Three Blind Mice...
Good Morning,
*Sigh* Not much time before shower this morning. We’ve been up fooling around for a while. We’re now at the point of trying to let go of the MMPI test. That alone could knock the socks off a person. I figured we better take some time now to decompress. Vince was right; I better wait for a professional to talk to me about the tests and their results. I seem to feel now a little overwhelmed with them.
It was just that there were so many. For the record, I am not trying to complete school to become a therapist who is clinical or who counsels. My specialty would be in education. And, no I’m not going to affect anyone’s children. Our end goal is to write programs for adults with mental retardation. I can’t goof up that area too bad. This morning we feel a bit destabilized. I know enough to be a little dangerous, in that, all is not right with my brain and I’m aware of this and am trying to work around it. Trying to factor in we’re not crazy.
There was a small conversation with Justin as he appeared to be realizing my situation more clearly. He was respectful of me while pushing me gently forward with the memory aspects. We talked a little about the boys trouble with this too. It was just lately that they’ve talked about me being actually smart, but note that the other “crazier” parts have affected them. They give their father an all encompassing latitude for intelligence. I know he was very intelligent, but not well inspired emotionally. O shoot, shoot, why are we even thinking these thoughts?
Hi again. Just me. We lay down on the recliner and it is now ½ an hour past the time we were supposed to be at work. Just the tiredness over came our minds and we could no longer hold ourselves upright in the chair. That was another area tested yesterday … it spoke about how tired we sometimes become. *Sigh*
I have to wear off this general sense of grogginess. We woke up with bad nightmares. We were in Norway again, but we were with the family of my father’s. We used to gather at one of my father’s Uncle’s once a year for a family party. He was very wealthy and lived on a lake. Very big property. He had own some hardware stores. Thing is in this family, like my ex-in-laws, we were never given much credit for who we were. Both cases were demeaning, and now it is the same in relationship to my sons. Most often I feel as if compared to their paternal family, I am not worth very much. In the dream we spent our entire time frustrated and cleaning up their messes. Mostly from clothes and dishes. Thinking about this now … it also explains the condition with my family of origin. Yeeks
I think the crowning moment was when my ex-mother-in-law told me to take the clothes scraps she had, because if I didn’t she was just going to give them to her maid anyway. Couldn’t she somehow interpret how demeaning these expressions might be to me? I felt like Cinderella not invited though to the ball. So naive.
Oh dear, I’m on a sorry trip down a bad lane. Better get myself out of here. Poor V. is going to be grumbling, I told her so … DON’T get stuck in these tests. Well, he didn’t say that exactly … but, we interpreted it this way. But, being the willful creatures that we are. Well, let’s say if I were Eve … most the apple tree would have been eaten!
Ok, ok … back to some happier thoughts. Maybe time allows for one more cup of coffee. Ahh, still warm. Shoot, we forgot … should take the medicine. Ok, maybe in like 5 minutes. Let’s say 10 … I’ll set the timer :)
Ok, let’s choose other thoughts :) So, it’s going to snow some more today. The weather people predict it will be particularly bad during the drive home and end about 10 pm. They are saying about 3-5 inches. *sigh* Ok, let’s pick a better subject!
Let’s think of work here for a bit. It would be very good to be doing something. Last time there, we took care of that pile that had accumulated on our desk. A lot of things to be recorded in to the Tiger program, and then added to client’s files. I sure would like to get something accomplished there. Be nice to see what I could get done before the holidays. Everyone gets the week off. I will have to check to see what day is our last. I know everyone gets the week between Christmas and New Year’s off. It then becomes one of my favorites of the year. We don’t have many illusions of spending time with the boys. I don’t know maybe Macadam and Jacob will meet one day for brunch. That would be nice. BUT, it’s not a good idea anymore to try taking #1 Granddaughter out to dinner. It overwhelms her. It overwhelms me! We’ll have to think on these things a bit.
I’m already looking forward to another Dr. M. appointment, which will be tomorrow evening. By then certainly T. will be back, and our sweetie-pies trip about half over. Dr. M. says the day after Christmas we’ll miss a meeting, but should be good otherwise. I surely hope so. Feeling a bit over. I need to unwind. Ahh maybe by tomorrow then we’ll get a new check from work. Hmm, let me see … We’ve got about $500 to pay for bills, the rents covered for the month, middle of the month check … maybe we’ll save it for the next rent, and get back to paying rent from middle of the month check, bills from the first of the month check. Yes, yes … that be a good idea. Good, got that part covered. We’re a little worried about the cable company cutting us off again. L
Whoops medicine … and we should check for snow J
Ahh, both accomplished … now we’re moving … ok, next goal … go to work. Why don’t we set the timer for another ½ hour and work from there. Ok, done deal ½ hour shower and then the next part. There is a dusting of snow out there. Not too bad so far. I wish I had enough sick days to stay home again, but that might not be the best idea. I actually want to be at work, just having trouble with start-up processes again. Still feeling dizzy from the sleep. Oh oh … hear the snow plows out there, that can’t be a good sign. *Double Sigh*
Deep breathe … we can do this!
Ok, something lite. Sweetie pie sent us another card this morning. He must have preset to send one every day he was going to be gone. They always catch me by surprise first thing and we get to smiling before we open each one. Umm, lots of hugs and kisses involved. YAYYYYY!!!! I can already feel the tension from him being gone. It’ll be ok, it’ll be ok. Better go on to the next subject.
We seem to be on a wait and see concerning the next steps of Directory Assistance. There seems to be a question up in the air … Aha I see someone I would like to talk to for a sec about that, BRB… False alarm. Like to set a new date to open her … today is Wednesday … Maybe by Friday or Saturday morning early would be good. We’ll have to see how Friday night works out and whether I am tired or not. I think if I stayed home today … what would I do. Shoot, friend and V. are going to shoot me! 8 minutes to decide. Better go to work and see what we can get done. Oh oh V. just signed on … he would agree we should be at work, I know this much about him. Ok, better get this posted … we’re going to try and sneak past V. and get out the door before he catches us!
Bye!
posted by Ann Marie @ 12/14/2005 08:55:00 AM
Comments: 6
