Ayn's Multiple World

First Aid Training - Check!

Good morning. This is me. But, now we are at work. I forgot a couple of things. I should have brought my papers, and I forgot my coffee. And something else, but I forgot what it was. Oh, I know … we forgot to post the post we were writing earlier this morning. It’s short … Just a page and a half, but I don’t want to rewrite it now with such a short time left before the first aid meeting.

Ok, used the washroom. Got my extra notebook. Ran into Holly twice … she’s all freaked out. Probably because she thinks she’s already in charge, and probably because she is here already. Holly not being here first thing in the morning is one of the benefits of coming in at this time. Hmm, that’s a good idea. I’m printing up a back-up copy of my notes from yesterday, so I have something to distract myself with. I hope Keith gets here soon. I don’t want anything to go wrong with such a long training day ahead of us. His presence will put people at ease. Ok, yes, he will put ME at ease. Then I will be done with my responsibilities. Well almost.

If Keith needs anything then he will go through me. It will be aggravating, because Holly will open up her mouth throughout as if she is a co-trainer. And, she’ll be grunting uh and repeating after him. 6 hours this is a crazy farce. But, one hour, we’ll be gone and one hour she’ll be gone so there will be some reprieve. Hmm, 5 minutes … better go down to see if he’s here … make sure he gets coffee. ME get coffee!!

Hello. Hello. We’re back, but just for 10 minutes. I just finished lunch. We did the first aid 8:15 to 10 am, then the big Thinking Group 10-11, then ½ hour of first aid, now lunch, and then two more hours of first aid. Hehehe It was a big difference coming back into the group. I’m in the mode of just having done something fairly serious and they are like all slap happy and drained from all their laughter and goofing around. Brandi has taken a back seat to Theresa and Imelda is here for her last day – she was the goofy one before Brandi.

Whoops Brandi came in … she’s pretty spacey. Not personality wise, but in a jittery way. Two of them now have complained about sitting around all day. They are used to being up and moving around. It off-balances them. Plus, I don’t think any of them are used to this many hours of solid learning – true done with a lot of laughter. I’ll have to go now in two minutes. There was one notation that I should make today … and that is that Candice missed today. Brandi stated that she was up all night because she was going out with someone to club … blah blah. I will hear later from Sr. what excuse she gave, but we had saved the last hours up until 6 pm to be working on necessary stuff with her and she choked out.

Hmm, back … I’m all settled in … it’s 2:45 pm. Took a bit to get everyone calmed after the class was over. No, I’m no hero or anything, Just I’ll be the one stays and hears the chatter until the end of the day and they are out the door. I don’t by now I’m anyone real liked around here. If they want someone to take charge I’m here, but there is a lot of laughter and goofing around between them and that got carried on through the day with Keith the paramedic. There were plenty of harder things … not so much directly, but through the stories he tells. He’s on the edge of life and death every day … he has a different perspective. He can be very serious, but then on the other hand prodding on the silly stuff. I think its funny, but we all took on our roles. Mine was to be the most serious one there. I was the one taking notes and making sure that things went on as expected. When Theresa was tormented by the group to be the guinea pig on the table – she waited until I came back to get a straight answer. No Theresa, you don’t have to do it, you would do it only if you chose to volunteer. Then I think Keith knew that he had gone too far.

He finally said, no if you don’t want to do it you don’t have to. The idea of laying on top of the staff dining table with all those people touching you – practicing chin lifts is a bit intimidating. Poor Theresa didn’t say, but a few words. The laughing and gaiety went out of her.

But, then she rallied afterward when it had gone through the center that there was a stray cat that was looking for a home. It was outside by the door. I think it must be like a kitty sign, because the center has had more than a half a dozen kitties come to call.

I realized by being at the meeting that I’m probably the one farthest away from everyone. The new ones can be very silly. Or, maybe it just happens. I know that Kathy and Sue can be more serious. Stephaney said something inappropriate. There was nothing I could do, but laugh through it. It had to do with just one sentence followed by another of Ann going to ask Sr. Theresa if something was ok. She had asked earlier. Do they have defibrillators on airplanes? I couldn’t understand why she’d asked me. I nodded my head and said, “ask Keith.” She didn’t like that answer. She went to a couple of other staff members. Later the question was asked to Keith. The point is that Keith was the only authority to know that kind of question – why waste my time with it? He’s the expert we paid to be here. I think it is that same expectation when I say go to Sr. Theresa, or hold of bothering Sr. if you know it upsets her. Sure if you want to live on that side of the pond – your right go ahead and do anything you want. I’m like a guide … I haven’t memorized the playbook, because with Sr. Theresa it keeps changing. She wants to rule. I don’t care. I think I have cared, and I probably again will later. It’s just that it’s her world … she makes or breaks St. Rose Center. I’m going to comply to her wishes. Even if I get mad later I will figure it out. It’s not to say that Sr. Theresa is always right. Sometimes she makes mistakes, but I won’t go around challenging her authority or pretend I’m not under it.

I don’t know how it would be at another agency … sometimes I feel “whipped” into shape. I see characters on movies and I think I would be played by some people everyone is just set-up not to like. Sure you get glimpses in a long movie to know that person can help, but for now she’s a drone. I figure that I have to be a drone in the eyes of staff and Sr. It’s my role responsibility with no authority. It might be different in another agency. Maybe people really get authority. Just its not happening here with me, and its not happening with you either, so don’t dump that shit on me.

Then I did something equally as corrupting. I didn’t say anything back at that staff, but I see she has anxiety with me. I think eh. When I get around it. The thing is when I went to Sr. to give her information after the meeting. She was making statements as to all the goofiness I was reporting was unprofessional and that maybe she should go next time. That was another wrap on me. Part of me was serious – part of me laughed with others. But, I didn’t get into the loose talk about parties and alcohol that I’d heard coming back into the room from lunch.

Still I wasn’t good at either role … it’s true I was more somber that all the others, but it wasn’t what Sr. wanted, but as far as the staff goes, I was too somber and they would have wished me to liven up.

With the other information I shared with Sr. I told Sr. the second time that I have a hard time when she goes, because of the informalities, and I grimace the thought of Holly going from room to room, trying to make-up buddies. There has to be some line drawn between Q’s and DSPs. There should be some respect. It was respectful of Theresa to ask – are they serious, and it was nice of her to stay after it was my turn on the dummy and everyone left. Those kind of things hurt. When I enter the room and the room starts to quiet, or when I make a statement and it drops deadly, those were a few of my experiences today. When push comes to shove, I think that if I were sure, I would have the authority over Holly, but she’s real good with a long line of bullshit. Today, I called her on a line. I didn’t go out to do that, but it turned out that way. She had said earlier that the State doesn’t allow
defibrillators. I don’t know the context, but I asked are you sure Holly where does it say that. Well, actually Holly said, I don’t know that, but it would seem … yeah, like right Holly that’s bullshit. I will go check it out. I have to write down the question to make sure I remember it, but the bottom line is that it’s a dumbass thing to say stuff you don’t know as if you knew it for a fact.

I think I have that kind of respect from the staff … if they wanted something checked out they would ask, but if they just wanted to shoot the bull – only Brandi comes here. And, the two of us know that there is space now between us. Talking to me is dangerous, because they can’t tell what I’m going to tell Sister. I do things thought that is respectful to them. I turn my back enough so that they can run their games, but I still come back. Hmm, matter of fact that is something I should probably do. Fishyman is off now for the weekend. I should bring the materials home for those three annuals I’m behind in one way or another. I would like to have them complete and out of my way, so I have the freedom to go out and do whatever.

I think I mentioned before that Candice didn’t show up. Sr. was pretty upset about that later. She came up with some lousy excuse about sore throat hurting her vision – or something on that order. Apparently, Sr. had also talked to Brandi, because we all seemed to know that Candice went out to a late night night club.

Shoot, if your not coming in the next day – I think it’s a good idea to tell the most chatty person who really isn’t yet your best friend. It’s the same way when I talk to Brandi … I don’t talk to her about personal things, because I wouldn’t trust her. I do trust her somewhat in a game we’re playing now on running down Candice, except we’ve stepped in and said, ok, I know this work isn’t getting done, now what do I have to do about it. What happens if Candice doesn’t show up on Monday … a run-on of the same condition. I know that I will be the one responsible for making sure that meeting goes through. Oh Lordy. Thank goodness it is an afternoon meeting – that way I can write something up in the morning. I know I will keep my calendar clear for that. I hope if she decides not to come in she will forward some information to me. I’ll be damned if I cancel a meeting, just to be saved for ever. This is another Sr. deal. Sr. would have my head if we cancelled. I just know that about her. Am I being run by sister? Sure you betcha … this is her game … we’re just playing on her board. Simple as that.

Today sister was saying in her disgusted way I just don’t like Candice there is something wrong there. She goes on for a little bit, but, I don’t know if she’s put her thumb on it. She already knows me to put her thumb on that vein. Her response to my complaints of staff turnaround when she leaves was to say “Just handle it.” “Yes maam.” I don’t know I get ruffled anyway. We’re back to everyone minding their own business. I’m pretty sure I won’t go visiting the staff this week. I’m due, but I don’t want to ruffle the feathers. I’d like to tell Theresa what I thought the other day when visiting, but I knew as did sister that it was too much. The staff couldn’t take a review with real weight.

It doesn’t mean that I can’t work on the summaries that I already have. AND, I can work on getting myself and Candice from being backed up. That means either in preparing an annual or getting rid of those Qnotes. It turns out now that she has 6 staffings in the next month and a half. It can be done … no reason not to help her. She needs some.

Hmm, we just wrote her a note volunteering our phone number. She’ll have to make the call though. I can’t go any further than to offer help. She’s got to show up.

I know she’s scared … no reason not to make sure she doesn’t stay that way.

Hmm, we also got an email from the Chicago Tribune saying that the State is volunteering money from a “federal” account to pay for the mass transit difficulties. It’s like 27million dollars. They are calling Monday Doomsday – because they thought this help might not come in time before cutting services to 100,000 riders. It’s just temporary to last the end of the year. I think I would fire whoever was doing the transit … if he can’t run the business without blackmailing government for their errors than he or she should be gone.

Anyway we sent it on to Rich and Sr.’s accounts. Sr. will watch that carefully before she goes to decide how to handle the change with all our riders. About 2/3 are people come in on mass transit – Cabs, but mass transit cabs.

I guess if I’m going to get out of here I better start looking for my information … I’d like to run the whole Rich-gone weekend to finished up these tasks. Let’s see what would I need?

Ok, finally got it all together. I filled a 1 ½ inch binder with all the necessary papers, I think I need to do annuals and Qnotes. I don’t think I’ll finish them all, but they are there for the desire to have them done. I won’t have any boys events this weekend. I just have to get over my own lazyness. Hmm, like after I get home. I’m tired a bit, but I don’t have to do a great amount of mental work to get the job done. It’s all on my flash drive so I should be ok. Just have to gear myself toward it. I can be pretty sure I’m not going out of the apartment. So, maybe the first thing to do is clean off my desk. I should do that after dinner. Then I should take out some Qnotes and start marking them down. Getting the numbers is the first step and getting it on to the computer is the second step. Hmm should I do it all together? I think that’s what happened last time … let me think that through. I think if you do it all at once its slower, but maybe more efficient, because you have the numbers already in the calculator without starting over. Maybe I better try that.

I have to remember that I don’t have my keys and my car is down the block. They should be in my mailbox so all I gotta do is use the washroom, get my keys and go home, right? Let’s try that girls. Ok, now … all together?!

posted by Ann Marie @ 11/02/2007 04:55:00 PM Comments: 0