15 am. Several things happened. First we revised the policy and procedure for Human Resources, and then our friend came in, and then I had to go watch the front end again. Pshwoo. Busy hour. Nothing spectacular on the policy, but our friend is always fun to talk to … well, almost always fun. With his daughter home the family goes through extra challenges, and I think there’s a part of him that feels as if he referees them. Hehehe that and hand out that hard-earned dough! But, he’s surviving through it and we’re looking ahead. I think she is going home on Sunday, although I’m not sure. It might be Tuesday. I have to imagine she’ll have off Easter too. I was just told by a peer that it is coming up next week and that we’ll have Thursday and Friday off WOOO HOOO! That be some break, especially if I finished the paper this week. Our friend was going home, but he was in a pretty good mood all considering. He still complained and listed off the work things that he has to do. I think he’s fighting a loosing battle in that … he thinks when his kids come home they should sit and relax … perhaps read a book. But, I think their family is very activity orientated. HEHE that’s the part that’s costing him the big bucks. Oh well, that’s as much as we want to be involved. The big deal is that MAYBE he can come over tomorrow night and that would be a very good thing. But, there are no promises … he’s still into crisis management at home. We’ll let that be. We’re doing fine at this point. But, of course, this isn’t a long be by yourself weekend. That will cause more distress.

SOOOO, oh the front-end? Eh, that was simple only one door bell and our friend on his way out let in the person who was the other Q who took over my job up front.

Nothing much to do but make sure everything is ok, open doors, and answer the phone. The phone hasn’t rung though in the last hour … so all is good. Nice to be back in my corner of the world. Hmm, who said that yesterday. Maybe the inspector or the new CSO person? I’m not sure, but someone commented on them having put me way back here. I just smiled and smiled said how nice it was and how nice the garden, PLUS all the greenery is up and ready, so we’re going to imagine very soon will be afforded the view with all the tulips. WOO HOOO! We’ll let you know when they come up.

Ok, 10:30 am. What to do next … I had in mind that job posting stuff .. should I do that? Ok, that will certainly take up the next 75 minutes no problem, guess we’re off to that then … see you soon.

Hmm, just me again. It’s a while later. The time is now 2:45 pm. We’re holding in there. We’d been working before lunch, then did the lunch crowd, had lunch, did something, and then worked on the information for the Thinking Group, then we did the Thinking Group, and then talked to a couple DSPs – one-on-one, and then for the last 15 minutes we went into brain meltdown. We’re just coming out of it now. I have in front of me the information Sister gave us on the students or volunteers. I would like to get through that now, but I’m feeling pretty zapped. Might have to come in through a back door.

The lunch was done early today, because everyone wanted to go outside apparently. I’d forgotten to meet a staff at 10:30 am so that looks bad on me, but I asked her to call if it was obvious I hadn’t shown up. Maybe that is putting my responsibility on them, but in some way I figure this is their responsibility to learn, so that we need to meet some fair ground. It’s not their fault I forget. I had the note on top of my desk, but it hadn’t occurred to me that I needed to turn around at that time. I have a note of what we were doing at 10:30 am, but it wasn’t the right thing. Now we have a back-up meeting on Tuesday at 10:30, why don’t I try putting it in the Organizer with an alarm … that will work hopefully if we’re in the room, if not I think it leaves a reminder on the screen. Hold on.

Pshwoo … that’s done. We’re all set up. We’re going to try and start using the calendar again.

For the record, we did get done with both objectives in revising the policy and procedure and entering information from the job objectives. So, now the frosting on the cake one. Let’s look over the material you!

Yeeks, that face is scary, she’s still looking at me. Make her go away! Shhh, just pick up the material … you can do it. Go ahead.

Pswhoo … it’s almost 6 pm now … I just finished up a big section on the volunteers. I wrote a volunteer service agreement and policies on confidentiality and dismissal. I don’t know how things are going to go, but I’ve made a decision that if we are to proceed safely, we need to hand Sr. our work for approval. That means giving her the last set of reports, policies and procedures, etc. I don’t know how mad she is going to be over all the changes, but she has to understand what I am doing, because she is still my boss. I hope that this information gets presented at the administration meeting. I’m sure its going to be too much, and I most like am going to get lambasted. But, it has to be done sooner or later, because there is a lot more to go and I need to be getting on with it. We made good pace today … we finished up the straggly ends of the fourth page, and got about 1/3 the way through the 5th page. We need to get through 9 pages. And, then when that gets complete, we need to go back and restart entering information on the different sections. It’s going to take a while to get it all done and it probably won’t all be done by the time CARF gets here, but it will be far enough along, so that I think they will be pleased with the results. Soooo, that’s how it is going to go. Maybe sister is too busy this weekend to look at all the changes, or maybe she will get assistance from her sisters in looking at the material. I know that all changes have to be approved by the sister center and most likely they will need to go through a lawyer, but in the process I’m doing what I believe I need to do. Hopefully, I will be allowed the latitude that I told her I would need to complete the work. We’ll see, but for now, we’re off. I’m going to stop by and put gas in the car and I’m going to deposit my check hehehe before she withdraws it! Ok, on we go. We’ll see.

Bustling along with the morning

Good morning … it’s me. We’re at work again … this seems to be becoming a habit. BUT, the good part is that we’re starting earlier to function with the notes to the blog. Now it is 7:35 am and we’re already getting started.

This morning we woke up about 4:30, but then went back to bed for almost a couple of hours. That is like really sweet sleep, because its over and beyond. We did better at getting to bed on time last night and that seemed to help, though sleeping up to 6:30 am really cuts short the time to be on-line first thing of the day. Dr. Marvin asked how our sleep was coming along. I guess it would a success to know that we could sleep through 8-9 hours of sleep. JUST we’re NOT getting much done in the morning and that’s disappointing.

With all that said, not too much happened this morning. We got showered, dressed, took our medicine and was out the door by 7 am sharp and got to work 2 minutes early. WOOOHOOO that’s a change. Usually, we’re at least 10 minutes behind schedule. We had a nice surprise. When we pulled up we spotted sweeties car and then we saw him pull out with the center’s van – to drop off customer’s work. He stopped by and smiled and said a few nice things, which only took up 45 seconds, but made me feel happy first thing. He seems to be in a good mood. I think it has something to do with being up and going so early in the morning. Good for him!

SOOOO, we’re at our computer … typing along … is there anything in particular we would like to say?

Hmm, let’s think back to yesterday, anything there? I think we worked primarily on CARF from the time we last left you on. With a couple of exceptions. We spent an extra half hour talking to a volunteer parent about a new program her daughter is in. That turned out to be a real nice thing. I think she came and searched me out, because at the time we were finishing up lunch with a peer. She sat down purposefully as if not to move, so we resigned ourselves to this was going to be a social time. Had to release a little guilt for not getting back to work, but she really is a nice woman to talk to … she cares about her family tremendously.

Woo HOO little side note here. Sister dropped off our check right away this morning … that was a nice surprise. We’ll have to go to the bank on the way home to make sure it gets deposited. Just checked the account … it looks good. There is still $658 in the account, but we know most of that money already went out. It will be good to get this in right away. I am going to run a little short if we get out money for gas and medicine, so we’re a little worried. We know this next check is already spent on car and rent … the way it is going to go, is that combination will be for $1265, but our regular half month check is for $1217, so we’re $48 short to cover it, which means that out of the first half month check, we’ll need to save $48 PLUS the money that we’re going to need for parking, gas, and spending. That’s going to be tough. I think that we’re going to tell Sister that we would like enough raise so that we are netting $50 more a paycheck. Usually, I think the raises only increase the amount $25-30 a check. I want enough in a half month check to cover the car and rent. We’ll talk to our friend first to see if there is a way to present that. I also have to consider that it would be better to ask for the raise if CARF went successfully. Usually, raises come in at about July. So, there is a little time.

I don’t know how to do the math so that I could figure it out. I do know that it may be some time before another opportunity comes up to be getting another assistant, and she knows definitely that our position could be done with two people, and that I’ve taken back all that burden on myself. I don’t know we’ll just have to put that all together over the next couple of months. I don’t think I’ll be making a unreasonable request. It was not frivolous to by a car, especially due to the amount of problems we were having with the last, which affected us getting to work. This was like having work insurance. And, the one other thing is that we didn’t go unreasonably with our choice of vehicles. We stayed down under $20,000. So, we can’t be faulted there. And, one last thing … we have been educating ourselves, so with that in mind … we are worth a little more I believe.

Pshwoo … ok again, that will need to be worked on.

Ok, good moving on. As to yesterday again. After we talked to the parent volunteer, we went directly into the staff training meeting. The women did fairly well. I think they liked to talk more than have me pushing forward, but that seems to be the best sessions when they talk and get involved with what we are discussing. I’d give the session then a “B” rating. Nice, but nothing really special.

After the group, I had a meeting with a DSP who is having problems with some of the goals. She states that even though we talked to her last week about the goals, she doesn’t remember this week how to do them. I don’t know what’s going on there, but I made it clear that I would take the extra time to simplify what she is doing. I told her that it was more a question of her confidence, and that if she could relax to be learning, then the goals would be found not difficult at all. But, I would go with her through the obstacles that are presented in the goal, her mind, or otherwise. I can see her tension and mental blocking, and I don’t think that is fabricated. It has more to do with her learning experiences. Since we’re here to teach … we’ll go through that too. It is worthwhile to her and the individuals served.

After that I think we went back to CARF work. Let me check that out. Hmm, seems like we had left out last a policy and procedure on human resource development and another on a job description. Why don’t we get out the master sheet and see what we were doing with that, k?

There are two things involved I think. One has to do with getting job descriptions in the little computer, and the other had to do with something on that policy. Ok, now I got it … I think we need to insert a few lines into the policy and then add it to those other policies that contain small changes. Ok, we’ll concentrate on those two coming up. Maybe the policy first then adding to the small computer job description material. Pswhoo … ok, there is a start.

Hmm, we went to the washroom. Good break … you are doing fine girl 

We passed by the leadership group where the clients were going over some pictures from the Spring Fling. The individual who had taken the dance pictures was just in and looking at them for the first time. He looked very obviously happy with how things turned out. His DSP was giving him good vibes about it too. So, that was very nice. I’m proud of his work.

Pshwoo … ok, we’re going to make it a goal to start by 8:30, which gives us 15 minutes. We didn’t get to the goals yesterday because of the rush workshop job, but it had finished in the morning more than it having taken the two days expected. That is why we had the staff meeting and it is going to mean we have the Thinking Group today. Other than that, we should be focusing on CARF. The one last thing to talk about for a second was that we had gone to Dr. M.’s.

It was a hard walk to get there and back, but somehow we made it. You are reminded to look at the video in the green box if you’ve forgotten hall long those halls are. Anyway … the hard part of the session is that we had to talk about bills and that seemed to last an entire 30 minutes. I really hate when that happens, but I guess that’s part of the whole. He liked that we’d paid some attention to the matters at hand, but then he was saying something about that we might have to be paying $216 a month for the next 4 or 5 months until the insurance runs out and we try to get back to the grant where it was only costing $50 a month. Obviously you could guess where adding another $170 to our budget might be a problem. It might be ok after the dental bills are paid, but that will be another 2-3 months. I’m not sure how to do it … except not to pay the bills of the collection agencies. Plus there is about $1,100 of debt that isn’t getting paid because the $216 is only going to cover immediate costs.

I really don’t know how we’re going to manage. I swear I’ll put an end to everything before I go again without Dr. Appointments weekly. Well, I shouldn’t be saying that … that kind of thinking will get us in trouble. It’s a flighty second of thinking through that horror again … the appointments are just too important. I don’t like how he’s saying the hospital isn’t able to negotiate past that. I know they can do anything they want, but it is some stubborn person sitting at a desk not willing to understand how much can and cannot be paid. I don’t know … we’ll just have to wait it out. Next month we’ll look at bills again and see where we are at. There’s really not a lot of marshmallow stuff in our budget, and our friend is still covering food, plus some back money toward the $2,000 range. I just know that NOONE but our friend is getting the next over money from the school budget. We are too indebted to him to be comfortable. Especially, because his family needs money and he seems to be still covering his adult children. That’s gotta be his choice not ours. Our duty is to pay back our debt to him. So … that is that.

I just feel so riled up talking about money, because it is so clearly in and out. I think when we ask sister for more money, we are going to be very point blank in showing her where our money is going. Nothing more than can be put on a 3 x 5 card. We’ll have the figures down by then. I know she shouldn’t pay just to cover my bills, but she also has to have a reasonable idea on how much it costs to live, especially to a single person who has to cover everything on her own. Ok, ok … starting to feel a strain behind our eye. Need to stop now on that.

As to other parts of the session? I think we talked a little about getting to bed on time and the value of the C-pap machine. That was good. And, I think we talked about our friend for only 5 minutes. There was nothing new on the boys and he knows what we have left to do for school. I think we talked optimistically about the paper for another 5 minutes. We were trying to remember what it said toward looking toward upward comparisons for self-improvement and looking downward for self-enhancement. I thinking looking bi-laterally worked best for self-evaluations or comparisons. Basically, this is knowing how to keep up with the Jones. He was talking about where that kind of knowledge was leading, I don’t remember it now, but it might have been Kohurt, he was referring to … I’m not sure. Might have to ask that part again. I am disappointed it took the whole hour to get to that point so I couldn’t get to the grand part of figuring out what paper was presenting to us. This is really the beauty of all that we are doing. This is the deep learning from the brightest parts of ourselves. We feel an aching to reconnect.

The balance of the time was spent talking about what we were doing for work. I had brought with our 9 pages of summary of what we’re doing for CARF. I’d forgotten that we had shown it to him once before, but that was ok, because we needed it for a reference point. He acknowledged for us that it was very difficult things that we were going through. I think he thinks we are doing well. We went over the problem again of Sr. and our friend being so sluggish with new change. We also strategized as to what to present Sr. to be looking at over the weekend. I’m not ready to give her all the policy changes because there are about a ton of policies coming up yet. With any luck … we’ll get on to the next section today on students and volunteers. That should be easier, because sister gave me some material on it. We’ll just have to integrate it into the system.

Ok, next paragraph … we’re going to focus here … Ok, just did a very quick skim of the material on my desk to the right. Sr. sent some stuff as we’d expected on the Volunteers. I think that it might have to be written into a policy and or procedure, plus they want one on the dismissal of students and volunteers. That can be written into the above. We are good on the policy of confidentiality, but we might have to add a line to include that volunteers abide by the same rules. And, I don’t think we are required to do background checks on volunteers, but that might be a question worth asking. The nice surprise was that it seemed the sisters from up north have sent some documentation that can be incorporated that will help out with the next section on leadership. With any hope it will include information on corporate compliance, which also of course covers ethical code of conduct … there will need to be something to cover the education of the code to employees. I think it is written into the schedule, but that will have to be checked. Man-o-man … there’s just so much to do.

Oh ... one thing with Dr. Marvin. We did talk about the time spent obsessing on all the editing and just reading over and over again the material. I don't think he suggested anything in particular to deal with that. But, just wanted it noted for the record that it was presented again.

Ok, breathe!!!!! What to do next? I guess I’ve strung out the time enough … I’ve got about 10 minutes to 9 … I guess this counts then as our planning time. We seem to need getting through a certain amount to get to the next part. But, we’re about here. I think we’re going to pause here. We need to think, do we need to post now, or should we wait until the end of the day? I think we’re going to let it go on … that way I can go back and forth … although the other part has closure? Ok, we’ll compromise … we’ll post what we have, but then go on. Ok, fair deal? Good, now you scoot!

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Just a few notes to start Thursday ... keep going bunny!

Good morning. This is us again … we’re at work, but we got here a half hour late. It is now 8:30 am though so we’re not too far behind the game. For the record we talked to Sweetie Pie for a few moments through IM … He pushed a little harder the weighing in part. Officially now he is still up in his weight, but we are almost 34 pounds heavier than him. It’s pretty discouraging, but we’re going to put that on hold right now. Hopefully, it will weigh in when we talk to Dr. Marvin later this evening. I don’t want to get lost in that now during work time. We need to do some focusing.

It is an overcast day here in Chicago. Windshields wet, but not raining now. I slept in this morning in that I woke up at 4:30 am … decided to go back to bed and slept until about 6:30, and then fell back to sleep again until a few minutes after 7 am. Just couldn’t wake up. We sent an email to Sr. to tell her we’d be on our way. I have to do better at getting to bed on time. It’s really being havoc on the other end of the sleep period.

Ok, back from the washroom. Feeling a little sore and achy. We need to move on, right?

Ok, let’s focus on work. We must have been working yesterday, because there is stuff all over the place. For some reason, we put the two computers on the same computer desk. So, we are looking at two screens. That’s kinda cool. I’ll have to figure out why. We’ve got also on this desk an open book on a report for environmental health and safety and that’s resting on a stack of stuff sister looked at. I’m almost afraid to look at the other desk. Let me turn around and peek.

Ok, that wasn’t too bad … there was a folder open from something we’d worked on yesterday … we have to trust we’ll find that again when the time is right. We put it away for now and cleared up a few things over there. It looks like our in-box is pretty low and there wasn’t much mail today … so, we are ok with that. It seems that we were pretty much over at this desk. Need to figure out what we were working on.

OK, We wend down a couple more layers. We’re on page 4 of our written requirements page. There are 9 pages we have to sort out all together. Mostly it’s a matter of filling in reports and policies and procedures. The last one not checked off was writing a critical incident analysis. I think we did something in that, but didn’t finish .. it’s probably in our Word files, let me look.

Ok, that looks good I have a report that’s titled that about 3 pages long. And there is something I’m remembering now in that we did something for bio-hazard procedures. We’re going to say that’s for staff training and fit it in that way. Ok, closed some extra windows that were open and not very useful. I think a good part of the morning yesterday went in to taking care of the pictures from Spring Fling. I think I’m totally done with my part of that now. I passed on the extra pictures Sr. wanted to the secretary, so if she needs prints, Sister can go through her. I did save the entire set to Sr.s computer too so they are accessible. Ok, lets not think of that picture project now.

Usually on Thursday mornings we do the goals for the first group, but there is a rush job where the clients are putting police batons in a bag, labeling it, and then heat sealing it. So, they are too busy. Meetings for today and tomorrow are also canceled because the job has to be complete by tomorrow … I think there are about 500 of them. WooHOO! They get paid this week!

That should free up these two days to getting something done. Ok, what seems to be next? Let’s read over that analysis report to see where we are at.

Woo Hoo … It’s the end of the day and we’re heading out the door. Need to just get this switched over. We seemed to stay focused on CARF with the exception of time taken out to talk to a woman who volunteers at the center once a month. We talked about the program her daughter is now in. After that we went straight into a meeting with the staff on Basic Investigative skills. And, we had a meeting with a DSP, but otherwise we were working on CARF. We’re enjoying for the time being two computers over on this desk. It’s kinda fun and clears up working space over on my regular desk. SOOO … going to post AND THEN!!! Dr. MARVIN!!!

Just a few notes from work trying to get the day started

Good morning. This is me, but we’re at work and its already 9:15 on Wednesday. We are at a point … where almost everything is set up to be working. Except, hold on … washroom and water. Ok, that’s done … now where are we.

I do want to say something about the problem with weight. We seem to be having continuing problems … I am heavy and most often hungry. That’s all just a note. I ran into the sisters in the hall. We passed on a few notes. I had left a message with a case worker and she passed me new information about that client. I also told her that I would just need to take the memory card into Walgreen’s to get my pictures developed. I’m worrying about being able to stand throughout that length of time. Usually, I have to be moving pretty quick. I don’t want to trust my co-worker with the memory card, but I may have to ask sister if she can run it to the pharmacy. I think that is the best way to go. I don’t have my batteries for the camera though and I’m not sure if they are necessary. I don’t think so, but I don’t want to take a chance. Sister needs time to look through the pictures too. I’m worried though of the pictures on the camera that I don’t want the peer to be looking at. She’s snoopy. Damn didn’t think of that. I don’t think there is anything revealing, just don’t think some of that stuff is her business. There is about 6-700 pictures on the camera. I have never cleared it .. I think it is an all or none deal … I wouldn’t want to take a risk. Maybe we could go together and I could get the pictures found and then leave out for the car. There doesn’t seem to be much more option other than sending through the computer. That might be something to consider. I think Sr. trusts Walgreens though.

Ok, we’re back to trying the computer. We can order Walgreens on-line that might be the compromise. They say we have to upload to Snapfish so we’re doing that now. I’ve heard that’s pretty big. It’s taking 10-15 more minutes and I have to know that I can order only some of them after uploaded, because sister won’t want to pay for all of these. I think they’re service includes them sending the printwork to the local Walgreens and supposedly they can be ready within an hour. Close enough … I don’t think then Sister will complain about the cost too much …. There are limitations to my moving. Ok, good that’s progressing.

Next … what are we to do with CARF now. You might not know yet, BUT yesterday we went through our state inspection. It went very well … The center got 100% rating. They said …

“This is a small program that provides services to about 47 individuals on the Southside of Chicago. The program provides quality services to the individuals they serve such as workshop, life skills, physical fitness. The individuals take pride in their work and especially earning a paycheck. The strength of the program is the direct care staff that treats the individuals with dignity and respect. The guardians we spoke with were very satisfied with the program and had high praise for staff.”

Woo HOO. Pretty good, pretty good. Sister was told though that the first thing they’d seen was that one of the bathrooms was missing toilet paper … someone’s going to hear about that for a year, but otherwise we didn’t hear any negative. We had been given two surveyors, one of which has been familiar with our center. They still checked everything out pretty carefully. They were here for 4-5 hours. It’s going to be harder with CARF … they are here for 3 days. But, now that it is finally over – State inspection. Sister can be proud of being at 100% - tell the other sisters and we can all breath a little bit. Not too much though. Here’s where we come in with CARF we got to do something with her today and on til she’s finished. It’s already 10 am.

Shoot … how do we do CARF. I gotta figure it out again. I know we have to take something out. Where would that be? What would it be? Something about that 9 page sheet with the green highlighter on it … Maybe in the CARF shelve? Let me look.

Pshwoo went through a lot of stuff, but I found it … it was in one of the thin folders. There’s some reports and policies and procedures someone had worked on.

Ok, ok … been figuring stuff.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Turn here to a Neurotic Person

Good morning … this is me taking some serious whacking first thing of the day …

Well, to be honest we’ve been up for a while. We were just doing some on line reading. We read through yesterday’s long entry, and then went through another long entry from last year. Funny thing … we were doing a paper then too. How strange. Did I learn anything about myself? I did learn something peculiar … I recognize the space from a year ago as if I were living it all over again. We had just finished up the last Spring Fling, and we had the double screen and axim pdr and we’d just gotten the web camera I think, or at least we were taking the maiden voyage of filming our living room. Must have had some time to be figuring it out and getting it on line.

It’s been a good year with the camera I think. I still would like to do more movies and I think we should do some since we are paying for the video … hmm, today? Right now?

Hmm, I am going back to the keyboard now … we’ve turned on the video and just went through a session of pet the kitty. Now he is frustrated with me and has turned his back, as if he’s going to hurt my feelings. Well, either that or he’s thinking about his bedroom in the back and how comfortable it would be to lay out and stretch. AHH that be the life. Ok … now we have to be getting serious sometime.

Is there anything else we can write about or do besides working on our paper? There is a little curiosity; because we like to read over our work, and when we were cleaning yesterday, we found that we’d saved the paper last we worked on it to a hard copy … Kinda itchy to be opening that. Ok, go ahead just peek!

Hmm, we’ve read now our paper into the video and we’ve been over at school … that wasn’t an entirely positive thing. We hadn’t realized the teacher had left a note to resubmit what we’d done so far. We sent it this time through an email rather than the traditional method of going into the room’s assignment section .. If I’ve sent two other copies that didn’t get through, I didn’t want to chance it on a third. Makes sense so far. Because it is a Monday morning and I’m sure she’ll be rebooting up from the week previous, there is a better chance she will see my new email. I don’t like the part where I feel too much that I’m asking her to accommodate me. Her note to me was very short … no chit-chat. Nothing real positive. But, looking to the positive side, then maybe she didn’t get the first really bad copy. Yes, let’s try to keep it positive.

Hehehe fell into talking naturally to ourselves on the video … just fell to thinking that if we saw our friend that we were going to remind him to keep things positive.

And then, we’ll have to do our part too. We can’t afford to get down on ourselves for things we’ve not hit on target. Just need to keep moving on like the Tau down-stream. Things just flow whether or not you are trying to affect it. When you stop then the pressure builds behind you so that you flood over. Yes, ok zen mama.

Hehehe

Hmm, back again. Missy too. We are taking a mini-break, cuz we’re doing some pretty hard thinking. We just finished up some editing work for the time being on the material that we’d already worked on … I know no advancement, but there is something to be learned in bi-lateral movement. I hope to develop internal strength and direction as we go on. Most of the work was done in the area of upward or downward social comparisons. It seemed that we were leading to a point where most downward comparisons were helpful toward self-enhancement where upward comparisons were more necessary for self-improvement. Bi-lateral social comparison assisted us in building self-confidence. I think this has been a very interesting although intense period of redevelopment. I know things made sense as we were collecting, but now we are turning the information into something that is new to previous research. That is because it incorporates work that has been completed plus evaluated from about 20 research articles. I like this sense of newness of thought … hopefully I will come to the conclusion that all is well and why is it that we need to think of these matters.

Over the last parts I found myself wondering how I could incorporate this information toward building a more significant relationship with my lover and internal selves. Often it is the case that he steps into a role of coach.

Although, we haven’t come up with a strict policy against this theory, in practicality it is definitely not always appreciated. I think now looking over my writing this morning it seems as if he often uses downward comparison, not socially, but as negative summations of where we are and from that point an insistence that we progress. Unfortunately, being in that negative state doesn’t motivate us unless we are in a crisis mode. And, even there, I am thinking that it is the looking forward to positive change that encourages us to go forward. Somewhere in here we know we asked last that he encourage as a role model rather than a negative cheerleader. If I want to live in the negative, than I don’t need to go further than our own dark spaces. I think this has been really prevalent with his past session of being sick. It seems that the complaints are getting worse and worse, and that to advance ourselves, we need to look at that total affect, because it is hurting us for him to spend so much of his and our time and energy motivating. I’m not talking about giving up the back massages and babying, but just that for the next time being, I want to stay very focused on what he says that is negative and hurtful, or positive and helpful.

He made a comment this last period of time that scared us, but then prepared us too for some inevitability. Basically, he was telling us that he didn’t want us to rely on him, at the same time he was talking positively about being a family with those he is related to. The first reaction is defensive. We want to think … if that is the way it is going to be … so be it. Then just disregard the work involved in being in a relationship to us and find your support elsewhere. This seems like a terrible idea. He seems to be missing pivotal points in that he is saying he will float toward whichever causes him the least grief. This included melting toward family hood, which of course related to having a wife and mother of children. I’m not sure exactly what to do here, because I can easily see our defensiveness.

Basically, if you don’t need us, then we aren’t going to need you either. Leave me alone. I don’t want to get in a relationship where I am taking care of him if he is not going to help me with my needs in exchange. It scares me though that I want anything to do with a relationship where it is just a matter of getting needs met.

That would seem negative to me. This could be a bi-product, but not the purpose of relating. But, even if I could withdraw my needs for him, it doesn’t mean that he would be able to withdraw his needs from my care. And, that would leave us feeling bitter because he would be taking the time I would need to be healing myself and my conditions. I don’t want to maintain a relationship that is one-sided. Either him to me, or me to him. I may struggle, but I’m not going to be related to out of pity.

Hmm, better step back and reevaluate here. I knew that I was feeling defensive … have I progressed now or regressed … am I making sense even to myself, or am I just being angry and reactive? Perhaps we are now being reminded with purpose of what it must have felt like for the evil witch to be pushed by Gretel into the wood stove.

Ouch!

I’m not sure if we were just thrown over. I have the sense of him needing what it was he found in being a family, more than him needing a relationship to us, because we are being high-maintenance. Why is it that I feel so angry that he might not want to be available to help, where in my anger, I am willing to step into that realm like fine – I don’t need your help at all. I’m thinking that these stark either-ends is probably going to come back and bite me, but still I admit even to ourselves playing the devil’s advocate. I want to know my options. because when push comes to shove, he is optional, I am not.

It’s more than being self-protective in case he decides to jump or sabotage me either because this is what I deserve or because he’s acting out his spousal projections. Maybe it’s like Sr. where he can only afford one good friend at a time. I still with or without him have to face what to do with six loads of laundry. I can take the day or two to get through taking care of the floors, but I still do not have the ability to do the clothes. There is however, one option.

Perhaps, the idea of the chair going to the laundry mat could serve the same downstairs. It would be time away from the computer and the paper writing, but what would happen if I just brought down a folding chair and camped down there from start to finish. It would be efficient and there would be time to rest … and I would just have to then get up the stairs once … I could leave the chair down in my closet, so that wouldn’t be a problem. The biggest problem would be what to do that long away from our computer. And, what time would I go down there on a regular basis that wouldn’t be bothered by someone else. And, if I were going to be using the laundry … should I then call and expect the building to fix the dryer so it could be dried in one load. The problem of the quarters would be a matter of stopping by the bank, so that is a non-issue unless we were talking about doing it immediately today.

Maybe the next step isn’t if, but when … I know that my grandmother had done similar to avoid steps … she would camp out at the laundry and do cross-word puzzles. That would drive me bonkers. My text this semester is going to be on-line provided I go that route, which is most reasonable. So, I have to figure out two things there.

The first is when can I afford to give up computer/school time, and what is it that I’m going to take up during that time. Reading seems to make the most sense. What to read? Seems that it would make most sense that it is something that would be of interest to me for periods of 2-3 hours. The area that interests me most is still self-regulation … hehehe that seems to go hand in hand here. And, this is supported by what I’m reading with social comparison. It seems though that he then becomes a parallel world and we become more independent. We need to look toward ourselves, or perhaps Dr. M. as a model. He would help us set-up anything that we would be doing constructive.

In order of being more independent, we would need to stop asking for help. We can get our own groceries, pay the bills, do laundry and floors. It’s just going to take more/hurt more, but we can adjust. We are going to be unhappy if we go through that kind of effort and he wants us to take care of him too. By this I mean primarily his needs for positivity. I think he can be very goal orientated, but he often complains when things aren’t going his way … I do the same, but am acknowledging that I’m going to need getting a handle on that. I also need to look at the money situation. I need to figure out again how to pay-up my own bills and to get him paid off, so I am again not depended on him. The first reality will be in the cost of food. The second will be the tightness of things all around. Let me look for a second.

This is me again … it’s been a while. Its now about 2:45 pm. I’m feeling kind of down. I called our friend a minute ago. He seems like nothing is the matter and I don’t even know if something is the matter, but he is going to pick us up and go to a forest preserve in a couple of hours. That means I have to be dressed to go outside. While we’re out, I have to mail an envelope and make a stop at the drug store. I have a prescription waiting, I hope and I am going to need effervescent tablets for cleaning the denture. I know more good stuff … it hardly ever ends. I think though that we are supposed to be more independent now so I am going to try pulling up our mood.

We’ve done a lot of work since we were last here. Most of it was financial. We went through about 3 inches of mail, we paid the bills, and did our school loan application.

Ok, not much productive there. It’s now about 4:30 pm and we’re dressed to go out.

Not much improvement on the mood. We’ve got about 10 more minutes to turn it around. Why am I feeling so cranky? Why does it feel a let down to have taken care of ourselves as to home and finances. Are we this petty … why can’t we just behave nice. We told him and had felt scared of him. This last few moments sulking over him making choices of where to go and what to do with our time. We think pessimistically that if we don’t go out, it won’t be until fall until asked again.

I can already hear a whiny voice that I don’t want to be hearing. It’s very tiring always feeling “put-out.” I think this goes back to the other stuff about feeling inferior as a mistress to the wife. Again … we hear, “fine, we’ll be independent.”

While then turning to say … “Yes dear, I will meet you by the car. I will be waiting, waiting, always waiting.” Shit shit shit. Terrible mood has to stop right now. If we are going to be independent … we have to handle our moods too. That means being nice to people, no matter what.

If we’re in a receptive mood he will complain about stuff. I think that’s important I don’t want to hear complaining anymore. If we can write off everything else to being jealous than we can bring it back to this point. How is it we can be together and not be putting each other out. AND, I don’t mean just jumping in the sack.

Hmm, he should be here any moment now … at least some of the frustration has been spent. I feel though that it is a different relationship, or at least maybe I want it to be. I don’t want to take care of his moods, I don’t want to be a depository his crabbing. If we are going to the park, let’s make it a talk about the park or the lightness to the day … If I’m not going to complain … he can’t either … fresh conversation or nothing. Maybe we can make a game of it and it will be fun. I’ve talked about wanting to go out and now here it is. If its just down the block … we’ll have to try harder to be happier. Were is that happy person who woke us up this morning?

Hmm, that was him … we have to meet him downstairs in 5 minutes. This can be ok, please let it be ok. Don’t make me into that soap bar on a leash. Please don’t make me that. Let’s try to hold some of our thoughts from blurting out. Especially the negative ones. Start at an even keel girl … you can do it. If there is a problem … let’s try to do it without whining. No, I don’t want to wait downstairs for 5 minutes. Don’t say because I cannot stand. If he does not know this by now … hmm … really … it just doesn’t need to be said. Be good now. Please don’t let him honk his horn.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

A Very Long Day

This is us ….

This is us after working with pictures

Hmm, ok this is us getting a handle on it. We can if we try … we also put something to eat in the microwave and took our morning medicine. It’s almost 8:30 am so we’re late, but I think I would have been frustrated anyway. I had a good night with creativity last night, but I can’t yet manage the pictures from the Spring Fling.

Without a credit card I can’t order on-line and I’m having problems keeping the pictures edited for color, because I can’t find a place to save. There are too many pictures to send through email and I’m having trouble with my developing software.

It says it’s having trouble with Jpeg conversion. I’m not sure why … I didn’t realize I had to do that. I tried looking for options having it published on-line and mailed to sister, but that cost abou $5-6 per 20 … that sounds expensive. There are about 110 pictures. About 2 dozen we had to redo the light, and then because I didn’t have my credit card available all the changes I made were erased. It was very frustrating … so I thought I better talk to Sr. before I put a lot more into it. I will get a copy, but if she doesn’t need them, I will try just printing 4 per sheet on regular typing paper and not be concerned with glossies.

That was one of the things yesterday … some of the clients had asked me to bring the camera because they were making scrap books. Because I can’t stand … I don’t make a very good photographer. I tried asking one of my peers who was taking some pictures with a Polaroid, but I insulted her accidently on Friday, so could have figured that was a no-go. More of that later. Then an older lady who does volunteer work had been wondering around looking for something to do … and she said she couldn’t take pictures, but in the process … our friend who was sitting next to us said he could.

Was like WOW … I had no guess that he might. I thought the project was going to need being scrapped and as is his heroism of us … shoot … he’s just my Knight in Shining Armor . We watched people in the room – umm we’re talking Spring Fling now … your keeping up? Anyway it was a large place and set up for about 300 people.

Our friend then walked around looking for pictures … I can see him silhouetted amongst the crowd of people casually in that playful playboy manner of his … He was just so calm and collected. This was much more amazing because he had been feeling sick. I had in favor that he really doesn’t like just sitting. He’s an active person and is always on the move. So, this was a good way for him to interact … and I liked it that Sister would have another reason to appreciate him.

We did fine at the table by ourselves because in and out one of the families we serve was seated next to us. I really like this parent … hehehe her son is one of my troublemakers! But, he’s a good guy. He’s non-verbal, but had a lot of excitement in relating to us that he was seeing a bunch of things that were exciting him. One of the attractions was that there were clowns from the Shriners’ … I guess she’d contracted for 2, but 7 showed up. They were doing things like tricks and balloons and such. I don’t think the clients were particularly drawn to them as much as they provided something to be watching while things were getting settled and people were coming in. I don’t think they were great clowns, but I like the diversity they represented.

There was one very certain problem. On the other side of our table for 10, there were two older priests – one that was particularly old, and then there were two women – one old and one middle-aged. The middle-aged woman had control over that situation, and even though we knew she talked English – she said something to the younger priest – she refused to talk English … It was fine for the parent, because she could speak Spanish and in fact was the moderator for English/Spanish translations. The rude woman though was very condescending. Her looks at us we’re very negative. I don’t know who the hell she was or thought she was, but it was a very disappointing contact. She acted as if she was a princess as she was spoon feeding the older priest. And then the younger priest sitting next to our friend was like absolutely zero in the conversational mode. Our friend offered good information on the center and it was well-paced, but the priest would only nod and say 3-4 word responses, and left it up to our friend to continue the conversation.

I tried a few times as well and was also dead-ended. So, it didn’t take too long and we just disregarded people … fortunately the free dancing started soon after dinner so we had plenty to be watching. I always get the most pleasure from being a part of the clients’ lives. That’s the whole thing of being in this field … they are not as opinionated as “regular people.” They love unconditionally.

One of the inspirational things that had happened was … after the free-dancing started, our friend had left to do whatever and one of the parent’s had stopped to say hi and then soon after her son followed and he’s one of my favorite clients and toward the upper end. I got this smile on my face and asked if they were going to be around for a while, could or would the client like to take some pictures of the dancers. He got this big beaming smile on his face and nodded his head quickly. I don’t know if he’d watched our friend moving through the crowd, but he duplicated it and was sooooo excellent to watch. It seemed that almost every time he stopped to focus on someone … people would put arms around each other and smile toward him. He seemed to be having a very good time … and I think it really gave him an admirable position to be the photographer. I would like to make sure that he gets a copy of the pictures he took. He only had a few feet shots, the vast majority we’re wonderful. The people dancing responded differently to him, then if it had been something else. He is well liked amongst the group. Just so proud of him and his work. He seemed to handle the camera with no problems. Such a cool thing!

As far as the actual performance of the group, that seemed to go very well too. The theme of the event was Mardi gras. So the individuals had made bright colorful masks with feathers and jewels and such. It was very colorful and spectacular.

There were three performances. The first was a presentation of “clackers,” the second was a trio with the rest of the group supporting them in the background, and then there was another performance where the top quarter of the group did a choreographed number. I was very pleased with their performance. They showed confidence and pride. I think the only disappointing part to the general activities, was that I rarely saw Sr. smiling. She looked cranky throughout most of the event, as if she couldn’t be satisfied. She did a little presentation toward the beginning introduction and she is always citing one person, who’s done a lot for the center, but she isn’t the only one and like the volunteers that come in that she holds so highly, neither of these people have participants in the program anymore.

I think this is a put-down to the general parents and siblings who put themselves into the event. She did not mention the people who had gone out of their way to make a difference.

There was one poorer situation as we were leaving. We as true to form left early before all the raffling started. The most pronounced of the parents intelligently had decided to “surprise” sister with an auction for a private sail boat trip. It was for 5 hours and was reportedly to be within a $400 expense. They started the raffling at $100. Last I hear on the way out the door it had gone up to $240, but they were really pushing … and most of the people at the center are not like them.

They are very poor. So, I considered it in poor taste that they were doing this auction without sister’s input and to be asking a public pressuring situation for people to be spending more than their means. I’ll probably here about that when I get back to the center. Sister usually talks about her thoughts of the gathering … and most likely there will be a lot she wasn’t pleased with. BUT, it WAS a successful gathering. Most people seemed to be having a good time, the clients got a chance to sparkle, and money was being raised. It was a big crowd.

I am glad that it is behind us for another year … it makes Sister a little edgy. I do have to worry about that she is going to be now unmerciful as to getting CARF done … it is the next thing on her TO-DO list. But, that is all I want to say about that right now. We are going to be as far as we are and that’ll be about it. I will do the best I can … Try to focus. But, I feel more and more behind each day.

Along with that is going to be acknowledgment that I have to be spending time today on completing the Final paper for Social Psych. Need to be doing more.

BUT, without this blog and what I do here, like at this very moment, seems to be my life thread and I can’t progress until I feel well covered in this area. It is me being me the most. There was some progress on the financial end of things. As sometimes happens it is upon the gentle sledge-hammer nudge of our cable provider.

Simply? They turn off my service. Sheeesh … hate when that happens, but had been expecting it.

Whoops! Side note here … Sister wrote back saying GREAT! Glad that we took pictures. It turns out that her camera had acted up so hadn’t gotten any. She says she hopes it works out. She did give one slight critism. She said sorry that we had to leave early. This is something that is also to be expected, but our friend had been out on his bad cold and he was planning on going out with the family to watch a movie … so he needed to get home and catch a nap. Sister also said she’ll know by the end of the week the results of the fundraising. She said there were tables for 300 – 30 tables and only 2 or 3 vacant seats. I know she was worried when all those clowns showed up … Where was she going to put them?! She also sort of asked would I be in Monday or Tuesday. I don’t really have an answer for that yet. If there were a chance I could finish my Final paper … I might stay home, but otherwise could go back, but then she’d think I would be giving up my Mondays working at home. I’ve got a lot to do with both school and work and have to make the best out of it. I will respond to her email later when I get more of a feel for it. If I can concentrate, I might stay home, but if I’m not getting anywhere, I might just as well go to work. I am worried about my dentures hurting to take out …

I might want that checked out possibly on Monday, which would affect the decision.

Ok, back to the other … this is the side note we wrote our friend last night it about covers everything ;)

We solved one crisis by going to the old bank at Jewel, which wasn't closing so soon. We started the account, and took out $200. We paid $120 for medicine (8 bottles). I'd like to keep $30 and give you the other $50 for now if that's ok. On the way to the bank we also stopped by the mail downstairs. I opened it ... while in the drive and threw out the majority when we got back from the pharmacy right to the dumpster. There was no credit card or money from school. We ordered another card from the bank, but it will be another 7-10 days. They had record of the last one going out, but not being authorized. Maybe it was thrown out with a magazine.

Not sure. Oh ... yes ... you probably guessed it we went immediately to Comcast.

We'd actually called them and found out our late payment was the reason we did not have our Internet. I had to pay $98 to get it turned on, and then I asked when the next amount was due and they said the 25th of March. I let him remind me of the current date being the 24th ... which seems to be tomorrow so I bit the bullet and paid out $220 ... Of most of my bills ... cable is the most important ... ok, meds too. But it’s WAY up there. I'll take as much help as you’re willing to give me with bills. All and all, I think it’s been a great day! You made me feel like a princess!
Ok, back to the post now … I need to think with it being 10 minutes to 10 what else might be necessary to express before making a major change over to the writing (paper).
Hmm, no sweetie pie … AGAIN! I’m guessing he’s sleeping in this morning. I don’t think he has any games this weekend. So, that is a good thing. His son is home so he’ll be staying close to all that. With extra people in and around AND one who also tends to use the computer … I’m not going to think I have to see him today. I did leave an open card invitation to Deb, to stop by and give me a break when she feels bent toward talking.

A word of that and yesterday’s pictures of Deb’s animals - hehehe and some family – if those two things could be distinguished! What had happened is that we’d been talking after the dance when we’d gotten home and somehow the subject came up that I was still having trouble distinguishing her pets … one from another? So, through the IM she was walking me through it and this conversation is what became the dialogue in between the pictures you had seen – the 8 frames. I had told her we were going to diagram it out so that we could comprehend. Sometimes stuff goes over our head and giving it our best try still can’t comprehend things. I think it’s mostly one part, but as long as this one part is out and available, we’ll walk through things with her. So, we put on our OneNote program all the dozen or so pictures she’d sent us according to composition, then started taking out all the He said she said things from the IM … and then we found ourselves placing them in-between pictures, and wallah … that is what happened. I very very much love when this sort of thing happens. I give credit to God … I think he puts us in the right place at the right time … I couldn’t have pre-thought the final affect, but we had a direction and followed our heart. We were very concerned of pleasing Deb. Hehehe I think we did it!!! And, in the meantime … we were pretty chilled out!

Ok ok … anything else? Hmm, remember we want to talk to our son today if he has some minutes … and it might be nice to call our youngest son too? We put out a hello message by IM because we noticed that his account was signed on … but he might have just left the computer going. I think it’s still early for him.
Sr.

We are getting these through to you now … there should be approximately 20 in each file … AOL won’t allow bigger files – I tried. Each should open as you might expect. When You get the blue Picture task screen with the bigger picture above four or five little pictures – At this point … look to the sidebar on the left. Two items down it says “View as a slide show.” Click that … to control screen – look for the standard options (small) at the top right corner.

Also, save (or at least don’t delete the 6 emails that contain the pictures. You can forward them through the email to Nancy, Mrs. Cichon, Sr.s, or anyone else in receiving copies.

I hope you find things in here that you like!

Woohoo! We’re doing it … it’s late 11:30, but we are getting the pictures in the emails!! We figured out how to back them up in a special file … and it kept the changes (quick fixes) for the dark dancing pictures. It’s going to take 6 uploads of about 20 pictures each, but they are going to get through. I’m sending a copy to my place to check them out, but I think they will work for sister. The copies after the first are always the easiest because they don’t need uploading. Cool, cool … we’re now on the third set … things are going smoothly … I don’t expect problems … it will just take some time.

Wow, that was difficult. I’m always happy when we figure something out. Life is much simpler that way. I think Sister is going to be happy with these, though I think she should get the dancing ones from someone else. Ours are lightened now, but look muted. I’m thinking of a few people who might appreciate them. Our friend gets a copy, Deb gets a copy … maybe one more friend, and maybe our mother … that will make her happy. I know Sister is going to be glad to get them right away … we’re still within 24 hours. She’s not one to sit around. Hmm, had to do some adjusting. I was sending through the pictures that had been altered. I think they took more file space, because instead of sending through 20 … I only got 12 in that last batch. I will hold back until I get through that set, though there might be more adjustments. I hope Sr. doesn’t get too discouraged in getting the fewer numbers of pictures of lower class. *Sigh* you can only do what you have to do. Our friend had stood way back to get the pictures and the flash light then was too quick – it got to its effective state, but had not gotten to the attraction at the end of its lens. I think … don’t really understand cameras.

I hope I’m not going to repeat them … It says its uploading 67 and I think 12 is at 77. It should have been, I would think 65 title … *sigh* again we try our best.

This is worthy of a fair contribution though. Oh oh … the last one should have finished, but it aborted the last moment. We’re going to try taking her down to 10. She seems to be uploading fast enough. Might want to look at that set of pictures more carefully … it’s got a strange number now 00. Eh … we’ll see.

Bogging down about 50%. That might be the point it gets to the dark pictures. Eh … what would a contribution be without a few grey hairs. I was sad because I didn’t have anything to do with the fling and I felt helpless. I was glad our friend had a means through taking the pictures to be helpful, but I felt very bad not being able to walk around and help and such. We used to be a very good helper. Ok, almost through … will she take? WooHOOO!! 10 the lucky number!

Well not so lucky … the last set we only got out 7 pictures. Keep trying … we’ve got about 70 pictures through with 40 more to go. Maybe one more short set and then 1 or 2 long sets. This is going to drive sister buggy.

WoooHOOO!!! Done! We completed the project … there were 8 emails total. And, then we sent out a few copies … I don’t know anyone else who might be interested. Let me think … need to finalize here. Nope that’s about it … would like to fix up that file though there are copies in it that don’t belong hold on.

Ok, ok … something is happening over there. Trying to back up the files and clean of the general area some … it’s taking too long to find stuff . Its better if things are in folders. It’s driving me buggy. Sometimes the computer can be soooo slow … AHA reminds me I might want to recharge some batteries hold on. Ok, that was a good idea. Hmm there’s progress on the Spring Fling Picture Album. I wonder if the file deleted the pictures I didn’t want. Maybe not … it says there are 110.

It’s about half way through now … I think the file is going to AOL You’ve Got Pictures. I just wanted to see one last slide show before I put it away.

Wow! That’s great.

Yeeks! That was terrible!

Hehehe ok, so we continue to confuse. After we’d written the first phrase, we were excited from just having watched a clean slide show. BUT, then the program was very sluggish – Word, so was started the long, long process of closing down the computer and getting it up again. We had to force a close, which sorta crashed us … at least that’s what Norton protection told us as it made us wait and wait. I just have faith that my computer is going to keep working if I am just patient enough. So we tried real hard. We caught a few news clips on the way back over. Something very jarring about dismemberment case. I just can’t imagine cutting into human tissue.

Couldn’t be a surgeon either.

Hmm, so where are we at. It’s about 2:30 pm and we haven’t even looked at our Final paper. I think today was the day we had a meltdown. It happens after being out for big events like yesterday. The damage control part is that we aren’t as destructive as we once were. We are not progressing with our time, but … I don’t know … are we self-abusing. We sure aren’t doing what we’re supposed to be doing. Well, with the exception of last night and we really had to do Spring Fling stuff. So, I guess … it’s just that we can’t cut-off from one project to another very easily. Somehow I have to get back to the paper … but, I just can’t make myself do it. I’m the one that will have to be held accountable.

There we I am the one who didn’t get school done, but cleaned out the picture file. There’s something, right? Who knows … maybe I could even unload the dishwasher? Hmm, think that might be a good idea … maybe start up a load too? I started to clean up in here at least my desk … and got some place, but not all the way through. Ok, dishes next!

Well, mostly dishes. The clean ones got out and the dirty in. Still have to wash out water bottles, finish clearing the counter and wiping things down. I think we’ll finish or at least progress house cleaning nothing to do with that bedroom though … too many dirty towels and such. I don’t know how those are going to get done without the help of sweetie pie. I would like to surprise him with a cleaned up living room, kitchen and bath … and maybe the bedroom at least tidier. We set the timer, but for the record it is 4 pm. It’s kinda muggy in here, you know?

How’d that happen. I know we’ve had the door open all day with a warm breeze against our legs, just the whole of it doesn’t seem possible. We are really, really into spring!

Hmm, cleaned some more in the living room. Mostly, stuff off the coffee table.

It’s now 3 months past Christmas and I still don’t have my chair put together. Some of the loose screws were amongst other things on the table. I don’t like that there are cords running across the floor for the Cpap either … that might have to be looked at … I also have a huge stack of books on a chair that isn’t doing anyone any good. Even the course book is not being used anymore. Plus a few stray clothes.

I’m thinking that it’s almost weather to be turning on the air conditioner. Not sure if that is ready to go though. And, certainly, we need another vacuuming. It wasn’t done the last time when that woman came over at the beginning of the month.

Ok. Did some more … too hot and hurtin. I moved a blanket did the couches and took the clothes to the other room. Must have been something else, cuz I sure am hurting. We went though before the timer went off … need more air. Pswhoo. I took out the extra cord too. No sense having two when one would do. I think next time up … we’d like to tackle that pile of books. See if we can’t find a space for them on the bookshelves. There’s a few more things to be put away too on the file unit.

I sure do with we could vacuum. The place is disgusting. I’m pretty sure this is why people do spring cleaning. Soon time for litter box too … maybe save that though until just before friend gets here so he can help me with it down the stairs. Hmm, Febreezed it … that ought to help for at least 10 minutes. Need to start on another ice regimen soon … and make sure the flies don’t start up with us.

Be nice to take an evening shower today … Maybe I really need to get those dishes started soon so the water won’t have to run for both. Ok, that’s an idea. Now … can I fill water bottles clean counter and plug in the machine at same time. I don’t know … there’s about 10 bottles. Let’s see how we do at the other two first.

We can save them for later. Might want to instead fill the water cooler. That won’t be so labor intensive. Maybe then do a little with the kitchen table before working ourselves back to the living room.

Good, good … got 5 minutes left. Water cooler, dish soap in while we can still bend, AND counter cleaned off … just needs 2 minutes … gotta be able to do minimum work. Not so happy with the dust either! Rest, rest, rest … relax. Your ahead of the game … it’s still light out, you know? Anything else? Well, maybe we can sit too at the dining room table and sort some stuff out from there … like I know we have empty medicine bottles from refilling yesterday … Just slow at getting them to the garbage. Sweetie might appreciate the place picked up enough to help with vacuuming. Sometimes he likes sitting on the floor against the couch. Umm enough said. Ok, you … it’s time … go do some good stuff!

Ok, that was a good run. Counter is clean, dishes started, and kitchen table cleaned off … AND, we got the ice water! Brrr… Water that trickles down one’s chest hehehe. Kitchen floor needs sweeping and moping like this part out here needs vacuuming. I have to do the books next though … and hopefully take out those few things on the floor in the washroom. Counters are pretty cleaned off. After that it would be back bedroom – few clothes that should be hung, and then if we were major good … we’d sort out things into bags from our bedroom. Those towels are going to need being washed. I’d bought the extra dozen, but the dirty ones are piled sky high. Our friend helped us with a load of regular work clothes and that about covers my wardrobe there. There will be probably about a load to a load and a half of regular dirty clothes amongst the towels. Sheets can go in with the towels. Ok, we are starting to work out a plan. We are thinking if we can do as much forward as possible, we have better chance of capturing our friend for smaller bits of tasks. I’m thinking too … one of the things my father used to use when cleaning was a wire whisk broom … he would use that to pull out the stuff that was by furniture legs and down the stairs where the vacuum can’t reach. I don’t want to wreck the carpet, but the area by the computer cords is in the terrible zone. Stuff that has fallen from the table etc. Everybody has these problems? Seems almost wasteful to think of vacuuming when there is so much that can’t be reached. Not for the hour it would take me to do 5 minutes work. To take out an entire back doing one chore … is just impossible, because it lays you up for the others. Keep thinking it is better to do the small picking up tasks that our friend wouldn’t know how to do. Speaking of … what’s happened under the monitors? Hmm?

Hmm … how about we have a quiet 3 minutes? Please?

Pshwoo Good good … got the chair, the bathroom, and stuff under the monitor. Got the file too. I’m feeling pretty accomplished. Next would need to be the clean clothes that can be hung. There might be about 7 things and a few to put away in drawers. I decided not to do the main bedroom, until the dishwasher is done and I can get to the bags. Then I will sort and stuff at the same time. After I get a few more things done though … I can write my friend and surprise him. Like to do those clothes and towels going into the white kitchen bags before I take my shower.

I feel much lighter in here already by having so much picked up. Oh … as we were picking up? We found a small white folder and it had stuff for our paper … where we had last left it. I didn’t expect that … hadn’t known we’d done it. It was the only thing worth keeping out on that stack from the side chair.

I’m sure our friend would look favorably for help with laundry and floor if everything else is done and ready, right? I don’t know … I never know how much is too much to ask him. But, if I cleaned up enough in the bedroom to reach my walking machine … man … how impressive would that be! We are both reaching impasses as to our weights again. That be another whole can of worms. Would be nice to do something toward that though right?

Are you starting to get a feeling here. I’ve only got a couple more dozen pages to get done with and we can then be free for a week or so. We were doing much better with the work toward the end. I still would like to get the on-line version of our text because it’s the newer edition and you can use highlighter. I have enjoyed reading away from the computer, but its so much easier to take notes straight from it. Especially, since we’ve a nice system going. I think until we get the air going … the couch is going to be warmer too. We won’t wait long. Ok, what was it that we are already avoiding … AHHH that body stuff … You know what we’re talking about. It seems as if we’re going to need fitting some time in. We still run at an impasse where we can barely get up and down the stairs … and then to be doing stuff at the gym. I don’t think we can walk 5 minutes at this time without about doubling over. Once we lighten our load, we start cleaning, and after everything is picked up and washed, we feel more like exercising. Hold on going to do the clean clothes.

Pshwoo. Lookin good … Did the whole back part … and even got those towels to the main bedroom. We might want to bring a chair in their and just move it around, because we aren’t going to be able to stuff stuff long standing up. Hmm, washer is still going … the wash cycle I mean. Maybe we can move the machine over enough to get out the bags. I do have one positive thought here on asking for our friends help … at least he helps dirty the towels, so in this regard it’s almost a fair deal. Don’t you think? I’m trying to work it out in my mind that we could go to the laundry at a time its not being used. The next hard part is trying to figure out a way I can help him fold towels sitting down. I’m pretty sure the chairs are away from the folding area and are popularly used by the mothers’ kids … Oh lordy to I hate a laundry. It’s just there are too many towels to think he can do them while here … he’s bouncing up and down and the dryer takes two cycles. The only thing that would make sense is to go with him. I can’t ask him to do it on his own.

Maybe we can talk about it next time we’re together. A lot will depend on how many bags there are going to be. Each bag is a load. He’s familiar with laundry’s.

There just has to be some kind of system we can work out. After I lose some weight I would be more able to do 3 flights of stairs 4 times to do a load, but right now that isn’t happening … and that’s another thing. Someone should be fixing that dryer double loads is silly and slows down the whole system. Only half the need is being cared for in twice the time. It’s really noticeable in that the family across the way is four people … I think she’s typing up the laundry from 4 to 8 or 9.

Plus, she’s in there on weekends.

Hmm, it seems that the wash part is coming to a close I wonder if we have any more folding chairs I didn’t wreck … those would be nice and light.

Oh man … that was tough … 6 white bags. 2 cloths – mostly pajamas and 4 sheets and towels. Oh, and one blanket. I have a little more tidying up in there, especially the bed. I think it is going to wait a little bit though. I wonder if it would work if we found a time that wasn’t too busy where our friend could bring with a folding chair … maybe I could keep one in my car back end? I don’t know if it would fit, but most likely it would come handy in other situations too where I needed a quick place to rest. I wonder if it would fit. At least this is some kind of solution. Although I’m pretty sure that most people don’t bring chairs into the laundry … I’m not sure if there would be an ordinance … One other possibility that might seem good though, is what would happen if he brought me baskets of stuff that needed folding and I sat in the car? I don’t know … there has to be something that would work … but at least I have two new ideas. This is a good thing. I’m thinking that I might be able to better make the bed if some of the pillows weren’t put back on it maybe lay next to the wall and the exercise bike – though not on a cord. I’m not using that back closet for the time being too … so maybe up against there. I don’t even remember what’s in that closet … just that it got too complicated to get in and out with the bike there. Possible, but not convenient. Hmm, seems like a project … BUT, not for now. No more projects until past the next semester and CARF. I’m feeling a little more optimistic. At least all the dirty stuff is off the floor. It had taken over a couple of corners in the bedroom making it feel tight and cluttered. Hmm, I found two more glasses too … AHA! They thought they’d gotten away. It reminds me that we’re going to want to empty that dishwasher right away this time … at least before bed after its cooled. You just can’t get this far and not be able to store away another dirty dish.

I don’t feel like we’re done yet, although all the rooms are just about picked up and its quarter after 6 pm. I will know when we are done, because we’ll take that moment to write to our friend. I also figure that we’ll take a nice cool shower, and eat a grapefruit, uh huh, we noticed he had treated us. BUT, there is one more thing beside what we’ve mentioned. We have to get on the scale. Uh huh … you heard me. That’s the next positive step. Hmm, and remember … we’ve still got bills? Ok, ok … maybe not tonight, but if not tonight then tomorrow … you gotta choose to get some paid! If we’re going to save manual labor for our friend … I know we’re a bad friend. But, if we do … then we gotta do some more of the sitting stuff which means bills. It’s not enough that we should wait til they cut off our services. We gotta do what we gotta do. I don’t know how to get past the part though where it is going to take a credit card to get some of them started. But, its best to figure out what we can do and what the next set of problems is going to be. We should have some specifics … like which bill is a problem, can we cover it and what is their business number.

Hmm, ok … ok … take a break better clear our heads … we just did a lot of thinking … and I’m going to guess we have to go back into the bedroom. We know most likely it is going to take a couple attempts to move the pillows and be pulling on the heavy spread. Why don’t we save those few things on top of the dresser until we’ve done some of the harder moving … and we’re going to want to move a couple of those bags too. Best leave them by the door.

Oh man that was about a crippler. We stacked the extra pillows between the dressers, closed and moved the last two bags, straightened the bed, and cleaned off the tall dresser. The other one isn’t a problem. By the time we stopped by the kitchen to drop off a quarter and the extra bags, and then back to the living room with a small blanket, we were about ready to fold over in pain. Oh man … that was tough. Water BREAK!!! Pshwooo. But, we got through the whole bedroom. What a trip! I think what we had realistically left was to wait for the dishwasher to complete itself so we can empty it. And, then … we’ll have gone through everything WOOHOOO … Well yes, at least the surface. We’re not talking today about the dusting … though it make sense that was done before vacuuming. Hmm, What do you think? I know .. not today. Hmm, it might make sense to do that shower part next. Before dinner? Uh huh? But, we’ll hold off on that dishwasher until our back saves up some energy. Too tired to move now though … Have to hold up for a few moments.

Even though we can sit in the shower. It seems to have mellowed out … this evening … not so hot as before and the breeze is more pleasant. First time, I really noticed the after dinner birds. Funny. They are nice and it actually does feel like a Sunday.

Ahh … that feels good … Cool shower, dishes cooling, and dinner in the microwave … It’s almost 7 pm now and its still light outside … Nice. After a little bit we’ll shut the drapes, but for now the breeze is heavenly. Dinner, dishes, AND THEN grapefruit, ok? Oh and that scale thing … didn’t turn out to be such a good idea.

It’s heavier than I’ve ever been. I knew it was hard to maneuver… and that strained calf the other day didn’t help. We might take the rest of the night and figure out what we are going to need doing, but we’re pretty sure it means no more sweet rolls in the morning. Oh please don’t tell our friend that. He tends to grasp that kind of information and run with it. Damn … ok, enough of that for a moment … let’s take things reasonably here. We don’t want to startle and parts of ourselves. I am thinking that the loss of smoking 8 months ago didn’t help … we’ve been having trouble … just a little, but enough with it over the last few days.

We’re not going back though and that’s all I’ll say about that!

Ok, this is me again … I have had a rough hour or so. About the time I wrote the last paragraph our sweetie pie called. I think we cross communicated for a while.

He called and had had a so-so time with his family, but he had just dropped his son off and was on his way back home. I had asked the normal questions, and things seemed status quo … he had started to complain about still being sick though he thought he’d been through the worst of it. When he’s sick we try not to have negative stuff going on because we want him to be taking care of himself. He started to give orders about what he wanted us to do, but we were saying, no wait a minute listen, we did good stuff today. But, everything he said felt like an attack and that we’d have to work harder and such as he is prone to do, but it was too much on the day, especially having not talked to people for a while. We’ve been nursing ourselves along all day and had dared to feel good about our work, and then he was going to get grumbly and bury us in negativity with what hasn’t been done, rather than what has. This is the reasonable me speaking now, but at the time we were overwhelmed emotionally. We just started to cry and cry. We couldn’t think thoughts proper, felt at his mercy. Our friend isn’t a bad guy … he’s my knight, but where we had thought he’d be proud he was just scolding. I don’t know he probably hit it right in that at the time it was late, we hadn’t eaten yet, nor taken our medicine. We’re much more vulnerable under those circumstances.

Sometimes I wonder if I get hit with the brunt of where he is with the family. ‘Cept this time he said something about being in agreement versus the boys as to how good a turtle movie was. I don’t think that was handled too well by our fragile self-esteem. I know these things should go with the territory, but as human beings go … things hurt and are unfair. There’s only so long we can carry a trellis in that there family would be able to go to a theatre or movie or sports event or exhibition, but we don’t even go out to eat anymore, as if that had proven to be a good thing. We could be out yesterday, because we both work together, and although we sit together, we have to treat each other as near strangers. Who would think to put the two of us between two priests. I’m unfair … who would think I … STOP STOP … you are taking us down … and that’s not fair. We did good. We told our friend that we had looked forward to his pleasure. We didn’t say anything about his mistaken comment. I probably shouldn’t have known his wife and him had enjoyed a night out with their family. The rules are … you never get to meet each others families and for the most part … you don’t go out. Thems the rules!

SHHHHH that’s not fair. Why are you taking your anger out on me. Ok, ok … not sure how this started. Probably had something to do with feeling sorry for ourselves.

So, we’re going to make that stop. Let’s hear some positive. We took care of ourselves, we bettered our situation, and we … I see you over there impatiently thumping your toe. Let’s say good night to Deb and then turn in, K? Safe is safe?? Now, be nice!

Saturday, March 24, 2007

The Story of the Ross Animals as Told by Deb ... Part 1

Click on pictures for bigger images :)

Cinderalla's off to the Ball

Good morning. This is us … We’re um with our Chief-type kittie. I know … pretty unusual. We’re trying to be ok typing around him … we might shoo him, but we like the feeling of his tail thumping on our thigh telling us how happy he is inside. Yes, this is the stage before he falls asleep and starts doing the zzzz-thing.

We are also giving you a preview of what’s to come with the new teeth situation.

They are in and its official and this above and below is what it to be expected from the new work that’s been done. The picture above was just taken and the one below was last night’s official first picture.

I did one more … the third page is a before shot to give a comparison of the difference.

You can see in this picture the gaps to the left and right of my upper teeth. Now those gaps … just aren’t there and we’re thinking that our smile is bigger and brighter. At least we hope that is the affect. There are other benefits in that we didn’t have so many teeth to chew with and now there is a bevy of them. For the count three teeth were added to the left and three to the right.

Last night we gave our first formal try-out with eating food. Sweetie Pie hadn’t noticed the new teeth yet, because we’d settled in a fairly dark living room upon meeting. And, he had missed the phone message where we were saying if we ran late a few moments, it was because we were at the dentist getting the partials. When it came time to choose what to eat … we recommended spaghetti, which is not something we usually get. He started to fuss a bit, and then we mentioned that the dentist said to try something easy the first couple of days. Then, he was all understanding.

It was hard to get started with the first meal, because we thought for sure we would break them and we weren’t used to chewing on the left side anymore. It’s a different sensation to in that you are missing part of the gums that used to feel sensation, because there is a plastic part holding the teeth in and covering the gum. Also, when you are used to doing things with your tongue in mouth having this appliance makes everything seem big and bulky, so when you swipe past your teeth and stuff … just doesn’t seem right. But, we got through it. I think it was better after Sweetie Pie left for a few minutes, because then we weren’t so conscious of what we were doing.

It was also hard to take them out the first time … I think we did it wrong because it pinched, though it had also pinched a little at the dentist when she took them out. That’s going to take some practice. She said the best thing to do was to keep them in as much as possible and she highly recommended that we have them in at the big fundraiser dinner/dance today. I know we have taken up that challenge, but we are going to have to use the washroom afterward and make sure there is no food left where we can’t feel it. I was dismayed after they had come out and we’d rinsed them how much residue had been left. We think we should get the overnight effervecent for cleaning within that time frame, but also one for 3 minutes because I don’t want all that stuff hanging around each time I eat.

I know, I know … enough teeth stuff, right? Ehh … sorry bout that, but you kind of know we talk about EVERYthing that comes to our mind. Part of last night was not thinking about how old I must be. There was a little handout book that came with the dentures and I’m pretty sure all the pictures were of people who were over 60.

Yeeks. That’s very threatening … because I’m about 15 years away from retirement.

We’re hopefully going to keep working though because it will take some time to pay off school debt. We need to sell a popular program guide to even think of breaking even. Ok, we’re way ahead of ourselves here again. Let’s find our morning thread again.

Ok, past the point of dentures, is there other things to discuss. I don’t think our day was particularly productive yesterday, though I don’t recall why. I do know that I was working on the project from the day before where we were going over information from Qnotes on improvements to the goal Work Scores. I finished adding data from both months, then I moved around some columns and did some extra sorting, and then I went client from client and made a chart with each of their three goals on the x-axis and alonge the y-axis I put the work scores. On the chart part I had data from January and February. This gave a real simple diagram as to the changes over the few months. I figured that ideally I would do one every three months and every 6 months … that’s about as much as the charts can handle, because I don’t know how to get any more than about a half dozen variables. The charts are limited in size. There is most likely a way about that, but for now … we gotta let it be. I’d also like to the next round to a chart where it also showed the average … I think I know how to do that pretty well. That might be able to account for a whole year’s worth of data. Ahh yes, I remember how we did it before ... we presented numbers on the chart as averages, so we could do quarterly averages and then we'd only have to worry about four lines on the chart, plus maybe the one for an annual average dowwn the center. Yes, that works for me. WooHOO!

Hmm, gotta make a decision here. I might want to get in the shower pretty soon, because we’re thinking that we sorta committed to going to the bank … unfortunate part is that we thought our Sweetie was going to come with us, but now it turns out he wants us to squeeze it in before the spring fling … he’s supposed to be over at 10:15 and he wants the other taken care of already. BUT, we don’t even know if the bank opens at 9 or after 9. I rarely do more than one thing at a time going out, because it makes us dizzy. I think it has to do with adapting to multiple parts being out to take care of things like getting ready, leaving the computer, driving, waiting for bank to open and someone to talk to us, doing confusing banking stuff, we need to get money out to pay for medicine, and then drive home BEFORE 10:15 am to go up the stairs and then rushed by friend to get out the door going through all kinds of people anxieties all over again, plus doing it with a new mouth.

Well, I’ve pretty much now talked our way out of that deal. The arrangement that had been reached with our friend last was that he was going to be here to help us through it. But, since he renigged, then I think it fair that we do too. If he has to rush home after the dinner (his son is in town) then I will either do it after the event while I’m still people orientated, or I will have to let it go another day, or our friend can stick around enough and do it with us. I don’t believe we can handle money and stuff without parts switching, which makes things very confusing to the business professional across the desk, and it makes it more dangerous driving home. We’re hoping that this whole day isn’t going to consume us so much that we couldn’t try doing some work on the Final project. I’m pretty sure though that our friend is not going to be able to stick around.

Hmm, by the way … that part we’d worried about last time got worked out ;) … ok that’s enough of that.

Our friend is still sick. He was afraid he’d pass on his germs, but precautions were taken. He was a little whiney “hehehe,” but that is to be expected when you are sick. He was very patient with us through dinner in our adjustments being made and that was very sincerely appreciated.

He’s a very, very good friend.

Ok, we’re getting mushy here again … we’d better stop that. Let’s adjust the schedule then and say that we’re going to get showered at 9 am (in about 45 minutes). That gives us 75 minutes until he gets here … should be enough time for the hair to dry. I think we’re going to need handling eating something though … a little leery of that, because I know my teeth are clean now, but then they might not be so good. But, on the other hand, it would help nerves to eat and we should probably practice before the dinner/dance. I think we’ll just eat the flake cereal today. No granola.

Ok so far … so good. We ate the cereal and while we were doing it we held a hand mirror to see how our mouth was progressing with food in it. There wasn’t anything particularly gross, such as food left on the outer teeth while we were eating. Now, we’re going though an adjustment period of post food. Basically, can I be comfortable with my mouth as it is. I wonder what would happen if we got used to just gargling a little with mouth wash … how difficult that be? It might help us with strange tastes and dislodging loose particles. I know gross, gross, gross. I’d like to think one day you might not go through these hassles, but if you did … you would think all these worrisome thoughts were normal. Let’s try the mouth rinse.

Hmm that worked very nice! Took a couple and noted there were particles and they lessened from one rinse to the next. I think I actually have a small bottle at work, and there is a big bottle at home. I had thought of doing this before, but didn’t stay motivated. This might do the trick, although it won’t help much at the dance, though I could rinse with water and that will have to be the alternative.

Good enough. I only carry a small camera case size bag and it wouldn’t be able to hold mouth wash unless maybe it were a size about 2 oz. Have to look into that I suppose. Hmm for the record … we also need some Tylenol for Arthritis … ok, remember two items. Ohhh three items because we need some effervescent things. AND, something for our face being broken out all the time. That is getting to be very terrible.

Ok, we moved on with the day. It’s now about 10 am, and we’re expecting our Sweetie Pie in about 20 minutes. We’re out of the shower and completely dressed and ready with the exception of our hair drying. It shouldn’t take too long. Hmm, I should have a necklace .. I wonder if I have one … going to look hold on. Hmm. Found two necklaces one was black and I liked, but it was too heavy and short. The other is costume jewelry diamond with 10 or 12 “jewels” across the bottom. It is a little longer, lighter like the dress, and ahem diamonds go with everything ;).

I needed something … sheesh.

I never think of usually wearing jewelry because I don’t wear it … it’s like makeup … But for this once a year event … we take that out too. Umm nothing more than a little blush stuff to help with blemishes, although looking in the mirror now … it was obviously not a bit help. Oh well, we tried. We’re thinking we’re going to pull the top of our hair back too, because we remembered we could and because when we were looking at the make-up stuff we found a brand new right off the cardboard black tie-back that is very nice. Didn’t know we had one … We had been using rubber bands. I’ll give it a few more minutes … hmm, we’ll call our friend and see how much time we have left. Oh Lordy he’s a few minutes ahead of the game … he said he’d be up in 5 minutes … cuz he has to use the well, anyway.

So, the plan is that I probably will wait until he’s done and then put it up and bring with a brush to smooth it out a little by the time we get there. Good back-up to leave one in his car. Just gotta remember not leaving it in his car.

Hmm, one more thing … we’re not going to talk about our son, but we can say I think that we talked to him. We didn’t have enough time though so we may talk to him again tonight or tomorrow morning. That be a good idea cuz we like to talk to him a lot … even though we can’t talk about what we like. He does know we have to go to the dinner dance and we have new teeth. That was our part of the conversation … I think I can mention, but the rest was over at his ball park.

Oh one more thing on our lover??? He’s in a cranky mood. I suggested that we then take separate cars, but he steam-rollered over that idea. I don’t want to be entertaining cranky … It’s fine for him to be our sweetie-pie when we can rub the cranky out of him on the couch. But, I don’t want to be treated badly when we’re out in public. We’ll have to figure that out. Maybe something will smooth out on the way over. Probably overwhelmed with being sick and having kids home. CUZ, I don’t think I’ve done anything in the last week to make him cranky. I only borrowed $6 bucks. Ok, well, $26 bucks … damn … $20 of that was emergency money though and went into doctor appointments our car ok and one milk shake sheesh NO secrets here!

Oh oh Sweeties here … better get goin!

Ann Ludford Garvey

Craft yer' jolly roger

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The big sleepy kitty's name is Emelia. She's our new computer kitty to match the love of our new computer friends. Think you could get her to play? Sometimes she will whisper secrets in your ear! She's ticklish.

The two cozy black kitties live with us and run the household. They're names are Missy & Chief, or just Mischief.

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This is my Grandma and me August, 2006. She makes me so happy. She is 98!

This is my friend V. He's learning to take better care of himself, cuz he scared all of us and needs to get better ... Neither of us and T smoke any more

This is Deb. She's way up high as loved, cuz she's my forever friend! She works hard to keep us straightened out!

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: Name: Ann Marie; Location: Sandwich (Chicago), Illinois, United States

Hi, we're Ann and all (Aynetal3). We are 58-years and am a Multiple. We have three adult sons and their families and am in a 23-year relationship with our best friend Rich. We have in our home Dakota, our 5-year old collie/golden retriever service dog, and Missy our 19-year old black kitty. Oh, and we keep our psychiatrist Dr. Marvin in business ;) We had been studying at a Master's level Educational Psychology and Adult Education - e-learning, technology and design. We enjoy a strong interest in Self-Regulation and Multiplicity/Dissociation (DID, but w/o so much disorder). We do a lot of curating through reading and writing, and we utilize Word, Mindmapping, Evernote, a few favorite books, and social media (Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Speakerdeck, and Learnist). We believe in the power of the BLOG and "all of our" ability to validate People, especially through sharing conversation, video, and art/images.

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Directory Assistance 1l ed. December 20, 2005 @ 4:30 am
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Things People Think of at Three in the Morning

Friday, March 30, 2007

Late Day Posting ...

Bustling along with the morning

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Just a few notes to start Thursday ... keep going bunny!

Just a few notes from work trying to get the day started

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Turn here to a Neurotic Person

Sunday, March 25, 2007

A Very Long Day

Saturday, March 24, 2007

The Story of the Ross Animals as Told by Deb ... Part 1

Cinderalla's off to the Ball

Ayn's Multiple World

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Reasons Why We Love These Pictures

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