Ahhh rested
Good morning this is me. It’s Friday at 5 am. Good time to be up. We went to bed at 8 pm last night … and we’re up a couple of times, but nothing serious. We’re waiting on coffee now, oh and for our cat to come get his first tummy run of the morning. Hmm, here he is now. Ok, that wasn’t a big surprise. Hmm, does this happen every morning? Darn … am coughing too. Cheerio went down the wrong way … they just do that … not sure probably a union thing. If I don’t stop Rich is going to wake up and we think he needs his sleep. Ok, shhh got it under control, right?Today’s top story is that we went to Dr. Marvin’s last night. Right on schedule.
For the first 35 minutes, we just talked about some good stuff. Rich and the boys got glowing reports. Dr. Albright was reviewed and we spent too long talking about medicine because of the pills that were short. We were given another prescription by Dr. Marvin, but I don’t know if that will work. I’ve been without it for 3 pills now … we’ll see. I have to remember to go early enough to drop off those other prescriptions. Rich is going to need being gone tonight and Saturday morning, so I won’t get help there. I heard he did get those clothes that were at the laundry for so long. But, they didn’t get any farther than his trunk. Not sure what we’re going to be wearing this morning. We might need to go to a formal dress. Yeeks it’s cold out there too! Anyway … we’re off the path.
We didn’t talk too much about work either, we said that everything was going pretty good. But, by then we complained about him needing to doctor us more, because so far all we’d been doing was reporting. Yes, it goes like that. Basically, we get to these points some times where we ask for help with something harder. Harder usually hurts, but it is better for us. I think real soon here we remembered that we’d had that hard time after Rich had left on Monday. He’s pretty good at getting us to feel those moments, or helping find the parts that were going through that experience. It’s like they are almost waiting on cue. Oh you want to go from happy to miserable in about 2.3 seconds flat? Sure. Yeesh. I think we were talking about stuff that related to that nobody would talk to us or care about us. Except that it doesn’t happen in a shallow way. When this happens, we are watching the scene as has been impounded on our emotional memories. It hurts.
Dr. Marvin seems to be with us when this kinda thing happens, but then we thought he was kind of mean at the end. After it was over he asked us a question relating to whether it was the hard we were looking for. And, of course it was. We thought it had been almost sarcastic. We took a mental note we shouldn’t accuse him of not doctoring.
I don’t think that’s the way he is, but it occurred to us nonetheless.
I remember asking him why we couldn’t remember it afterward, like now … we can’t remember any of the specifics except it had to do with the way we were raised, but he said something because of the feelings hurting and not wanting to feel pain later. It seemed like a good explanation. I think we used to stay more in pain places, but that isn’t really helpful unless you have a couple of days to get yourself unstuck without the doctor. That’s really not a good place.
Even so, there is this space of seriousness that we carry within us that always knows something serious happened. Hmm, now we thought for a second of … whoops forgot already. But, you know if we could hold on to those elusive thoughts and explore them a bit, we probably would. It probably would have been a good idea for someone to talk to us … oh that was something … the sense of looking at things as they were happening or unfolding. That was something that always happened. And, then Dr. Marvin reminded us of something we’d said during the appointment with Rich where again we were looking at ourselves and observing, but not really interacting much. Hmm, like I think when we were watching him doing business at the computer.
That seems very familiar now, but we’re starting to wince so we’re going to stop.
I think we’re close to not wanting to go to work again. That’s probably not a good idea, because we have a staffing today and then a couple of meetings. That’s going to take some time. Yeeks 3 hours of meetings. Let’s try considering those as happening though and then just being over. We know because of the back to back things happening with Circles and Thinking group, that it will be over and that will be that … and we’ll make it through the last couple of hours. I think we have therapy today so we need to remember bringing extra clothes and probably staying … no … I remember now … the session is set to be at 4:30 pm., so we’re going to need leaving right away.
I’m not sure if we’re up to hard. Thinking now we left that as a bad situation. We were frustrated Tiffany, would just set our timers or have someone else do it and then she would stay down with the other trainers and talk and laugh – last time we were also frustrated for not having enough money for long-standing treatments while she used the time we were paying for to massage her peers who were whining. I think that is either going to be told to her today, or we are going to hold it in and hardly wait to get to the end. I don’t want to go any further in that direction either. It is an unpleasant space. What I would like to do the most is crawl into Rich’s space with him.
That’s not very fair to him though … he earned that tiredness. He had a rousing fishing meeting last night. He came home tired and wouldn’t let us get up and be with him. We were probably in a stupor anyway, but we would have wanted to. I think we’re going to set a timer and crawl in.
posted by Ann Marie @ 10/12/2007 06:47:00 AM
Comments: 2
