Ayn's Multiple World

Let's go to bed ... again, and again and again

Good morning … this is me. We’re going to see if we can stay up this time … maybe it might mean reaching for the coffee and putting something on that will keep me from the chills. Think that’s part of snuggling with sleepy bear. We just want to warm up. Well ok ok … maybe there is some mush stuff involved. Umm, let’s move on.

Good, good. Ok, all that is taken care of. Now just have to deal with the meowy cat. I’ve been petting her. Not sure what she wants, but we shooed her away. No one wants to be meow-pecked early in the morning. HMPF!

Hmm, ok … Where are we going this morning? Today is a Friday … so thank goodness we got to that. There has been a change of plan though. Instead of seeing Joe do karate, we are going to be going with Rich to Michigan. I had forgotten about his tentative plans until he brought them up yesterday. I still feel bad about canceling Joe’s event. He sounded ok when I called, but that might be a front.

Usually, when the boys suggest something … I’m there for them immediately. This one I feel much shame over. I think he really likes it when I come. If he makes the extra effort at getting me there I should come. But, then again it’s a big event with Rich to go on a trip with him. He did it especially for me. He wanted to get me out of the house for a while, I think especially in consideration of all his trips he takes with the guys. He’ll be gone with them again next weekend.

I did learn that he also snuck in a golf outing in the middle of the week. I don’t know how that ended up, but its occasion enough to write. I think maybe he feels a little guilty, because he’s always leaving so much work aside, but then there is something within him that needs to be able to take off freely when he wants to go - again perhaps this ideal of semi-retirement. I say go for the gold or maybe in this situation – the silver or grey.

Rich has only got a few more minutes to sleep … it’s 4:36 am and he’ll be up in 9 minutes. Maybe I should be thinking nice restful thoughts for him. Ok, you … forget the idea of going in to snuggle … you can do it … the force is strong.

I should make a little note that we lost another pound. We’re now at 266. I figure that’s about 1/3 of the way down to 200, but that might be a lot to take in – or per say take off. Better concentrate on the smaller increments. Right now we’re past 40 pound mark and so we should be shooting to hit to 50’s. Wow … this is really happening.

Hehehe … we went into say good morning to our friendly face friend anyway. BUT, we didn’t lay down. That’s the part that nabs you. We massaged him until he started to stir, then talk – umm mumble, and then finally sit-up and then go to the washroom. Yep, yep … you get it all here first! He was very warm at first … I think that he’s sometimes just too cuddly. We felt like a zapper of that warmth.

Because we’d massage – and since he was no longer under his blanket the heat would then dissipate leaving me with a sense that I’d taken it from him. I don’t know if that is humanly accurate, but it did leave me feeling fairly powerful.

Well, now as to yesterday … what happened? First thought was that we had had quite a few meetings and by that we mean two officially. We had the admin meeting and the staff meeting. Both I felt had gone pretty good. Sister was in a good mood, especially by the end of the 2nd meeting. The first meeting she seemed to have a lot of business conversation to get through. She included a part on CARF. I hadn’t realized she’d be turning that opportunity over to me, but it seemed to turn on a good conversation on where we were and the recent developments with new standards books. I talked just a few moments before the others took back the floor and then I just contributed as someone as knowledgeable as not. It was good to get her on the table again.

We told the group about finding it easier to use the paper tiger to pull things out. Sister heard especially the part that maybe it meant that Ann would do the survey instead of her and I could tell she appreciated that in a more fearful … oh please don’t make me do it manner. Of course, sister would never use those words, but I could see the nightmare like expression on her face in even thinking of all that work ahead. She reminded me to be handing in the sections as soon as they were finished for her to be typing them in the book. I think that the sections from me are too long, but maybe she can condense them, or at least leave them the way they are. I’m of course running a Word copy of them and in the process typing out the question so that anyone reading it can refer directly to it without going back to a source book. I think that should be sufficient, but I’m not sure if sister is ready to leave it as it stands. I think that she gains something in the transference of information over to the other format. Maybe it is like her review and editing all at the same time. So we’ll have to see what happens when she receives the first section.

I feel somewhat guilty in that … I really want to be working on CARF more than most other tasks. But, I think as mentioned yesterday to work on anything means your neglecting something else. Sister talked about hiring the new guy that’s interviewing, but I don’t know if she’s going to get him, or if we really want him.

Rich was like me … doubtful that he’d really be interested in a position that earned so little. He thought then maybe if the guy got an early retirement from the school district that this could be his way of picking up a little more. He lives real close to the center – just he’s much too educated for the position. We’ll have to see.

Hmm, more of the meowy kitty … I wish she wouldn’t do that to me. What about independence and all that? Ahh, we just invited her up and gave her a really long pet, or at least for her. She only tolerates 5-10 minute pets where Chief could take it for hours. I think maybe that Missy was concerned over what Rich was doing. She feels sometimes unsettled when we are moving around. The kitties often follow us unless it’s mid-morning when they’re seriously napping in the back. I think it’s nice they show so much interest in us. Right now, she seems much more concerned with what Rich is doing. He’s opened the door to let go of some of the steam, and I think Missy is then feeling better. Maybe part of her meowing is that she doesn’t like when doors get shut leaving her out of the action. BUT, then again … could be a thousand other things … it’s hard to understand the moods and motivations of kitties.

At least now for a few moments she is quiet again.

So back to the meetings … don’t want to say a whole lot there. Whoops, especially now that we had to go supervise Rich getting dressed. Pshwoo. I don’t know what he would do without me! We talked over a few small things, but it ended with a small conversation on not having the proper medicines. He said that we had to get them to go on our trip. We’re out of 3 of them now. Maybe I should take care of it now?

*Sigh*

Ok, back … we took care of that. We talked to a female doctor on call at that hospital. She was able to access Dr. Marvin’s records of me. I had to go through the part where they check you to see if you are in danger to yourself or to others.

I had had a self-destructive dream last night where I seemed to know how depressed I was … but, for the record I’m not suicidal or planning anything right now. She is calling in the prescriptions just to get me up to Thursday when I see Dr. Marvin again. I think this is going to cost me double this month. I wish I would have realized I was so close to being out while Dr. Marvin was still in town. The insurance company doesn’t care if you get 5 or 30 pills, it’s still going to cost a lot.

We found that we’re now out of 4 of the 6 medicines. I hope … Ahh, she called back. She is putting in a one month’s dosage instead of a few days. We’re very grateful for that. She had to actually prescribe 3 of them, two of them were already, ready. That works for me. I’m hoping that they will be ready on my way to work. That gives them an hour and a half. Hmm, we’re going to have to slow down and concentrate. I’ve got now 20 minutes before I take a shower. It’s going to be ok, right? It wasn’t until I was talking to a doctor that I started to feel this vulnerable. We told her though … it’s been two days for a couple of the medicines.

I’m really not doing well with that … She said then that she would write a record of the call and give it to Dr. Marvin. I hope he doesn’t get in trouble for NEGLECTING his patient!

That’s sort of how it feels right now. This doctor had at first said something about there being a doctor who would cover for mine, but he didn’t tell me who and that message didn’t seem to get connected in that 2 days ago I asked Walgreens for the medicine … and no doctor covered the pharmacy call. Makes me feel that much more vulnerable. I do however know about there being always a psychiatrist on call. That’s worked for me in the past. I don’t like that I’m now having thoughts of whether or not we’re safe. Maybe we should be trying to talk about something else. K?

Where are we going? Anything else about yesterday? Just looking at a stone wall, right now. I’m getting all those thought on wanting not to go to work. I want to stay here where it’s safe, but I know I’m going to want to take off some time on Tuesday for the cable guy – and today is really the busiest day for the leadership group. There are 9 people supposed to be there.

It’s me again… we’re back. We just had a melt-down. We weren’t real bad and then all of a sudden we were terrible. I still feel bad now … I’m teary. I can’t tell you how or why this terrible spell just overcame us. We were zipping along and now we’re an emotional mess. A while ago we wrote to Sr. about not coming in … then we called Rich. We’ve been whiney and achy and blechy. Rich told us to take a shower, so we did that, and when we were done showering we came out here, but couldn’t write … we didn’t want to do anything but sleep. So we laid down until now … Rich just called back to check on us. I feel that some pressure was taken off by canceling work and that much more by taking a nap. Rich is not sure now if we can go out of town. There wasn’t anything I could say about it. Being like this I don’t want to go anywhere anyway. I’m so scared that the pharmacy is going to email and say our medicine is here and then Rich is going to expect that we go get it. I want my brain to feel better, but it still feels terrifying to go outside.

Not sure where to go here now. I want to write … just it would take a whole lot to gather myself to being able to do so. Can’t yet make my head think clearly. Hmm, don’t think we took what we have of the medicine yet. I don’t remember what is there and not there. I think we’re out of two and this might be the last of two more. I know the common sense thing would be to take what is there. Just that everything feels hard. Why does Dr. Marvin have to go for so long? Doesn’t he know we need him?

Shoot … shoot … got to make these feelings stop. We need another part. Maybe if we take the medicine another part can come out? Maybe she won’t be as whiney as me. I can’t imagine another way to feel though.

We’ve taken some medicine now, but there was just 3 of the 7 we usually take. We had one left of the one we’re supposed to have two of.

Shoot … things we’re going ok a little while ago … how do I get back? For the record the medicine we do have was taken at 7:45 am. Ok, we got to make this stop.

SHHH, SHHHH!!!!!

We are feeling like such a failure. Maybe we could go look at the Marine stuff?

We’re back. It’s about 9:30 am now … so, we’ve been out and around for a bit.

Feeling tired again. It took us an hour and 45 minutes to post an entry, do some reading, and write 5-6 letters. No, they are not very long letters, but they are important.

Now the key is can we stay up for a bit, or are we going to crash again.

I think we’ve eaten a house worth this morning. We had pineapples first, then some tomato soup and we dabbed at that with some tortillas. We’re feeling pretty full.

We’re just having a real stumbly time with our brain. I’m wondering now if it would help or hurt if we turned on the TV, or if it would be better that we turned on some music. Maybe that would be the way to go.

We turned on Rhapsody and then tuned into artist channel for Nature moods radio.

Right now we’re listening to Island memories from Nature Insight. That’s what we need … real mellow. I toy with the idea of opening the drapes, but the stronger part of me wants to be in the dark … the cool shallow dark which matches my mood.

I’m pretty sure that Sister Theresa isn’t too happy with me, but by this time she knows I’m not coming in … nothing left to be done.

Maybe another nap…

Ok, ok … I know it’s confusing, but we’re up again. It’s about 10:40 am. We were drifting in and out and then Walgreen’s called to say our prescription was ready.

They had already emailed me, but now it must be like for really sure. By now our hair has dried and we could get dressed and pick it up, but that feels terrible to me still. Everything is still at the hard level. What would it take to bring it down that’s within our reach?

If we could only focus enough to write seriously – be nice. As if having longer thoughts and more calm than just repeating over and over that we are afraid. What is it that we’re not afraid of? Oh, the music is scaring you. Shoot … I like the nature. Ok, it’s ok just a little quieter. We can live with that … huh? Change it? Damn. Ok, that’s not so bad. We’ll try “Healing Winds.” It seems ok so far.

Pretty much like my channels though don’t know what’s so different - pretty tribal if you ask me - definitely thinking medicine man.

Used the washroom, got some water, our slippers and our feather blanket. That’ll be enough to keep me for a while, right? Now … let’s just have some thoughts.

I don’t want to write about work too much. It seems too scary a place right now. I do want to say that we’re missing not having the CARF … just want to be tuned into something and not have to think so hard about anything else … like people. I wonder if Sister knows how hard it is for me to be around so much. It doesn’t take a whole lot to overwhelm our system. We are not built on longetivity in much. I think there are a lot of windy instruments that are native in this music … like low level flutes. That’s ok. Maybe there is something healing about it. It’s not making me feel as scared, which means some of the small one’s may be settling down.

No, I really don’t want to talk much about being a multiple at this moment. I don’t understand why we can’t stand up for long without falling to our collective knees.

What makes life so hard – what’s the matter with getting a little pressure?

Thinking here of our soon to be DIL who likes or wants to fly planes. Do you think she would cave under so much pressure? Maybe some people were just made to be sturdier? Ok, let’s not make this a big pick on ourselves thing. Thing is we needed to take another path today … let’s just accept that, k? No, you don’t have to understand it. Maybe we are a little more fragile. It wouldn’t be surprising would it? Let’s count it up … physical mobility problems, multiplicity, severe depression, and obsessive-compulsive? Maybe that would explain a little of the problems we’re having? Maybe when you got all that going on … your brain could be considered just wired differently and putting us in regular time is like putting square bolts in round holes. Maybe you can jam it in there, but it’s not going to be a fit that really works well.

No, we’re not advocating that we’re ready to take another trip to the looney bin. I don’t think we’ve gone that far. Just think maybe without our Dr. M. security net that things feel a little more unstable. What would he do if he were here … well yes, besides tell us to take the medicine … maybe he would try to talk to us about why we’re so resistant to getting it. I think in this case we are back to not wanting to leave the house. Not really wanting to leave the chair. We’re in a cavelike world where to think past or behind my shoulders would be hard. Yes, even if we do have a new TV. It’s behind us in the dark space, we don’t want to turn around … bad enough to feel it’s heaviness on our shoulders. When we think of opening the curtain … it’s like noooo, nooo … PLEASE don’t do that! I know kinda strong.

Trying not to wring our hands here. Ok, shhh, shhh … we’d gotten quieter again. I didn’t mean to startle anyone. We’re not going to open the curtain. I wonder what it must feel like to be a normal human being. No, I don’t think we’re normal. I get that point too no one thinks they’re normal. But, I don’t think most go to the point of thinking themselves as abnormal. Yeah … just try to read a Abnormal psych book about now. It probably make more sense. Remember V used to talk about this sort of stuff. Somehow our stated or unstated fears becomes like a wedge or shield from reality. It’s been a long time since we’ve thought about it. Still getting past the point where everything seems hard. We can work ourselves out of this, right?

Rich fixed our DVD thing last night and we watched a movie called, “Crash.” It was about every kind of culture you could think of and people were just living one crazy thought to another. Everyone seemed to be scared or angry of someone else, and the ones that weren’t that way were the victims of those who were. Life turns on a dime and everyone of us affects the other. I don’t know how me being goofy the way I am affect others. I worry about the Leadership group and them doing the presentation today. I don’t think they can do it, but maybe sister would press on. I don’t think Holly really knows that we have a dialogue ready for them. Not saying they were ready yet, but we’d planned to go on. Had that one last mask to cut out … that was doable. Just we weren’t doable.

I think that’s one of the things Dr. Marvin said we could work on next. Is my fears and lack of confidence in being able to do things. That would be a good idea. He might for example ask us what we are afraid of. The first thought would be of failure. I don’t like the part though where the thoughts of failure become life and death matters as it did today. I would rather almost be dead than face whatever was on our platter today. Can only really explain it like a pressure that had to be released. I know that if we were to focus on the being dead thoughts, then there would be a greater chance that we’d follow in that direction. Maybe a bit of the obsessive part of my nature. Sort of like … are you daring me? I could go there.

Like the storekeeper yesterday who went after the lock guy. It was like he had a gun in his hand … saying are you daring me not to kill you. He ends up pulling the trigger, but it’s a box of blanks. That seems to work itself out he thinks he’s saved by an angel.

He was going through a bad head trip like many of the others. Things have to happen to jar us back into thinking things are safer than not. We just had a caution another fear point as an old Indian type voice talked through a few moments on our music. It’s ok, it’s ok. Where are we anyway … what is making us so afraid. So worried. It feels like more of a feeling than a thought. It’s a sense of insecurity. Kind of like things aren’t ok, something bad is going to happen. Just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Think again of Dr. Marvin being out of town.

There’s part of us that wants to connect back with that doctor or a doctor from the university, but then that would lead to a likely admission to the hospital. We’re not actively thinking out that we’re going to harm ourselves and others, so we don’t belong there. Sometimes what happens over there is that people would rather lock you up than take a chance on you not being safe. I know from their stance it seems like a good idea, but it’s not really.

If doctor Marvin would be here he would build on the strengths we have and not the weaknesses. Maybe a little of this was about Rich leaving too. He just went on to his normal business … well pretty much. He was going to sneak off to play some golf today. I know, I know the second time this week. That hadn’t seemed real fair. I really don’t like the idea of working while he’s retired. I think that’s basically what is going to happen. I think he must be feeling somewhat guilty because he’s going away again next week. That’s what I think about this weekend. Hmm, does that enter in here? It would have been a good thing to go out of town with him.

But, I think in part then we weren’t able to focus on that AND going to work. There was too much tension. It seems like we would like to go out, but then again we have to face a change in our elements. There was some relief when Rich said maybe we shouldn’t go. But, then I know he’s going to push that envelope. He is always pushing us to do something or another. Rich’s life is so moving and fluid. When he told me about the golf, I thought, but isn’t it going to be hot? I thought of the warm, damp humidity hitting my legs, arms and face and trying to move at the same time. It made me uncomfortable and I remember thinking that he’s not as worried about that kind of thing. He feels much braver to me. I am not so open to feeling all kinds of startles to my body or mental condition. Again we’re easily intimidated.

I am feeling the softness of my feather blanket. When I start to get too nervous I give it another squeeze. It makes me feel better. Rich will probably say that I have to leave the feather blanket here. He wouldn’t say that against my stuffed dog though. He knows I would never leave the house overnight if it meant leaving it behind. He knows that we couldn’t go to sleep proper without first reaching up to grab its soft tenderness. It’s part of our lifeblood. Every night he hands us the dog before giving us our final kiss for the night. We hold onto that sense as we close our eyes thinking … it’s going to be ok, right … it’s going to be ok.

It’s in general unsettling … we have to know we’re going to be ok all by ourselves.

I don’t think it would be any different than if we were sleeping in the same bed as our sweetie. There is still that final moment when you have to let go of his closeness to be able to shut your eyes and handle the aloneness of a deep sleep. We have to be tricked into the fact that at some time he is going to feel put under by our tight holds and roll over to comfort himself. We want to be in the middle of his tucking as if he were shielding us from all our fears.

I hadn’t thought of that before … the fear in just sleeping. Sometimes though we aren’t afraid of being on our own. Well sort of … we have to account for this time that we are writing. Are we alone, or are we with you, or are we with parts of ourselves? What happens to us when we can sit down and think and write and be more a part of ourselves than if we’d gone out the door to work with others? That’s what it feels like at least … that we’re more real or of ourselves here than at any other juncture. I know though that parts have been in those other elements and think they are more real and alive during those moments. Just those moments aren’t me.

Oh no … now Rich came in the door and he’s cranky. He wanted to start pushing me right away. He brought up my mail … too much of it. And, then he wanted to know about my medicine. And, then when we told him we weren’t going out … he gave me those sounds to let me know that he wasn’t pleased. What’s he doing home anyway … he should go somewhere and be busy. Yes, I think we had an age shrinkage. Pretty sure my lip is hanging out further than my eyebrows. I think he went to the bathroom, but then he is doing something else. Maybe he is making himself lunch.

It is now 11:30 am. We’re not stopping him from golfing and whatever with his friends or leaving me by myself to be with kids tonight … so I don’t know why he’s got to fret over me now. Just go do whatever!

I think the underriding thought is just do it without making me do anything I don’t want to do. So now we’re hiding out here. Usually, we go follow him when he comes in the door, but if we do that … he’ll get some more grouchy on us. He seems to think we can stay and be mature all the time, but he doesn’t know that it’s too hard. I don’t want to go out and I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here with my blanket and that’s all there is to that.

HMPF!

I wonder what he is doing though. Shouldn’t he let me know? No, I don’t want to go find out. I want him to come in here! I think he’s getting something to eat … It sorta sounds like that. Unless he was changing clothes to go golfing, but then I think he’d taken those clothes with him. Doesn’t he seem to golf a lot? Ugh. That horrible phone of his is ringing already … it follows him around everywhere. He said that somebody might have not wanted him to go golfing because of how much time he spends on the phone when he is doing it. I think he is always putting out fires, so he feels obligated to be using it. He’s going to do that even if I get in the car with him and go somewhere. I hate it when he’s always on the phone. Unless I’m thinking private thoughts or am interested in the call he’s making. Then it is ok.

Wow … now it’s two seconds later and he is getting another call. He’s giving someone directions on how to do something. He’s a big wheeler-deeler guy. I wouldn’t like to do him, because he has to work too hard. We can work hard sometimes, but then I need a break. Just nobody bother me that’s what we say.

Sometimes he’s crabby to people on the phone too. Sometimes his boss has to talk to him about that because other people perceive him as yelling at them. Rich just gets exasperated as if he can’t believe the other person on the other end of his communication isn’t seeing things the same way as him.

That’s a not so good part of Rich. We try to stay under the wire, so he doesn’t see us when he’s like this. Because then he’s going to be “yelling” at us to do something too. That be no good.

Man … now it is a few seconds later and someone ELSE is calling. Maybe I can hide for the rest of the afternoon.

How did he go from being our snuggly bear to being a grouchy bear?! Well, maybe sometimes he’s some of both. He definitely can and often does move faster than us.

Like now he’s in a fast mode and we’re in a slow mode. But, then I know there’s other times when he lays about portraying the thought that he should be rubbed.

He’s sorta like a magic Genie. It’s always good luck to be rubbing him.  Just not when he’s cranky! Maybe he just came in to do some business from the house and he’s going to pretend I’m not here. But, then I might get to missing him? He’s so confusing to me.

Which way are we going to have to be? Mostly now we feel defensive. We don’t want him to shake or rattle our cage. Quiet girls, quiet. We’re just going to pretend he’s not there in the other room. Better leave a fence up on the other side of the hallway though … we should here him if he thinks about coming in here. Let’s not go in there ok?

Maybe we’re feeling tired again. Do we need to take another nap? We’ve been up for an hour and a half now. Seems like it would be a good time to snuggle in bed? Or at least the couch or chair? Just that they worrying part seems to be in high effort right now. I feel like we need to close down her mind. Make it run softer.

It’s idling now on high! Just fretting up a storm.

Feel like crying. Shhh. It’s going to be ok. Shhh… let’s think of something new!

You always like that game 

Well maybe. I’d like to think about … being a canoe floating down a windy river that’s soft and easy on my bark. Ok, yes this music is a little weird like that.

But, it would be a good thing just dipping in one paddle at a time … and barely enough to leave a crease in it’s wake. We would have to be looking around? I don’t know … it’s hard for me to look further than the screen. That’s the problem I have when we are at Dr. Marvin’s … I can never look at him in the face. I always feel bad like we’re preparing ourselves to be punished. Dr. Marvin is nicer than that, but we still don’t dare to look up. We don’t want things flying into our eyes.

Well, ok Dr. Marvin usually doesn’t do that, but you never now. It’s better to be prepared.

Yeeks. Rich’s phone is ringing again. Talking to someone who’s mislabeled something. Maybe he talks to people who should get yelled at? Naw nobody needs that … he just makes a lot of people cranky. Let’s go back to our canoe. Maybe it would be nice to be doing it with a virtual reality machine, then you could feel like you’re canoeing, but you can be sitting in your living room. I think that’s where the wii machines seem to be going.

We almost finished our bottle of water … We’re going to have to go in for more, but that would mean being around Rich and that’s still not a good idea. He’s more like talking right now than yelling, but he’s still definably in business mode. Hmm, I didn’t even know he knew someone with the name of Olly. Haven’t heard that name since my old band director. No, let’s not think of him. Maybe we can find a quiet place to canoe to and then we can go swimming. Rich said something about that last night … he said we should bring some shorts and a top that we could wear in the water.

Oh man that was scary. Rich came in here … he came in like a tornado and then he left quickly. He said over and over you got to get your medicine. We said no we’re not going. He said he wasn’t going to go for it … and then we said FINE … don’t go, but we’re not leaving. And then he said why not. So we told him because we don’t want to. Then he said go get your medicine. So we told him we were going to sit in this chair for a million jillion years. But, then he said he had to go and he gave me my kiss and so then we told him GOODBYE!

I hope we don’t have to talk to him for awhile. At least until we got lonely, and then we could talk to him.

I feel there is going to be an I told you so … coming up. He’s probably going to wait until we feel miserable and then he’s going to say … see I told you you should take your medicine. But, that’s not happening right now … so tough kazookles!

I feel pretty tired though … he used up a lot of my best energy. Maybe we could watch TV and maybe fall asleep for a while. We’re going to try that. Our fingers have been worked to the bone! And, my tummies upset from eating the sliced peaches to fast. They are Rich’s peaches so HA! We ate them! Too bad Charlie!

We’re back … it’s now about 2:15 pm. I’m not sure for how long though. I think I’m going to do some reading. We were listening to a concert by Matchbox 20 from a snoozy position. I’m more mellow now … just a little sad. Don’t know where we’re going. Maybe more rest.

Ok, this is all kind of silly. It’s about 4:20 pm now and we just woke up again. I don’t remember having this many naps ever.

I just missed Thom’s call. I hope he calls back again. He probably got on the phone though with someone else.

I’m not thinking so hard any more. Just kinda down.

posted by Ann Marie @ 8/01/2008 04:31:00 PM Comments: 0