Pshwoo ... lot's to be working on.
Good morning … this is me. We got a little time, but we’ve wasted some this morning. We were checking on the phone bills and bank transfers. I had changed some services in Thom’s bill and we’d gotten some money from him, so we opened another account so that we could pay for some of his bills through it. We need to talk to Maury about getting his bills from his father’s house. Think right now though that he is sleeping … He doesn’t work on Thursday’s. In time, in time…We talked to both Joe and Thom last night. It seems that Joe is most likely not going to get the other building yet. He is thinking that it might be better to buy out Steve before he concerns himself with opening another place. It scares me that he would do that, but I know he’s being a good business manager. It’s a gutsy thing to own a place like this. I think that he is worrying too that Steve is not being around very much. I think Joe would like Steve to be teaching a couple of classes – something to show he’s interested in the students and the Dojo. Joe would have to open more classes if he could think of retiring from his present job. I wish he had someway to secure his income while making that change. I don’t think he could do it without a loan – which is just putting off the inevitable that he’s going to need paying out to live. He’s trying to think through though what he would have to do to open for more hours. He’s seeing a full Steve class and a couple private lessons as being very valuable.
I think the thing I worry about most is that he could lose his other Sensei’s … he depends on them a lot to be teaching classes. I don’t think they are charging him for their services. If he had to pay them, or if they would like to get paid … he might be running into trouble. I think in the meantime that I would like to continue looking at the homework situation. I think that’s still workable and I think that Joe is still thinking about that and that he would be able to do it with his present space. I don’t understand that part, but I’m willing to follow his lead. Maybe he could start it with a few clients while he figures the ins and outs of the deal. I’d be willing to support him, however. If it would make a difference to having me be there, I would do that too - anything for the Joe.
As to Thom, we just had a nice IM conversation. He teased me for being motivated.
He had gone to the chapel, but he only said about that that he knows that the chaplain likes to see both of the couples. He’s working hard to get everything pulled together for a wedding and he now has an 08-08-08 date set. That’s coming up real soon. I think that Alexis is planning on going to Florida on the 4th or 5th.
I would like to do something special, but I don’t know what. I’m really limited to money … in that if there were extra money, I would be putting it toward our trip down there. I think even if we were invited, it would be a pretty sudden thing to get down there that fast. We’re talking two weeks from tomorrow. I don’t know if Rich’s budget would allow us to do all that. I’d like to witness the wedding … but, I don’t know if that would set other’s up as not being invited. And, I don’t know if we would be invited – in that maybe they want to do this on their own. Thom said something about Alexis and him just wanting to do it at some desk or another.
He went on then to talk about his PT score. I guess it was pretty lousy as were the other new guys, because they didn’t do any PT while at MCT - PT again being physical training. I know that he is working on it and thinks he could be back to normal in 3 weeks. It might be pretty guy-like to be getting all buff for his wedding. I sure wish it weren’t going to be THIS small.
Hmm, I just called Rich we only talked about 45 seconds, but he said going to Florida in two weeks might be tough and we might have to respect their wishes about it being private. But, then I wouldn’t be a mother if I didn’t want to see my kid getting married. I wonder if the other parents are thinking the same thing. Rich said that we’d talk about it tonight, but I’m thinking he’s not going to buy it.
Plus, he’s going to be out tonight until late … He’s going to a meeting up north, see his friend, and see his son who won’t get off work until 7:30 pm. He won’t be home then until 9 or 9:30 pm. By then I should reasonably be in bed.
I worry about Alexis being so private and shy that she pushes Thom to disconnect from me again. I’m sure she was somewhat involved in all those years Thom didn’t connect with us. Primarily it was on Thom, but she would have been a factor. I know they are talking a lot on the phone or with text messages. I think it might be an all day and into the night thing. I saw just the front page of his bill when I was trying to figure out his service this morning. I saw when he connected to me too, and in comparison there were 20-25 messages between them to every 1-2 of mine.
I think that is what should happen when you’re young and in love. I just don’t want to lose my 1-2 messages to none. I hope he stays liking me. After such a bad experience I feel easily threatened by what my boys can do to our relationship.
Ok, but then that would be thinking overly negative … I need to somehow let go of that space. Maybe it’s something else that Dr. Marvin and us could work through.
That insecurity of being not allowed to be a mother.
Ok, now looking at the glass half full … where are we at? I think we had another day that had unproductive time. We’ve watched the group in the morning and hmm, think it was the day before when we watched the back-part of the lunchtime. I know that we had some trouble with another of our clients. This one who cries out of control when she let’s go. I think that it had something to do with the other staff who was in there. I am cursing our memory.
We just had a quick glimpse through the door about the situation. It seemed as if the staff – Stephanie had Alma pretty much pinned to the closet doors. Maybe she was trying to get her to stop from hitting another client. That’s all within the realm, but I had THOUGHT I’d seen the staff cup her hand as if she was going to give her a back swing. Instead of waiting that situation out to see if it were really accurate, I quickly opened the door. The staff was pretty riled. She grabbed the client’s hand and held it out to me saying you’ve got to get her out of here. I just took the hand and left. Within moments of being in my office … she was back to being ok. But , she’d been shaking the walls for me to have heard her all the way to my office with their door being shut.
I had gone because it seemed so loud, and it had been the second time in the same day. I wasn’t going to chance that the staff might hit her by letting that situation play itself out. But, I think to day I might have to talk to Sr. about it. The staff was pretty jarred. Almost as soon as we’d open the door to leave, Cathy the regular staff had gotten to the outside of the door, so I left the room with Kathy back in charge. Stephanie is just an assistant. I wouldn’t trust her to remain calm, because I think easily of her being a hot head. Often she’s acting “nice,” but I see it’s a strain on her. She’s easily pressured.
Hmm, we’re going to need taking our shower in a few moments, but the other thing I wanted to mention was that I’d worked on the last part of the day AFTER working with Sr. Florine, on completing my notes for upcoming courses in being with the Leadership group. I didn’t want to get over involved because Sue might be back, but in case she weren’t I thought, we should be ready. She’s used up her vacation and sick time for the year … and the New Year just started this month. I had a dream last night that she quit as soon as her time was used up.
I didn’t really have a great positive experience with the Sr. Florine. I had complained about her notes and showed her the errors, but then she continues to write in the next set of responses without checking. I had also told her that it was expected that she be more thorough on the course planning. She’d been writing in some numbers like 117 language, but not listing what she was doing for the exercise. I asked her to go back and refer to Sue’s notes in the same book and how details about the lesson were given. I think the Sr. took it poorly, in that she might have seen me as stepping on her toes. I didn’t mean it to be like that … it’s just that she was ready to say she’d been put out and had done enough work. She was frustrated that she’d have to plan that much in advance, because so often things change. I had told her she should write the plans a month out, because that was sister’s standard.
I’d also tried to explain that things should be done in series. For example, if she knew 5 of her clients could do the hour time, but 4 shouldn’t, then the lesson should be geared toward the two separate conditions. I told her the objectives should build on each other and I told her about Bloom’s taxonomy. I told her I couldn’t expect it from her to be better, because it would put her above the others, but I told her that she was intelligent enough to really make a go of it – as to the client’s really learning from her. We also talked about the clients learning the surface material and then the presenting the undercurrent, which often undermine the problems they are having learning. They have life issues and communications with themselves, the staff and each other as peers. This is where all the behaviors come in that seem undisciplined to her now. I think of the one client explaining she was to act like a girl – and in that way she drew out the experience of being submissive. I think that there is a certain amount of intolerance from them toward each other now. We’re trying to break down some of those barriers. As long as she’s thinking of the one client as BEING the barrier … she’s not really in a good position to teach.
Sr. did poignantly add that she hasn’t been a teacher since her beginning days as a postulate. That could explain some of her frustration. I think she thinks of this work as being difficult, maybe because there are so many emotional obstacles. But, I think that her frustration is part of the obstacle and we have to work with things from that level. I’ve got to do my best in helping that out, by giving her examples of not being frustrated, but by looking at the work methodologically. I think she’s smart enough to do it … just has to look out for that being “obedient” or expecting the clients’ of being obedient. I hope she doesn’t get too frustrated with me for looking at these things, but then I think it’s better if she projects her frustration on me over the clients.
She’d given me some static toward like the others as to how to treat individuals while you are working with the group. And, I said each is a bit different. I asked her to give me an example. She brought up one client who is easily distracted by her own playing. I told her the main trick on that one is to get her attention. I told her not to speak to her with expectation if doing so from across the room.
With this one, you need to stand close to her if not directly in front of her and you need to sometimes even hand over hand tell her that it is time to “put away her things” and for her to get out something you want her to be getting out. Because this one zones out on so many things – you have to get her attention first and teach her how to respond first. Sr. didn’t offer anything negative about that one – so maybe it was a good clue for her.
Teaching is by no means easy, but I’m telling her because of the undercurrent you need to practice communication skills with them while they are having the problems.
She brought up the transition problem not by name, but by circumstance. She smiled stating that she is letting them know 5 minutes in advance that she wants to start a new project and to put away the last. We told her that was excellent, but the next step is helping to guide them through it if they are having obstacles. There’s a way of making a statement to do this or that, but then instead of thinking you have five minutes transition time too, you need to consider that there are those who are going to need assistance. The clients will listen and respect if you are working through problems with individuals as long as they can sense the whole picture coming through. So, you might have to remind one to close the book, and another not to start a talk session, or another to assist a peer because they were quicker than the other. Whatever further instruction is necessary should be given. If you can scan the room and things are working like clockwork – then you have no problems – sit back and enjoy. Remembering of course to compliment them after their process is complete. Tell them what they are doing right to reinforce good habits.
There are about a gazillion things to learn and I can’t say that I know them all. I try to watch though what each is doing that is positive or negative, or to learn from my experience. I hope that Sister makes it. I think the work is hard and she feels like she has other gifts that could be utilized. I have seen her talking to others about this while on the phone. And, she’s partially admitted to me. But, I’m thinking at this point, she is realizing that someone is actively trying to train her … and certainly at 65 years of age … there’s some resistance, because you want to think of yourself as capably knowing it all. I don’t blame her, but she is at the same time admitting it is new. I just have to remember myself to compliment her on things that are going well.
In the meantime as I may have alluded to previously … one can’t throw stones if living in a glass house. I came back enthused enough to be working on my own planning book. I took it up to next Monday. I really expect that Sue is going to be coming back … if not I think we’re going to hear about it soon. Both Sr. and us are on the defensive. Hmm, that’s one other thing we did yesterday.
We were asked to watch group III while the staff was going to be gone an hour.
Usually, I guess they just leave the door open and the other staff peers in, but the other staff was out on an outing. When I first walked into the room I noticed that everyone was pretty much doing their own thing. Maria the staff tried to explain that they were each working on their goals. I thought Lordy … I’m going to have to figure out 9-10 goals? So, I started asking questions as to what each were doing.
The staff hadn’t really thought she’d have to explain it to anyone … So then I thought I’d make it easy – just show me the goal book and I would figure it out.
But THEN, she showed me that the other Q’s clients didn’t have anything in the goal book and that she’d taken them all out and said she was working on them. So, then we sighed HEAVILY … and thought … ok, we’ll just have to wing it, but the staff really needed to leave, because her hovering wasn’t helping – due to her not giving much information. She did set up specific clients to be on the computers. We asked her to pinpoint the computers that were working. Then we went around one at a time to make sure everyone was doing something.
The one client couldn’t read the letters to type because she didn’t have her glasses. So we took over the staff position of reading to her the letters. Another client, she’d set up on typing from the typing tutor program, but it was easy to see she didn’t know what she was doing, because she was just hitting keys. So, we tested her too to see if she could recognize letters, but we found she couldn’t. So then we found another program where she was asked hand over hand to trace the letters and then match the letter on the screen with the same capital letter on the keyboard. We did this a few times and was very satisfied with it as a training tool. We went to another client … and found she was also typing gibblety-gook. So, we walked her through some direct typing per dictation. We discovered she couldn’t do certain letters, such as e, c, and t. So, we made our notes here too and we figure that should be addressed separately, and soon.
After people finished their work with me … and some of the others were just loosely looking at magazines, I pulled together 2/3rds of the group to listen and talk about a story of “Little Bear” that I’d brought in. That was a favorite of mine from our youth and I’d had some copies in my office. Later when the staff got back she said they were reading from Winnie-the-Pooh which was a book I’d brought in for another client. I thought that was great! More reading and interest in it was good.
The one other thing I wanted to note, was that Holly came in and started interfering with my plans. She went directly to a client I’d already set up to work independently and she started to “take over.” We asked her if she was coming in to stay. She said no, and then we told her that we had the clients and that she didn’t need to help. She got real huffy about that stating on her way out that most people would appreciate the extra help. We let her know that getting the goals where they belong would help the most. She was pretty cranky as she hit the door. But, it was like don’t come in here doing MY job, when yours is so blatantly behind.
ACK! But, now I got to get going. I’ll be back soon.
posted by Ann Marie @ 7/24/2008 06:56:00 AM
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