Ayn's Multiple World

We're still catching up here.

Good morning this is me. We’re in a strange situation in that we’re at the parking lot of K-mart sitting in the car. Sr. decided that she needed a driver and she doesn’t often ask me, but this time she had too. Margarita, Imelda, Rosa, and Holly were all out and Maria and Cathy had big groups because Theresa was out. I was absolutely the last one on the list. She needed to get stuff for one of our clients’s going away gifts tomorrow and she needed to go to the bank for payroll and she needed to go somewhere else too hmm, maybe for some food for tomorrow.

Having the computer makes it real easy to go with her. She brought an extra client for company and she’s letting me sit in the car because she seems to remember I have a hard time walking around the store. I have troubles with being on my feet long distances and shopping. It’s something you know I rarely do.

I got a nice spot toward the front so I can look after her and it’s a nice rain coming down. I feel drifty anyway, but then that would be the norm.

There’s a lot to say after having gone through the weekend and I’m very glad to have had it. I did talk to Rich for a second last night, but he had to cut me off after just saying hello. His daughter could be heard in the background. She was frustrated with him that he didn’t take the call. I just thought he’d like to know that I was safe at home again.

He wrote me a note online and called for a moment this morning to say hi and to get past the guilty feelings she’d put on him. I was rooting on her side as she was rooting for me. I think.

One way or another – there was not much time or space for a conversation. He was going to be going to the airport about a half an hour after he’d talked to me. I don’t think I was really in the mood to talk to him either because there wasn’t enough time to get in to the good stuff. I’ll want to hear all he can say about being gone and we’ll want to tell him all about CS, but he won’t want to listen or talk. He’ll want to go back to non-thinking. *Sigh* Men – what can you do with them?

Ok, we’re moving along … we stopped at the bank and then to the grocery store right around the corner. We’re in a process of waiting again.

Sister was surprised when she’d talked to me earlier. She was ready to think the worst and that I’d stayed in all weekend. But, I was happy to say that I’d been to my sisters. That was a good thing. She asked a few questions, but pretty much just went into her thoughts on being with her brother and his family on Sunday and up at the nursing home at St. Joseph’s on Saturday. I’m glad she got then to get out too but she said she didn’t get much done.

Sr. said something about CARF, but we pretty much let that slide. We know that we should g back and do something major on it today. I’d like to give her something soon, it would make her feel a lot better. I think I’m going to need answering the questions in the book in a simplified manner, because what I’m doing is going to be good, but just too slow. As soon as I can get a grip on that reality things will be better. We should set a day to have the survey book completed. I’d like to do it without all the projects and reports we’re going to come up with in the meantime, but I don’t think we’ll be able to be that ready. Maybe I should make it a goal though to be done with at least the leadership section by Wednesday. I’m not sure why that date … maybe a backup date on Friday would be better. If I could do a section a week, I would be able to have in about 3 months most the survey work done, with the exception of particular reports. It would mean I have to stop getting stopped on hard parts and sail on my way through. Sr. would be ecstatic to have that kind of productivity. It would allow me some breathing space to get other parts that I consider valuable done. Maybe I’ll look into this soon. TODAY???!!! Ok, yes, that would be soon.

I have to try hard not to focus on the Pirate stuff when I get back. Maybe what I can do is NOT do it and then just stop by and periodically save money so I’m not vandalized! That would be enough so that I was a little in to it, but mostly out, right? I didn’t do so good with the Facebook and farm. I took care of that just before I left. I have to remember that we’re adults with adult responsibilities. That’s a really hard thing for us to do.

Hmm, some idiot just parked too close to my car and he’s parked in a non-parking spot between two disability signs … what a jerk. Some young kid got out of the car. Just frustrates me because it feels like a violation of space. Ok, it will be ok, right?

Wouldn’t Rich be so happy if there was real work done by the time he got home? I think he’s getting home in a couple of hours. It’s about 10:30 am now. He’s going to have Bob or get a cab to pick him up. I would like it to be me, but I think he doesn’t want to take me out of work again. He’s so cool.

I am going to want to write a little bit about being at my sisters. Maybe I can do that before lunch and then save the rest of the time for real work. Not that driving sister isn’t SOME form of real work – I kinda like it. No pressure. Hmm, we have to remember to stop for our mail back at work too. I saw there was a couple of packages so I’m thinking they are Thom’s books and that we’ll have to send them in at a separate order. I wonder if we’re going to have stuff that needs to go in the trunk. I find myself looking often for Sr. to come through the door even if it’s just right in front. I’ve got a clear view from here.

Good that other guy is there and is now pulling away. If he doesn’t hit me. Shoot … sr. and her partner came to the car and I got out and helped put the few groceries she had in the back, and they both got in the car and then the client remembered the coffee that sister had told her to remember that was on the top of her priority list. So Off they went again. Hehehe
This is kinda nice. I could sit out here typing for a long time. We’re only a couple of blocks away from work, but it’s too far to walk especially with groceries and in the rain. Hmm, another idiot parked in the space between the handicap parking on the other side – without having a pass. It makes it hard for the handicapped because that space was to give them extra clearance, and now they not only don’t have that, they don’t have ANY space! That’s why those other guys are jerks! This time though they are on the opposite side of the aisle.

*Sigh*

Yeah like hazard blinkers make the situation better.

Ok, where were we … hmm, thinking my sisters. There wasn’t enough information coming in from Rich’s camp to go there.

Let me start then. One of the first impressions of being at my sisters is that she and Mark seemed to have a lot to talk about. I asked them and she said they talk a lot between them anyway. It seems they are one of those couples where they each know a lot about each other’s lives. Ok, we’re back. I’m on a flat surface again. Sr. was appreciative of me taking her out.

That was nice. She hadn’t remembered driving with me before, but she did remember I don’t like to shop. No problem staying out in the car though WoOHOO!!

Ok, better get through this next part. My sister and Mark as we were saying had a lot to talk about. There wasn’t much time that we were together and not talking in some combination either me and her or me and him or me and them, or even me and Nate. I was in talking paradise!

There was a little discomfort at one time in that for some reason we’d gotten riled up and I remember saying something about them not having checked into what was going on with us and that during that time we’d been raped by a brother and had to go through shock treatment. I think that was pretty shocking for them, because there was no lead up into it. I don’t know which parts were involved or if we’d ever told either of them something like that before.

I know we’ve tried to stay away from the past, but my guess is that she’d painted to idealic of a picture or something happened in that we must have felt really taken for granted as if we weren’t trying to survive all those years. I don’t think they said anything to make us believe she was uncaring although I think there was some pressure built up in that it was a lot of time spent talking of them and their lives with very few questions if any of what had happened or was happening to us.

I tried to be what I imagined would be a good big sister, but I think someone got a little frustrated and said something like – you don’t even know or asked about us and things were happening, like did you know ….?

I think the official response was no we didn’t know. I think one of our parts tried to explain for one the sense of having walked down to the basement on Nathan’s request when he wanted to show us a little about his younger life including people, cars, school and such that we’d missed.

We told him that it had been a misunderstanding 6 years ago when my father had died, because the strange behaviors of my brother were thought to be the strange behaviors of my sister too.

I’d since found out that my brother had treated her as badly as he’d treated me. I felt bad that my sister had to go through that on her own not knowing why I was keeping my distance.

Certainly Nathan did not understand.

My sister explained how hard it’s been on him not to have family. He seems to be getting a lot of that with his fiancé. He’s living in her home with her 3 sisters and parents. One of the girls is developmentally disabled and just loves Nathan. My boys have always wanted to be closer to Nathan, but with my keeping separate from the family there were really not many alternatives.

I’d be more than happy if Nathan was able to maintain contact now with his cousins.

I would like to spend more time with Mark and CS too. Mark suggested maybe not this next weekend, but the next. I told him that was really considerate, but that we’d all have to worry over money concerns and then I said something about eating out and all and that it would get expensive, but then we said after just a little bit maybe we could work on a goal of once every month or two.

I’m not sure how that would work out with them, but it would be a little more practical. We’d have to work it in a way that HOPEFULLY, Rich would be able to be a part of the meetings too, which might mean that on some weekends we’d go and he and Mark or Nathan would go fishing while CS and us chatted.

I don’t want to put the cart before the horses, but there’s the part about comfort in staying at someone’s house. I felt very comfortable being there and I had absolutely no problem with the couch, but I don’t know if Rich would feel the same. I like the part of being available at any time of the day or night and that’s the part I would really want to shoot for.

We would need though as a couple most likely to mooch off some space in most likely what has been Nathan’s bedroom. I don’t want to take away his childhood room, and I don’t think that CS necessarily wants to take it down. But there’s a full bed down there that would give Rich and us some privacy and the only thing would be that it would need to be cleaned up. There are boxes and piles of stuff over everything.

We’d also have to talk a little bit of whether it would be more a guest room for us or anyone else or even Nathan, or if it would stay Nathan’s room. I’m thinking pretty much here on some dresser space and being able to hang clothes and in particular not having the sexy women hanging on the walls hehehehe.

Maybe there’s need to be a little compromise there! There’s no doubt though that even if the room was to be used for Nathan and his wife periodically if they were to stay over that she’s probably not any MORE comfortable with the near naked women than Rich or I would be.

As to the other pictures of Nate growing up and his trucks and such … those might be finer – there is good reason to make it a Nathan themed room!

I’d want to be setting up something though to make it very comfortable and inexpensive for Rich and us to be going up. Mark talked about some of the fishing lakes. I don’t know about his and Nathan’s schedule in as far as them getting days off from work to fish. I think they work on odd days, but that especially with Mark things can be arranged so that he could spend some guy to guy time. I think that him being in relationship to Rich would be one of the most ideal relationships he could have.

He’s lost some trust with friends over the years and while Rich has had some good friends and family, he hasn’t had those bonds yet with mine … at least not in depth – so that we could have a couples’ relationship with me too. I’m encouraged by Rich and us going out with Bob and his girl, but it’s still not the same as being with family.

I feel very much like with CS family that I have a vested interest in wanting them to be in a good space. I think there is a little immediate worry in that Mark and CS talked about not being able to keep the house. They are trying to refinance it now so that it’s more affordable. I think it’s like about $2500 per month.

This is like a gigantic concern. Mark was laid off teaching and he had another job doing janitorial work at the church, but I don’t think he’s going to be able to make it without getting a more regular job that’s fitting for someone who holds a teaching science masters. I think that Mark is having a good time with the cleaning and maintenance and that he’s done that all along for extra money and somehow it sooths a little compulsive cleaning which is healthy for him. BUT, he knows that he’s putting hardship on the family by not bringing in more income.

I’m really hoping for them that they can refinance. They have an income from CS disability of about $17-1800 and that helps, but it’s too tight for comfort.

I thought it was interesting at one point in that CS thought out loud maybe in a little desperation that Rich and us could come and live there with them. I know in her mind’s eye she’s trying to come up with an ideal way to save her house. I would do the same exact thing if I were in there situation.

I didn’t respond to her at all then because the idea of Rich and us being able to survive in West Bend. But, we’ve been building up in our head what it would be like to run another idea that I’ve been fantasizing for the last couple of hours.

Basically, what would happen if we could make a living space in the basement – there’s only one room finished now and if Rich and us could consider it like our vacation space and in so doing pay Mark and CS a little income like $500 per month.

In so many ways it’s really an ideal situation all around, but Rich would be the sticking point. He would feel uncomfortable in someone else’s house maybe and he would feel that $500 a month is a lot of money. Which it would be, but I’d want to be paying enough so that CS and Mark would be able to get something in order to keep the place.

Nathan and Mark are looking at it as if it’s too big a place for them. And, in some ways they are right. I do think that the upstairs is being well used. I’ll do some pictures later, but basically, it’s a nice large living room and a nook between the kitchen and the living room for a table and chairs. Then on the first floor there are 3 bedrooms and 2 baths. The biggest bedroom is CS bedroom. She’s got it situated really nice so that it doesn’t feel overly cramped. It’s nice apportioned.

Then the second bedroom – the one off the front of the house with the large arched window is the room she’s using for her sewing room. It’s called something nicer, but I don’t remember, but it’s a really, really nice room. I couldn’t have imagined something better for her. Hmm, I can get a picture of that now … hold on.

See this is the room … isn’t it about the coolest thing!?? This is my sister. Isn’t she cute! She’s doing just soooo well with the weight and all.

Ok, anyway … this is the 2nd sized room and then there’s a bedroom for Uncle Marky. It’s also in the front of the house, but it’s the smallest and darkest. The Master bedroom has a walkout deck and there’s a deck off the kitchen nook.

There’s a regular bathroom in between the three bedrooms and then there is a private master bedroom off CS’s space. I felt very comfortable sharing the washroom with CS, but if Rich and us were there … we’d make another bathroom in the basement. See this would be the thing.

It’s a very large and open basement. There’s too much stuff down there now, but I’m thinking that they’d be willing to work with that.

The big deal would be to convert the downstairs area into something very nice. We could work through on getting the materials paid for, and the building would be done by Nathan, his dad and Nate’s friends. I got that idea in that Nathan told his dad that he and his friends were going to build a connector between the two decks and then stairs down one of them and that it cost about $100 for material and the labor would be for free.

If it didn’t cost too much to build especially due to available labor then it would make it possible to turn a condo type unit out of the basement that would become our getaway place. It would help CS with the mortgage – improve the value of the house, get me and them all a way for us to visit, and it would get Rich a place to stay and fish over the summer.

I’m thinking that CS would keep all her upstairs rooms as they were – with the exception Mark’s bathroom would be clean enough for Rich to use it too. There kitchen is beautiful to cook in and the openness of all is just wonderful for entertaining. Again the living room, kitchen and kitchen nook is all open.

Space would be saved so that they could store SOME stuff, but there’s a big pile of stuff that’s Nathan’s and his fiancée. That will go soon after the wedding. I heard CS and Mark talk about getting the place under control in that CS hadn’t been down there since about June or July. Now her weight is making it more possible. She could do the little light stuff that was necessary like opening it up before we came and throwing the bed linen in the washer and dryer. That make it real easy for us to come in and out.

I think then as to what we’d do with the space downstairs … hmm. I’m thinking pretty simple, but something for sure. Like we would probably keep the bedroom where it’s at, but we’d have a little kitchenette, mostly a living room with a fire place and we’d have to have to have a Jacuzzi! Oh yeah and a washroom. I think the Jacuzzi would be in the open living room fairly close to the fireplace. Let’s see is that possible?

Ok, might be getting myself in trouble here, but we’re on line – or at least in text with CS. She wrote to say that she’d sent off Thom’s packages which is GREAT! I told her we were working, but trying to figure out how to make a fishing condo out of her basement. On the second note we sent out, I included a little more of our thoughts. She first thought Nathan’s bedroom, but we told her bath, LR, Kitchenette, Fireplace and Jacuzzi. J

She’s the first one to sell and the easiest. AHA! She said that she and Mark had already talked about it. That’s funny!

Ok, just gotta sell Rich … he’s like not wanting to do ANYTHING fast. We will have to have Uncle Marky send him something showing him the lakes! I think we would have absolutely ground zero problem with selling the idea to Mark and CS. THEY would be enthralled! Well I would hope so. I just sent her another message after we went to the bathroom. Let’s see how she responds, and then I’m going to need slowing down.

BUT, it’s such a grand idea and works on so many levels.

I think we’d have to get some pretty cozy couches too in that we’d want someplace to bring the kids up. I don’t know if we could squeak out another bedroom. It really come down on the living room space. I think the way would be to get a couple sofa sleepers. We’d have to have room for Maury and the girls, Joe and Cari too, basically, we’d set it up so that the boys could go up on their own time, or we’d have to squeeze everyone together – or get hotel rooms for big family weekends! Oh man this would be so cool.

Maury talks about not going to the Michigan place because he has to go there with others. And those other Garvey people aren’t inviting them. I know there’s no private lake next to the place to go swimming, but I’m sure there’s places around. He would love to be able to take the girls up I think and Mark is really talking about seeing him and his brothers more, but especially Maury.

It would be such a great place and I know that CS would LOVE to be meeting her grandnieces.

Holy Cow is this a good idea. How would we ever sell it to Rich? If we could afford like to build and to pay $500 rent – maybe $400 would be enough if we paid for the materials. We’d just have to make it economical to be advantageous to all.

I had such good strong feelings about being with the Tscharners. I don’t know how to get Rich comfortable with the idea other than letting him meet them and trying it out for himself. It would be so phenomenal. I would for sure take a lot of pressure off of him to be buying a house, if I had a weekend getaway.

We wouldn’t take the kitties with us, but they’ve always been fine on their own.

I think that if we did material cost and they did labor, then it might be economical enough. They could still go out fishing a couple hours away from the place, but there’d be a home grounds.

Rich wants like anything to be fishing. I know that he wants also to pre-fish lakes he’s going to go to with the guys. And sometimes he’s going to need officiating. But, he’s going to feel real good if he can get out and use his boat so he won’t feel the cost is for nothing.

It wouldn’t be a bad deal too in that Nathan can learn to help Rich with the upkeep especially of the motors. It sure get me going. I’d have to get back on track with the gym though. It be pretty cool. CS gave me the kitchen table while I was there. She’s used to being up by the kitchen in back of the island. She likes to sit from there on her stools. They had a laptop computer at the table and that’s where I set up mine.

I felt comfortable turning toward them in the kitchen or when they weren’t there – we stayed back when they went to church – we could face the open living room and CNN. I think that most the time we were there we’d be upstairs, but then if we had the place with Rich and me, we’d retire down to our lodge at night and that would be a really cool, cool thing.

I’m not sure how I like the idea of being in the basement, but it would be done over with walls and ceilings, so I’m imagining it to be good. I could be getting up early in the morning to be doing coffee at our little table and the fireplace and that would be so romantic. Then we could mozy on up later after being showered and such giving CS and Mark privacy. We could do meals together or separate.

I think we’d be around enough to give them good family company, but then again there’d be the majority of the time we wouldn’t be with them. BUT, I would think that even on those weekends when Rich was gone on his fishing trip we could go up on our own. I think it be cool to go up with the kids too, but I’m thinking with their busy schedules, they don’t always have the real time to be doing stuff for whole weekends. There’s something to be said though in that 2 ½ hours is just the right amount of time.

I’m thinking now of my Uncle Wes and all the times we spent together up at their place.

Basically, there was good and bad with that. I think that Rich would love more to have someplace directly on the lake, but he couldn’t do what we can do with CS at nearly the cost.

Mark and Nathan knows the lakes, and Rich would get to know them better and he’s used to pulling the boat in and out of the lake every day he fishes. That’s what he does with the guys.

I’m liking too the thought that I can go fishing with him and then visit with our sister afterward.

That’s a pretty cool deal. I’m not sure the precedent that would be set with how often I would go up there. I’d have to think through what we’d be missing as to not having a place on a lake – but then that’s so far out of our budget it’s not even funny. CS has a back yard with a fence and the decks and the decks look over the yards in a very suburban neighborhood.

I like the idea of getting full value of having dogs around without having to do much with them in-between times. She has a nice swinging chair on the deck and maybe a table? I’m not sure.

Mark has what looks like a really nice grill though and I know between Rich and Mark there’d be a lot more dinners in. It’s nice to think that we wouldn’t have to afford all the kitchen things right away, though we’d want to have something for cooking lightly in case we would want some separation. I’m thinking though of the space that we had up on Michigan. We really did like looking out on the water, but the living room, kitchenette and table – along with bedroom seemed to be a good enough arrangement.

I think that both Rich and us could do without a lot of stuff, though it seems everywhere we’ve gone to be on vacation the biggest priority for us was the fireplace and Jacuzzi.

We’d have to make sure that there was enough opening to get Rich out. He would get to feeling tied down if he were to spend all the time in, especially if he were down in the basement. BUT, we could design that situation so that it’s primarily lodging for nighttime and it’s a very good space to be!

It would still be better if there had been enough room for a second bedroom. But, I don’t know how to do that AND get the other things. It would be nice though for the boys and if he were to bring a friend like Bob. Or, if one day he were to bring one of his kids – just saying you’d have to look at options.

Thinking back to the old days at Shell Lake – I know that my parents and my uncles family got a lot of the time we were able to spend together. It was our major sense of family. I had a lot of problems with my uncle because he was very crass and together with my father they could be pretty obnoxious. I also did not like my mother and often my cousin would go off to being by herself with other lake friends. I spent a lot of time when not snowmobiling just reading and or swimming. I’m sure there are places to swim, and having a Jacuzzi would be more than just a dream.

Most often as long as I had a place to read or write – and especially in front of a romantic fireplace, then that would be my dream. I don’t know how Rich would feel though as to not getting away to be sitting out by the lake. But, I think he’s pretty much in when fishing – at least at night. We’d obviously have to have a good television down there too.

I think it was a good thing for both families back then to have a place to go in the summer or winter. I know that people want to get to know one another again and have family. I am most worried about Rich. I think he has a lot of privacy needs. Even us, there were times, I felt a need to spend some alone time.

Question goes back to could I feel ok – have a nice space and still be in the basement? I don’t’ remember if the windows were at a walk in level. I know the space was cooler so it would need to be checked in the winter especially though might be good in the summer. Thinking a sauna would be nice too, but better a second bedroom.

I think we got it past my sister. We roughed it in. She had started talking about what her and Mark was going to do, but we suggested, materials and plans on Rich and us and labor on them, and that we pay like $400 a month. BUT, it would be ours. She agreed it would be fine with her, but we’d need to get it past the guys. I agreed. I think it would be harder for Rich than Mark, and Rich would have to be the one putting money out, so there’s going to be the main problem.

Did you like how in our mind we’d done this whole thing? Hehehe … we haven’t even talked about my sister’s weekend with Rich and we’ve got him building in a place at her house. We don’t even know if Markies going to be able to keep his place, though this would surely be a plan in that direction. It seems like an economical things to do.

CS responded back with a statement also about adding value to the house. I knew that part from the start. She’d have to understand though that as to planning, designing and decorating – would come down to Rich and my decisions. I wouldn’t want to be limited by someone else’s thoughts or to suggest I might want her to decorate “MY space” with moose. It’s great for her space, I really liked it there, but it would have to be OUR place.

She was also dealing with the part about the place not being for Nathan. She still has imaginations of Nathan coming home and him and his wife living downstairs. Mark and Nathan understand probably better than CS why that wouldn’t work out. It’s the same logic as I’m being given by the boys. Basically, kids don’t want to, nor should they necessarily move in with their parents – especially when first married.

I’m not sure if even brothers and sisters and in-laws should move in together, but there is a time in life where you want to be more related to your family. It seems at this point there is some economical relating too that’s going on that makes things be considered. I’m looking at this thing of having a home with Rich would be better put aside if we could have a WI place.

He’d get the advantage of having somewhere to go with a fixed cost, plus he wouldn’t be paying so much out he couldn’t go anywhere else he’d like to travel. I know he wants to get around.

We’re doing a lot of texting with CS now. I didn’t think it would take her too much to get excited by the idea. We’ve got to calm it down a bit, because Rich could put a cold blanket on it very fast. Or for that matter so could mark, but I’m thinking more on mark’s level he’d do about anything for us including the shirt off his back. I think this would be a good thing for him though. He’s going to love Rich. Rich would be real nice to my sister too.

Ok, God … give us a sign. Is this something that could work out? AND is it going to be affordable? The one thing that is nice is that we could do it in stages as money became available – if we were to do it. In the meantime … all it would take is some cleaning out of the one downstairs bedroom, AND then there would be at least a place to stay until things worked through. It be an interesting idea if Mark could do the work himself, but he doesn’t have experience with this kind of thing. He’d need someone to be working with him who would know what to do.

That would help him though as to working on his own space in the extra time he had available. I think it would be something he would like to do. I saw the enthusiasm with him looking at doing something with Nathan. I guess they did a regular high school thing too where Nathan didn’t always want to be around him during that stage. Now it seems they like to have more time together, but still Mark is never going to get back the little buddy that was during his elementary school years.

That just goes to saying though how nice it would be for Mark to have Rich. I know they would like each other just fine.

I just talked to Rich by the way … none of this was said, but I did talk to him just long enough to find out that he was going to be home about 6 pm. MAN-oh-MAN do I miss that guy! Hehehe and then my thoughts go back to thinking I would want dry wall over that kind of pretend board that’s supposed to look like wood.

Connie Sue said before she trailed off that there is a sliding door that was covered that goes out onto a small patio under where her deck is. She says there are flowers and everything. It had been covered with a sheet to reduce the sun when Mark was down there working. She said it was poured concrete with a west facing exposed wall and that there was a whole wall of windows with screens for warmer weather, but that they had central air.

Hmm, maybe Mark could contract the work and take the place of a contractor pulling together anything that would need to be done. If we could get a place built before Rich lost his work with JVS, then we’d have a place with a small rent for later when there wasn’t an income. The deal would be costly for Rich and time consuming for Mark. He might not be able to get another job until it was done, or he might get another job and be having too much to do.

I guess worse case scenario would be that CS become the general contractor, or at least the person who was around and making sure the job got completed just right. She has more time available, though she certainly needs her naps. It would be loud at first trying to get everything done.

I feel a little bad about the starting price I’m figuring for rent, especially if Rich is going to take on the cost of materials and possibly an early rent and maybe some labor. It doesn’t seem like a lot of money for the place that we would have, but then we wouldn’t get to keep the place. We would have invested it in their house. We’d have to make some kind of arrangement maybe though that before they sold their house we would need to be paid back for our investment into it. Something to say they couldn’t just up and move, make a profit on our money and leave us high and dry with nothing.

There’s the other sides in that they still have a $2500 mortgage … so would $400 be fair, but if it were more than $400 could we afford to live in it. I guess one way to look at it is that we’d have half their property in a sense first floor is most likely about as same side as basement, but then they are living in the house average of 30 days a month, we might be living in it only 4-5 days a month – possibly more if I were to go up when Rich is fishing.

I think there are other considerations too – like I would not mind if someone else was in there when we weren’t – that would include Nathan, any of their other friends or family, or of course my boys and their families. I’m thinking more and more like there might be room for another bedroom or so. If it were as big as the upstairs – then the bedroom would be under the kitchen, and on the other side of the stairs would be the space of a living room, two baths and three bedrooms. I know some of space for utilities, but if it were the same size, it would actually be pretty big.

It really makes a big deal to consider the western exposure being doors and windows. Maybe you could build two bedrooms in the back, plus bath, kitchenette, Jacuzzi and living room. That way you could have a space for kids if they were in. I’m not sure what kind of attractions are in and around West Bend, which would be inviting to them.

I don’t know … we got side tracked and am starting fresh again here. I don’t think though that we found too much of anything. There are parks and such around and maybe small museums or other sights. It have to be really scouted out. I was encouraged by CS though in that she thought out loud that we take walks and go places. I know that neither of us have a lot of friendships, though she’s go her friendship with Carol whose now moved out of the area. I think they still get together to get their hair done and such.

I’ve got my friends – most the ones that are on Facebook, but these aren’t the people that I can go and visit and such. I don’t really have those kinds of people.

I can’t really explain the situation of having a sister. It’s certainly very different. I’d really have to adjust to it, but I think I could really get to liking it. I’d have to really think about losing out on our ideals of having a large house, especially the one in Oswego. But, the difference there is that the place would cost $2600 minimum and that’s only paying for part of it. And, we’d be located here and not having enough to travel.

The idea of a Wisconsin place is that we’d be in a better situation to travel, like Rich wants, we’d have some little place that’s ours like I want, and financially/socially it help the whole bunch of us. We’d still have to keep our place here in Brookfield for a good while. I think that Mark would like to come over to visit, but I don’t think that CS could do the stairs. We could get the back room cleaned up though and decorate it better so that they could come down and visit here too – and maybe have more opportunities to go out with the boys.

I know that Mark was already suggesting that they could come and visit. I told him about the stairs and that part would have to be discussed. Even if we were to pay $500 a month in consideration for utilities, That would be like $900 and $500 = $1400 which is still a lot of money not tied down but giving us ample places to be.

I really think that Rich based out of West Bend for being out on his boat for day trips is really a good deal. I still have to impress this place isn’t directly on a lake or even in the woods. We miss out on that beauty, but that is ok in that Rich’s idea is to go out on trips. I know he likes the idea of coming back to grill. He does like to get out.

I think I could be ok in the apartment for an extended period of time, but I would have to do something with the bedroom. I would very much like to get rid of the bedroom set, though now if I’m thinking of decorating a room up north, then it might be a consideration – keeping something for the girls. I’d really like the idea of a dresser and desk as is, but now it is unfavorably thought of as Lauren’s and Lauren’s is really on the way out. I would ask Maury if he wanted it though because he’d have to split up the girls stuff so maybe he might use it at his own apartment for them – to go along with a bunk bed.

We’ll see. I just texted him … I think it’s early for this, but good for planning if he has that in mind. I sure would like to put in a real bedroom there just in case CS could make it up those stairs. I much more prefer to spend time at their place though. Ours is good to be visiting Chicago, but it’s definitely an apartment compared to a house.

Yup, yup … I could be appeased a lot to have a place “up north.”

You’d want then two bedrooms next to each other in the back each with two closets and room for a full bed on one room and a set of bunkbeds on the other, plus a dresser in each. Would that work? I think it would. It would keep the bedrooms small, but good enough for privacy and weekend usage. Maybe in the room with the bunk beds there could be a desk too. Actually it be nice to put a dresser desk in both rooms. If the cable were being connected, you could do that too to get Internet or TV. They’d be small rooms though and they wouldn’t have windows.

Now could you do the place without a double bath? I’m not sure of that. It seems you are always going to need a double bathroom – one for guests and the second for master bedroom.

I’m thinking that you could have Maury in one room, the girls in the other, and a sleeper couch for Joe and Cari. If Thom were to be there maybe somebody else wouldn’t be or they’d have to get a hotel. There’s a limit! But, Rich’s kids could come up too there’d be space on separate visits though I’m not so sure I’m ready to think they’d want to know me or my sister and her family.

That might be a Rich consideration.

I’d really like to hold off on any thoughts of a big kitchen area. I really only want a fridge, stove/oven, sink, little dishwasher, microwave and as big a counter as that kinda space would allow. I think most big meals would be up at CS’s, but you’d want something for independence or if they were going to rent it to someone else that they could have a big enough kitchen to do so.

You know part of what I think is here going on in my mind? Well it seemed that protecting CS and Mark’s house is where it started, but its’ way past there now. Some part of me thinks that I’m going into semi-retirement. I like the thought that I could take off on a Friday about 2 pm and go to my place up north about 4:30-5 pm, spend the weekend there and then come back about 4 pm on Sunday. That be then like our 48 hour getaway.

I like that I could visit my sister and Mark and Nathan and his bride, that I could just pack up my computer and go – and often the too drive up with Rich and the boat. I would like to see my time either out on the lake or toodling around – though I’d have to have plenty of time for computer too. Maybe it is something I would do just getting up in the morning before going up stairs.

I think I would be much more appreciative of my apartment if I could then have it just five nights a week and assorted weekends. I really don’t have much beside an occasional visit with the boys where I would want to stay in town.

I’m not sure if going to west bend is enough like getting out of the city in that it’s really a
sprawling suburb, but it only took a little while and we were out on someone’s farm when looking at Nate’s work with Mark’s truck.

I don’t know anyone else I would rather get to know, I mean I would maintain my friendships, but it’s not as if I ever go to someone’s house around here. Rich could keep the cost down though in not getting a bigger place or making that kind of commitment including snow shoveling and lawn maintenance. Mark would have to do that up north, and it would be to our advantage to have that done for us on either end.

As to what could be done from Wisconsin? There’s just like way many lakes to visit. I think that Rich would appreciate being somewhere much closer to a home base where he wouldn’t have to put out EXTRA money, but where he could come in and out of. He’d get some fishy friends, if not me, plus we’d get the company for other times and at night, before we retired to our private suite.

There’s another consideration that would have to be made though. What happens one if we get mad at CS and Mark, or two if they decide they can’t afford the place or would like to relocate?

The first thing would be I suppose if we would have the option to buy, and the next thing would be if we didn’t have the money, well we’ve already covered our expenses – in that it be written into the deal that we get the building expenses back at closing. That would protect our investment, though we’d lose our place.

As to purchasing the building though I think they bought it at like $225,000. If I could earn a living from WI, I think I would consider retiring there. BUT, then would Rich still have to work in Chicago? We could I suppose live separately, or we could maintain both an apartment in Chicago plus the place up north. But, could we afford a mortgage like the $2500 CS and Mark are paying? How would we get around that – Especially if we maintained the $900 in Chicago.

That be $3400 toward retirement. If Rich were to retire entirely we could both live in WI and give up the rent, but then would Rich survive on retirement and possibly doing games up there?

It be better for his fishing life, the house is very nice and would appease my interests in the larger one in Oswego – and it’s much the style I like. It’s got the open kitchen, kitchen nook, and living room all that started my desires in the first place. Our tastes are exactly alike.

Maybe some compromise down the line would be that Mark and Rich each owned half the house. We’d keep the downstairs which we’d build and they’d keep the upstairs 3 rooms and the majority of the living room kitchen though hopefully we share some of that space in our good years.

I like the idea that if anything were to happen with Rich we’d have a place to be. I’d have to consider coming into town every Thursday to see Dr. Marvin – or perhaps every other Thursday. If both Rich and Mark were paying only $1250 then possibly they wouldn’t have to ever move. I think I could live with the downstairs, as long as we could keep our other Chicago place. That give me more options and the feeling of space I need. Having a Jacuzzi and a fireplace though would help a lot, and I’d be good with being able to borrow a dog to pet periodically.

A lot of this could really be planning my retirement. It would mean a definite commitment to CS and Mark. Could I make that – even if it meant moving farther away from the boys?

I think I could. If I weren’t working, I think I could even move away from Rich during the weeks, but that be extremely hard. It’s a better thought that I’d be with him at our southern place or north. Just I might travel up some days in advance, or stay later. 2 ½ hours is really a good distance. It’s enough to feel far away, but close enough to do the trip without too much stress.

I’d have to give some consideration to having to get a job up there. I think pretty much I’m going to retired crazy in that I’d try to build a life where I could afford to live on my disability.

Even if I were to pay for half or more likely 1/3 a house – considering Mark and CS each a 1/3, then we’re talking about $850. My guess though is that I’d take in like CS about $1700-1800, so I might be able to afford that. If the suite had been built ahead of time, then Rich wouldn’t need to worry as much about me if anything were to happen to me.

I’m thinking at this point, I’m going to want to live with Rich forever, but if something were to happen to him, I’m pretty sure my sister would want me more than my sons. It is a reassuring thought at least that that might happen. It seems that as people get older – especially sisters that they tend to support one another more.

I don’t know what either of us would do if something were to happen to my mother, or John more likely, but I’m thinking that he would leave her with enough in cash or house that she would live comfortably in the nursing home up there. I think that’s the way they are setting it up especially with volunteering up there.

I think – wouldn’t I like my own place? And, in this thought I think I’d want my own space, but not necessarily my own place. It’s done a lot of dashing on my sensibilities to think that Rich really won’t ever be able to afford a place like the dream house in Oswego. Between him and Maury this last couple of weeks stating they don’t ever want to drive that far … well it about drives me zonkers.

If it weren’t for Rich I wouldn’t put it past me to try and do this change on my own. I love the house and really enjoyed myself. There were times when I thought there was too much talking and smallness of conversation, but then it would just be up to me to walk away from it when necessary. As long as I could build a little extra space to house my boys if they were to visit, I think I would be satisfied. We would really have to build the space nicely though. I’ve stated many time already my needs.

I need a bedroom a decent bathroom, a small kitchenette, a fireplace, a Jacuzzi, a nice living room and all that can be opened. It’s nice to think of the sliding glass door entry, I’m afraid the back yard would only be the dogs droppings though. I’d have to let loose of that kind of space.

Until push come to shove though I’ll always have my Brookfield balcony.

I know I need a lot of time to myself. But, at this very moment, I think if I could do it, I would leave St. Rose and live up north with Mark and CS. Most likely I would need to work for a while until I could go on disability. More than anything I would like to establish so that Rich and us were doing it together. I’d want to be in a life with him here, and then a retreat life with him up there. But, when he left, we wouldn’t have to worry about the Brookfield place. It would just be a stop rent, and move out toward up north.

I’m most likely always going to be calm enough to be of good company to them up there, plus I’ll most likely always have an income such that combined with there’s it would be enough to live well. Not wealthy, but comfortable.

Ok, well I never really went to work, but I’ve covered a lot of ground with my thoughts. Hmm, maybe too I could yet write for profit. Wouldn’t that be something. They did call from the publisher I talked about last week. I think they have some kind of alternative $1800 deal. We’d have to check that out. Still would like to earn my life by writing. I could do that from just about anywhere.

After giving all these considerations of the day – I did want to say something. The one thing that I really got from my sister and her family this weekend was that when no one else seemed to want or need me – it seemed that they appreciated my being. There is something very comforting about this. I’ve heard Rich planning all along that he would be taking care of his wife and kids. He’s never talked about taking care of me – especially if something were to happen to him.

This is the first time I’ve felt there might be some alternate plan. I didn’t think I could do my life financially or emotionally on my own, I do feel I could contribute to a household. I think in the back of my mind I had thought that one day if something were to happen to Rich that I’d live with Maury. For a short time especially I thought without Lauren around that it be something more hopeful. When Maury broke the news last week that he didn’t want his girls living with me … I felt crushed.

The option of living up north with Mark and CS … holds open the door that somewhere someone thinks I’m not so crazy I won’t damage their life. AND too … they might benefit my being.

posted by Ann Marie @ 4/25/2009 11:58:00 AM Comments: 0