Sunday Morning ... working it through
Good morning. This is me. It’s late on a Sunday morning. It’s already 8:25 am. Shoot … forgot to take medicine … hold on.Ahh, new coffee, some cereal, and I took my medicine. All by 8:45 am sheesh.
Soooo, what have we been up to? Rich is in the background right now … he’s in his jeans and we’ve got a comfortable summer dress on. He’s eating cereal now and in the background there is some news tv show. This is something that he likes to do, but has only had time for it one other time in the two months since he’s been here.
He had decided to take some time off to be around with me today. It’s funny though, because he’s got two calls already one from his friend to go fishing and the other from someone wanting him to do a late game. But, he stayed true … said nope to both wooHOOO. We told him though that he had to spend some of his time today going through divorce stuff. I forget what he has to do, but I know there is paperwork and decisions that he’s got to make. I’ve seen him putting off that kind of stuff before, but if you’re paying someone a gazillion dollars to work for you, you should be prompt in your responses.
I’m not going to push him though, because he’s got it in his head so he can take care of it for himself. He’s a real responsible kind of guy – though sometimes he does overbook.
I was surprised how early his friend would call him … think the call came in like 6:45 am Yeeks. It was kinda funny to see how animated Rich was … I think he looks forward to these kind of calls and I think they happen all through the day. This is the same friend Rich went fishing with on Friday and last weekend and will be going on a trip for a week in a few to Canada. I guess there is like 10 guys going from the group and some of their friends. I think Rich’s other friend is getting excited too, because Rich says he’s called or written and is starting to feel a little light-hearted. Good friends.
Last night was very nice. Rich decided to get a pizza … he knows how to do my side in veggies and his in meat so we match up as to a balance of both. I think Rich had something specific in mind he wanted to do with his extra time. Umm, we went with the general flow … Hehehe
Ok, ok … enough with that. You know we don’t give details. I don’t think we stayed up real late and he said something about doing some reading. We woke up about 1 am to use the facilities and we saw that his light was on. We went in there to turn it off thinking he had fallen to sleep with it, but turns out he was up. He had tried to go back to bed, but then had gotten up because his legs were bothering him – so while up he finished his book. Please believe me when we say that there isn’t too much this guy doesn’t do … he’s very busy. BTW – we massaged those legs and feets this morning before he got up just to make sure they were relaxed a bit. But, hunny bunny didn’t want to stay in bed … he’s an up in the morning kind of guy.
So, I think that about catches us up … one other thing I guess. We had in mind that he might watch the movie called, “Mostly Martha” with us, but that seemed too much to ask him. There was a little extra overload in that it has subtitles and I think that was too much for him to concentrate on. Plus, I think he figured out that it was mostly a female flick. BUT, I had thought he’d liked it because it was a pleasure in food glory … they were cooking gourmet foods throughout and it showed the kind of efficiency that he appreciates so much when he cooks. Eh, maybe later … I think I’ll press in on that one a little more. There is a side story that is kind of central about Martha inheriting a niece so, I’m not sure how he would think of that part, but I think he would love the Italian star next to the German Martha.
She’s like real anal, but nice and he’s like relaxed and charming. And, everywhere in between there is the preparing of food, which is like people taking care of one another. It is a good movie.
Hmm, there was a little break … we watched a little expose on Rich’s news show on Haight/Ashbury summer of free love in San Francisco. It was interesting, but a little too much on the drug culture to be really good. It talked about for the last 40 years its been going on like that in San Francisco, but that part I’m not real interested in. It seems funny though in that it seemed to be a free-runner of where we are right now in that there is so much sex and all in our media culture. Kind of sad, but on the other hand we’ve found a means of living ourselves and Rich with a sense of love outside the lines. We find ourselves like this morning just looking at him dreamily thinking how wonderful it has been to be with him as much as we are and to be waking up with him and getting tucked in most nights. Just blows me away that we’re so lucky. Feel so special to be alive in his world. *Sigh* Ok, you … stop that you’re getting over mushy AGAIN~!!
Ok, girl, breath, you can do it. Just so gosh darn happy. Man-oh-man. This is sweet.
So, with all that said, I have to ask what is next. It’s about 9:20 am. We’d like to be thinking through something with the writing, but we’re not sure where we are going next. Maybe I should check out the coffee situation. Maybe think through our day a little. Maybe get Sweetie a refill … he be the babe!
Ahh … another assertion of domesticity. Got the coffee and used the washroom, but also emptied the dishwasher and put the few stray dishes in it. There is something about Sweetie being in the house that makes me feel like keeping it up to par … just because it allows a sense of freedom and repose to have things nice for him. I just came in from the back and got a picture of the living room with him in it and the windows open and the bookshelves, and computer, and TV. I don’t know all of it at once … it really is a nice space and I’m just thrilled to pieces to be sharing it with him. He’s so absolutely cool. *Deep sigh*
Ok, I know, I know … we were going to be writing of something … probably besides Sweetie? Naw … maybe we could include him in it too … just got to order my mind and figure out who wants to talk about what next … ok, let’s concentrate here for moment please?
Hmm, just stopped at school for ½ second … there was no mail from the teacher that I’d been trying to avoid for a week or so. I had asked if there was any time left to finish the paper, but truth be told … I DON”T WANT TO WRITE THE PAPER. Ok, shhhh, just that had to be said … I don’t know why but school has to be out for now … it’s too much on our sense of stability … We’re just really really against it … even if it minds risking it for the rest of our life. I’m afraid we’re going to get stuck with the bills for this last semester and all the rest, but hopefully we’ll work with Sweetie Pie on earning the debt to be paid. It was a good experience for a while, but then became overwhelming … Maybe because we tied it together with CARF preparation, and changes with Sweetie, but that would just be making an excuse for something much more … I think one of the other things that was pushing up against all that was our problems with eating and exercising. Those priorities came much more significant. And, it seems like that isn’t just the first time it’s happened that way. I think we use one to run away from the other.
Maybe we can spend a little more time reading about the disorder with the food and in addition do some work with the book stuff. Kind of curious of how that would affect me right now … will it overwhelm too? Hmm, that was something we had to do … check our memory. It seems like we’re on about 70% capacity. We had to clean up our space at work this week. We worked it down someone but are on danger. Probably a good idea to write down a list of programs that we have on the computer – in addition, we did copy all of our document files that we figured were significant.
We had to clear the drive first and then put them on one at a time. It seems like had been on this computer that the big problem was that there was so much space used on the OneNote videos. I will probably release some of that next. It seems on the web site that we’re holding our own without losing videos without updating our account, but not sure how all that is going we’re in a state of limbo next. If I find that it might affect keeping the videos in the blog then I would update that account with my new credit card, but for now … we’ll wait. I like to see that its holding its own OFF my own computer space for those videos.
WooHOOO Sweetie walked past to use the washroom. Man-o-man this is the life. Shhh, ok, you … we’d made progress away from that area no backsliding!
Yes maam. Ok, the idea of checking the computer’s capacity is that we didn’t want anything coming between us and the collection of pages with the book stuff – ok let’s condense here Castles and Carriages – C&C hmm, that sound fine. Remember this now so we can just skip to the earlier version, ok? C&C that means that whole project of collecting almost 4 years of information in one place. AND, that has to include the pictures. We’ll have to hold space when it comes to the movies, but that is way down the line. And, again we have 2 months complete from 44 more left?
I don’t know if that is the same number we came up with last … we’re having trouble holding onto the number. Hmm, that’s another reason why this project is so important. The memory on its own let’s go of so much … When I write, I don’t feel the loss of us that comes through so many thousands of hours that just slide into nothingness. Hmm, ok, shhhh let’s not go there. Where are we at? Let’s take a look at the chapters.
Hmm, cool cool … still impressed with it as a whole. Oh … and Sweetie Pie has turned of the TV and we’re listening to 60’s music … I think that’s his favorite.
We’re looking at the collection of work for just those two months … it’s going to take a long time to be pulling out information and that’s just the beginning of it – 129 pages for two months. I think pictures spread it and we’re looking at 1 ½ margins. Two was too much and single not enough. Now Sweetie is sitting on the couch in back of us with his computer up on the coffee table. He’s figured out where to plug it in and he’s got Internet with that gizmo. I think he has to do his expense account … He gets extra money for it and that will help make his fishing trip special. I’m not sure if we are going to get to walking, that is coming up yet. Don’t want to book his day for him, but if he wants to do it that will be the special thing even if the weather is a bit humid. We’ll just have to go slower.
Think we have to 6 before the zoo closes … that means we should go by 3:30 pm I think that would be the best time … it’s 10 am now. WoohOOO we just got permission on that … He’s good with the 3:30 pm time.
I think I would rather type now … but keep getting drawn back into the other … Maybe there is something I could write about that. I am thinking now it’s the most coolest thing in the world that so many of my thoughts have been captured in their entirety … I’m glancing over an entry written Sunday, September 21, 2003 that says, “We love yo Mom, but need to get back to the game!” Our boss says, “After you get settled, I’ll need to talk to you!” And, our therapist reminds us, “I’ll see you again on Monday!” Priorities of time and nature are set by people, communities, and God.” What’s the odds that I could ever remember a thought like that brought forward four years from the past? But, it’s here! I just don’t want to ever take a risk of losing “my life.” It has to be copied out … and then distributed to the kids and Rich and Dr. Marvin and maybe a friend. That way SOMEone could publish us. Oh … we have to have important thoughts first? Hmm, damn well maybe we won’t need to be published, hehehe but it sure would make a nice show and tell for our great grandchildren? Ok, you in the future just want you to know that I love you to pieces! Go for it – Go for life with all you got! I love you!
OKKKKKK … you shhhhhhh, you’re getting silly again … I know, but it is something something isn’t it? I know, I know … but, we gotta be cool about it … just one small page at a time. I know why don’t we just take a small break to be putting down something. No? Ok, ok … you tell me what it is that you want to be writing about. I know we could find something of this time last
Hehehe … oh yeah … that was a funny day … sister had decided that within about 40 minutes we should be able to prepare and that we’d be given the Staff for staff training. We said,
“Authority is a funny thing. I wanted to present as if I were an authority on "something" and I was being given serious attention by them, but assuming the role was very, very strange. I suppose I was ready in that I was sitting in the same room with them and my vocal chords proved that they could speak. What was happening in our mind was pretty jumbly. I had to think thoughts like, "Hey you ... just present what was on the paper!" It’s here where we will remind our wonderful readers that ... WE ARE A MULTIPLE! NOTHING WORKS IN OUR MIND AS IT IS SUPPOSED TO!"
Hehehe … we were like trying to fight the shock that had overtaken us. This excerpt is from June 3, 2004. Did we make any progress to 2005?
Oh man … I was “pissed” at this time two years ago … I wrote,
“She kept getting angrier and angrier, the last fit because I’d used vacation days when I was sick. Right or Wrong, this is something that could have been passed on as a corrected process, rather than I’d been out to sabotage the center. I had thought only as far as I needed to use half a dozen vacation days before June 30 and I didn’t feel I could afford 6 sick days and add 6 more vacation days, plus you can’t save up vacation where you can save up sick. When she had turned around and saw tears, then she taunted, "We’re not going to have a pity party are we?"
One more thing ... she was insistent that I didn’t smile enough according to my peers. Apparently, they’ve been seeing me in concentration when I pass by them in the hall. She used that word, "concentration" specifically. That is no longer to be.
I am not to concentrate and walk if it means I’m not smiling. Yah, just like her?
Pshwoo. I’m getting bent out of shape again ... need to stop ... well, one more thing ... she waited until the administration meeting with my peer, the other Q and my immediate standing supervisor. Then she told them everything she had told me during my private evaluation. She stood back and listened to the other Q criticize me for the same things she had just been critical of including the all the staff wanting to now quit. It was too much.
I did the best I could with it. I’d spent almost a whole session with it and Dr. M. He was trying to help me understand that Sr. Tess is a bully, and bullies find power in attacking the people that they control. Basically, his thought is that she is feeling bad, but does not know how to process those feelings, so she picks a victim and plays that out through her. My understanding is that the only way to withstand the emotional abuse, is to not be a victim.
So, we focused on that after the meeting and found we were not as much involved emotionally as we could have been. I need to keep in mind that I am being attacked by a bully and it doesn’t mean that my work or I am a bad. This is pretty tough for an abuse survivor and multiple. We tend to adapt to the harshness of the other’s reality. But, just as now ... we’re fighting it. And, I can let it go!”
Ok, back to 2007 that one was scary … better finish this up and get on with it. Let’s find out where we were in 2006 at this time, ok?
“We’ve been somewhere important the last couple of days. We’ve been “talked to” by about everyone concerned … V, our friend, Sr. and Dr. M. They all seem to be coming to a consensus of thought. Though everyone has a different way of putting it. It’s nothing new to us … you been hearing it over and over again. We need to be more consistently working, especially at school and work. The PDA seems to help, but we’re not using it consistently yet. Last couple of work days … well never mind that. Sister Tess says she loves us … did you hear that part? I was thinking how much harder we worked while we were sharing the same office … We’re thinking now we’re going to focus on the word stamina. We figure that means the same things as Dr. W. talking about us not being able to steer the ship. Sr. says we just have to work real hard and concentrate. And, we’re supposed to concentrate on one task at a time and not start new projects.”
Also at the time we’d sent a picture to a friend because he was sick and had pictured us still smoking. We had just written a paper on creativity and we’d gone through a bad spell where we lost ourselves to the part that goes out of it. We’d found a icon for Deb and compared a friend with Joe and Dr. Marvin … because they were all in psychology and had facial hair.
I don’t think we’re past the part of not being in school yet. That won’t happen until everyone is notified and we’re getting the bills for work not finished. It’s been kind of funny going back in time. We’re having trouble holding it all together. We would like to see the points where things have change or progressed.
In the first one, we had sister’s trust, in the second one we were blowing sister away with our badness and she was determined to chastise us in front of the center’s eyes, and on the last one, she had told us she loved us, but that we needed to work harder and concentrate – not start new projects, but finish the ones we had one at a time.
I don’t think we’ve made much progress here. I see us still getting overwhelmed with all we’ve put on our plate. We were looking for ways to go forward through the papers and the PDA. I think poor sister has tried both anger and love on us and is still wondering how to get the appropriate response. It’s amazing all the time and attention good or bad she’s given me over the years. I wonder if she has any sense of time for having lived so many years. I suppose if you’re a sister you remember things like you built that building or that one or have affected so many centers.
It’s just that I think those people remember you either with a smile or frown, perhaps both, and then they move on with it. I think even if I were getting my work published it would be the same. Someone would read over this sentence … live with it for a brief second and they would then move on to be hearing something else.
What is it that we hold onto and remember? What about us is it that people will hold as who we actually are. I remember that we were having trouble when sister got angry with us and it happened a lot in the past. Now, it seems that we’ll still let her go one, but it isn’t so long … she works now more with disgust and guilt, and we’re still trying to fight it … that feeling that we’re still good people regardless of her thoughts. I am part of her life and I’m never sure how she sits on it as to if we are accepted or out of it to her distaste. Certainly, I’m not as complacent to her direction as she would like.
But, I too would wish to give something into the center and toward its future … toward the building and development of more. I think we need to get a safety deposit box. Hmm, that would be something. I wonder how much it would cost? I think we could get a special flash drive to hold the book. I would prefer to get out a hard copy, but I’m thinking that it would be pretty fat. We can’t start printing it out and we will through work, but not until I remember to get some cartridges for the new machine. Heaven knows how much that is going to cost. We did have the guts to tell Sister Theresa that we were going to need a new computer soon. That is why we got the documents copied over … plus we wanted to get all the CARF stuff somewhere safely.
Ahh … took a little break … we were feeling a little too intense. We talked to Rich for a few moments. We commented to him on how perfect he makes our living room.
*Sigh*
We also had an orange and filled up our coffee cup. Not sure where we are here … kind of feel a soft blur. I really don’t want to go one with discussion of Sister.
I do feel better about her now as a person. The mean streak that she has I think was bred into her by the way sisters live and learn to go through life. I don’t have to accept the bad parts, I can live for the good. We talked about that somewhat in the last staff training on Thursday. We were talking about power and it came out to a self-conclusion that it was like turning over the bad into the good.
Or, in affect making a half empty glass appreciated as half full. It’s if we get the things we think we want … if I don’t want a big house I’m just as satisfied as if I had one … because the happiness or whatever powerful feelings we want to collect are within us.
We’ve been a little down on Rich this week for him looking at the negative … I think he can do the other like we can sometimes … even more if we concentrate on it. We see this in the way that Rich charged into his bookkeeping after he’d watched his show. I know from the past that it is a good Weekend when he gets this kind of work done. Part of his willingness to do it, besides just that it needs to be done, is that he’s going to use the money for something he enjoys – fishing. But, looking at it positively, he can handle it. I want to make sure that Sweetie has a good life.
Last night I asked him if he were happy here with his change in life. He gave me one of those deep warm smiles and said … yes. He was happy here … that gives me the idea that I should be doing good things so that I don’t mess that up and I will always be available to him. Probably means that we should be looking into the health conscious stuff. I started yesterday … maybe if we can read and take notes it will resolve those feelings I have for wanting to write right now. It’s so strong its incredible. Maybe just the lively beat of the 60’s music. I will have to remember all of this for later.
For example, this is interesting, these people make the statement “Binging behaviors are compulsive in style, intensity, habituation, history, motivation, and difficulty to control and remediate” (Messina & Messina, 2007).
Messina, J. J. & Messina, C. M. (2007). The SEA’s tools for a recover lifestyle handling binging, compulsive, and addictive behaviors. Retrieved June 3, 2007, from http://www.coping.org/selfesteem/lifestyle/binge.htm
They say that they interfere with recovery from whatever we are being addicted to, are secret and hidden, denied, and are allowed to become an all persuasive part of our lifestyle (2007).
Basically, those behaviors are controlling us rather us controlling them and then being that become our lifestyle. I think what they aim to do is to make instead our compulsions toward a healthy lifestyle where we are concentrating on eating the right and balanced foods, maintaining health, monitor and balance our lifestyle, reduce life stress, and living a recovered lifestyle (2007). So by saying this is seems that we would have something that we are to be recovering from. That means that we’re sick? Is being compulsive being sick? Can anyone here answer that for me please? Dr. Marvin would say something nicer … he wouldn’t leave us with that kind of victim mentality, but we’re not sure how we would turn it over in our minds. I wonder if Rich would know?
Ahh, that was a great break. It’s now about noon. We were talking to our Sweetie about obsessive compulsive … he talked as compulsive was good it’s what gets us into our concentration or focus, it was when we got obsessive … obsessive meant to him hurting oneself. Like focus on dieting if you’re overweight is good, but if you do things like starvation then that would carry it into obsessive and dangerous. He talked a little more of his daughter that lead me into thinking that he’s been thinking over her bulimia more though he’s still calling it anorexic. I think in this manner of speaking that you have to balance your obsessions with other things that you need like relationships, work, etc. Maybe it is more like hobbies are good, but you still need to take care of your job. I still have the sense of being a mad scientist and totally devoted to something. I think we have parts within us that want to be there and follow diets and Flylady better than me. I think the part we were trying to figure out was the part of being sick. I think we could now turn that around to be saying that we might have behavior that is unhealthy, but that doesn’t make us the traditionally sick person. It is true that we are seeing a doctor and to him I’m a patient, but to get caught up in that mentality of being sick would put us at a disadvantage. I have a disorder in my thinking … I’m not crazy. Mostly, because there are assets within my brain that make me conscious and able to change my thoughts. I can’t change my thoughts per se being non-multiple, but I can learn to manage the situation better. Like I might always be a person with a food disorder, but that means I have something that I have to manage. Now, thinking that … let me skim over the section that we were writing. We need to set times to be working on things we are compulsive of and want … and make them just part – no all-persuasive where that is the only thing. I think I could consider my writing a compulsive … it’s definitely become part of our lifestyle, but I don’t think that it is hurting ourselves specially if we use it to improve our health and welfare. I can eat balanced meals – 4 pieces of pizza – not the whole thing. I can maintain health like getting out to walk at 3:30, we can plan and talk and try to break our resistances with Rich … I’d like to figure out how I can be an equal help to this situation, because we both have a long ways to go. We need to turn this into less high pressure and relax with it without succumbing to the damaging urges.
And, we have to realize that even if we were thin, we would have to work hard not to get back into the eating disorderly part. Hmm, just as it is … he said 5 minutes.
Time to go check him out … brb.
Oh man oh man … we’re in another period now. It’s about quarter to one and me and Sweetie Pie just been talking … we had a very nice lunch and then he got a call from his youngest son and then we talked about stuff and we’re feeling so surreal. I know I’m here, but it doesn’t seem like we were here … and we’re seeing layers and layers of stuff that’s happening that happens to maybe parts of ourselves, but we alone can’t figure it all out, but then there is some exciting new part in that Rich is giving us a sense of continuity. We finished our talk with him saying something about fishing on Thursday and I’d forgotten I guess about that, but he’s going and we were thinking hmm, that’s ok, cuz we’ll have the computer and you and then there will be sex! Good Rich, fishing, sex, computer, computer fishing, sex! Yes, I like the way this story is developing. Hehehe … we also feel a sense of our Minnesota where it might be considered very normal for the male partner to go off to the lake or woods and to be doing some he-man stuff. The only thing we’re missing and hope for someday is to meet some of Rich’s people so that they become part of my circle too and we can laugh and cry over stuff together. Yes, it might be selfish, but I have that dream.
But, first I have to be healthier. There were some directions over at the web site listed above and we might consider this into our reading. Parts of it at least, because it is a very long list of things they want you to do - 10 Steps in all. For posterity I will list them here and then review what I think is possible. Oh, and Rich? You know what he did? He unplugged his computer and he took it outside to work on the Bistro. That excites me to no end to think that it is being used properly. He then will be flooded as is his comfort in outdoor sights and sounds.
I think the feeling of be conspicuous is wearing off. Because in truth that place in the sky – remembering 3rd floor – belongs to us part of the neighborhood character. WoooHOOO!!!
Ok, you get to work … let’s be bold and take a look at the list.
In order to change an unwanted behavior you must follow the steps outlined below:
Step 1: You must make an honest assessment of your life style and behaviors and admit to yourself what behaviors you currently practice which are:
Behaviors: What behaviors I practice
Binge Behaviors: Sneaking large quantities of the wrong food for us or money in hand
Compulsive Behaviors: Impulsively wanting anything we want immediately after thinking of it.
Healthy Addictions: Working with Rich on a healthy lifestyle
Unhealthy Addictions: Reliving the sense of being out of control while we wait for someone to fix us.
Healthy Habits: Keeping journals of food and exercise – thinking of a healthy habit and then following it through – no cheating – all parts have to cooperate.
Unhealthy Habits: Not holding to the path and just lounging through life unfettered by more caring self-acts that bring progression to self and others.
Step 2: You must be willing, on your own, to want to change the unhealthy binge, compulsive, habitual and addictive behaviors. Unless you want to change the behaviors for your own sake rather than to please someone else, you will lack the strength of motivation and conviction to follow through with the decision and behaviors needed to change.
Step 3: You must be willing to admit to yourself that to change any habit or old behavior is a difficult task and you must be willing to set realistic goals for yourself.
Step 4: Once you identify the target behaviors to be changed, monitor yourself for the next month and keep a daily log of your behaviors. Each night put the log in your journal and answer the following questions for each occurrence of the target behaviors:
A. How often did you engage in the target (binge, compulsive, habit, addiction) behavior today?
B. What did you do? What were the dimensions and size of the behavior? How much time was spent on the behavior?
C. Were there other people around or were you hiding?
D. What was your emotional tone while you engaged in the behavior?
E. Was there any significant event or cue preceding your engaging in this behavior?
F. Where do you commonly engage in this behavior?
G. How do you feel after you have completed this behavior?
Step 5: After you spend a month of daily logging in these target behaviors, look for a pattern present in the behaviors and determine:
Location of behaviors, e.g., usually in home, kitchen, bar, work site, restaurant, etc.
Time of day, e.g., usually in morning, evening, at lunch, after work, etc.
Day of week, or month, e.g., on Fridays only, on pay days only, everyday, weekends only, etc.
Length of time engaged in behavior, e.g., usually thirty minutes or less, six hours or more, etc.
Emotional tone preceding engaging in the behavior, e.g., usually anxious, depressed, happy, stressed, etc.
Emotional tone after engaging in the behavior, e.g., usually guilt, remorse, fear, depression, anger, disappointment, etc.
Social environment where engaging in behavior, e.g., hiding, alone, with a specific person every time, in a social setting, etc.
Step 6: After you review the log and look for patterns, perform a behavior chain analysis on selected events to see if the patterns you identified in Step 5 can be further clarified or expanded upon.
Step 7: Now that your log, pattern analysis, and behavior chains are completed, determine which of these next corrective actions need to be taken.
A. What needs to be restructured at home, at work and in the community to reduce the ease with which you engage in these behaviors? How can you make it more difficult for yourself to engage in these behaviors? How can you block yourself from freely engaging in these behaviors?
B. What alterations need to be made in your daily, weekly and monthly schedule in order to reduce the opportunities for these target behaviors to occur?
C. What self-monitoring or social support systems do you need to establish to help control or stop thinking about engaging in these behaviors?
D. What are some rational steps you can take to alter or control the impact of the emotional cues which typically lead to these behaviors? What thought-stopping techniques do you need to use to avoid thinking about the behaviors?
E. What do you need to do to continuously remind yourself of your humanity in attempting to change habitual ways of acting so that you are not hard on yourself if you "fall off the wagon?''
F. What action plan can you set up to ensure you'll "jump back on the wagon'' after every failure?
Step 8: After answering the Step 7 issues, you are now ready to develop a plan of action to extinguish the target behavior(s). Set a realistic time frame. Be sure you have in place a support system to help you. Be sure you have ongoing review and re-evaluation steps included in your plan.
Step 9: Implement your plan of action and monitor the results.
Step 10: If still unsuccessful, go back to Step 1 and begin again.
NOTE: For more information on handling these behaviors look at Stop Self-Destructive Anger Responses in Tools for Anger Work-Out and Tempering Survival Behaviors in Tools for Handling Control.
posted by Ann Marie @ 6/04/2007 06:53:00 AM
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