Starting up the Morning ...
Good morning … we’ve been up for a little bit already. V. stopped by just long enough to say he was talking to T. That’s cool … tried to talk to T yesterday, but she was just signing off. Mostly though what we’ve been working on is our paper already. Not hard core paper, just listening to the recording we’d made. I’m feeling pretty good with the process. A little dismayed though how slow I am. It’s not that we aren’t always thinking, because during the hour and 50 minute session, we continued to work throughout. BUT, I can’t seem to make our mind work any faster than one tiny step at a time. I’m not able to look at the big picture so well and I need all the little details to be holding a relevant place in my mind and paper, and it seemed at the end just tracing my marker statements to the author and age of the people being tested was a lengthy, frustrating process.
We had gotten and will have to face this morning some means of shortcutting the system, because it is entirely too long. We had to take 8 steps to get from original paper down to being able to write the one paragraph. Obviously, the entire paper is going back and covering the areas in between. Hmm, maybe that is not real obvious. Shoot … will need to get a grip on it EARLY this morning. We are also going to need testing whether or not we can record with the air conditioner going, because it is much too hot to be working without it. I wish we had a quieter unit.
We’ll give ourselves a period of drinking coffee to fully become awake before jumping back into things. Gives us a chance to talk a little about our friend.
He was over last night at exactly 3 pm. Didn’t expect that … He had left an email, but we were so busy we didn’t catch it. As you might imagine there were lotsa hugs. He gave me a few minutes to post what I had been doing. And, then we sat down to talk over some … ummm PRIVATE business, and where squirrels and bunnies go I guess there was playing and playing and playing and playing. Hehehehe. He’s such a fun friend. As tradition goes there was plenty of back rubbing to go along with all that, and somewhere along the line … most a pizza was eaten.
Toward the end we talked a little about our business. Think the main things were the annual with Sister and meeting up with Dr. M. OHHH and how the animals were getting along! The great majority of the time was talking about FISHING! I didn’t feel like I was going to get enough of the conversation … kept asking questions.
I think it was an ok trip, but not stellar. The food was ok, but there was not enough of it, except shore lunches. Things were necessarily different because one of the guys sons were there and his 80 year old father and the father’s 84 year old friend, though I guess that didn’t keep the friend from mooning from the boat. SHEESH you never know! The mosquitoes were a problem, but he said no more than normal. EXCEPT, the doors on the cottages didn’t sit square so, the beasties were getting in. Our friend and the friend he was bunking with kept their lights off on their half, so the mosquitoes would then bother the OTHER guys and not them. Sneaky, sneaky! Heheheh The fishing was ok, but a lot more small fish caught then large. AND, they did bring some walleye and northern back with them. I think most of it is going to our friend’s mother. I think it’s a lot of trouble to cook them, because he wasn’t sure he wanted to go the route bringing some here. It’s not that I’m such a big fan of fish …just once want to see what its all about. I think mystically, I’d be pretty swept to know I’d eaten something he’d fished for. Hehehe I think he figures the mother can cook the bunch he brought back for her husband’s family, because it seems like quite a bit. I think they’d like it too because its better when you know the fishyman.
It seems that some business was talked about, but I think it wasn’t brought up very often. It seems there is enough to worry about between them, but people just wanted to fish. Our friend said he got in over 10 hours a day and could have gone for more. He said they had a Indian guide who was a tribal teacher during the day, but that they’d go out at night without the guide. He said they’d just go out to the middle of the lake and kind of drift for an hour and a half or two. He said wayyyyy out there there was no mosquitoes! He also said the cottage was warm. I don’t think there were any fans, and certainly there was no air. He said the bed was comfortable enough and that I think they were so tired at the end of the day that he slept through his friend’s snoring. I also think there was card playing every night. I forgot to ask if they had much to drink, but I know our friend isn’t a very big drinker. Even on his wild nights its usually never more than 3. I did of course ask if there were any beautiful women! He says there wasn’t a one in the camp, except the owner’s wife. Yeeks surely wouldn’t want to go there … I guess this was a small camp, because there were only about 30-36 people there.
All in all our friend wayed out the experience … I think he graded it between a B- and a C+. Having second helpings on the food would have gone a long way. I remember a neighbor we used to babysit for who did that … very small helpings and only one. I used to HATE eating at her house. YEEKS! It turned out one of her daughters grew up to be bulimic … go figure!
I think our friend was glad to be back, but I think he was thinking he was only missed because his family ran out of money. That’s terrible! I hope he was only feeling a little cranky and that they were really happy to see him. I KNOW his son loves him especially. He’s always been called the little guy and I have known for 13 years he was a huggy bear like his father. That gives me great pleasure to think about. Hmm, anything else? Hehehe well there is plenty, but not much more I’m willing to give up! We take the greatest pleasure in massaging our bunny friend and making sure he feels real good. He still brings tears to my eyes to thing about. He’s just that wonderful. He’s already planning on his next fishing trip. I think he’s going on one with his brother, and we hope he gets one more with him before the season is out. That relationship is turning out to be very good for him, I think. And, after that he’ll be back out with his bass club. And, if he needs a relief in between there is supposed to be some kind of water right next to where he lives. It’s a funny thing about fishing … it seems to keep you just active enough so that it is far distanced from TV watching, but is unstressful as if sitting in a giant God recliner. Gooo fishyman!
Hmm, back to our life … hmm? I’m afraid the thoughts aren’t nearly as interesting … most is on our mind right now is the paper and we’ll have to be getting to it sooner than not … It’s just a few minutes to 7 am right now and we’ve just got back from the washroom, coffee, and taking our medicine … ON TIME! Hehehe Soooo…. Anything else going on? Worrying about the air on at the same time we’re taping … don’t see how else we could do it … opening up the door sends in real uggy muggy weather. It’s already 80 degrees out there and there is a 40% chance of severe thunderstorms. Good weather to be IN! Good luck all you party-goers and bbq people! Our friend says that he has a game tomorrow night and work in the morning, but he will be in sometime during the afternoon. He just might be bringing BBQ tips, but unfortunately, he owe a guy a game so there will be no firework/slushies with him this year. It’s not real bad, in that we know we can always see some fireworks from the balcony. Just enough to get us a little excited and the cats to cowering. They want nothing of that and, of course, people are already trying out their supplies. Our concession to 4th of July is that we changed our IM to include a little flag waving.
We talked a little to V this morning and he said that T’s mother and Christina’s grandmother will be going into surgery for lung cancer tomorrow morning at 8 am. We want to add here our prayers for this special lady and her family. God bless you! We’ll want to make sure we get in a call to our Grandmother tonight. It’s been a few days now and we’ll want to see how she is doing. I haven’t even asked if she’s got plans for the 4th. She’ll probably tell me she’s seen enough fireworks at her age, that she can get along without them, but I would delight at the sparkle in her eye as she saw another set. I think it’s hard to get her out on a group activity even if she wanted to go. People are great, but not in the schedule for near bed time. I’m not sure either, have to find out officially whether the fire works are today, tomorrow or both. Might just stay up to watch some. YAYYYYY!!! Maybe some of the animals would join us this year! I certainly wouldn’t feel safe with them on the balcony wall, but surely the table is secure enough. Oh oh chance of thunderstorms tomorrow up to 60%. BUT, maybe that means our friend WON’T be having a game. Hehehe we could both sit in the comfort of our living room. Hmm, do they have fireworks in the rain? Better check that out … V. will know. Looks like its rain in the forecast from now through Tuesday. I sure hope this isn’t going East to the East Coast. My understanding is that they’ve had their fill of water. Hmm, in Denver it is only 59 right now … nice! And, Caspar, Wyoming 54! Maybe that’s coming our way!
Hmm, our thinking here is that we should start work by 8 am. That means I should probably get this posted pretty soon, because we like to read over what’s been written. I’m a little worried though about our standing for the big paper. Maybe we better talk about that for a few minutes. I really did like doing the recording. And, it was kind of cool to start it this morning to check where we were at. It leaves the next person out some direction to go in. I would have been more comfortable to end strongly, so that we knew for sure what we’d have to do. I think we’re going to stop here though and go back to the recording as we figure out the next part. In general, we need to finish the paragraph we were working on … and get back to the global picture. Need to process faster the huge volume of resources, OR take the number of resources down. And, that’s something that no one wants to do right now.
I think one of the reasons why were so strongly into it right now is that the paper itself is saying that self-talk or speech to yourself and others is a very good means of producing results, or in being able to problem solve. It seems that in general given certain circumstances one can think in support of self, which leads to a feeling of empowerment, and that feeling of empowerment is assisted by self-speech (explanations to self). All of that IS self-regulation and that if one is self-regulating and self-motivated to learn, then you are more apt to set goals and carry them through, which again produces desired results. Pretty cool, hmm? This next paragraph is where we are officially at at this moment.
Competence, learning, intervention and assessment lead toward cognition and problem solving [De Corte – Elementary]. Problem solving is metacognitive awareness. Self-change comes from social and personal empowerment. As one means of completing tasks or solving problems is the relevancy of social and private speech [Bielaczyc – Young adults/college]. One can perform their objectives, learn and problem solve (acquire knowledge) from self-explanation and self regulation. Self-regulation and self-motivation comes from greater control and proactive learning. If you are self-regulated (learning) you are better motivated to orientate, set, evaluate your goals [DeShon – Workers, Fuches – Elementary].
Pretty much a summary of what we’ve just mentioned. It seems that this whole paper process is a matter of expanding and condensing information so that we can figure out patterns that have not been as clearly stated before by other authors. It is the process of putting it together that it becomes our work. Which, for the record, is pretty darn cool. As we struggle through with our time limitations, we also know that everything we do is in a process of learning how to think through papers, so that hopefully, one day further down the road, we are able to put together with some familiarity our dissertation. I know that’s pretty long-range thinking, but even on a course by course basis, we recognize that we become better at what we are doing each lesson or unit and paper done. These final papers are like major markers. Kind of like a command performance of putting together everything you know to this point. Of particular concern this time is in the process of pulling together researched material. We know that we weren’t able to do this for the multi-cultural course. In that course, we were marked way down for our lack of resources. We had thought we were going to use them, but when crunched for time, we went with what was familiar rather than pulling the research together. Really was a shame, because we’d done research all along the way, even when our peers were not.
Whoops a little dizzy … we might need to get something to eat before we start officially. 7:30 am now. I’m guessing the diabetes medicine is taking affect, which means it is trying to regulate down our glucose, but since we’ve eaten nothing so far this morning, it is too low and making us dizzy. I know, I know .. so go eat! Sheesh ok, hold on … One more quick thought. I’m not sure why and each of you would have to try it out yourself, but while I’ve been typing this last part, I’ve got the recording we made yesterday playing in the background. I am very uncertain why, but the sound of our own voice seems to be very reassuring in a manner that is feeling very appreciated. I have a sense of liking who I am and what I am doing as I am doing it. It’s sort of like the feeling I would imagine you get from reading out loud to someone or being read to. There must be something good about hearing the human voice. ESPECIALLY, if you like the person you are hearing.
One more quick side-note here. Friday night we took the opportunity to go to an on-line meeting for people who are multiples, like us. I’ve been an infrequent visitor to this meeting for many years, at least 7. The problem usually becomes because one of the members unfamiliar with us gets a little unhappy with us being new to the room next to her own feelings of security. I am grateful that the leader of this group feels comfortable with us and over a long period of time has sent us along with others reminders of the meeting place and time. At this last meeting, as could be guessed someone was very vocal about expressing her feelings of mistrust for us. Since we expected that we were able to maintain older parts, rather than become defensive with our younger parts. This allowed us to enjoy the experience a little more, even though rocky. I felt good at the end because even though the woman’s younger part was telling me out loud she didn’t like me and that I made her unhappy and mad, that could be considered part and parcel of a process of getting to know one another. She needed to know we could handle the situation especially when she acts out. Basically, do I remain a safe person, no matter what. I think I passed the test, because at first she said good bye specifically to only the others in the room she was familiar with … I held back waiting to see and in the patience showed, she decided to say good bye to me too even though she said she didn’t like me … which of course, really meant I was accepted just a little bit.
I would like to do more with other multiples. It is such a unique group experience. And, there was a little conversation when the room had lessoned in numbers to only myself, one other and the leader, and then the leader left too and we had the chance to talk with just one other multiple. That was a very good conversation that went on for about a half hour. I think our general situation in life was much more secure than hers, although it seemed we’d both been working through multiple issues for the same long amount of time. I liked the idea of being in this group a lot. I have always wanted to be more a part. I wish the meetings were longer and I wish there were more of them. I think there might be more, I will have to check that part out, but in the meantime, we’d like to make more of a commitment toward becoming known to this group. I have a lot to learn and have always appreciated learning from patterns discovered. And, I think I can contribute to group dynamics. In general, I really believe multiples to be creative and intelligent, so the dynamics found naturally are actually pretty darn cool. I want to be a part of the whole and am willing to work toward that.
AHA! We wrote the leader, Hawk an email. I asked about more meetings and I also asked if she had time in her life to get to know us and let us know her a little better. I think she is different than the rest in that she’s most likely more stable than others. Not to say, as you and us know there’s only so much stability to go around, but in general I think we’re like her in being able to maintain older more responsible parts more often than not. I also have an idea that Hawk has continued her education along the line. I know she does a good job at facilitating the group and meeting members’ needs. We have in mind that we can more laterally support her and learn as we go along … anything that allows us to grow stronger is good.
Yeeks. Now it is 8 am … time we get this show on the road. I’ll meet up with you after awhile while we write the paper. Please let us find that the air isn’t so noisy we can’t be recording. Ok, one, two, three … JUMP!
posted by Ann Marie @ 7/02/2006 08:02:00 AM
Comments: 1
