Mostly good ... a little not so good, but headed for the gym anyway. GOOD!
Good morning. It’s just mi. Its 9 am right now … we’ve been up for a while. We read our email and eventually got around to taking a shower and getting our medicines. We’ve also ate and half-way dressed. We just turned on John Denver and we’ve been watching ourselves going through yesterday morning. I was typing in that video too. So, now we’re like getting twice as much typed out as before! Good thinking. I didn’t know how reassuring the sound of my computer keypad could be. Whoops the other me is setting the timer. I better do that too. We’re on the top of the hour. I think this is so funny. Missy is complaining, but I have pet her so I’m hoping she will go lay down. Too much activity going on here.Ok, ok … back again … me and the kitty …Good she left … didn’t like that I was drinking coffee at her station. We just got done with some pretty cool-o, cool-o stuff. We’ve been video taping for the last hour and we were just going on an on, but we remembered to call my son’s loan company and it took them awhile, but she saw the document that I had sent and we waited a few few moments, but then she said we were approved for a loan. We were so excited we didn’t want to say anything else. So, even though it was early, we called our son and told him. He was so happy I think he could barely speak. He said, I guess it is a good thing that he got out of bed. Oh man, oh man am I happy.
While we were waiting or maybe in the moments after we thought hmm, if we get this loan what does that mean financially anyway?? That part still seems a little worry on me. I guess I’d started the whole process thinking that my son was going to pay for it for sure, but then as time went on … we began thinking hmm, wouldn’t it be a nice thing if I could pay for the loan for him? It is after all a parent’s loan. I’m not sure. I read a little information about the loan … it is set at 8.5% interest, and I think they would be able to accommodate that I have other student loans to pay. I think those loans are like 3-4%. I don’t know how all that goes. I stopped over at school for a few seconds and didn’t see anything real new over there … I saw that my GPA had officially gone down to a 2.71, which is below the 3.0 I need to continue Loans proper, so I don’t know what is going to happen.
When I called my friend back to say that a 3 pm picnic would be fine, we hinted that we are going to have to talk about money with him pretty soon. We need a time where I can talk about stuff without crying. We’re up higher than that right now, but might be having to face some pretty serious thinking. But, we’re going to try not being frightened, because we are on a fitness plan where we are going to be stronger physically, mentally, might as well include financially, and spiritually. Yes, that might be a good idea. But, to keep it simple, we will continue to think about it as a “fitness” goal. We gotta do certain things to keep up with our selves, which is going to mean that we are going to need putting in some hours after we return into the work projects; specially, we need to get the goals set for tomorrow’s annual. And, then, I think we have 3 meetings the following week. I can’t remember now if we did what we were supposed to and called the new client’s parent .. Hmm, I think we called the house, but talked to someone other than the mother so we were going to confirm that again. Yes, that was right. It will be a busy week.
To maintain all that we got going on over there we are going to need making sure we go to bed by 8 or 8:30. Maybe shoot for 8 and give ourselves the allowance of that last half hour. And we need to be in the shower by 5 am and on the way to the gym by 5:30 am. Yes, yes, that is the master plan. We’ll be done then with our workout by 6:45 and ready to walk into the center at 7 am. That’s a good extra half hour. And, then we’ll work until let’s say no later than 6 pm. That puts us home by 6:30 … we can eat, go to a multiple meeting if available and then back to beginning of the cycle going to bed on time. Ok, ok … that sounds good. Feeling better about the general plan.
Oh oh … did we tell you … I think we said it on the video, but not here that we weighed in this morning at 296.8!!! WOOOOHOOOOOO! Solid! I think I like this fitness idea a lot … It has to be our battle cry. So, if any of our internal parts is going to veer off it has to be in the name of fitness. BUT, let’s really all try to keep to the general schedule, k???
Ok… ok … we were on video again, but V had signed on … we had to say goodbye again because we’d gotten very frustrated again and didn’t want to stay there. I know V’s got other things to do when he signs on and we seemed to be doing it ok before where he would just drift off and start doing something else, but we’re having more trouble with it now. We’ll say a line or two and then he won’t come back. He doesn’t return the volley and in fact he’s walked over to play on another court. We can be in a very good mood like we were before this and then we’re waiting and waiting, and our mood plummets. It means that we need to go back to concentrating on stabilizing our mood, and we will do that like we’re trying to do now. But, even thought we’d told V. that we were about to walk out again, he ignored that message. I think that his blood sugar is an important thing, but what is the problem with saying … he give me a sec … going to go over and do this. Same when he starts talking to other people, or picking up the newspaper, whatever?? Feeling pretty put-off … last time we brought it up more directly, he just said something dehumanizing in that the comment I had just made wasn’t worthy of comment anyway. I wouldn’t defend that it was, but it appeared where I had been jesting … he had took it in some aspect of being low in value, so had accordingly tuned-in to something else. This could have maybe been communicated differently? I don't know it seems pretty passive-aggressive ... Don't like it.
Now, we’re wondering in that we’re typing this all out … our thoughts after having interacted with him again. We now there is some chance that he will read this post, though he isn’t attending to all the posts like he had once done. So, what does this mean? I don’t know … I could question my public broadcasting, but in reality since only he and or Deb potentially will read it, maybe it isn’t such a public announcement. I don’t know it seems like the same kind of thing as with Dr. M. the other night where we hid for most of the session. In general, we seem to be getting better, but there are other things happening that are recognize our insecurities. It seems like maybe that because we are putting two feet forward toward fitness, we’re extending our trust barriers. Maybe this is where things get overwhelming. I don’t know … Just know that we’re trying to be stronger in our selve, but it seems to be at odds with how we feel toward our normal supportive relationships … Basically, our friend, V, and Dr. M.
I’m not so sure. I do know that the timer rang 4 minutes ago and it is time to get to the gym, so that’s what we’re going to do next. Need to keep going. So, with that … check back in later … we’re not going anywhere too far.
posted by Ann Marie @ 10/09/2006 10:57:00 AM
Comments: 2
