Kind of a clunky Saturday
Good morning. This is me. It’s taken me a while before I got to this part of writing. I’ve been floating around here and there this morning. I woke up at 5:30 am, and it’s now 9 am. Can’t say I’ve done much … just checked out the general lay of the land. Mostly just groping along the Internet, email and so forth. We’re not really focused. Rich has left quite a while ago. He went to the western suburbs to meet up with his kids to play golf. They were supposed to tee-off about a half an hour ago.We got a little bit of time cozying up to him earlier. He was a little slow in waking up this morning. He needed a little extra cuddlin and massaging to coax him up. My poor baby…
Yesterday I did well in that I got to the center to collect check and cord, stopped at the bank, and then went swimming. Today, the goal is to go to the gym before Rich gets back about 1 pm. I have been SOOO sluggish though in getting to where I’m going, I’m not sure all of what is happening. We’ve just now turned on both the TV and the music, but might have to change the music, because it is not yet being effective.
Hmm, playing now with some Pink Floyd … no I don’t know how I got here, but we’re here so … taking it in. I really look forward to getting some of Maury’s music. He stopped in yesterday to advance our electronic situation. That reminds me I told Maury I would do some disk cleaning up and defragging today. He was here for about an hour, but got so frustrated with the slowness of my computer and not being able to download a driver that he said he’d be back later. I felt bad because I’d left the music on and I have known in the past that it slows down my system when I just let it running while otherwise the computer is on idle. I’m not sure why, but I should know better.
I just thought of Maury, because I know he has a copy of Pink Floyd – he had remembered from childhood that I liked to listen to it while driving in the car. That’s the memory we’re getting now. It seems like the music and TV are now at a good balance.
Sorta makes the place feel like we’re waking up now. I was playing around with playlists, because I don’t know so many people who might be of my interest if I gave it more time. Hmm, that’s not going so well for all of us … too much guitar. We updated to Norah Jones radio which means I’ll get her and people who are rated to be like her. Similar artists include Holly Cole, Jamie Cullum, Erin Bode, Diana Krall, Madeleine Peyroux, John Mayer, Mutlu, Nedelle, Sting, and Cassandra Wilson. I only know John Mayer and Sting, but I’m game for at least trying. I like the three people I do know.
Hmm, ok, settling down, right?
Hmm, where did we leave off … you know that Rich is gone for the morning … and we were thinking of going to the gym.
Maybe we should take a shower while so we can be ready after not too long. We want to be back before 1 pm. That means we should be ready to leave here by 11:15-11:30. I think it’s been taking me a little longer to get through the gym experience. I like the feeling of not being rushed. I think that this time too, we are going to try the bikes. We spotted a row of them while we were swimming the other day. I hadn’t seen it from the walking part, but surely we can now figure out where they are now that we know they are there.
Ok, brb
Pswhoo … that’s done … we got another cup of coffee too. I’m glad to be back at the desk, but this time I feel a little more able to be leaving the computer than in the past. Not saying that all that isn’t going to hit me again … just this morning we seem to be getting some relieve from it. I’m at that point of looking forward to being at the gym.
I wish I could explain it proper, but it feels like I’ve been at the gym for a long time, even though everything is new to me. It feels like MY gym. And, that feels pretty elitist in that I know being able to go to a gym is not something that should be taken for granted. I feel though a bit like myself from the days of old. Though this time I’m not running away from home to be at they gym. It’s more like an extension of home and me. Part of it is because I’ve had some pretty good luck at getting in while there are still machines … I haven’t had to scramble too bad for them, though at one point there were 8-9 people in the pool which feels like a crowd, because it’s really set up for not a lot of people and the ones that are in there should be doing laps.
There are real swimmers in some of the lanes, but yesterday and one other time I ran into a some ladies who were doing the same kind of thing as I was in just walking back and forth. The other lady cut-off at 50 times where I did 62. The two were to push myself past the mental barriers. I feel like I could do more physically, but I am conscious at least this last time of wanting to try out the sauna and whirlpool … so that takes some strength too. I have to lift myself out of the water and that takes some effort. I don’t want to overdo it so that I couldn’t climb out. That would be embarrassing.
There were a couple of people who said at least one nice thing … just in passing stuff, but it was something in that they didn’t look away blankly. I have to get comfortable with myself so that I can say hi too … people seem really careful about not getting into each others space. I’ve seen some of the older guys who seem to talk a little or some of the middle-age Spanish guys. We’ll have to see more of that as time unfolds. I’ll leave here in about an hour now. I skipped the last rotation of the regular workout, and instead took two turns at swimming after being off two days. One was planned and the other only somewhat in that I’d been looking for Rich to be home early, but wasn’t. I know, I know we’ve already been there, right?
*Sigh*
We’re still holding onto the weight of 261. I think we’ve been cheating on the eating part. We’ve been doing more grazing, especially when we get home. I’ve felt ok in not being overly hungry when we go to the gym. I’ve been doing the pineapple cup before leaving work and that seems to help. I’m afraid that I’ve expanded our stomach in that I know we are eating more than before. Like this morning I had two tortillas. And, then later I had a half can of spaghetti. I know I shouldn’t be having that because it counts like a double or triple meal because it’s all in the guise of being breakfast. I need to watch the quantities now before it gets worse. I think that’s the reason why I’m not going down faster. Also, I’m thinking that the gym is helping with some muscle building. I’d like to think that I’m becoming more contoured, although its so small at this time its not noticeable directly. Well, Rich says he can tell, but I think he’s prejudice and just trying to get me psyched up.
Have I mentioned at least today … how much of a lover bunny he is?
Somebuddy gave him a hard time yesterday night though. It should be pointed out it was before taking the medicine, but that’s most of the problem. We get tired and then somebuddy says, “I don’t want to take my medicine.” And, then he starts to get cranky because he’s fighting with that part again. It should be said it’s not like a real equal fight because he’s so much bigger than us. And, usually everything is better and someone’s getting rubbed afterward. But, I think when he says he’s getting crabby that makes the younger part feel bad and so usually she collects a hug and then goes and does what she knows she has too.
I think too we were at some place in our own thoughts of still worrying over what had happened at Dr. Marvin’s without having the direct words or thoughts to explain or discuss the situation. Rich was not in a very good place to be going into a full-throttle discussion either. He’d come in tired asking for a chance to relax. But, we’d been here most of the day and were tired of relaxing. We wanted a little attention.
We feel bad though when he’s feeling bad … so while being in that being rubbed position, we’d lay down next to him and watched the back-end of some movie that wasn’t quite as interesting as being rubbed. WooHOO! That was nice. After a while, we’re thinking we’re pretty tired aren’t we. We didn’t struggle so much when it was time to put us to bed. But, he’d done that again where he said HE was tired so I have to go to bed. Somebuddy asked earnestly WHY do WE have to go to bed if YOU’RE tired!?? But, he just sighs and says he’s in the habit of putting us to bed … and then it’s like oh … yah, I forgot.
See what I mean … we’re not much a match-up for him in the logic department when we’re in a younger part. I think that though fuels some of the feelings the younger part has in not being a more direct match. Like one of her arguments is … How come you have to be right all the time. I think she sees it that it would be more fair that we share being right, but he’s like … I’m in charge and I’m the big person, so what I say goes. She rebels without having the ability to lay out real arguments. It’s kind of a sad silly thing that’s happening. I guess it’s just the kind of relationship we’re going to have for quite some time to come until we can figure out how to do it better.
I don’t think we’ve said too much about what happened Thursday with Dr. Marvin. Maybe I better read up though so we don’t repeat too much. Hmm, looks like I forgot to post yesterday better do that now.
posted by Ann Marie @ 8/31/2008 10:22:00 AM
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