Ayn's Multiple World

Ok, one more down 4 more to go ... Two days, we can do this just gotta work faster.

Good morning. This is me. Today is another home day … I know I take a lot of them don’t I. I’m not sick today … I just have some stuff to finish up, because we’ve got only three days to write 5 papers. We just checked over at school there was one general notice, but no emails personally sent. She talked about locking the room after tomorrow, but I know she gave me until Sunday. Doesn’t mean I can wait until then … need to finish. I would be very happy if I could get done with two papers today, I am going to need focusing though throughout the weekend and over the next two weeks so I can finish my final paper. I am also going to want this morning to finish all my discussions for the last three units before everyone in the room disappears. I used to be at 6% and now I’m down to 4% in the comment area … but, the big deal is to just get them in.

It seems like a lot of folks are finishing up probably about 2/3rds relatively on time. I think we are going to try commenting a little now … let me see how this goes.

9:03 am ok … good one comment down … we were thinking of the Jonestown suicides because of a comment a peer had written on obedience. Now we have to get our mind past there and move on to the next comment. Ok, you … let’s keep moving along.

9:46 hmm. Finished another comment. It was longer, but it was to the student I like the most in the course. He’s actually a teacher and he puts a lot into himself when responding to the questions. Other than myself, I consider him the top student, especially because he’s thinking through the affect of the work he’s reading. I fell into his paper because he had been the last one to enter an assignment and no one had commented to him yet. That’s my optimal goal at this point is to get to others like myself that generally run behind. We’re trying, we’re trying.

Ok, onto the next discussion.

10:27 hmm, that one took OVER a half an hour … need to work on that. But, I do enjoy commenting. It’s pretty cool. Like a Peer review. Ok, think we’re ok here … lets try another. There are three more to go.

10:58 … Good back within about the half hour time consideration. One more comment down, two more to go. Let’s see if we can finish up before noon or about there. We’ve had a snack and should be good to go. Ok, you … let’s get on it!



WooHOOO!!! I think I’m going to be off-schedule. I just found a comment from that person I like so much in the course. I’m so excited to receive a reply I haven’t been able to finish the comment without over-excitement. Deep breath. I think he’s giving me advise and since he’s a real teacher, maybe we can pick something up!
Ok, not too bad … just a couple sentences. I really do like that guy. It’s unusual to find yourself in a class with the same people, but there is always those one or two you’d like to meet again. This is one of those people.

Hmm, going to get back on track … I think we found the next one to comment on … Again we look toward the bottom of the list toward people who haven’t received a response … I like that avenue. Ok, let’s keep moving 11:13

11:37 … ok, that one is done in an impressive 24 minutes I might add. Ok. Let’s go for the gold … last comment completed by 12 – noon! GO for it!

Woo HOOO !!! About did it its now 12:02 … WE’RE FINISHED COMMENTING!!! YAYYYYYYYY
There’s so much cool stuff to learn out there. Sure do feel please to be a part of it. I like to comment just wish there was more time. Ok, ok … that was a major thing to get done … I think we need to take a mental break and then get back to where we are working hard again. I’m thinking here bathroom, a drink of water. What else. I suppose lunch could be a good thing. If we’re going that direction we probably will take an hour. How bout we say that … and try to come back sooner, but certainly no later. Let’s leave ourselves a couple of markers first. What are we going to need doing when we get back. Seems like it might be toward writing some kind of paper? Let’s see.

Woohooo!! Relieved some stress and went to the washroom. Came back and reviewed a few posts. I discovered that we were done with the first paper in week 8 and now we need to finish the second paper of that week and we are now finalizing Week 10. The really nice part? I’d discovered when we looked at OneNote somebody had given us the notes … really nice! Hmm, I thought we were going down in resources … looks like there are five but a couple are real short. Good, good.

We’ve got lunch in the oven and we shut the living room door. It had gotten real cold in here and that is going to make us tired. I think we are going to warm up our hands with a cup of hot coffee and go on from there.

Hmm. Sweetie Pie is still frustrated with us. I called, but he was on another line and said he would call back. I know the tone of his voice. He’s pretty frustrated, which might mean added to the fact sister didn’t comment that our friend took her heat. Between the two of them they try to contain us. Shoot forgot that part I was going to give something to sister over the weekend.

Ok, sweetie pie isn’t too angry. He’s just busy … he won’t have time for us until sometime tomorrow night.




Gotta stay from getting down … I don’t know if it helps, cuz we just turned on XM The Heart. That might be kind of a bummer. I’d like it to be a good thing.

Looking at the clock … it’s 1:06 pm. I sent Sister a note too on the CARF material … this is the right time to get it to her. I told her where to find the material on top of our desk. I hope that will be ok … it was the corporate compliance information and risk analysis. Be good for her to spend more time with it. I don’t know if she would go through the big packet, or if she’s just going to state the insurance part is enough. It’ll have to be up to her. I think CARF thinks more about it than that and they’d wanted companies to put more into it, but then we can only push so much.

That is what we meant when we met with Dr. M. last night … we had talked about our disappointment over a friend, and we talked about the work situation, and we talked about us as a multiple and how we work together. Dr. M. helped us bridge over from the first, he helped us to let go some steam with the second, and got us back into right thinking, and with the third he answered concerns. Sometimes, we are unsure how we can be a multiple … not the actual part, but maybe that too. How can it be that my minds work so differently from “normal” people. We wanted to understand ourselves from the perspective too of our neediness … we felt a sharp loss from Dr. M. not being around last week. We need that one person who can talk to us without having to be managed through their frustrations with us for what we are able to do or not to do. Deb’s on the short good list, because she starts from the perspective I’m going to like you. I don’t remember too often asking her “are you mad at me?”

I don’t get that sense that I really bother her. That’s a very handy thing. I still feel very responsible for when others get angry. At this stage of life, we think often when others get angry we have to first be safe, and then help them through it. If the person just wants to be angry, we have to back away. We can’t do that to ourselves. Just be the one standing in front while the other acts out. Well, we can do it with like our friend and our boss.

Again that was the matter we talked about with our therapist. Our friend and Sister are both in leadership positions similar to the authority parents have over kids.

But, both have short fuses. They both start off with the negative of what can’t be done, but they’ve given me the responsibility for seeing things get done, but then again, as soon as we present something as being done, they get mad because we did it. Because I don’t know how they would do it … I can never do the right thing. It’s a very difficult bind. Usually, they start off with this is probably excellent work (if they thought of reading through it), but we can’t do it and this is why ……….
I kept saying I’m not making this up … this is what CARF is asking. If you think its interpretable in another fashion, then you will have to translate. We don’t have time to discuss each small issue of change because we just need to get the work done. And, since you all don’t want to be involved – just let me do what I got to do!



Ok, enough … don’t want to step into a losing battle again. I’m going to keep working through it. That is what Dr. M. was saying last night … that we’re coping much better with very difficult situations. He had to do some affirming with him that he wasn’t going to go away. Because sometimes we … even some of the older parts … feel a loss when he isn’t here. We’re getting through time day to day, but it becomes very dispiriting. I really love these people, but they refuse to manage their anger. I think it would be different if I were an employee who didn’t care, but I am very conscientious of my work. There shouldn’t be this much difficulty.

We did talk to Dr. M. about the second sister. She seems to be leaving herself in a position where she wants us to get through things and she wants us to be around.

We’ve been getting this. Her trying to influence us up and above our Sr. We’re hearing in our head she wants CARF done by the End of April. Sister Tess, of course, wants it done already, but that’s not happening. The sisters can’t afford for me not to be doing the work. Somewhere they have to know that its work they all should be involved in, but somehow that’s not happening and they are giving it to me with the obstacle of Sr. not wanting to accept anything I do.

We’re going back to our frustration in saying why am I going through this much stress so that somebody can be angry with me. It just doesn’t make sense. But, the other sister went back to that overriding part where she was saying the sister was 79 years old and she wasn’t going anywhere so we’d just have to get through this. They themselves won’t put themselves under her wrath, but they are thinking its ok we do it. I just don’t get that part. Ok, shhhh shhh

We don’t want to be here … we need to get back to school its 1:30 pm now. Oh one more side matter … we told the other sister that we were back in school this semester, because otherwise we would jeopardize our standing and financial balance. She understood, but agreed profusely that we shouldn’t tell Sr. Tess. She had been vowed to secrecy when we told her. I need to be where I am and I’m fighting to stay on top of it all. Just gotta keep writing. This brings us to the next point. We need to respond to this.

u08d2 Instruct

How would you instruct an individual to be more or less conforming, compliant, or obedient? Support your approach with citations from the text and resources you have used.

I’m not going to laugh here … It’s just hit me how well we could apply conforming, compliant, and obedient to us. Maybe then too in comparing ourselves to the Sisters. The second sister is letting us know that she will be the next in command. And, that we just need to fight through this. But, she isn’t going to want to be doing everything we are doing. I think she respects our work. Just Sr. Tess would be furious to think of her or anyone replacing her. They’ve tried to slip her in less deceitfully, but it didn’t happen … sr. rejected her as an assistant. It’s pretty hard on the second sister, because she’s pretty smart and could be some help … since she’s around, but sister wants her own tight ship, even though she knows we could use the help. The other sister has been around CARF … she could have taken a role there, but that’s not happening so we keep going through it … in this situation to maintain our position we need to be obedient to Sr. and we need to be obedient to the sisters above her. Maybe we better take another look now at what the difference is between those three words, so we can apply it properly.

Conformity is “tendency to change perceptions, opinions, or behavior in ways that are consistent with group norms.”

Compliancy is “changes in behavior that is elicited by direct requests.”

Obedience is “behavior change produced by the commands of authority.”

Ok, this is important … we’re reading this next part from the book’s supplementary text. Basically, Conformity is implicit in that it is happening in a subtle manner, compliance is an explicate request … someone is asking for a change, and in the last situation of obedience someone is commanding a change.

Ok, I can work with that. Washroom, more coffee? Ahh switching stuff … Kelsie had finished doing the comments, then Corey dealt with the emotions of losing time with friend, then Ann stepped in to help us with some of the work dynamics, then triggered back into school thoughts.

Ok, ok … In know … why all the pictures? It’s just that we don’t ever know who we are!




Trying to help is all.



See you can’t say I’m the same person as the person in the picture a second ago can you? I’m
Sara where the one a few moments ago was Lissa. The one a couple up before when we’d said “ok enough we don’t want to step into a losing battle” that was Ann … and no she isn’t the one in charge … even if she has the main name ;).

The one before that hoping that Sweetie Pie wouldn’t be too angry was Corey. And, the one before that? Starting us off was Kelsie. Maybe someone can help me figure out why we are making all the changes?? Please? Wooo HOOO Good Marie … she helps with most everything!

Hmm, seems Kelsie was progressing through the work … that seemed to be going ok, but then it got cold and we were scared of Sweeties anger. Either Kelsie couldn't do that or Corey could. Doesn't seem so fair, but I think that's what happened. Seems like Corey used the music to help her balance. Corey was also leaning on Dr. Marvin's presence, could appreciate Deb, and she seemed to think she was responsible for the others’ anger. Seems like Ann stepped in about the time we were figuring out the relationships with Sr. and our friend down at work. She naturally takes more command of that position than Corey could, though it seems Ann's still trying to figure out the dominance of the other two over her and is helping us with determination to get the work done. So is Ann the one worrying about the take-over of the 2nd nun? Yup . Corey took over again … she's the one worried about someone being mad at her. Then Lissa had stepped in to figure out the school work again with conformity, compliancy, and obedience. This seems to be Lissa's paper.

Shoot … we lost time again didn’t we … It’s now 2:30 … I can remember something about starting the next paper at 1 what happened.



As Jamie … I think this is going to give us a headache to think this way … Nothing is wrong with the thinking patterns, but I believe we make too many switches to keep track. We’ve tried that before … We’ll get Ayn’s take on it when she gets back … I know Kate’s position … she’s pushing just that the school work get completed. Why don’t we set some new goals. Let’s say one paper over the next few hours and then we set the goal to get some of the resources for the next paper tomorrow .. That will give us a better chance of finishing two by tomorrow. It was a good deal to have gotten through the comments, but we need some more to be done today. This is real time girls. And, Henry. Sorry to seem so non-plused. Just I’m with Kelsie … a nap would be just too nice. Ok … self-determination. Let’s turn the card over … seems like this is Lissa’s paper and Kelsie has the bye. It’s your play pretty lady.
Put the big letters up!

Paper begins here …

Topic: u08d2 Instruct Date: March 16, 2007 6:03 PM
Subject: In response to assignment from Ann

Author: Garvey, Ann
Last edited on: March 16, 2007 6:49 PM

I would like to use a couple of examples to convey how we might instruct someone to be more or less conforming, compliant or obedient. We’re to the point of knowing that conformity is following implicit group norms, compliancy is following explicit direct requests, and lastly, obedience is following explicit demands, usually by someone in authority.

I have worked for our organization for seven years under the same set of relationships. There are three sets of folks – with us being the fourth dimension.

The first is a group … it is the Sisters Order that is the governance body over our work’s center. The second is the Sister in command, my direct boss. And the third is a friend of mine who acts as a consultant for the center. My position seems to be that I conform to the general direction supplied by the governance board. We call this group, “the big sisters.” We now have an ally with the big sisters, but for the most part the big sisters are implicit. I do what they want, but I am never told directly by them to do anything. Our friend helps us understand them and the sister in command. My friend is my closest ally. I don’t believe either of us dissent from the sisters, although we do in that we talk together and strategize, just the way some of them talk together. Both my direct boss and friend have direct positions of authority over me. I am compliant to their explicit requests - most of the time - but, not all the time. I will always say, “Yes ma’am.” But, I can’t always do what she asks, because there is too much to do.

As to obedient – the only one that has or should command I do something is the sister in control. I am obedient to her unless I call it quits. We’ve come close a few times, but never jumped over that bridge. I’ve known my friend the consultant for 14 years, and so his ability to command has worn down. At least, he cannot command our strong parts; he can command us when we get in trouble, or are beset to younger parts. We will listen to him respectfully if he's not overly demanding or rushed because his business accumen is very good. When he steps out of his authoritative role, we’re just regular friends. There is one exception. We never disagree or overtly argue with him in front of the Sister. With all this in mind, we don’t try to rebel, although we will rebel if things get to be too much, and sometimes that gets pretty serious. This is because we like to be in charge of ourselves. We can be directed, but don’t like to be subservient to others’ opinions. We like to think amongst ourselves.

Brehm, Kassin, and Fein (2005, p. 233) assert that “people conform because they want to be correct in their judgments and they assume that when others agree on something, they must be right.” I believe this statement to be true. The Sisters although wildly independent on their own, conform to their order. Sister wants conformity at the center and if we dissent the sister in charge becomes upset. We seem to be a challenge to her authority. I don’t mean to offset her; I just mean to say there are other ways of doing things. I have responsibility in my position, but not much authority. I should clarify that to say I have little authority over people; I do have authority within myself in both knowledge and experience. I have work to do and to get that done, its best that Sister be right as often as possible.

I don’t like being deviant, because I don’t want the staff to think I have anything but respect for the sister. There are differences that sometimes conflict. Such as, where she is forceful, I try to maintain my openness, but have become very subtle. There are variances of this within us as a multiple. Such as, we have parts that stammer in talking to sister because they are scared of her. We try very hard to control those parts of us. We also have to control the parts that get angry, because she will have none of that. Both of those times, we were written-up. Our friend and doctor hear most of our frustrations. The doctor is always on our side, though he to can become powerful when needed. I find the general rule in life is that either you maintain your own control, or someone else will try to slide in there for you.

External pressure to conform is just one part of our life. We also have internal parts to conform with - just so we can get a long in life. As suggested by our authors, Brehm et al. (2005, p. 234), we try to “identify the situational or personal factors that make us more or less likely to conform,” because we need to understand that sometimes it is ok to conform and at others, we need to fight for some rights, especially when facing alters who feel close to giving up the battle where its "us against them." Them being external people that are to forceful. The system is motivated to keep our job, so we need to figure out how to do the work, be us, and not get fired. In certain situations parts of ourselves are triggered.

For example, earlier in the day our most prolific part was out named Kelsie. She was responding to the comments of our courseroom peers. Unfortunately, we had left the door open to the balcony and we had gotten cold and thus more vulnerable to fear when our friend called asking why we weren’t at work. Whether or not Kelsie couldn’t handle that combination, or just that Corey could, Corey came out and handled the truancy issue. After the call she was able to turn on the music, which calms her. It also triggered her to be thinking of our doctor, her ally in handling things. Because she’d gotten to the part where we were figuring out relationships Ann stepped in. Ann is a part closer to our body’s age although Corey is in her late 20’s. Ann had been working on figuring out the balance of friend and work, but after a couple of minutes another part, Lissa, (another 20’s part) jumped in because she was triggered into figuring out a school problem by something Ann had written. Lissa is much more effective in writing for school where Ann spends more time at work. This had happened within a short time.

Usually, unless the changes are pretty substantial, we don’t notice how much we switch and which parts are coming in and out, but there is another part named Sarah who was playfully taking pictures with the web cam as parts changed. This is what we mean when saying we like or have needs to think through things on our own. When we interface with others on the outside world, we have tendencies to conform to them or their priorities. Internally, we try to hold to group norms, such as we are responsible for school, work, and taking care of ourselves. How this happens is sometimes to the befuddlement of all. Most often “the system” complies with the part that is “out.” The obedience factor is more a part of trying to think on our own without restraint of those from the external world. We are wary of obedience even from within and we like to be more active than reactive.

We don’t have much concept of what goes on internally until someone steps out and takes over, or sometimes in hearing conflicting thoughts. We don’t know if the “system” calls for a majority, although we have been aware during times of danger/safety internal people will step out to voice an opinion on command - for or against. It does seem that the “presence of a single confederate” can reduce conformity, but this works both with good and bad decisions. If we are on a diet, and one part thinks, “I’m hungry.” The presence of more parts that agree with her will tip the scale. One set of researchers have found that “a self-protective goal increased conformity for both men and women” (Briskevicius, Goldstein, Mortensen, Cialdini, & Kendrick, 2006, p. 281). So in this respect, it is more important we learn to conform toward safety's sake and worry less about conforming toward the decision to eat that donut. Unless, of course we were a diabetic and shouldn't be eating the donut, hmm?

Although we don’t understand how - which parts get “out-time,” we have long since recognized that being “out” has more influence on decision-making than anything else. When not in the presence of external people, the part out is the authority – is in control. Although parts can realize a co-consciousness, it is difficult to take over once another part firmly sets in … it is only when her resolve lessens or concedes to parts that have more urgent needs. Like the affect of the cold on Kelsie, or a tour of the big sisters. A part that needs to go to school or follow through a command of the boss would seem to be the parts with the most urgent business, but that truth holds out sometimes only as far as that point is being pressed directly. Once taken a step back from an external threat (need to get the job done), other parts may step up to convey they’re pressing needs, which might be to take a nap, read the news, or otherwise break from another’s intensity.

We found one more interesting resource that stated, “whatever its exact cause, however, it is clear that persons need their full complement of cognitive resources for the backfiring impact of an authority's command to occur robustly. If people do not have those resources, then they will be more likely to just go along with the crowd—and the command” (Conway, & Schaller, 2005, p. 323). We are thinking here to save our place in the “doing school-work line,” we better take care to replenish our cognitive resources less we fall complacent to following a crowd that would prefer to color. How to be less conforming, compliant, or obedient … listen to the voices of the inner “little people.” Basic needs seem most often to become the authority of the moment whether that representative belongs to a multiple, husband to wife, parents to kids, or boss to employee. Plus, they get you to the washroom on time.

References

Brehm, S. S., Kassin, S., & Fein, S. (2005). Social psychology [6th ed.]. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company.

Briskevicius, V., Goldsteing, N. J., Mortensen, C. R. Cialdini, R. B., & Kenrick, D. T. (2006, August). Going along versus going alone: When fundamental motives facilitate strategic (non)conformity. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 81(2), 281-294.

Conway, L, G. & Schaller, M. (2005, September). When authorities’ commands backfire: Attributions about consensus and effects on deviant decision making. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 89(3), 311-326.


End Paper ...

posted by Ann Marie @ 3/16/2007 07:30:00 PM Comments: 0