Long Mostly Successful Day
Good morning. We’re waking up early at 2:30 am. This is my favorite time to wake up. I’m still chasing down yawns with sips of coffee. We had more problems with being angry yesterday, but not at our sweetie. We had the most wonderful night last night.
We first met up at work. He came in late in the afternoon. He slipped me a note asking me about what grocery items I might need. We were still trying to finish the last paper and he worked with the client’s payroll, so there wasn’t any time to talk. He left before us so he could make his stops and we both would get home close to the same schedule. I finished writing the paper at work (only the big one left now), but I got home first and needed to do my final room posting proofs. When he got back, he gave me the chance to finish up while he made some extra dinners for the freezer. He had brought sandwiches so after about 30-45 minutes we both finished up and ate.
I am not sure what we talked about, though I know we did. On his way over he had developed a crisis at work. A customer had shipped him 50,000 golf balls for a client work project and his staff had forgotten to call him, so he could reassure his customer that they’d arrived safely. He said he was going to need to leave early to check the order. But, being in general an optimist, I asked him if I could go with him. And, he said yes. I hadn’t taken this trip with him for a long time, and I told him this could count as one of my treat car rides with him. I was in a pretty good mood though wasn’t sure which workshop he’d be taking me too.
The drive into Chicago was beautiful. It always is at night time because of all the sparkly lights and tall buildings. We ended up driving to the workshop that is close to Union Station and the Sears tower. It’s my favorite workshop, especially since it was the one I had spent 3 years working at. I was pretty excited riding up in the elevator. The company is on the 8th floor and it’s a wonderful view at night, because it faces in toward downtown. This was the place he had magically placed his hand on my thigh thirteen years previously. I was feeling pretty romantic. I walked through the familiar office and work shop floor I’d been to so often in the past and I recalled so many feelings. I had been surprised entering the workshop doors, because I found two signs I had handwritten 9-10 years ago, and they were still on the door. There was also a large white board that nobody used apparently because it too had my handwritten notes from the same time period. I thought Oh my God, this is so surreal!
Machinery, tables, skids, and conveyer belts had moved location, but although the content on the skids had changed the other pieces were the same familiar ones I had known. The bigger workshop area is about the size of a basketball court. Some of it wasn’t so good. When I walked into the smoky clients lunch room, I’d realized that the clients were still allowed to smoke in there and they hadn’t done much with ventilation … I thought it kind of funny and I lit up remembering too being an old client. The lockers were the same as were two of the four vending machines. When our friend came looking for us, we commented on the walls not having been painted since we’d been there. We didn’t spend too much thought here though, because our thoughts were pretty much focused on chasing him around the dark workshop. AHA! Somebody got caught! Noooo, not by security, more by the likes of a big fuzzy bunny. *Goofy smile*
Some things never changed. It made for a very romantic evening. It was the first place we’d ever made love.
I know, I know … probably your thinking not as mushy as it should be more privately hidden in somebody’s bedroom, but then I’d have to say you weren’t there! Sometimes sneaky love making is the best! It was grand and my head was floating! The drive home we talked and talked and he let me off inside our door with some sexy smoochying AND a slurpee! I love taking rides with him. We usually hold hands or one hand or another is rested in a lap. YES, mostly resting! We teased for having turned a work crisis into a romantic date night out!
So that was that!
We’re going to remember the evening for quite some time to come, and in comparison, we’re imagining the rest of the weekend might be a little more hum drum, but oh … what a fantastic memory! He even climbed onto a skid, which is another favorite old work memory. He retrieved for us a sample of work that he was doing. Of all things, he is processing nutrition bars. WooHOOO!!! AND, he’s packaging diet chocolate candy! BUT, there was a stipulation that I could have only one Hehehe, we won’t complain though because it was an especially good diet pepsi slurpee!. Man on man … can this man razzle dazzle us to pieces or what??! Just thrilled with him to no end and back!
*Sigh* still trying to calm down and it’s probably about 20 minutes later.
The rest of the day? Not nearly as exciting. There wasn’t a whole lot happening up front. The biggest crisis of that period was that one of the clients had locked one of the bathroom doors before shutting it. No, she wasn’t locked in … it was just a case of not being able to get into the washroom. The staff pretty much stayed in panic mode for about an hour. It was a lousy hour … after trying hard to reassure her that it would be ok and that the other Q, the DSP, and Sr. all knew where the key was to unlock the door, this DSP continued to think the world was coming to an end and I could do no more, so I shut the door. She flittered one way and another trying to get the door unlocked while the clients (two groups) sat and watched her flightiness. Oh man … she was a mess~! This kind of behavior seems to be happening more and more, and I’m unsure how to get her out of this bad space. I don’t think it is good for the clients, who usually take the stance of just sitting there with no work watching her and getting drawn into her never ending outward chit-chat conversation. I think I will talk to Sr. Tess about it on Monday. *Sigh*
Just got crabby again Ok, better. Shoot guess not … our system seems to be closing down.
It’s now about an hour later. Nobody likes when the system shuts down ... I think we aren’t handling anger so good. Think the body protects itself from strong emotions. Shoot happening again … we got to struggle to get through it. Keeps happening … we’re losing time. I stood up to stretch, lite smoke, drink coffee, type. It’s still on our face though. I heard a cat. Chief came to visit us. He let us hold him and shut down with our face buried in his fur. Good kitty. Gotta get out of this space. It’s taking us under. We don’t usually see us like this. Our forehead is covered in wrinkles, eyes glared, mouth pouty. This is what we look like coming out of it.
During it looks something like this …
When it happens there are no thoughts, probably not much feeling either. It is like being blacked-out. Some time later you wake out of it. Our minds feel blocked and confused. Sullen. Keep going in and out. Fingers get rested on keyboard when I can think again we write our thoughts. Never had a camera before to see us in it. I think this is a good thing. I try to let in a flow of thoughts, our mind drifts into the blackness like in a dream. Now I stare into the faces and they leave me feeling curious, concerned, hesitating, but more detached.
Maybe it is time to open the curtains and check out why all the birds are singing. Hmm, think we’re back to more normal now. We feel able to smile. You all probably think we’re pretty strange taking pictures of ourselves and all. But we are going forward with it anyway. The people that are closest have always told us they could see changes of our face, but we are usually not given this opportunity. From start to end this whatever it is took one hour and forty-five minutes to get through. Let’s not do that again anytime soon!
I’m afraid to go back over my writing … I’m not sure I want to figure it all out. I think maybe its time to take a shower and maybe take some medicine. BRB
As always … we’re heavily rewarded for being back in the present and for having taken a fresh shower! Hehehehe
Ok, ok … nuf of all that … we’re probably starting to sound a little crazy again. Oh dear we’re crazy and we have silly cats … this is pretty terrible!
What else? Hmm, it’s almost 7 am. Not quite ready to start on the paper, but I suppose I should try to set that up. Ohh … on more story?
Yesterday, as we mentioned before, there was a group who went to the funeral of one of the client’s mothers. The group got back about noon so had time to eat before the Thinking Group. The first 30 minutes of the group we did a survey talking about the Spring Fling and fitness program. Not too exciting. But the last 20 minutes the funeral was finally brought by one of the clients. There are two main clients who do the best at conversation … both young black women. Between them, they told the story of what had happened at the funeral. It was beautiful and touching. They remembered detail by detail and periodically one of the others would add or comment on something the other two were saying. They remembered together which child belonged to which person and what relationship that person had to their friend. They talked about crying and feeling sad, but then feeling happy when one of the ladies got up and pointed down the row of sisters sitting in the front pew. She said from now on, I am going to be your all mama and we are going to keep this family together!! I think the clients felt just as much a part of this family at this very moment as ever before. They were extremely proud of their friend for standing up in front of all those people and talking about her mother and how much she loves her and that the mother had told her last to make sure she goes to church. It left a very strong impression on everyone there and later one of the staff who had gone told the same basic story, although without as much wonderful detail as had the clients.
I am soooo proud of this group of people for their ability to live life to the fullest in love and appreciation of one another. They be truly … God Blessed.
Ok, now it’s about time we did our part. Need to focus on school. This is our better get started student face. Hmm, better get on some warm sockies. Kitties asked that we keep open the door, but I don’t want to find ourselves sleepy because we are too cold.
We’re checking over first one last time our last regular report. Maybe it will help us gain perspective. For the sake of absolutely no reason, we’re going to post this last paper here. It is a marker paper, because it summarizes my feelings about what I’ve learned and hope to learn over the coming semesters. Please skip down if it doesn’t interest you to read it
u10d02 Professional Growth (skipperers look for the end mark)
Date: March 24, 2006 5:02 PM
Last edited on: March 24, 2006 5:10 PM
Guideline #1: Psychologists are encouraged to recognize that, as cultural beings, they may hold attitudes and beliefs that can detrimentally influence their perceptions of and interactions with individuals who are ethnically and racially different from themselves (APA, 2005).
I found myself learning a tremendous amount about multi-culture this semester, but I feel we’re in the beginning stages of just accepting “White” cultural history. I know that it is something I am going to need time readjusting too. I also found that it was easier for me to slip into the status of being color-blind. If a peer would identify a thought pattern specifying a race, ethnic, or cultural stance, I would be very accepting of that extra piece of information. I found myself not as interested in the profiles of where people have been with the exception of a glance the first week, and I found myself more interested on how that person was thinking with the correspondence of that day. I am still finding it better to look at a person’s approach to myself or others or to a circumstance each time they present themselves. Perhaps this is partially due to not being able to recall.
I still identify with my disabilities, though through the course and the practice of better fitness, I am finding that the healthier I am, the less disabled physically I feel. I appreciated people accepting my mental disability most often by the allowance of using our “us’s” and “we’s.” That is one of the most difficult things to stop doing in effort to appear “normal.” I found also a few times myself getting awkwardly defensive in hearing how people would “treat” those with disabilities. I was very aware of being someone that people might have to “deal with”. It seemed then strange to hear the strategies as if people with disabilities were “alien-atic” and somehow foreign to the practitioners. I was also able to fairly well recognize socioeconomics as that played an affect in my life. I do believe that having disabilities and being a woman and having been poor allowed me to better understand many of the different cultures. It was hardest for me to relate to Asian American culture, just by lack of experience. Last, it was hard to understand close family systems, due to the absence of having a close family system.
I feel that in great part I am still defining my worldview. I seem to trust best my experiences and have to remind myself not to overly categorize people. It seems like the first thing I look for is, “Is the person nice?” I would think then that I have the most difficulty being with or trusting people who are not nice. It comes from an “overwhelming” sense of fear from my old history though I’m trying to redefine the present by an awareness of actual relationships (observation, conversation, or interaction) in real time.
We have often utilized the sense of an “in or out” group. I’ve had a sense of being in one of these groups or the other, though now I know it sets sometimes bad boundaries. It is particularly difficult because we are a single woman. In this mode, I tend to become more submissive, or “devious” than the other modes. Not from the perspective I am looking at the other woman’s mate, as much as I’m looking for someone yet who is going to help me out, as in who is going to help me take care of my car? Or, who is going to help me bring up that heavy package? You’re in the “in-group” if you are able to help and the “out-group” if you are unable to help. I suppose then that would mean I am still objectifying people and relationships; being manipulative. We need to be more conscious of our expectations toward others’ and to be more receptive and curious, less dependent. With the “out-group” experience, we often feel rejected, which is our largest source of pain and anger.
Another attitude that I need to contend with is that of being sometimes inconvenienced by others, which happens more when I am rushed to complete a project. I want to yell out, “No more, no more! I’ve got to get this something done!” My impatience had negatively colored some of my relationships to others. For example, we have one client at the center that will passive aggressively catch your ear, and then she will go on and on in conversation asking at the end of each her statements, do you know why? It drives me bonkers. I can be very close-minded toward this person although I recognize she is disabled and needs positive affirmations.
I find myself asking more now days … not is he black or white, but how does color, personality, appearance, etc. play upon the individual’s presentation toward me and others and the world. This course has helped me to do this. I feel good about this distinction. It helps me to maintain interest rather than to abruptly terminate relationships because of my impatience. But, then again, I felt rejected by one of my best friends this morning and the next thing was to temporarily terminate our relating. Maybe one step forward, two steps back.
Guideline #3: As educators, psychologists are encouraged to employ the constructs of multiculturalism and diversity in psychological education (APA, 2005).
Guideline #6: Psychologists are encouraged to use organizational change processes to support culturally informed organizational (policy) development and practice.
I was not sure which guideline to choose between #4 and #6 as the guidelines I need to work with the most. So, perhaps, I can make a few notes on each. The reason I chose these guidelines in response to the question is due to the nature of work I would like to do. I have to work hardest at understanding the issues closer to heart. My goal is to become a psychologist who designs programs for adults with developmental disabilities centering on the south-side of Chicago as a challenged model of good programs and services. The south-side takes in many different cultures. To do this work, I need to see myself as first an educator, then secondly as a key operant in the development of organizations.
The first obstacle is to acknowledge with others it is ok to talk about cultural diversity. I think primarily it is difficult because it is a personal issue and a political issue. Many Americans do not want to see themselves as lesser or inferior to other humans and in many cases everyone wants to consider themselves at least slightly better than average. We certainly do not want to be categorized as lesser than other human beings. Maybe one affect of this is that we limit the size of our in-groups and use the out-groups to boost our egos by considering them less, again we become a little better than average.
Multi-cultural literature this semester became less threatening as we went along. We thought, ok, I can see that or identify with that. I also liked the idea that in knowing the material, I could become a better psychologist. As suggested before, I will be teaching adults with developmental disabilities, and I expect to work with different individuals with developmental disabilities, families, and service providers in the community. I am very excited about the course work that lies ahead toward individual, group, family, and community psychology. I would like to think this mixed with cultural awareness will assist each group in developing healthier relationships in general.
To do this work, I see the significance of people getting along culturally. Despite neighborhood gangs, I’m excited to think the programs I would be developing could include values and priorities of each of the different cultures. Sometimes the clients get angry and it is primarily because they don’t tolerate the various idiosyncrasies of others. I look forward to doing research for this. People in the community need to feel safe and they cannot feel safe as long as their boundaries are so porous, or easily disturbed.
The community neighborhood I work in is approximately 5 square miles and is called, “…” There are 13% White Americans, 50% are Hispanic/Latino Americans, 35% African Americans, and 2% Asian Americans. For me to step into community enhancement and teach the people who are developmentally disabled to become better community self-advocates; I will need to survey. I know the neighborhood is a poor group, because the median income is $25,650. I personally am fascinated with self-systems. I want people to better know themselves and their capabilities. I like to see growth and change, and less psychological dependency. People sometimes need to be taught how to make choices. The APA discusses the importance of organizations creating equal status, cooperation (or collaboration), perspective taking, and empathy.
I feel, in general, the people we work with to be safe, I don’t know how safe they consider each other. There is a sense of acceptance in the community for the developmentally disabled group, because in the six years of working here, there hasn’t been any violence or crime against the agency or anyone from within it.
It will be important to develop liaisons in the community and to work parallel with people who have similar community interests, especially including the development of people who are developmentally disabled. APA (2005) states, “Psychologists will be called upon to engage with other disciplines and sectors of society, including government agencies, in attempting to forge new policies and guidelines that promote human development, knowledge–building, and societal improvement.” And, to do this, APA (2005) recommends psychologists improve social amiability, nonjudgmental demeanors, willingness to self-disclose, and enthusiasm in leadership role modeling. Most astoundingly, the APA concludes its multi-cultural guidelines by stating, “Psychologists are encouraged to become familiar with practices that can be replicated to different organizational settings thereby leading to multicultural organizational enhancement and policy development.” The depth of this statement intrigues and challenges me to no end.
Resources
APA Online, (2002). Guidelines on multicultural education, training, research, practice, and organizational change for psychologists. Retrieved March 24, 2006 from http://www.apa.org/pi/multiculturalguidelines/preface.html
Wikipedia contributors (2006). New City, Chicago. Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Retrieved March 24, 2006, from http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=New_City%2C_Chicago&oldid=37446170.
End Professional Growth
Yup yup. That’s about how it goes at this point. I am very surprised that in completing 10 months of school work that my objectives have changed very little, but have grown very much. I still want to do what I want to do and feel blessed to have the opportunity to do so.
Hmm, now the hard part … how do I begin this work. Let’s see somewhere we have an outline for the paper. Let’s take a look at that.
AHA! I think this is the second time printing it, so you can skim down to the next section IF you happen to be spending your whole entire morning getting through our mish-mash of thoughts and ideas.
Beginning of outline (for the skipperers)
OUTLINE FOR FINAL COURSE PAPER
Option A: Multicultural Issues and Therapeutic Relationships
A. Summary of Knowledge
1. Sociopolitical issues & culturally appropriate interventions 1a. 1b. 1c.
2. Multicultural family interventions & cultural development 2a. 2b. 2c.
3. Non-western & indigenous approaches to treatment 3a. 3b. 3c.
4. Special population focus: African Americans 4a. 4b. 4c.
5. Special population focus: Asian Americans 5a. 5b. 5c.
6. Special population focus: American Indians & Alaskan Natives 6a. 6b. 6c.
7. Special population focus: Hispanic Americans 7a. 7b. 7c.
8. Special population focus: The elderly & persons with disabilities 8a. 8b. 8c. 8d. 8e.
9. Exploring the diversity of human sexuality & gender
10. Socioeconomic class & religious/spiritual orientations
B. Critical Analysis of Important Concepts and Theories of this Course
11. Changing demographics
12. Locus of control/responsibility
13. Values and barriers
14. Family characteristics
15. Educational status
16. Class affect on perception and behavior
17. Religious and spiritual influence on World view
18. Core mental health concerns
C. Synthesis of Ideas
19. Monoculturalism and acculturation 19a
a. Personal mindset
b. Conclusion
20. Values of Western-based counseling
a. Strengths
b. Weaknesses
21. Values of Indigenous people and folk healers 21a.
a. Strengths
b. Weaknesses
22. Communication 22a. 22b.
a. Affect of this course on personal understanding
b. Communication to others (Staff and client training at work)
23. Treatment Strategies
a. Personal Change & Goals
b. Future Studies hinder
End of outline (Skiperers relax)
AHA! This is what things look like by mid-day … It is one o’clock and we’ve been able to put good study time forth. The difficult part is in choosing between so many different ideas and directions. We’re not going to lose track yet now. We’re on page six and the goal is to get to page 12 by the end of our work day … we’ll let you know how it goes Steady keel …
Ok, ok moving along here … this last picture is how we look at the end of a day. Start to thinking that we’re going to snuggle up under that soft white down comforter in just a very few minutes. Maybe we’ll make one more smoke, though I’m sure we’ve gone through enough during the day.
We’ve done pretty good. We managed to write 14 pages in one day. That’s half the paper!!! Have to admit though it’s looking a lot different than we imagined. The biggest change is in cutting down of the ideas we had outlined and using case studies for the whole first section on gathering knowledge. Basically, it’s like cheating … It is easier to write and fills up space! YAYYYY!!! Actually, it is probably much easier to read too.
Wow! We sure did open a lot of windows in the process. I think we are going to count them as we close down a few. Pshwoo … we closed 17 windows and left 3 remaining. We didn’t even start the day with the original 11! Sure is fun to have open all these windows and be shuffling them around in one direction or another. Yah, I know … I gotta get a life! Hehehe. Well smoke is out and the clock says 8 pm. Figure we’re about a half hour short from getting to bed when we should be. Kudos to anyone that managed to get to the end of this entry … but, only half kudos to the skiperers!
Damn beside the paper being 13 pages … with pictures and all this entry turned out to be 13 pages too. Ummm maybe it’s you all that oughta getta life! Hehehehe
posted by Ann Marie @ 3/25/2006 08:06:00 PM
Comments: 7
