And, in walks an angel!
Good morning. This is me. It's Friday morning now. I'm not sure when I'm going to get this posted though, because I still haven't figured out the connection problem we're having. Dr. Marvin said last night to unplug the connection.Oh man oh man!!! It worked ... not the first time, but the second time. I'm dancing in my seat. No, not like a lap dance, you just sort of light and giggly. Well not too light, but much happier ...
It's about 5:52 am though so there isn't too much time. I'll need to jump in the shower soon. I think Rich is right in that I should be shutting down the machine when I leave for the day. Of course even the very thought of that makes me nervous. I know just the way we are ... Rich should be coming home for a few minutes sometime this morning, but I'm not sure when. I think he's going to want to take a shower and do anything else he has to to get ready for his trip to NM. I think I'm supposed to drive him and his plane is to take off about 3 - 3:30 pm. That means to me that I should leave work from 12:30-1:00 pm. Maybe earlier if I got lucky ... the only thing that I'm going to want to do is get the staffing done. Other than that ... don't want to be there. I hear too that this weekend is going to be a long one because of the Columbus Day holiday on Monday. YooHOO!!!
I think Rich is getting back early on Tuesday morning.
Maybe we better take our shower now just in case he's coming home way early. Good thinking.
Hmm, ok, that's all done. We didn't get dressed yet, but everything else is ok. We ran out of those little plastic garbage bags though. That doesn't happen every day. Just that we're using them to pack our gym clothes and our lunches so we go through them twice as fast.
This hasn't been a real good week for the gym, but maybe by the weekend. With Rich being home for only a couple hours durin the week ... he's takn up the gym time ... Believe me given a choice ... I'd take Rich any day, but then it shows on the scale. This week I went back up, but am now down to 251, which is only one pound up from the newest low. Just I really need to be getting on with it. Ya know?
I had gotten a letter from my mother the other day and she said that CS is having problems with diahreah. That means that she's dumping. I think. At least that's part of what dumping is. I'm thinking that means she's losing way to much weight too quickly. So it is not being done healthy. I hope it's that more than she's got something medically wrong with her. I'll give her a call this weekend maybe ... should talk to my mother as well. Just sorta fell out of the habit, plus we've been touching on sensitive things during the session so that probably has an affect.
Hmm, just gave kitty a pet, but if you give them an inch they want a mile. Trying to get him to settle down now. Ok, he got some more pets. I hope he's not going to be greedy. Hmpf!
We had an ok meeting with Dr. Marvin last night, but not spectacular. We'd last left Rich and he was saying that his wife wants $80,000 a year. It was an unheard of price in any kind of reality. That would be to say that Rich could even make that kind of money if he was ever going to think of retiring. To put it in perspective ... I clear $2600 a month, Rich was thinking that she could have $3000 a month and he would have $3000 a month, but then this amount is $6700 a month. Plus she has her own income.
When we talked to Dr. Marvin he said that she doesn't have children and the rules say that she pretty much needs to take care of herself. When I got divorce there wasn't any alimony and I HAD 3 young kids. If Rich buys into this it will be a disaster. Especially, because if she got that, she would want more. The way it is set up - she would get more money from Rich's side jobs like reffing than he is getting. She would in addition have her income, and she would have a house. It's such an unbelievable bad deal it's crazy. Rich and my income together wouldn't match what she wants from him, and that's before you add the house and her income which is at least as much as I'm making if not more. We know though that she wants to be on disability ... so she'll have that too ... making a nice income without working. And, meanwhile what happens when Rich reaches the age of retirement in a couple of years ... where would things be then?
Ugh ... it's too much for me to think about again. Especially, with JVS going under as it is - with the workshops in particular. Without that ... Rich loses half his income. And, it IS coming soon. He was willing to be nice, but she wants more than nice. She wants money before taxes and insurances are paid. It's really, really bad. OK QUIT!
I can't do anything about it ... without Rich being here to talk to. I know that Rich isn't planning on making my life easier through his income, but it shouldn't be made worse. I still don't like that I am not in a relationship where I am not being taken care of. This is rubbing me the wrong way in a dependent fashion. I'm not having enough to pay the rent and Rich's money goes for the fishing, the boat, his travels. It's one thing that he gets to choose what to do with his money, but I'm feeling the pinch of not having exta especially while paying down the debts of about $700 a month toward school and hospital, so in that sense things are not going to get better. And, no ... the car doesn't help. But, that's what's happening ... The car is only $50 more, but then we're not resolved on the insurance yet and the cost of gas. Everything seems more troubling than the next.
We talked about other stuff too I think during that first half hour, but in general I think it was things that we're making me feel down. My computer Internet hadn't been working, I still don't like work, Rich has been gone, and I haven't been getting to the gym. There is most likely other things ... but, the little things were adding up. But, then we decided that maybe we should take a look at whatever was causing us more problems along the theraputic route. Basically, we couldn't remember what we'd been talking about during sessions, but we asked Dr. Marvin to remind us.
This time he didn't say too much before we remembered that we'd had a secret we were keeping from him. It took the rest of the last half hour to come to any kind of forward momentum with it. The end result was that we wrote it down on a piece of paper - we made Dr. Marvin close his eyes first - then the paper got folded up and sealed in an envelope and then the envelope got folded too and a rubber band was put around it. And then, Dr. Marvin put it for us in his desk - within our files. He's not supposed to look at it.
I know that this doesn't seem too much positively toward resolution, but it is about where we are at. It felt terribly risky to be doing this much. We know that it is probably causing us trouble with things in general. We have these feelings of dread and misgiving that are spreading themselves out into our world. The feeling is just one of sinking. It probably doesn't help either in that we are paying such close attention to the Presidential race and the economics ... Every day it seems we're breaking all new time problems with the world economy. My day seems measured around where the Dow is going to land ... Yesterday it was like 5 hundred some points below. Things are just not going so well. I don't know what the short and long term repercussions are going to be ... the moment as now is just that I haven't paid the rent for this month. I should be able to in about a week, but then that gets me behind with everything else. As it is I'm going to need taking off the automatic payments, because that would put us over. It's about $300. We just have to do our best ... I'm afraid that this isn't a great situation. But, we haven't yet given up. Just trying to keep our head above water.
Hmm, think we're going to get dressed now ... We still have about 20 minutes, but we seem to have a lull in our thoughts. Might as well get over the hard parts - to make things easier in general. I think I would have taken the day off, but I think that I have an annual today.
WooHOOO somebody sweet just walked in!!!
AHA! This is a good improvement to my sex life!!! MORNING STUFF!
posted by Ann Marie @ 10/10/2008 06:58:00 AM
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