Ayn's Multiple World

I get more pathetic toward the end

Good morning. It’s me again … It’s about 5 am on a Saturday morning yoohooo!!!!

We’re free! We’re free! Well except the part of this kitty who thinks he owns us! Psheesh! He sleeps with us all night and then he wants to hold on to the good stuff first thing in the morning. ESPECIALLY, because the other Chief of the house is out of town. Hehehe yes, that’s right the boys lining up at the door. *Silly grin* Ok, ok … shhhh nuf silly stuff. Don’t you wish we had comedic powers? Ok, ok be nice!
Well, the fact is … that here we be and here we stay … until tomorrow at 11 am. Joe and us will go out for something to eat. I’m looking very forward to that.

Yesterday too we talked to Maury on the way home from work and after we’d gotten here. He’s going through some rough stuff, but that’s as far as we’ll go with it.

They are good sons. Even Thom. Just don’t know much of where he is at. Can’t help but to worry some. I take a huge consolation that he’s with Joe.

Hmm, maybe we shouldn’t start off with boys because we can’t go far, but I’ve got those mother rights to think of them top of the morning and worry just a little.



Let’s move on here k?

Ok, just wanted to say that … There’s fishyman last week. This is my sweetie pie just being himself down this long road. I love the shot. I scramble when I see him in yet another and another view that I haven’t seen before. Easily hands down he’s my favorite model right now … well that and a couple of much younger wonders! Ahh the days are not long enough…

Ok, ok now that we’re off to drifty land again. I’m not sure if I mentioned it, but Fishyman is out on another adventure this weekend. He went south this time to join his oldest son and they were going to do some cave visiting. He called for just a few moments last night when his son was out having a smoke and said that they’d spent a couple hours today and that the cave had had lights. We had asked if it were dark. I think they are going to have a couple more visits today around the area I forgot to ask him if he wanted our camera. Shoot, just thought of it now. I don’t think we’d get any pictures if his son took them. BUT, I suppose this is their adventure and not ours.



Ours is the imaginer of his adventures. Hmm, just seeing this first picture. Maybe we should open the drapes today? Let’s try that now, k?



There that is better. We told Sweetie that we were going to work on picking up the house some this weekend. I think we’re using natural house landforms for hanging about everything possible.

Hmm, ok, ok … that’s not where we want to be either. We’re feeling kind of warm … we had put on some pajamas, cuz we were cold and now my face feels flush. Yeeks and now Missy is here to whack us. That can’t be good. Hmm, avoided that trouble.

Wondering what to do here about being heated. Airs on, right? Just gotta be somewhere mentally and things will probably normalize again. Not sure what to be thinking of this morning. Anything more on our spelunker? Naw … just he had finally reached their hotel and was planning on going somewhere today. I think he said something about doing business for a few hours this morning while his son was sleeping. I wouldn’t be the one to call before 6 am though. I think spelunking can be tiring *Silly grin*

I’m really glad he got to make this trip, because he and his son will enjoy each other’s company. Rich said that his son had been really into caves when he was younger. I’m sure our boys have been to them since, probably through the Michigan trips, but I don’t think they know too much about them. I remember going to a few through girl scouts and one trip to visit our uncle. It was pretty something … and at one point they did turn off the lights to show us how inky black things could get. Yeeks! I remembered going into rooms with different color rocks and thinking the sight was absolutely beautiful. And, I remember wearing coats and seeing running water and such. The ground was pretty uneven, so I’m sure it wouldn’t be wheelchair accessible. I hope that’s something my son will do at some point – getting his girls into neat places to visit. I’m glad that Rich’s son is older, but still interested in neat stuff like his father.

Ahh … just got visited … nice ;)

Hmm, about 6:30 am now. What’s next? We must have some in-between news? Let’s see in Dr. M. news ohhh, I remember something … we’re supposed to try a new system …

WoohOOO … it’s the weekend now so that be ok. Hmm, first thing we need to figure is that the reference to trying out a new system is tied to the Paper Tiger like the one at work. We’ve got a copy of the 4.0 version here at home too. And, we’ve emptied it out so the only thing it contains is a location for the new Grant-proposal book. We are going to need thinking up some new locations and categories.

Basically, what Dr. M. was getting at is some kind of communication tool so that we are all active and involved in getting things accomplished. It might serve us then to have an “idea” place, but should that be a location or a category. At work, the locations are tied to physical drawers and such – though, there is a location for St. Rose or Sr. Theresa, so that ideas that come apparently out of the air from nowhere are given that destination. Categories are like priorities. We might want to keep that part since it is all going so well. I guess one locations then would be household, I think that’s not too broad. Silly to have a category for desk, living room, etc. Just not that much need for it. We put it household work, just to be specific. We gave it about 100 openings for the time being and set its course to be reviewed every week.

Now, what’s another location … we could have a location for blog! Blog would be like entries? That’s a lot, but I think in general the Tiger could hold as much as we gave it. Just the print-outs even on screen would be too much. We could jot down an outline though … would need to be taken on as an extra project … we’re not so much on that, especially, because some of the thoughts are hard to interpret or categorize. But, that is a general area in our life … so we’ll put it down for the moment. Let’s see and then there is … I’m not sure now about ideas, because we think about things as ideas while blogging, so we figure that location might be redundant? Almost everything we’re thinking goes through the blog, especially when sitting down to be doing the computer. But, I guess that could be sorted out. For example, we talk about Rich, but then we would want a special Rich location. Ok, one category … adventure and we’ve got Ayn’s Multiple World, Foolin around place, Grant Proposal – Dev & Ad, household work, ideas, missy and chief, Rich’s place, and work at home place. Let’s see how far we’d go so far.

Start here …

Hmm, taking another thinking break here … we were just over at the Paper Tiger figuring things out. We’ve up to this point dissected our morning post into different possible areas we could be keeping with the tiger. I’m not so sure of it all … it’s going to take some serious exploring. I haven’t really come up with its full purpose and it is more demanding that we be thinking concrete avenues of thought. We’re much more like meanderin through our thoughts without a notion ahead.

Maybe why it is good is because there is some continuity of thought … for example we’ve had three lines of Rich thoughts so far that made it to his location. The first one we refer to his picture and our appreciation of him, and then we get drifty and think of him on vacation with his son looking at caves, we drift into a memory of us in caves, and then realize we are living in his dreams. We see him with his son and then imagining him getting up this morning to do some work. Maybe if we were to go over this thought next, we might see that we are missing him a bit, because truth be told, we’re not in caves as much as we are invested in our honey.

It is kinda funny to see the three lines next to each other though, because it assures the part where without too much forethought, our mind is drifting back literally to where we are being happy or perhaps a little sad with him, or because he’s not here. That could lead up to us having some personal thoughts.

I do like the way it’s shown a little pattern. That could be useful for something.

If nothing else so that we know how often we repeat. It might also tell us that in the length of time we all are taking to get things written down, that more of us are concentrating on our friend than might imagine. We aren’t as good at listing the times things are happening. We’re better so far on noting the times we are listing things to the Paper Tiger. Hopefully with the keywords and categories and even locations, we are going to make more sense of our thought patterns, and if for no other reason, that’s something that is a good idea to do. Did we just say that?

I don’t like it that we seem a little uncomfortable now … partly because of missing our sugar-spice of life, but also because we can’t get comfortable around our body … first we’re warm, and then cold, and then sore, and then full-feeling. We don’t know whether to be sitting or moving, or getting dressed or not and so forth. If Rich we’re here he might call it having the heebie-jeebies. I can feel my back crinkling and our head thick … AHHH what happens its because we’re now an hour from taking medicine AHA! Hold on.



Ok, you got me again … we’re back showered, with meds, dressed and a fresh cup of coffee. Kitty wants a piece of this, but we’re saying noooo way! We’ve got other fish to fry. The next question would be would the brace help or hurt . I guess we should try them on for at least a bit. It’s easy to note that Sweetie Pie was helping to bury us here at the desk. He’s got all this mail added to our leftover dishes and water bottles. Maybe that is going to need being part of the plan – that we do some picking up here. Whoa let’s not get into a housecleaning project though … that be like going too fast. We’re just taking note that option is a possibility … let’s not rush!

It’s about 8:15 now. We decided because we are having such problem regulating the heat that we’d try on the new jeans we haven’t worn yet. We’re not to sure of the appearance factor, so it’s best to try them for comfort first around the home, and then think of going out. This is in recognition that although we may be cool, outside is still very hot. I hope the weather is better in Kentucky where Rich is at. Pretty sure he’s up by now and Jon’s still in bed. YEEKS! We’re slipping back girls. What should we get through next?

How about trying to go back to Dr. Marvin. The project was left over from the weekend before. Last weekend we talked some about the hypnotist. That was the agenda for last Tuesday night. It seemed to go pretty well, no surprises. There was a nice lady who sat next to us in the second row and it was nice lite chatter.

We both talked about weight loss naturally. She hadn’t been to this person before, but we had. That gave us this ease sense about the place. We had a feeling of staying up more for it, though we were going in and out of consciousness. I can remember him counting down from 10-1 and waking up feeling refreshed. I heard some of the suggestions though I won’t remember them now … there were a few toward more exercise and then some about what we were eating. I’m trying to focus this time on not eating sugar or white flour or potatoes. Same goes with greasy foods. I’ve already got the good habits of eating fruits and vegetables. I didn’t realize how strong an impact that had on us the last time, but it does. We’ve been carrying for a while 4 different fruits to work a day. We’ve probably told you this already though.

We also remember the part about doing the support exercises. That is the stuff that was written on the blue paper. We need to get into a better routine for that. He states that if you do that exercise you are about 95% sure to succeed. Hehehe yup he said it hypnotically. I’m pretty sure he said, “remember.” There was some stretching and breathing exercises and some relaxing suggestions. I know there was much more, because that part lasted about an hour, but it’s like Dr. M. hard to remember. We thought through the week that a good time to do the exercises was after lunch. I would like to think by then we’ll have this desk cleared off so be much more apt to try.

We’re marking our high weight as being 125.0 though I think it had gotten up to 128. We like nice round numbers. This morning we weighed in at 119.4. So, I think that’s a pretty good start. I wish we had a little more support on our back though. Hmm, that’s a side issue. I think we’ll feel better as we start to loose.

And, maybe that is part of another suggestion where we are supposed to be feeling more full. I do feel more full now after having breakfast an hour or so ago.

Unfortunately, what I’m feeling isn’t comfortable. Hmm, maybe an additional burden of wearing jeans after such a long time? Hmm, I think we’ll go with that. Hmm, just thought to add the category for healthy lifestyle to the Tiger. That works for us. Might border on the part for comfortability though. We’ll have to check that later. I don’t want to get over done with that. Dr. M. says we give up on a lot of projects because we make them too complicated. I’m pretty sure I’ve heard that before, especially concerning school. Ok, like let’s say it’s a process.

We’re still having problems with our knee and that we are tying to weight as well.

I’m pretty sure we stretched or twisted something because it hurts so consecutively. One thing at a time. I am thinking though that it wouldn’t be a bad idea to schedule a regular appointment with our doctor. This last one stated that it wasn’t arthritis, that we’ve pulled or stretched ligaments or something … I don’t remember because at that point we were discounting everything she said, because she repeated several times, “I don’t know.” She was the one that recommended me to our regular doctor. I thought Sheesh. A fat lotta good that all did me. If she wasn’t ready to offer Doctor stuff … why is she pretending to be in that situation. What kind of doctor says I don’t know? Don’t they have a responsibility to diagnose and treat? Eh. One way or another I should make an appointment and if it takes 3-4 weeks in getting in – it will be a mute point whether the leg is still bothering us. Seems besides emergency there is nothing else to do about it rather than lose weight. We’ll try to schedule that visit in then on Monday after we’re back at work.



What’s next? There is probably some work that we could be covering. It be a good idea to be looking forward to getting some reading and cleaning done aside the writing. I told Rich that we would advance the grant, so I would like to put some substantial time into that this afternoon and evening. Morning for writing and cleaning, tomorrow morning then writing, and then Joe’s visit, and then perhaps some more reading. I’m not sure if there is anything else I really have to do. I did bring home my scheduling book. After Sweetie gets back from his son’s visit, he’ll be going to his friend Doug’s to help him move, so we don’t expect to see him anytime soon. Chances are I will fall asleep at least for a while before he gets home.

Hmm, just added another area to the Tiger. We put down Financial. We are going to need dragging ourselves to the bank area and clear up some of this mail as toward getting the desk clean, which is the first obstacle of housecleaning in front of us. 8:45 am. Should we set some goals? I think we need to bring some dishes and water bottles into the kitchen, and then possibly empty the clean dishes from the dishwasher, and then try to clear the rest of this desk from mail. I guess that is a plan as much as anything. Why don’t we set a time limit. Thing is the timer is buried. Ok, we need to get through some clutter … we set the timer for 14 minutes.

We might want to bring back a garbage bag too. Hmm, we just added a section in the Tiger for Organizing. We can always take down locations that aren’t working. We’re still in the brainstorming process.

Hmm, have we come far enough to be thinking of Sweetie Pie yet? Any new developments there over the week? Hmm?

Ahh. Just used the washroom some definite help there!

WooHOO!! We just got a short note from our speak of the devil guy … he said, “I layed there for about 20 minutes waiting for my back rub. hmpf, then I opened my eyes and saw where I was. Obviously missing you. XXX000” Oh man … he makes my hormones rage! Hehehe then he wrote us back and asked about the grants and we told him our schedule. I wanted to see if we could turn him on by telling him and planning on doing some of the “good work stuff.” Women! We are so designing.

H

mm, good Ann … we got some picking up of the dishes … didn’t do the dishwasher though in case our Sweetie wrote back again. I think he’s done now … but, it sure is nice to hear from him and know that he is thinking of us too. Sooo, we set the alarm again … oh and we went through the smaller set of mail. I hate to think of doing the bills, but that might need to come next. Why don’t we see if we were zapped another fine from our bank. WooHOO … looks like we made it. Sweetie helped by depositing an extra $200 in the account, plus we had about $50 in checks. That being said, our account is now at a whopping $234.94. That will allow us to eat out with Joe with no problem. We’ll have to plan around eating something healthy. Maybe some kind of specialty salad. Rich made us a taco salad the other night and it was really good. I don’t think we can do the omelet’s too soon, because of our difficulty turning down the potato, pancake and syrup part. But, we can try to have a healthy salad. Joe would approve of that and us getting NO dessert. Good Joe.

Our thing now is to not spend any other money until we can pay some bills after the 15th, four days from now plus the time to get checks to register. I have to remember that we have that $500 deductible coming up on the 21rst. By Rich adding the $200 to the account … we ate up that part. Best to try and get in at least $300, plus money from the next income amount.

Hehehe Sweetie just responded back about being turned on as we were … it got a little dicey after that, but as long as his son is in the shower … no harm in imagining what I’d like to do with “the ole man!”

Ok, Sweetie … we were working on business … remember? Let’s go through some more mail. The last one was from insurance telling us about the estimate from the body repair shop and that it was going to use some reconditioned parts. That’s fine. We completed a survey given to us too. Next?

Pshwoo … got through all the mail Rich had brought up. Doctor 100, social security 104, Comcast 62, doctor 25, Capella 103, doctor 25, surgeon 50, doctor 50, doctor 63, doctor 25, Walgreens 57, dentist 50, doctor 100, electric 212, doctor 50, and then there is $200 left from my paycheck, but $170 of that goes for medicine. But, there is that $234 in the account … that will go to pay for eating out with Joe and it will have to last for the month before the next mid month check comes. Next time we will pay only 50 to social security with 900 left, still got 600 left with capella at 100 per month, 115 left with dentist, 300 left with surgeon each of the last two at 50 a month, even on Comcast and electric and walgreenes and man o man all those doctor bills … there is 4300 with upfront psychiatry bills, plus all the other ones medical bills turned into debt collectors. They each start their own little account, so we are paying on many.



I don’t know … I’ve done the best I can $800 went out to medical, plus the money from school, electric, phone and cable. School loans haven’t started yet, but that is soon in coming too. There doesn’t seem to be a way out. Thank God Rich pays for the food. I won’t starve to death. I wonder if there is some way to figure out all of which I owe and have it consolidated. Maybe we’ll have to ask Rich. That's all I can do for one day with the money ... the rest will have to wait in turn. All of these bills will go out on the 23rd after the mid-month check. The other is completely used for rent and car. I need to switch up.

Ok, that’s as far as we can go … REALLY … we sent a copy of just the above to Rich and Dr. Marvin. I think they have to realize they can’t get blood out of a turnip.

The only other logical thing would be to not go to Dr. Marvin’s, but I don’t know how reasonable that is. We’re not exactly mentally stable. But, that is costing us almost 33% a month, plus we aren’t reaching the bottom of the pit. Another 36% goes to rent and 17% that leaves 86% of the money is gone toward medical, rent, and car, plus there are the items like gas, phone, cable, insurance, and other debt. There’s nothing left to buy anything else. That is why I have to appreciate Rich so much and also why we need to do something with the grants today. We ate lunch. We had been dizzy so started with an orange and some vegetables. Then we had a sandwich and some water. We’re feeling pretty good now … except for the debt. I saw all the monies we are in debt on our credit report. We’ll never make enough to cover school and medical. We need to continue the thoughts that we’re working just to pay the life we’ve already lived. That seems kind of terrible. Just don’t know what else to do. I guess I don’t feel as if I deserve any money left out of my check. I hoard the amounts I spend on things like the kid’s periodic dinners. I probably shouldn’t have paid for Joe’s stuff either, but I’m glad I squeaked that part out.

The others are being paid and are going to have to stay in line for a long time.

I’m a terrible money manager, but need to stop beating ourselves up. Just too much … please stop!

OK OK … we’re going to try a major conversation switch. Where should we go next. I see there are a couple of directions … 4 in particular. I can continue the blog and talk about our business experiences this week – with the help of our Tiger files.

Or, we can check in on the home Tiger files, or we can do the housecleaning, or we can do the grant stuff. It’s now noon. I think the home Tiger files can wait … especially until we’re done blogging for a while. The house cleaned up would make me feel better I think. At least in anticipation of Rich coming back and in wanting the place better than it is now to work and BE with the weekend. What would we have to do and couldn’t we start on the grant book in-between? Why don’t we give that a try. Ok, us … let’s do it and be constructive.

Pshwoo … ok … maybe we need to write just a little more to make the pain go away.

We did good though … we emptied the dishwasher, filled it, and cleaned off the kitchen counter. We need to get a new garbage bag out there and one in the living room too. AND, we have to empty the kitty litter. I know our friend was voting on that one! Maybe before I get up again, I can now do something about organizing this desk … started being a problem with two keyboards.

Ok, better. I picked up the living room, but should probably do something about the four pair of shoes I own all being in back of the couch. S’pose those can go in the closet as soon as I recover. Hmm, that’s where that grant writing disk went. Hmm, well at least straightened up the shoes. I wonder who left that … oh umm forget it. There’s some more picking up to do in the back part of the kitchen and the bedrooms. Mine needs a few things put away, but the hard one will be picking up all the paper towel someone’s kitties disfavored in our absence last week. Hmpf! I need to do something with their eating area too. It’s a real mess. The floor needs to be swept, but that might be beyond my capacity. I don’t think I’ve overworked Rich there, because he’s only done it two times in the last 5 months. That’s not to say that we’ve done it that much more times, but nonetheless I think its in need of doing. Specially, since someone dropped a grape and then stepped on it. Ugh!

The bathroom needs some kind of attention too … It’s been under siege and there is no return on Rich’s room. He started bringing stuff home from his old house. It’s stacked up and in boxes and such. There is no room to move in there. We recommended containers for under the beds and we told him, we’d take down the dishes to give him more closet space up above the hangers. Probably some room in there too to stack a few boxes on the floor. I think a point too has to be made where the front hall closet can become storage. Right now it holds some “stuff” the Christmas tree, a couple of chairs and the vacuum. I bet that could help him store stuff. He could fill it all in with the exception of the last foot for the vacuum.

Every little bit helps, but hurts. I just moved a few things around. He had a stack of winter clothes on hangers lying on his bed. He needed to have that one space clean! After a while, I’ll go in and make the bed. Still got some of the areas I’m responsible for first. Next one I suppose could be the bathroom. I could do that, right? Just have to rest up. Notation too its already 1 pm. Anything else I should be thinking of besides grants? Just wish I could go from room to room and get it all done. This part of taking all day to just pick-up is driving me up a wall. I used to go for hours at a time without slowing down. Why am I so big?

Sheesh. Hmm, let’s think down another track. We just need to find room for everything. I wonder how long that stack of clean towels has been hanging around the back part of the kitchen?

Hmm, now its 3 pm and no reading has happened yet. I umm just spent $85 on something I’m not sure what I got. I think it was like 2 super savings deals. I think it involves 28 different size bags. So for the price I paid, that is like $3 a bag. Umm you do the math. It was like a game show when we called because they kept me on the line trying to sell me more and more. To make matters worse my phone was beeping because it was low on batteries and I thought I was going to be disconnected with only half an order placed. I don’t know if I got a deal or what …

I think there was … oh man I couldn’t think through all that again if I tried. What are we talking about … we placed a space bag storage pack order for $85 and all I know is that I got 28 bags, I think. Space bags are resealable bags that you put things in, and then you vaccum up the bag with your vacuum nozzle and it sucks up the air, so things take about 1/3 of the space. Yes, I’ve listened to their commercial over and over just to be sure. Hmm, here’s the service number 1-800-469-9044. Better call that after my phone recharges to see what I got.

I’ve got three corners that could be used to store riches boxes that are filled with pillows and blankets. Those are things you don’t throw away, but don’t have to use everyday either. Plus, we’ve got bunches of stuff clothes wise that should be either thrown out or shrunk. I’ve got the feeling Rich has some kind of stuff like that too because we both have high school letter jackets, various coats, and tons of off-season clothing. All of it is going to be now compressed and we’re going to place things under the bed. Hopefully that will free up the closets for other needs. I really think Rich is going to need getting another storage area, but at this point he’s starting to gather things from his old house that he would like to keep. He doesn’t have a place yet for storage. There is a little room here, a little room at Bob’s, and a little room at his mothers. I think he’s going to try avoiding the storage units although there is a nice new one just down the block. I think its going to depend on when his wife gets tired of having his extra big furniture around. I think it’s mostly a couple chairs, and a bedroom set, but also maybe a rolltop, and possibly a dining room set. We’re not sure and neither is he or his wife. Rich is slowing things down terribly because he’s not getting paperwork in. So things that could be easier are going hard. Last I heard he wanted to avoid the lawyers and just negotiate with his wife. I’m not sure, but from what I’ve heard she’s not talking to him, so I think the chances of that are all tough. I think if they could get by with it everything would go through the youngest son, and I think that’s a terrible idea. Just not fair to the kid. But, it is their family not mine, so I’m not going to mess with it, except to push periodically to get Rich slow down enough so he can take care of his formal business. He’s got to stay home a weekend, but he’s got them pretty jam packed.

But as far as the other stuff goes with the bags, I’m hoping Rich gets into the condensing. It is like him to be interested in storage products because of the nature of his work. I’m guessing he’s familiar with the concept. He’s probably going to be upset with me for buying, there’s not going to be any way around that.

My goose might get cooked.



Hmm, wasn’t that just me who had done her bills and figured I’d never have enough to live on? Oh Lordy, why does anyone leave me with money. Hmm, now I don’t feel like doing much of anything. Feel tired. Maybe if I take a nap? Couldn’t I then do something afterward being refreshed? Ok, I’m buying that. Let me lie down for awhile. Maybe get my head to stop spinning. I know there is more to clean and the grant work is not done yet. And, probably the worst thing? They told me at the end of the phone message that the order probably won’t be here for 3-4 weeks … This is just an $85 order. What the hell is up with that!?? But, by then they got your credit card. Oh man let’s not get suddenly depressed, K? We can deal … just a little nap.



7:35 we’re up … been up for about 3 hours and got a bit obsessed … This little $58 beauty was part of all that … plus we looked at every organizational tool that Stacks and Stacks the Homewares place had to offer. This included even the magazine rack attacked to the commode. Still contemplating that one for $11.99



I’m hopeless, truly hopeless. Maybe I better get my medicine … Deb sent us a picture and we’re still staring.



My evenings gone this way all together. Nothing productive has been accomplished. All the well-layed plans of mice and men and butts.
*Sigh*

posted by Ann Marie @ 8/12/2007 06:57:00 AM Comments: 0