"Bout an 1 1/2 hours Observations" Please don't read - just transferring - drive ya silly
10:03 There is music playing
10:03 Everyone is working on goals, because last week was a short week
10:19 Maria discusses with the group who was finished with their bears and who was not
10:24 Everyone is told to sit and wait because the DSP needs to use the washroom (Q is in the room)
10:25 Several people seem to be yawning or wiping their eyes
10:28 The group is told to push in their chairs – they wait at the door for their DSP’s cues and then walk into the room across the hall as the other group leaves. They find their chairs.
10:30 The art room smells slightly like chemicals, but everyone sits down and is given a newspaper. The Christmas music is turned on. Glue is distributed, but slowly, until the DSP goes to the supply closet and begins filling empty glue bottles.
10:36 The group is told that after they get their glue they can just go ahead and finish
10:41 Everyone is working
10:45 People in general stop to say hi when Carl walk in to put away his coat
10:52 Q goes out for Styrofoam cups and more glitter
11:03 Everyone is working
11:15 Maria starts to put away the supplies
11:21 the glues are put away.
11:21 Everyone except one is sitting in their chairs in front of their lunch boxes
11:24 The music is stopped
10:03 Ana is in the hall walking
10:24 Ana comes back from her walk
10:30 Ana is given a bear cut-out with seeds and eyes to glue on
10 36 Ana is given instruction on what to do and encouragement
10:41 Ana stretches
10:56 Ana is given more instruction while the staff places more glue on the design
10:59 Ana is sleeping and is waken by her DSP twice
11:06 Ana is assisted with more glue
11:14 Ana is given more glue
11:19 Ana is told she is missing a few beans, but after completing the labeling of a peer’s bear, the DSP completes Ana’s by labeling hers and returning it to the drying table. The DSP folds the newspapers. Ana was told to go after Liz, but Karen went in before her
11:23 Ana was affronted by Karen to have her hands washed with the sanitary cleaner. The DSP told Karen it wasn’t the right time because Ana hadn’t been to the bathroom.
11:26 Ana is told to wash her hand after sneezing
11:28 Ana’s lunch is shown
10:03 DC is working one on one with her address. The staff tells her to take her time and shows her which figure goes in which box and is reminded to separate them
10:10 DC is reminded not to bunch up her letters and that there is one box for each letter
10:15 DSP directs herself to DC and asks, “DC if your done, did you go to the washroom?”
10:17 DC gets her lunch independently
10:20 DC reminds “the room” that it is time for art. The DSP asks her if she has started to work on bears yet.
10:23 DC is sitting waiting with 2 other peers for directions to leave
10:26 DC points out that Kenyana needs to put her box away and the Q suggests she can help her, DC takes the box is awkward with it and tries to give it to another peer. She complains she doesn’t know where it goes. When the peer tells her where it goes, DC ignores the peer and continues to ask where the box goes. After the DSP comes back – the DSP states that the box should be put away by the peer
10:30 DC has started a bear
10:33 DC is asked to wait while the DSP starts people with bears who have not been started. She seems to be ok with this
10:35 DC sings lightly with the music
10:37 DC is given instructions on filling the spaces she has missed previously
10:41 DC is given more help filling in the spaces.
10:52 DC Is told she is going to star on the Christmas light bulb.
10:53 DC is given instruction to start from top and follow example of Jeannette. She was to not go too fast which would wipe away the glitter. DC arranged herself pushing her hair in back of her.
10:54 DC calls her DSP over to confirm her work is being done correctly. She says, “like this?” The DSP puts more glitter glue on the bulb and says to go slower so cup doesn’t spill out of the Styrofoam cup and to make sure the letters on the top of the bulb were covered.
10:58 DC says “K”
11:02 DC is given more glue and instructed to spread to the white parts of her bulb
11:04 DC says “K”
11:05 DC is given more glitter glue and reminded to go slow.
11:07 DC needs more help. She says she needs more glitter glue. She is given instruction to spread out the glue.
11:09 The DSP goes to DC and shows her a white area and reminds her to go slow.
11:10 DC yelled out after a slightly lower-leveled peer who she had thought was leaving the room without permission. The DSP let her know that it was alright for the other to go.
11:13 DC was given more red, but she complained lightly, “I didn’t see any more white.”
11:14 DC tips her glass to the floor, but it doesn’t break, she continues to rock quickly as her DSP picks up the bulb and places it back in the cup
11:16 DC complains that her hands are dirty. Her cup is marked and she is told twice to go wash her hands. She says, “I’m finished man.”
11:18 DC talks to herself in the bathroom. When DC comes out of the bathroom, she is given sanitary cleaner
11:24 DC is asked what she is having for lunch and DC shows what is in her lunch
10:03 Danny is told to sit down
10:08 Danny is asked to copy numbers … it appears there are about six lines for him to place numbers, but this was viewed from a distance.
10:09 Daniel picks up his pencil box and takes out a light green/yellow pencil
10:10 Daniel sits back in his chair
10:12 Daniel doesn’t appear to be working
10:18 Daniel gets up independently to use the washroom
10:19 Daniel allows Gaspar to open the door for him after coming back from the washroom.
10:23 Danny is standing as are four of his peers
10:24 Is the only one that remains standing after the group is told to sit and wait while the DSP uses the washroom
10:30 Daniel is given a bear cut-out with seeds and eyes to glue on
10:34 Glue is placed on Daniel’s bear and he starts to place seeds on his bear
10:35 Daniel stops working to look around
10:55 Daniel is staring
10:59 Daniel is given eyes and sent to work
11:01 Daniel is given more glue
11:17 Daniel gets up to wait for the bathroom then goes soon after when his peer returns
10:05 DSP goes to Roy and works hand over hand to draw letters. One of the letters is a “B.” She gives him instruction such as “go up, down, and around.”
10:07 DSP returns to assist Roy
10:09 Roy is told to put his pencil down harder
10:12 Roy is watching Jeannette who is putting away colored markers
10:17 Roy gets his lunch independently
10:23 Roy is standing to leave as are four of his peers
10:30 Roy has started a bear
10:36 Roy is given instruction on what to do and encouragement
10:43 Roy picks up his beer to show his Q the beer in progress just over the back of his right shoulder. He works another few minutes and then shows the bear again. He is told to keep working on the bear and that we would see it when it was complete.
11:01 DSP places glue on Roy’s bear and hands him a bean
11:04 DSP goes to Roy to give him more glue and instructions
11:05 Roy begins to sing with the radio, “Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.”
11:06 The DSP checks Roy
11:06 Roy is assisted with more glue
11:07 Roy continues to hum
11:14 Roy is given more glue
11:19 The DSP tips Roy’s completed bear and a few beans fall off. She writes his name on the back and adds it to the drying table. The DSP folds the newspaper to throw away and asks Roy to go to the bathroom and wash his hands.
11:26 Roy shows his lunch is a dinner
10:06 Jeannette states she is done and is told to take her time writing her first name and last as a separate task.
10:11 Jeannette is asked if she knows her name. She is reminded that she only asked for the name and that the DSP didn’t ask for the address.
10:12 Jeannette is asked to put her complete paper on the DSPs desk and then puts away colored markers
10:13 Jeannette finds an automatic orange pencil in her box that was given to her at Halloween by a Q. She initiates questions about it to her DSP. Jeannette is asked to look at some pictures. The DSP then tell her she’ll be right back.
10:16 DSP returns to Jeannette and goes over pictures wish her. She asks, “What is it showing you?”
10:17 DSP marks the correct pictures. Jeannette identifies 5/9 pictures correctly
10:18 DSP assures Jeannette she is done and reminds her to use the washroom
10:23 Jeannette is standing to leave as are four of her peers
10:30 Jeannette is asked to come over and help identify bears that have been worked on while the DSP was absent.
1030 Jeannette has started a bear
10:38 Jeannette is told to wait because she is going to start on a special project
10:46 Jeannette is given a demonstration on applying glitter glue to a light bulb and then spreading it with a paint brush.
10:57 Jeannette is given instruction on spreading her glitter glue out, but not with her hand, because that would make them sticky
11:05 Jeannette is given more glitter and showed where to go next on her bulb. She seems to be spreading it out very thin.
11:09 Jeannette is given more instruction and continues to spread the glitter glue thin
11:13 Jeannette sits back in her chair relaxing for a moment. She smiles appreciatively still in the space of her work. She looks content.
11:17 Jeannette is given more glue
11:21 Jeannette is the last one and continues to work.
11:22 Jeannette was stopped and told for the time being she would need to put her work aside because she wasn’t finished with one of the sides.
11:23 Independently Jeannette used the hand cleaner
11:25 Jeannette shows what is in her lunch
11:27 Jeannette is told she can bring home her bear because it is dried.
10:07 Elizabeth has paper and pencils out, but is watching staff working with peers
10:10 Elizabeth is asked if she is finished
10:11 The DSP corrects liz’s work – they both sit by her station. She discusses the number in her address, such as the circle in the number 6.
10:12 Liz is directed in Spanish
10:16 Elizabeth is prompted to get her lunch
10:18 Elizabeth gets up independently to use the washroom
10:20 Elizabeth volunteers to help Kenyana to clean up her station
10:23 Liz is standing to leave as are four of her peers
10:30 Liz has started a bear
10:34 Glue is placed on Elizabeth’s bear and she starts to place seed on her bear.
10:50 Liz is assisted by the DSP when the DSP points to spots where she has missed
10:54 Elizabeth is also started on a bulb. She chooses orange and is given instruction in Spanish.
11:06 The DSP assists Liz
11:14 Liz is given more glue
11:15 Liz dabs at her bulb
11:20 Liz is done with her project and the DSP ask her to go to the bathroom
11:26 Liz shows what’s in her lunch
10:07 Kenyana’s back is faced toward the Q, but it appears she has papers in front of her and markers. She is holding one of the markers and looks at it closely.
10:09 Kenyana’s pants are pulled down so that her underwear show, which doesn’t seem to bother her.
10:12 Kenyana doesn’t appear to be working
10:19 Kenyata continues to look at her hands that are holding a marker. She is told to put away her markers when she is finished. One minute later she is asked again to put away her markers
10:20 DSP starts to help Kenyana and then Elizabeth volunteers to assist her peer
10:23 Kenyana is sitting waiting with 2 other peers for directions to leave
10:30 Kenyana has started a bear
10:36 Kenyana seems to be sleeping with her tongue sticking out.
10:39 Kenyana seems to be bent over appearing to be barely awake. She holds her tummy and then bends over it. She is sitting on one foot and the other foot doesn’t touch the ground. The DSP talks to her giving her simple instruction. She is told when she has enough glue.
10:41 Kenyana stretches and wiggles
10:48 Kenyana has more glue applied by her staff and is asked to pick up one bean and then another and place it on the glue. Kenyana continues on her own.
10:55 Keyana is given more glue. She seems drawn to the project
10:58 Kenyana is directed by pointing where to put pieces
11:03 Kenyana is asked by her DSP, “Are you done?” Then she writes Kenyana’s name on it and puts it on the table to dry. Kenyana is given a light bulb and Styrofoam cup. She is rocking
11:04 Keyana is given blue glitter glue and told, “This is glass. Go slow and careful.” Kenyana holds the cup in her hand.
11:05 Kenyana is checked and told to go slow.
11:07 Kenyana takes out the light bulb from the cup holder. She is assisted by the DSP in placing it back correctly and is given more blue. She continues to spread it smiling lightly. The DSP stands by closely. Kenyana leans over on her arm and brushes. Her DSP points to the white spots. After quickly finishing the bulb, she is told to wash her hands. The DSP marks the cup and then goes on to the next peer.
11:10 Kenyana left the room knowing independently without being told that it was time for her to go to lunch, because she was told to wash her hands.
10:07 Gaspar has a newspaper in front of him and sometimes looks at it and turns pages. At other times he is looking around at his peers.
10:16 Gasper is prompted to get his lunch
10:19 Gaspar is told to put away his papers when he is finished.
10:19 Gaspar opens the door for Daniel who is coming in from the hall bathroom … Maria points out that he has learned to be courteous.
10:22 Gaspar is vocalizing “uh-uh”
10:23 Gaspar is sitting waiting with 2 other peers for directions to leave
10:23 Gaspar is told 2x to put disc away because the group was going to art and not music
10:25 Gaspar is laughing to himself
10:30 Gaspar is given a bear cut-out with seeds and eyes to glue on
10:34 Gaspar is told how to place glue and seeds in Spanish. He carefully starts to place seeds where the DSP has placed glue
10:48 Gaspar is reminded to follow the lines
10:50: Gaspar is given more beans to finish, but then it appears the design is complete and the DSP writes a name on the bear and takes it away to dry on a nearby table.
10:57 More glue is put on Gaspars
10:58 Gaspar is given eyes
11:02 The DSP responds to Gaspar “whisping” for the DSPs attention. She shows him where he is missing beans on his bear
11:11 Gaspar whisped over for Maria. Maria wiped off glue and labeled the bear. Gaspar finished the last bean. He then picked up his peer’s beans and put them in his cap cover. He also folded his news paper and threw it away. It did not appear that he was told to do any of this
11:17 Gaspar goes to the bathroom then comes back quickly and his peer goes
11:18 Gaspar looks at the container with all the different colors of glitter glue (appx 10) before putting it down by cue of his DSP
11:18 Gaspar is given sanitary cleaner
11:25 Gaspar takes out his lunch to show, but sneaks a drink of his juice. The DSP teases him by giving him a look as if he’s in trouble, but he’s not and he laughs as if he’s gotten by with it.
10:08 Karen has her notebook open and is writing in it
10:15 DSP goes to Karen and says to put numbers by her ingredients. It appears that she is copying a recipe. She is reminded to do only one page.
10:20 Karen assists the DSP in following the direction to bring the newspaper with them
10:23 Karen is standing waiting to leave as are four of her peers
10:25 Karen goes to the closet and is questioned by the Q – she states that she needs to get her cell phone. She shows it to the Q and then puts it in her pocket.
10:30 Karen is given a bear cut-out with seeds and eyes to glue on
10:32 Karen is given a choice of 3 different sizes of eyes. She begins to glue though looks up at the Q every time the Q looks over to her to observe her
10:56 Karen has outlined her bear and is adding tiny little beads to it. She seems to be going very slow, but intently.
10:58 Karen is told her bear is very nice.
11:06 Karen tries to tell the DSP that Kenyana messed up her sleeve with paint, but is put at ease by the DSP
11:20 Karen gets up independently, but not securely to move her project by holding with two hands the newspaper around the cradled bear. She appears happy when her DSP comes over to help her. She goes to the bathroom.
11:23 Karen went to Ana and initiated having Ana wash her hands with the sanitary cleaner, though she hadn’t been to the bathroom or asked for help
11:24 Karen asks why the music is stopped and is told that it is time for lunch
11:26 Karen doesn’t open her bag, but she states what’s in her lunch
Let's get on to December WooHOO! FRIDAY!!!
Good morning. This is me. It’s about 8:30 am now. So, we’ve been here for almost an hour. We might have gotten in about 10 minute late. There we had to do a little trouble shooting this morning. First our AOL wouldn’t come on, so we had to reconfigure some stuff – can’t believe we got it to work, usually we have to start it all over – downloading that is. And, then the changes must have affected our music. So, we went through the changes it recommended which was medium hard … not really hard, but took concentration.
So – where do we stand?
I think there was good and not as good. We really had to watch our dollars, because we had only $11 and had to worry about tolls, parking, gas and a soft drink from it. As things went we didn’t get the soft drink - $5 went to gas, but we still ran out before getting to Dr. M’s … we bypassed the tolls, and since we saved on the parking at Dr. M’s … yes. That meant there was $6 for a seafood submarine. Yeah, yeah … you do the math. Uh huh.
I think that was my only extravagance though. We had an orange after that and some water, so the end of the night turned out ok. We also spent about an hour to an hour and a half in the room. I think about 6:30 – 8 pm, or there about. I didn’t really go in there to talk this time … I think I would have if it had been slower … I think its just that we’re not up to the speed of a fast room.
As to what we learned – not sure. There were a few new people we noted. One was wealthier and talked about spas, which everyone seemed to enjoy and another talked about the surprise in finding out she’d found out she’d been turned into with the surgery a “raving sex machine.” That one really made us laugh. I’ve heard that going around. Seems like good things are ahead. Another didn’t get much support from her family and was looking forward to drinking a full glass of water – she was at 3-4 weeks and would have to wait until possibly 7-8 weeks. I didn’t realize that we weren’t going to be able to drink afterward. One of the ones I thought was a person who gave good advice was in and there was another who was having surgery in less than 2 weeks and was struggling through the liquid diet part.
I keep trying to pick up parts of how things are going to go and what I should be looking toward. It goes the same with food notes. We figured out last night that soft food includes lunch meat, moist chicken or pureed, baby food, eggs, fish, tuna, etc. And we learned that when people plateau that one idea is to go back to liquids for a week and then go through the food phases again. We also learned that we had to keep the carbs to about 15, because at about 20 carbs, we would experience the dumping. And one person suggested that if everything else failed – go back to eating cheese.
Ok, lots to learn yet, right? Oh one more thing. We got a call from our Surgery staff. She said that I should do the psychology part, and pulmonary test, and continue with the 6 months, then when those results went in – and were ok’d by them, they would send info for ok from the insurance company. If that went ok, then they’d set up the dates for all those other blood tests, ect. And they’d give us a date. I guess that’s the big thing … I also have to keep concentrating on losing weight. I’m thinking that I need to get back into a physical plan too. Something should be recorded as a regiment. I think this might be part of it though. That is keeping records. Need to work more on specifics … I think I need something to report to the nutrition and wellness center. Ok, this part to be posted over to OH and then we’ll continue the regular blog.
Good morning. I'm taking a few moments out to say that I got to work and so far everything is fine. I would rather still be at home just going over thoughts on getting ready for the surgery. I feel pretty obsessed with it and being around the group of people from OH. This morning I found that the surgery might increase our sex drive ~~ WooHOOO!!! Look out Sweetie!
I'm on a medicine now that is supposed to curb appetite. I forget what it is called. I have to start it slow. 1 pill in the evening for a week, then 2 pills one in the morning one in the night, and onward until by the end of the month we're up to 4 pills two in the morning and two in the night. I didn't feel hungry this morning for the cereal, but it didn't stop me from eating the last piece of pumpkin pie. We started the medicine Wednesday night.
I know I have to focus on work. We've set an internal rule about not visiting the chat room while we're at the office ... yes dear ... even after 4 pm. If we want to chat, we will need to go home. I think we're going to allow the blog entries just for a few moments ... just so we can make it through. It's going to be ok, right? I think we have to set a goal though ... why don't we say let's work on just eating what we're supposed to so tomorrow morning we get on the scale again, hmm? Ok you ... now don't be difficult!
Hmmm?!
Ok, back again. It’s now 9 am. We are very happy to now have five friends over at OH, one I met from the links to matching surgeons, three are from the room, and one is from reading her blog on a search of other women who were in my weight category.
She had a really creative blog. I’m still thinking about all that a lot, while I’m at work. Not sure what to do with that. Its like breathing air … I seem to require it desperately. I’ve got on my left screen a copy of the OH and AMW Blogs … I need it for some kind of emotional security. Yesterday that lack of security prevented us from going to the first meeting when we should have to have kept Dr. M’s appointment. I really didn’t remember it before we backed out to Plan B., but nonetheless … we needed to be writing like we are now.
I know that means that I’m a particular personality that is different than some of the others that can do other things. I don’t know how to identify myself as different. I think I get the same pictures of what’s going on as them … maybe that’s the problem … it’s too much. I need to keep things in mind … in front of me to keep up with what’s going on. I have trouble holding information together. I really don’t know what it is that we’re supposed to be doing. The bulletin board states that we are to look in the spreadsheet for something … oh it has our task schedules. But, what happens if I don’t want to do that! Shhh, ok, that tells me that I’m probably not the oldest wisest part. Shh, don’t get me started. Ok ok … shhhhhhhhhhhhh
I don’t think we’re supposed to do any observations today, but we should probably get the last one typed up. AND, we’re not started on the first goal outstanding for C. PLUS, we got Thinking Group today at 1 pm. Can’t even remember the last time we had one. I haven’t the faintest idea how to do all that. Probably will take some planning time. I have to watch out for excusing myself that I don’t have to do any “hard” work until then. You know not focus until before or after that. I think we can’t write a book on how who and what we are all about until after Sr. is gone and we’re retired, or she’d skin us for all the time we aren’t concentrating on work directly. Hmm, our Sweetie is coming in today too. Oh him the mastermind who can glance at us in a minute and tell us what we’re up to. HMPF!
Ok, at least now we’re thinking of work like thoughts. That’s good, write? I think part of my needs are that I need my fingers on the keyboard and going relatively fast. I need to think and type. That’s the way I work. THOUGH … someone seems to be making a lot of typos … that could stand some improvement, hmm?
Oh … just for a side note looking around the room, today is the first day we wore our winter coat into the office. We got it out for going out to the meeting in Elgin last night. Maybe we can talk a minute about it being a Friday AND Sr. has already passed out the checks. That means that I need to stop by the bank on the way home, and maybe by Monday I can send out the checks for the car and the rent. That always makes me feel better. And, we’ve held good to the part where we don’t spend money from the bank account … I think there’s $6-700 left.
I think we’re going to need reimbursing sweetie for gas though. He didn’t say that, but I feel guilty saving money for it from the bank account and then getting the money from him. We also cheated a little. We figured that we should spend about $30 for gas and he gave us a $50 and asked for change back. So, we went to the gas station and got $20 back, but we only got $24 gas. The $6 difference is going to go for cleaning our filthy car. It didn’t open until 9 am – 8 pm, but I figure we’re going home that way tonight for the bank. I think the number is good for a month.
We put a special hole mark in the receipt so we remembered not to throw it away. Good thinking us!
Hey did you hear snow maybe for tomorrow? Let’s check into that!
Right now is 32 F, but do to 15 MPH wind and such it’s supposed to feel like 22 F.
It’s supposed to be sunny today and mostly clear tonight, but it will be followed by clouds. It says for tomorrow a light mix of winter precipitation becoming heavier and steadier in the afternoon as the wind picks up. Cold. High 32 winds 10 to 20 increasing to 20-30 mph. And, then in the evening windy with periods of snow, sleet or freezing rain in the evening changing to rain showers late – damn then mid 40’s and rain showers on Sunday. I really was hopin for snow. Double damn.
Well there you are, you heard it from here first. Stalling? Me? What do you mean? Just saying is all!
Ok, let’s say within 20 minutes or by 10 am, we’ll get into something. Let’s be firm ok? What will we get into? I think we’re going to do the notes from Maria’s room. Might as well do it while its still fresh and she is probably more eager to see it. I think she’ll be ok. I showed her a copy and she returned them of the other two that I had done. I don’t know if she had any questions, but at least she knows what we were after. I think we should look for Kathy’s and if there is time this afternoon, maybe we could do hers too.
Hmmm … Seems there was a whole tour through my office a second ago. There were a bunch of maybe 8th graders who were visiting from a nearby Catholic school … I had heard they were coming – it’s always good to mix the groups – all about inclusion.
They look so young and sort of nervous, because they don’t know what to expect being here. I had to laugh … Brandi was giving the tour and introduced my office as the place that everything happens. I like that hehehe … it really means though that she doesn’t know what we’re doing. Rich had stated that that we were sneaky. He said it was part of our being so smart that we could hide things . I suppose that’s not so good an idea, hmm? Maybe later after these people leave we’ll go talk to Sr. about the meeting. Hmm, she’s handed it off to Brandi … maybe she has time now, maybe I better check that out? *sigh* sounds like work. Ok, ok … we’ll at least check.
Hmm, she’s touring with one of the groups too. We’ll check again about 12:15-12:30 pm. Went up front anyway, because we wanted to get some ice water. It should be listed as one of our steps … there … noted it on OH. That’s where we want all our food and exercise things to be. Ok, did we get somewhere? It’s 10:07?
It just takes some effort, remember? Let’s go over this … you can do it. Maybe we can type it? Then you can be at the computer? We can put documents across the screens … Hmm, doesn’t that seem like fun? Ok, we’ll have an orange and then we’ll do it at 10:30 am. That gives us an hour – quick lunch then an hour to plan Thinking Group, we gotta do that, remember? Then back to the Observation work – oh and get the original from Kathy I don’t think we got a copy day before Thanksgiving, k? Yes maam. Next time up.
Ok, 15 minutes … and we better look efficient … Rich is here. We heard him, so figured we better take down our blogs. That means we should anyway … I guess that’s the new policy … if Rich wouldn’t approve we are probably doing something that we should be. He’s tough. Let’s get the set up for the other thing.
WooHOO! We did stuff! It’s now 3:53 pm and there is only 7 minutes to TGIF Time!!! AND … SWEETIE IS TAKING US OUT! WOOHOOO!!!
So, it be in our best interest to go home, hmm?
Just wanted to finish up here. Loosely, we worked with just a couple things.
You’ll see posted in this next entry after this the Observations. This took a long time to do. True we had a couple of groups. I had forgotten about the Circles group at noon, and then there was the Thinking Group after that. We also had gotten the late start due to the reading and are leaving on time … So, I guess it’s not too bad. We had 10 pages of long 14” legal pages of notes to sort out. We felt real proud of ourselves for working it out as separate words documents across the screen. At one point you weren’t able to do that … sure the extra screen helps a lot, but at one point the Word program was made so there could only be 8 docs open.
Could you imagine them thinking that could ever be enough? That’s just silly. We had 10 going and it was beautifully teared so kinda fun … It was much better than the desk version of looking through the paper set 10 times and writing it all by hand. Yeeks! What was I thinking?
As a reminder if anyone wants to write on it later the groups were both good. We caught the Leadership group up on the yellow acquaintance circle and the orange strange kid circle and we talked in general to see how they were doing, and then we went through scenarios of “what if?” It was great. The bottom line is that you don’t get involved with strange kids. But, there was a lot of tempting … Ok shhhh, we can save some of that for later if there’s time. The group asked what we were going to do in Thinking group at the end of their group. I asked them, hmm what do you want to do? They figured they wanted to do Christmas plays. So, we squeeked out 3 of them. We paid attention to the theme, setting, plot and character. That’s pretty much it … the 3 stories were about Santa coming to their party and handing them out presents, being around their home Christmas tree, going out and then being robbed of presents, and then being at a K-mart and being upset because they didn’t have your movie and needing to be escorted out by the security guy.
Yah yah … that’s what we all think about. Everything around Christmas time seems to be about presents. We’ll have to manage around that later. Oh, one more thing we just got a cal from Liftetime fitness. They had a sale that ended tonight for half off the entry fee – so $149.50 for that, $79.95 monthly, a free extra month of a trainer and I agreed to come in tomorrow at noon. I just want to see what’s there.
I’m not afraid of signing up because I don’t have any money. Sweetie said he had a game at night and on Sunday morning, so maybe he’ll come and maybe he won’t, but one way or another I should advance that deal. The sales persons name is Chris, the place is at 601 Burr Ridge Parkway, in Burr Ridge, 60527 and the phone number is 630-288-5217. Hehehe just taking a note here, so I don’t have to carry anything with me. What a good life I lead … and leading such … don’t want to keep sweetie waiting … see ya later!
Ok, got a pretty good day in for the most part
Good morning. This is me. We’ve got a reprieve this morning. We were supposed to be going to a meeting 10-12, but had it changed to 1-3. Unfortunately, this might interfere with my Dr. Marvin appointment. We just sent him an email explaining the situation. It’s supposed to be 38 miles or 52 minutes from the afternoon meeting to Dr. Marvin’s. I need to be at Dr. M’s office by 4:15 to make the appointment – so theoretically there is only an extra 23 minutes to spare, but I told him I would try if he’d be willing to keep the appointment open given that I might have to cancel if traffic got too heavy. We’ll see.
But, for the moment that’s the best I could do. I had forgotten about it being Thursday when we rescheduled the first meeting, by the time I thought of it the woman had already switched me over and it would have been too rushed, though I’d gotten through the shower. According to the new time schedule, I should be leaving at 11:30 am, and it’s 8:45 am now – so I’ve got 2 hours and 45 minutes left to go.
This is a good thing. I need time to write and settle down.
Ok, so next … As to an update to the OH blog … I met another potential patient of Dr. Ayloo this morning – so that’s pretty cool. We’ll look forward to all that. I didn’t go into the chat room this morning, but we were there for a short while last night. It was pretty good, but we had to remind ourselves to jump in again.
Sometimes we feel intimidated. I keep saying that … maybe we need a self-intervention here. What seems to be the problem? I guess it’s often a matter of coming in and having the sense of it being “bigger people” out than us. They are talking fast between themselves and usually teasing each other in a sexual manner.
We know as older parts that this is just playing around and its fine, but we need to have a plan of how “we” as a system are going to handle it.
I think maybe the first rule should be that we not be afraid of being in the room when we know it will probably happen like right after work. People seem to be releasing pressure from there day at that time. We can also keep in mind that its not serious. Most time people talk about going to spend time with their spouse and such. We can choose to sit back and just to watch and jump in later when it dies down, or come in more often when new people come in … it seems often like we’re more comfortable saying hi and good-bye to people. That’s ok. We also like asking how they are doing. Because sometimes others like to talk about other stuff than the “foreplay” stuff. Also, we noticed that one of our parts volunteered a few things toward it the other day … so maybe it would help to develop our own “out loud” sexual personality. That’s a thought, hmm? We'll have to take "notes" as to how the relationships work, so that we can maintain our feelings of safety. I know this is more a mental problem than an actual one. Ok, slow down … Just one step at a time. For right now let’s work on just being comfortable in the room whenever we have those opportunities to be there.
Ok, and as far as diet? Where are we? Hmm … We had one candy bar yesterday, but I think that was the only extravagance. We had vegetables waiting for our soup, and I think there was one other thing, do you remember? Oh, I do … just an orange for something sweet. That’s it. Ok, so this was a mediocre day. Let’s see if we can get through today without stopping for something. That means we eat only at home … no stopping by anywhere. We won’t be at work direct, so we won’t have to worry about those blessed candy bars for sale. YEEKS! It will be a little tricky, because we are going to need asking for money for tolls and parking. We need enough without too much for stopping somewhere. Still no credit card so we’ll have to ask Sweetie. *Sigh* Ok, let’s not get down … time to post now please? It'll be ok.
Now … back to the regular blog. We were just checked on by Sweetie … he said that something had gone wrong in the coffee department … well, he didn’t say it that way exactly, but it was an alert nonetheless. It was like oh no … I’m not doing my job … we’ll give it a few moments and then go in and fill it for him. I like when we’re nice to each other. Earlier he’d come into to fill my cup … just those nice things to let each other know we’re thinking of each other, but respecting the space we each need. I really like it. It works good to have two computers in the house.
Hehehe I don’t think we would have ever survived only having one. Besides clothes that’s all he really brought to the household and BELIEVE me it was ENOUGH!
There coffee chore fulfilled! We delivered it with a kiss. Hehehe He let me be a little more frisky this morning. We snuck up on him when he went to the shower – nekid. WOOHOOO!!! He’s so hot! Touching him melts our hands and lips. Just an incredible melt-out. Wow!
*Sigh* But, if I think like this all day there will be NO work done … silly girl!
It’s already 9:30 am. What do I want to accomplish over the next couple of hours?
Hmm? I could try to get something productive done … not sure if I want to go there though. But, I’m equally not sure if there is something personal I have to get accomplished. We did try to have a conversation about what we were doing in work with Sweetie last night. He had said something about wanting to here the good stuff – gossip from work. Hehehe I think I’m teaching him that bad trick. We told him it was a slow day with the exception of Candice being called in because of not being prepared for the meeting. I really believe it is a developmental thing … she just needs to know where she stands. Sr. stated later she’s frustrated because of Candice always trying to blame someone else, but its really a matter of owning up to the point that she wasn’t prepared for the meeting. She hadn’t completed the goals by the morning and she didn’t have clear time to be working on it before the meeting because she had a group that she shouldn’t be compromising. Sr. keeps repeating to her that she should have plenty of time to do the work, because she has only one other day of commitments. She’s had though the Q meetings for the last two months, and last week she had 2 days off. She had taken home the computer, but then didn’t get any work done. We’re against the idea of her counting on home time to do the work. I know we do this sometimes too, but its not the way to go.
Anyway, Rich seemed pretty in touch with what’s he’s seen in the office … he’s pulling in his own information from sharing the same office with her. He’s pretty perceptive. I asked him what he sees from us. He chuckled and said something about us being more elusive or … sneakier, but that he knew where we were at when he walked in … and then he described about 5-6 different ways we could be when he walked in. I recognized them all, so I thought – eh, he could be on to something there. Then we asked how he knew it, but he wasn’t giving in on his secrets. That makes us think that Sr. knows too when she walks in and we’re not focused. But, for the most part, we are focused on something. So that counts in our favor.
Yesterday, she was generous and pointed to the part of us doing work with program development and all and that was taking our time – so that we had less clients but other things to be doing.
It’s true that the program development has been taking the majority of our time.
Yesterday there was a lot of it … I think I just wrote a couple of conclusion paragraphs let me check. Nope no conclusionary paragraphs. We just wrote we were going to IL State Ed site. We spent the majority of the day there, with the exception of the time we spent with Maria’s group … YAY!!! Got something done that was a little harder that we’d planned on doing! That’s the good stuff. I had a pretty enjoyable time in Maria’s room. She did goals for the first half hour – had been doing them, and then went over to the art room for the next hour. I don’t think everyone was doing critical work during the goal period, but she was working the best she could with many of them. And, then she did well in getting everyone started and working during the art period. She first worked on a project where she was having them glue beans onto a ¾ inch x ¾ foot wooden bear cut-out. For the four people who had finished the project, she had them work on a project where they were using a glitter-glue stick and a paint brush to spread the glitter over the light bulb to cover it. She used a Styrofoam cup to hold the light bulb by poking a hole in the bottom of it. I was impressed that she not only gave it to the most able students, but also to an individual who was not as able. Pretty risky thing to do with a glass light bulb. One of the individuals did drop the bulb, but fortunately it did not break.
There was about 8-9 pages of notes. I brought it home and I might do it over the weekend or tomorrow at work, but I don’t I’ll get it done today. We’ll see how it comes out. Oh, that’s what we were talking to Rich about while we watched him eat last night … was basically – well, not too much gossip … sorry, but about the part of using these sessions and the old program development guide and the state curriculum to assist us in setting up our own curriculum. We’d told him we spent quite a bit of time reading yesterday in trying to understand the state “system.”
This included reading not only 1-12, but years 1-3. We haven’t gotten to pre- and Kindergarten, but we’ve seen it in there too. We are very impressed with it because its developmental. Rich was playing devil’s advocate and saying that if they haven’t learned it yet, which belies the point that they may just be slower at reaching the milestones. The point would be if you don’t know what the milestones are – how can you plan on reaching them.
The school district has something similar to St. Rose School’s performance levels.
We had 3 levels and they have 4 levels, which I’m fine with working on … they are starting, approaching, meeting, and exceeding. Then they tie it cleverly to range, frequency, facility, depth, creativity and quality. I don’t know how they got all those things and if they are really parallel. But, it seems like something of interest to look at. They place it in a matrix that looks like this.
I think this is very creative on someone’s end. Maybe this kinda grids been around forever, but I don’t know much about education per se. It seems it has to deal with how much one has learned, how often one can apply the learning, how quickly he applies the knowledge, how good is the coverage of knowledge, how new is the self-material, and how good is the quality. That seems pretty excellent to me. Someone really had to think to do that. Seems there are quantity and quality assessments, which is pretty darn neat. I like this a lot. Somehow, we’ll use it.
We should probably remember this too … it will help us keep in mind the scope, especially in teaching the staff and applying. The following is the section as it applies to one of the seven program areas – language arts – that ISBE (Illinois State Board of Education) covers. I need to study this because I think it’s a very essential description of the key elements and how they cuddle together.
Ok, you’ll see it in a few moments … It’s already 11 and I have to be ready to leave in a half hour, plus, I should eat before I go and I have to get dressed YEEKS! I was skimming through material – more toward becoming orientated to the site. I found myself back to something I’d looked at before … they have something called a NETS program that is a National educational program for technology systems. It comprehensively covers the 7 program areas and how they relate to technology. The social studies department went all out and has 10 different areas of their study and then they have sections in each of those for low, middle, and high grades. It’s pretty cool … I can’t even wrap myself around what they cover because it seems so huge to me. I think we’re going to do those other things and see if I can squeak out any loose minutes. You know how I hate to be torn away from here … trying not to whimper.
Whoops I gotta go. Been on the phone with Rich … he left already … luckily he left about $7 quarters on his dresser that he said I could have. We’re worrying about tolls and Dr. Marvin’s parking. I’ve allowed plenty of time. 90 minutes when it’s supposed to be 52 minutes, but I gotta find the place within a compound and nothing is marked well. So, better be on our way … maybe more later.
Umm, I just want to save this part for later, so
SCROLL DOWN TO THE END OF THIS
SECTION…
INTRODUCTION
Design for Performance Standards
The Illinois Learning Standards are content standards that describe “what” students should know and be able to do in grades K – 12. Each content standard includes five benchmarks that describe what students should know and be able to do at early elementary, late elementary, middle/junior high, early high school, and late high school.
The challenge for the 2000-2001 school year was to produce performance standards that would indicate “how well” students should perform to meet the standards. To address this challenge, a number of perspectives needed to be considered. For example, the National Governors Association raised two pertinent questions policymakers should consider for the design of performance standards:
• Do the performance standards indicate the levels of performance students should attain, descriptions of performance at each level, and rules that enable educators to determine whether students have reached a given level?
• Do the performance standards include a range of work . . . to show that students can meet the standards in a variety of ways?
The performance standards describe how well students perform at various points on an educational development continuum. This continuum shows how students can demonstrate mastery of progressively more difficult content and cognitive skills over ten incremental stages of development. Performance within each stage can be assessed by the extent to which students are meeting the standards (i.e., starting, approaching, meeting, exceeding). Performance standards include four essential elements: performance descriptors, performance levels, assessment tasks, and performance examples.
The performance standards are classroom resources for voluntary use at the local level. They are not intended to replace the Illinois Learning Standards. Instead, they supplement them by providing sufficient detail and examples to enable teachers to establish appropriate grade-level performance expectations for students. The performance descriptors are a direct outgrowth of the state goals for learning. Whereas the benchmarks filled in detail on each of the standards at five grade-level clusters, the performance descriptors provide additional detail at each grade level.
Definitions
performance standards: the knowledge and skills that students are to perform at various stages of educational development (performance descriptors) and the performance expectations (performance levels and assessment tasks) for student work (performance exemplars) at each of the stages.
performance descriptors: statements of how students can demonstrate the knowledge and skills they acquired.
performance levels: descriptions of how well students have achieved the standards; that is, the range, frequency, facility, depth, creativity, and/or quality of the knowledge and skills they acquired. Students can demonstrate levels of achieving performance standards along six dimensions:
assessment tasks: descriptions of what students can do to demonstrate they have met the standards and a means for evaluating the levels of their performance.
performance examples: student work samples resulting from the classroom-based assessment tasks that illustrate performance levels.
Template For Expanded Performance Descriptors
Vision for English Language Arts Performance
An important aim of education from kindergarten through twelfth grade is to help every student learn to use language effectively, both as a tool for communicating and as an instrument for thinking, learning, and imagining. Guided by the Illinois Goals and Learning Standards, instruction in the English language arts is designed to help students become strong readers and writers, help them learn to speak and listen effectively, and help them develop skills as investigators capable of undertaking their own research.
Over the course of their schooling, students who meet the Illinois Learning Standards become increasingly skillful in their ability to read with understanding and fluency. By the end of twelfth grade, students who meet these standards can read relatively complex and demanding material for a variety of purposes. They can analyze new words and interpret their meanings on the basis of the components of the words themselves and the contexts in which the words appear. Students can also relate their previous knowledge to new information encountered in their reading, and they can use questions and predictions to guide their reading of particularly complex material. Their ability to read effectively includes the ability to use tables, graphs, and maps as well as text to acquire information and to evaluate arguments.
Students can also direct their reading ability to the reading and study of literature. They can analyze various elements of particular literary works, such as character, plot, conflict, theme, and setting. They can make appropriate inferences that enable them to interpret key themes in specific literary works. They can use insight gained from their reading of literature to enrich their understanding of their own cultures and individual lives, and to deepen their understanding of the cultures and individual lives of others, both past and present.
By the end of twelfth grade, students meeting the Illinois Learning Standards can also write and speak effectively for a range of purposes and in a variety of situations. Students can communicate information and ideas in narrative, expository, and persuasive writing, producing grammatically correct documents using available technology. They can write effectively in a variety of academic settings and in actual, or potentially real, work-related and civic contexts. Students meeting the Illinois Learning Standards can also speak and listen effectively. They can comprehend and evaluate a speaker's verbal and nonverbal messages, and they can analyze and synthesize the spoken messages they hear. They can also deliver planned and impromptu presentations, use both verbal and nonverbal strategies for maintaining communication and resolving conflict, and participate effectively in discussions and collaborative work.
Finally, students who meet the Illinois Learning Standards can use their linguistic ability to acquire and assess information and to communicate the results of their inquiries. They can formulate a research plan, gather appropriate information, and analyze, evaluate, and synthesize the information they gather. They can communicate their findings and their own ideas effectively, supporting and defending a thesis by drawing information from appropriate sources and by offering evidence suited to the purpose and audience of the project at hand.
English language arts instruction seeks to tap the basic human capacity for learning and using language. In this key respect, the language arts are interwoven. Learning in one sphere (e.g., listening or reading) often supports learning in another (e.g., speaking or writing). People vary in the support they need as they develop specific skills in speaking, listening, reading, and writing. English language arts instruction must be especially attuned to providing appropriate support for students with special needs. People also vary in how they use their capacity for language, and this variation is often best understood as variation in cultural, social, and personal identity. The aim of English language arts instruction is not to eliminate or reduce the richness of linguistic diversity. Rather, the aim is to help students develop confident control over language as a powerful tool for comprehending, exploring, and communicating ideas in school and beyond, for succeeding in advanced study, for performing well in one's work, for contributing in civic and work-related arenas, and, most generally, for living a thoughtful and productive life.
END OF THIS SECTION…
HA! That wasn’t bad was it? Uh huh. I bet you didn’t read it … ok so I haven’t yet either, but I WILL! Most likely when I get back to the office tomorrow if there is time to work on this project. I am back from my meeting out in Elgin … like 38 miles West of here, but I didn’t make it to Dr. Marvin’s … where I cut back toward home I was about 20 minutes in good traffic away with 35 minutes to go. But, the traffic wasn’t good AND I hit the empty marker where the light comes on again in my gas tank. I had gotten $7.25 of quarters from Rich’s dresser and had $4.00, plus I found $2.00 in change in the car. There were no tolls so I put $5 in the car … I needed to save $6.50 for Dr. M’s parking so in total that meant I had $13.25 and needed to spend $11.50 so I had only $1.75 for emergency gas money … which now days doesn’t pay for a gallon of gas. It only pays for about 12 miles. I had farther than that to go to Dr. M.’s and back. Anyway … that’s the figuring. I did really well with setting myself not to stop at the BK when I got home, but coming down the last stretch, I’d forgotten about how good a seafood sub would taste since sweetie was going to be gone all night and there was only soup left. So of the available $8.25 … $5.95 got wasted on dinner and the rest got returned to the car’s change.
So that’s the end of that. I thought of putting it in gas, but it wasn’t enough to fill my tank. I figured it would be better to do that once and get it over with.
The gas usually lasts 11 or 12 days. Nothing lasts though if I’m hungry.
I guess Dr. Marvin isn’t going to call me back. I left him 2 phone messages and one email, it’s now 9 minutes into session time, so I’m guessing he knows what’s going on. I didn’t want to contact him a fourth time … figured he knew … last time this happened I had hoped so much that he would call I got cranky when he didn’t I have to watch that this time. I think we are going to pursue another conversation.
The meeting went ok … I rather liked it. The State of IL was making a 2 hour presentation all over the state … they had like 2-3 session each day they had a meeting. I got in near the front of them meeting and I went far enough west that I avoided all the inevitable crowd from Chicago. Most people put off so I didn’t face crowds. There were only 4 of us at the meeting, plus the presenter and someone that he was working with … who took several notes from us as a means of improving the system they were working on.
Basically, the State now has a site where they’ve added information on all the Providers across the state. That means anyone that works with disabled people have their business in their program and after we get registered and obtain a password, we can update information about our center. It’s really limited as to our use, but very beneficial for the State Pas agency – ours is the CSO we’re always talking about … They can look at the site and search which programs have vacancies and they can also see which programs are thinking about developing new programs or centers.
The whole thing is though that I had no idea they didn’t have this kind of thing.
It’s like the PAS agencies and state are just catching up with the 21rst century.
Nonetheless I’m happy for them. Rah-Rah! Hehhe. One other lady was a provider like me, and the other two women were PAS agents, so between the four of us it was really a nice tight cozy deal and we were good question askers. Three times the guy taking notes from the state said, “Ok that’s a good idea” to things we were saying – loopholes we’d found. So, that made it kind of fun. It was all real friendly though and you can tell these people had put a lot into the project. The meeting only lasted 1 ½ hours since it was so small so that was nice too.
Hmm, the surgeon people just called back. Man those people are good. They’ve called back quite a few times. I wasn’t aware of having left any more than two messages there. I knew the answer to the first question, so I asked a second question. The first was about the information meeting. They said that since I’d already seen the Dr. that I didn’t have to go, so they took me off the appt. for the 3rd. The second question was about all those tests I needed to do. I guess the first things I have to do is the pulmonary tests and the psychology tests, and then those go back to the surgery people and if they accept, then they send it on to the insurance agency and somewhere in there the surgery place sets up the other tests and sets the surgery date.
I have to keep going to these other appointments for the nutrition too, because the insurance company is going to want to see that. I’ve got an appointment to see the psychologist I think on the 12th … that’s one week (on a Wed.) after the other appts. I could have really used the meeting time with Dr. Marvin today. I just couldn’t get motivated to leave any earlier than I had. I feel bad about that. If I could have I would have made both meetings. The surgeon said to make sure I made all the meetings. I think I have to show I’m responsible.
Hmm, just took a break to be over at OH for a few. I responded to an email and I looked at a couple of people’s sites. I like when they keep a blog or a “My Story.” I really will read these if I get to know you … so WRITE! Hehehe
Ok. That’s about enough of that.
I’ve been over to the chat room for a while. They got pretty graphic into swallowing something pretty obvious for the reason of protein, which was not something I wanted to listen to. But, there was a long discussion of other healthy stuff to be hearing. They were going over experiences with different foods and what happens at various stages.
I’m trying not to get into various personalities here, but it’s my natural bent … tonight there was a wealthy lady who spent a lot of money at spas who was 3 weeks out and one woman who had talked about her concern that no one had told her she’d turn into a ravin sex machine. She stated, “holy freakin Moses!” I thought that was funny. There was another woman who didn’t seem to get much support from her family or friends, but she was 4 weeks out and doing great although she had med concerns and she was told to her dismay it might be 3-4 weeks before she could really drink a real glass of water again. Those were all new people.
One of my favorites was in. She had her lap done 2 years ago. And, there was a sighting of one I met the first week who gave good advice. He said he’d have his two year surgery appt Feb 5th. My best buddy stopped in … but she was in and out in a short time and we weren’t doing any talking in the room … she didn’t seem to say much either. There was another we’d met who was going to have surgery on Dec 10th.
She was struggling with the fridge and being on a liquid diet. We’ve got that to look forward to as well.
I think I told you there was a food part that we were trying to watch over too. Tonight we learned that soft food includes lunch meat, moist chicken or pureed, baby food, eggs, fish, tuna, ets. We learned that when people plateaued one idea was to go back to liquids for a week and then go through the food phases again. We would need to keep our carbs down to under 15, and if we went over 20, we would dump. And, lastly if all else failed, we were to eat cheese.
Hmm, that’s my full report tonight. Well, actually its my first report, but it doesn’t seem too excessive. Does it? I figure I better be headed for bed. It’s now after 8:30 pm … Pretty excessive for me … See you in the am. Take care!
Short Sprint
Good morning, this is me. WooHoo … Group was cancelled for today! Shoot, this isn’t very professional yet is it. Damn. We’re working on it. Basically, any time I can get to be working on things at my own pace rather than structured … I’m like all for that. It’s the same problems as usual. I have problems concentrating.
When I get into things I’m good, but getting there is terrible. Yesterday, we finally did get into work, but not the work, we’d planned. We got a book in our mail and we read about 50 pages of it because it had to do with learning and that was what we were concentrating on. We were still trying to make sense of the CR information. We had gone from there from reading more information from the IL State Department of Education and our old Program Development Guide. We’re trying to mix all that with the new information coming in from the CR. I think this is like being in Zoo-loo land.
As to being weight conscious – we did ok until about 2:30 pm. We didn’t have our third fruit and we started thinking excessively about the candy bars for sale up front. We ended up eating two of them. We then grabbed 4 pieces of taffy candy on the way out thinking it would prevent us from eating a third chocolate. When we got home we were crazy hungry. We took both containers of leftovers from Sunday T-day and finished them off. It was more than we should have had, especially in the amount of Sweet potatoes with marshmallows and brown sugar we were eating. We didn’t have anything after that, except a diet lemonade slushie.
This morning we had two bananas, ate a full bowl of cereal, and brought 3 fruit.
The bananas were small, but it is still overeating. I’m not managing the quantity of cereal well. I think that I get frustrated with the pressures that I’m feeling … like having to switch over for work and such. Even though now I am doing the switchover more gradually with the blogging. I feel these things as a great amount of stress. I worry about what I am going to do with the stress coping after the operation if I’m not eating … could there be something else? I don’t know … I will look forward to my next meeting with Dr. Marvin. We’ll need to talk more about this. *Sigh* But, we’ll need to take care of ordering the medicine through the mail order too. It seems like it’s a go with Sweetie too. He asked about it this morning.
Ok, on to the work blog – trying to keep the OH blog short. We can do this, right?
Oh one more thing. We did spend about 50 minutes in the room this morning. We spoke to a few people we’re familiar with. During the last part, we more listened and didn’t feel part of the conversation. I need to work with feeling more comfortable with being me.
Ok, that’s been posted over to the OH blog. Now for the continuation to the regular blog. We’re going to need focusing on setting our agenda for the day and then doing what we’re supposed to be doing. I think it would be a good idea to get in some work at Maria’s group as long as we don’t have to do Sue’s CIRCLES group this afternoon. Hmm, why wasn’t using this morning too? Maybe I should set a couple of goals. I could do Maria’s group at 10-11:15 am. Then I could go back to that always pending goals and annual of C. wouldn’t that be something if I could get it done? No excuse in that I have an entire afternoon to get the work done. Tomorrow is an off day, in that I have the meeting in Elgin to go to. It’s between 10-12.
Today I might try to get directions. I also have to check on some medical appointments. There have been messages left on my recorder. There are 3 doctor offices that have left messages on my machines, but they left hard to hear names, not the doctor’s offices names themselves, so I’m not sure all who has called. I will wait though until after 9 am – it’s 8:30 am now.
Hmm, what else for today … Think we could do two observations, but is that too much? Probably … better to do one at a time and wait for the surprises. We still are way behind in the recording of the sessions. I’m backed up with the DSP Chrononotes. Ok, let’s not go there again. *Sigh*
So, are we going to gift ourselves the next 1 ½ hours to be doing freelance work?
Jeese … I can’t believe you get by with this. It should be a crime. Maybe I should go back into the IL State Education site. I’m thinking that I’m going to have to get a bigger handle on things.
Ahh Ava Maria – by Jewel … it’s beautiful.
Ok … I’m going in there for the big stuff … doing work.
Finding our Groove
Good morning. It’s me. I ddn’t go to the chat room yesterday. I had made a rule that we couldn’t go during the day and then when we got home the ones who watch the “star” news won out until Sweetie came home. We had dinner, watched a show, and then umm made merry. Ahh that be the holidays!
I had problems over eating when I first got home – I ate a few pieces of turkey and a couple of spoonfuls of sweet potatoes while waiting for sweetie. But, I did well in turning down the temptation to eat on of Sr.’s fundraiser candy bars and we didn’t stop by at BK while we had $4 in our car. So, that was good. This morning we had a banana, which is normal first thing, but didn’t feel like eating our regular large bowl of cereal. We had another chance 15 minutes before leaving, but decided we weren’t up to it. We also noted that two fruits seemed enough for daytime snacks instead of doubling up on either an orange or an apple. This is of course in addition to the sandwich. We’ll see how it goes. Also, we were going to hold up on the pop, but we got a diet coke anyway. We haven’t adjusted yet to getting water. We did ask sweetie to pick up 6-12 waters at the store. We told him we’d fill up the bottles after that with tap water, but we needed some bottles. He was agreeable to that. We’ll see.
I think that is about it for the diet happenings this morning. Let me think … anything else? I don’t think so … we are going to write a little in our blog before getting started at work. We have a few things we would really like to get done today. We would like to:
1) Do some blogging (7:40-9:00 am)
2) Prepare the CIRCLES lessons for the week (9:00-9:45 am)
3) Complete C’s annual, goals, and goals and objectives sheets (9:45-10:30 am &
2 pm – 4 pm)
4) Meet with Group III for CIRCLES (10:30-11:15 am)
5) Meet with Group III for observations to the Chronological Report (CR) (12:00-1:30 pm)
6) Stay for overtime to enter information to the CR (4:00-6:00 pm)
Ok, that’s good for me. Would be a good work day … let’s start!
Hmm good. This first part before this sentence got posted to the OH site too. Now there is 45 minutes.
Hmm, we’ just stepped in for something going on with some of the individuals in the Leadership group. There are a few that have been working out in the community for holiday season, but they’ve been bickering between themselves. I don’t think they have enough structured time to be taking care of their anxieties and they are trying to dump on each other. And, then they are unstructured first thing in the morning when their staff is watching the doors up at the front end. So they just go on and on talking until they are crabbing at each other, because they both want to be in charge. The DSP talked to them before she left and she stopped in here now asking about it, but in the meantime, I listened to the clients and basically I figured that they just have too much unstructured time to be worrying over things. So I told them to get out something to work on. We’ll talk to the DSP more about structured time later … they need time to discuss their concerns that are business related while at the center, so they don’t have to take care of all that on the phone where there are too many opportunities to disagree. I heard the clients trying to organize like who would sit where in the van – things like that that are a big deal to them are things that should be handled by the staff, or basically, not a concern – I think it is saying that they are after some kind of pecking order and a sense of control. Maybe they feel that loss by being out in the community even though supervised by a job coach.
But, for now it is over because they’ve shut the door and the DSP is trying to figure it out.
I’m going back over the CR yesterday with K. I think it really works. The biggest thing is the Outline. It is taking all the clues and directing a plan of attack. I wonder how that would work on a spread sheet. Hold on.
Ok, that is interesting … it doesn’t switch over well from the Word document of the Notes, but it does copy well from the Word – written part – the first copy. It keeps the indentation. I think it would be easier to manipulate and gather information for all the individuals if I could keep it on the spreadsheets. How would that work? I think we’re going to need testing for some of the other people like from group I or group II to see if it still works well in outline form. I need to check per group and then per center as to if things are fitting together. For example, will everybody need to be tested for Words, Letters, Colors, and Alignment? It would seem these things affect others so become tools that would be needed at each of the levels. It’s hard to say right now, what’s happening at each of the levels.
Hmm, maybe we should have a master copy of all the skills and whatever else we’re going to track in the outline, but keep things more simple in the individuals char as to what they are working on. Then the DSPs can check the progress compared to the Center’s development of any given series. It might be a good idea to keep together the program areas in the outline, but I don’t know how it would go in that they cross over – like tracing, coloring, and stacking could be in math, English, or art. That’s sort of Sister’s point in the beginning that we could learn from natural circumstances. The “checks for” section seems specific to each individual too, although some like needs to achieve competence and confidence could carry over to many clients – so should be included on a master list of things that could be of concern. Same would go with “Encourage with” that could be unique or cross over to many.
In a sense, I think we are creating a list such as through the DSP Training book that categorized things in social skills, or listening, or whatever. That might have to be checked. I’m going to see if there is an extra copy in the staff training room, hold on.
Ok, It's now 4 pm and we're to the point of posting because it is time to go home. Plans always change, especially when you are in avoidance. I didn't make myself do the harder annual, et al. I did do the group and I did a 15 minute goal with a client. But, then I got into going through information from one of the program guides I'd made for the DSPs about 4 years ago. Although the material is old, I am finding that they are still using it just not down the line ... it is random. Two of the DSPs had their books at home to make lesson plans and one is on a long materinty leave. I might ask sister to have Rosa make up a couple of copies, but then again I would like to do something else. Trying to understand what the state is doing would teach me a lot on education curriculum, but I'm getting blown away with it. I think I have to spend more time with it at home. Then I finally after a couple of days checked my mail up front. I found that there was a book there that was one of five books sent to me as a member of the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development. It's the most amazing timing.
The book is called, "Getting to Got it! Helping Struggling Students Lean How to Learn." So, I started to read that up until a few moments ago ... about 50 pages of 150 ... theoretically, I could finish it tonight, but I would like to stop by at the group tonight ... Rich is gone. He was here for a while, but not very communicative. Sister is blaming him for not having enough payroll. I feel responsible because I'm not working on the grants. He's going to be out until about 8 pm. He was the one that recommended that I go home. I think I just might try that. Just need to pick up my desks. So, so ... I will be back later ... bye
WooHoo Got through first day back 19 left!!!
Good morning. This is me. It is already 10 am, so I’m at a point of some confusion. I think that most people here at work have been working for at least a couple of hours, but we’ve been floating around. Beside checking the diabetes blood glucose numbers on one of our clients … not much work has gotten done. A good part of our time has been spent going over things at the OH site. There is nothing that has to be done over there, so we’re just being obsessive. We are rechecking and rechecking our work. We have made a commitment not to go into the chat room, but we have to focus on something other than the site too.
For now we have both the OH site and AMW from blogger open … it’s containing a larger world for us. We also tried putting on lounge Christmas music trying to settle our nerves. We’ve got a staffing this afternoon and that’s making me nervous too. We have to supervise the new Q, but we are not overly familiar with the client. She was one of Holly’s and the mother can be tough. Sometimes she’ll put out a different face than the one she’s thinking, so is very hard to read. God Bless us. Let’s just get through that one. We’ll be very laid back.
I should be doing other things I suppose. I will need to get back into the rooms, but I should have done that 15 minutes ago if I were going. I did some work on Group IV on Wednesday before the dinner while I was watching that group for a missing staff. I’ve got to do Group III and Leadership group this week. Three will be a toughy … certainly not for Monday morning … perhaps tomorrow afternoon after lunch. Then leadership on Thursday morning when there is a bigger group in there.
Ok, that is a plan.
No there are a few more other things that need to get done. But, we don’t want to go there yet. Hmm, this is not good … we’re a little gassy this morning … went to the washroom and on the way Kathy the CSO person wanted to chat about Thanksgiving.
I think if a person has her hand on the bathroom door it is unfair to ask how the holiday was. We came back and thought oh dear it is a little campy and she’s going to visit, so we lit our cinnamon candle. But, I’m not feeling real good yet.
That’s the second or third trip to the powder room. Hmm
Ok, we’re in for a break here, right? I’m thinking I should eat one of my oranges because it is 10:30 am, but my stomach is saying umm, do you really want to chance that? No, not really ma’am.
Ok, we’ve got to clear our mind here … surely there is something more substantial we should be thinking. I’m really hanging onto the holiday … I can’t believe its over. I wonder how long before Christmas break … let’s peak. WooHOOO found the schedule. It says that we have our last day on December 21 … then it is a weekend, five days, a weekend, and two more days … says we go back on January 2nd. That means 11 days!!!!! OH MAN OH MAN I can hardly wait 11 day vacation!!! We’ll come back on a Wednesday. Now how many days before then? AHA! 25 days … less than a month … surely I can do that … especially since there will be 3 weekends in there or another 6 days off … so all in all 19 days of work, right? Well 20 days including today. That should be easy to remember … So like 4 weeks and then we’re off. Oh Man I can hardly wait.
Ok, I feel better framing that in. Just four more weeks. I should then be doing some goals. I didn’t do so good with the goals of bringing work home and doing it over the weekend. I know I just have to get it started and I didn’t make that goal. I got it to the living room, but didn’t work out the logistics of sending home the program worksheet to have continued it. It just got too hairy on the last day and then there was the dinner, and then I didn’t come back.
Ok, there has to be some major goals.
• Let’s say two visits each to each of the five classrooms. 3 visits to the two I haven’t gotten in – well, maybe just two … time’s gone by
• Finish Candice’s 5 Qnotes – hmm, maybe 6 … that will have to be checked
• Finish 3 annuals and goals from our list
• Finish the staff training schedule
• Complete Qnotes for November and December
• Enter as much data as possible to the Chronological report
• Complete meetings for staff training, Thinking Group and Circles and any
additional staffing for the trainee
• Anything else that comes up
• Check on CARF advancement
• Go through loose papers in our in-box
• Correct the pre-tests before Thursday
Ok, is that about it? Let’s think here. 4 weeks to do all that … Is it possible?
Hmm, probably, but we’d have to be tough with ourselves. And, we need to check on Dr. schedules. Think there is one coming up on the 3rd of December and another 2 on December 5th. That’s not until next week. Ok, we’re good on that, but we should make a list of appointments as soon as we get the schedules – loose back to the office – or if we type at home and email back here for printing. Think there is a few other things we need to confirm. Two people the psych doctor and the surgery nurses responsible for the December 17th meeting haven’t called back. I don’t know where those numbers are, but probably at home. We should check numbers and type up on list.
It’s 10:50 am now … anything need to be done now? What’s like first of the priorities. And, no … you can’t do just the fun things first. That’s why we left home that envelope of stuff that we took home … the things for the CR (Chronological Report) are like the fun things to be doing – consuming of time, but more fun than other stuff. Let’s see hottest for today would be what? Maybe one Qnote from Candice’s and 1 client from our list – maybe finish Charles’ I think he has two goals completed. Anything else? I think Rich is going to be home today, we’ll check that later on. If I could get those two things done that would be a good show of faith, hmm? Any complications beside the staffing? Visit is tomorrow afternoon. We will have to set up the next circles meeting for tomorrow. Staff training schedule could be sticking, but needs a day to figure out … more if we complicate it by setting it to real objectives … like where are they going to come from? Hmm … too much to think of now … have to keep our eye on the pre-test correction those like the general plan for the week on circles are sneaky ones. If there is time this afternoon we can work on the CIRCLES for the week, otherwise that will have to be done tomorrow morning before 10:30 am. *sigh* Ok, nothing else of high priority.
It’s hard to say which is more important between my stuff and Candice’s. I told her I would do her things, but mind should have been done already. Best to work on it side by side first one of hers, then mine, etc. DSPs will be waiting for mine though too … better shoot to get them done soon. Maybe, I should hold back on Candice’s Qnotes and aim to have all 3 of my people finished this week? That way they could all start on goals by First week of December next week. Ok, good. This is the kind of thinking that we have to do. So, first goal is to finish 3 annuals and goals from our list, work in meetings and visits as they come up, and then finish Candice’s Qnotes. Let’s see what’s next. Continue visits and meetings, and by next week we should go through the loose papers in our in-box – Be nice to work on the staff training schedule on week 3 … aiming of course to finish Candice’s work next week – maybe longer, because of the Doctor’s meetings. That means saving November and December Qnotes – mine until 4th week right before break. And, then things like preparation for CARF and typing up CR stuff will need to go home for Christmas break.
Ok, let’s review … did that all then just get in?
Ok, I think that about does it. Now the question is if we get done with that week’s tasks – do we go on to the next week or do we get time to do the CR stuff. Sure be nice to have the basics done and confirmed before the holiday, but the CR stuff is motivating to us. It’s kind of fun to think through. Don’t want to lose a handle to that. Problem is that it’s unending. And, we still need to figure out how to make it useable. Let’s look into that now just for a moment … 20 minutes to lunch.
It seems to validate why we are in the DSPs room – to get information to add to the bigger picture. I would like to include work now from Holly’s and Candice’s caseload … and print up a big master list before the holiday. I don’t think we can just let it go. It needs ongoing work. Maybe what we’ll do is that we’ll save it for the times that we are working overtime, which is anytime after 4 pm – up to 6:30 pm where Rich has got a game. That would give it time, but not be excessive on the load space we need for the regular work, right? Check it out?
Hmm, back again. I put just in a few moments … 10 minutes to lunch … not like we have to eat then, but in trying to structure stuff. I think where we left off with the CR is that we need to summarize or outline the content. I’m not sure. It seems that the more responses we get down, the more likely we will be in trying to figure out what it is that we are trying to do with the many task at hand. I don’t want to get stuck with what I don’t see; because that would be too big … we’re just doing a sample. Maybe not random but yes in that I don’t know what’s going on in the groups. Close enough. I think it’s good that everything is being viewed through one set of eyes … it allows for some norming. We need to adjust to differences in categorizing as we go to allow for new insights.
Ok, let’s just look for a second … we have 3 people who worked with blocks. 2 were unable to line blocks in rows and needed high assistance, and the third was able to line the blocks in rows, but did it with high assistance due to low personal effort. So with the first it was more ability and with the third it could have been from an attitude. The third individual was also able to count 80% of the blocks where the first two did not.
So, the point would next be … looking at the block “test.” What can we surmise from it?
• The individuals did not understand the task
o Due to difficulty discerning colors
o Due to difficulty understanding rows –
o Due to difficulty understanding the task of repeating or modeling
o Due to language barrier
o Due to lack of effort or interest
o Due to teaching method – expectation without teaching
o Due to distraction
o Due to learned helplessness
o Due to need for direct assistance
o Due difficulty following instructions (comprehension – thoughts)
Wow … just went through an interesting set of thoughts. I had added the above
thoughts as to why the individuals could not complete the task. We are still missing the educational leap that we’re asking them to make … I wonder if we could figure that out by going back to the state requirements in learning. What does the ability of stacking objects teach us? That might give us an academic bridge.
The other thing that we did was that we went over and pulled out all the records that belonged with one of the three clients. We looked at the third one who needed a lot of coaching but had completed the arrangement exercise. The point is we gave her an instruction and without assistance it wouldn’t have gotten done. I can now look at these other things and find that she is much better as a room monitor than in working on personal tasks.
Summary of K 10/30/2007
Ann M. Garvey, QMRP
She can remember words and She can identify letters (80%), and She can independently walk for 15 minutes and perform other light housekeeping tasks, but She needed high assistance with simple activity manipulations, such as tracing/coloring a leaf and stacking blocks, which both needed eye hand coordination. She showed difficulty following instructions, needed direct assistance, appeared helpless, was distracted, and put forth low effort. The trouble with following directions could be auditoria, such as she could not distinguish hearing a bowl from a ball after 3 efforts. She could have trouble with colors and alignment, but those would need further testing. Things that she did well like walking, housekeeping, and volunteering could be given as encouragements. It seems like She likes to be mobile and responsible. The report also shows that She sometimes complains about her peers, which might be a distraction though it appears on the surface She can be redirected.
Test knowledge, comprehension and application of:
Words
Letters
Colors
Alignment
Provide simple manipulatives progress and improvements, such as with:
Tracing
Coloring
Stacking
Check for:
Hearing – repeat back directions
Ability to receive simple instructions
Needs for direct assistance
Needs to achieve competence and confidence
Focus – redirect complaints (especially petty peer complaints)
Need to engage at higher effort level
Encourage with:
Walks
Light Housekeeping
Volunteering
General mobility activities
Ok, we’re back. It’s now 3 pm and there is an hour left of the day. It sort of went by pretty fast. I was working on the above and then there was the meeting.
That went pretty well. There was work to do for it during the meeting, but not highly stressful. More work for Candice than for me. So, we than fiddled again with the responsiveness of the stuff and we figured that we could add the above two paragraphs to the bottom of the CR with ZZZ and ZZZZZZ prompts to sink it. I know heavy machine guns. Beside a indentation glitch, I think it will work. I think that we could restructure the outline as we progress and just add paragraph summaries. I don’t see any purpose of stretching them out. But they could be placed by ZZZ numbering one in back of the other. We could also decide to put the outline at the front of the report Not sure how that would go. It would be more direct for someone who just wants to know what to do.
Ok, I did that … it’s really a minor point, but I’m at the floating point where I don’t really want to do too much more tonight. I just need to progress things. I also need to account for the fact that I didn’t work on the annual/goal stuff for C. We’ve avoided it like the dickens. I’m thinking that isn’t too professional.
Ok, I made sure my priority list was in order. Ok, this is the same as with the diet food … I’ve got to get to the point that I do what I am thinking that has to get done. Otherwise I’m just kind of a blowhard. Yeeks that a terrible word. I wonder how much more productive I’ll be when I’m lighter on my feet. Maybe I’ll be able to think more clearly?
I don’t know … maybe I can do some immediate good and sort paperwork this half hour? Let’s try that.
Ok, lookin good … it’s just 8 minutes now … I’m going to post this with remaining time. But, at least I got through that tray and sorted it out … there’s a stack for filing in general, filing for clients, and a little stack for doing stuff. Glad I looked … I guess I got a meeting on Thursday … shheeesh, who would have guessed gotta coordinate times. Hmm, we sent home the CR notes too. Want to see if we can do this without too much trouble. I just don’t want to be duplicating records … might start new file, not sure. We’ll check. But, for now we’ve been a good girl – stayed away from OH and figure we now deserve some of that time. Gotta go bye!
Short cut
Good morning. This is me. We’re up at 5 now … so about an hour. I have to apologize. We didn’t do much writing over the last couple of days. We had written quite a bit on Friday and then we were pretty much enthralled into the world of the OH (Obesity Help) over the weekend. There were times that Rich was home, but he went out for cards Saturday afternoon, and then was out almost the entire day yesterday for a late Thanksgiving with his family.
Hmm, had an emergency pumpkin pie craving. I’m ok, I’m ok. Hmm, two kitties on the table too much. I thought Missy was out of place … Pshwoo. King Cat has my arm and center stage all staked out. Ok, I’m done talking …
The Reader's Digest Version
Good morning. It is me. It’s after Thanksgiving and we made it! WooHOO!! It’s now about 7:45. We’ll probably go watch Rich get dressed in a second and then take our medicine as he’s heading out. He has to do work this morning and we’re trying to not say the word sucky. But, we’re kinda thinking it. Not as much for us … we still have a light day, but for him because he has to do stuff that’s like thinking so close to the holiday. We’ll go into that more in a little bit, think we’re going to jump into his bed
AHA! That happened!
Now we’re back for a bit. Rich is in the kitchen now … he’s made it past shower, getting dressed, taking medicine and getting back into work. He said something about my kiss being Draculean … HMPF! I was just trying to get the right angle …
*Sigh* That be our baby cake. We are playing Christmas music this morning without earphones. This is the third day … it started after work on Wednesday. Yesterday we had music and football on in the living room and then Christmas music in the back through Rich’s radio. Plenty of sound. Yesterday was very full, but at the same time light … It will take a little time to put it back together. It’s about 8:15 am now and we have an arm full of Chief. Rich has got an extra 45 more minutes of working in the kitchen before he leaves.
There is a little underground current of energy, because as we expected … Rich wants to be “reasonable” with the food left overs. That means I have to wait until he proportions things out for me. Then he put the scale out and said that I have to have no more than 8 ounces of anything, but I can’t eat the good stuff until he gets home. Well … if I can’t have a turkey sandwich lunch the day after, then I would think the whole day just gone to waste. Reasonable, hmpf! I never had a Thanksgiving where we had to check in to open the fridgerator?!! That’s just silly. Yeah right. Besides, we’ve already figured out 6 marshmallows are just slightly more than an ounce so according to theory then we can have at least 6 ½ more ounces of them. Hmpf!
Ok, we’re still waiting for our medicine to kick in. We’re not in a strong writing mood, nor were we yesterday. We might want to get some work done today. Yeeks. I know heaven forbid. Yesterday was a hard day for Rich. He barely spoke in complete sentences. Umm, Rich, you aren’t talking, I think you’re down. He can see it in his family members, but he can’t see it in himself. Jon has dishes and clothes about the place … Rich can see that as depression, but he can’t see himself being confused in the kitchen as part of it. Not a lot of confusion, but more than him.
He didn’t talk much before, during or after dinner. Then we watched a movie and he put us to bed.
After his shower … he tried to start more problems. Maybe that is the whole think with the extra food rules. He was telling us we should be working on his stuff, and then he said something else that would tell us he was angry (but, I forgot now), and he said two more negative things. They were all said in about 8 minutes from getting dressed to sitting down to work. We were like angry at first, but then we remembered his condition. And, we just said that was a statement to provoke anger … and the next and next and next. Then we didn’t even kiss him right. I think the truth of all that is that he is used to battling with people over the holiday … we didn’t battle yesterday at all. No fights, no complaining, no nothing. Just him and his silent worries. I better go give him a hug and see if he needs more coffee.
Ahh Mission accomplished. We made a new pot. Just as I got out there he said, that I might want to make some. I thought Perfect! We’re in-sync again! He talked a little while longer. He’s being pokey around the business stuff too like he was with the food. He still thinks he is doing fine … so we’ll let him be, but you can tell when someone sits to the back of their chair and slumps so that only one hand is typing that he’s probably a bit down. BUT, there was a new development … He talked for about 6-7 sentences. This is a vast improvement from yesterday. He talked about what we’re considering cruelty to partners plan he has engaged on. He said that the last two words out of our mouth last night were “turkey sandwich??!”
He said, “No, no … you’re tired, let me put you to bed.” And, some one of many of us slumped probably all the way to the recliner. He said he would feel like a heel, because he was just going to eat a little of something to himself, so he instead grabbed the celery and cheese spread. We were willing to let that go – cuz it wasn’t that good to be 40 calories a tablespoon. Yeeks!
I think he is going to have a lite office day doing computer tasks. He’s working on a couple of quotes now … sigh not real aggressively within 20 minutes and he was still saying 7 years I can’t believe I got them after selling to them for 7 years.
Hehehe it’s just that they are letting him quote something, but it is still good.
Just that normally he doesn’t labor over that kind of point very long. Now he says he’s not going until 9:30 am. My poor baby is really pushing himself. I think the fresh air and drive will do him good. He said he didn’t do enough yesterday … He needs some errands. AHH … he’s got to stop by and pick up clothes from the dry cleaners. Maybe he should do that first while he has extra energy. Maybe I can suggest we play some cribbage later on? That’s not really a task, but he needs something to be doing concretely.
Rich thinks he made this whole dinner yesterday and it was nothing. Mostly, because of his mood, but as part of that as recognition that he’s used to serving a lot more people. I thought he did a lot yesterday. He made turkey, white potatoes, sweet potatoes, dressing, gravy, cream beans, asparagus, and cranberries, well actually I DID THE cranberry’s, but he in addition made 4 little custard cup size pies. Two were pecan and two were apple. WOOHOOO! It was a lot of food. Usually, we eat only 3 things for dinner and not most of the time dessert.
We did it sort of together, but he did all of the real work. I sat at a chair at the end of the island watching all his moves . Intermittently, I would say something to spark a conversation, but most the time I let him be … he got to be alone, but in the safety and company of me. I think that was the best I could do.
He gave me a few tasks like peeling one of the sweet potatoes, and cutting a little onion, but not too much. Mostly, he’s the kinda cook that doesn’t want anyone interfering in his work. He likes to be well timed and coordinate everything. I think it bothered him a bit because he did everything so well, but forgot about the sweet potatoes which he’d boiled for 3 hours. He ended up microwaving the marshmallows on top and before that blending the potatoes and brown sugar in the blender. It wasn’t blending, because there was no liquid in them and it seemed like it was the first and only time he really laughed. I think he knew and let go that the potatoes had sorta won out, but he stirred what was left by hand … poured it back in the pan … let me watch the timer, and WALLAH! The Sweetest potatoes you’d ever tasted! Man they were like gold!
I thought the turkey was particularly good too … he was disappointed that only some of it fell off the bone. He would have left it in for another 20 minutes. Topping the list though was dressing … It was perfect!!! He adds apples to his mixture and it has sausage in it … any other ingredients listed would get me in deep trouble I’m afraid. We get a little beggy where getting dessert comes, but can’t do much for that situation. I can appreciate he is trying to control the sweets a bit by making only one portion size pies, but it is wearing on me to come to the end of one. He’s thinking a lot of the changes that I’m going to have to go through with surgery. He say’s we get angry with him for taking food out, but at least I like him. What’s going to happen when my stomach won’t tolerate it?
Drastic measures for drastic circumstances.
Ahh, just got up for the washroom and gave our smoochie another smooch. We topped his coffee and he said this is good, I can’t get my secretary at work to do this … I said I hoped she wasn’t giving kisses too and he chuckled. That is as light-hearted as we could hope for – worth is good as gold. Hehehe … He’s making business calls so we’re thinking doing that business is picking him up. Well that and maybe a little mothering. He needs to be paid attention too. Specially, since he’s the head of a household and everyone is going through so much this year. It takes a lot to be separated from your traditions, even if they aren’t all happy. I think at times at this people remember them as being more congenial than they might have been.
I asked Rich yesterday what he remembered as different about his Thanksgiving Day, because that’s what he’d asked me. He said he missed the part where he was getting up and down to get things for people. A little more of this or a little more of that. I think it was a big deal for him to let me sit in the kitchen and quietly watch him. Well at least I thought I was being quiet. He thought I was talking all the time hehehe. Eh, that’s a typical male/female glitch.
I’m thinking he is going to pull out of this … we’ll watch over the weekends for set-backs. He still has the event coming up at his mothers. I’m glad he could do so much cooking his own way here, because it will disturb him that she cooks slightly different. It’s a big difference in his mind that he likes his sweet potatoes pureed, but his mother likes hers cubed. I didn’t, but may resort to telling him that I hadn’t complained, but in our family the sweet potatoes are whole AND they came out of a can … that’s a pretty big switch, but I knew it was him and it would be ok, because I eat everything he makes. AND, he could eat everything his mother made. I guess also there is some things going on with the bird itself. Rich likes to cook the bird until the meat falls off. His mother is more traditional in not cooking it as long … she said she would cut the meat before he got there. I think she’s thinking of mess and timing and such, and that Bud trims the bird. Rich is still thinking he was going to make the entire meal over there. I thought … uh huh, sure that’s going to happen hehehe. I know his mother is pretty sure of herself in the kitchen and wasn’t so apt to turn it over to her equally adept son. Pretty much I think because they are both stubborn and want to have things done in their way.
Rich was so strung out he said that his boys would only eat HIS sweet potatoes, well, I’m pretty sure Grandma Rich thought … there is nothing wrong with MY sweet potatoes.
They will all have to work it out. This is an unusual combination as was Chris spending the holiday with his mother at his fiancés house. It was a pretty good deal as to all that, because Rich would have had to compete with that interest. I think Chris was worried about how his mother would seek attention there, but we haven’t heard anything one way or another. Hopefully all went well and they all could see in the union of Chris and Chrissy something to be thankful for. Rich let us give the prayer last night. In all the years … we never got to do the prayer, so we were pretty unsure how it was going. We don’t remember it now, but I think we remembered our families – the kids, and how thankful we were that Rich was with us now. Oh dear … close to tears again. I better watch that!
We are still thankful … even though we like our apple pie at 5 am not 5 pm or later … hmpf!
Ok, ok shhh, shhh. It will be ok. We can make Rich this happy, right?
*sigh* ok, next?
It’s 9:30 am time for Rich to go.
Ahh, pretty close. He’s got two more calls too make. We told him that it was nice that he was back to laughing at our expense. He said that we were just waiting for him to clear out so we could get to the fridgerator. We told him he was insulting us, but that we’d take just a small peek to see what might be there. I’m pretty sure that that one small container of a serving of potatoes and dressing is gone.
He has a larger container of dressing that was made separately. That’s PLENTY enough for dinner … cuz I have to worry about our mid-morning snack coming up. I had breakfast, when? 5 am? 5:30 am? Man, who could believe I’d be this good for so long.
Hmm, we got a little bit of smooches. He’s given us the go-ahead on the Turkey sandwich … and he said there is tomato and lettuce that we shouldn’t forget about … we won’t!
WOOHOO!!! He didn’t even make it to the car … and we hit down in the fridge. Oh man I’m sure we’re evil. But, it tastes SOOO good! OHHHH MANN! Was that good! Ok, just a little sweet potato …. Pswhooooo … that is just incredibly good. We need to slow down and breathe. We’ve been into our sneaky mode. You know when you are lifting lids on the containers, you can actually think … maybe he won’t know who took this … but at this very moment I know it was me, cuz were still licking our chops. Wow … that really great stuff! We got some fresh coffee too. Pshwoo … slow down girls, slow down. I know too much sugar.
Hmm, now it is 1:11 pm I guess quite a bit of day has gone – certainly morning.
Thinking back now. After Rich ate we had stuffing and potatoes, and then about 12:30, we had a turkey sandwich. We’re good for a while now. In between there we went into the chat room. We were ok for a while, but then it got harder because the main talkers were gone and I couldn’t hold up a conversation. I had teased a guy that I was going to marry him because he had so much property, but then he stopped talking and I felt I had really blown it … so I left. Nothing much else to do … We’ll try it again later. If I see that guy again I will apologize. His name is Bob and he’s from California. He’s on a 12 step program and been good for over 26 years. He also just went through a scare with the fires in CA. Just got to be more careful.
Thought I could work on my reputation by working on my blog page over there … we added some more pictures, but don’t know how to add the backgrounds yet. Maybe we’ll look for that next.
AHA! 2:00 pm and we finally got the background and such filled out. We added one of our favorite pictures of the zoo map that we’d edited with the red arrow lines going around the parts we could walk. And then in the content area we used our pretty bronze picture that we worked hard to shad out for a background. Then we chose the mid-dark brown background. I like it pretty much. We decided the next part was to fill in the part that was listed as “My Story.” I will probably write it here and post it there. I don’t know how detailed I will be. I’m thinking that I would like to do something that encapsulated time. I would also like to do comments with the pictures. The setting allows for 50 pictures and I have about 40 on there. I went through most my collection and just took out a few favorites that aren’t invasive of anyone I know. There is one with Sweetie, but it is not too suggestive. It is him looking out on the lake.
Whoops … 5:45 pm now … better post. I lost an afternoon to fixing up the blog and writing “my story.” Then we ate dinner with our Sweetie Pie … YOU GOT IT … LEFTOVERS!!!! Oh man sooo good.
We’ll leave you here with the readers digest version of our life … have a good night.
I was born in Minneapolis, MN on Wednesday, July 18, 1959. I am now 48 years old.
My mother was 18 years old and I was her second child. My sister soon followed. I was born on a hot, uncomfortable day and they had trouble crossing town because of a parade that is held every year in Minneapolis. My first house was a small two-flat. We lived on the second floor and when I was about 1 ½ years old, my brother about 3-4 years old fell out of the porch window. After that we moved to the NE suburb of Blaine, which was about 17 miles away. It was a new development and everyone had dirt in their yard. We were one of the first four families to move in on the block and had one of the only four 2 story houses. All the other places were ranch homes.
I was abused as a child. My grandfather sexually abused me, my mother and father physically abused me and the family in its entirety was psychology, emotionally, and spiritually destructive.
That being said, you might guess that I have some issues. Our first suicidal attempt took place when we were about 11 years old. We received some help with that through a counselor, but we got through most of it by paying attention to what was going on in school and in scouting. Although, our early years we struggled trying to keep caught up, by the time we got to high school we came out of the fog decided to try applying ourselves to school seriously. We received mostly straight “As” and was in band, doing office work, and participating in volleyball, cross country skiing, and softball. We were captain of the team in two of the sports. We lived for doing well for the coaches where we couldn’t do well in our family. We were still getting hit and kicked there at 17 years of age.
By the end of my senior year something amazing happened. First, my father was hospitalized for being depressed and suicidal, and then after that my mother and father decided to get a divorce. My brother was away at school, so there was a meeting with my mother, father, sister and myself. Our parents gave the two of us a choice of which we would be living with … my sister bawled. It was one of those times in life you know you are setting precedent for the rest of your life. I saw three things … my father was stating a new view on life, where he admitted errors in bringing us up, he was on the road 3 ½ days a week, and I didn’t like the thought of moving in with my mother’s new boyfriend. So that being said, we stayed with my father and since he had my sister and us, we got the house.
That didn’t last long, because by fall of the next year, I was going to be attending college in Winona, MN 2 ½ hours south of the city. It was the most beautiful campus I ever saw, was small, and they seemed to want me. There was a lot of work in between. My father had told us my senior year that he didn’t have a penny to go toward school, but the good news was that I should be able to get a loan, because he was very poor. Was like ok. That’s not really fair, but he also said that from that point on, we would be on our own, and it wasn’t as if he had anything to say about my future, my grades, my nothing. That was excellent incentive to be moving on. I couldn’t stand the house, my family, nor anything that had happened.
I can’t say at that point I really understood the abuse. I had blocked out a lot of the sexual stuff, but not the overtones, made at every family gathering the abuse with my grandfather had stopped one Christmas when he reached around to grab my breast and I knocked him down. Well, not really that way, but close. I swung around at him, and because he was drunk, it didn’t take much to topple him. That was enough of all that. He apologized on his death bed. Hmm, that happened when I was 17 too. It was a big year.
I met the brothers – Christian before I started my actual classes at the St. Mary’s University of Minnesota. There were 3 … one was Brother Julius, Brother Jerome, and BJ for Brother John. I was in the human development program that Brother Julius taught, and I knew the other two through cross country skiing. It was a small school and the recruiter had told them about me. The brothers had groomed a trail through the bluffs around the school and they invited me to ski with them the Birkebeiner. Believe me … it’s a very long race.
I met my future husband a couple months into my freshman year. He was a senior who had taken a good handful of psychology classes. I was on the volleyball team and had met him through some of the other players who were doing intramurals. Patty had gotten me out to a basketball game with him and had said, Maury … you will like Ann, she asks lots of questions, and then turned to me and said, Ann … you will like Maury, he has all the answers. We were pretty much swept off our feet. We’d had a light romance our senior year, but it wasn’t like this. This was much more. We met in October, and by about December we were umm “messin around.”
We had talked and because of his Catholic background and me not knowing about anything serious in that nature … we tried to hold back and I never used contraception or birth control. This worked for about 3 years. For my junior year, Maury went north 6 hours to do an internship, and we decided to go to Norway because we could. My “good” grandmother was Norwegian and it was a sense of connecting – doing something important all on my own. When we got back though and he’d come down for a big intramural game, we were umm together, and got pregnant.
We were married at about 5 months pregnancy – June of 1980. My son Maury was born in November, 1980, my second son was born April 1982, and my third son was born February 1984. Umm, then we had our tubes tided. It had been ok though, because during school I was taking courses in Human development, and I thought this was a natural pause in developing some humans. Eh, it was “our line.” We lived near his parents in Chicago and Oak Park. There were many stories there. Mostly though, he was a Victorian House Painter, we helped him with the business, and we bought and sold houses that we’d live in, fix-up, and then sell.
We lived in two Oak Park houses and two Elgin houses and had 3 apartment buildings before we divorced. I can’t tell you all the reasons why … I remember that was about the time we were really going crazy and his mother was pushing him to get out of the marriage. He had also been going out without my knowledge and fallen for another woman. They moved in-together in a house bought also without my knowledge before the divorce was final.
How crazy? Pretty crazy. When Maury Pat was 4 years old I had been angry for the two older kids for terrorizing their bedroom, and I picked him up and shook him. I went downstairs and was so distraught by my behavior I opened the yellow pages and called a counselor. I started sessions immediately and have never stopped since. Another was added later who could do medications. At first they thought that I was bi-polar and depressed. I loved my kids like the dickens and was protective of them, but our energy seemed often zapped. It was better about the time of moving into the big 18 room Victorian in Elgin, because I’d gotten involved in the Boys schools and education. But, with the marriage I was being stressed because of the amount of time he was out of the house.
In 1990 I ended up in the hospital on the mental ward. I had scheduled ourselves to go back to finish school, but was going up against my husband a lot. I just remember there was a lot of anger. After about 7 weeks in the hospital, the insurance money had worn off. Money from extra apartments we’d owned were quit deeded over to other family members and my husband put me on disability with the state. The hospital said I couldn’t stay without insurance, and she said I think you are still suicidal and my best bet would be that you get out of the house by going to school. So, I left. But, things didn’t get better. I was hospitalized while at school in the hospital in Winona, and then again after my husband told me that if I went back to school he’d make sure there was a divorce, I would never see my kids, and the doors to the house would be locked.
That was the thing keeping me in the marriage. I couldn’t see how I could get out with my kids … I had no means to support them. I was afraid of my husband and he had told me and the doctors that he had wanted to kill me. I couldn’t and never did understand why. I’d never hurt my kids after that first time. I was a doting mother, and I had been his best friend.
Things got really crazy the second time hospitalized in Winona. I was put in a locked room with only a mattress. The only visitors were the two brothers Jerome and BJ. BJ brought me my slippers to protect my feet. When they visited they sat near the cold floor with me. The hospital didn’t know what to do with me. We were strange and we were suicidal. A favored brother-in-law was egged on by my sister-in-law to come up and get me. If he hadn’t come up they were going to release me to the State insane asylum. The promise he made them was that I be brought immediately to another psych ward in Chicago. He found the University of Illinois because they were reputed to be good and they accepted the Medicaid and medicare funding I was on now.
That stay was 2 months long. They had made a new diagnosis of me after meeting in a very large room with about 30 staff present. Dr. Philip Woollcott had presided and I found out from one of the male nurses I’d started relating to that I had depression and I had chronic suicidality, and I was had dissociative identity disorder. I asked Joe the nurse what that was and he said I had multiple personality disorder. He helped me piece together some of my behavior changes. I think I’d seen Sybil, but at that time I had no real knowledge that I could be like that – given a psychiatric title. I didn’t remember the story. I could handle depression – hell almost everyone has that, right? But, MPD … that was different.
The hospital was going to release me under the care of Dr. Woollcott, who I would initially see three times a week, but the condition was that I couldn’t move back in with my husband. It was decided financially the only way to do it was to move into one of the lower floor apartments on our Victorian. So my husband lived upstairs, and the kids slept up there, but would go back and forth from one household to another. For the second time in my marriage I got a job. I was a cashier at a large hardware store. That lasted, and my marriage lasted for 1 ½ years. We did the marriage counseling thing, but he’d started going to AA meetings and that’s where he met his future wife. The divorce took about 2 ½ years to finalize … I ended up with the house, which was enough to put money down on another and enough to pay for the divorce lawyer. He was crooked and took from us $18,000.
Much to the Judges dismay, Maury finally gave up the custody battle and let me have the three boys. That lasted for 3 years. I had tried to be a court reporter, and had ended up under the guidance of the state. When the court reporting didn’t work, they decided to put me in a program in Chicago – JVS. I was pretty high level, but their highest level was to teach people computers so we could become a secretary. I learned how to do word processing and was assisting the staff when I got the calling for my first REAL job. The same agency had needed someone to do payroll for the workshop portion of the program. It wasn’t much, but it was a start. I was recommended to Rich by Sean, who got the recommendation through Dianne the typing instructor.
It was a bit hairy at times, but it seemed to be working for the most part. I would catch the metra 2 blocks away from my new place with the boys, and get out at Union Station and only have to walk two blocks to the JVS I was stationed at. I worked the full 6 months that my part-time status would allow, but they didn’t want to lose me. So, they gave me the title of shipping and receiving clerk. It was more money and it was full time. That was a pretty big deal. There was something else that had happened. Rich and us fell into a relationship by the end of October that year, 1993. He was my boss and had seen me affronted by several other male relations. I think he felt protective of me, but was also interested in me because of my intelligence, which was something I didn't believe in at the time. The thing with Rich was that he was married. He told me that I wasn’t to worry about that part, that that was his part. Well, naturally it wasn’t that clean, but it was the basics. 1 ½ years into employment I became the production coordinator. I was responsible for getting the work out to 100 clients – who would be trained by 3 specialists to do the work. I shared an office with Rich, his middle man, and the payroll computer. I kept doing payroll til I left.
Basically, the end had come after many attempts of my ex to come back and change up in that he wanted the boys. It got very bad, and very expensive. I put about $20,000 on one credit card and about $10,000 on another fighting for custody and trying to put groceries on the table. Finally, we saw our accountant and he told us convincingly how bad the situation was. He said that we were going to need looking for subsidized housing. But, I swore on that trip home, to my son Maury who had accompanied me that I wouldn’t make him and his brothers live through it. Several things then happened. The boys went to live with their father, I lost the kids, the animals, the house, and my life. I had seen Dr. Woollcott for 7 years, and we’d been back to the hospital for smaller spurts, but this was too much for us and we again were back to the hospital.
By good fortune Joe the nurse was still there. What he said was basically, we were at the bottom of our life, and that there was no where else to go, but up. He said this would be a good time to go back and get our education. So, we gave up the job and boyfriend and doctor and went back to Winona. Well, mostly. The boyfriend stuck it out with us. He’d come visit about every 3-4 weeks. We still went under. The biggest problem was that the relationship that we desparately needed with the brothers fell through. BJ our favorite Christian Brother over 20 years had turned our relationship sexual with one of our younger parts.
We had another major breakdown and ended up at the Mayo clinic where they did a ECT – six times. I couldn’t remember much after that. But, I got the assistance to finish school by the good Dr. and head of the psych department. He was the one that I told about BJ and he’d made sure I got the help I needed, even though things seemed at the time to be so extreme. I didn’t know a month from graduation what I was going to do. Rich had the biggest hand in that. He convinced me that the boys needed me to be in a relationship and I needed them and he needed me and maybe I needed him. He helped me find my job and he helped me find my apartment all within about 3 days. He had done some homework.
I’ve worked now at my job for 8 years. There were a couple of hospitalizations, one when my dad and his wife died. But, things are going pretty good now. It’s been about 4 years since I was in. Dr. Woollcott was going to retire, but he hooked me up with Dr. Marvin, and we’ve been seeing him now for the last 8 years. Once a week he gives us his patient ear. I can’t stop the part about being a multiple and sometimes depressed, but he’s made life possible.
There are a couple of other things of importance. We haven’t been able to stop eating since the incidents with and the shock treatment. We went in ten years time from 140 to 330. We’ve picked up problems physically with the weight, such as diabetes, sleep apnea, cholesterol, and arthritis in our spine and knees. Because of all this, we can only walk or stand for about 3-5 minutes. This puts a serious dapper on most things that we could be doing with our life. As negative as this seems, something else happened this year. After 14 years of being Rich’s mistress, he finally broke free in April of this year. We’ve been living together since. I’ve got more reason to live than I ever have had. I love my boys and they love me. But, it is different when someone wants to live and be with you … To this I say God Bless.
Ok, if it’s weight surgery we need to survive, then that’s what’s going to happen … good luck to us, good luck to you …
... you do now see the part of living in the zoo though, right? Just things are better now.
