One more day worth mentioning
Good morning. This is me. It’s about 7:40 am. We’re getting in at a good time. We updated our news coverage … Just like to make sure we’ve got some updates. Not too much. Just AOL lite stuff. Nonetheless, I feel caught up.Sister was at the door to apologize. She said that Candice had an excuse for leaving early yesterday … it had been a problem on the way out last night. I had told Sr. she had left before me at quarter to 4, because Sr. had alerted me that she’d been watching out for it. I guess that she must have confronted Candice about it this morning, because she had a fuller picture. Candice said that she had left earlier to return a Q test to Anixter Center. It sounded like apparently sister had known this. It was like, Ok. Your call, you are the boss. If it’s not important to you, then it’s not important to me. Boss’ call.
I’ve got to settle down our minds. Not sure what the priorities are this morning.
I’ve got to think … last time we wrote? Ok, looking at the notes from yesterday. I guess we’d just gotten to the point of having put in the results of the DSPs pre-test. And, then we had done the Circles group, but we didn’t have the staff training, because it was the first week of the month and the new thing is that there isn’t staff training that Thursday. I had prepared the tests, but that is already discussed.
As a side note, I talked to Sweetie about that this morning. I had sent him a copy of the report when I sent it out to Sr. He said that he would try to read the questions before the meeting, but I’m not sure if he has that kind of time. I would like for it to come up. I’m not sure how it would be presented. Sr. would have to carry it – because I wouldn’t know how to bring up scores without the two Q’s being interested in how they did or then being disgruntled by their scores. It’s on Sr. I’ll just say we are prepared to go over with the staff next week during staff training. And, that if the other two want to discuss their scores, I’ll go over it privately with them. I’ll introduce it as having questions that concern the safety issues … I might want to have a few pull-out’s ready for quick add-ins such as knowing the difference in terminology between evacuation and disaster drills, knowing where fire extinguishers are, and knowing what the behavior committee does.
Ok, good good … what’s next. It’s about 8 am. Did we get through yesterday at work? I think we talked about yesterday’s group. That had gone good. Ok, next then is the part about going to Dr. Marvin’s. I think everything was fine in that we got there almost on time. We got there like 1 ½ minutes late. We had been out of Sr.’s talk a few moments late, and then had to take a few breaks getting to his office by way of breaking for rests down the long corridor. He had the door open and was waiting there when we opened the main door to his outer office.
I don’t remember how it got started, but I think pretty close to there we had him check over the reports for the last 3 doctor appointments for this last week. I think that took about 15 minutes. Let’s see cardiologist, general doctor, and nationalist. I can’t remember anything off the top of my head special about that stuff. I think I was a little disappointed that it wasn’t a bigger deal than what he was reading. It was a little bit of a let-down that I had put so much into the appointments and he was saying everything looks fine … It was like don’t you realize how much effort that all took??! I think I must have said something to that affect and I got some kind of credit. I don’t exactly recall.
I have to grasp for some way of figuring out what happened next. I think there was something. Hmm, I know that we did something about getting into the liquid diet and we did a big part on talking about our new friend. I told her that I was very interested in the relationship. I told him some things about her and how we matched, like both being in relationships, although mine was orientated toward a male and hers a female. My relationship was longer and hers shorter, we were both going through the surgery, so obviously both big people. Both of our partners were larger weights as well – though neither of the others were interested in the surgery for themselves. We’d both been on Medicaid/medicare and going through getting a degree – though she was still going through that. And, we’d both had children – I’d had 3 and she had 1. We both had been through divorce – mine a long time ago, and hers just recent. She known a multiple and I had the impression that we were both familiar with people who were “imperfect.” There were a lot of good match up’s … I think she and her partner are about 10 years younger than us … and that puts her about 20 years behind Rich.
That was a big deal about the thing last night we were talking to Rich about the one BIG problem. We’d told him that our new thing was to run things past our “Rich-o-meter.” If we didn’t think Rich would approve – there might be something the matter and we should discuss it with someone – most certainly Dr. Marvin. The big problem is a doozy. Angel is into S & M stuff. We don’t want to be judgmental and I don’t think its like that at all. But, we are feeling a protective thing with ourselves and the kids. We’ve gone through some stuff with this before and we found ourselves triggered. With Dr. Marvin we found ourselves going back into memories set back with Dr. Woollcott and Lissa and my uncle and grandfather and my grandparent’s church and the snowmobiling group in WI and the drinking and sexual overtones and my parent’s parties that were sexually orientated, etc. I don’t want to get into all that, but do you see what I mean?
Basically, even thinking a little about it opens up all kinds of other doors. We’ve just been going through this safety thing with thinking about how things had been sexually safer with Rich around over these last 9 years and now we are presented again with a relationship where things would be more challenging. I’m not saying that Angel would necessarily be hitting on us, because she has a steady relationship, but in relationships like both hers and ours, I believe there are a lot of unmet needs. I think that is true because we’ve both devised ways of hurting ourselves. That was a big one that came in from left field yesterday. I didn’t expect it. Dr. Marvin asked something about how we’d do with the pain aspects. We didn’t or hadn’t been recalling that part at all. Like what? The two are related?
Our first effort at trying to put together was like building endurance was a good thing, but we could see from the look on his face, that we were far from the mark.
I had that sinking feeling like this was going to be like opening a can of worms.
I remember also at some point of agreeing with him that we could put things away for a while. I don’t know how close that came to the point where we … shoot … we’ve gotten confused again … lost a whole train of thought. I’m going to do a business thing … going to look at Candice’s report … hold on.
Ok, back … that didn’t take too long. I had looked at the first draft yesterday and had made specific changes. She’d made most of them and so it was easy to approve, but she cheated on the goals part. She did say that she’d asked Maria as to the minutes part … and that the client averaged 17 minutes of walking … she’d set the goal for 15 minutes of walking and I’d told her I believed the client could already do that many minutes. So, she set it for 25 minutes. We let that go by. *Sigh* The second goal she had said 20 expressions, but she isn’t stating how she plans to do that, nor is she stating in the third goal how she plans to count the improvement of reading comprehension. So we told her everything was fine, but to go back and write up the long goals 2nd paragraph part, so I could see visually how she planned to be counting out the goal. I don’t think she knows quite yet, or she would write it out. I told her Sr. would make me accountable for it, so I would like to understand it before I sign, but everything else was fine. I think broken down like that … she seemed ok with it. I saw her working very hard on it this morning when I came in.
When Sr. talks about perhaps making a mistake with her I tell her that when she does the job and pushes herself the quality is pretty darn good. That’s the thing I hold onto most. I need to come to the point with her where she trusts me more to let me help her. Sr. is about to the point that we start from scratch and we go back to placing her under supervision. She’s not going to like that and it’s not my idea.
Sr. feels very frustrated. I think if we did do this, we would ask sister to make a list of problems as she sees it and I would work at correcting specific problems.
Like objectives. I would have her checking in more often and working off of checklists.
I think before I could do that though, I would have to understand better my own personal underground problem with them. It seems like the more I need them, the more I avoid them. This is the ending of the second week where I’m not getting the things done that I’m supposed to … I really don’t want to take the basics home, but I’m getting worried about the load I’m putting off. I have to deal with it and unfortunately today with 3 meetings coming up it’s not a good day to deal with it. We’ve got administration at 10 am, Circles with the Leadership Group at 12 pm, and Thinking Group at 1 pm. Hmm, the only one I think I need to be concerned with is the Leadership Group. I think they are ahead even with everyone now this week, I don’t want to put them ahead – I want them on an even keel so that means I have to come up with an alternative plan. Let me double check that.
WooHOOO!! We’re all set up … we asked the group since they are right here. They said we had done the acquaintance one last one with teachers. I thought it might be something like that because they hadn’t colored in the yellow OR orange circle yet.
So, today we will talk about the orange circle which is talking with kids you don’t know well and coloring in the yellow and orange circles. That will get them even with the other groups. It’s really easier when they are all together. Pswhoo.
Hmm, that gives me an hour and 15 minutes prior the first meeting … time for lunch, then the circles group followed by the Thinking Group, then it will be 2 pm and I’ll have 2 more hours to do something. Then … THEN I’ve heard that Sweetie will be HOME tonight! WOOOHOOO!!!!
I can hardly wait! I should plan something to do with this extra 3 hours. I know that I would like to do some more writing, but there isn’t a lot more to do. I got home from Dr. Marvin’s around 6-6:15 pm. I did the news thing for about 45 minutes while I ate dinner – no goofing around there yesterday, but there was a candy bar on the way out of work – that puts me at $10 there. I ate an orange in the parking lot so we’re good there. At 7 pm, we used the washroom, took our meds, and turned on the Chicago football game – to which, we promptly fell asleep. Zzzzzzz. We did talk to Sweetie a few times in-between. He had a few games and then he was going to stop at the store. He woke us up about 8 pm or so and the first words out of our mouth were ICE CREAM!!! We’d been waiting to do birthday cake with him for a couple of days. He had us waiting so we struggled with sleep a bit, and as soon as it was done we lost consciousness with the Bears. We remember him waking us up so we could put on our mask. I think he went to his bedroom to read about 3 chapters. He
really likes reading to himself at night.
This morning we got up about 4:30 and read our news, etc. We were taken with how good looking trumps baby was and how good he had looked with him. Hold on maybe I can find the picture again. WOOHOOO!!! That took some effort, but not too long!
I thought what a gorgeous kid … Nothing like I feel when I’m looking at poor Britney’s kids. Those kids look deprived.
Ok so. Yes, my mind is wasting. But, I do care about these things for reasons unknown even to us. Someone that is taking care of this child has a lot of taste … I mean man look at how the collar and sleeve cuffs set off those adorable cheeks and golden locks! I mean he’s tired, but certainly not unhappy. Shhh… ok, ok
Reminds me of something said at Dr. Marvin’s last night … our interest apparently for now seems to be the study of relationships. We are interested in friendship, but then as one gets to know one another you learn things and see things that are there to be learned. I still am not good with long term at this point – with the exception of me and sweetie. I’d do anything for that guy. Now in the am when 6 am turns around we don’t fight the shower as much as we used to. This morning we had in mind that we’d like to snoozle him some … so we went through the shower fairly quickly and then loaded him with plenty of kisses so much that he had to beg for mercy, umm or he said he had to go to the bathroom, well one or the other. I had gone out to the computer while he was gone, he snuck back into the bedroom and was near his bed when we came by and grappled him WOOHOO. We tipped him back to bed.
Oh sure he complained, but 8-10 minutes of back-rubbing isn’t something to complain about for long. We talked about setting a sex date like we used to to make sure we kept up our love life. I was pretty sure we could do that and for the sake of a long relationship that we had to. I’d read something this morning about people losing relationships who had feel out of sexual relating. And, I thought … hmm, when did we have sex last? Probably only days ago, but if I can’t remember it, it was too long ago!
Hmm, that’s another clue … we’re talking about it at work … remember that’s a no-no hmm? Shhh next!
Ok, ok … just saying…
*Sigh*
It snowed again and I buttoned my coat and wore my glove … see? Is that more interesting? Yeah, right? Nothing more interesting! SHHHH!!! *Grumbling*
Work?
40 minutes
I guess then that we decided no work this morning? Ok, why don’t we think of something work like? Like what are we going to do with those 2 hours this afternoon? See the point is that work doesn’t come automatically to mind … that’s a problem isn’t it? We should probably leave that time to be writing about the three meetings. I think that could take some pressure off Saturday morning trying to recall. We’ll be more tired too. Probably should take a restroom break now before sister calls the meeting early or something like that. She’ll start as soon as Rich and Holly come in. Hold on.
posted by Ann Marie @ 12/07/2007 04:01:00 PM
Comments: 1
