Chicago's the place to be!
Good morning. This is me. We’re up and moving wooHOOO!! This is Tuesday morning … so it is a CARF Day. Yup, yup that is my first thought of this period. It is about 5:10 am and we’ve been up for 40 minutes and have showered and made the cat food.
Ok, and a little front line stories. I couldn’t help but note that some woman had the remain of four of her fetuses laying about her place. Yup, yup murder … first degree. I can’t say I feel bad about that one. She deserved some serious punishment.
Other than that, we’ve cleared our screen with the exception of the pictures from the Venetian night … That is still very beautiful. It’s hard to believe sometimes that I could be here for things like that. It just seems a curiosity major that these things could exist right out my back door. Pswhoo. Breathtaking! It’s like all of Chicago is a mystery to me, because we have so much tunnel vision in just getting up, going to work, and coming home.
AHA! We found the sight …. And man-o-man … look at this list!
900 North Michigan Shops
Adler Planetarium & Astronomy Museum
Allstate Arena
Amazing Chicago Funhouse Maze
American Girl Place
American Sightseeing Tours
Anita Dee Yacht Charters
AON Center (Amoco Building)
Argosy's Empress Casino Joliet
Arie Crown Theatre
Arlington Park Racetrack
Balzekas Museum of Lithuanian Culture
Blue Chip Casino
Blue Man Group
Brookfield Zoo
Buckingham Fountain
Cernan Earth and Space Center
Chicago Air & Water Show
Chicago Apparel Center
Chicago Architecture Tours
Chicago Bears
Chicago Blackhawks
Chicago Blues Festival
Chicago Board of Trade
Chicago Botanic Garden
Chicago Bulls
Chicago Children's Museum
Chicago Cubs
Chicago Cultural Center
Chicago Fire
Chicago From the Lake
Chicago Greeter "Free Tours"
Chicago Historical Society
Chicago Mercantile Exchange Inc.
Chicago Neighborhood Tours
Chicago Place
Chicago Shakespeare Theater
Chicago Stock Exchange
Chicago Trolley Tours
Chicago White Sox
Chicago Wolves
Chicagoland Speedway
Chicago's First Lady
City Gallery at the Historic Water Tower
City Hall-County Building
Cuneo Museum & Gardens
Daley Civic Center
Donald E. Stephens Convention Center
Drury Lane Oak Brook
DuSable Museum of African-American History
ESPN Zone
Evanston Art Center
Excursions Into the Unknown
Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago
Ford Center for Performing Arts
Frank Lloyd Wright Home and Studio
Free Spirit Yacht Cruises
Gallery 37 Center of the Arts
Garfield Park Conservatory
Grand Victoria Casino
Grant Park
Gray Line Tours
Gurnee Mills
Harold Washington Library Center
Resorts East Chicago Hotel & Casino
Harrah's Casino Joliet
Hawthorn Center
Hawthorn Race Course
Hellenic Museum and Cultural Center
Hollywood Casino Aurora
Horseshoe Casino
House of Blues-Chicago
Illinois Art Gallery-Thompson Center
Illinois Railway Museum
Jackson Park
James R. Thompson Center
John Hancock Center
Jumer's Casino Rock Island
Kane County Cougars
Kohl Children's Museum
Lambs Farm
Latvian Folk Art Museum
Lederman Science Center
Lincoln Park Conservatory
Lincoln Park Zoo
Lyric Opera of Chicago
Magnificent Mile
Majestic Star Casino
Marina City
Marriott Theatre in Lincolnshire
Maywood Park Race Track
McCormick Place
Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament
Metro Duck Tours
Metropolis Performing Arts Center
Mexican Fine Arts Center Museum
Midway Airport
Millennium Park
Mitchell Museum of the American Indian
Museum of Broadcast Communications
Museum of Contemporary Art
Museum of Contemporary Photography
Museum of Science and Industry
Mystic Blue Cruises
National Vietnam Veterans Art Museum
Navy Pier
North Avenue Beach
Northbrook Court
Northwestern Station/Ogilvie Transportation Center
Oak Brook Center
Oak Street Beach
Odyssey Cruises
O'Hare International Airport
Old Orchard
Orchestra Hall
Oriental Institute Museum
Osaka Garden
Palwaukee Airport
Par-A-Dice Casino
Pheasant Run Theater
Polish Museum of America
Prairie Center for the Arts
Ravinia Festival
Robie House
Rosemont Theatre
Route 66 Raceway
Santa's Village
Schaumburg Flyers
Seadog Speedboat Cruises
Sears Tower
Sears Tower Skydeck
Second City Theatre
Shedd Aquarium
Shops at the Mart
Shoreline Sightseeing
Six Flags Great America
Skyline Stage at Navy Pier
Smith Museum of Stained Glass Windows at Navy Pier
Soldier Field
Spertus Museum of Judaica
Spirit of Chicago
State Street
Swedish American Museum Center
Taste of Chicago
The Apollo Theatre
The Art Institute of Chicago
The Auditorium Theatre
The Cadillac Palace Theatre
The Chicago Athenaeum
The Chicago Theater
The Chicago Water Tower
The David & Alfred Smart Museum of Art
The Field Museum
The Goodman Theatre
The Hancock Observatory
The Isle of Capri Casino
The Merchandise Mart
The Morton Arboretum
The Peace Museum
The Peggy Notebaert Nature Museum
Westfield North Bridge
The Shubert Theatre
Time Escape at Navy Pier
Tony N' Tina's Wedding
Trump Casino
Tweeter Center
Ukrainian National Museum
Union Station
United Center
US Cellular Field - Comiskey Park
Venetian Night
Water Tower Place
Wendella Sightseeing
Woodfield Shopping Mall
Woodstock Opera House
Wrigley Field
I checked out Chicago free greeter … and for 1-6 people at a time (December for local people), this group will send you out to see the city with a local expert and it doesn’t cost anything … this is stuff that we need to know about. The list is fantastic! All part of a plan that I feel like taking on to become more Chicago literate so we can have our people out and visiting proper. A good many of these places you can do for a low or nothing cost. I know the Venetian one listed that we just went to was a night event, but again another no cost – except for parking event. Just so gosh darn much to do for people that live here. We need to make sure our people our environmentally and culturally aware.
Hmm, I seemed to spend the best part of this hour thumbing through all this, but could you see where we might get excited?! AHA! Sister just signed on. She’ll now maybe open the list we just sent her. 5:54 am … funny thing to be in communication with the boss so early in the day … I know its been that way for a long time, but wow. This is pretty darn neat thing about working at SRC.
Hmm, work … that seems to be a pretty big deal now days. We stayed late again last night because Rich had a ball game and wasn’t getting home until about 10 pm. We have a little problem there in that one of us is leaving off the covers so he will come by and tuck us in. That’s probably not a real good idea … have to watch that.
But ………..
Anyway we stayed at work, an even through the majority of the day … we focused on taking care of the Paper Tiger organization AND we think we resolved a major project in how to set-up or develop the program. We have to formalize it and send it to Sr. Theresa for revision thoughts, and she might not go for it at all. This is why its so important that we communicate to her the project well. We were looking for a new direction for the start of the fall program in September. I don’t know why that date, but it seems like a marker point. Sr. says I won’t get by with not teaching DSPs for long … just over the summer. We are going to need kicking back into gear for the Thinking Group too. We might take her up on her thought to do each the every other week. I don’t know how serious about that she was.
I will wait until I formalize a bit the plan, but I tell ya … last night if I weren’t so tired I’d of kissed everyone on my way home from work. It felt very, very good. I’m afraid to look at it now minutes away from waking Rich because after I open it there will be so much to be doing. Hehehe … I can bet that Sweetie Pie never got walk-to-the-bathroom rubs in his old life. We took the few moments to get him up and then were saying loudly with a wave WOOHOOO its morning! Yep, yep … certainly good to see the new day. I should probably get dressed now that he’s out of the bedroom … one more sip of coffee, hold on 6:09 now.
Venetian Night! (Double Click on Pictures)
Good morning. This is me … we’re late into a Sunday morning. We’ve been up with Sweetie Pie for a bit. We’ve been watching the Sunday morning CBS morning show.
He’s calling his mother now, but it seems like she’s still in bed. Hmm, that’s odd. It’s already 9:30 am. *Sigh* I guess when you are older you get to make those life choices. I know when I’m tired I’ll sleep no matter what time of the
day, but in general, I still like getting up to do things.
This morning we’ve taken our shower done some news reading, but haven’t thought much beside being around my snoozy friend. He’s such a huge turn-on. I’m not sure what he’s goin to do next, but it seems that we are turning the cards. If he continues to watch TV, I might do the headphones with some music so I can concentrate. We’ve left off with work stuff that feels left in the air. And, I think the tv is turning more to politics. There’s only so much of that I can take. Hmm, seems we’re still floating over to the picture we left in our blog yesterday of the state room with an ocean view. I told Sweetie about it a few moments ago. Just wanted to let him know we’re getting serious about this life-style change again and that the thought of a cruise is inspiring me. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do.
I want to tell you about something though that was pretty cool in more recent events. Last night Sweetie got us out to go downtown for the Venetian night and fireworks off “the point” across from Navy Pier. This guy. I don’t know … he keeps getting more and more spectacular. He wasn’t sure going into it what the parking and crowds would be like, but we tried to relax through it. We didn’t want to get caught up in our own sense of panic. Recently, we’d hurt our leg … think we said that before, but the point was that we weren’t sure if we were up to things. The other place that was so good for parking was closed up at the time, but we got the handicap parking under Soldiers Field stadium, which wasn’t too bad. It was right next to an elevator and only took a couple of up periods. I tried not to complain, but it gets rough at the end of the period of being up. I didn’t want though after we got to the point go any closer to the crowds toward the boat parade. Sweetie let it go.
We stayed up at the top of the stone plateaus so that it was easy to get to without going to deep into things so that helped. I think we got down there about 8:00.
Sweetie had stopped by a sandwich place to get sandwiches and we got ice for the ice water. The first place we parked the chair and us was too close when a family came up who were loud and aggressive. No boundaries. So we moved a tree and a half down. And, then another big group of couples came in who’d been drinking and again were very loud. So we moved down another tree. Finally, we had found a quieter space. It seems a strange thing that some people could be so loud that they were invasive of everyone around them. They seem just ignorant, but I guess that’s all part of being a part of a big city … there are all kinds of people trying to get along.
There was so much to see down there. Our view included … oh wait … hold on I have a few pictures!
These are the best pictures. We didn’t take very many, because of the darkness, but I feel I got a couple really good memory holders. It seems the first part starts with the planes. I think they are like something angels? I’m not sure … Rich told us that they were older fighter planes I think. It looks like in the picture there were 6, but there was really 7 and they passed by a couple of times. I think the colors are a little too reddish, but now seeing it I couldn’t say what the sky really looked like because we were so intent on getting the camera out on time. You couldn’t really hear the sound until they were going right past us. It’s a beautiful sight.
The second picture was directly in front of us … behind the barrier was where all the Venetian boats were. And, behind the barrier is Navy Pier where they have the really cool stuff including a Ferris wheel. Rich says that most the tall building you see are residences, and the building directly on the left side is the Shedd Aquarium. The part where we were at is part of the Chicago museum campus. The water was phenomenal. The weather was a little chilly and there was a good wind blowing in from the NE. I don’t know if you can catch how cool it is to be a part of this city with so much to be amazed over. It is very exciting and much different than the bedroom community I grew up in MN … there the big deal was the soft ice cream sold at the city fair under the water tower and behind the soft ball field.
It’s just a unique world that is hard to believe if you don’t get out to see it periodically. I never did this kind of stuff when we were married or with the kids. I feel very bad about that.
The third shot is a better of the Shed aquarium … the front of that building facing Lake Michigan is these huge glass windows and you can see part of the aquarium in the reflection of the glass. I always like the grass area that we are sitting, because it is like auditorium seating in the way it slopes down to the stone terraces. This is when we view left, and then the fourth picture is our view to the left. There were a lot more boats in the water as the night went on and the picture just doesn’t do enough detail as to how many families are down on the other end. At the end of the point is the planetarium. Hmm, now I can see right in the middle of the picture you can see a guy with a white shirt selling the colored plastic light deals. There wasn’t too much selling, but a couple people were into it. At the very center right of the picture, you can get a glimpse of an ambulance behind the tree line … that’s where the road was … it wasn’t open to traffic except the police people and ambulance. We felt very protected as to being in such a popular spot.
Rich said that on the place right across from the boats and on Navy Pier it is standing room only and that some people get down there 5-6 hours early to stake their spot.
And then the next two pictures are obviously a couple of the fireworks shots. It’s pretty hard to get shots of fireworks we found. They were really exciting and we were being just delighted. By this time, Rich was leaning on our legs (keeping them warm he said), but in general we were being allowed to massage him and the feeling of his body seeing the sights above. I think that the thumping of our heart was being pressed into his skin. We of course had the wheel chair and he decided not to bring a chair. I reminded him just now that we should purchase one of those chairs in a bag. And, he smiled warmly and stammered something about liking the way … and then we were both smiling in delight. Again, we invited him to sit in front of us after we’d been messaging him from the right. Moving directly in front of us gave us the ability to manage his shoulders, upper back, neck, and head. Thank goodness when out and about he doesn’t care about us mussing his hair. It’s just so gosh darn romantic. And then again there was this going on …
Hmm, we’ve gone through a couple of thoughts now from the background stuff especially centering on Chicago from the politics down in Springfield to the mob/gangster scene to the publication of Chicago through the mass complex of our convention center. Kind of getting a Chicago head rush. Yes, yes .. you can believe it that people in Chicago consider themselves the center of the world. How am I going to step back now from all this excitement. I don’t think I could top it although I have to get moving on toward something.
Ok, that was a shaky moment … We had to make it over the hump where we were going from TV shows – news and special interest back to music. Rich had left on a cartoon about saving liberty and by then it was kinda like it MUST be time to turn off the TV. I think he must be turned into the video aspects of it. It’s just like this distraction. I was enjoying the stories, but it is a guilty pleasure in something we’ve sworn off in that we want to be more in control of our mind. Usually music plays on our emotions, but that has to be sidled up to will of thought. Ok, ok … whichever we just switched to I’ve got to go back to something else quieter now. Could someone else please take over? Where are those romantics ..
AHA! Nakid butt just ran past … this is what we’re talking about … what a wonderful world.
Flash over to big screen picture of the fire works. Yes, that will do nicely. It’s about 11:30. Sweetie will probably want to do lunch after he gets out of the shower. Just between you and us? I think he is in completion with time I spend alone writing. Even if we are writing about him. With the television our attention is being shared on the same thing his attention is … even though he was multi-tasking by doing his expense account. Like before we sat down here, he made a comment on the question of getting his massage for the rest of the morning. Hehehe we’ve spoiled him. *Sigh*
I’m not sure how much to invest yet in where we would like to go … we might want to trace over how far we’d gotten yesterday. I’m not sure where Rich is going next, but we did say that we were going to do something with his grant today. I need to put in more reading and practice time. We will need to become more firm with that before we try to organize him to our speed. Last night it came up just briefly. He was saying that he was going to have to allow us more control. We’d been kinda waiting for that … mostly because we need to organize it. He says that Sisters been giving him hints that he’s got to prove himself worthwhile this year, because and here she hints again that she could be gone after this year. I think in that case that we are all going to need promoting ourselves. Sure don’t know what we’d do without St. Rose. No where could have been developed by us to be more perfect.
We’ve developed around sister and the two have become for the most part one direction. She’s holding up for me to lead, but I have to be serious with my time in finding those special niches that will longstand her time and mine. It’s time to make a mark on the field. Just as far as we go though on the south side of Chicago.
I’m sure there are other agencies doing more for the bigger populations, but now Rich is saying that they are trying to take down three of our bigger non-profits that work with the DD population because they are too institutionalized. They think that is going back to families and community life, but no one is supporting payment of that yet. And, we’re going nowhere with the present governor. We’ve just heard on the news that Madigan who is the center’s super hero is vying for a leadership position to get his daughter who is the state’s head legal prosecutor … forget maybe office of inspector general. … anyway Madigan wants his daughter to run for governor. I think the family has a big enough name, perhaps with enemies, but from the perspective on the populace he has enough name recognition to get her in. I think our republicans are lightweights so a different democrat could get in. The Governor is lousy and unrealistic. They talk about him as the guy that refuses to even walk into the capital. There is something lame about that … I don’t think he’s even pretending to try blending in … he’s been on his own planet ever since voted in. He’s a jerk.
Ok, where did that come from … just that it’s kinda tense in Illinois because we are so close to having services cut down because the governor can’t get over himself.
He’s willing to let the people suffer. I just don’t get the guy … think he’s a dirty politician on a power trip. He’s trying to make us believe that he’s going to do something for others when its jus a game to him. I believe in Madigan and that his decisions include what is good for us all. It maybe something too in that just a couple of months ago he visited with the center on our turf. Plus he’s the one that paid for my office to be built … you can be sure that we’re going to give him our support. Lot different than a governor who says, developmental disabilities – what’s that?
Ok, ok shhhh. We’re going to get over our insulted feelings on that score. I think if his daughter ran that we’d have to get out there and really work for him. He’s done his share …
I do want to say something that I find in general very interesting … it’s the part of JVS not getting very far in their accreditation this year. They only earned one year where the norm is to earn 3 years like we did. I know that St. Mary’s went through it before too where they had only earned one year. I think this last time though they got their three year. Rich asked us if we were interested in reading the CARF evaluation from JVS … this was last night. Man-o-man can you believe it that we were interested in reading it. I’d like to collect the insights from the entire South side set of CARF evaluations. I know that our CSO is going to make it because the head of that organization is into CARF. Sister believes enough in me to give me the chance to make CARF real at our place. Last night after finishing JVS report in the car … Rich through out the line for our active involvement if we want to earn him some points as to correcting the problems his company is facing. He’s actually looking very realistically on where to jump in case JVS goes down. He says that the leadership will most likely retire this year. What they do … it will be a curiosity.
JVS is pretty posh up on the top and they support their empire on the backs of little people without showing much obvious regard for them. I think they need to have an entire attitude adjustment. I think he said that his boss was in charge of the CARF stuff … so Rich is really in a good position to help, but I think he’s on the outs with the upper corp people, because he could be feeding into his own bad attitude. I think the Corp knows Rich is valuable in the work he does, but they think of him as just a working guy … he doesn’t do the suit and tie routine and socialize as if he’s got an estate. We really need to talk about the problems with attitude. I tried just a twinkle of it last night … I really introduced how easy it is for Rich to become upset. He was upset about not knowing the parking last night and he was upset about not being allowed into the lot. He took it as an issue with his thoughts against the reality. He didn’t get in on his special graced position.
That might seem kind of harsh for Rich, but we both need to start figuring it out if we’re going to get anywhere. I thought the first time he was teasing, but by the second time, I realized he really did want to do something or at least put down some plan of attack on the CARF stuff. I asked if JVS was going to hire a specialist and he said no. That would seem to be a problem. They really do need some serious help. I don’t know what their level of commitment is, but they don’t seem to have walked down the CARF priorities, and it might be because their management hasn’t given some one the power to make the needs meet the solutions.
I’m really confused in some ways in that Rich thinks I could really help to turn JVS around. I don’t have any special tricks to teach JVS to behave itself. But, I think they could really use a dedicated person to be doing the work. Not someone smart enough to run the company, but someone dedicated to be getting things done. I suppose that would mean having the power of someone like Rich’s boss behind you.
Everything then would have to be proofed by him, because he really could take a controlling leadership position because of it. CARF demands that the whole of the organization is behind itself and they aren’t working over non-communicating divisions, where the uppidy-up is just busy ordering lunches. There is so much very interesting stuff that they were saying its just pretty inicredible. I’m shocked with how brutal the CARF people were with JVS. It is certain that we’re going to push that Sister get a copy of the report and recommendations. I think she has to see something like that to impress how good our organization really is. I think I would like to read over the JVS report and then go back over ours to tie together how we got over the humps that JVS missed. It seemed almost to insult the integrity of the inspectors. They were just very non-plused about them.
Rich is pretty cool in that aspect … he knows a whole lot about what goes on at the working level. I think he doesn’t have a large share of his bosses confidence with the exception of getting the workshops to work. It’s a lot different with my boss – being Sr. Theresa. She gives me a lot of room – especially toward the end in letting me right the reports that I thought we would need to get past the hard spots. I have to learn better though on how to get to the smaller things done.
Like it seemed to be a trend island that we’d get in trouble for the subpoenas and
search warrants. JVS got that recommendation too. It seems purposeful that our inspector left off on the Performance analysis, but the JVS one came down hard on that and their business improvement reports. It was like no one just did this stuff over at JVS? Man … I think they need someone to take responsibility who was a male. Males command attention. I don’t know why, but it seems they’ve been hiring a bunch of women who didn’t know what they were doing … women who get high positions, but don’t have the confidence of their peers who are micromanaging their own special projects.
I literally don’t think I have enough intelligence to do what needs to be done, I could see they really need some help fast. But, there are so many other things to be doing. We need to help Rich with his St. Rose position, especially if there is going to be a take-over in the larger sister-hood. I think that Sister is trapped by the same kind of thing from her boss. They are into their position and their insight so they forget that there are others out there that are making decisions that don’t include them.
This last week there was an important annual meeting for all the sisters of the order who came together to talk about their organizations. Sister came back pretty frustrated with it and then later Sr. Margaret Mary came back to give me the lowdown from her end. We probably divulged more than we should of to her, but I have the sense that she is a heavy hitter at the corporate game. She’s going up the ladder where Sr. Theresa is going down the ladder due to her age. She’s been good for St. Rose because she’s done so much with it and she’s got a good staff and she’s given up to the other sisters, but apparently she was too proud with this and it put off other sisters. Just like Rich is to high on his ideas that aren’t inclusive of their world, so he’s going to come off badly in front of upperups.
Sr. MM let me know that she’s going up and probably to the level of doing business matters for the Rome Sisters. That could be very helpful down the line and we need to watch ourselves in that we will not abandon Sr. Theresa, but we do have to look over the future. We compared thoughts for quite a bit. And, then not too much longer Sr. Theresa came back to check on things. She knows that Sr. MM and us talking would be like a sign of betrayal. I really have to come up with something to impress her – but most would, but something that will work on the larger sister order, because that is really our biggest audience. There is a lot of sisters out there with a great amount of people experience, so I can’t imagine having something that much more special than they already have in place. I have been given opportunities though, because Sr. has shared so much with me as to program and business. I think we’re not so good, but then we passed CARF to levels that a big corporation like JVS didn’t and the places that JVS went down were predictable by Rich.
He’s got to get over the attitude thing … so does sister … we’ve got to approach this situation head on, but in a group comitte Barack O’Brama manner. We have to move with the times, which is why it is so important for us not to worry anymore about creating our world, but by adapting the leaders positions that of Schalock and Wehmeyer. I’ve got to put in more serious time to reading and writing and putting in long hours when Rich is busy doing other things. Even things like where we are going today. I think after lunch Rich and Us have to commit real work time together, where we are working like co-partners … For sure he’s the leader, but he’s got to work with me, because my ideas seem to be proving out as valid. I don’t have a lot of condidence in myself, but then that would become my taking on my own problems. It’s important that the problems get resolved like our issues of moving, weight, and dying. I think this will be an important thing between us and Dr. Marvin. And, I’m sure as hell hoping that our confidence in the hypnotism is going to pay out, because I believe that if I’m going down I can inspire Rich to be doing the same. I think that is what he is hoping too. In that he mentions it often.
He’s looking for personal leadership from me. I think that this one paper that I read last night is just the framework for things that top the news in the DD world, but I don’t know how many organizations have grasped the bull’s ring. That’s what I would like to do. I couldn’t or chose not to do it through education, because for whatever reasons, but part of that is the immediacy … I don’t have the time to go through 10 years … though that would have been ideal, especially if it had been done 20 years ago. I am going to have to pull myself up which means doing the reading, writing and ground work … I think that is in general taking in information like the kind that can be provided by Rich. He’s really the key to so many things, we need to learn to work together, mostly like we love together. Hehehe maybe we’ve learned that already, because here we are working and he’s in the kitchen making us a sandwich.
Ok, girl be careful there … that be like robbing someone’s cradle, right? Remember what Sister Rose Mary said … “Are you taking credit for God’s Work?” So many times I do this and we get lost on our personal stuff where we aren’t helping anyone.
Hmm, before we forget here too we should go back to where we last left off in our heady stuff. Back to where we were working with goals and objectives. Where we were working with self-determination and self-regulation. Man-o-man that’s where the beauty lies. And, if we play our cards right and get done with the little work, AND get down some master plan – according to material just framed then maybe we can make a real difference by becoming a place that the little world of the Srs. Or south Chicago has become.
Hmm, that was a tough session. I think Rich was saved by the phone ringing and then he shot out the door to go shopping. I can’t say I know all of what’s going on, but I think sometimes I know important stuff. We told Rich he was dealing with a hurt child. He did the thing we are trying to tell him about someone not wanting to listen to him, and then when he got on the phone he did it again with his son. He said though that he would think about it. We talked about working with the corporation or better the concept of cooperating or collaborating … collaborating is one of the giant words at this point. That’s why we like Barack O’bama. He’s for collaboration. Rich wants to be thinking in black or white … if you ask his opinion he wants to then do it his way … he’s not seeing that people like to think for themselves and pick and choose the knowledge that they accept. But, he’s got to learn to work with people where they are at not his angry child position. That is what’s keeping him back. Angry children don’t work with anyone. They take the ball home so nobody can play. I asked them do you protect your boss and he said that he wants to be the only one to protect him. So, ok I buy that because he’s pretty tightly wrapped, but he’s now in a vulnerable position.
I asked Rich for time to work together. Just to be put on his schedule. He changed the subject several times and then cried Sunday is his day not to think about it and that he’d put in his time already. But then, he said, maybe between 5 and 6 pm tonight and that we could do Monday mornings between 5 an 6. I think both of us get tired during the week, but his theory was that if he could get up to go fishing, he could get up to work at least once a week. I need to learn more of how to communicate to him. The only way I knew to do it in the short space he was going to give me was to make my points quickly then back out. Cuz then its like being with the wounded child. He cried basically no fair and that he didn’t like to be psychoanalyzed, I guess I don’t think of it as this is what we’re doing, but we need to come to common grounds. He was already ready to throw most of it over to me, where that’s not what I’m looking for … I want to organize it, but I don’t have his knowledge or his stability. He’s going to have to keep being the anchor. That throwing of it over is his trademark all or none. I told him that we’d have to figure out what we are working on. Are we working on St. Rose, JVS, New Hope, CARC, Abe Lincoln. Whatever?! He’s got his fingers in so many pies; we need to strengthen his position. We told him that we knew he wanted to be the face, which mean we give him the credit, but he said that he wants to be the face only at St. Rose and that at the other places we can be more partners. I told him that we needed to able to work as well as we made love.
I think my guy can handle all of that. I just have to wait now to check his response. I know that he can bury me in it … once during the conversation he cut it back to me as in speaking that he was the coach and that we were going to work on me. But, we rejected that we were going to be worked on. We told him the only one you can change is yourself. Apparently that also hit a nerve because it is about the same thing his daughter told him. We are being left more and more out of those conversations – that and the other kids and friends. I think he figures that we are figuring out too much, but then that might be a reason to worry about me figuring out our problems. One of which is a time scheduling problem. We better figure out what we’re going to do for our 5 pm meeting. It’s 1:30 pm now. We have to figure out what to do with the grant next because I’m pretty sure we’ll have to go there … Rich is really worrying about fixing his position. I talk about one place though and he diffuses his attention well we need to write grants for so and so. Hmm, maybe our first chore than is to write down all the variables that we are dealing with.
I’m thinking that this is a good idea, and I’m wondering if there is instructions we might make use of that we’ve already read about … he talks about all these pies, but we need to consolidate the work. We are going to need labeling it and then forming strategy for each – somewhat like we do at the center during our administration meetings. Line items. Hmm, bet there is something here in the grant book, hold on … let me look.
Ok, our first conversation going back from the start is going to be avoiding project problems. It then gives us guiding principles. They are:
Grant seeking is a team sport.
Members of the grant-seeking team need certain skills.
The grant-seeking team needs resources with which to work.
The grant-seeking team needs training and support.
Grant seeking is a project itself and as such must have goals, guiding principles, and action plans.
The grant-seeking effort needs a management plan.
Good good so far. I had gotten the team thing from the last reading. I think there are forms to interview for skills. And there is a check-list that discusses the resources. And, we figure that if we are going to be a grant-writing business we are going to get good at it. Which means learning to establish the goals – big Ann word – guiding principles and action plans. I’m thinking that a collection of all the above is the management plan. But, we’re figuring we have a hell of a lot to figure out. The book says that the time we are going to need comes from sharing the responsibilities in the form of a team. I think we are going to have to put all the players down and whether or not they know it yet, parts of the team are going to be the different center and organizations that we are affiliated with.
Ok, the next thing we do is get together the team mostly based on attitude, outlook, and personality. I wonder in saying this who Rich considers his allies. I’ve only got 3 business allies and they are Sr., Rich, and Dr. Marvin. I would have at one point thought Brandi more helpful, but she’s limited. It’s going to be a question if the new Q becomes an ally. She’s too young right now, but should be watched for inclusion. That would be the ideal and when I think of it even Holly can be brought in though I don’t really know anymore how she uses her time.
Shoot why does my music keep cutting in and out. We changed from work computer to home computer and tried both AOL and Musicmatch … and on all four variables there are problems. Why can’t we just hear the music. It’s distracting. Am I doing something wrong or different? I suppose we’ll need to let that go and get back to business … sorry.
Ok, but maybe if we went down Rich’s list we would find people that could work with us in different capacities. Sort of like a librarian helping everyone that calls on her. I think there are people that help. Like Bob can be an ally sort of like how V used to be an ally. Maybe we can look for people just on the basis of attitude, outlook and personality. This might even mean Rich taking back his friend Doug to work with him. That is if Doug isn’t burying himself otherwise. Don’t know how all that is going.
Grant-seekers have to be self-motivated. Well, I guess that’s why I’m here and Rich is covering groceries and dinner. Ok, next? Ahh that’s an important element … we have to be set on doing good, rather than on financial gain or other rewards, though we know that that is nice too, especially if Rich wants his house overlooking the lake and a retirement cottage. WooHOOO!!! Hehehe oh yeah and we gotta have a sense of humor … On target! Part of that is not taking ourselves over-seriously … Sort of how like MS champion Bill Gates always has that smile-thing going on. Ok, check-out so far. Needing to have a positive, can-do attitude and outlook … we’re working on this with Dr. Marvin … trying not to kill ourselves. Again working toward the things we can change. Innovative – pushing the envelope – that helps – at least the part of taking on the game. We’ll need to work on our ability to visualize. We start that by gaining information on how processes work and people think. We need to stop complaining … that goes for both Rich and us. I’m the weaker on handling failure, but we can take Rich’s lead on that one. Sense of worth has to come from ourselves and we can’t give up on this fact … We are worthy to be here. Dammit!
Failure can be a problem of the ideas and proposals not based on who I am specifically. Or, if I’m a multiple.
So in total –
Self-motivation
Well-developed sense of humor
Positive, can-do attitude
An innovative mind
Pusher-doer disposition
Lack of fear of failure
A sense of self-worth from within
Now the actual project …
• Project design
• Funding source research
• Project development
• Proposal writing
• Proposal publishing
• Partnership building
• Marketing
• Public relations
• Others
General categories of grant seeking research
• Funding sources
• Verification of the problem
• Justification of the solution
Hmm, some day I’m going to have to pay bills … we just ordered a couple of books … well actually 3 books. All from the same author with the title of Grantseeker’s Toolkit. Our book referred to it as specific and detailed directions for tracking down research. We’re going to need that … the other books were on how to do the budgeting and how to write the grant proposal … hope that isn’t one we’ve already ordered. I better check. Whooops we got one of them let me see if I can change the order … that will save about $35. Oh man their server went down. At least that’s what it says at aol and Firefox. Well, I’m either going to get to take it off or not … I hope we can remember later tonight to take a look before it ships. Hmm, the book says we may need to do research to see if our problem has a solution, but we don’t have access anymore to research tools. That may be a problem. We could also use examples from the various other agencies in Chicago.
Anyway … the next thing would be to develop the project by moving the problem to being a “problem-solving action plan (project).” Hmm Leaders attributes must be patient and diplomatic. Someone to coordinate the effort (multiple people, order, and deadlines). I think that is going to be me and our super new system of organization. There needs to be someone too for the administrative position … Hmm ability to organize and track information and resources. That will have to be me too. Archives (past projects or proposals), tracking funding source research, project development, proposal creation. All this is administration. Ok, lets see … we should make this two positions unless there are more. Maybe Rich should be the leader and we’ll be the administrator. Hmm, and the last is someone to write clearly and simply. That’s going to me so we’ll have to practice writing better.
Ok, repeat? Clear and simple! Umm next paragraph.
We better not put me on the costs committee. Terrible with money.
So far … Rich is the Leader, we are the administrator and writer. So we’ll have to tell Rich he is to be patient and diplomatic and coordinate people, general order, and deadlines. That seems fair. Umm, our Leader is over on the couch though snoring through the baseball game. Is that what leaders are supposed to do on Sundays? Hmpf! But, he does snore cute and IS making steak and corn for dinner!
Ok, Ann this is a clue to writing grants.
• Simple
• Short
• Direct
• Descriptive
• Well-organized sentences and paragraphs
We don’t have a real choice of our big players, so we better learn quick to adapt ourselves to the chores involved.
Each of the team members must have or be able to share criteria of being
• Self-motivated
• Sense of humor
• Positive attitude
• Innovative
• Mentally flexible
• A pusher, a doer
• Unafraid fo failure
• Inner self-worth
• And have skills of
• Research
• Project planning
• Leadership
• Coordination
• Administration
• Writing
And we could go also as to asking experience with grant seeking and proposal writing. I think we’re good so far.
Ahh wow! Look at this part too … Team Skills what a line-up!
• Research
• Problem solving
• Facilitation
• Outlining
• Organization of ideas
• Organization of process
• Organization of project
• Budget development
• Leadership
• Coordination
• Tracking information
• Tracking resources
• Writing clearly and simply
Pretty cool to be thinking of organization separately of ideas, process, and project. I think I’d like to try this pretty soon in our system of Paper Tiger
Hmm, have the old version .. that’s ok we’ll play with it. Aha we DO have the new version.
Ok, this has gotten serious. We’re looking into working with this project differently if I have to be organized and efficient I have to take notes in the Paper Tiger … I’ll be over here.
Hmm, did we even get started?
Good morning. We are working out the typing with the kitty. It is 8:15 am. We’ve been up for about an hour. We had a late night last night. We stayed up and waited for fishyman. He Stayed out til after midnight because he was at a ball game with his son. He watched the White Sox win … wooohooo! We started giving him a good rub down, but soon after we started doing these big yawns and then we let ourselves be tucked in by him. Umm, we’re giving him a sense of purpose? Well I’m not sure about that, but it sure feels good to be tucked in. Plus there was a little smooching in the process. *Sigh* Life is good.
Hmm, our head is pretty mellow. Just those soft mushy feelings. We figured out how to get our Yahoo Musicmatch to work at home and we’ve got on love songs. Eh, it’s the mood. Missy is petted pretty much by now … she’s left. I don’t think we’ll have too much time before mushy face gets up. He’s infamous for getting up no later than 8:30 am and even that is a rare treat. I keep making up excuses to walk past his bedroom and look at his sleep feet – one off the edge of the bed and the other stretched out in another direction. He’s got the soft covers all askew. And, the bed is making soft quiet breathing noises. I just love him to pieces.
*Double sigh* Hmm, we’re not getting to far here this morning.
Ok, ok girls … we need to focus. We can do this, right? We have our braces on this morning because we anticipate some good typing. We’ll stop when fishy face is up, but then pick it up again. He’s going to be umping a double header this afternoon.
I know … he works … we play. It’s the sort of way things go. He has a pretty cool
life and we’re admiring him for doing what he can. I hope to be/get better so we can share space in there where we are going places with him too. Still have our eye on that opportunity to go on a cruise ship with him. Sure would like to have a room with a balcony cruising around the room. I’m sure we’ll need a little space.
AHA! This is what we’re talking about … balcony! And for sure we wouldn’t get the one with the obstructed view.
Hmm, it is now a bit after. It’s almost 11 am. We’ve had kind of a rocky couple hours. Some of it was excellent, but there was a part out who didn’t think it was so excellent. She had a melt-down.
Basically, at 9 am, we went into snookies bedroom and slowly woke him up. We figured he’d have things to do and he’d had 8 hours of sleep, so that was fair enough. Something happened and we talked some and then he was on the computer, then to the washroom, dressed and out the door for errands. But, somehow all that became unsettling to us. I think it was because he was saying stuff like what we were going to do again. He had thought through a plan to take us to Lake Michigan and catch Saturday Fireworks after having a sandwich down there, but he hadn’t checked into our walking and we’ve had special problems today because we got hurt in the back of our knees – so been hard on us all week. And, then he was talking about cleaning up and he was talking about us looking at the mail. And, it all became overwhelming. We had on a terrible face and then went under for about 10-15 minutes. It wasn’t long and it seemed to have helped. We followed him to the bedroom, and then he left. He came back for a minute with the mail and we were caught trying to pickup which is something we would prefer to do after he was gone so he didn’t add too my work. Like we were picking up the computer table and had our hands full of the dishes because we were going to start that, but then he wanted me to take something more. And, it was enough! Leave us alone! Well, we didn’t say that, but that’s the attitude we were feeling. Plus, I didn’t want to get the mail because there would be birthday cards and I wasn’t in the mood for all of that.
Ok, working on that mood thing. I picked up the living room and kitchen, managed my clothes, took a shower and got dressed. I think I’m ahead of the game now. Things seem to get in a standstill after the dishwasher is hooked up … we could say it impedes. Ahh nuf said there. Basically, we just got a hold the better mood when he comes in and starts pushing us around to do this or that. I should put away some clean clothes and towels, but that will have to wait for another up time.
Oh no … our problem possum is back. Let’s see … its 11:21 … lets see how long he can go before he tells me to do something. La-da-da-da-da. I’m sitting here innocently. I’m not sure what he’s doin exactly .. whoops … here.
Hmm, he’s hunting down missing gym shoes. I didn’t take them. He seems to lose a lot of stuff. I don’t know how that happens. He’s always looking for something.
We like best when he looks for us.
AHA! So far so good … 11:32. He is sitting in the cleaned-up living room with computer and doing bills. The curtains are open now and we’ve just turned to our own projects. He’s watered the flowers. He’s on the phone with his accountant … something of an underpayment to the government … Yeeks. That sound bad. It’s just another thing that he’s got to take care of … he’s a good handler.
He talked about his daughter and son for a few moments. Things are going pretty good for one, but the other seems to be heading for more problems. There’s problems with a niece too. Rich just paid her $400 phone bill and apparently she’s not working. Yeeks. There’s hard stuff out there. That reminded me that things are in interim with our boys too. Maury is looking for a new job. Lauren has gotten a promotion to manager of her place, and Joe was interviewing this week for a new job. I think a lot of it has to do with wanting or needing more money. I don’t think any of the kids between Rich and us really know what they want to do. They are just looking for an income to support themselves. That’s fair at their age, but I feel bad that they have to go through anxiety in creating the necessary changes.
I don’t feel real invested in the changes they are going through. When we meet, they tell us how it is going and we look forward to the little things they ask like Maury gave us his resume to check over. There wasn’t much changing, because it was very good. He’s a smart boy! He’s taken on a lot of stress positions and seems to be the best family man that I know … besides Rich he’s pretty good at staying on top of things with family. Maury volunteering to be his kindergarten daughter’s soccer coach. Wow! That is something very special that I’m very proud of him for. Good Maury!
Maybe I could call and check things out? Well, that was brief. I left a message with Maury and Joe talked to me for about 1 min 20 seconds. He said he got the new job with his friend Alex. We asked him what he’d be doing, but he was playing a game … he just said it didn’t matter what the job, just that it was paying $14 an hour instead of $8 an hour. I think that puts him around almost $30,000 a year instead of $17,000. That’s a pretty substantial jump. I like that he’s working with his friend too. I’m not sure, but I think Maury might be trying something on that order too. I think both boys have to get used to the hours, especially Maury.
Maury puts in a full day, but I think he has had time to work on leisure. He’s around a computer so he plays on the computer, but then that wouldn’t be much different than us. Well, as much as we worry about them, we’re not going to worry too much. They are smart kids … they just have to try and they seem to be fitting in with whatever has to be getting done. If we worried about anything, I would worry about Maury on the credit cards. That’s difficult, but I think its difficult because there are two of them having similar high spending habits. Welcome to traditional USA. Think it happens with a lot of people like that. We’ve been there, done that.
Ok, so now we’re going to be moving on. We’ve got music on, sweetie behind us, and we’re at the keyboard on a Saturday writing. It doesn’t get any better than that. Just need to figure out what to be thinking next.
I guess we’re going to work then … that’s what we’ve been edging up toward. There was a big project this week that was inspired somewhat by the times and somewhat because of the new Q. I think she got done with sufficient work this week, but the other thing was that she and I both fell into projects of organizing our desks. She was asked by sister to go shopping to an office supply store. So, they went. My understanding was that it was a $400 dollar trip, and Candace had a wonderful time.
We’d gone over with her previous through the Internet and a catalogue things that she might need. She had a complete list. Hehehe … I got a couple of things … but not too major. I got CDRW disks – a spindle, and I got some of my mini-clips – these were in color too. That’s enough to throw off my center, but we figured that we should take it calm. I know matching obsessions. *Sigh*
We did a lot of cleaning, though we didn’t go through the entire office. By that I mean we filled-up three office garbages of heavy papers. We had things in the file back from 1999 when we first got there, but all of it is dead files, nothing we need. Or, mostly. We went through 3 of our deep file drawers. There is more space, but that was the heaviest concentration of stuff. There was a lot of stuff, just a bunch of dead stuff. I felt like I was coming out of my cocoon. We salvaged about 4-5 inches of stuff that might be valuable in current time. There was a small brief piece of time where we were sitting back and looking at all those empty spaces. Each of them had about 20-30 hanging files with tabs. It took some thinking and we’re not all the way done with the projects. But, we made an substantial distance in that we were finding ourselves switching over to the Paper Tiger System .. it didn’t start that way, but we gained the confidence to go into it … somewhat blindly, because we didn’t really want to lose our system with the journal and the dots. That was a hard one to think through, so we just finally started throwing caution to the winds figuring we’d think through it and it would be ok.
Wow! I’m back. This is certainly going to be a short day for writing. I’m sorry for that … It’s now 5:50 pm and Rich is due back in 10 minutes. Aha! Just called and he is about 10-15 minutes out, but he says he’s got to shower first so no reason to run to getting our shoes on. It gives me a few more minutes to write.
Basically, what we’ve done since six hours was to read. There was a lot there. We also got in lunch and about 10 minutes of drifting off time. But, not much. We read through several Office of Inspector General (OIG) papers and one survey for support intensity scale, and a couple more for Quality of life (QoL) surveys. That was all my required reading, but the last one by Wehmeyer on QoL was so good in hitting major points of importance that I may have to go back tomorrow and diagram it all out.
The difference in having taken this afternoon for work, was partly because rich was home for the first half of it reading in the living room and we wanted an excuse to join him on the couch. But, we had clearly demarcated intent to be reading this material so we could be advancing the whole curriculum plan. I think we turned a cog in the wheel. I had been explaining our new system to Rich, but he got into showing me his system and he didn’t say anything positive about our system … so that led to a little flair, but not more than 7-8 minutes frustration with each other.
We were showing him how special ours was and he didn’t say anything until getting his out as if it were up for sale. He didn’t present MS Outlook very well, but we have been there including checking out the new 2007. It has a lot of spangles.
But, the bottom line is that it wasn’t adapaptable to my MS Works program, on my little computer, so it did me no good at my desk. I could have used the computer desk, but I really find myself with excuses sometimes just to work on my regular work desk. It’s a bit tougher now with the two big screens, but in general, I like doing my scheduling and planning on the little computer, and the majority of the straight out writing on the big one.
There are always a complication of systems when you are turning over a new system, but you know us and new systems. We tried to incorporate what we had with what was working and what we would like to see. What we ended up with was something where we were using the Paper Tiger desk set-up along with that system … that coincidentally was looking even better because of our widespread use of the CARF stuff in it. We had actually spelled out this direction before, but hadn’t gone as deep in eliminating stuff from drawers. That’s changed this time around. What we did different was to set up one drawer with a small section of forms needed for annuals, but then going in the other direction, we added about 14 general files Tiger Lady was suggesting like a file for copying, file for errands, file for signatures, file for calls outgoing and incoming, etc. The next part was that there were Action files that were temporary and a little more longstanding, and the other files in the system were resource. The temporary action files we used as the files on top of our desk under the binders in the cubby. They are still designated with dots, but they are thinned outsome. Some went to the other action file … I guess too because the other action file has to do with being things we work on all the time rather than
the single projects.
This week we were also adapting to the push of the new Q to take on her own territory, which not only included the desk, it included the client files. I wasn’t ready for that yet, but figured it’s a good enough time to readjust. I told her that we’d have to talk to Rich about giving up two of the file drawers (at first – maybe the other two later). We talked to him already – planted the seeds. We established client files over dead files.
The gist of it...
WOOOHOOOO. We figured if you click on the pictures from the entry below you get a nice BIG picture of the guys – and then we zoomed in a bit. Oh man what a great picture … sure do wish Rich was more smiley though. We’re going to forward this one to Rich and ask that he PLEASE send it to Bob and maybe Doug. I’m thinking each will get a lot from it … even from Doug’s view of not going … at least he wouldn’t feel cut out. Isn’t it a great picture … You couldn’t get any better in a studio with a backdrop of rushing waters.
Good good … we’re just waiting on the silly connection it’s a slow one this morning. It really is a good picture. We did tease Rich a little bit about how close he and Bob really were, but he wasn’t going to nibble on that hook! He’s sooooo fun to tease though. I can hear him already saying, “Now, now …” He does that sometimes to us. Shoot don’t want to type too much or we’ll lose the picture.
Maybe if I save just that part over …
Ahh that’s even better! The picture seems to grow and shrink according to the size you give it. On OneNote I can almost see Bob’s eyes and I’m pretty darn sure that Rich is supporting a couple days beard. I think he gets teased for that too. I don’t know how fast they are supposed to grow in, but I like petting his because its so soft, but I think in a man way that must be a problem? I’m just not real good in that department.
We’ve only got a few minutes before our shower, hmm, well yes we could shower earlier so we can see Rich more … hmm, he should have gotten a good night’s sleep.
It’s just that the keyboard under our fingers is feeling so good. I think that’s part of why we’ve been enjoying working at our office so much lately. We had a terrible time trying to get the music to come in right, but we absolutely love the new double screen and also the keyboard, though I like this one a lot too. I’m not sure if I mentioned it, but we switched the old keyboard from home with the old keyboard from work. Even though the work keyboard is really older, it has better touch and is not so kitty hairy – though we think it will go in that direction too.
Ok, ok … I know shower … kitty hair is getting a bum rap though! brb.
Wooo HOOO!!! Figured we got in a little fuzzy time with sleepy face and we’re dressed and he’s in the shower and we got now 10 more minutes … ahhh the sweet life.
We’re a little unsure of ourselves now because we are thinking we’re looking so forward to work. I think it was because of happy hour last night without out the liquor. Sweet!
*Sigh* actually I think we’re doing pretty good at work. We figured that the new Q can do a share of the work that takes tremendous pressure off of us. Yesterday, we didn’t do CARF but we got done with 4.5 annual reports, which makes us almost caught up. It was still hard to concentrate that hard, but we did pretty good with it considering frustration over the music. Toward the end of the day Rich had given us a project that took up a little time and the new Q had things for us to help her with.
I felt bad because for the first time since she’d gotten there she’d felt unequal to the task at hand … we did everything we could to let her know that this was the hardest part of the job and that she should give herself credit for being in there at this early stage. We made sure she knew we were going to back her up and it seemed she’d gotten that point already. It was a good acknowledgment. She felt confident coming back into it today she’d do it.
It’s kinda funny in that we’ve been watching her pretty closely. We’ve told her all along about backing her up and our impression of her and her work has been good.
She has been making the work all along seem like, “sure, no problem.” I’ve been absolutely amazed with her. When she started to have problems, we went over it about 3 times and it wasn’t catching. Then she talked a little and I could see that she was discouraged with herself. I’m not sure if it was right or not, but I told her that we were pretty smart and that we’d sometimes do things that were harder then most people. We said 7-8% of the population was smarter than us … and we straight out inferred we weren’t on the level of being a doctor or scientist, but that we had enough to do the job at St. Rose pretty well.
Then we talked about the difference of our mind or her mind in comparison to the Clients. I’m proud that I’m fairly smart, but in regard to the clients … we work for them, and it is our job to take big ideas and make them understandable at their level. Not to talk down at them as if they were children. I said its all about translation. I also told her that I’d had 8 years of goal experience so we didn’t expect that we’d be processing the information at the same speed. I couldn’t explain enough about the trickiness of the goal process. You have to seeing like a matrix all squished down flat on the paper.
Hmm, I think that’s about the “gist of it.”
Oh man oh man
Hello … this is me … and we’re here again and not reading our book the way we’re supposed to be … that’s cuz fishyman called about a half an hour ago and he’s going to be home in just 15 minutes YOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I sure hope he gets here soon, but he’s talking about being very sore. I never seen such a get sore guy … I think he’s just hoping he’s going to be rubbed. *Sigh* A woman’s work is never done. Get em all good and loosen’d up for the trip … and they come back like this
*Sigh*
So, anyway I can see where this evening is going to go ;). We’ve been looking at some pictures of his big Canadian trip. Maury figured it out somehow and now we’ve got them saved and we sent some to our fishyfriend in the mail and now he can send his fishyfriend.
We have full intensions of asking how close he is to this fishy friend, because there was a couple racy pictures and some Bob is sleeping pictures … HMMMM … A woman can get to feeling a little jealous. He’s never taken OUR picture sleeping, but the again with the mask, we’d probably have to shoot him! There are a couple of pictures where he is standing next to his fishy friend or the fishy friend is standing leaning on our fishy friend and those pictures want to make me cry. Well actually we’re crying again, because I think our fishy friend’s fishy friend loves him very much. And, Ummm no on that other category, Rich has definitely laid the grounds for other thoughts.
So, here we sit, pretty much on the nekit side. He says he’s going to be smelly, we’re going to need wondering if those big fishy slapped him around a bit. Maybe THAT’s why he is sore.
Hehehe I couldn’t help it … we’re showing you a sneak peak at the pictures, but you could do yourself a favor and blow them up on your computer. If you don’t think fishy faces are beautiful you’d have to guess again. I don’t think anything makes men happier then putting them in a boat on the water with a fishy stick on hand.
Well, actually we’ve been giggling about Bob’s pictures because every one of them seems to have a picture where his stogey is in his hand. Maybe it is like a security blanket, because he has it even when he sleeps. Well at least when power napping in the boat. HEY! I didn’t know they were doing that … Our friend just said it was fish, fish, fish. HA! We’ll be calling him on that duck!
Oh yeah, our fishy friend? He got two pictures of a turtle. The turtle is in the water swimming/resting by the stones at the side of the beach. It seems half and half deep. I think that is pretty exciting news … the turtle seems to appreciate the company, because I heard him same no one’s been by to visit for awhile.
Turtles! They can be so gosh darn talkative. I think if we ever meet Bob, we are going to have to rub his tummy, because in all the pictures our fishy friend takes, there is always an exposed tummy. I didn’t even know guys thought about other guys tummies, but I think they compare them, so that they believe the other guys is always bigger than theres. I’m not sure if other girls do this. Maybe they are better at comparing rump ends. Hmm?
This is the picture we said was coming. You know of course our fishy friend is the tall good looking one. No, not that Bob isn’t good looking, because I think he is … just he doesn’t bring me to his knees like our fishy friend. Sometimes we think that we could give Bob a smooch, but then we’d think it be like kissing a walrus who smoked too much. That’s a pretty scary thought! But, don’t doubt it for a moment, we think our fishy friend’s friend gets his share of good smooching time in. Rich seems to think there are revolving door women over there! Giggle … we’ll have to ask him when we see him!
I would say something about the day with the boys and grandchildren, but it seems too soon … the fishyman should be home any minute now. Maybe we’ll look at those pictures just one more time. The greens are green, the water is clear and the sky is blue! They just have such a nice place to go visiting … that is Canada. I’m not so sure of the accommodations though as to rooms. Yeeks something about looking at a paneled wall with a flyswatter on it … well, it just doesn’t do it for me … and there was a clothes line in the room too. Never been one in any hotel I ever stayed at! Ok, ok … this is the second picture of our friend with the friend. I think Bob has got a thing about our guy! Hehehe
Do you think Bob knows how to pose for pictures? He’s got just that sentimental thing going on pretty good. I think our friend gets kind of nervous about posing for the camera, because he’s always giving that two serious smile … well, except if your holding up fishes … then it’s ok to be happy. I think copies of these pictures should be sent to all Rich’s kids … and then they would see their father most being himself. He looks like he is in his own kitchen … and Bob? He takes up most the living room couch and his TV seems to be the sounds of lake lapping his boat and birds and fresh air, etc. *Sigh*
Seems as if everyone is happy, but I think our fishy friend is going to be a little crabby, because he’ll have started to think of work. YEEKS!
Oh man he’s here gotta go!!!
On the way to the boys ...
Good morning. This is me … I know weren’t we just here? AHA! You remember then … very good …
I know same rumpled shirt … at this point it is just something to be worn on top to prevent the chills. We’re thinking we better jump in the shower soon, so that doesn’t get lost with the day. But, by now Missy has settled over my arms so we’re thinking best not to upset the cart. Yah yah … if not that then something close to it. Bottom line we’re probably not moving for 45 minutes until its time to take the medicine. *Sigh* That’s just the way it works. I think from yesterday I was supposed to be doing something this morning besides leave at 10:15 am for Maury’s.
Maybe more of the grant reading? Maybe we should just count that in now. We read for about 2 ½ lasts night, so that means that we go back to reading from 7:30-10:00 to get in the next 2 ½ hours bumping us to 5. I really do owe fishyman that much and probably more. Well, not too much more … we figure bare minimum is that instead of paying our regular cost of $22, that he is getting us for $10, which is half our value. Can’t say too much though, because we are still a student grant writer.
But, since there is only $200 being handed over that’s four weeks times 5 hours each week. We’re going to hold to those figures … that would be unless he can convince me that there is extra money being saved off my labor that is going toward purchasing a house. I would consider that a good savings.
Don’t mean to get stingy, but I do want to hear that I’m valued to some degree. I know, I know … I’m valued, but I know too we went through that with the marriage.
Only in that relationship I was worth at least $500 a month. Not a whole lot, but still more especially by old standards of money compared to new. I just don’t want to feel used and abused. It’s bad enough that I’m being asked to pen the project under his name. I’m still not convinced Sr. isn’t going to see through that, because I’m sure she knows my writing style, but Rich wants to perpetuate untruths *sigh* but, then same for me cuz we are agreeing to it. I’m not sure that we would like it so much that he get caught, but I’m so sure Sister is going to recognize us that I hope he decides to come clean and say that he’s hired us. But, then I think he’s afraid why would he be needed if I could do all the work. I think he could get by with he is supervising me, but then from what I’m reading of the grant material – it is the one who knows what is going on that facilitates the meeting. I don’t know maybe it will be my chore then to direct him to be giving me ideas … and then he could say that it is a good part his grant proposals and I’m just filling in his words. I don’t think it will be that clean, but then he gets the respect for being a grant-seeker “in-charge.” I don’t know … I would like to think my hunnybunny doesn’t lie, just what would it be called if he were underpaying me AND not giving me credit for my work. Isn’t that then like stealing? What about the part where I do stuff because I love him? I do love him, but I don’t want to go back to giving myself away for free and for invisible. Where’s the honor in that? Ok, we better get off that point. I don’t think its helping us and it is bringing us down.
Damn … we go down too far? Feel like wanting to sleep again. Shoot, shoot … got too much to do to sleep right now. Please, lets not do that? Maybe a nice warm shower?
How about we take our medicine 20 minutes early? That’s not too much, hmm?
Umm, this is us … we didn’t make it … it’ now almost 9 am. We just woke up.
For better or worse I guess there wasn’t much option it had to be a nap. This is frustrating to us, but we have to be ok with it. Cuz it happened for real.
I think this might be a good day to be missing. The neighbors across the hall are moving and they are making a lot of noise and doing a lot of bumping against walls.
I don’t know why they are moving, but it has to be ok, because I also can’t do anything about that. Hmm, seems like we’re in a little repeaty mood. I can hear them talking out there, I thought I heard one try to open my door and the pictures have been bouncing off the wall. I have an unsettling feeling they are going to come into my apartment at any time. Shoot, now we’re starting to scare ourselves we better stop.
Let’s switch over to the part where we had a very specific dream right before we woke up … well actually the dream was happening for a while and the last part was about needing to find a bathroom. So, our bathroom dreams continue. The dream was about being on our own, and then there was this part about having kids, but they were told at the end by what appeared to be my parents that they couldn’t go with me. We didn’t have a place to live because we were kicked out of school or something … but then, they were tired of having us too, and we didn’t have anyplace to go. So, we planned to take a vacation for the rest of our life where we were going to travel, work, live, and then travel again until we worked our way around the United States. Toward the end, we had gotten some kind of mobile home, but it was very rough. It was more like a couple of boxes and it had homemade elements and things like coolers for fridges lawn chairs for furniture, and folding toilets that had to be cleaned manually. I remember rows of bottles that and glass window/mirrors both stacked up and precariously in danger of falling and breaking.
I also remember a speaker system made up of odd sets of speakers and there were wires everywhere. I think someone had done me a favor … most likely my father in arranging all of this and we were feeling adventurous and ready to leave so it was ok.
There was a hard part of trying to find clothes in my mother’s closet which was a terror of childhood .. Trying to look for SOMETHING that was clean and of the right size. Think we found enough for two bags that looked sort of like the bag that Rich forgot over the weekend. I think we grabbed a lot of shoes that were new and hadn’t been taken out of the boxes, which reminds me we have a new pair of shoes we haven’t tried yet. Hmm. How’d that happen. Anyway I think one last thought was the feeling that we were free. We worried about fitting in at the different places we might live … like understanding the dialogue or coping with the weather changes. We figured we had to be ok though, because there wasn’t any other choices.
Hmm, think we’ve had enough of all that … it’s harder and harder to remember because we are being distracted with thoughts of the people moving and needing to get in the shower, etc. Our agenda is moving on. Maybe if we get in and out of the shower, we’ll have the opportunity to write a little more. We’re in that hard transition place where we are kind of afraid of moving on or past the part where we can be here just writing our thoughts. It’s going to be ok, right? Man this is going to be tough … But, we’re leaving in an hour, so it is a good time to progress. Take a deep breath. Ok, now you know what you have to do … let’s get that shower going.
K???!
Woo HOO!!! Shower done, and we’re dressed for the day.
We’re wearing the new purple striped shirt and the new blue jean skirt and new shoes. I’m kind of feeling the differences in wearing new clothes, but I’m sure it will be fine. Especially, after our hair dries and is put up. We’re not sure how hot it is, but I should be fine whether it is hotter or colder. This is what happens when in the lap of luxury being the air conditioning. AHA! Forgot almost need to feed Rich’s flowers … brb.
Ahh good, good … they are doing fine. It was hard getting out there, because we were only partially dressed. But, they are doing fine now.
We’ve got about a half an hour to finish before we are on our way. I think we’re pushing the kind of early button, but we wanted to follow the schedule we usually keep with Joe, and we wanted to be back in time to be here and have the place picked up for Rich. Homecoming!!! Hehehe after he takes a shower all is good. I hope he’s having a good morning and right at this very moment has a big fish on the line!
Rich called last night right after dinner to check in on us. But, it also gives us a chance to check in with him. He seemed kind of down. He said he’d been catching fish, but not weighing in enough so that he was 5th place. He really sounded down.
He said the others out fished him including Bob. He said he had a big one on the line, but he let it get away. We scolded him for punishing himself. He said he was tired, but that the guys were getting together for a card night. Maybe he could win that? Last time he played he came out $50 ahead. That was a good night. He said also that he was getting up at 4:30 am so he could be fishing by 5:30 am. I think another reason he was down was that because of that thing that happens when things aren’t set up quite right and things get held in causing tummy problems. We told him how successful we’d been hoping to encourage him on … Basically, the team of us is pulling the both of us forward, just like boat fisherman in each boat fishes count toward the one score. That way team work is accomplished. YAYYY!
Ok, 20 years from now he’s probably going to be glad we talked about his tummy problem in a blog that was turned to book and made millions hehehe. Poor fishyman.
We teased about how the conversations have turned and become more graphic as we age. Let me tell you about the age of 48 things just starting to heat up! We’re thinking this is going to be a very good year for intimacy!
Hmm, I should be thinking … is there anything I can bring for Maury or the girls? I think Joe is covered.
Hmm, just read over the note to Joe’s Sensei … I was pretty specific about being available on Thursday. He didn’t confirm, but we were there. He also hasn’t answered back the two phone calls. I think this is really up to him. I am wondering if I shouldn’t give Joe the money and ask him to work it out with his Sensei … We’re thinking about $350 now. $50 for each of the first two gifts and another $250 for the Samurai sword. Maybe it will work out that Joe gets to help pick out his gifts. I think if I stopped by the bank, we could have the cash ready for him. I know it’s a better chance that he’ll find Sensei Steve before we will.
Hmm, I just need a cash station. AHA! There is a bank station ATM thingy at the 7-11 down the street. That seems like a good idea.
Maybe I could pick up something there for Maury and the girls? I could get $180, I’ve got the first $200, that would give me $30 for the other. I don’t really want to buy pop although that’s a thought, because … Hmm. What happened if I just gave him Cash. Maybe I can pick up $200 and give Joe the $350, Maury $40, and me $10.
Hopefully someone will have change for a $20. I think I can swing $200 from my account though something won’t get paid. We are just a week from the next pay check, but that’s the one to cover the rent and car. Hmm, that sounds like a plan the worst thing that could happen is that Maury gets an extra $20, I get nothing and Joe is down to $340. I hope he is not going to change his mind and take the money for something else. I wouldn’t mind another karate gift, but I don’t want it for something that isn’t symbolic of his Karate Journey. I really want the gift to go to Sensei Joe. Maury will be good with the extra cash, we will recommend that he takes Lauren out for dinner. Hmm, if I had $10 I could spend it on something edible for the girls that isn’t bad for them. Hmm, going to a 7-11 … what could that be.
I’m thinking here slurpees, but I don’t know how well they would last. My ex MIL used to bring Entemann’s cookies, but that didn’t help in the long run. I want something Maury would let them eat right away … well not to spoil there dinner, but I want it at Issa’s level. I think we could get by with animal crackers if they had them, but then I would need something older for Ame. What could I get her. Hmm, maybe if I look around it would come to me. We’ll have to see. YEEKS! It’s already 10:12 … We’ll want to post, better get this show on the road!
Might skim this one - think it comes out to 26 pages *sigh*
Good morning. This is me. WooHOOO!!! Saturday! Can’t get any better than that!
Ok, well true fishyman in the sak would be better, but then again we’re ok with some private time … biggest thing at the moment is that we’re up to the part where we get to write and from this first sentence, I can say it seems like it’s been a very long time. The week takes on a life of its own and then we’re just left scrambling to catch up.
We were in bed early enough last night so that we were up about quarter to 5. I think Sweetie Pie is trying to convince to read in the washroom, and has left a magazine or two in there … we’re getting in a couple of pages each time. I think its sorta ok, but the kitties are saying it’s a no-go. They don’t want any fiddling between sitting and reaching for the paper. They are like … can we discuss BREAKFAST??!! Ouch!
We aren’t ready to weigh in with all that yet. I find the more I read of the particular magazine the less interested I am in it. It is a copy of the Cosmopolitan that Sister no longer wants at work. Actually, neither did we and we might have bungled it in suggesting the new Q change it over to her address. I was trying to follow sister’s directive and not have it go to the center without wasting it, but now I worry about pressure in having sent it to our new star. She seems to want it, I hope she’s not putting us on.
In the meantime … getting in the back end of that deal, Rich was sitting in his office when sister brought it in … and he was saying pretty quick afterward that we should have taken the magazine home, because we don’t know what’s in it to be picking up. *Sigh* One never knows.
So, I brought home the second copy that had come in (first having gone to Candace). I’m not backing out … I gave it to her and she can keep it. She’s young and in love and is much more apt to keep up the reading of the silly thing. I will let you know for the one issue we have if anything interesting comes up. I do think Justin T. is pretty hunky for a guy way too young, but on the interesting list. Whoo!
Ok, nuf of that … what do we have to add about our fishyman stories? Hmm, let’s see I guess I’d have to add that the quality of the last exchange was not too great. I get very poor connections in the St. Rose building. So, there is a certain mysteriousness in catching 3 out of 4 words after having scouted out the best reception. Maybe he has a clue as to where I should be standing. Silly bars. From what I gathered on this last call is that he’s still hehe being kinda embarrassed about the part of leaving his clothes behind, but has resolved that issue in his good natured prompt response manner. He says he has a new pair of jeans and that we’ll have to open a new drawer to fit in all the extra underwear. WoW! Pretty darn cool. If it were most girls, we would have freaked out … No clothes!?? Well, maybe if it had been me. I guess most girls love to shop, but the thought of wearing the same jeans might not have been appealing. He is saying his clothes may be walking home. I think this is an outdoor guy way of saying … I hope my partner doesn’t mind the smells. Hehehe … I think fishyman’s pants are going to be going straight to the wash! I’m glad he got another pair of jeans, because he should have had it all along.
The word on the fishes is that he’s catching them, though hasn’t caught the biggest. He says that, of course, today is the first day of the tournament. I think that’s right … maybe I forget … does the tournament start on Friday or Saturday … hmm, I’m not sure. We’ll have to recapture that part of our memory. But, the thing is he sounds like he’s enjoying himself, but is not there quite yet. He went into this weekend knowing that he is and his best friend knowing he is … 1 point ahead. That allows for a certain amount of challenge in a guy to guy manner of speaking.
We were emphasizing … be nice! But, we’re not sure where he lays. I know he loves Bob to pieces, but there is something very solid about guys wanting to out fish the other. I think this is better than checking out who brings home the biggest dinosaur or black eye, so we’re ok with this. I don’t know, but it seems that extra bit of testosterone, has been suiting us fine all along.
I had always thought that my ex was a little more she-like in that he couldn’t really get into the fishing, camping, sports, stuff. I guess he could do the sports – basketball, baseball, and volleyball, but it’s not the same as the stake our Sweetie Pie has put into it. The ex wasn’t into organized sports, he was more into backyard play with friends and family.
Ok, let’s not get into ex things. It is funny to note that after 17 years of being separated and divorce, that he is still having a thought space in my head. I guess this is what comes from only having a couple of loves in one’s life. We have a tendency not to give up our hard thoughts.
Ahh that brings us to Dr. M. I think you’ve already gotten the gist of it? Just in Dr. M’s brief explanation of growing up helpless and being motivated thence to remain helpless, though that is not necessary in the relationship with Rich and us. He’s going to love us and take care of us not because we are helpless, but because we are us. Just don’t know who us really is. It’s going to be ok, isn’t it? Shoot … feel just now the helplessness feeling overcoming us. I think it seems like a lot in how we regress to younger parts to deal with the feelings.
Ok, little break here. Missy is telling us that she desperately needs some time to be petted.
Ahh that was nice … we just had a ten minute nap with Missy. I think after we really fell asleep and the petting stopped she thought … well, we ran this well dry! Then she got up and left. By the way it’s now about 6 am. Speaking from the framework of helplessness … why don’t we consider that last bit a power nap, hmm?
Ok, let’s take it a little deeper … is there anything else we can read from Dr. M’s statement?
Hmm, being motivated to stay young/childish? To get our needs met. Wouldn’t exactly explain why we are young in so many different ways. We’re this age, and that age and this other age.
Hmm, too hard for us yet. Maybe it would be better to talk about business? Still feeling a little groggy because of the nap. Is there anything we need? Maybe we could have breakfast??
Cereal be good, wouldn’t it?
Hmm, by the way … just want to leave a little note here that the flowers we got from Rich on our birthday have taken to blossom and they are beautiful. They are like pink blush and there are a ton of them – roses and they are because he thought of making us happy … and that’s about the best birthday present a guy can get for a girl.
Hmm, we’ve been up wandering about a half hour … Missy came back to be petted and we sort of lost our way … think we’re going to head east for a second all the way over toward the medicine. It’s about that time … brb.
Ok …ok that was a good run … got things accomplished. Ahh… fresh cup of coffee too!
It’s about 7:15 am now … so we’re going to mark this point with the medicine and check in as to how steady we are in a half hour. Not that we are real jittery just we have had trouble calming into something more than a couple of lines … that’s always a danger sign. Not sure what we’re going to talk about. Miss the bunny. Hmm, no we don’t want to go there either. What would happen if we started with some house cleaning? We could for example clear the desk, and maybe even bring in that office work we brought home with us? I think there were a few things we wanted to go over there as to putting things in order. You know how much we like to do that kind of thing on a Saturday morning. Real master planning work, hmm? And, then we need to get into some solid work with the grant books, and it also wouldn’t be a bad idea to finish the book on binge eating. Ok, well … we’re not going far on that, but let’s just say the birthday treats are almost gone with or without having stopped at DD’s … but for the record not stopping on Friday was major good, k? Good girls. Ok, now … why don’t you take some things into the kitchen and come back with the work bag, k? Go ahead. It won’t bite!
Ok, good dishwasher is started … I feel better about taking care of that earlier than later. Then after a while, we might think of working through a collection of garbage … not here at the table, but last time we started a new garbage we didn’t put in a bag, so that’s no good. There’s no mushy food in there, but even with dry garbage … we know the trick is in having a bag. Then, another task is that we note that the infamous set of dirty clothes has collected in the living room. I’m thinking that we should just set aside a basket in the corner where we take things off and trust that we are going to get things clean and so throw the dirty clothes in without thinking of wearing it a second or more time. We’re getting a little better with that with Rich around, but there stands room for improvement. Living room otherwise? Eh, mostly straightening pillows and blankets kind of stuff. I think we’re do for a vacuuming pretty soon though, might want to think of getting that done too this weekend. I think there is some stuff gathered on the kitchen table and counter and perhaps a few things to put away in the bedroom. In the bathroom the sink and mirror could take some poofing and there should be clean towels laid out. Might want to bring that laundry and maybe a load or two of Rich’s to the cleaners, but might have to wait for him to retrieve it, because we think we’re not doing so good with money. Let’s see what he has?
AHA … there’s a start … Rich is got about a half bag each of towels and colored clothes so we’ll throw that in. Since he went out and bought new underthings, we know that he’s going to be ok on that. A half load of whites, is just not that consuming as a half load of colored clothes. I brought that basket in and it seems that we have about a half load of clothes too. Hmm, maybe we could afford then to do his whites? Would give him a nice break for coming in on Sunday night just to be doing the picking up rather than rushing over to drop off. Hmm, seems kinda like a partner thing to do to realize that the other is going to need clean clothes and appreciate having an empty dishwasher. Of course its him too we think about when we go over to fluff the pillows. Good Rich. Good us. J
Pretty sure he’s out on the water now thinking what a glorious day it is to be fishing and NOT worrying about stale clothes hehehe … funny guy. I really don’t mind this little bit of picking up in that it helps us to feel more grounded, especially into the routines of the apartment. One of the things I asked him about last night was the call that had come in from our land lord. He wanted us to know as requested when and if the neighbors were going to move out across the hall, because at one point Sweetie had thought that would be a good option in having his own place. BUT, now sweetie is saying that if he moves its going to be because he found a place on the Lake. Hell, that bothers me a lot, hmm? A lake with mushy face AND waiting for that time with him snuggled into our place together. Yeah, we could go with that.
It’s going to be a bad sign for the landlord though to be figuring that we might be close to moving out ourselves. If sweetie is going to find a place, I hope he does it quickly. I’d like to move at the time our lease expires at the end of October, but we’re thinking his divorce won’t finalize until next February, which would mean being here another year. The only problem I have with that is how hard the stairs are to manage. And, I know they are hard for Sweetie with all he’s bringing up or down.
We’ll have to figure that part out. He’s got to make a couple of decisions, or the decisions will be made for him. I think he has to deal too with the part about having furniture over at the other place that he should really be getting out of there. I wouldn’t want to be the ex and have his stuff around if I were to be thinking of doing something else with the place. I think she has a lot of extra furniture and is paying top dollar to keep the extra stored. I guess she has to make some choices too. She’s not going to be able to do that until she knows what kind of space she is going to have. Plus, I think Sweetie said something about it being soon that his son and his girl might be tying the knot. What they do for living space is going to have an affect on that furniture distribution, so its all got to come together at the same time. I think Rich’s ex and son and probably the girl friend are spending time up on Mac Island now so it would be a good time for Sweetie to go over and start shuffling, but I’m unsure if those plans are solidified. I guess it would be fair that if he’s still vacationing, she might want to do so also. This seems to be working out as an amicable divorce, I’ll keep spending, you keep spending and we’ll see where it goes from there hehehe.
*Sigh*
Ok, enough of other people’s lives. Ok, we’re into it a half hour on the meds. So far so good, but we’re feeling that familiar drain on the fingers … wondering if we should put on the formal braces. Ugh. Girls? It’s going to help in the long run, hmm? We’re only on the 5th page and we know we’ve got a length to go. Let’s try, hmm? Ok, just going to take a bit of adjustment now.
We propped up the back of the keyboard and took of the wrist support, because the braces make everything more bulky and hard to reach. I’m feeling now the depressurization feeling to my hands and wrists and not all that is such a bad thing. There is less pulling. We look like this …
Yeeks that is looking terrible. I think we can take out the metal brace in each though and through it in the wash. The other big ticket item is the bag that I carry to work … there sure are a lot of coffee stains on it. I hope it comes clean. We’re not saying anything about our dirty hair … Ugh.
Hmm, just got the regular 8 am message ringing and we checked the phone and found a few messages on it. I didn’t realize that it was so easy to connect with phone messages. There was one from Coach Sweetie, and another again on that apartment. I might have to find the other phone to get the apartment number. I don’t remember any other place I might have put it.
Shoot … no power on the other phone … maybe I could call directory assistance. Shoot that didn’t work either. I know, I think I listed a number for the bank account .. Probably a good idea to stop there anyway.
Ok, here’s the scoop … there is $862 in there and we found the old apartment number, but it forwarded us so we typed in the new number to the bank account and to the telephone. They took a message, but Mike won’t be in until about 11:30 am. So, we’ll call back then. I don’t want to string him along if there is a chance he could get the ad in sooner. I wish I could have given him better news. There was something exciting in the thought of seeing what Rich’s place would have looked like, knowing that his kids could come over to visit, and having the top floor between ourselves. I do however like waking up in the morning and peeking into his bedroom.
I think to that we really do seem to stay close to each other while we’re both in the apartment.
He seems to get some alone time in the am, because he works from home first thing in the morning while I go in, and because he’s gone so many evenings and weekends with fishing and sports. It really would be a waste, especially if we were thinking he could be saving the money to get some place nicer. So we’ll stick with that and be grateful we get him as much as we do.
Sometimes it is really an amazing set of thoughts to believe that at this age of our life … now recently turned 48 that we are living with someone again. Thank goodness he is into massages … tell me … this looks like the face of someone being spoiled, right?
Isn’t he just so gosh darn cute … don’t those eyes just say … well you never mind what they say … just that he’s looking pretty spoiled God Bless his heart! Those eyes just give him away for being such a softy. *Sigh* my poor fluttery heart! Now I forget what we were talking about all together. Something about something.
Eh, let’s not read up … the point ??? I’m just in majorly crushed with this guy. Feels just like a school girl, but in this story there is a happily ever after. How could I have in my wildest
dreams conceived of meeting and LIVING with such a hunk of a guy??
I think I should repost this picture of Rich every time I think of stepping outside the line – especially food line. He seems to be saying … “Now, now … we don’t need that do we?” He like is bringing us to tears … need to stop or we’ll be in floppy mood the rest of the morning! It’s about 8:30 am now. Ok, so we’re going to be moving on to something. We could give it a round of pillow fluffing?
Ouch, ouch. It’s going to get better, right? Just need a string of good days without ice cream and cake in the house. Mmm, that was very good though. Ok, ok we’re done with that now.
Just one more meal of pizza and then all the food memories will be in the background. I really think we do better at home on the weekend without any extra … hmm, forgot … we’re going to be visiting the boys tomorrow … ok, well … well if they have birthday cake … *sigh* it’s a hopeless battle.
Good good … we remembered to call Sensei Steve’s phone and leave a message for him to call when he gets in. I would like to take care of our gift arrangements today yet. That would be worth a trip out. This is going to work, because we’re pretty sure we want to do something nice for our son. Samurai sword … who would have thought it … something to be doing when we reached the age of 48 . Hehehe this is a good sign I think. Ok, how’d we get to here? Oh yeah straightening up some plans. Ok, clean house, write, read, go to Sensei Steve’s … might as well throw in a shower. Yah … that will work. I hope he is going to be around today. I know he is a religious person so maybe he doesn’t have karate on Sundays.
There was one real nice thing about going to Sensei’s on Thursday in our first attempt to get the gifts. We met another sensei who was named Bridgette and she talked to us just a few moments about the test … she said that Joe is rock solid and she led me to believe he had less push-ups to do than normal. She says she had watched Joe grow-up since back in the days that she was taller than him. I could see her pride in his progress and that made me even happier. Joe is leaving a very good impression on many. I will be excited to see him with the gifts. We still haven’t heard from Maury to see where he stands on chipping in … I wouldn’t mind giving all the gifts, but I don’t want Maury to feel less appreciated.
Ok, that’s enough of that. We watched the movie Miss Potter last night – the one on Beatrice Potter. I can’t say I really liked Renee Zellweger. I didn’t like her face and I thought that it was an acted presence. But, I did like the story being told of a woman who had a talent to write stories and draw pictures. It was unfortunate her beau died before the wedding, but on the other hand it ends with her feeling at home in the country marrying an old flame. I felt though as if she were pretty naïve and sheltered, and they painted her in as being sort of a loon and as if she created the theme of novelty.
Speaking of … did you see my happy birthday balloon? Wait … let me show you these too … they are my happy birthday roses!!!
Oh man what a ladies man our Sweetie is!! Hehehe we just sent the picture to Sweetie. His flowers are really quite beautiful and there is so many … I’m thinking he might have bought 4 dozen to make 48 years old … If I could just live up to their beauty on the inside then I would be a very happy person.
Eh … not so beautiful though … we just scared the cat off the table to avoid the NEXT set of petting. We’d been scratching her as she patrolled by, but she was frustrating me in the amount of attention being demanded. See … I just don’t have it in me to be the kindest heart, but I do have one and it has been touched by fishyman. We sent off a letter of appreciation and a note to each of the boys about tomorrow. Good … good.
Ok, what is next? We’re already up to 9:10. I don’t know why I’m watching the clock so much this morning. Though I have always a sense of the clock escaping me. I don’t know how far we progress, because so much time is lost within the parts. We try to hold that it is all benefitting the one of us, but there still is that familiar sense of loss. What did it feel like to be in that moment … even moments ago. The pictures help us a lot in holding our space. Ahh who is that beautiful girl peeking around the flowers. Can that really be us? Is that who we are?
Ok, we’re going to stop playing right? This is someone still being pretty giggly over her recent fortune! This is the picture we sent Deb. We don’t see her around as much, but we’re still thinking she’s the crème de le crème.
Woo HOO! Ok, someone turn off the happy button … it’s going to bust us open! Shhh, ok girls quiet!
Let’s be a little more serious? We haven’t thought much except for being with mushy face all morning … think we need to get on with the day? Ok, you … let’s try having serious thoughts.
You can do this, try harder!
Uh huh … yes grapes … that makes us serious right? What happened to that work we were going to do? I know … did we talk yet about the work stuff? Maybe that would be a step between doing working and thinking of work. Hmm? Ok, where do we begin?
I think the place to begin is to say that we had a pretty good week. One of the ways of assessing this is how close we feel to sister. Sr. Theresa and us seemed to be pretty paired up all week. I think some of it is that we’re in training with the new Q, so we are staying closely attuned to that, but also because she’s been sharing more projects and visits with me. We always like it when she comes down to our office to fill-us-in with stuff.
This last set of visits … particularly one was of note that Candace is fitting so well into the picture. She seems uncannily ready for the experience of St. Rose Center. She has taken to the role of being a Q like a fish takes to water. At one point she was just finishing up on some Qnote work on our computer and Sister had come in to sit and talk. She had some papers in hand that she was going to be transferring over to us. So, after Candace finished up, she turned her chair around and actually listened into and made attempts to be a part of. Where with Mirza I couldn’t seem to bring her up to a partnership feeling … with Candace … two weeks and she’s done more than I got Mirza to do in a year and a half. Mirza just didn’t want responsibility where Candace thrives on it. We have to learn about not giving her more than she can get done, but we think she has a great attitude on taking on more work.
In some ways, she seems to be saying already that she’s all good with the annuals and she’s ready to take them on all together. She seems unruffled to be going into a meeting and sprouting out everything she knows on Ronald’s behalf. She seems to have picked up on what to do for goals already and its only been a week. She not only set up the schedules for the ICAPs and goals, she’s taken both of them on. We sat down on Friday before she went home and we reviewed what she could be saying about Ronald’s goals and giving reasons why he will be doing the same ones again. His goals are on riding bike, doing sequencing, and one other that I forget. She talked to Imelda who obviously didn’t want to put too much work into it … I didn’t see anything wrong with keeping the same goals, though I find it odd that there isn’t work being put into revising them to better fit actual circumstances. But, perhaps as they are they are good enough. Whose to say … the DSPs wanted something more simple and maybe that is what they are going to get with Candace. That might be something that they like.
There are a couple of instances already where she seems to be soliciting their best confidence.
She’s gone out and met them on their terms and she’s brought them back to her office so that at least Brandi, Sue, and Cathy have all entrusted her to new ideas and energy. They seem to appreciate getting her attention and I’ve had to let go of stingy feelings of wondering why I’m being cut out already. But, if we are to turn the ball of wax over to her … that is exactly what we need to do. We need to watch ourselves for defensiveness. It is hard to give up that your clients are not your clients anymore.
I don’t know how to work on the part of having her do her own caseload versus taking on the entirety of both our caseloads. Like with the goals, annuals, and Qnotes, will it be ok that we are asking her to do both and that we are treating the caseload like we are both sharing it. Candace seems to be gobbling up a workload and we’re suggesting to her that she comes up with some kind of a specialty … right now leaning toward music where she gets to inherit a group like Holly and myself. I think she would enjoy that and the clients wouldn’t mind seeing something new.
Sister took great pains in reminding me that I’m still staff trainer and that just because I’m off for the summer, it doesn’t mean I’ve not got that position. I like the feeling having Candace around gives me as to finishing up some of the separate work projects. If she is doing the work of annuals then I really get time to get other things done that Sister has put on our plate. Sr. has told Candace that she will be getting a caseload of 25 individuals. I know she’s got 10 of mine, she’s to take on one of the new ones, and she’s getting at least 2 of Holly’s so she’s still got a dozen more to go. Chances are that as little as I like it, she’s going to take on a dozen of Holly’s before taking on the balance of mine. It’s not certain that is how it is going to go, but I think that Sr. has appeased Holly with information I don’t know and Holly seems happy go lucky so most likely will be losing some of her work load. There’s writing on the wall too in that Sr. had taken effort to let me let go of the most troublesome clients. Now the next question will be … if Holly is going to have half a caseload will she still get the services of Candace one day a week, and if so, wouldn’t that be grounds that we get Candace once a week so might get some help with the Qnotes?
I’m thinking that one way or another, I’m going to try doing whatever I’m assigned without complaint. I could think of giving over the Circles program in the fall, because it would be a good teaching experience for Candace, but then I lose a little control over the program aspects - though I think that the experience would be good for Candace. I still think that I need time learning and being able to teach across the board equally. There is some too on making sure the program goes over well. I fear though the affect of teaching 45-1 hour 4 times a week. One of the last notes prior to the weekend was that I look into on my one CARF day a week completing some more of the performance improvement activities, which will get me into working with some of Holly’s clients and that I can appreciate.
I really don’t think I have a full grasp on all that Sister is planning, but the sense was this week that she was giving me things she could take off her desk. I don’t get the impression that Holly is doing the same for her. Holly is still doing a little with her clients and money, but seems to be spending a fair amount of time doing the home base work. I think understandably so that she’s spending a good chunk of time on the phone. I think it be hard to tell which of us is more manipulative, but we’d like to think we are working mostly for whatever the clients are interested in. We did have one major setback in that Ms. Eskra didn’t talk to us about it, but she’s gone off a limb and let the boys talk her out of having someone help her with the girls. I would like to do one more thing in asking if she can do that with allegations against her from OIG … we’ll have to go through Cathy with that and it seems Cathy had not thought through that though on her own. So, we will see. I also played devil’s advocate and hooked up Kelly’s mother with Ana’s mother in talking about deductions and where money is coming and going from through the federal programs. They are both big-winded talkers so I figured they might appreciate each other and in trying to get words in elsewise.
I do know that this is a very good time to back away from the Eskra’s because she’s gone behind us several times now showing a lack of trust. She’s made decisions to cancel services offered her even though effort has been made beyond belief and she’s done it without respect of what we and the other services are telling her, and after she’s made her final decision … she’s told everyone, but me, which means most likely that the pressure I put on her is being felt, but not appreciated … so … as it turns out with Candace’s arrival … she is no longer going to be my program, and she can see how she fares with the next one. I can admit though my thoughts, in that if she doesn’t keep up with her end and the girls get abused again or in abuse of each other then I will not hesitate to call in the authorities to guarantee the girls’ safety. There is this uncomfortable feeling that she’s looked a gift horse in the mouth and rejected services offered.
If she can’t help herself, neither can we help her. She’s got to commit to the benefit of the girls.
One last thought of that is in the boys purported interest in the girls and the different agencies dismay that a bedroom is being used for fish while the two girls are put upon to be sharing the same room, without a lack of privacy. That is going to count against them in the long run. Fish cannot be prioritized over people. And, from what I can tell, the girls have no true belongings.
The mother collects stuffed animals, the boys fish, and the girls … what? Barbie dolls and coloring books. Mrs. Eskra isn’t supporting them with adult activities. That will count against her also. I know that if I were asked to stand-up in court to for her to gain custody, I would clearly state those two objectives. I don’t think she can give the girls the best support they can get … what she knows to offer them is minimal. The focus is on maintaining control, not development. This is in itself not a crime, but a waste of human potential. If the boys were going to be that much help, then the girls wouldn’t be in this much trouble.
Ok, ok … I’ve got to be moving on from that. We’ve had enough … now turning her over. I think that Candace will be fair with them, but she’ll also be more of a social worker type person who is going to feel put out if someone is not doing what they ought to be doing. She is quick to assess and that will be a very honest outcome of relationships with the families. I feel glad now that we last moment switched Ana to Candace’s load and kept Lilyana. Ana’s mother is difficult in that you have to go through the long conversations where she is just talking and talking.
We usually, can keep it within bounds, but I really don’t even want that much work in keeping things on an even keel. I didn’t mind after the first few moments looking up information from Ms. Chaidez, but she is like Mrs. Eskra where they believe so hard in whatever they believe that they do not listen to their resources, whether it be our agency or the next. So, they end up in states that become a pickle for them and a source of complaint. They both also have taken to the wedge that CSO becomes through Cathy. Cathy and us got into a disagreement between parents in that she made it a loud and specific point to say that St. Rose has to pay for transportation, although she knows that St. Rose holds a different position. This has become her Ace of Spades card. I hope one day to put a conclusion to it … but, I believe that the threat of transportation going up to$8 a day, is going to put more pressure on it than not.
More forcibly the parents are going to want it paid, and more realistically, the agency is going to not be able to support it. $100,000 is too much for the agency to pay, and now the government is not even guaranteeing what it will pay. Especially with families in and out and trips to Mexico for months at a time, there won’t be sufficient money coming in to pay for services. The first thing we will lose is the staff, and once they start falling it will be like a deck of cards. Without money coming in to pay staff salaries, any extra will have to go. I don’t think the parents understand that Sister has gotten special money to make improvements, but she doesn’t have the supported money to pay transportation. I think the best scenario would be if CSO became responsible for transportation or other services. Right now they are taking a survey as to what services the family would like, which makes them seem generous, but the truth be told they are not offering those services, they are offering to be put on a list, which is just going to the front so that they can be sure of what they are not doing for the community. There is no reason to believe the situation would change – particularly with the lack of ability the state has in settling differences. As long as we spend our time talking about gambling boats and private interests … major interests like the people are not going to be served. I find myself more resentful now after the Eskra affair in thinking that families best understand or appreciate what the state and federal governments do for them already. I feel bad they have family members who will never take up their share in the maintenance of a family income, but they have tried to push that burden on others without paying their dues. If they can’t understand quality in a service then they can choose the service of majority, which is of lesser value.
There was one more case in point. There has been contact through a new client – Mario’s family that they are upset about his check. They seem to think that we are teasing him by telling him he’s earning a check where in fact he was given only $5. There seems to be a bridge of communication that has to be reached. The client did miniscule work, and the workshop doesn’t pay very much money. So, when the checks went out … because Mario is new and didn’t fit into the payroll period … sister gave him something to be encouraged. Instead of anyone figuring out for him how much he was going to make or in conversing realistically about the value of the general checks, Mario was under the assumption that the check would be bigger to which the family is saying that he earned $10 to $200 at his high school – it isn’t clear whether that is a week or month, but the general idea is that the family feels ridiculed and the agency feels put out. I always do my best to stay out of these things, because the front office has put in so much toward this instead of handing it cleanly over to the Q. In fact, though the mother doesn’t speak English, so has gone through the secretary. Both the secretary and the DSP should be held accountable for not being more clear or upfront with the client. Because this is another client being handed over to Candace my thoughts are that if anyone were to handle it it will be her. As to what I would do? I would reestablish confidence with the family and understand their frustration. I would make it very clear the services we offer in job training not sustaining and I would emphasize the points that Mario shows low adaptability to work, and cannot work more than 40 minutes, which is unsatisfactory in getting a job in the community. If they want, they can opt out for sending him to a work training program.
Speaking of which and to turn the track out past argument, we had a very good time over the last couple of days understanding what it is that we want to be doing. Basically, what we’d been doing all week was tracking the projects both incoming and outgoing. We used the journal for this purpose and we brought the journal home, because we still feel in touch with it. We had a couple major project paths. One was in getting the CARF material progressed and the other was in annuals, and then there is many projects falling between those two cracks as well as taking care of meetings and training.
Whoops little intermission here. Maury just called to confirm dates for this weekend. I knew I should have gone back and said Sunday … I’d said 11 am, but hadn’t said which day on the reminder. Maury had to take care of another call now, but he’ll call back. He was talking that Joe had a second interview with a company who paid higher than he’s now making, which would about double his income. I think Joe is going to be for that and it would help him get closer to work in personnel if that’s where he was going to go.
AHA! Now I’ve finished talking to both of the boys … Joe just for a second and not much longer to Maury. Maury knows what we’re doing with the Karate stuff, but he says he can’t contribute to it. And, we let him know that we do not need a birthday present and we were serious about that. He indicated money was tough and that he would give me a rain check for a dinner down the line … cool, cool with us! He was getting into the new Harry Potter book, and he was getting ready for his father to come over and put in a new storm door, so we let him get going because he wasn’t even dressed. With Joe it was a goofy conversation. We told him we had a surprise and we were so excited about it that we could tell him, or we could keep it a surprise. He asked, “Which is harder?” Definitely keeping surprises! So, he said that’s what we had to do. Wow!
My first Sensei Joe teaching. WoooHOOO. We told him that we were so excited because we thought he was going to like our surprises that we had to go, and we wanted to see him happy, but we had to go so we wouldn’t tell him. He understood that … I think sometimes he must think I sure have a funny mother. Hehehe. Oh man we’re just terrible being the grown up sometimes! Damn seems something that Rich would recommend. Eh, it’s gift time … hard to be adult with all that about us!
*SIGH* ok, ok … you planet landing? Hmm? Ok, ok … grounding here again … we get in that happy space and we don’t know what to do with ourselves. It’s about 11 am now and the braces are working great … feeling like the energizer bunny.
Ok, ok serious stuff again girls, hmm? *Sigh* ok, ok … landing, landing, thud.
Oh one more thing … Maury volunteered to get the gifts for us. He said that he’s only 10 minutes away and could make that swing by either today or tomorrow. We were kind of excited about getting the gifts ourselves, but I like the idea that Maury is involved. I think he really is proud of his brother, but it is hard to give that much attention to him because Maury does not have the same credits going to him. I don’t think Maury is the kind of guy who could hold his brother down, but at the same thing maybe there is kind of a male competition that is inert. I don’t know … just right now he is willing to share the gift giving and that as a mother I will go with. If I could think of the proper way of giving Maury credit then I would do that too. But, I don’t want Maury to feel dishonored if we said the gift came from the both of us if he felt different inwardly. I know he can’t do the money so that has to be a concern. There must be some reason to gift Maury? Maybe then he could regift to Joe. We’ll have to figure that out.
Hmm, think it is almost time to make lunch. Wouldn’t fishyman be proud of us if we could make our own sandwich? Oh that’s right! Pizza! WooHOO!! BRB
Ahh we are back! That took about 6 minutes. Well, maybe a couple more, but not much. Pizza good … we warmed it up a couple minutes to make the cheese melty – deep dish – and then we dipped it in spaghetti sauce … woohooo! Good stuff!
Ok, I think we are starting to calm down … We would like to go back into the work thoughts if that is ok with you? Well, actually even if it isn’t, cuz I’m the one here at the keyboard hehehe.
Ok, I know we’re being silly again. Sorry.
Ok, where were we. Hmm, read over the last few paragraphs just prior to Maury’s call.
Whoops side-tracked again. We were looking at Samurai Swords. We felt as though the $100-150 range too low. Real swords start at like $700 and go upward quickly … $1800-3500 not unseen. We made another call and asked about raising the payment to about $200-250. He still isn’t answering his phone, so most likely busy, but we shall see. I’m pretty sure that something will have to be ordered. I wish I could afford more for Joe, but that is about as high as I can go at the point of no return.
Ok went out to the limb for a few more moments. We were reading about sensei and karate. I don’t have much knowledge, but it reminded us of a time back in college the first time where we hoped to be more of a student of Eastern philosophy. I didn’t think I had the brain for it at the time, and then I learned I was a distracted student. I think that counts for me now as well. It’s interesting they talked about finding freedom within confinement. I could relate that to the job at the center as well as us within being a multiple. That thought is also too difficult for now though. Just like to say that the confinement in ourselves comes from the restriction of finding yourself entombed in others’ battles and knowing you have to get through their hardships to advance to your own plain. The confinement is one being held by oneself as others.
Ok, tiptoeing away from that. Starting to get that strange sense that we are on the edge of knowing what we say and not knowing at the same time. It is the same sense that we had earlier with Dr. Marvin where we were not quite putting together the framework of diet and health. It is a very conscientious process, but one we haven’t figured out where its front door stands. I think Dr. Marvin is like a Sensei and that might be real in that doctor’s are given the formal title with respect. But, basically it is in that every time I look at him he is perfect and even when sick is still himself within a skeleton of himself. It feels the need protect him though he stands in his own defenses.
Ok, stop that … we are sounding strange. Quit talking like that please? Too much philosophizing. Let’s go back to our business plans, ok? Just wanted to say one short thing though as to Dr. M. being a sensei … it can be asked who his or her lead student is. Dr. Marvin teaches psychiatrists, so must have had favorite students. I would still like to think that although all Dr. Marvin’s patients are equal, that the reason I’m still being seen in psychology is that after 23 years, I continue to learn about myself making the journey worthwhile. It has to be that or otherwise I would be weighted under the pressure of patienthood to the degree we’d never be able to stand. I’ve been with Dr. Marvin 8 of the 23 years – so 35%. Hehehe I wonder if he could appreciate that I’m indebted 35% of my craziness to him. This is a good idea … the doctor is the outside sheath holding in all that feels abnormal … so it is his doing that we are the way we are … did you note that slight sidestepping of responsibility? It works for me. Let’s not go review this paragraph … remember we were discussing work???
Ok, I think we’d tried to break up before the differences in tasks we were facing. At last thought to now perhaps the divisions were superfluous. For now we have been meaning to open our journal and peak inside its world, because we’ve been enamored by it and would like to understand it better. At work, we last left off that all those thoughts could be held together in ways no one could just read through and understand. It seemed that each new task I had reached was just as odd as the next. Here I am in the middle of my life, and we are pertaking in these odd rituals of thoughts and behaviors. It would be no different than if I’d stated to myself … get up, twirl three times, lift your right arm, and then eat a noodle.
The first page of our book is now holding a shrunk page – going from 17” down to the normal paper length of 11” We had figured to set the paper in our handy dandy what do you call those machines? Scanners! That’s it. It was and has been very easy to use the machine and the quality is fairly good, though not perfect. On the yellow sheets, were the guide I shared with the new Q, in that we listed the various clients who need work done on their cases starting with the first in July, that we have not finalized. There is a date listed of the staffing, the person’s name, and then whether she has work to do in our column or the new Q’s. For example the first client, it is my responsibility to perform and teach annual reports to the new Q. I also am responsible for putting out the long goals, and she is responsible for signing papers, and filing them. By the time we get to about 5 clients down, she is responsible for the Qnotes, ICAPs, goals, annual report, and then papers signed and filed. We both share the goals part and the meeting, but she
is willing at this point to do both goals and meeting. That is what we were trying to say before.
I would like to hold her to only expression of the goals past, present and future and we will moderate the meeting. I don’t think sister would appreciate me turning the full thing over.
She’s not been tested for making sense yet. Usually she starts at places to easy for the other and she is slow to getting to her points.
The main part is that she’s made a tremendous amount of progress as to surface processes. She does them more simply than us, because we are so wrapped up in the significance of all the little steps, the larger step becomes too difficult. I think the staff will appreciate her adding less complexity to their lives. I don’t look forward to the comparisons that are already being drawn between us. I’ve noticed a speedy defection from our services to the new. Maybe we were holding more importance of ourselves than qualified by the actual response. Ok, though for now … we are going to try avoiding self-blame and persecution, and we’re going to credit the girl where credit is due and to the point that I must be a good teacher and using her time for Q-work opposed to filing. YEEKS! That scares me just to think of it, but we’ve had to try hard all week not to look down upon our other peer, because we didn’t want to pass on our bad attitude to someone else. She has to find her place between the two of us elder Q’s, and then we each have to scrabble over our mom-like boss and who we think she favors. YEEKS … you know I don’t think psychology gets any more profound than this. There was this really poor instant, maybe toward the end of last week, but Holly invited herself to our lunch period and I found that difficult to swallow. At the end, I had asked point blank why she was having lunch at this time and location.
She of course got defensive, which we thought sorry, but … and then we told her 2-3 of her bad habits, which included talking over everyone that attempted to speak even when matters did not pertain to her or at least shouldn’t. I’d floated a couple of things past to test this theory … and she fell in line with it each time. I also prompted her to say anything, but the negative of whatever we had said. So if I said the sky is green, she would say, no it is red. This is a way of disqualifying others and if I weren’t this bright would be offensive to me, because I would think she’s trying to make me a lesser person than we are. I know generally what causes Holly to be out is her positioning herself as Lord over others. People agree just to shut her up. But, many are not conscious that it is her that is off and not the inferior mess she left of them.
One of my basic points in having stuck my neck that far out there was to make her very conscious she was interfering not only with my lunch there goes the peace, but also my relationship to the DSPs and new Q. I’m working hard at being an equal and don’t need the business of Holly trying to dominate. I mentioned it once to sister in brief passing, but sister is trying to put together a good work team. I will cause a noisier stink if she thinks I will tolerate her noise. I will resort to having lunch by myself again rather than to submit myself to those abuses. It is no different than the first week I tried to sit down with the group. Holly’s theory was … I didn’t realize so many people were eating lunch at this time. My thought … please don’t realize it and crawl back to your hole. Sister understands our general point in that Holly is messing with the psyche of the staff via negative manners. If she wants that not stopped it is going to be up to her and yes we would all live with those consequences.
Shoot, I really hate getting myself bunched up about Holly stuff. Sometimes I forget just how much she bothers us. I think she can be a real person, but she’s got that other demon that wants to dominate and bully. Totally inappropriate.
Let’s go back to the book. As we said the first pages of the yellow sheets tells us the updated progress that the new Q and us are having with the annuals. The second set of pages has to do with one of the projects we were working on. This is the one from CARF where we are working through addressing the regulations. Each of these became projects within themselves that had to be addressed. We realized at some point there were too many things going on to keep up with it, so we wrote out a handwritten summary – 2 pages, that explained where we were with the week as to each mini-project. There were 5 basic sections addressed. The first had to do with obtaining permission and ordering a new security system for the computer. We are not talking anything more profound than Norton 360. Although waters muddied in the Admin meeting by our unfavored peer, they were sullied by the expertise of Brian at Unique. We would have completed the whole ordering process, but the other sister in the building inadvertently placed herself as the center’s authorized purchasing agent, so that had to be straightened out over the weekend.
The second issue had to do with simulating medical emergencies. For this we made arrangements for the CPR First Aide guy to come in for a 6 hour training session in November.
The next one had to do with priorities in registering ourselves with the insurance company for on-line checks of motor vehicle reports. This way we could check people who should or should not be driving and who might have problems with whatever name the new nurses aid registry is under. This is the part where if you were arrested for abuse, it makes a difference as to your job standing. The next part has to do with getting an attorney’s instruction on how to handle investigations, subpoenas, and other legal matters, when it presented itself to the staff.
The next one was a really long part that grew even a little more confusing though actually and eventually through it simplicity became mightier than the sword. Actually, what we are talking about was a research process where we looked into various assessment for the center. I was satisfied for the moment with the brief work survey that I refound and gave to Sr. This could be given to select clients, or to all clients preferably the latter. I would like to test each for aptitude to see if there are things we ought to be teaching them to be out in the job world. Along with that though much later, we found a small 30some page book that teaches directly – natural supports a foundation for employment and community-based instructional support. These were two of the five books found at aaidd, which is like a major advocacy group for people with DD. The foundation for employment book teaches step-by-step strategy for developing natural supports … that means finding relationships for people with MR who aren’t paid to do so. This meant becoming a facilitator in promoting the goals and interests of individuals in the work setting. The second book on instructional support had to do with sequenced stratetgies for setting educational goals, developing a task analysis, selecting the strategy, and collecting data for decision making.
Ok, now thinking over what we just looked over, what do I hope to get from these two books?
Mostly our mental processes are working on getting individuals out in the community past sisters radar of not paying extra for staff or transportation … that is an entire other issue we battled this week. Mostly, in looking at either jobs or volunteer work, people need natural supports – because there isn’t enough money, nor would it be in the client’s best interest to go without. So the first book teaches us how to get out there in the community where the supports are, and the second book sets up educational strategy to be be meeting community goals. I see the books working very much hand in hand. The first book puts out the supports out there, and the second book makes use of valuing our goals in meeting the other. Good good. This has to do with the first survey which again is job/community natured. I’m not sure if sister is still planning on getting the volunteer from the school/brothers, but we would hope to put out something of a plan to him.
Now for the next goal and the next. We had basically written in the CARF that we were going to assess jobs, quality of life, and natural supports. We are very interested in the survey written by one of the head MR guys named Schalock who put together a quality of life instrument. We brought home approximately a 30 page manual on the testing of the instrument, we did a lot of reading in between and the third book we purchased was by the author called Quality of Life for People with Intellectual and other developmental disabilities applications across individuals, communities, and systems. Basically, what we want to do here is to set up testing so that we can evaluate progress in that we would hope that individuals who were at our center were learning to develop a higher quality of life. We need some kind of measuring stick to figure out how we are doing than simply by client and family survey. They are good, but not complete. This book purports to be a blueprint to us as a center in enhancing QofL It provides an assessment and methodology based in needs and outcomes and it gives ways in which this is all helpful to the client at all levels of the game. It also suggests itself as a means to measure performance – though it is not positive at this time whether they speak to the performance of individual and their goals, or the performance of staff as supports. Either would be fine.
The other two books are both on positive behavior support – one on designing plans and the
other as a resource guide in curricular training. This becomes important as to one of the other goals for the week of arranging that staff all go to a positive behavior training program. This had another use in that the staff really wanted to get out of the building to learn something. We set it up so that half were going to Elgin an hour away and the others were going to stay back in the city. One way or another, we will hope they learn skills so they can stop asking how to resolve behavior problems. I think the material is going to teach them how to make learning opportunities out of these other needs.
Finally, the last survey is the supports intensity scale. This measures support needs of the individual across domains of home, community lifelong learning, employment, health and safety, and social. I have been looking over that one and I still have mixed results. It’s becoming a standard issued test, but I’m unconvinced yet that its need is urgent. I am thinking that most of our clients are going to evaluate at the moderate level which will tell us very little about them.
It will graph out their needs which could be commonsense, but not supported. If a client scores an 11 or 50%ile rate at behavior due to self-injury, then didn’t we already know then to support that need? It does add structure that is full-balanced. Considering each of these different things, so and so is doing ok, or needs more assistance. Or, possibly the individual needs more training. We are not really a service that goes round the clock and some things might be like can cook for himself 0, but its do to a more than helpful mom than inability to do the chore. This instrument makes it appear that all these things have equal bearing on the individuals’ life. If the individual had money and transportation then he could access public buildings, the fact he doesn’t work and gets confused make it likely that he’ll score higher, hmm, but they are nestled together, so that when we evaluated job, and then social or lifelong learning we might see where one impales the next. I think we would then have to evaluate the kinds of support that we would be able to give.
Ok, we’re back. It’s about 3:15 pm now. We’ve been going over the SIS. I could definitely see more value in it than I had before. It orders things so relatively easily. Just now too I could imagine pulling out special groups. Like the group could score in a set amount of percentiles say 80 and above, 40-80, or 0-40 and according to that number they could be given specific lessons on how to do things keeping practicality in mind. For example, hmm that would be again 1-40, 40 - 75 and 75 – 99. Or, in a sense the low medium and high groups. If an individual scored high in all but employment and community then he would be pulled aside for that with others of that ability. Still thinking though that our groups at the center are averaged out so they are falling within a range previously sorted. Hmm, just looking at the scoring that they needed. I could see how they made an assessments out of the needs … I’m a bit concerned over the generics of it in that each of the six groups points to from 7-9 areas of need, so in general you are providing support for a variety of 40 to 60 settings, which hasn’t told you square one how to take care while we are at that issue. For example if the individual was self-injurious it wouldn’t tell you how to fix it, but it might point out the amount of time to be spent here or the amount of direction, for example verbal or just monitor. I guess it comes down to its purpose as a guide not cure, but it would be helpful in directing attention. I could see assessing the 4th group and the individual needing more support due to self-injury as being alma, so when the staff is directing their time and attention, perhaps she is in more need and then receives more staff assistance.
Ok, drawing to a long drawn-out close … these are the three assessments we are considering … job, QofL, and supports. I would have to think more seriously of how those all fit together.
Maybe in a little bit we’ll look more at the QofL. We had that one last report to study. But, I wanted to get on with more sense of where we are at work. I do feel we’ve advanced these last causes somewhat, but more has to be done before we project them as part of a learning plan.
Ok, the next part and we say this noting we’re already long of wind – page 22, and long on time – 3:45 pm, that we should have some stopping place in mind about an hour and a half out. Then perhaps we’ll eat dinner and spend the rest of the evening reading. If for nothing else, but to give our hands a break.
Hmm, I think we are going to focus now more on the jobs left to do to see if we can’t mobilize some sort of pattern. I would like to say that a lot of jobs earned their black dot this week, but not nearly enough to detract from the stack. Maybe if we tried listing out by dot color. That would give it a first level of priority. We’ll also start from the oldest to the newest.
Red – urgent needs to be done now
Yeeks … forgot … progress Latino grant
That’s the only one … I think that is gaining more priority as minimal a 5 hour project. If we’re going to be at Maury’s at 11, it means being ready to leave here by 10:15 … Woo too early … we wouldn’t want to start at 5. What does time after look like … Probably home by 3 and Rich home by 6 … that would give us 3 hours … hmm, better plan on starting by 7:30 am going to 10:15, and then 3 to 6. Not sure if I can keep those hours, but it would be a goal. The other option, of course, is that we do some work on it tonight, and put off the reading of the Qof L report until tomorrow morning. Basically, all of this surveys thing has been a part of making our curriculum plan. Noooo, we have not forgotten it. Just looking for an easy way to ease into it.
The grant is hot though. Maybe I should cut over into all that in an hour – or 5 pm. That give us til about 10 or about 5 hours, then we can reassess by tomorrow.
Ok, then we have an hour to plan out the orange priorities. Let’s look at that.
1. Check outstanding client file documents
2. Devote one day a week toward CARF – work on the performance analysis
3. Consider staff in-services and thinking group every other week
4. Check out DVD order – see sister about budget and priorities
5. Complete insurance motor vehicle report – next step write two policies
6. Learn how to use Sister’s camera – get instruction book (check with Rosa)
7. Check that OIG papers were completed by Holly
8. Further improving our computer system – next step web seminar on technology
9. Purchase Norton 360
10. Check on call to attorney for subpoenas, search warrants, investigations, and other
11. Assure that physical fitness constraints are being met for job descriptions
12. Advance the 3 surveys, job/community, QofL, and Supports
13. Evaluate Annual report
14. Send in forms for Gifty to evaluate Candace as Q candidate
15. Schedule Candace for course at Anixter
Ok, that seems doable, right? Let’s look over the list in total.
Hmm, we’ll need to also include in here work on the annual, and what was the last step of the CARF stuff started originally. No that was it there were 5. 1) purchase Norton, 2) first aid, 3) motor vehicle report, 4) job descriptions, and 5) research on the 3 surveys. Hmm, AND then there is the part of the annual, which sort of holds the position of training the new Q. Basically we need to include a
16. Advance the Annual and Q training
Number 16 is red hot and it’s necessary to stop all the others, if we need to be progressing that.
It is an ongoing project. I think we will make Tuesdays our day to work on CARF, because that is the day the new Q is working with the old Q.
Hmm, looking at the schedule … If we could keep it tight, we could get everything on the list done this next week, but that would mean about 8-10 hours overtime. We need to consider there are about 3 hours of built in meetings IF things don’t go long. Plus, sister is taking up some serious time with her impromptu meetings. Let me think could that be a fair week’s worth of work.
Mon 10.5 (+ meeting for staffing)
1. Advance the Annual and Q training (3-4 hours per day)
2. Consider staff in-services and thinking group every other week (curriculum) 1-2 hours per day
3. Complete insurance motor vehicle report – next step write two policies 2-3 hours
4. Send in forms for Gifty to evaluate Candace as Q candidate (30 min)
5. Schedule Candace for course at Anixter (30 min)
6. Further improving our computer system – next step web seminar on technology (half an hour)
Tues 10.25 (+ meeting w/Rich)
1. Devote one day a week toward CARF – work on the performance analysis 8 hours
2. Consider staff in-services and thinking group every other week (curriculum) 1-2 hours per day
3. Purchase Norton 360 (15 minutes)
Wednesday 10 (+ meeting for staffing)
1. Advance the Annual and Q training (3-4 hours per day)
2. Consider staff in-services and thinking group every other week (curriculum) 1-2 hours per day
3. Advance the 3 surveys, job/community, QofL, and Supports (3-4 hours)
Thursday 8.25 hours (+ staff meeting and Dr. M)
1. Advance the Annual and Q training (3-4 hours per day)
2. Consider staff in-services and thinking group every other week (curriculum) 1-2 hours per day
3. Check out DVD order – see sister about budget and priorities (1-2 hours)
4. Assure that physical fitness constraints are being met for job descriptions (.25 hours)
Friday 9.5 hours (+ meeting – Thinking group)
1. Advance the Annual and Q training (3-4 hours per day)
2. Consider staff in-services and thinking group every other week (curriculum) 1-2 hours per day
3. Check outstanding client file documents 2-3 hours
4. Check that OIG papers were completed by Holly (5 min)
5. Check on call to attorney for subpoenas, search warrants, investigations, and other (5 min)
6. Evaluate Annual report (.25)
Weekend
1. Learn how to use Sister’s camera – get instruction book (check with Rosa) weekend work
Ok, good we’ve got all that timed out. With this we could get a major important chunck done, but it is going to take all week to do it. If we devoted ourselves especially on that 3-4 hours per day annual, we could be feeling pretty good about it. Big 8 hours on CARF, good work on the curriculum … and all the other orange tasks good. Now the problem is that there are more tasks than this. We haven’t covered the yellow, blue, and green tasks. For now let’s just pretend there wasn’t any blue and green, and just worry about the yellow.
Ok, let’s make another list. Hmm, this means we’re back 20 hours into next week. With the regulars of annuals, curriculum and CARF that means we’re into another full week of overtime – IF there wasn’t anything more scheduled. But, there is this nice part that the majority of this list could be complete in 2-3 weeks. This is of course with the assistance of Candace. She’s a major player in all this … REALLY! Plus some of the work could be taken home. Would be better to get back to walking, but there’s a lot of work to get done.
1. Write Joel’s goal - Candace
2. Complete Qnotes - Candace
3. Check into Sr’s progress with courses over at St. Mary’s - moment
4. Talk to school counselor about canceling school – half hour
5. Check Bethsda Luthern for in-service tapes and up-date book – 8 hours
6. Complete the typing of DSP In-service book 1-2 hours
7. Check in on the Satisfaction survey over at the Leadership group half hour
8. Sign-up for membership in ICAN “Improvement through curriculum Awareness and
Networking” half hour
9. File client and other – 10 min
10. Read through audit report 10 min
11. Register Theresa and check status of Stephanie 2-3 hours
12. Pull SS# for all staff to run complete register 2-3 hours
13. Check status or help needed for one year report - moment
14. Check to see status or help needed to engage Gage Park program - moment
Ok, good good … we’ve done some good advance scout work. I like conceiving that we could complete all this work. When we start back on Monday … we’ll go over to this new book and hope to complete as a goal this other book by a goal of August 10th. That over-schedules us, but takes into account that there will be more tasks added before completing the others. We would have to decide then whether to complete the blue/green (two weeks to more than a month projects), or to carry them over. I’d really not like to take any red, yellow, or orange, with us.
Deal?? Ok, good … this is what we mean by planning.
It’s 5 pm now and our dinner is in the microwave. It’s taken a whole day and 26 pages to get here, but I think we’re at the end of the blog for today. Remember we are going next and for the rest of the night into grants. See you briefly tomorrow … thanks V for reading. You're Great!
AHA! And one more surprise picture of the fishyman ... God Bless the ground he walks on - oh and that goes for the stone he stands on too!
