Progressed Post
Good morning,
It’s just us. We’ve been up a while now and it’s about 5 am. V is off to do V-stuff before he leaves. I’ve been over at T’s and it seems like she’s left too. I think everybody else is in bed. :) Darn there goes Chief … he was laying on the top of the couch, but now even HE’S gone back to bed. Hmpf!
Ok, ok … now you’re in for it … going to write a long sprawly letter between ourselves. Never know where this is going to take us, but Saturday’s are the absolute best for sprawly letters. :) Please don’t think you have to read it … we just thinking out loud. We lost our musicmatch jukebox somehow, but fortunately, we found the service over at our Window Media Player. I tried listening to the 2000’s era music, but it was too fast. We reverted back to the 60’s music. :)
We are going to surprise ourselves with writing some papers today. And, sometime during the early afternoon, I think, our friend is coming over. I am so excited to be finally showing him his birthday gift. It seems like forever. I haven’t looked at it since we brought it home. At this point, we feel like we’re saving it up to look at it with new eyes and with our friend. I think he is going to be taken back by it. I’m pretty sure he isn’t expecting something this nice. Shoot, we’re going to work ourselves up again so we HAVE to see it. We’re trying to think that we can get along without it, because we know he will take it with him. But, maybe he will have to leave it here, until he can get it framed? I don’t know … maybe :)
Hmm, a lot of “happy music!” Missy’s meowing though … I sure hope she doesn’t think we’re going to open that door again. I’m still trying to warm up my feet with soft lap blanket. Oh oh now she is up on the table crossing between me and the keyboard. She’s fixin for a good pet. Her ears are cold. Whoops now she is scolding me cuz I needed to cough while she was being petted. *Sigh*
Ok, we can settle down here … talking now more of our thoughts. We’d like to get back we’re where we are on a steady stream less consciously. We are still tuning into the changing of music. Ahh, that’s more settling, we found we could play like 329 David Lanz’ songs in a row. Sometimes words can be distracting to us. It’s harder to get our younger kids settled in. Though it’s about time they get up anyway. Ok, let’s not go here, k?
Worrying a bit about the twinging pain in side. I know these things kind of come and go on their own. Last time, we stood up, thought we were going to collapse. :) That can’t be good. The worry is that it is going to affect our love life :) :) Shoot. Maybe we just have to relax it some? Ok, girls mind over body here! Hmm, interesting another word for winking is to nictitate. When we started the subscription to the unabridged dictionary, we also started receiving a “word of the day.” Can’t say I use even the word “winking” often. Let’s see yesterday while I was feeding the kitties, Chief nictitated at Missy. Oh sure that works. Hehehe
I know, I know … somebody’s pretty silly around here! Hmm, now T &&& V have left the building. Guess we are going to need filling our own Eggnog. *Sigh* Think we’re going to take T’s laptop and sit outside … nice and warm and the sun’s bout ready to start its morning glow. J Oh good, she kept her ashtrays. :) Hmm, just trying to think there was a drink my father always used to make around Christmas time. I know, I know Tom and Jerry’s. Mmm, think it was brandy. Think it was a hot frothy drink, but very tasty! Cinnamon!! Hmm, or was that Nutmeg. We’ll have to ask V. if he mixes them when he gets back.
Ok, next?
Let’s see work? Well, we fell back to old ways this week. What happened? Well, we’re pretty sure missing Monday’s isn’t the way to go. Beside … it also made Dr. M. frustrated. We felt very bad about that. He told us he was frustrated because he arranges his time to see us, and we’ve been avoiding. We’re going to need doing something about that. It’s been a long time since we were avoiding this bad. I’m not sure yet why we’re doing it. Does anybody have an idea? Kind of living on the fringes of our thinking as to reality, I think. We are a little intimidated by getting serious again. But, we’re pretty sure we are going to do some of that today, particularly in school. We are on our last chance. It should have been our last chance last weekend. But, we’re at the point of needing to do better than we have been.
I don’t remember if we talked before of our friends two hour talk. He talked about stop gaps … where no matter what you gotta do, what you know you have to be doing. Ok, with that in mind maybe we better settle on one for this morning. It’s 6:16 now and we know we are going to do school. Why don’t we say 8:00 am start time. That will give us some time to clear our mind, but also get in a full day of work. Ok, let’s set timer now. Ok, that’s done … we’ve got an hour and forty minutes. That’s a good compromise time. Remember now, no matter what!
Ok, very good … hmm, we kind of got off the work track. Hey, I didn’t tell you yet how it went yesterday with the Advocate meeting. There were like 12 of us from the center at the meeting, and only about 14 other people. Terrible turn-out, but it was pretty cool that way actually. The meeting is supposed to be for parents, providers, and “consumers.” Hate that term. The guy who is now the provider leader is pretty cool. His name is Joe. The other lady who is kinda “scary,” is named Kathrine. She’s with the State. Joe did most of the meeting though and it was in a small room. So when we came in and realized there were only like 14 chairs set around a table, I had our group take chairs that were stacked by the wall and then they all sat down lining the wall’s length. Hehehe talk about being a “force!” Hehehe.
The group was READY to be there too! Joe ended up focusing the majority of the meeting on our group some of who are hard to understand, but all of them are verbal. There were three other clients from other agencies. One was very verbal and smart about “issues.” The other two were non-verbal. One had to leave the room because she was crying. *Sigh* The nature of the beast! Joe had an outline and he gave people a chance to discuss each of the issues, but invariably the questions were most answered by our group, and it was to a point, where he had to just choose three people to answer each question, because so many of our group had things to say on each issue. The most incredible thing is that I can assure you, there is not another group on the Southside who are more able to advocate their positions on almost any topic asked as long as they understood the words being used. For example, we had to let them know when Joe used the words “consumers” he was talking about them. Both ladies at the State level commented on how great our group was afterward. I kind of had that hint, for some of the questions Joe was asking. For example, he stated that some of the other people he had talked to complained about not having anything to do during the downtime. This confused our group. First, no one has ever heard the term downtime, and second there IS no downtime at our center. There is lunch, a 15 minute break in the morning and sometimes during nice weather an extra 15 minutes to go outside and shoot hoops or whatever out in the courtyard. There are nice wrought iron tables and chairs out there too.
We explained that there are 13 program areas like recreation, art, cooking, computers, and science that fill the client’s schedule when they are not working in the workshop area. Most agencies offer only a workshop area and they sit around the lunchroom if there is no work. And, this condition happens frequently. Our friend is the one that brings work into the shop, and unlike other agencies, we are swamped! The major contract now is stringing beads on a thread (fishing line), to be sold at different sewing and craft stores. Our friend also does contracting with other agencies, so we already knew what kind of problem’s there are out there for developmentally disabled work. The group likes the work, because the beads come in different shapes, colors, and sizes and brings them good paychecks which might be around the $50-60 area (but, that is per month). Still most parents let them spend the money, so they are enjoying the work.
At the meeting the group was asked to talk about transportation problems and about areas of the program that aren’t serving their needs. The other lady who was so smart brought up the area of having time for socializing. And, our group agreed. They talked about being able to talk on the phone, having their friends over, getting together on weekends and going out. Most families if not all at our center avoid too much interaction with their family members’ peers away from center time. I can’t tell you why, it just is. They also talked about restrictions felt in having boyfriends or girlfriends and getting married. They wanted to be treated as adults in these respects. They are also all well-motivated to going out to work. So far, out of the 46 present clients, only 7 of them work outside the workshop. The most common reason for Sister not getting them out sooner, is behavioral problems. Like overly talkative, may not understand boss/employee relationships. and when frustrated crying, running to the bathroom, or throwing something. It takes time for the individuals to mature. All of our workers get checked on, but are able to be left with just normal work supervision. A lot of the group is still getting there “love” needs settled which seems to come before “industry.”
It was very good though that they could communicate these things that are truly of interest to them. Our agency has had a great amount of practice at open discussions. We have led what we call the “Thinking Group” for about 5 years now. It is a once weekly meeting where they can talk about any issue or idea you could imagine. There minds have stretched much further than is common for most people, in a sense. They think for themselves on the hard issues of trust, respect, responsibility, and independence. There is also a lot of problem-solving involved. As a group, they have learned to use their voice. It’s been the most wonderful thing of working at the center. They’ve also learned to monitor their behaviors so it doesn’t interfere with the meeting too much. Mostly, I think, because the behavior issues have become part of the meeting. All along it has been suggested that people who are acting differently should get recognition, although their style of catching attention may be unsatisfactory. A lot of times what happens between people is that we’re not accepting or tolerating of differences. So, people have to learn not to get frustrated, or cry, or think that someone is being mean to them. It takes a long and continuous effort in this direction, but it is now to the point, where the group will self correct, in saying things like, “No, we have to listen to him, he's crying because he's upset about something.”
Another difference in our group from most is that most have learned to pay attention, because they’ve gotten the idea that when it is there turn to talk that others will quiet down to listen. That was a hard concept to learn. Moving as one. But, it has a tremendous affect at a meeting like yesterday. It made me so proud to hear them encouraging each other like in saying things like, “Sandy, you tell them! Go on, you can do it!” Just makes my little heart go pitter-patter! I’ve gone to similar meetings and seen other groups where the staff is battling with things like telling people to remove hats or get their feet off the chair. Or, in just trying to get one volunteer to speak. It’s terrible. It’s like they are there, but not there at the same time. The whole effort is between conflicts of staff and clients and each trying to gain a sense of their own power over one another. Respect … shoot. Just not there.
The meeting lasted about an hour and a half. The last issue I’ll mention here is the concept of going down to Springfield (Illinois State Capitol). Every quarter a group goes down that represents the South side. We along with other agencies are being asked to volunteer our time in representation. They have changed it so that a couple of agencies out of like 36 can go down each quarter. Apparently, the groups are being given funding for transportation (4 hour drive), a food allowance, and hotel for one overnight. They go down the night before, attend meetings all day, and then drive home at night. They would like to see one provider rep (staff), one parent, and two clients (one male, one female). While we have known all along people go down, it has been in the past that one set goes down for a year or more. It is new that they are switching up and getting more involved. It might be a task though to get all 36 South Side agencies involved. You can see here at this meeting the number of agencies taking interest in the total SouthSide Chicago neighborhood. I talked to Joe about it afterward, he said that they are going to try going out to all the agencies instead of having the agencies come to them. I will be interested to know how that goes. Our friend had sat on the board as financial for the last couple of years, so we know quite a bit about the group and its politics. We haven’t been real impressed with their ability to get much done and we haven’t had the patience for it. Our friend also went down to Springfield for a couple of years. I’m not real satisfied they get much done there either. At our State level, the Governor, is not pro-developmental disabilities. And, even though we were like the 43nd highest spending compared to other states, he has taken away more funds from us. Pretty pathetic all told. Still it would be a great thing to get our people more involved. It is more a matter of time than anything. *Sigh* Our Center is well represented in general knowledge about the Developmental Disabilities (DD) positions, at least on an Administration level (Administrator, our friend/consultant, the other Q and me). The DSP’s or direct support staff don’t know anything about what is going on due to limited interest and time. They are the people who work for six hours and scoot out of there without giving another thought toward work as soon as the clock hits 2:25 pm. Yeeks!
Eh again, the nature of the beast …
I think Sr. was pretty proud of the group after we had returned. She shows this more indirectly by listening to what everyone has to say about the meeting. She is still feeling kind of put out. She has a lack of respect, I think, for the leadership of the meeting. She knows of its potential, but was not impressed by the fact no other agency sent people, or that the leadership did not plan for more people to be there. There was also a Kwanza celebration, but it was not set up for people at our group’s level. She gave like 3 small packets of written information and had them turning pages. Not even pictures. This is not impressive considering none of our people read. To their credit it was still impressive to our group to see community leaders and community leaders who were primarily African American like a good proportion of them. They were also, of course, interested in the food that had been prepared. I think it made a very good impression on most to hear these voices speak to their hearts interest, such as standing up together as one people.
Great, great stuff.
So, anyway that was the majority of the day yesterday. Pretty cool, Hmm?
We had to pause here for a few minutes because Chief decided he should have his tummy scratched … gently of course. Both kitties have learned to be pretty direct. They rest one side of their paws against our chest then fall into it lying across our arms. Chief will bury his nose in our elbow and they become soooo pathetically cute, you can’t help but to pet :) BUT, after about 10 minutes, we say ….. ooooooooooooookkkk that’s enough!
Ok, ok … about 20 minutes left. Maybe we need to be thinking some more of school here. I’d like to hear about for a change, why we want to do school rather than we can’t! Maybe on the top of the list is maybe one of V’s thoughts. It makes us feel good to complete papers. AND, it makes us feel good to be writing them. We can only do our best at any one moment. It is surprising to us to feel as if we’ve gotten just a little better at it. There was something about doing this last set of papers for the multi-course in thinking it was too easy. That was pretty silly thinking, though I believe we have now set ourselves up to be quite challenged by the pure number of pages that need to written given time and space. No more of that, k!??
It would be kind of neat to feel confidence in going back to the room to see where everybody’s at. I’m pretty sure by now even if we got all the papers in, we wouldn’t be getting an A. I think what we might shoot for is an extension of time. I know to do this we have to get all the other papers and comments written by a set date. I think today we should make a point of asking the teacher about this. The only extension really is in getting the final paper in. Oh oh someone’s kitty came back for another round. Hmm, this is not part of the deal. Hehe at least he fits between our arms and are fingers are still able to type. Don’t want to lose our last 15 minutes of free time. And no matter what we got to do it! That is school of course. Have you ever seen such avoidingly kind of people?
Ok, looking forward to it right? We’re going to splash down in the middle of a previously half-written paragraph and just climb the ladder. :) That will give us a good feeling. After two papers (already outlined), we will go drop them off to school and try to catch a feeling of where we’re at. But, finishing the papers is like our initiation back into the club. We’re not going to be scared, we’re not, we’re not. Let’s think of what being a graduate student means. Hmm, for one we’ve upped our knowledge base. How many times have we already thought back to something learned the first two semesters. The learning part kind of sneaks up on you. One moment you don’t know how to do it, and the next moment, you not only know, but are also experienced! Hehehe.
We also like the feeling that we are moving up in the world. It is felt mostly by self-respect. We want to be at this next step, because it will be a testament to our abilities, not disabilities. I think we’ve fallen into that path and have to put it behind us. Ok, ok … that’s enough for now. We’re going to post, so we can start in a few moments. We can do this, right?
Chief and me signing out! Hmm, one of us is posting with our eyes closed!
posted by Ann Marie @ 12/10/2005 05:57:00 AM
Comments: 5
