Hmm to shower or not to shower, this is the question ...
Good morning … me again. It’s about 9 am now … we’ve been up for like an hour and a half … Rich too. He got up at the same time and on his own. We talked a bit over coffee, then we can in the living room … me to mess around on the computer and him on his favorite Sunday TV shows. We watched the clip with Community Service Option. There was a part on the computers and clients using them, but St. Rose didn’t get put in there even though they went over specially to get their picture taken for TV. *Sigh*I didn’t hear much of what they were saying because I just wanted to see if our guys got filmed. I think they are going to be disappointed.
We just posted yesterday’s stuff and haven’t re-read it yet, but Rich has now got his computer and I think that we need to be moving on. First most important thing that happened yesterday was that we went to Joe’s match and he got knocked out. He was unconscious for a couple of moments, but the doctor there said that she didn’t think he had a concussion. I’m not sure. Joe was pretty stunned by the whole event. His friends are going to help him through the night. It was just the end of the first third, or maybe beginning of second part. I don’t remember. I had been videotaping him and all of a sudden he was down and we kept filming because we didn’t … weren’t registering what to do. His sensei, Alex, and a couple people including a doctor was there. Then finally he sat up. And, then a short time after that he got up and left the ring. There was a chair by me and I pulled it in front of me so he could sit down. Alex and Maury and then later us were putting ice packs he was getting from his Sensei, Steve.
I don’t even know what to think yet. His Sensei said that he can’t kickbox until 3 months so that means that the event on November 17th are going to be cancelled.
Alex is still in it though so this is going to way heavy on his thoughts. Joe was quiet. I gave him a bottle of water and he took it and held it. It didn’t seem as if he knew he were to pull it to his mouth. I got out one of the extra towels I had brought. I said this was to wipe of the sweat on your face. He said I could do it. So, I did. I felt that I was allowed to take care of him a little bit. Mostly we were both listening to Alex, and Maury and Sensei Steve talking. Sensei Steve looked a little nervous, but ok. He was smiling like to say this sort of thing happened all the time.
Joe had been doing ok until he got the hit. Maury said it didn’t turn out so good on camera because of the angle of the camera against the pole. But, after a bit I am thinking that Joe is going to want to look at it anyway. Both Maury and Sensei Steve watched the film again through the video. Maury had told me that I could use the camera. Alex said that Joe was hit on the jaw and that it pushed back and cut off something that had to do with conscientiousness. Joe didn’t have insurance. I had asked Sensei Steve if he should go to the hospital, and he first said it wouldn’t hurt, but then he said no that the doctor had cleared him from the concussion.
Joe didn’t remember what had happened. He didn’t remember getting hit or falling down. He remembered the guy at the end counting up to 10. I don’t know what I thought about the whole thing. I think part of us cut down too. We couldn’t get near the ring because there were tables up against it and the people up there were already a crowd and they were the people that knew what to do. I will call Joe in a little bit to see how he is doing … maybe a little closer to 10 and then I will give Maury a call to see if he knows anything new.
I didn’t want to see Joe hurt, but it didn’t seem I was overly emotional either. I felt like I had stepped in Joe’s shock. I was waiting for someone to say something that I could hear that made sense. Like what is happening. We’d stepped out of the direct experience and finally brought ourselves partly back by helping Alex apply the ice packs and with the towel. Joe got chilled in a bit and asked for his shirt and sweatshirt. I was asking a few questions about the medical aspects, and my eyes were like searching. Does someone know anything? Can we go yet? Joe do you want to stay or go? I was so relieved when someone finally responded that we could go.
They were there to watch one of the hard fights. I remember packing up the stuff and wheeling out of there. It had been decided that Maury and Alex would look over Joe, and they believed me when I said I could drive by myself. I didn’t want to lose contact with Joe, but I knew he was safe with the boys and they were probably more able than me. I didn’t want to see Joe hurt. I asked Sensei and he said Joe wasn’t in shock, but I think he was. I think I was. But, I drove home. I called and left a message with Rich, and he called us back, but that was after we stopped at BK. I thought I deserved a milk shake, but fortunately their machine was broke and we got a diet coke. That was a good thing too because the 3 guys had seen me pull off and while I was at the drive-in thing they were like phoning me … I didn’t respond until I got past the window, but I told Maury that I was dedicating this diet coke to Joe.
Rich called back after not too long too. He let me tell him what had happened or what I could remember. I don’t know how I’d got home, but I was more than sure I was happy with that decision. Rich had been watching the first 20 minutes of the Transformer’s video, so we watched that with him until it was over and he dragged a lost and tired child to bed. She said she wanted double covers and she was too cold to take off her coat. We had taken a pretty big hug when we first saw Rich. He is a good hugerer.
It had been a long time to go before the matches had started. And, then Joe was the 5th one.
I don’t want to think more of the match though. I want to stop that part. There was something else that happened or was heard of last night. On the way to the gym, Joe told me that Sensei Steve made him a business offer on Tuesday and they’d been talking it over pretty seriously since then. I guess Joe is getting help from his father and there is a contract being drawn up, but Sensei Steve has asked Joe to be a 50-50 partner in the dojo in Villa Park. So, in one fall swoop – Joe would own half a business. For a kid that’s only 23 years old that I think is pretty good.
Joe has been going to Sensei Steve’s for 10 years now. I think he sees something in Joe that is different than most people. Of course, we know that about Joe already.
I can’t say enough though how much sensei Steve has done and meant in Joe’s life. I think he is actually calmer than Sensei Steve – that is my note after seeing what happened last night … I think Sensei Steve is a bit fidgety. Like he’s living on high doses of energy. There will be many more stories to come I think on Sensei Steve. I don’t think he would do anything to hurt Joe … he’s not that kind of guy, but I’m hoping anyway that Joe’s dad brings the contract to a lawyer to look over.
Joe would be buying into the business for about $8,000. I don’t think that’s much for buying into a well-established business. I would like to see them expand the size of their facility, because its pretty small, but that’s a business consideration they would make later down the line.
I think Joe would be responsible for aspects that are business such as rent, utilities and such. He has also asked and been given an extra hour off on Tuesday and Thursday nights so he can go back to teaching the 7 pm and 7:45 classes. I’m not sure which classes he is teaching, but I think he was good at what he was doing. I’m not sure why Sensei Steve has made that decision. But, I know there was another business partner, who didn’t end up being much of a business partner. He wasn’t active. Joe will most likely get money from his grandmother, in that she has an account for each of the boys that they were each to receive upon a certain age.
I think Joe is getting $6000 from that and somehow $2000 from Thom.
I also asked about how the living arrangement had been going between the boys. He’s getting along fine with Thom, but they are thinking that either Bob their step-brother has to get rid of the girl, or get a place with her, because they don’t like her over at the apartment so much. Joe says that he and Thom would consider getting a place that is not as expensive, but maybe closer to Joe’s primary job. But, then that might make the trip longer to the dojo. Joe says that it doesn’t matter so much to Thom as long as he is on a train line. I don’t think Joe knows a lot about the areas between him and there. They have to wait out the contract and by then he would have to see.
I don’t think I see that Joe is going to make a lot of money with Sensei Steve, but it is more like an opportunity of the heart. Joe said that he could see spending more and more time down the line into the business and that at some point, he would like to make it full-time job. I think that being a Master Sensei is a reasonable occupation, because I see it as helping people become a better people. I think that makes a lot more sense than what he is doing now, though for the time being that job that is paying the bills. It will be interesting to see what Joe is going to be up to learning from Sensei Steve. Joe is a good learner, but he’s also a good teacher. I’m excited that he will be learning business aspects. I’m not sure what he will be adding that will be most important to Sensei Steve, with the exception that Joe is such a good person that that kind of influence is good for Sensei Steve. It earns him respect with the students. Joe wouldn’t ever say anything negative about his teacher. He has so much respect for him. That is just the kind of person he is.
I am a little more concerned as to what happened last night, but not enough to turn against Sensei Steve. I talked to Maury about 45 minutes ago. His point was that Sensei Steve wasn’t good enough, but we were trying to explain to him that it was a process. I would hope that Joe learns exponentially from being placed against bigger challenges. I would like to set up more opportunities to be with Joe to learn about the things going on, so that I might help, but I think he’s pretty much into his own life and trying to figure out his place in it. I’m terribly excited for him.
I’m also very happy that it puts him in a better position to be learning higher and higher levels of karate. I don’t know why karate is so good. I mean it is good protection, but it’s not all that. There’s a big part of the character building that is very admirable. I remember the relationship that I had with Rosey. There was not enough good I could have said about him at the time that we were in that student/coach relationship. I had spent extra time with him as a captain of the team helping him put away equipment at the end of the day, and we would give him the time to talk about the things that were important to him. I see that same kind of excitement for Sensei Steve. He is very enthusiastic. Maybe a little goofy, but goofy in a good way that I could appreciate. Joe says that he’s got like 5 kids.
There’s something admirable about that. Having kids and being devoted to them is a good thing.
I think there is one other aspect that is important. Sensei Steve has a deep commitment to God like Joe. And, I don’t think you can go wrong with that. It’s an area yet to be developed. I think that the most important part is that Sensei Steve is probably a little younger than us, but he’s going to develop, I hope, a relationship with Joe in that his career will be carried on past himself. There are real pedigree lines with whom you work with. I think the whole think is just so gosh darn cool and magical. It’s just like WOW!
Joe talked about one other thing … he said that played a dungeons and dragons game on a weekend out at some woods/campground. That was a pretty good deal for him. He says that Alex was there too. There were about 40 people. And, about half were monster and story characters, and then there were the other half that were playing the game. He said that he had a lot of fun. I think this is being very committed to the game. He says there are weapons, but I don’t remember a lot about the game, or maybe there isn’t much said. I remember first being introduced to the game with my ex’s little brother Brian. He loved it and played often with his brothers. Joe spends quite a bit of time dedicated to weekend play with his friends from college.
I think if there were one thing that wasn’t complete in Joe’s life is that he would like to be in a relationship with a girl. Someone who is devoted to only him. I see that that is an extremely important thing … I think being in love is one of the most important aspects of your life. But, I hope that the school takes his mind off that directly. I think being connected to all these Sensei’s through karate is Joe’s best bet for meeting someone very special. I am going to hope for that … that one day he finds his love and she’s as into karate as him. Then maybe she can contribute to the business too.
Hmm, we’ve had a break. It’s now 12:07
Whoops now its 5:24 pm.
There isn’t going to be much time today for writing. There’s a lot to do when you are a couple. Rich hung around all day except now he is gone because he had to return a movie. Last night we saw transformers. I loved how they put together the robots. The fight scene was too much for me though, I couldn’t understand who was fighting other. They kept changing scenes too quickly … very confusing. I’m not sure which one, but he has a Adam Sandler movie that we are going to see today.
We had a very romantic steak dinner out on the balcony, but after the sun started to set it got chilly. We keep a couple candles out there, but they weren’t very warming. I think we need to ask our landlord for a fire place, but first we gotta figure out a way to get the washer and dryer. It is too expensive right now because Rich has to put down a couple of thousand dollars for the bathroom. His wife’s and son’s. *Sigh*
Ok, other than that we had a very good time being with Rich watching the bears even though its not really fun to watch your team lose because they can’t throw and catch, or play defense. That’s my grand summary of the whole event. Ptooey! But, we had popcorn and caramel apples. That was very nice and we huggled closely together and both took turns doing little tiny power naps. Hehehe. He was silly for a while. He was cold so he put his arms under the shirt and then he played a game where his forefinger was coming out all over to spy on me! Shoot. He got us so giggly, we couldn’t stop laughing. I think he really did sort of relax today.
That makes it a good day in my book. I figure that the movie might take me almost up to my bedtime with maybe an hour left to finish writing. I just didn’t think that I got enough of it in this weekend.
Oh yeah there was one more thing as to the day. Well, actually two. I did talk to the two boys for about 45 seconds. They were in a rush to be doing whatever they do, but at least I got the sense that Joe was doing ok. He has a lot to think through. Both think its Sensei Steve’s fault because he had not trained Joe enough. That might be part of the problem, but with attribution theory, Joe should realize that he is part at fault, then he is more likely to change the situation, because it will fall in his power. You can change yourself, but not the other. I think a lot of people try to cheat here.
I think sometimes Rich wants me to become like his helpful shadow, in that he makes most of the decisions between us. He usually makes good decisions, but like this afternoon, after the Bears, he went and turned off the TV. He said, “I think we’ve seen enough of this.” But, he didn’t ask me – he assumed I was like him. Because I see it – I think that is a good thing, but I haven’t decided what I should do about it. Often I really don’t care which way things go. Like concerning the next game sure, ok. Though if he wasn’t here, I would have left the game on. Or before dinner he suggested that I go take a shower, and then he would. Now, I think if a person wants to take a shower with you … that would be different. True, I hadn’t caught one in the morning and it was a good idea. It relaxed me and we stayed in the hot water a long time luxuriating. Wow! Luxuriating is a real word! It didn’t even strike out with the word spelling thing. Ok, well the point is … I felt relaxed and that’s a good idea BEFORE dinner. That way you can appreciate the meal better, but it was him telling me to do something rather than saying sexily would you like to freshen yourself before dinner?
We’ll give a little ten minute lecture on this probably, and he’ll be cautious for a bit, and then he’ll forget and return back to the 50’s type person he sometimes is.
Mostly, I think he belongs in this generation, but that was the second thing. We asked to talk to him for the hour before the game about things relating to where I was in work, especially with my wanting to work or not and with the grant work.
It’s sort of a matter am I going to do what would help you in your career – even though some might seem like terrible, terrible mailings, or would I like to do something that interests me terribly like my writing. He’s like if there is no point to it like you are going to sell a book by the end of the year. And, well if you can imagine that I wasn’t going for that idea. Basically, changing my working hours from MY writing to his putting stamps on envelopes and printing out labels.
Don’t know … we want him to be productive, because he shares with me, but I don’t want to live that kind of life where I have to do meaningless work. I am worth more than that to myself.
So, as you can imagine that’s going to become a bigger problem, but we’ll get through it … right now he is home again and we agreed to watch a movie … and that means more snuggling time, but it is frustrating. For now though … we’ll be back soon.
posted by Ann Marie @ 10/29/2007 05:27:00 AM
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